One nation, under a Catholic God... 
Wielding a part-time hammer in a full-time war. POLITICS - HUMOR -
FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
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Quotes
"President Bush said if they take out "under
God"
then they have to take out "witches
stands."
-- Leno, with his first good joke in months,
...thanks to K Weaver
US Economy in Death Spiral
Nasdaq, once at 5000, falls
to 1403, lowest point in 5 years
Dow down to 9110
Investors dump WorldCom stock
at record pace
Construction spending falls
unexpectedly
Cities, states facing huge
financial pitfalls
Detroit hoping zero financing
will spur sluggish sales
SEC tries to fix "crisis
in confidence"
Bush says more tax cuts for
super-rich will fix everything
...and when the Dow falls all the way to 3500,
we can buy the state of California for next to nothing
with the money we stole out of the Social Security fund.
We'll teach them to vote against the Bush Family Evil Empire.
Ashcroft Aggressively Pursues Death Penalty
Excerpt:
Since Ashcroft became attorney general,
the Justice Department has been
three times more likely to seek death for
black defendants accused of killing whites
than for blacks alleged to have killed
nonwhites."
Gee, I'm shocked.
Who knew Ashcroft was a racist?
Everybody did - before the Democrats confirmed him.
Quotes
"[One nation under God] is an old cockamamie
Republican right-wing thing.
If you're not out there publicly claiming
you love God more than everybody,
everybody else hates God. You know,
some people can have religion and
it could be a private matter."
-- Carville, last night's Crossfire
But they don't want to pray privately.
They want to make a big production out of being seen praying.
Carville nailed it, as always.
"I love God more than you, so you're
a bad person."
We can either fight this crap now, before Ashcroft makes it a
law,
or we can fight it after he makes it the law.
JulieFest2002-DC
tape review
by Mad Dog
Excerpt:
It will be fun to look at this tape many
years down the road.
Even though I wasn’t there, I will know
that my spirit was.
Seeing Julie Hiatt Steele in her shining
moment, seeing some great authors:
seeing James Carville and Bart, and seeing
all my so many of my cyber-buddies
in one place, all for a good cause, was
a great mental and emotional lift.
George Michael on Dangerous Ground with New Song
Excerpt:
"The cartoon video sees Bush on the White House
lawn petting a smiling
poodle-shaped Blair and also depicts the
two leaders dancing the tango,
Blair in a flowing dress."
Warning for the laser cat toy
Several people wrote to say DO NOT shine the laser in your cat's
eye.
Be very careful with it.
Ashcroft,
in red, holds prayer rally.
Subject: Maximum Coins
You're ABSOLUTELY RIGHT on betting maximum coins.
I was in Laughlin (90 miles
south of Las Vegas) one time and bet 3 pennies
(maximum was 18) in a slot and hit a
straight flush (it was a penny poker machine).
I won $70.
If I had put in an extra 15 cents, I would have
won $840!!!!!
Sigh.
Then, maybe I could have afforded to go to JulieFest
West!
Ah, well, live and learn....
Patricia S
Pat, maybe if you go, you'll win enough to get back home :)
I knew a guy who went to Vegas in a $30K Cadillac and came home in
a $80K Greyhound bus!
How about some Enron boxer shorts?
Click to order
They're
not cheap,
but they're
sexy as hell!
Close up
JulieFest2002-DC
tape review
by Mad Dog
Excerpt:
It will be fun to look at this tape many
years down the road.
Even though I wasn’t there, I will know
that my spirit was.
Seeing Julie Hiatt Steele in her shining
moment, seeing some great authors:
seeing James Carville and Bart, and seeing
all my so many of my cyber-buddies
in one place, all for a good cause, was
a great mental and emotional lift.
Bart, wise up!
Oral sex is "shamefull, terrible and awful,"
whereas stealing billions of dollars from the life savings
of thousands of middle-class Texas families in
a corporate accounting swindle is "just doing business."
Lou
Lou, it's another BartCop error!
If you haven't seen The
Vegas Report lately, you should check it out.
Well, guys should, I mean, because there's a total Babe-o-Rama
going on there.
It seems some casinoes*
are
allowing some scandalous girl-girl dancing
and Dave has done a good deal of gathering evidence to explain
the problem.
Excerpt:
The Gaming Control Board is worried that
some casino resorts may be getting too risqué
even for Sin City. The increasing frequency
of such incidents has led the Board to send teams
of control board agents out every night
to monitor activities at some of the casino industry's
hottest nightclubs, in an effort to determine
whether public nudity or sexual behavior is being
tolerated at Las Vegas casinos. .
ha ha
And I gotta finance cars for a living?
Click Here then do some scrolling.
If I'd known Las Vegas allowed this kinda stuff,
I would've insisted on having JulieFestWest some place
pure ...like Salt Lake City!
BAM!
Whoops, I was just hit by lightning for lying...
Subject: Correspondent for the All-Star Game
Dear Editor;
I will be attending the 2002 baseball All-Star
game at Miller Park in Milwaukee.
Events include the Legends/Futures Softball Game
on Sunday (Ho-Hum!),
the Home Run Derby on Monday and the game itself
on Tuesday.
Whoa!
What do you mean "Ho-Hum?"
I'd pay money to see a softball game with Hank Aaron, Stan Musial,
Willie Mays, Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson and............Pete Rose!
I hereby volunteer to be the Bartcop sports correspondent
for the game and All-Star weekend.
I am a lifelong Wisconsin resident therefore
I can give the inside scoop on brats, beer and Wisconsin babes.
I have no background journalism but am a lifelong
competitive athlete and my father was the last basketball
All-American at Univ. of Wisconsin, a two time
Big Ten leading scorer and the #2 overall pick in the 1951 NBA draft.
I am a three time National Champion oarsmen at
the University of Wisconsin, have pitched two no-hitters and have
a four golf handicap. I also know how to
ask a question and know BS when I see it or hear it.
ha ha
He must be a Democrat.
Please fill me in on how to win the Corvette...
if I say "Bartcop.com" on national TV is that how I win??
Does ESPN count? Terry and I go back a
ways and have talked personally on the phone.
Thanks,
Gary R
Gary, a bartcop.com mention on ESPN may not get you a Corvette,
but it will get you 2002 calender personally signed by the awesome
Brooke
Burke!
click for more
Burke
Commentary on "under god,"
patriotism and atheism
by Dr. Bomb
Excerpt:
Am I the only one who reads that part of
the Pledge to be "...one nation, invisible..." without missing a beat?
But, aside for historical accuracy on my
part, I know the Pledge is bullshit for another reason.
JulieFestWest
Updates on Party of the Year at The
Rio
Click
on the Rio for the JFW Kickoff!
September
28th - tickets on sale!
Subject: Monkeyette Bonnie
I don't write often, but when I do the thoughts
I write are my own.
The first 7/8 of Bonnie's email to you about
9/11, prayer in schools, blah, blah, blah
is from a junk email that has made the internet
rounds.
I get caught having to read those things periodically.
My spouse is a pastor, so some people
(unfortunately members of my family included)
think that I (and my spouse?) am some right wing wacko.
I guess they don't know me as well as they think
I do. I prefer to be a left wing nutjob, personally
...makes the world a better place in the long
run.
Thanks for your site. Although I disagree
with your thoughts on the existence of God,
I am thankful you are out there pounding the
hammer. I would like to help make the hammer bigger,
but I am going to graduate school in the fall
to study more about the 'ghost' (a theology degree)
and that is sucking all the funds right now.
Keep Hammerin'
Jeff
Jeff, I tell myself I'm a man of science and logic.
I'll allow for the possibility that there could be a God, but
I see no evidence of it.
On the other hand, no religious person will ever agree there's a chance
they're
wrong,
which, to me, just proves how blindly they follow what they were taught
as children.
Weeks ago, I lost my long-time senior political guru to a wacky, unknown
blood clot,
but he said something that will always stay with me. We were having
an argument one night,
and I asked him if he was totally and absolutely certain about his
last statement .
He replied this way:
He held a pencil out at arm's length and said. "I'm
going to let go of this pencil, and when I do,
I strongly suspect it will fall to the floor.
But I can't rule out that one-in-a-billion chance it won't."
That's how I feel about God and religion.
If that pencil ever falls up, I might become a believer.
As far as Bonnie, I don't want to "pull a Pigboy," but I suspected it
was plaigerized horseshit
when the phrase "and we said OK"
kept popping up. I was too rehearsed to be a normal e-mail.
Quotes
"Remember the good old days, like two years
ago, when the U.S.
used to run a budget surplus of $5.6
trillion? Mr. President and the
Republican Party, where in the hell
did all the money go?"
--James Carville, Crossfire, 07/01/02
It went to the Bush Family Evil Empire and their crooked partners.
They read it in Birkirkara.
They read it in San Carlos de Bariloche.
They read it in Fairplay, Colorado at the Brown Burro Inn.
...bartcop.com
JulieFest2002-DC
tape review
by Julie RB
Excerpt:
Would you rather spend ninety minutes of
your LIFE watching the struggle between good and evil?
The feel-good story of the decade -- hell,
one of the greatest feel-good stories since our nation was founded
-- was captured in James Carville's restaurant,
West 24, in Washington, DC, on April 27, 2002.
The good guys won, due to the courage,
the determination and the refusal to quit of a woman who
looks like she'd blow over in a strong
breeze, but has the heart of a lion.
to Julie Hiatt Steele
Remember this DM from yesterday?
Reader comments on Ann Coulter's "The Clinton Rehab Project, Part 2".
To: Leftists@MWO, The Truth Sure Hurts, Don't It?
Thank You Anne for another brutally honest
and factually accurate journalistic masterpiece.
I say, let the Clintonians and the Leftists continue
to embarrass themselves with these feeble
attempts at historical Reconstructionism; I'm
sure it will provide endless monolog fodder for
Leno and Letterman. I only wish more people could
appreciate your writing style.
Hardly a word is wasted as your devilishly
sophisticated wit tears out the heart
of the enemy right before their very eyes...
Ed
ha ha
He's praising Coulter, the cunning linguist who was FIRED
by Luci the Bat's,
...son, for being too wild and too over the top for the right-wing loonies to take seriously!
Department
of Terrorist Chatter
by Steven Sacco
Join
the BartCop Police Force
You get to use a real gun and everything.
Click to be a Corona Barney Fife .22 (single-bullet) cop for $10 a month
No plungers allowed on duty.
Join today!
The Bush Pardons
George Herbert Herbert Bush pardoned bank robbers, gun-runners,
embezzlers,
(but Kneel Bush didn't need a pardon because, since he's a
Bush, he wasn't charged)
tax cheats, campaign cheaters, kickback conspirators (probably
BFEE business) narco bandits,
killers, more tax evaders, mail thieves, Worker's Comp
frauds, more gun runners, speed dealers,
outright traitors, (but Reagan didn't need a pardon because
Bush pardoned all his co-conspirators
to bury the truth) forgers, an AWOL bastard (but not
Dubya, because he's royalty - thus never charged)
another deserter, another bank robber, a customs
violator (but not Columba Bush, who is Jeb's wife.
She's royalty, so she just paid a little fine, no pardon required
for her) a heroin dealer, (I am not making this up),
a pot dealer caught with 10+ pounds, another bank robber,
another AWOL guy (Bush seems partial to AWOLs
and deserters - I wonder why?) a bid-rigger, (obviously
another B.F.E.E. contact) another heroin dealer
plus one guy named Paul Karsten Fauteck, who was convicted
of:
1 ) Interstate transportation of stolen motor vehicle,
2) Conspiracy to smuggle alien into United States and attempting
to conceal alien,
3) Transporting false securities in interstate commerce,
4) Absent without leave from Army and wrongful disposition of government
property
5) Absent without leave
This guy got a Bush pardon?
I guess his family paid the B.F.E.E. a lot of money.
...and, of course, the media looked the other way.
There was no investigation, no outrage, no uproar.
It's OK, it's just business as usual at the Bush Family Evil Empire.
Compare that to the media frenzy when Roger Clinton walked in a hotel
lobby
and waved at some guy. The media went ape-shit over "possible
selling of pardons,"
but the Bush Family always gets a pass, and nobody can explain
why...
Slot Payout List
According to this list (from The
Vegas Report) these four casinoes*have
the tightest slots.
It's my opinion that the places that aren't doing much business
have to loosen their slots.
Check out the company The Rio is in.
The Venetian, Bellagio and Mandalay Bay are the
most expensive properties in all of Gommorah!
On the other hand, check out the loosest slot places:
I hear The Palms is a cool place, (they are the newest
in town, so they need business)
but the "top-paying" properties aren't exactly setting the world
on fire.
Be prepared to rock when we invade Sin City!
Big Bonus Issue
Quotes
"Ronald Reagan and George Bush tripled the
amount of debt that this country did.
Deficit spending is a unique Republican
thing, and they ought to be ashamed of
themselves and these clowns have come
in and run through $2 trillion in Social Security
trust fund and 5.6 trillion in the
surplus."
--James Carville, Crossfire, 07/01/02
James,
why so angry?
Dubya's
a good guy,
and
he's doing a great job.
Gosh,
he's our president!
You
sound like Bart, sometimes...
Shopping
online?
Use the portal below
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more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl