Fair & Balanced No Spin Zone, too 
Wielding a part-time hammer in a full-time war. POLITICS - HUMOR -
FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
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Quotes
"Today Martha Stewart was served a subpoena.
This thing is so hot she had to use
an oven mitt to receive it."
-- Dave
No one with a DWI conviction will be hired by the NYPD
Click
Here
Excerpt:
No one with a prior conviction for driving
while intoxicated will be hired
as a New York City police officer, Police
Commissioner Ray Kelly said Friday.
''Certainly if someone's convicted of driving
while intoxicated,
they will be barred from employment,''
Kelly said.
But you don't have to worry about the man some call "president."
He's never worked a day in his life, anyway.
Subject: Too bad Bush never read the Constitution
Bush says:
"We need common-sense judges who understand
that our rights were derived from God.
Those are the kind of judges I intend
to put on the bench."
Article VI of the Constitution says:
The Senators and Representatives before
mentioned, and the members of
the several state legislatures, and all
executive and judicial officers, both of the
United States and of the several states,
shall be bound by oath or affirmation,
to support this Constitution; but no
religious test shall ever be required as a
qualification to any office or public trust
under the United States.
BBSales
Last weekend we met Christian in Fayetteville and partied.
She prefers to cut her Grey Goose with cranberry juice.
(That's OK, she's a girl.)
I ran to the 7-11 go get some cranberry, and saw a mini-laser
pointer for sale.
It was eight bucks. Hey, I got eight bucks for a
cool toy.
So we played with the laser pointer in the room.
We were like Larry Klayman and lawsuits.
We had to light up everything in the motel room.
So we get home Sunday, and Mrs. Bart was playing with it, ...and the cats noticed.
ha ha
If you have a cat, stop reading this right now and go to
Spencer's Gifts or somewhere
and buy a laser pointer for $8. Hell, if 7-11 charged $8
they may be only $5.
But there's nothing better than a cat chasing a laser
point of light.
With a slight turn of your wrist, you can send the cat chasing
down the long hall.
Then he chases that light all the way back up the hall.
In mere minutes, he's exhausted!
We have this fishing pole toy, that has a fuzzy on the end of
it, but the cats are so sharp,
they nail the fuzzy ever few seconds and you have to disengage
to start replay.
...but he ain't catching no laser point.
ha ha
If your cat catches the laser point - call me and I'll make you rich.
But seriously, whatever it takes, buy your cat a laser pointer.
It's the best toy your cat will ever have, and with very little
effort
you can wear your cat out, so it's a win-win-win.
Gamblers love a win-win-win.
A look back at a story previously seen on bartcop.com
Revealed:
the men with stolen identities
September 23, 2001
Excerpt:
Their names were flashed around the world
as suicide hijackers who carried
out the attacks on America. But yesterday
four innocent men told how their
identities had been stolen by Osama bin
Laden's teams to cover their tracks.
The men - all from Saudi Arabia - spoke
of their shock at being mistakenly
named by the FBI as suicide terrorists.
None of the four was in the United
States on September 11 and all are alive
in their home country.
It's sad that Bush's good puppy press refuses to print the truth
or follow up on the stories
that other newspapers are running. Does the FBI have a clue who
they were?
Why can't we get the truth?
If it was Clinton's zipper, we'd have a right to know every detail,
but since it's "just 3,000 dead,"
we should shut up and be quiet?
...to protect Bush and his precious pipeline plans for Afghanistan?
Here's a quote for you from Jello Biafra, of Dead Kennedy's fame:
> "We are patriotic citizens too. Patriotism
means 'love of country',
> caring about its people, its
ecosystem, and others around us. Not giving
> blind loyalty and a blank check
to George W. Bush. We are patriotic enough
> to care about the long term
effects instead of just the short term gain.
> Therefore it is our patriotic
duty to guard our country and our constitution
> against people and forces hiding
behind the flag."
Jello Biafra
The CD is The Big Ka-Boom,
Vol. 1 is available at alternativetentacles.com
Davis
JulieFestWest Talk
This may be premature, but I just want to plant the seed.
I know some of you are planning to drive to Las Vegas.
Rumor is Gens is driving from Nantucket - but that's just a rumor.
With the communication powers we have, it should be easy to form
car pools.
For instance, remember Bob in Oklahoma from the Juliefest2002-DC
tape?
He drove a 8-passenger van to DC. If he goes to JulieFestWest,
he might let someone ride
if they chip in for gas. He'd have to pass thru OKC, Amarillo,
Albuquerque, Flagstaff, etc.
So if you lived near of any of those cities, getting to
Vegas might be easy & cheap.
Just a suggestion.
If you'd like to go and can't afford airfare, maybe post a note
on BartCop
Forum
I'll bet you could get a ride pretty easy - PLUS
- hotels allow up to 4 people per room.
That could turn a $169 luxury suite into just $45 each.
The Treehouse in Sin City - you'll want to be there!
Challenge
excepted
My good friend and author Jeff Crook has
on his page:
Yesterday, BartCop wrote:
> I have one, simple question: How would you feel if the Pledge of Allegiance
closed with,
> "one nation, under Mohammed...." You like that? You ready to swear
your allegiance to Mohammed?
> No? But you want me to swear my loyalty to your God? Has there ever
been a more clear-cut and
> obvious argument?
It is neither as clear cut nor as obvious
as this. No law in this
land forces anyone to pledge allegiance,
'under God' or not.
Two points here:
Even if you're not forced to say the pledge, staying silent while
all the "good Americans"
are pledging can get your ass kicked, or as least you'll become
the object of ridicule.
More importantly, we're being asked to pledge to a lie. I think
religion is just silliness
designed to take your money, so why should I pledge my allegiance
to a nation under God?
But this 'under God' issue is one that the
Republicans can slaughter, and I mean slaughter
Democrats over. If we want to gain one
Senate or House seat in any of the Red States,
we cannot let the GOP lure us into this
fight. We'll lose it, and with it, the Senate.
I disagree that it's dangerous to stand up for the Constitution,
but Jeff is right when he says
Dems can get slaughtered for this, but that's only because they're
too afraid to fight back.
Believing in the Constitution is dangerous only when you refuse
to stand your ground.
I mean, I could beat Michael Jordan at basketball if he refused
to play.
Read Jeff's entire article at uncommonsense.20m.com
Quotes
"Officials now believe they know how
the wildfire in Arizona started.
The fire started when a priest
put his hand on a Bible."
--Craig Kilborn
Subject: Friday June 28 edition
You wrote:
> Maybe the pledge should read,
> "one nation, under the illegal occupation of an unelected fraud..."
Amen.
Ironically all this hubbub only serves to prove
the point that the judges made in their opinion... I don't
know about Oklahoma but in Hotlanta we had all
the morning radio shows interviewing the Georgia
Congressmen who were calling the judges "fruits"
and "nuts" and the parent bringing the lawsuit a
"deviant" for daring to teach his child about
a religion different than the establishment religion.
Heaven only knows what they would do to a child
who dared not say a pledge to their god.
Gary
Atlanta
Gary, good point.
Dissent is becoming a thing only found in history books.
Subject: When you go to Vegas....
BC...
All right - I know you love Vegas. I'm dyin'
to go...
I've never been, but it's on my short list of
things to do.
But you gotta tell me - what is your game when you're in Vegas? =-)
Dann
Dann, there's a lot I can't say...
Oh, ...you mean gambling?
Few things are as much fun as drinking & gambling.
I've never played craps, maybe someone will show me how.
I've played a little Blackjack, but Mrs. Bart likes to stay
in casinoes*
that have a $10 or $25 minimum, and I can't afford that. The cheaper
places
such as downtown or off the Strip have $1 and $2 minimums - that I
can play.
Roulette is some mindless fun, and sometimes I'm into mindless
fun.
And everybody loves the slots because you can't get yelled at.
Sidebar:
I remember the first time I played Blackjack.
I saw some guy slide his cards under his chips
- meaning "no more cards."
So once, when I finally hit a "20," I picked
up the chips I bet and placed them
on my cards and the dealer said, very sternly,"Don't
touch the bet, Sir,"
But even if you're not gambling, it's fun to watch the others. At the
high dollar joints,
you see signs saying "Maximum bet $10,000."
Watching high-stakes gambling is mesmerizing.
You'll see people sitting there with maybe $250K in chips. The craps
tables always have a
commotion going on, whooping and hollering just like in the movies.
And even if you plan to do little or no gambling, as you walk thru a
casino you'll see
a BMW Boxster rotating in the air. Sometimes you can drop three dimes
in a slot and pull
that handle, knowing someone is going to win that Boxster - so why
not you?
Hot tip:
Whatever you do, always bet the maximum on a slot machine, meaning
don't put two dimes or
two quarters in a machine that takes three coins because God is watching.
Every time you do that,
those sevens will line up and you'll win $300, but it would've been
$500,000 if you had bet three dimes
instead of two - that drives me crazy.
You Can Steal An Election
But
Don’t Touch the Pledge
Excerpt:
"But as long as the judges had the gumption to
deal with the matter, I’ll go one farther than the court:
I think there is something wrong with forcing
kids to say a pledge that has the words “with liberty and
justice for all” in an environment of diminishing
liberty and justice in this country. In fact, why do we
force them to say a pledge to the flag
at all, as if we are stuck in the McCarthy days? Are we that
insecure about our country’s ideals that
we have to force people to hollowly mouth words?"
Subject: Response to Bartcop
I just read your article on the website
about Rosie. I am disgusted with your resonse to her.
Rosie has every right to say whatever she
wants, to whomever she wants. She is entitled to
the statement about Bill Clinton just as
you are. But the way you defended him is amazing
and very off-centered in your thinking.
I voted for him and I supported him.
Whoa!
I didn't say she had no right to say what she said. I called
her a whore for making money
selling out her old friend to the wolves who want to take her
children away from her.
But he was too damn stupid to get caught
with his pants down. What an idiot screwing around
with Monica. He blew it and he needs to
take responsibility for his actions. Stop making excuses.
Are you blindsided just because he was
so helpful to the GLBT community?
Blindsided?
No, I just don't believe in screwing my friends to make money.
So, am I to assume that you are saying a
person can do whatever he or she wants
as long as they are supporting us?
That's hysterical talk.
Nobody said he should be able to do "whatever he wants."
If he had done what Condit did, I'd want him in jail.
Yes, I acknowledge he did do many things
for the community and I really liked him.
(Notice I wrote liked) However, am I supposed
to turn a blind eye to the fact that he
blatently lied to the entire world.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
His sex life is none of your damn business.
He isn't supposed to talk about his sex life at press conferences.
What's wrong with you?
If he lied about this what else has he lied about that we are not even aware of?
That's ditto-head talk.
And Jesus, to what other president are you comparing Clinton?
The ones who sold arms to terrorists and lied about it?
The really stupid one who stole the election?
It is not just about supporting our community,
it is about integrity.
That seems to be lost in the political
arena, business, and many other arenas.
Send me your street address - I'll send you a copy of Carville's "Stickin."
So you are blasting Rosie because she is not being a "politically correct" lesbian.
No, I'm blasting her for being a whore. This was her first night
"back" as a stand-up
and she wanted to create a big buzz to get her career moving
again.
Get a clue, dude. There is a lot of crap
we close our eyes to because someone
is "nice" to us or supports us. Or throws
us a bone.
Karen
Karen, just curious - if Republicans spent $200
million investigating you, would you do OK?
If they looked reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal deep into your
sex life, and then put
EVERYTHING, even the untrue, salacious rumors started by your
enemies, on every news
channel 24/7, plus the nightly network news, would you do as
well as our last elected president?
By the way - I take it you're gay - have you ever lied about your
sex life?
Have you ever - even once - denied being gay?
Have you ever let someone get the impression you might be straight,
to get a job or a promotion, or just to keep a ditto-monkey off
your back?
I have a feeling Clinton's not the only one who has lied about
his sex life.
The gay community has no business supporting the Republican sex police.
Drug Test the President
Since the Supreme Court decided to uphold
drug testing of students who sing in
the choir, it raises the question of who’s
next? For example since President Bush
is calling for more drug tests, shouldn’t
he set and example and submit to drug testing himself?
If the government requires children who
sing to be drug tested then shouldn’t the guy with
his finger on the nuclear trigger also
be drug tested?
Why don’t we drug test members of the Supreme
Court? Why don’t we drug test all judges?
What don’t we also drug test members of
Congress? Let’s be consistent in our drug testing policies
and let those who would take away our privacy
rights surrender those rights themselves.
I therefore call on President Bush, all
Judges, Governors, and all members of the Legislature
to submit to random drug tests.
Additional Comment on the side: What
do you think about the idea of drug testing journalists?
Thanks in advance for printing my letter.
Marc Perkel
Ruck Fush mouse pads
!
Click to order
$15.95
That jerk at the office who worships Rush?
Wait till he sees your new mouse pad - that'll teach him!
JulieFestWest
Updates on Party of the Year at The
Rio
Click
on the Rio for the JFW Kickoff!
A
room at the Rio
Check the
floor-to-ceiling glass walls
September
27-29th - tickets on sale!
Subject: 44 & 45 and...
So does Cheney become the 44th president
while Bush gets his procedure?
Then when Bush wakes up is he the 45th
president?
Why don't he and Cheney sleep in shifts?
What about when we were at war under 41?
How come Quayle wasn't president when Bush
was sleeping?
What about when Bush is working out in the
gym?
Is Cheney president then?
I must have missed this stuff in civics.
kmc
I agree, it's very confusing.
To this day, Bush has never had the mental
faculties to be president.
What was different about Saturday's mole
hunt?
They read it in Minsk.
They read it in Monte Carlo.
They read it in Mt. Vernon, Washington, while waiting for their
raspberries...
...bartcop.com
to Julie Hiatt Steele
If you can't send any shillings,
how about a note that says "Thanks?"
Excerpt:
"The country is being run by a tinhorn dictator,
a spoiled brat of a man who is either
too ignorant or too cold to care that
he is pushing the world to the brink of catastrophe.
The so-called "opposition party" is too
busy cheering on unilateralist action in Iraq to put up
a real fight on the overt malfeasance and
utter lack of morality exhibited by the reactionary
elements of the Republican Party. Some
of the Democratic members of Congress are too
afraid of their own unethical activity
coming to light to push for badly needed reforms."
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