"The good Lord didn’t see fit to always put
oil and gas resources where there are democratic
governments." -- Vice President Oil, explaining why it's
OK to invade other countries,
kill their leaders
and force American religion on them at gunpoint.
House
GOP Already Failed on Corporate Responsibility
On July 9, 2002, President Bush went to
Wall Street to call for several specific reforms
in response to the recent corporate responsibility
scandals. However, many of his plans
have already been proposed by Democrats
in Congress - and shot down by Bush's fellow
Republicans. The following is a list of
reforms that the House Republicans have already rejected.
Excerpt: When George W Bush fingered 59-year-old
Dick Cheney as his Vice-Presidential running mate,
America’s right-wing pundits erupted in
praise. They pointed to the Nebraska-born Cheney’s
government experience as White House chief
of staff and Secretary of Defense. They hailed his
‘cool-headedness’, moral rectitude and
success as a no-nonsense frontperson for Big Oil. Time
magazine even described Cheney as a ‘grey
sheriff from some late-period Clint Eastwood western,
riding out of retirement to drive off the
rascals who’d plundered his town’.
What the press barely mentioned were the
skeletons in Sheriff Cheney’s closet. Now that he is
second-in-command of the most powerful
nation on earth these skeletons are worth dusting off –
especially in the area of foreign policy
where Cheney will wield great, if not definitive, influence in
the Bush camp.
Excerpt: Bullies will forever rant, and rave, and
bluster their way through
the agenda du jour because it is
tolerated, and because they know
it will never be mentioned again. What
impeachment?
Subject: Robert Ballard
Discovers Presidential War Relic
Today, Dr. Robert Ballard, discoverer of
the Titanic, announced he has discovered a Presidential War relic.
"Through extensive research of Air Force
Records, MP DUI Reports, and a still due $83,000 bar tab,
we have discovered George W. Bush's
O-Club bar stool, on which he bravely sat on during his service
in the Texas Air National Guard. Our research
indicated Mr. Bush preferred to sit close to the men's room.
After a search lasting up to ten minutes,
we discovered the bar stool!"
"We ran tests to verify our find, they all
show traces of Cocaine, which we feel makes it proof positive
that is indeed the Bar Stool in which George
W. Bush Fought the Vietnam War on!"
The President said today he was pleased
and the announcement brought of fuzzy memories of the times
he and his pink elephant friend "Sparky"
sat at the bar discussing the deep Philosophical disciplines.
The Stool will occupy a place of honor along
side his Harken Stock Options in the George W. Bush
Presidential Library, Reeducation Camp
and GULAG, to be build in a secrete secure location.
Excerpt: The underlying complaint, and this comes
from Limbaugh/Buchanan/Satan too, is really that
The Press IS performing its function. It's
not the job of The Press to beat drums for our pet causes,
but we want them to do that anyway.
Subject: Bartfest
Hey Bart,
I'm still coming.
We are still putting the cost of the trip together,
it keeps going up!
But I'm gonna be there if I have to peddle a
damn tricycle from Houston to Las Vegas.
I've still got bruises from kicking myself for
not going to Julifest.
I'm not buying tickets until I know who's coming
with me.
Your big fan,
Rusty in Texass
Memos: Bush knew of Harken's
problems by Anthony York
Excerpt: Meanwhile, Bush and his Harken colleagues
received a warning about selling
based on insider information. On June15,
1990, one week before Bush's sale,
Harken attorneys at the firm of Haynes
and Boone sent a memo to Harken staffers
with the subject line "Liability for Insider
Trading and Short-Swing Profits."
"If the insiders presently possess any material
non-public information,
a sale of any of their shares could be
viewed critically," the memo states.
Excerpt: "If you're looking for someone who set
the moral tone for the decade of the '90s, I don't think
you have to look any further than the former
president's behavior," explained House Ways and
Means Chairman Bill Thomas on CNN late
last month. "It's impossible to understand Enron,"
editorialized The Wall Street Journal,
"outside the moral climate in which it flourished ... the Clinton years,
when we learned that `everybody does it.'"
Or, as Steve Forbes put it recently, "If you want to look at the
tone of the '90s, it started right at the
top, at the White House, where the attitude was anything goes."
Quotes
"There are many humorous things in the
world; among them the white man's notion
that he is less savage than the other savages". --Mark Twain
Subject: the Bush abortion
Bart-
Do you have the name of the child that George
W. Bush molested
and then persuaded to get an abortion? Also,
do you have the name
of the Hospital and the date of the incident?
Please help. (and do NOT print my e-mail
addy...EVER)
I woke up in a sweat in the middle of the night.
I realized I was headlining in Las Vegas and I
don't even have an act.
Dilemma: Not sure what to do...
Do we move forward with the Party
of the Year? Or do we bail and accept defeat?
I decided to pray about it.
I asked Him to send me a sign.
Please, God, send me a sign - tell me what to do!
Shall I lead my people into the desert?
Shall we seek the promised land?
Send me a sign, Oh, Lord!
When I got done praying, it was all very clear to me.
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes this morning was
the date.
It was 7-11.
What? It can't be!
Can it be?
That's it!
7-11!!!
God wants us to go to Las
Vegas and play craps! His will be done! Glory!
Note: God is never wrong!
Thank you, God, for helping me with that tough decision!
So, the party is on. If we end up with 20 people ready to party, we'll take over the
Pink Taco or rent a bus and go to Area 51 or whatever the hell we
want to do.
If 50-100 people want to party, we'll need a room, but rooms
can be had.
In Las Vegas, you can do anything if you whip out the
plastic.
The hastily-named BartFest
won't have any speeches unless we snag
some celebrities, which is another reason to move forward.
If we cancelled,
I'd get a call the next day from Surprise Number One and
that would kill me.
Instead of speeches, maybe after a few shots I'll sing a few
songs - just kidding.
Maybe American
Stranger would perform his hit song "Oil War" at the gig?
There are already too many people committed to think about turning
back.
Remember, you're making your own hotel reservations.
One thing for sure - the video of Vegas will be much different
than the DC video.
I figure if nothing else, I'll wait until everyone is loopy and
then turn on the camera.
That way I can blackmail everyone and then quit my job.
Excerpt: It was quite a few years back, around the
time I broke out of the black operations.
I was conducting an investigation of some
covert operations in an underground facility
in Pine Bush, New York, connected to a
Special Ops Training Base.The place was
crawling with CIA; DARPA; Air Force Blue
Berets and God only knows who all else.
These guys had some incredibly advanced
technology, like anti-gravity; cloaking devices;
anomalous airborne craft, otherwise known
as UFOs, all of which I witnessed at this
particular location, just as I remembered
the same scenario in other locations where
I had been utilized in these types of operations.
The
Vegas Report
New In this issue...
Lap dances illegal???? There goes
half of the Vegas economy!
Save the wild horses... They're starving
to death due to drought
More of 'The Prurient Interest'...
Things are getting out of control
Excerpt: Clinton is receiving a wildly enthusiastic
reception at the 14th International
AIDS conference in Barcelona, which he
is attending in the role of co-chair
of the International AIDS Trust, a nonprofit
that encourages policy makers
to invest in effective prevention and care
programs around the world.
The response stands in stark contrast to
the angry reaction U.S. Secretary
of State Tommy Thompson got Tuesday when
he was booed off the stage
by protesters upset about American domestic
and international policies on AIDS.
Comment: I thought Colin Powell was Secretary of State
They read it in Esch-sur-Alzette.
They read it in Shibîn el Kôm
They read it in St Paul, Minnesota
...bartcop.com
Bush's
Ghosts Won't Go Away Exonerated or not, the President can't easily shake off his past dealings as director of Harken Energy
Excerpt: There is no question that George W. Bush's
second-biggest job as President is to
restore faith in Corporate America and
make the stock market safe again for investors.
But as he wrestles with the demons that
bedevil Big Business, he finds himself haunted
by ghosts from the past.
BartCop, ...come to Vegas! BartCop, Vegas is calling you. BartCop, over 90 different tequilas
at the Hard Rock..... BartCop, ...BartCop...
Shopping
online? Use the portal below
and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickle and it costs you nothing
more than whatever you were going to pay.
The
Vegas Report
