Rated "X" for extra-truthful! May be too truthful for some Republicans. Written in Oklahoma Territories ...where they stop at green lights. POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
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Quotes
"Bush's itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny tax cut didn't
cause this recession,
it was caused by the massive overspending
by this crazy congress."
...and by the way, there is no recession!"
-- the vulgar Pigboy
But Rush, since Bush hasn't used a veto, that means he signed
each of those bills.
That means all that money was spent with his written permission.
Why don't you tell the truth, Rush?
So how do you spin your way out and claim the Democrats made him
do it?
That stupid excuse didn't work for Reagan, and it won't work
for Pres. Pinhead.
Jeb the Hypocrite
Demands
Jail time for Non-violent Drug Offenders
But his daughter goes to rehab where the state protects her
by Arianna Huffington, Salon,
September 16, 2002
Click
Here
Excerpt:
While Noelle has been given every break
in the book -- and then some -- her father has
made it harder for others in her position
to get the help they need by cutting the budgets
of drug treatment and drug court programs
in his state. He has also actively opposed a
proposed ballot initiative that would send
an estimated 10,000 nonviolent drug offenders
into treatment instead of jail. I guess
what's good for the goose gets the gander locked away.
Rednecks
vs. Ragheads:
Another Phony Terrorist Alert
by Al Martin
Excerpt:
The latest phony terrorist "incident" bespeaks
volumes about both the United States and the
so-called "War on Terrorism." The incident
on Friday September 13th began when three young
men of apparently Middle Eastern extraction
stopped for breakfast at a coffee shop in Georgia.
The waitress waited on these guys and after
they left, she immediately called the police and told them
that she "heard these A-Rabs and they wuz
talkin' about Ex-Plosives." Then she added that she
couldn't understand them because "they
wuz A-Rabs." In this environment, you can imagine where it went.
Quotes
"His ignorance covers the whole earth
like a blanket,
and there is hardly a hole in
it anywhere."
-- Mark Twain, who died
before Bunnypants was even born.
How did he know?
Subject: Settling Admits Guilt?
You wrote:
> Why do you think Jeb settled that 2000 lawsuit
with the NAACP?
> He settled to avoid a trial where the
truth might leak out.
> By settling, he admitted guilt, but to
what?
Does this mean that when Clinton settled
with Paula Jones he admitted guilt too?
No.
Paula Jones was entirely fabricated, with not the slightest bit
of evidence.
(Her only witness said she asked to be Clinton's regular whore.)
Jeb had thousands of witnesses against him (disenfranchised
voters) who were
going to tell their stories and cost Jeb votes and prove the
Pinhead wasn't elected.
Jeb also doesn't have a hundred-million dollar "Florida Project"
out to smear him.
His crimes were witnessed by millions of Americans.
Add to that, Paula's wild claims built entire cable channels and
networks.
It was the most discussed and investigated "crime" in history.
But can you even do five minutes on Jeb's crimes? No, because
his press coverage
only lasted a day and then disappeared, thanks to Bush's good
puppy press.
After all, stealing the presidency isn't as serious as Clinton's
zipper.
It's not the same.
Listen
to Noelle Bush's 911 call
(Quick and easy download)
Excerpt:
"Every time she gets caught she gets out of it
because she's the governor's daughter."
Click for great deals!
Subject: Guess who said it
"Everybody says I seek war, but I must be conscious of my responsibilities.
The menace to our country is such that it cannot be ignored.
There is ample proof of the aims of our enemy, and I thank
God Almighty
for giving me the strength and the knowledge to do what must
be done."
This would have to be Hitler.
Bush says the same things, just not coherently.
MG
Correct on both counts.
I thought that reference to God might fool somebody, but then
again,
the worst scumbags of all time have all used God to rape, murder
and steal oil.
Subject: Duped
Hey Bart,
I just wanted to say that I love the site.
When I first found the site (about a year ago)
I would just breeze through to look at
the comics and photos. Now I love reading your
bitter sweet remarks. They just crack me
up. I don't always agree with you, but at least
we both agree on one thing: Bush
is an evil little oil whore.
Furthermore, your site is one of the few
that has the balls to speak out. I sometimes feel like
Winston from the book 1984. All alone surrounded
be a bunch of servile, sheepish drones that
are afraid to speak out. It is refreshing
to read your site and know not everyone is falling for the lies.
Peace
Nazis in the CIA closet:
The
Origins of Fascism in the United States
by Christian Dewar
Excerpt:
George W. Bush says that the terrorists
envy and hate this country because we are
a freedom loving democracy. Simplistic,
disingenuous and inane as an explanation,
those who do try to answer the question,
'Why do they hate us?' are criticized as unpatriotic.
They are accused of 'Blaming America First'.
Subject: bush in the guard in by-God-Alabama
Bart, you know lots of vets have a $5,000
reward for anyone who
saw Bush on duty (flying old jets) in the
state of Alabama......?
NOOOOO body has collected yet???!!!!
Keep up the good work, we need you.
YOU are the one ON LOAN from GODDDDD!!
Cajunjo
Cajunjo,
Whoever made that bet knows they can't lose.
Was Bush 'with' God ' or against' Him on 9/11?'
Excerpt:
There were at least 8 measures Bush could
have taken to help
prevent such a hijacking after he was warned
by the CIA:
(1) Canvassing flight schools for suspicious
students present and past;
(2) Conducting a nationwide manhunt for
the two known terrorists who were already in the country;
(3) Double-checking passenger lists against
terrorist suspects;
(4) Upgrading airport passenger screening;
(5) Hardening cockpit doors;
(6) Putting air marshals on more flights;
(7) Giving pilots stun guns; and,
(8) Patrolling the skies with fighter jets.
But Bush instead chose to remain on vacation.
Thanks to his good puppy press, Americans are PROUD of Bush's
handling of this.
And what do the Democrats say?
"Please
don't fight!
We
all enjoy vacations, don't we?
You're
all just like Bart, making
trouble
for our nice president.
That's
mean! Shame, shame!"
click
With summer behind us, it's once again safe
to order the South's Finest Chocolate
Murder
for Profit
by William Rivers Pitt
Click
Here
Excerpt:
George W. Bush has allowed, and will continue
to allow, a course for war to be charted
in order to save his party at the polls
in November. At the same time, he has given free rein
to the neo-con hawks in his administration
to begin a process of total war in the Middle East
in order to secure petroleum profits for
the foreseeable future.
I know
what I'm doing...
Excerpt:
Don't blame the poll workers in Florida.
The facts, supported by voting machine experts
and numerous newspaper articles, have made
it clear. Computerized voting machines that
were certified by the state of Florida,
caused most of the problems in Florida's primary election.
In the absence of paper ballots, the damage
is now irreversible.
This was no accident. It's not new. And
Florida is not alone.
Subject: thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
Dear Bart -
You continue to make my day EVERYDAY!
Please NEVER change - the spirit of Black
Bart lives!!!
Karen
Koresh help me, I can't change...
Some nice Democrats in show biz have agreed to produce some radio
spots for bartcop.com
They say they need demographics to do it right, so I agreed to
post this survey URL.
If you could click on here and take this two-minute survey,
they say it'll help steer the ad towards people who'd most likely
listen.
Thanks
Guess who said it
"What has he accomplished?
That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?
Who said it? Who is it about?
1. Tip O'Neil
1. George W. Bush
2. Tom Daschle
2. John Ashcroft
3. Ron Reagan Jr.
3. Asa Hutchinson
So, who said that?
From: JCurrier@jokeaday.net
Subject: You're a liar!
I realize this won't end up on your webpage, because you're a liar, and a scam, but I thought I'd pick this out:
You wrote:
> "Bill Clinton is hated by the majority of military
men, fucking hated, and he has an
> eight-year record of never sending
a man into battle who didn't come home."
In Somalia, 29 US Soldiers gave their lives
because Clinton had his thumb up his ass.
Or, haven't you ever heard of the movie
'Black Hawk Down'?
You can paint it anyway you like, idiot,
but the Oct. 3rd, 1993 happen on Clinton's watch,
and while Clinton was in command.
You sir, are a liar.
John Currier
John, a famous Nazi one said, "Words
mean things."
I suggest you become more familiar with the English language.
Clinton didn't send those men to Somalia, that idiot Bush
did,
and Bush failed to anticipate the protection those brave men
might need.
Clinton was waaaaay too smart to get into a trap like that Bush
idiot.
...and it was Colin Powell who refused to send APC because it
would
take months for those ships to arrive and there wasn't time.
John, one last thing: How do you feel about the 241
marines who died in1983 when Reagan wanted
them housed where a truck bomb could kill them, instead of on
our ships where they'd be safe?
You OK with that?
Thanks for being our joke of the day,
and thanks for reading bartcop.com
Today in History
On Sept. 17, 1787 - The Constitution
of the United States was completed and signed
by a majority of delegates attending the
constitutional convention in Philadelphia.
On December 11, 2000 the Constitution was rescinded by a five
thugs on the whore court.
In 1862, Union forces hurled back
a Confederate invasion of Maryland in the Civil War Battle of Antietam.
In 1994, Confederate forces re-took the Capitol.
In 1992, Special prosecutor Lawrence
Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-Contra scandal
...because President Bush pardoned everybody to bury proof of
the crimes of the B.F.E.E. forever.
In 2002, Gov Bush refused to release Reagan's papers because
proof of guilt was contained therein.
In 2001, Governor Bush ( R-Stupid) said Osama bin Laden
was wanted "dead or alive."
Later, when he failed to find the man responsible
for September 11th, he said
"Nevermind, he's not important. He doesn't
concern me at all."
From: Bob Katz
Subject: Is your website to be taken seriously?
It's primarily a humor site, but we get serious sometimes, too.
I looked over your site today for the first
time and I can not believe the liberal slant of it.
There are more lies and innuendoes than
could ever be believed.
Cool! Do you have time to point a few of them out?
For example, you seem to think everything
the Bushes have done is to make money and for oil reasons.
I've got news for you that they couldn't
give a shit about the oil or money.
They care about the country and its future.
ha ha
Bush paid over $200 million to run a crooked campaign calling
McCain a traitor, then calling
Gore a serial liar, then stole the White House because he deeply
cares about America's future?
Boy, Rush has done well with you.
You're funnier than I, my friend.
That's better than the Clintons who you
seem to love for some damn reason. Those bastards do
everything for money. They did a
horseshit job and have put our country in deep jeopardy.
Only Bush can get us the hell out of the
predicament Clinton put us in selling secrets to our enemies.
What part of peace and prosperity disgusts you the most?
Why do you prefer Bush's war, deficits and recession to Clinton's
peace, surpluses and paradise?
By the way, when Bush gave that super spy plane to red China,
did you applaud?
When Bush got on his knees and begged China to forgive us, did
you applaud that, too?
How about wehen Bush got on his knees and said he was "very,
very sorry?"
Were you proud of Bush on those days?
All that dipshit Clinton cared about was pussy and money and applause.
Objection! Assumed "facts" not in evidence.
His whole eight years was just a big fundraising
campaign and pussy hunt.
President Pinhead has broken all of Clinton's fundraising records.
Have you seen the gorgeous blonde he's dating now?
No, do you have a picture?
Is she as pretty as Guiliani's gumma?
The one he took to f-ing church?
I think Rudy should've won Opie & Anthony's
sex contest - takling his whore to church!
Hillary doesn't care because she has her
lesbian friends to comfort her.
Bob Katz
ha ha
The Clinton's sex life is the Holy Grail to you guys.
Hillary's sex life is is your Arc of the Covenant.
No wonder you're in a bad mood - your Tales of Clinton's Cock
have fallen to near zero.
Maybe you could hook up with JCurrier@jokeaday.net
He hates the best president America ever had, too
Could you be a regular contributor?
I could use a ditto-monkey on the team.
Maybe you could convince some of your Simian pals, as well?
Thanks for reading bartcop.com
Gillian
Anderson says...
"I'd rather
be taken by the Swamp Thing
than miss
my daily bartcop.com"
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Woo Hoo!
Subject: George W. Bush is NOT A QUITTER!
QUIT?!
What kind of talk is that?!
It's unAmerican!
Did George W. Bush quit even after losing the
popular vote?
NO!
Did he quit after losing millions of dollars of
his fathers' friends money in failed oil companies?
NO!
Did he quit after knocking that 15 year old girl
up?
NO!
Did he quit after he got that DUI?
NO!
Did he quit after getting arrested for drunk and
disorderly conduct at a football game?
NO!
Did he quit after being a military deserter from
the Air National Guard for 18 months?
They coulda strung him up in a noose!!
NO!
The Family Guy
What does
Lou Diamond Phillips think of BartCop?
He thinks
you should read it every day.
Thanks to Regan Copple, friend to the stars.
Regan gets free Chinaco at Party
of the Year
Click Here to see the BartFest Webcam. It's GREAT at night!
Update:
We expect to send out tickets in the next few days. At one point
we thought about just
assigning everyone a number, but we got some feedback that some
people wanted to keep
their ticket as a souvenier, so we're planning to send out some
extra-cool tickets any day now.
The
latest plan is to meet Friday at the Hard Rock's
"Pink Taco" for some pre-bus agave.
(For non-drinkers, there's food, gambling, shopping, Shania Twain's
lil dress etc)
We'll board the bus just after dark (approx 7:15) and cruise
for about an hour, maybe longer.
Post-bus ride is open to suggestions. The bus will dump us back
at the Hard Rock.
The
Saturday plan: The Party of the Year
will run from 7-10 PM.
Most of you have opted for the $38 all the premium liquor
you can drink, so you'll have to
make them lose money inside that three-hour window, so pace yourselves
accordingly :)
Adding to the fun - we don't have a room number to give
you. We're going to get advice
from The Rio on how to direct you, but checking with the desk
is
our Failsafe Manuever.
Hopefully we'll have an update on that soon.
The pool area at The Rio
Click
Here for
the latest BartFest
update.
Shopping
online?
Use the portal below
and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl
Heard at BartFest
