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Quotes
"You see, the Senate wants to take away some
of the powers of the administrative branch."
--Dubya, White House, 9/19, introducing the fourth branch of the federal
government.
He is soooo stupid.
He has no mental skills, whatsoever.
He's Cheney's stooge, and sometimes he talks off-script.
Tide
of scandal laps closer to Cheney's feet
by Paul Krugman
Excerpt:
"Cheney supposedly chose Thomas White for his
business expertise. But when it became
apparent that the Enron division he ran
was a money-losing fraud, the story changed.
We were told that White was an amiable
guy who had no idea what was actually going on,
that his colleagues referred to him behind
his back as "Mr. Magoo."
Just the man to run the Army in a two-front Middle Eastern war, right?...
Oiling
the Wheels of War
from The Nation
Excerpt:
This could prove to be the biggest oil
grab in modern history, providing hundreds of billions of
dollars to US oil firms--many linked to
senior officials in the Bush Administration--and helping to
avert a future energy crunch in the United
States. But is oil worth spilling the blood of American
soldiers and Iraqi civilians who get caught
in the way? This is the question Congress must ask
if we are to have an honest debate on the
merits of invading Iraq.
Quotes
“I have not seen such executive arrogance and
secrecy since
the Nixon administration, and we all
know what happened to that group."
-- Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va
Subject: Perkel's Declaration
Bart,
Perkel's Declaration is so good, that I figure
the feds will go after him any day now for
treason or something. They'll squirrel
him away in the Secret John Ashcroft Federal Re-education
and Torture Camp until all he can write is the
pledge of allegiance over and over again.
Reminder: Ashcroft knows Perkel. Marc ran against him in MOs GOP primary last election.
By the way, you're still way hot and cool.
Rolling Stone is a fashion mag now, you're too hip
to be in that rag. It lost its soul and jumped
the shark about 15 years ago.
Sanda
p.s. I'm obviously still reading the site
in spite of our disagreement about what constitutes sexism.
I can't help it, you're too funny and honest
for me to stop reading, even if I want to give you some
opposition sometimes. You and MWO
still rule and are my daily bread.
Sanda, I'd enjoy a friendly debate on the subject of sexism. When men
stop appreciating women
the planet will no longer spin and then who would Smirky sell his precious
oil to?
I
Challenge You
Excerpt:
For years, you have been sending out challenges
for a dittomonkey to debate you on a host of
liberal/progressive issues...but now, I
see that you are in great need of getting your ass kicked
So now, at long last, I have had enough.
I never thought that I would say this, but,
BARTCOP, THY NAME IS WHORE.
Quotes
"...the reason that the Bush administration
tried to stop this independent commission,
tried to stop the Senate investigation
is because there's a lot of embarrassing information
about the derelictions that they committed
before 9/11. They had eight or nine months, you know.
And that's the problem that they're
looking at. Now they know it's inevitable that this legislation is
going to pass; they are saying, OK,
because Richard Shelby, the ranking Republican on the Senate
Intelligence Committee, has said it
is going to pass. John McCain wants it to pass. The Republicans
are with the Democrats, because they
know there are a lot of problems here."
--Joe Conason, Crossfire, 09/20/02
Every Democrat should be reminding people that Team Bush knew
something BIG was going to happen
and the unelected idiot went on another month-long vacation.
Bush is treating the presidency like every other "job" he's ever
been given.
He stole a job he doesn't won't even show up for.
Bush's war plans are a cover-up, Byrd says
Excerpt:
"This administration, all of a sudden, wants
to go to war with Iraq," Byrd said.
"The political polls are dropping, the domestic
situation has problems....
So all of a sudden we have this war talk,
war fervor, the bugles of war, drums of war, clouds of war.
"Don't tell me that things suddenly went wrong.
Back in August, the president had no plans....
Then all of a sudden this country is going
to war," Byrd told the Senate on Friday.
“Nothing would please this president more than
having such a blank check handed to him.”
We can't give this gang of thugs a blank check.
Subject: Step back for a moment...
If you step back from all the news stories
you satrize, critisize
or are appalled at, would you agree that
this is the big picture:
1. The USA has become the client state of
trans-national corporations.
2. The Democrats differ from the Republicans
only in the completeness
of their integration into
the corporate agenda.
3. The goal of the corporations is profit
maximization without regard to
the health, welfare
prosperity or peace of the world's population.
4. The USA should look at Russia and Argentina
as its future, becoming
a labor camp for the
corporate interestes controlling the World Bank and IMF.
5. The people have no idea this coup has
happened because these same
corporations own all
public communication outlets.
If you agree with this state of affairs, what is your best recommendation for action?
Scott
Vote for Ralph Nader?
ha ha
Sorry, ...couldn't, ...that was mean.
Swear to Koresh, the best action I can think of would be for
everyone to send
in enough money to enable us to put some of my saner ideas on
a bigger stage.
For instance we could put up a billboard in Washington DC that
said,
"Why do Democrats cash their paychecks
if they're just going
to act like rubber stamps for
the Unelected Fraud?"
I would be great to have enough power to demand an answer to that question.
Number One was is mostly true,
Number Two is what gave you away as a Nadirite.
(Would you care for a polite, live chat, sometime?)
Number Three is truer than grass is green.
Number Four is a wild stab with no foundation.
(We aren't Russia, and we aren't Argentina)
Number Five is as true as Number Three.
The Weekend in Sports
The Cards won theor division, that's good.
Altanta will outscore them 106-12 in the playoffs, that's bad.
Texas beat Houston, staying undeafted for their Oklahoma ass-kicking.
Joe Paterno won again - go Joe! Florida fed it to
Tennessee.
Ohio State squeaked and God sure likes Notre Dame this year.
Kansas State beat up Fleetwood Mac.
The Rams don't lose until tonight...
...but the most important thing is Dallas lost by 30!
That made it a good weekend.
ABC is Asking us to Trust Them
Watchdog:
Campaign Inaccuracies
Help Us Help You!
Excerpt:
ABCNEWS announces an unprecedented effort
to truth-squad political communication in 2002.
Gather up your election mail; take notes
about the campaign-related phone calls you get;
send in your tips and credible accounts,
and we'll go through them.
To submit material to our little truth corps,
just e-mail us: politicalunit@abcnews.com
So, the network that hired:
Cokie Roberts, the stupidest prostitute in Washington,
Call me "Cokie!"
...George Will, who has been certified as more stupid than Chippy the Chimp,
..
and Judas (Steffie) Maximus is asking us to trust them?
ha ha
But, maybe Mickey Mouse wants to come clean?
Maybe we should test them and see how they do?
Quotes
"... Democrats have completely rolled
over out of cowardice.
Whether they like it or not, they are
all going to sign this resolution.
They are afraid to stand up for what
they may or may not believe in.
It is a disservice to the country."
--Tucker Carlson, Crossfire, 09/20/02
...it's always confusing when a Republican tells the truth.
...so this monkey writes me a snippy e-mail.
When I answered his e-mail on the 17th, I was very nice:
> Bob, good one, will print today.
> Thanks for reading bartcop.com
Then, his thoughtful response:
Bartcop,
You really are a putz. A royal
jackass.
You say you will print it and you don't.
I'm right, you lie all the time and
BS everybody in your web site.
Liberals just can't help lying.
It is in the nature of Socialists and
Communists
to lie because you can not support the
truth.
You live in a dreamworld.
Bartcopfantasyland!
Bob Katz
Dear Monkey Boy,
Your previous red-faced episode was published in Volume
893 - Abnormals Anonymous
And you know what day that was?
The 17th, the day I told you it would run.
You know why you couldn't find it?
You couldn't find it because God gave you the brain of a monkey.
It's in the nature of monkeys to have defective brains.
You poor bastard.
bart,
True story: I was driving in town
earlier this week, when I experienced a strange and enlightening
experience. You see, I have a small sign
in the back window of my car that says "Vote Democrat."
Out of nowhere, a guy starts tailgating
me and gesturing wildly. When I stopped at a traffic signal, he
pulled even with me on the right and angrily
thrust his middle finger up and out toward me.
Then he screeched away, and I saw that he had a bumper sticker saying, "Rush Was Right."
Bart, have I discovered the secret signal
of the ditto-monkeys?
Is this a demonstration of "talent on loan
from God?"
I certainly felt flattered to have been
singled out for recognition.
Larry
Larry, you are one courageous Dude!
In Jokelahoma, you would've even have a car with a bumper sticker
like that.
The Christian would just key your hood while the true DMs would
set your car on fire.
Things must be different in Oceanside.
...but
you got a girl pregnant in 1971
...she
was only 15, George.
How did
you handle that problem?
Busy weekend at BartCop Manor
I'm going thru a bunch of e-mails, and I've decided to get my
penis enlarged and get my breasts done
the way men like them. I'm going to buy one of those miniature
cameras, then I'm sending some money
to Zimbabwe to help the son of the former foreign minister get
his $30M over here, then I'm searching
for a good rate on a mortgage, then I'm going to send along a
chain letter so I don't die, then I'm gonna
speed up my Windows with some fancy-ass new program, then I'm
gonna gamble at some on-line casino
that always pays out, and if I drink enough Chinaco,
I might even Conheça o meio mais ágil, econômico
e moderno de divulgar sua empresa, claim some cash from
"Accounts Payable," then re-refinance that
new mortgage I just took out, hire a detective to follow my lover
and see what she's really up to, then score
some St Johns Wort and Viagra online, then learn how to get in
on sheriff real estate foreclosures,
then have my penis extended and figure a way to make money on
my computer in my spare time.
...and I still had time to get an issue put together.
Bumper Sticker
Jesus loves Jeb Bush.
Everyone else thinks he's an asshole.
Thanks to vcz
I wonder of Jeb is jealous that Daddy always buys Dubya better
toys?
First Dubya got a baseball team, and all Jeb got was a piece
of Enron.
Then Duyba got Texas, and Jeb had to settle for Florida.
Now Dubya gets America, and Jeb's still stuck in Florida.
...and Jeb can name all the states!!!
The AWOL-DESERTER thing should be interpreted as follows:
Thirty days or less and you are guilty of AWOL.
More than thirty days and you are a deserter!!!! No ifs, ands or buts. (one exception is listed later on)
If you are gone for less than thirty days and
they have proof that you have no intention to return then
you are guilty of desertion!!! Even if
you are gone for only one day.
During the early days of the campaign when bush
was calling McCain a coward, the military sentenced a boy
to five years jail for desertion. He had
been gone one day (only) but I guess they had witnesses that
said he intended to stay away. So they
do uphold the rules. (IF YOU ARE POOR OR YOUR DADDY
WASN'T THE HEAD OF THE CIA.)
Now, when I went through indoctrination, the instructor
told us that even if you are gone for more than thirty days,
if when they find you, you are heading in the
direction of your assigned base, then you MIGHT possibly get your
charge downgraded to AWOL. But if you are
found while traveling away from the base then you have no chance
at AWOL, you will be charged with desertion.
The deserter's old man didn't use any legal means
to get the honorable discharge. What he did was out and
out criminal. If we are at war now then
we damn sure were at war then and the deserter should have been
executed and his old man should have been thrown
in jail.
You cut him way too much slack on this one. They are both, at the very least, prisonable.
I hope you get to read this and then reassess
your interpretation of the rules. I'm so sick of this child molesting
bastard getting the clean end of every stick
that he manages to foul up. (I know that's poor grammar, but I'm
so pissed I can't see straight)
later
Jim
Russert's
new look on Meet the Press...
Thanks to GG
Woo Hoo!
Subject: Thank you
Thank you for a true voice
of REASON in a vast sea of wrong wing rhetoric.
I found your site while researching dubyas
military record, and wondering why the
so called Liberal Left Leaning ( from here
on know as LLL ) media has chosen to
overlook his absence from the last 2 years
of his 6 year Air National Guard obligation!
With 75% of the media controlled
by Republicans it's obvious why most Americans
think this IDIOT is doing a great job.
The LLL is stocked to the brim with mindless spin
doctors of the likes you mentioned.
Keep Up The Good Work!
Scared for my Childen,
Scott in SJ
Who said it?
"They shouldn't have did this.
They wasn't supposed to do this,
and it shouldn't have been
done."
The Dink in the White House
Maddie Toogood
John Fund
..
"Hi,
I beat women
...got any?"
Republicans
Are Serial Murderers!
by Rackjite
Excerpt:
While Ted Bundy was on his murder spree;
torturing and raping 33 women before killing them,
he was not only a registered Republican,
a Republican activist, but was also a paid employee of
the Republican Party. In fact, a few of
his first murders were done while traveling for the GOP.
Spoiled
Rancid
by Barry Crimmins
Excerpt:
There are spoiled brats and then there
is Court-appointed President Bush, a child of privilege
so spoiled he's rancid. As such, he'll
go to any measure to get what he wants. After all,
once you've been allowed to be president
without benefit of election, why shouldn't you
expect your every whim to be fulfilled?
Culture
War With B-2's
by Maureen Dowd
Excerpt:
The casus belli is casuistry belli:
We can't cuff Saddam to 9/11, but we'll
clip Saddam because of 9/11.
Mr. Rumsfeld offered sophistry instead
of a smoking gun:
"I suggest that any who insist on perfect
evidence are
back in the 20th century and still
thinking in pre-9/11 terms."
Ah, Rummy. Evidence, civil liberties, debating
before we go to war . .
It's all sooo 20th century.
American
Stranger
Follow Up..
Problems
in Minneapolis
by Isaac Petersen
Excerpt:
Michelle Gross of Communities United Against
Police Brutality spoke for many in
the community when she said, "I believe
that what they passed was less than nothing.
It's nothing but a delay so the City Council
can have complete control of the mediation...
If there is one more incident in this town,
people are going to blow."
Subject: World Oil Prices
World oil prices are up because the Pentagon
(world's largest buyer/user) has been purchasing
50-60% more oil, 23 million barrels instead
of the usual 15 million barrels, monthly since 9-11.
The "shrub" (immature bush) has found a
way to keep his oily pals high prices stable.
I don't think enough people are aware of
this fact.
Keep up the great work.
I got some
crap on my glasses.
Hey, peasant
lady, hold still
while I
wipe myself on you.
Quotes
"There's the rule that we don't attack other
countries. We're not the Japanese.
We're not into surprising other countries...I
think if you get into this situation of
fighting other countries just 'cause
they have the wrong weapon or you don't like their face,
then you're going to have a world that
is going to be warlike forever. That's what I think.
--Chris Matthews, ...like
anyone cares what he thinks
Hey, Chris!
Bush is your boy.
You worked long and hard to get him where
he is.
You composed lie after lie about Al Gore
in 2000, and laughed while you did it.
You obsessed over Clinton's cock for half
a decade, and laughed about that.
You're not a news man any more, or even
a pundit - you're a whore,
making more for slamming Democrats than
you could make reporting the facts.
Since 1995 or so, you've been a Captain
in the Pig Army.
Cap'n Matthews
reporting, Sir!
The Bush Family has been buttering your
bread for seven years, Chris.
Show your boy a little loyalty, you back-stabbing
slug.
The Iraq debate gets curiouser and curiouser
Excerpt:
"The most unpleasant and unhelpful aspect of
this "debate" is the implication that
anyone who expresses serious doubts about
this venture is unpatriotic -- and it often
comes from the same people who spent eight
years eaten alive with Clinton hatred.
Being patriotic doesn't mean agreeing with
the government.
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...which
way is home?
You know what would be cool?
If someone took a laptop to Bartfest, that had the MIRC
chat software installed.
And if whoever this person was could get their ISP phone number
in Vegas in advance,
we could chat live with the gang from the big fest.
Party in Vegas next weekend
Tickets will start going out today!
Click Here for a recent BartFest update.
If you're going, you NEED to read
this update.
There are four tickets left.
Click Here to see the BartFest Webcam. It's GREAT at night!
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© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl
Heard at Bartfest