Once more
through the list... Oil is
good wars is
good work is
good tax cuts
is good Spanish
are good Osama is
good No, Osama
is bad! Clinton
is bad negroes
are bad poor folks
are anti-capitalists a tree
is best cut. ...and
I can do whatever I want.
VCR Alert
- A Tuesday TV Event - Brooke
Burke's Wild Off at
The
Palms pool in Las Vegas.
click
Tuesday August 27,
2002....................................
..............................................
Quotes
“God is in control. I believe he will vindicate
me.” -- Amina Lawal Kurami,
the Nigerian woman sentenced to die
by stoning for giving birth outside her marriage
...Lady, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but...
Patriotic
veteran outraged by president, attorney general
Excerpt: For citizens of our nation, unacceptable
changes have taken place in the way
of life that everyone expected. Recent
events have changed our freedom of choice,
freedom of association, and freedoms of
thought and speech.
A candidate who didn't receive the majority
of the popular vote in was subsequently
appointed to the presidency by the Supreme
Court, thereby becoming our illegitimate president.
The choice of the voters of our country
was taken away by a partisan court in conjunction
with voter fraud and ballot counting. This
was only the beginning.
I
can only hope that I am a crackpot by Bob Reynolds
Excerpt: So when a friend of mine phoned me at a
Motel 6 in Idaho early on September 11 to ask if I had heard about the
two planes hitting the WTC, I told him
"I am not surprised" (my exact words) and I told him a few of the items
from the above list of 5 events. Then,
as I was pulling into a car wash about 15 minutes later the lady working
there
asked me if I had heard the news. I told
her "It is because of what Bush is doing to our country." She, of course, thought I was a crackpot.
I can only HOPE that I am a crackpot.
Quotes
“They were always talking to others on their
mobile phones. They apparently were receiving orders
from outside, perhaps Washington or Tel Aviv or London, or
perhaps the office of Rumsfeld.” -- Shamil
Mohammed, Iraqi diplomat in the Berlin embassy, voicing his beliefs
that the siege of the embassy by "Iraqi dissidents" were American-led.
Gee, I don't know - they look like simple Iraqi students to me...
Tonight's
'Wild Off'
I'm very excited about the Brooke Burke
Special tonight.
This is Brooke's last night as the host
of the E! Channel's Wild On, thus the name
It's called The Wild Off, because
they're going to find a replacement for Brooke
I'm so old, I remember when Jaguar.com had
the snappiest opening java thing.
I no longer think that.
(Hell, bettybowers.com
has been a monster for years - I should do this catagory more often)
But the current champ has to be BrookeBurke.com Brooke in a bikini in Vegas is tough to beat!
Click Here
if you wanna see how every broad's web site outta look.
(Doing that Ackroyd character
who talked about "Titian" on SNL.)
Seriously, it's done very well, and in very good taste.
So, they're going to "find a replacement" for Brooke Burke?
ha ha
Sure they are.
And as soon as they're finished, ...they're
going to find a replacement for
Elvis, Bill Clinton, Krispy Kreme, WC Fields,
Coke, Apple Pie and Jimi Hendrix.
Tonight on E!, right after Anna Nicole's
mess of a show
Wait, I'll bet Henry is a "Christian" so that means he's "forgiven."
right?
Quotes
"I believe the enemy has wakened a spirit in
this country that understands in order to fight evil, in order to
fight evil -- that in order to fight evil, you can do so by loving your neighbor
just like you'd like to be loved yourself." -- Waaaay too
stupid to run the shake machine at Burger King
by The Pieman
How
does LA feel about the Unelected Fraud?
...looks like they feel the same way as Stockton and Portland.
Thanks to Debra R
Random
Las Vegas story
In 1983, we took our first big trip. We drove our new Grand Prix
to Texas, New Mexico, Colorado,
Utah, Nevada, LA, (where we saw Richard Pryor) San Fransisco,
then back to LA, then Arizona,
New Mexico, Texas and then back home. It was a busy weekend.
As we left Grand Junction, Colorado and headed southwest, we were
amazed at seeing the mountains
of red rocks for hundreds of miles. We drove and drove. As we
closed in on the Nevada border, we stopped
at Bryce Canyon and were blown away by its beauty and the cold
winds. It was starting to get dark and we
still had 4 hours to our next stop, which was Vegas.
About a hundred miles from Las Vegas, we saw a giant pink cloud
in the sky, far away. Since it was very dark,
I composed a list of possible explanations for the giant pink
cloud in the sky. Ruling out nighttime nuclear testing,
(but we were in the right place for it, if that's what it turned
out to be...) I finally deduced that the giant pink cloud
could only be Las Vegas in the cold, dead desert. We continued
to drive and drive. Las Vegas 80 miles,
Las Vegas 60 miles, Las Vegas 40 miles, Las
Vegas is only 20 miles away.
Finally, we topped the last mountain and it was the most amazing
thing I'd ever seen:
The entire valley came into view, and the dark desert night suddenly
had a billion lights.
In the center of the billion lights, a little to the left, there
was a higher concentration of lights.
I saw The Strip at night - for the first time.
Dick
Cheney's Desperation
click
Quotes
"I think work is incredibly important.
Work leads to dignity." -- Oil for brains
never worked a day in his life, not even as president
Free stickers for all subscribers and BartFest ticket holders or with any donation to bartcop.com
Send in your sticker pictures.
Free ticket to BartFest for best real sticker picture.
and
Free ticket to BartFest for best sticker graphic.
Lock the doors and bar the windows, it's The
Joey Joe Joe Show,
Click Here
Then click on "The Joey Joe Joe
Show" on the middle right.
Show #5 has special guest Faun Otter!
Liberal radio, archived so you can hear it at your convenience,
run by
our very own Joe Vecchio from the BartCop
MIRC chat room.
Maybe they'll let me on their show since
I gave them this plug?
DNA
tests free man for rape, murder after 17 years
Whenever a story like this comes out, the Bush people (and others
who live to execute people)
always say, "No innocent man has ever
been put to death," but how would we know that?
What state is going to spend the time and money to DNA test a
man the killed?
I watched my tape of ESPN's
"25 Years of Great Sports Clips" and was disappointed.
Koresh, I have hundreds of hours of great sports tapes.
I was hoping ESPN's collection would be better than mine.
Nope.
They didn't even mention the night, while not being the greatest
sports moment per se, it certainly wins
the Ed Murrow Award for "Best Sports
Broadcasting Moment."
The night Cal Ripken broke the Iron Man record, (How do you spell
Lou Geghrig?)
Take away the magical sports moments themselves, the greatest
moment in sports coverage was Chris Berman, watching Cal Ripken take his victory lap around
the field, ...and it was priceless!
Don't get me wrong - I LIKE Chris Berman, but I didn't love
him until he bit his tongue that night.
Bob Costas would've been squawking a hundred words a second,
"explaning" what we were seeing.
...but Berman knew to shut the hell up.
Shot of Chinaco to Chris Berman and his classy understatement.
Chris, if you want, ...I'll speak at your funeral.
What they're promising: 5 Nights/6 Days
• Roundtrip Air • Rental Car
• Hotel • $500 Value Fun Book
Five nights for $600? Might be worth a click.
Quotes
"I am familiar with the arguments against taking
action in the case of Saddam Hussein. Some concede that Saddam is evil,
power hungry and a menace, but that until he crosses the threshold of actually possessing
nuclear weapons we should rule out any preemptive action. That logic seems to me to be deeply
flawed. The argument comes down to this: 'Yes, Saddam is as dangerous as we say he is, we just
need to let him get stronger before we do anything about it,"' -- Unka Dick, who "had other things to do" when he was
drafted
But Dick, you guys can't handle Osama or the Anthrax killer.
What makes you think you can handle a whole country?
And when you can't find Saddam - then what?
You attack North Korea, because they getting stronger every day?
Woo Hoo!
Luke Perry gets despondent if the new issue of
bartcop.com isn't posted by noon LA time.
Excerpt: "Round up the usual suspects! George W.
Bush's new "Healthy Forests" plan reads like a parody
of his administration's standard operating
procedure. You see, environmentalists cause forest fires,
and those nice corporations will solve
the problem if we get out of their way."
Donate
to bartcop.com?
Click to become a Corona volunteer for $10
a month
Benefits
We've got to build a bigger hammer.
The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.
Excerpt: In Orwell’s book, if anyone questioned
Napoleon, the lead pig on the farm, “the sheep were sure to silence him
with a tremendous bleating of 'Four
legs good, two legs bad!’” The bleating would continue until
all questions
were forgotten or dissenters were too intimidated
to raise them again. Similarly, the citizens in the auditorium
who dared question the sanity of AWOL Bush’s
disastrous plans to invade Iraq were drowned out by the
GOP sheep obediently bleating “USA!
USA! USA!”
We haven't done one of these in a while.
As you know, I'm at a disadvantage in that I never see any audience
reaction.
and tell me what I'm doing
wrong.
"Bart, I mostly love the page, but I
hate it when you......."
and tell me what I'm doing
right.
"Bart, your page rocks, especially when
you.........."
Subject: State of the nation
As the anniversary of 9-11 approaches, Americans
and ditto-heads alike are converging
to reflect upon the tragedy and its consequences.
So let's review the state of the nation:
Bin Laden is still at large
The anthrax killer is also still at large
Halliburton and Carlyle are still making money
from war
Saudi Arabia is still an evil influence
Ashcroft is still shredding the constitution
Bush the lesser is still an idiot
The Clintons are still being slandered
Gore is still being demonized
The economy is still going south
The religious right are still insane
Cancer and AIDS patients are still being criminalized
Corporate criminals are still getting off
Health insurance is still grossly expensive
Drug companies are still raping the elderly and
disabled
Star Wars is still a Bad Idea
Mother Nature is still NOT HAPPY
Right wing shills still claim to be patriots
Mass media is still supine
Everything has changed, right?
Best,
Jeff Tatum
BartFest2002
- Party at the Rio
Make your own hotel reservations.
BartFest tickets will be available until the night of the party.
Update
-
Vegas Fever is getting hotter
every day.
I had an idea: This isn't an offer or a proposal,
this is an idea.
One of the best visuals you'll ever have is your first trip down
The
Strip at night. I know a lot of you
will be in town a day early, so what we could do is meet, say
at the Hard Rock Friday night, just before
sunset and enjoy a meal, a shot of fine tequila or a few cocktails.
Then, when it's good & dark, we all pile
into a van or a bus (we're checking prices) and have Cubby show
us The Strip and downtown.
I think even the non-drinkers would would get a big kick out of
it.
You could play the slots or get a bite to eat and join us at
busloading time.
One thing to keep in mind, especially if you're just there for
the weekend, is time management. You should make a list of what you MUST see, because you'd hate
to miss a lot because you got
distracted and let time get away from you. I would think
your MUST-sees would include The Venetian, The Bellagio, New York, New York, Mandalay Bay and maybe
Paris. Figure on seeing the interiors during the day, the nights will
take care of themselves.
So this is a possible for Friday night. Other possibles
include a trip to
Area 51, but it's 2 hours each way,
so that'll eat into an evening. I recommend getting there
just before dark, because they don't have signs or anything.
(Reminder: It's legal to go up to the sign, just don't
go past it.)
You'll need the light to find the secret dirt road. Once you're
there, you wait for it to get completely dark.
After you see the flying saucers, it's another 2 hours back,
but the good news is, Las Vegas never sleeps.
But Bart, what if you have car trouble in the desert?
No problem.
Whatever vehicle you take into the desert, they can tow.
Check The
Rio web site. Click on "Hot Deals,"and get a luxury suite for $139
on Fri/Sat and $59
Sun-Thurs.
.
In less than 5 weeks ...isn't
it exciting? (Oh, God, please don't let me lose my ass
on this!)
If you're thinking you'll pass on thisFest
and make the next one, ...that may be a mistake.
Besides, if you don't come, the terrorists win, and we can't
have that.
Click
Here to see Bart's 48 (so far) things to do in Vegas.
Click
Here to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas
Talk to me!
Special bartcop.com
Exclusive
Casino
Gambling: The Absolute Minimum A primer on how to not lose your ass gambling at
the casinos
by George
Backus
and tell me what I'm doing
wrong.
