I have been an admirer of yours for a long fucking time. Why just the other
day,
I asked my wife, "Who do you think I'm thinking about right now?" and she
said,
"I'll bet it's Karl fucking Rove again. "You bet your sweet ass I am,"
I retorted.
Anyway, as a serious student of political discourse and backstabbing, I
thought
I'd offer you up a FREE critique. I hope you don't mind, but I know you're
a busy
man with lots to think about, and since I'm fucking unemployed, I've got
plenty of
thinking time on my hands. So here goes.
As with any critique worth its salt, I'll start off with something you
did right.
And what you did right was to initially position good ole' GW Bush as a
cowboy.
Not only does that say TEXAS in loud-n-clear voice, it also says hard workin'
man.
Okay, now that I got my obliga-fuckintory compliment out of the way, let
me say this.
It is high time you drop the fucking cowboy act. Do it now before the election.
Fercryinoutloud!
People are tired of it. It's old. It's stale. It's so 15 minutes ago. Got
it? Good.
Now, I wouldn't pretend to tell you something was wrong without giving
you a
way to fix it, so here goes. It's time you position good ole' GW Bush as,
and get
this, an astronaut. HA! Jesus Christ with a fucking nail gun, could you
think of
a better way to appeal to the electorate? Didn't think so.
An astronaut is perfect in so many ways. 1. People love astronauts. 2.
Good ole'
GW looks great in a flight suit (although that last time it looked like
he might of
shit his pants in the front. I still can't figure that one out). 3. When
you think of
astronauts, you always think of Houston (which is in Texas). And 4. Every
time
he fucks up, he can always say "Houston, we have a problem" and people
will
go right back to loving him again.
Anyway, Mr. Rove, it's my pleasure corresponding with you and I hope you
take my sage advice.
Good luck!
Mr. Hinky Dink
P.S. If you think about it, astronaut would also be a little closer to
GW's personality.
Cowboys are hard workin', like I said. Astronauts only work a few days
out of
the year, just like GW!