Fair and balanced - just like Fox News POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
TEQUILA-VEGAS
|
||||
|
||||
|
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK 74155 |
|
Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Demo U-Ground Contact us Eric Alterman Gene Lyons Joe Conason MediaWhoresOnline Mike Malloy |
Quotes
"In the days of slavery, there were those slaves
who lived on the plantation and
there were those slaves that lived
in the house. You got the privilege of living in
the house if you served the master...
Colin Powell's committed to come into the
house of the master. When Colin Powell
dares to suggest something other than
what the master wants to hear, he will
be turned back out to pasture...
What Colin Powell serves is to give
the illusion that the Bush cabinet is a diverse
cabinet, made up of people of color
when, in fact, none of that is what is true."
-- Harry Belafonte, October 8, 2002
Question:
Will they be counting the votes three weeks from today?
Or will the Crooked Court install their favorites,
over the wishes of the voters like they did in 2000?
...partisan sons of bitches...
The
Ironic Implication of the New Jersey Imbroglio
High Court says they have no business deciding state elections
By Ted Rall
Excerpt:
"...the high court's decision serves as
an important cautionary tale to those who think it's okay,
every now and then, to bend the rule of
law... The 2000 Florida dispute resulted in Republicans
--historically the great champions of
states' rights--obtaining the help of the federal court system
to subvert the states' constitutionally-protected
control of elections. An appeal of the Florida
SC's decision, no matter how flawed that
decision may have been, violated the Constitution.
The fact that Renhquist et al. agreed to
hear Bush v. Gore is what makes Bush's regime illegal."
Quotes
"You mean when General Rove calls in the airstrikes
in October?"
-- Dem. Sen. Camp. Comm. Ex. Dir.
Jim Jordan, responding to how
Iraq might
affect this year's battle for control of Congress.
Q. What's the difference between the St Louis Rams and the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game.
Led Zeppelin to tour US - Summer 2003?
Excerpt:
Led Zeppelin are set to re-group after
22 years for a stadium tour of America.
The three surviving members Plant, Page,
Jones and Jason Bonham plan to tour next summer.
Robert, 54, Jimmy, 58, and 56-year-old John
Paul met two weeks ago
at the offices of their management firm
Trinifold. They buried the hatchet over
Page and Plant s 1990s tour, which John
Paul only learned about from a newspaper.
The band are second only to the Beatles
in worldwide album sales.
They still hold records for crowds at their
1970s concerts.
Wow!
It would be nice if this rumor came true.
I wonder if Uncle Ernie's heard the news?
And Jason is the only guy who could give them the Hammer
of the Gods.
I saw (and taped) Jimmy with Jason in Dallas in 1988 and I could
tell Jason had
been listening to his daddy's live work - he memorized every
lick and he sounded great.
Jason's not as good as his had (nobody is) but the guys who are
better than Jason
don't have that arrogant swagger that he inherited from the best
rock drummer of all time.
On that tour, since Robert wasn't along, so they were free to
do the BIG songs.
Dazed and Confused, In My Time of Dying, Stairway,
etc.
Robert can't stand the big songs, he prefers Going to California
and Tangerine,
which are nice songs, but I like the Led more than I like the
Zeppelin.
In late 1974, we drove seven hours to St Louis to buy Zeppelin
tickets.
I had a pocket full of money, and when I got to the ticket window,
I said,
"How many tickets you got left and how much?"
The guy said "There are 33 tickets left
and they're $13.50 each."
I said "I'll take 'em."
Nothing was the same after I saw Led Zeppelin live.
Bush's Wanton War
Excerpt:
Credible reports have upwards of half-million
Iraqis dying from third world diseases like typhoid or
dysentery over the last 11 years; because
in ’91 we bombed Baghdad’s water purification and sewage
treatment plants, covering the cradle of
civilization with excrement, then embargoed chlorine for a
decade (because it’s used in making poison
gases). Reattaching Iraq to the world could result in a
flood of fervent anti-American terrorists.
We don’t even know how many were killed in the Gulf War,
because the press was treated as the enemy,
and our military never deigned to tell us.
If we invade Iraq, it will be only because
George Bush wants to
… and that’s not a good enough reason.
.
Q. Why doesn't East St. Louis have a professional football team?
A. Because then St. Louis would want one.
Smart liberal
radio
click for
details
Listen to Mike weekdays
Quotes
"...the Christian Coalition held its annual
road to victory conference here in DC.
And one of the ringmasters of that right
wing circus was Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik)
...Senator Inhofe called on the Christian
Coalition to vote liberals out of office, saying,
"You will be doing the lord's work and
he will richly bless you for it."
In response, the lord god almighty released
the following statement: Who in Heaven's
name instructed Jim Inhofe to speak
for me. He's a child of mine, and I love him, but I
don't take sides in partisan political
contests. Vote your conscience. And, while you're
at it, love your neighbor, stop killing
each other, and take better care of the poor."
--Paul Begala,
Crossfire, 10/14/02
Joint
Resolution to Authorize the use of
United
States Armed Forces Against Iraq
by my good friend (and Bartfest attendee)
The Daily Brew
Click Here
for the superior original
Click
Here for the inferior forever version
Excerpt:
Whereas the nation of Iraq has substantial
oil and gas reserves,
Whereas over the past decade certain executives
in the oil and gas industry have
donated generously to various political
campaigns of President George W. Bush,
and many were in fact "Bush Pioneers" in
the 2000 presidential campaign...
Subject: From Doug's Mom
I just wanted to let you know Doug's in
[the] Hospital in L.A., Room xxx, with two blood clots.
They say he's had 12 strokes, probably
as a result of the roller coaster ride he took at Disneyland in August.
He was admitted last Tuesday; the best estimate
is that he will probably come home tomorrow.
They've been [thinning his blood].
There doesn't seem to be any neurological damage, although he'll apparently
have to have some physical therapy--as
well as careful monitoring of his clotting ability--when he gets home.
He's continuing to have some headaches and
dizziness, but apparently nowhere near the frequency or intensity
level he was having before he went in.
We'll keep you informed. Thanks for being Doug's friend.
Jean
I took a chance and called Doug's hospital room - and he answered!
You couldn't tell he'd had a series of small strokes - he sounded
great.
I wish I sounded that good when I was on Mike Malloy.
Doug says he's going home today!
Woo Hoo!
Way to go, Doug!
My good friend (and Bartfest attendee) Bob Witkowski has a cool web site.
Don't let the gun picture scare you.
Liberals with guns may be our last hope.
First look at the BarFest Vegas slideshow!
http://www.thecapturedimage.com/LV-site/index.htm
Thanks to Steve!
Texas
on the Tigris
by Maureen Dowd - This time it's Smirk 'n Dick
Excerpt:
The Nobel committee gave Jimmy Carter the
peace prize as a way of giving W. the war booby prize.
Still, George Bush, the failed Harken oil
executive, and Dick Cheney, the inept Halliburton chairman,
will finally get their gusher.
One day, the prez was shootin' at a dictator
bein' rude, and up from the ground came a bubblin' crude.
Oil, that is. Black gold. Baghdad tea.
The
simple truth
Put in small words so the 'tangs can understand.
1. Bush is a moron.
2. He stole the election.
3. He wants to go to war to hide his
crimes
and his mishandling
of the economy.
See?
Ain't nothing to it...
Bush's
banana republic
by Francis Boyle
Excerpt:
"George W. Bush was never elected President
by the People... Instead, he was anointed
for that Office by five Justices of the
United States Supreme Court who themselves had
been appointed by Republican Presidents.
What happened in America could only be
likened to a judicial coup d'etat inflicted
upon the American People, Constitution, and Republic.
There should now be no doubt that the United
States Supreme Court is governed by raw,
naked, brutal, power politics. Justice
has nothing at all to do with it. This Supreme Court's
constitutional sophistry proved a harbinger
of the new administration's disrespect for the
Rule of Law, whether domestic or international."
Misleading
the Nation to War
by Sam Parry of consortiumnews.com
Excerpt:
"...what Bush and his aides have left out of
their one-sided risk equation is the possibility that
the administration’s actions may increase
the danger to Americans, not reduce or eliminate it.
The truncated national debate has barely
touched on this other reality that Bush’s belligerence
might speed up the timetable for terrorist
groups getting their hands on weapons of mass destruction,
a point acknowledged in a new CIA threat
assessment.
Was I wrong to do this...?
When my baby was first learning to talk, everytime
W's face
came on TV, I'd say, "'Stupid.' Can you say
'stupid?'"
And now my son honestly thinks that is W's name.
He is now 3 years old and points to W and says
"Stupid."
I know it was juvenile of me, but I couldn't help
myself!!
(It's obvious I'm a liberal because I feel guilty
about it, right?
A Republican never feels guilty about anything.)
Lisa, The Homesick Texan
ha ha
ha ha
ha ha
ha ha
Make her stop...
Click Here for today's
Quotes
"If Al Gore was president right now, this would
be more hysterical
than a drag queen returning a pair
of shoes without a receipt."
--Dennis
Miller, former comedian turned Monica for Dim Son
There is a lot of BartFest news that needs to be mentioned...
No-Dak
(Or is is Ko-Dak?) sent me 115 still.pictures and a very
nice financial contribution due to his skill and luck at the
blackjack tables,
and
Steve has a slideshow about to debut, ...and
then there's the video....
Plus, how many times did the firemen come to say hello?
Hearing that alarm go off brought me back to my days at The Hard
Rock Island
when I'd hear, "There's been a shooting
- who owns this dump?"
I have a fun story to tell, too, but it needs more sex and drugs
to make it fly
and it's taking longer than I figured to fabricate that juicy
kind of stuff.
I can tell you The
Rio inserted a splinterry telephone pole in my
butt
between the party and the Roulette wheel, so stay tuned for all
the fun fax.
If YOU have a fun story from that weekend, send it to me.
Dear Mr. McAuliffe,
I have been proud of my support for the
Democratic Party and its candidates my entire adult life.
This has not been easy having grown up
in a Republican household in a very conservative area of California.
I watched the travesty that was an election
in 2000 with fear and horror, as an unelected moron assumed
the leadership of our country in spite
of receiving fewer votes and in spite of the wishes of the majority of
voters in the nation and, I believe, in
Florida. This man, was able to dishonestly assume the most powerful
position in the world, without a mandate,
and yet force his ideology on America and the world, with the
help of his powerful corporate friends,
political allies and even the media.
As far as I'm concerned, my party has abandoned
its responsibility as an opposition party. It has spinelessly
allied itself with traitors to the Constitution
and our culture. Sadly, the party will have to do without my support,
and where applicable, without my vote...or
money.
Bill
Mira says
"Stay abreast
of the
BFEE's
ilegal takeover..."
...read
bartcop.com
Quotes
"I don't go after innocents. I only go after
jerks."
--Dennis Miller, just
before he shot himself
I'm so old, I remember when Miller hated the right-wing
psychopaths.
Then he got a few dollars in his pocket and bought his presidential
kneepads.
You young comedians out there, don't pull a "Dennis Miller."
Stay true to yourself, don't sell your soul and you'll do OK.
Subject: Gutless Democrats?
Dear Bart:
You are now praising Senator Byrd as being
one of only a few democrats with balls.
What did you think of him when he voted
for the confirmation of Ashcroft?
I didn't like him when he was KKK.
I didn't like him when he went after Clinton
during impeachment.
I didn't like him when he voted for his
buddy Ashcroft.
I don't like him now, but he's the only
one fighting back.
You damned ALL democratic senators for the
Ashcroft confirmation
when only a few democratic senators voted
for it.
I damn all the Democrats who voted for him
and all the Democrats who failed to speak
out against him
Your heros seem to be the characters in
a cartoon strip and a fictional president on
a television drama. It's easy to be a hero
all the time when you are a fictious or
anonymous character. Sometimes real people
have to make compromises.
"Real people" have to vote for the most
religiously insane man in congressional history?
You're a nut.
Keep hiding behind your anomonity Tough
Guy.
You are doing the rest of us no favor.
And don't even THINK about publishing my email address.
Next time mind your manners.
Quotes
"Are you better off today than you were two
years ago?
We were moving in the right direction
according to most measures.
Less than two years later, the surpluses
are gone...
The plan we're following now is really
bad."
--Al Gore, Monday
at the Iowa Memorial Union
Hey, Al!
All you had to do was say "Let's
stay the course," and promise "more
Clintonomics."
But you wanted to be your "own man," instead,
remember, Al?
...you got your wish.
BartFest
report
by BartCop, don't miss this
Oh, yeah, early in the night, someone asked me if smoking was
allowed.
I looked around for some cops, but then I realized that's not
what he meant.
Tobacco?
Hell no, you can't smoke tobacco at the Party of the Year!
So they took the tobacco out into the hall, right under the smoke
alarm.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding...
Quotes
"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the
great ones to public office".
- Aesop, who died long before Bunnypants was even born
By the way, I'm starting a new thing:
See how that quote ends...public
office".
I'm declaring right now that we no longer do that!
From now on, the correct punctuation for that is...public
office."
Tell your friends...
The Pieman
Support
bartcop.com
Help us get the truth out!
Click below to become a Corona Light volunteer for
just
$5 a month
Our silent benefactor is still matching all new subscriptions.
We've got to build a bigger hammer.
The illegal President Dimm Sonn needs to be stopped.
Click Here to donate large.
Quotes
"It does look like a pattern of attacks that
the enemy, albeit on the run,
is trying to once again to frighten
and kill freedom-loving people. And we've
just got to understand we are in a
long struggle. Clearly the attacks in Bali,
I think we have to assume it is al
Qaeda. We just learned a lesson this weekend:
It's going to take a while to succeed."
--Dubya, the stuipiodest man in the history of politics, after the Bali
massacre,
asking the voters to be patient with his learning curve.
Hey, Crooked Liar!
How many thousands will die while you're
trying to learn how to learn?
When it comes to fund raising for others, I'm more out than the
St Louis Cardinals, but they say
chat's Joeve, who is half of the Joey-Joe-Joe radio
show, is going to lose his house Friday..
Shopping
online?
Use the portal below
and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel
|
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
Shirley Manson of "Garbage"