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Quotes
"Hitler doesn't concern me at all - besides,
he's probably dead, anyway.
What we need to concentrate on is regime
change in Italy."
-- Winston Churchill, August
3, 1944
Not really, but wouldn't Churchill sound as stupid as Bush if
he said there was no reason to go after the guy who bombed them?
Jeb
Bush hopes drugs laws apply to Noelle
Disagrees with Florida judge who make cocaine legal for Noelle
Excerpt:
"I see pictures of her when she was 3 or 4 years old and I vividly
remember that,"
Bush said. "But now she's 25 and the laws
apply to her as they apply to anyone else.
I just hope the laws apply to her like
anybody else.
The laws do not apply to the Bush Royal Family.
They can do cocaine and get caught and a judge will rule the
arrest illegal.
Dubya's minor daughters can drink alcohol openly in any bar in
America.
Their friends can murder Japanese with a submarine and get it
covered up.
Kneel can plunder any savings and loan he wants to.
Grandpa financed Hitler's war machine.
Poppy can sell weapons to terrorists and not pay any penalty.
President Happy Crack can go AWOL, use cocaine, drive drunk,
hide his arrest record,
phoney up Harken books and even have a unconstitutional
VP from the same state.
...but as long as Clinton's zipper isn't involved, it's not a crime.
The
excuses they use
by R. Robot
What President Happycrack did to prevaricate
a movement is the act of a formerly important loser,
and smear campaigning that will not soon
be forgotten by the American people. Beyond Germany,
it's difficult to identify any country
where anti-Americanism is on the upswing. Before it's too late,
we must establish pro-war challenges. We
owe it to our children. After all, this is a man who has
tried to kill the President's dad.
The most curiously bitter of the liberals,
Al Gore, misrepresents George W. Bush again.
"Is there any evidence that Iraq 'thinks
they might want to team up with terrorists,' as the
President said?" he said in a special appearance
on The Simpsons. Really? Isn't it clear by now
that a madman has already tried to kill
the President's dad? The proof that our mission is fair
and patriotic is that it's so risky.
President Happycrack, what kind of a man
are you?
From the liberal auto-slur site inksyndicate.com/warbot
Subject: Bush's Ballistic Blunder
Hi, Bart.
Resident Pathetic has said that he doesn't
believe that gun fingerprinting may
be very accurate, but that he and his people
would look into the matter. (Yeah, sure.)
Do you think ballistic science ever played
a significant part in convicting any of
the prisoners that g.w. helped execute
when he was governor of Texas?
I'll bet it was plenty accurate for him
when he approved of killing all of those people.
Sincerely,
Simms
Central K-Drag
Bush is in favor of anything that promotes more killing.
Quotes
"There is no risk reduction from using
a condom."
-- "Doctor" Laura, lying her
ass off about abstinence for teens after
admitting our coed military can't keep their hands off each other
Are you better of than you were two years ago?
"Are you better off that you were two years ago?",
is a common question asked
just before an election. Usually it's the
theme of presidential elections, but so much
has happened in the last two years that
it's time to ask the question now.
Two years ago we had peace and prosperity.
Now we have war and poverty.
They say the rich get richer and the poor
get poorer, but in the last two years
even the rich got poorer. People's life
savings wiped out due to corporate thieves
who now control the government. The Patriot
Act stripped us of our civil liberties
and we now vote to provoke a war with Iraq
when virtually ignoring the terrorist
groups that blew up the world trade towers.
America now has secret courts and
spends its time spying on our own people.
Our government is lawless and out of control.
So - when you go to the polls ask yourself
if you are better off that you were two years ago.
Do you want to continue to support the
people in office who vote for war, poverty and
oppression, or people who support peace
prosperity and freedom.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.
Subject: Dowd
Bart,
Glad to see that you have buried the hatchet
with Maureen Dowd
over the hatchet she buried in Al Gore.
Because now she is all over Smrking Dick
like crack on a Shrub.
And we need all the allies we can get.
Dan Stafford
A Bartcop a day....
keeps the fascist at bay....
Dan, sorry to disappoint but I haven't buried anything with Dowd.
She's a whore - she attacks whoever will make her the most money.
Next time Hillary makes a headline, Dowd will attack her.
Off the top of my head, the only person I've ever seen shed the
"whore" label is David Brock.
I believe Brock because he gave up many millions when he started
telling the truth.
He's an anti-whore.
Wall
Street/Washington insider spills the dirty secret of Iraq war
Getting control of that oil will make a vast difference
Excerpt:
In his October 7 speech, Bush, addressing
the question, “Why Iraq?”, declared,
“While there are many dangers in the world,
the threat from Iraq stands alone
because it gathers the most serious dangers
of our age in one place.”
There followed the standard litany of warnings
of imminent Iraqi chemical and
biological attacks on US soil, a looming
threat of nuclear attack by Baghdad,
and Saddam Hussein’s supposed links with
the Al Qaeda terror network.
There was one three-letter word that did
not pass the president’s lips—oil.
This war is about the B.F.E.E. getting richer using the lives of our young men.
You know it.
I know it.
The American people know it.
Bob Dole knows it.
The GOP knows it.
The press knows it, too, but they can make an extra dime calling
the stupid Bush boy
"Mr. President," and that extra dime means everything to a Republican.
The Democrats know it, too.
"Bart!
How mean you are!
Bush is our president.
We must do what he wants!"
Quotes
"Bush's bluff -- if that is what it is -- should
be called. Either he can prove
what he said about the Iraqi regime
being in league with al-Qaeda or he cannot.
If he is misleading the public about
the threat, he should not be followed into war."
--David Corn, thenation.com
Rush
caught lying again
What are the odds?
Frasier
Frasier has become such a wretchedly unfunny show, I don't
even watch anymore.
Just a couple of years ago, it was one of the funniest shows
in all of TV history.
The last episode I watched had Frasier and Niles pulling into
a parking lot,
then Frasier changed his mind and tried to leave but parking
attendant Coffin-boy
(from NYPD Blue) said he had to charge Frasier a two dollar minimum.
For the next 22 minutes, Frasier whined about the unfairness of
that.
There were no jokes, no funny dialog, no story and no plot.
Now that Kelsey Grammer is making $1.7M per show, the show sucks.
You'd think it would kill them to watch one of their repeats,
like those classic episodes
where six of them are in six different rooms in a cabin in the
woods, and A has a crush on B,
but B is gay, and C knows B is gay, but
A
doesn't, then D mistakenly goes into the wrong
room and E makes the wrong assumption and nobody and everybody
ends up getting F'd.
Some early Frasier episodes had better writing than most
$50M Hollywood feature films.
Now they sit in a parking garage and whine about two dollars.
It's become must-not-see TV.
Smart liberal
radio
click for
details
Listen to Mike weekdays
Quotes
"Writing about that fraudulent flag-waver Ralph
Reed reminded me how prevalent
a certain brand of pseudo-patriotism
is in his circles. Pat Robertson, Reed's old boss
at the Christian Coalition, used to
claim he had served in Korea as a "Marine combat officer."
(In fact, his Web site still suggests
that he somehow earned three battle stars.)
The truth, revealed by two former members
of Congress, was that Robertson's father,
Virginia Sen. A. Willis Robertson, used
his influence to get the future televangelist out
of combat duty. Instead, he held down
a soft job at Marine headquarters, where he was
known as the "liquor officer." The full
unflattering story, including Robertson's
boomerang libel lawsuit, is told here."
-- Joe Conason's Journal
Steve Largent (R-Rel-Insane) is in debates to be governor of Oklahoma.
He can't lose because he once played football.
Football is God in Oklahoma.
Football even trumps race in this Koresh-forsaken dust bowl.
How do you think Uncle O.J. Watts won his races?
...but how totally stupid is Steve Largent?
He's so stupid, while attending a fund raiser for his first House
seat, he had to ask others
what "GOP" stood for. In Oklahoma, that means he's as stupid
as the other Okies so he's
seen as "one of us," a trick pResident Happy Crack uses to his
advantage.
But it gets worse...
Largent confessed the other day that he didn't know about September
11th until September 13th.
Where was he?
He was in in the woods of all-white Idaho, killing defenseless
animals .
...but that's not what made the local headlines.
Largent uses vulgarism in television interview
Excerpt:
Largent, a football star turned politician
who resigned from Congress to run for governor this year,
was hunting in Idaho on Sept. 11, 2001.
He didn't learn of the attacks until he emerged from the
woods Sept. 13, but in his absence, his
staff issued a statement indicating his reaction even
though staffers were not in contact
with him.
Like with Bunnypants, his staff does all his thinking for him.
Fun with Math
Stock Market + Clinton = Tripled
Stock Market + Bush = Cut in half
Wow
"Obviously, it's not a very serious day, not
a very
serious vote and nobody places any credibility
on it"
Who Said It?
A. Gerhard Schroeder, German Chancellor, on the Bush 2000 'election'
B. Ari Fleischer on the Iraqi election held this week
C. George Bush Jr., on the democratic election of President Hugo Chavez
of
Venezuela, in a speech supporting the attempted
Coup against Chavez in April.
The BarFest Vegas slideshow!
http://www.thecapturedimage.com/LV-site/index.htm
Thanks to Steve!
The
BUDsterization of America by the Bush Cabal,
by Al Martin
Excerpt:
The BUDsterization of America is almost
finished. Because of Bushonomics,
the American people are becoming BUDsterized.
They are in other words, Broke, Useless
and Depressed, i.e. BUDsters. This was
a phrase I created which was popularized for a while
and then everybody started using it. People
would call in on radio talk shows and say,
"Al, I've been BUDsterized." And everybody knew
what they meant.
Quotes
"...but Rush, we spent $100 million investigating
Clinton's sex life,
but the biggest bankruptcies in America
go uninvestigated?"
-- caller who got past Rush's call screener
When the stock market drops 400 points...
...Bush's good puppy media tells us "it's all Clinton's fault."
The next day, when it bounces back 150 points,
so they say "this is more proof Bush's
plan is working."
The next day, the market drops another 350 points
Bush's good puppy media says "it's all
Clinton's fault."
The next day, when it bounces back 120 points,
so they say "it's more proof Bush's
plan is working."
The next day, the market drops another 300 points
Bush's good puppy media says "it's all
Clinton's fault."
The next day, when it bounces back 80 points,
so they say "it's more proof Bush's
plan is working."
Meanwhile, the market has lost
700 points, so he creates a war that
makes his family richer and his good puppy press has more reasons
to praise him.
It would be funny if we weren't being robbed of half our savings.
Friday
Night Political Football
by Paul Corrigan 22 April 2001
Excerpt:
Miller's obscure historical and cultural
references are what make him distinct.
Miller may be smart, but he's not smart
enough to know that he is selling his soul
and buying the devil's ticket. Miller is
sliding down Dante's Inferno faster than
a wet ass riding a chute at Water Country.
Quotes
"He said he was honoring the requests of his
adoring fans."
--Fox's Robert Zimmerman, explaining why Geraldo
Rivera signed
the ends of Hooters waitresses
while covering the sniper in Washington.
Fox - always the classy network.
When District Attorneys Attack
The LA Times says LA police made 13 felony arrests in 2001 for
shoplifting.
In every case, the District Attorney let the defendant
plead to a lesser charge.
But the DA is publicity-hungry so Ms. Ryder must be singled olut
for punishment.
Also, Ryder had two Percocet in her purse, and a valid prescription,
but the scumbag DA
must be getting wood tarring her with a "Ryder
in drug arrest" headlines
Why do they file charges they know to be bogus?
Just to see the headlines?
Apparently so.
Remember, these are the same boneheads who blew the O.J. Simpson
trial,
the same boneheads who smeared Paula Poundstone with child sexual
abuse charges,
the same boneheads who covered up LA police complicity in the
Biggie Smalls murder,
and now they're going after Wynona Ryder like she was a member
of the B.F.E.E.
Fortunately, Ms Ryder has my good friend Mark Geragos on
the case.
"It's unfortunate it's taken them 10 months
to do this," said Mark Geragos
"I applaud them."
Geragos said prosecutors had evidence almost
immediately after Ryder's arrest
that she had a prescription for the two
pills, a generic form of the painkiller Percocet.
"The worst thing you can say is that she was
trying to save a couple of bucks,"
Geragos said in reference to the generic
pills.
Quotes
"The Boze Wave radio ranks with the light bulb
in today's technology."
-- Paul Harvey, the lying horse molester, just now.
Oil breaks $30 a barrel
The more Pres. Pinhead screams "War
in the Middle East!"
the more profit his oil buddies are going to make.
The big oil companies think Bush is a good president
click
Vegas
Stories
Quotes
"We need to think about Saddam Hussein using
al-Qaida to do his dirty work,
to not leave fingerprints behind...
Please forget that he could be describing his Dad's relations with bin Laden in the eighties...
"This is a man who we know has had connections with al-Qaida."
Please forget that Reagan and Bush had connections with al-Qaeda in the eighties....
This is a man who, in my judgment, would
like to use al-Qaida as a forward army."
--Dubya, at Dearborn, 10/14/02,
describing what his father did to create
al-Qaeda
in the eighties to battle the Russians who invaded Afghanistan.
I wonder how many Bush-provided Stinger missles bin Laden has left?
click
Subject: Goofy Campaign Ads
bart,
We have a doozy of an ad playing here in MA for
Mitt Romney.
It was supposed to save him, but it hasn't -
not at ALL.
Apparently, his focus group guy told him that
despite his being a devilishly handsome rake
who looks GREAT in a crew neck sweater over an
Oxford shirt, women don't much like him.
So, he did an ad where he sort of chronicles
his early relationship with Mrs. Romney.
We learn that they met when she was 15, and their
first date was a prom (hers? his? who knows).
Romney, whose dad was the district manager for
AMC, or something like that, cruised up
in his BRAND NEW Marlin to pick her up. She says
she hated the car, and he agrees,
that it was a really ugly car and sort of embarrassing.
To sum up to this point, we've learned
that he was dating an under age girl, in a car
which was given to him, but which he hated.
Next, he tells us that he worked nights at Stanford
as a security guard to make the money to
fly home every weekend to see the future Mrs.
Romney. They both giggle over the fact that
his parents had NO IDEA he wasn't back at Stanford,
studying. Okay, so he snuck around
and lied to the parents who GAVE HIM A FREE FUCKING
CAR, which he didn't much like!!!
Where did he stay? Did they stay together? Did
she lie to her parents, too? Did they have premarital sex?
I'm speculating here, but I bet the answers are
The No-tell Motel, Yes, YES, YES and YES!!!!!
The last scene is the Money Shot you've
probably heard about.
Mitt and his boys frolic playfully in bathing
suits, rasseling the way men do, and pushing
each other into the water. It's supposed to thrill
us gals but, truthfully, I'd say it's probably
helping him most with the Log Cabin Republicans
who should be voting for him anyway.
Regards,
Dogfolks
BartFest
report
by BartCop, don't miss this
The Pieman
Housekeeping
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