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Quotes
"You know why the Enron investigation is dragging?
Lieberman's afraid
of what might come out of it. The Democrats
are totally afraid because
Ken Lay spent nights in the Lincoln
Bedroom when Clinton was president.
He's never been there when Bush was
president."
--Rush Limbaugh, lying his ass off for the one millionth
time this year.
White House records prove Lay stayed
in the Lincoln Bedroom under Bush, not Clinton.
The truth molester knows that, but he
knows how gullible his sheep are.
Hey, Rush, tell us again how Clinton had Randy Weaver murdered.
Crooked president bankrupts the whole planet
Additional doubts about US corporate behavior cause FTSE to fall
a further 2.5%,
while markets elsewhere continue to plummet. Markets tumbled
elsewhere,
with Frankfurt down 3.2% and Paris off 2.4%. In Asia, the
Nikkei 225 in Tokyo
had lost more than 2.5% to close below 10,000 for the first time
since February.
......
We're going
to buy what's left for a song,
just
like Daddy and Unka Dick planned.
Hillary says 2000 election example of Supreme Court gone awry
The 2000 presidential election case between
George W. Bush and Al Gore is an example
of a hypocritical Supreme Court majority
that broadens the rights of states only when it
serves conservative ends, Hillary said.
Clinton criticized the court's recent trend
of 5-4 cases that have favored state power over
federal control. The case that ended Florida
ballot recounts in the 2000 election was also
a 5-4 vote, but it stripped a state of
power to administer its own laws, the former first lady said.
"Perhaps even more disturbing than the court's
impulse to defend state and local prerogatives
is the selectivity of that impulse," Clinton
charged.
Go Hillary!
You've got my vote.
Quotes
"I know the human being and fish can
coexist peacefully."
-- President Einstein
Fuzzy
Math Revisited
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
Temporarily incapable of adding and subtracting whole numbers,
pundits affected
not to recognize Bush's bogus statistics. Few noticed that his
Social Security privatization
scheme counted almost a third of the system's revenues twice--once
to "invest" it in
private accounts, twice to pay seniors' benefits. Instead, they
focused upon Gore's
clothing, and made a big deal of his exasperated sighs at Bush's
absurd pronouncements.
Debut
For those considering going to BartFest in Las Vegas, there is
a posting board
to share information, car pooling, room sharing etc at The
BartCop Forum.
Look for "Events"
Soon, we'll have a private area for just those who are confirmed
going,
but this "Events"
will get us started.
Joe Conason's Journal
Pinocchio
in a miniskirt
Excerpt:
"Ann Coulter fans, and I use the term loosely,
must proceed immediately to the Daily Howler.
In this installment of his ongoing series
about her and her best-selling compilation of fabrications,
Bob Somerby provides further details of
the flagrant disregard for facts that has always made
Ann so special. As described in today’s
Howler, what appears on her book’s final page is either
a mistake that only a moron could make,
or a lie that only a madwoman would tell in public.
(I know because I re-checked Somerby’s
facts, which took me all of 30 seconds.)
To read this Howler item is like watching
Pinocchio hooked up to a polygraph."
Harvey Pitt Wants a Raise?
CEC
Chief Seeks Promotion and More Money
Excerpt:
Harvey L. Pitt, chairman of the SEC, recently
asked Congress for a raise
and a promotion, the New York Whore Times
reported on Wednesday.
Hell yes he deserves a raise.
As smoothly as the economy has been running, with honesty and
dignity,
we should reward this greedy bastard with a raise - and how
about a bonus?
How about some off-the-books stock options for Captain Greed?
Will the Democrats bend over for this, too?
Lucent
Technologies announced a $7.91 billion loss
for
the fiscal third quarter and 7,000 more layoffs
Just another day in Occupied America.
A little something to stoke that Vegas Fever
Vegas
Trip Report
(saw it on the alt.vacations.las-vegas newsgroup)
Excerpt:
In the Bellagio, sat down for a friendly
round of BJ before dinner. (He means
Blackjack)
Excellent dealer, great cocktail service,
and very good drinks.
Real Ketel One screwdrivers, strong, in
nice, heavy glasses.
What class!
At one point, I hit a couple of stiff hands,
decide to pull back a bit, when I suddenly see 2 hot chicks.
On a whim, I put on 2 betting units. Win.
Very next hand, have 2 sixes versus dealer 6. Split em up,
and draw a five on the first hand. Double,
draw another five to 16, stand. On the other six, draw an Ace
- soft 17. Double, draw another six to
13, stand. So now I have $100 on the table with two stiffs versus
the dealer's 6 (I'm betting $25 a hand.)
!
Dealer busts.
Moral of this story: hot chicks are good
luck.
What's this?
It's either the Nasdaq under The Unelected Fraud or it's a
chart of his chances of winning a fair election for the first
time.
They said he was hung - and they were right!
a MUST click
Rob
Lowe to exit 'West Wing'
Flees role in salary beef
ha ha
Who gets credit for these?
Who is Rich?
Quotes
The definition of conservative
is "I've got mine, so screw you."
-- Unknown
Twice
as bad as Hoover
from consortiumnews.com
Excerpt:
George W. Bush is shattering records for
the worst first 18 months in office
for a U.S. president as measured by the
benchmark Standard & Poor’s 500.
In his first year-and-a-half in the White
House, Bush presided over a 36.9
percent decline, almost twice the percentage
drop of Herbert Hoover,
the president who led the nation into the
Depression.
Clinton Says Republicans Blocked His Audit Reforms
Excerpt:
"Asked about President Bush's handling of the
economy and his attempts to rally investor confidence,
Mr. Clinton, who was touring the construction
site of his presidential library here, avoided criticizing his
successor directly. Instead, he chided
Republicans, who he said had blocked his administration's efforts to,
among other things, bar accounting firms
from working as auditors and consultants for the same companies.
"I'm sure that some of the people in Congress
that stopped a lot of the reforms I tried to put through
are probably rethinking that now," Mr.
Clinton told reporters."
Reminder: Joe Conason is daily now at Salon.com
Quotes
"I believe people have taken a step back and
asked, 'What's important in life?'
You know, the bottom line and this corporate
America stuff--is that important?
Or is serving your neighbor, loving
your neighbor like you'd like to be loved yourself?"
--President Moron, who spent
most of his adult life milking that "corporate America stuff"
We may be forced to endure 6 more years of never-elected,
so I think it's important to remember to have a good time.
Me? I have a good time every day, but I always have a great time
in Vegas.
Did you know Las Vegas means "tasty agave" in Spanish?
Southwest Airlines has $95 fares to Las Vegas
BartFest2002 - Party of the Year
Make your own hotel reservations.
Reminder: Las Vegas is NOT Hollywood Boulevard.
Update: I talked to Mary at the Pink Taco.
She says she'd love to have us taste test several new tequilas
she has.
I was hoping to have an announcement today, but I don't - yet.
Perhaps tomorrow's issue will have the great news I crave to
tell you.
Las Vegas is a gambling town, so we're kinda in this gamble together.
I expect to find out between 7-10 PM tonight, so if you're in
the chat room,
you might see the good/bad news moments after it happens.
September
28th - tickets
on sale!
People are coming from as far as Uranus to attend BartFest.
.
36. You meet the friendliest people in Nevada
Traditionally, the Army Rangers who guard Area 51 drive
white Cherokees.
This SUV looks like a big-ass silver Bronco, but you can bet
if you meet an Army Ranger,
he'll be very gentle and polite as he puts pressure on your
neck with his boot. You see, when
you get to the spot on the dirt road where it's time to stop,
you'll see a sign that says,
"We may shoot you without warning if
you cross this line."
Sometimes people get froggy and cross that line and when that
happens, far as I know,
they don't really shoot you, but these Rangers take you into
custody and they cuff you and
hog-tie you and "F" with you until you wet your pants. If you
give them any trouble, they kick
you around and put their boot on your head/neck until you become
compliant. So when you go
to BartFest,
if you choose to go to Area 51, do NOT get froggy and step over
the line
because if you do, these men will send you home with an arrest
record and a story of how badly
you were abused so the next guy doesn't try anything.
By the way, there's nothing at Area 51,
that's why it's the most heavily guarded chunk of desert in
the world.
You've read what people said about our first gathering.
We intend to top that in Sin City come September.
The
Rio will ask "How many?"
The party's on either way, but we have to know how big a room
to buy.
If we only get sixty people, maybe we'll rent ten limos &
party on the go!
Today's
Hot Bonus Issue
We put the extra-good stuff deep inside
You gotta read the Monkey Mail.
It's probably the stupidest ever.
Quotes
"I know how hard it is to put food on your
family."
-- and this guy has his finger on The Button?
You know why Bush has this clip on his hand?
(This is for real, he's been spotted twice with it)
It's to remind him not to mention bin Laden.
After soaring 50 approval points by swearing to get bin Laden "dead
or alive,"
he's broken that vow and he doesn't want to talk about it. And since
it doesn't
involve Clinton's zipper, the press will forgive a president for breaking
his vows.
Most "powerful" man? Yeah right!
click
Russian Experiences:
Life in the Former USSR
and Post-Soviet Russia
Click for Review
Click to order
Do they read bartcop.com
at the New York Times?
It's
Time for Augusta to Change
by Selena Roberts
Excerpt:
Somewhere, Hootie Johnson, the chairman
of Augusta National Golf Club,
must have been smiling when Tiger Woods
shrugged off the controversy,
saying there was nothing he could do about
club policy.
Of course, Woods has the power to do
plenty.
With one whisper of a boycott, biased
bylaws would vanish.
But such a commotion might disrupt his
groove.
Winning is too important to let advocacy
get in his way.
If Tiger Inc. had the human condition on
his radar,
he would not ignore Nike's history of treating
its
plant workers like third-class mail. .
If Tiger wanted to, he could issue this demand: "I
refuse to play another round
until every golf course and golf club
in America accepts blacks and women."
That's OK, NYT, take what you need...
Cheney, Halliburton and Your Tax Dollars At Work
Excerpt:
"The London Sunday Observer reported over the
weekend that during Cheney's tenure
as CEO at Halliburton, the company reaped
massive rewards in government contracts
and bank loans for foreign deals, including
one with a Russian firm currently under
investigation for Russian Mafia connections...The
Clinton White House and State Department
tried to veto the Russian deal. The Clinton
administration was concerned over intelligence
reports that Tyumen was controlled by a
holding conglomerate, the Alfa Group, which had
been investigated by Russian authorities
for alleged Mafia connections.
But, after intense lobbying by Halliburton,
the objections were ignored by House Republicans.
One of Halliburton's top lobbyists at the
time was David Gribben, who had been Cheney's
chief of staff during Cheney's days at
the Pentagon."
They are stealing billions of dollars, but since it's not Clinton,
there will be no serious investigations, no price to pay - nothing.
Burn, baby, burn
...
click
Quotes
"The U.S. military did, in fact, train bin
Laden in all the basic skills he might have
needed to pull off this attack. It's
common knowledge that our men in khaki also
trained Saddam Hussein, Manuel Noriega
and a host of other vile thugs behind
"blowback" attacks on us. And that the real
seat of oil-based terror is Saudi Arabia,
to which the Bushies pander and plead
on an hourly basis."
--Harvey Wasserman, It's a Conspiracy!, commondreams.org
While this is true, it should be pointed out that they did it under orders from Bush.
Is it wise to support bartcop.com?
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That's 54 cents a day. Is bartcop.com
worth 54 cents a day?
Click to subscribe for $17
a month.
Subject: GOLD you say??
Umm, Bart....
Don't the Bushes own the gold industry
too?
I remember reading something icky about
gold mines..
Take care,
Paula
Yes!
That's another way the B.F.E.E is making a profit on Bush's
depression.
The B.F.E.E is in bed with Barrick
Mining, the company alleged to have
buring a bunch of miners alive to teach the others that they
don't tolerate
work stoppages when thr B.F.E.E has money to be made.
They sued my good friend Greg Palast for telling the
truth about that.
They sued him in England where the truth is NOT a defense in
a libel trial.
better not get near the B.F.E.E with the truth - they'll
make you pay.
Barrick
Mining controls 51 percent of the world's gold
production.
A world-wide depression is just what the B.F.E.E needs.
If Tequilaboy in Oklahoma can see this, why can't the press?
Why can't the pink tutu Democrats see it?
Bart,
you're so negative!
You
see the glass as half empty.
Please
don't bother our president
with
these baseless accusations.
Dubya's
a good man, doing a great job.
Oh, I really need a drink...
They read it in Shijiazhuang, but they read it right-to-left
They read it in Maussane les Alpilles.
They read it in Altadena, CA, where they love the First Amendment.
...bartcop.com
Quotes
"When a big corporation goes under, those with
connections get tipped off long
before Joe Shmoe and his pet portfolio.
If a Bush loses liquidity, friends will come
running, checkbooks open, as they did
for George W. to pay for his string of failed
Texas investments. Besides, the family
trust fund is where the "real" money is kept."
--Robert Scheer, Expect
a war soon, latimes.com
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl
star of the BartFest soundtrack