Fair & balanced 
Wielding a part-time hammer in a full-time war. POLITICS - HUMOR -
FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
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Quotes
"I'd rather fly coach with N-Sync than be married
again."
--
Eminem
We Poll Where the Sun Don't Shine
Excerpt:
"Astonishingly, a whopping sixty-nine percent
of those interviewed who
said they approved of how Bush is handling
his responsibilities also
believe Chocolat Mousse plays shortstop
for the Montreal Canadiens."
Kicking
Clinton - again
Excerpt:
Talk about your basic waste of time and
money
- taxpayer dollars, at that.
The GAO spent a year and $200,000 investigating
the alleged "damage, theft,
vandalism, and pranks" in the transition
from the Clinton Administration to that
of President Bush in January 2001. The
result: "little corroborating evidence"
to support Bush claims that departing Clintonites
had shamefully trashed the White House.
The
Mexican Horror
by Irene Adrian
Excerpt:
Henry pulled various sex toys and other
things I did not recognize from his bag, which David
used on me, on the bed, in various positions.
David had removed his shirt and had on a back brace
which he said he had to wear as a result
of injuries sustained in a plane crash. He also wore heavy
gray gloves that snapped around his wrists.
I noticed that he was very careful to keep his body as
far away from me as possible, stretching
out his bare arm to reach me. I turned my head to look
at Henry sitting in the chair by the door.
He was filming this, which was why David was being
so careful to stay out of the picture.
At some point someone told me to turn my head and smile.
For the best coverage, check 
FBI ‘guilty of cover-up’ over anthrax suspect
Excerpt:
"Early in the investigation," Rosenberg told
Scotland on Sunday, "a number of inside experts,
at least five that I know about, gave the
FBI the name of one specific person as the most
likely suspect. That person fits the FBI
profile in most respects. He has the right skills,
experience with anthrax, up-to-date anthrax
vaccination, forensic training, and access
to the US Army Medical Research Institute
for Infectious Diseases (AMRIID)
and its biological agents through 2001."
...but as long as he's just sending anthrax to well-known Democrats,
the illegal Fraud Administration can use all the fear they can
get.
Subject: Nazi movement
The Nazis didn't lose - they merely relocated.
Their goal to slowly Nazify the most powerful
nation in the world.
Once accomplished they could then take over the
rest of the world,
not a difficult task if they dangle Sword of
Damocles over the capitals of
non-compliant nations (star wars thermonuclear
weapons positioned in space).
What an interesting world we live in.
Why is this occurring? God only knows.
George M
Nazi's?
What Nazis?
Dubya is
my president.
What he
says - we do.
Mahony's
Cronies
In covering up for predator priests, Cardinal Roger Mahony's
stayed true to
a prestigious old boys' network of fellow alums from St. John's
Seminary in Camarillo.
Excerpt:
When Roger M. Mahony pulled the plug on
child-molesting priest Carl Sutphin after elevating
him to associate pastor, the cardinal's
visible anguish stemmed from more than just embarrassment.
In announcing Sutphin's departure, Mahony
first expressed sorrow -- not for the pedophile cleric's
victims, whom the cardinal had misled and
ignored for years -- but for the priest.
Why don't they get it?
Couldn't they at least fake some sympathy for the raped
children?
Another thing - since they hide their settlements, we'll never
know, but I think Dallas took
the church for $110M or so. That means, maybe-probably,
the Church has paid out a billion
dollars in the last decade or so.
Think of the good they could've done with that extra billion.
But no, they wanted to play "Hide the child molester," instead.
Quotes
"If you can read this,
you're not the President."
-- sign held by an anti-Bush demcnstrator
I see where Salon.com is doing another one of their important
expose's.
They even had the call to call the article Unmasking
Deep Throat
Trouble is, anfter that grandiose headline, they never say anything.
They beat around
the Bush with questions like, "How long
have you been searching for Deep Throat?"
and "If you were a tree, what kind would
you be?" before closing with the all important,
"Are you disappointed that you have
not named one person as Deep Throat,
but instead identified a very
small group who could be Throat?
So, after promising to "unmask Deep Throat," they give
you a Salon handjob, instead.
Have some time to waste?
...and be prepared for endless popups and offers to purchase a
tiny camera.
Breakthrough in the Chat Wars?
In an effort to slow the chat room deterioration, I agreed to print
an apology
if the chat transcript showed me being crazy and/or unreasonable in
our battle.
I made that challenge in good faith - and I like to think my word is
good,
and this is part of what I got back:
[01:30] <bart> I want kick power or fuck
it
[01:30] <Kai-> nice script
[01:31] <FascistanPete> ha, ha, WHO CARES
WHAT BIRDIE SAYS?
[01:31] <bart> can I get a yes/no?
[01:31] <quirkie> bc you do a great
imitation of bugsy at 18 months
[01:31] <algol> show of hands... Bart has
kick power
[01:31] <FascistanPete> unemployed moron.
[01:31] <Uberfemme> BART.....WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK you dont have it ALREADY?
..that's the part I dont understand
[01:31] * algol raises hand
[01:31] <Kai-> the answer is yes
[01:31] <Melic> bart has kick power already
[01:31] <bart> Christ, if the Glock was in this room I'd f-ing use it...
[01:31] <Kai-> thanks, that's nice to hear
[01:31] <bart> Can I ask a questuon?
[01:31] <FascistanPete> make me bart's enforcer.
Happy to do it.
[01:32] <Kai-> Pete, fuck you!!!
Now, that bold line is obviously the rantings of a wild-ass loon.
I wonder why I would've brought up that violent non-sequitor?
It obviously not germain to the conversation, what was I thinking?
The "Christ" sounds like me, for sure...
Christ, I'd bet my kid's lives that I'd never said that, but it's right
there
on the official transcript that was sent to Fud by ...the sender.
Odd that I would send a violent non-sequitor for no apparent reason.
Even considering it might have been made in jest, it's not a cool thing
to say.
This would seem to be proof that it was said, because this transcript
is
accurate, right?
Maybe it's part of getting old, but I'll tell you the way I remember
it.
The only time I remember mentioning the Glock was when someone asked
me,
"Is [stalker] really dangerous?"
to which I replied, "It's not a problem, he's
in Dallas.
Besides, I
have a Glock, so {stalker} doesn't scare me,"
but those words didn't appear in the transcript.
I think I even said, "I hope I don't have to shoot him," but
I really wouldn't, probably.
I've never met [stalker] and I wouldn't know to shoot him if I saw
him. But if a stranger threatens me,
sure, I'm armed, but shooting [stalker] or people in the chat room
wasn't meant as a serious threat.
Since my memory is very different that what the official record shows,
I can only assume my memory is faulty.
I hearby apologize for the wild gun talk
That printed Glock quote was clearly the rantings of a man not thinking
clearly.
Alabama sentences innocent man to death
Excerpt:
The government is arbitrarily unplugging
the care that keeps people with disabilities alive and
deaths have resulted. Stop states
from ending medical care for people with disabilities at age 21
Subject: J-Fest Video - REVIEW
I love this tape! If you were there, it
is a great record of an event you remember,
and it is faithful to the atmosphere. You
watch it, seeing people you know and
people you met, and recall the evening with fondness.
If you weren't there, this is
a good way to get a sense of it. You'll
still be disappointed that you didn't get to
be there, but you'll be happy to see exactly
what it was like.
You might even get that "just like being there"
feeling.
It's a very professional production, and I am
impressed with that. There's as much
footage of Julie as you could want, and a lot
with Nancy Luque (JHS's lawyer),
Joe Conason, David Brock, and James Carville
(whose "2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar..."
opening wasn't there, sadly).
Note: Another BartCop error!
I failed to
notify Kent that I was given the go sign.
He was frantically
changing tapes/batteries.
Not enough of Bartcop, either, but he does have
a speaking role on this tape.
If you're on the fence, consider that the cost
of this tape is less than an average trip
to a movie for 2, you get to keep it, and the
proceeds are going to help JHS.
Snabby
Fish
Tales
by Isaac Peterson
Excerpt:
We were shown the video and pretty much
ordered to start having fun.
We were dragged into meetings where ideas
were demanded from us on how
to make our workplace fun. No one had a
clue, and the evidence came from the
kinds of suggestions that my co-workers
were coming up with. Some examples:
crazy pants day, crazy hat day, wear your
clothes inside out day, and snack/potluck days.
Excerpt:
An annual right of passage turned to sorrow
yesterday at the commencement
of Ohio State University when four students
were shot and killed by members
of the Ohio National Guard.
is where it's at.
Glad I didn't say it...
In
Search of Moral Clarity
by William Rivers Pitt
Excerpt:
The Reverend Jerry Vines, senior pastor
of the Jacksonville, FL First Baptist Church,
spoke to thousands of the faithful at the
Southern Baptist pastors conference in St. Louis
this past Monday. In his remarks, Vines
stated that, "Islam is not just as good as Christianity."
Vines went on to decry Mohammed, the founder
of Islam, as, "A demon-possessed pedophile
who had twelve wives - and his last
one was a nine-year-old girl."
The Vegas Report
- Did The Venetian Rig a Promotional Event to Satisfy a High Roller?
Sheldon, Bubby!!!! - Say it Ain't So
- Kreskin Sees UFO, and Pigs Fly
- The Prurient Interest and Nearly Naked Twister at The Skin Pool
Lounge
- Hotel Workers Union Comes to Terms with Strip Properties
They read it in Haifa..
They read it in Oaxaca.
They read it in Las Vegas!
...bartcop.com
Bob
Barr's emotional distress
Clinton's most ardent foe sues him for $30 million
-- while championing a bill against frivolous lawsuits.
Excerpt:
Barr has quietly filed a suit against Clinton,
Carville and Flynt for
"participating in a common scheme and unlawful
on-going conspiracy
to attempt to intimidate, impede and/or
retaliate against Barr"
for his role as an impeachment manager
in 1999.
Behold: Bob Barr's vast left-wing conspiracy.
Warning: This story is from Salon.com.
It may be entirely made up.
Quotes
''A Vote for Nader Is a Vote for Bush.''
And Bush says:
''Really? I think I'll vote for Nader.''
-- unknown
The Kelly O controversy
Maybe someone could read this and tell me what it means?
I saw KO sing a song live and do a really good job.
Like most reporting these days, this article is so poorly-written
I don't have a clue what the writer meant to say.
Are they saying what we saw was footage from rehearsal?
Excerpt:
"Reporters were promised that replacement footage
of her singing would be sent
to them. But the replacement footage sounded
nothing like the live performance.
It was either dubbed or remixed."
What the hell does that mean?
Screw the reporters, they are meaningless, no-account zeroes.
Tell us what was broadcast, because it didn't look like a sync
job.
Did the TV audience see a tape, while Kelly performed poorly for
the live crowd?
Anyone have a clue?
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Afterwards, we'll walk the mall.
Quotes
"This week hundreds of bishops arrived in Dallas
for their annual convention.
You know what that means? Party! Party!
Party!
A couple of bellboys are being carried
over the threshold tonight."
—Jay
Leno
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