Honesty
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Quotes
"I'd like to know what about sex discrimination
Tiger Woods thinks is right.
If others had taken that view, he'd
be a caddie at Augusta, not a player."
-- Martha Burk, head of the
National Council of Women's Organizations
Now that North Korea has disclosed they have nukes,
will President Enron suddenly decide to invade them, too?
Of course not.
North Korea doesn't have any oil, stupid.
Subject: Time for Bush to run to Texas?
If, as George Tenant (Director of the CIA)
says, things are as bad as they were
in the summer of 2001, if terrorist attacks
on us are as probable as they were then,
isn't it time for Moron to turn tail and
run off to Texas for a month???
Linda >^..^<
Linda, yes.
When a terrorist attack is imminent, Junior takes another
month-long vacation.
That way he can say, "How could we have known?" when more people are killed.
Bali
Disco Bombing - Another US "Inside Hit"
Looks like another US Military/Intelligence Black Op
Click Here - search for "Bali"
Excerpt:
They expect us to believe that the same
Islamic Terrorists who supposedly masterminded the
Sept. 11th attacks, (Arguably the most
significant MILITARY strikes in the history of empires,
shaking at the very roots, the globe’s
preeminent empire.) would blunder and bomb the disco
containing Australians when a disco
full of juicy Americans was just a few doors down the road?
One only has to spend an afternoon on the
strip to find out which places are popular with the
Americans. Even Islamic terrorists can
ask any Kuta vagrant which club has the Americans in it.
And absolutely , positively, if Islamic
terrorists were behind this attack they would have gone straight
to the discos frequented by Americans only
several doors down the street, and bombed them.
Comment by "JR:"
The speed and regularity at which they
roll out these experts who say, "Yup, looks like Al Queda,"
Sure does ring of MILITARY PSY-OP.
Who is this latest Indonesian official who
is suddenly taking the administration's line and is suddenly
quoted in every single major media article
as saying he now thinks it's Al Queda. It's like they get one
insider to play ball then all the media
says, "Well you heard it. He said it, and he's the defense minister."
And how do we know he is not just a puppet
or worse an idiot, who got led to make a statement
which then was designed to be trumpeted
throughout the media as proof. I don't give a fuck about
the defense minister of Indonesia suddenly
detirmining that it was definitely Al Queda.
This was an American military style psychological
operation from top to bottom.
JR
Granted, this is wild and inflammatory stuff,
(and I obviously know zip about Bali nightlife)
but if
there was a nearby club full of Americans,
why would they kill so many Australians, instead?
Let's hope the B.F.E.E. isn't getting impatient with their world taleover.
Quotes
"Some Democrats have accused this administration
of being dingoistic.
Don't believe them - it's not true.
...I am not a dingo..."
-- Too stupid to tie his shoes
Vote Democrat in November
What Would Hitler Do?
Pope
Recognizes Chinaco Anejo
Pontiff revamps Rosary to recognize Christ's tastiest miracle.
Excerpt:
Different mysteries are contemplated each
day, with the glorious mysteries repeated on Sundays.
Now, on Sundays, the pope asks Catholics
to reflect on five ''mysteries of light'':
Christ's baptism, his first miracle
at Cana, his proclaiming the coming of the Kingdom of God,
his transfiguration in front of three disciples,
and the institution of the Eucharist as a sacrament.
Now it can be told.
This is one of the "surprises" I've been waiting to tell you
about.
I contacted the Vatican in the summer of 2000 and asked them to
recognize
the makers of Chinaco Anejo for carrying on Christ's
great work as a liquorier.
The cardinals agreed back then that Chinaco should be recognized.
They suggested a "St Chinaco Day," but I lobbied for something
big,
like a whole new rosary to celebrate the tastiest miracle
He ever performed.
It's what awaits us all in Heaven...
The Wimps of War
Excerpt:
"...the US yesterday softened its stance on UN
weapons inspections
by removing language specifically threatening
Iraq with invasion."
Vegas Reports continue to come in
Send yours in, too.
Bush
Twins Astrology
Excerpt:
When [Venus & Mars] are trine, the male and
female energy of the individuals are harmonious.
Jenna and Barbara will get along easy with
both men and women.
Wow!
Men and women?
That's hot!
Commentary
by Barry Crimmins
Excerpt:
" ...one freedom-loving NRA supporter ask why
guns are any different
than kitchen knives or hammers. He reasoned
that both can be used as
murder weapons, just like a gun. That's
a good point. I'd hate to count all
of the random people killed each year,
in public, by serial killers using
high-powered kitchen knives and hammers."
Quotes
"I told the president I thought his Justice
Department was out of control.
Are we going to save ourselves from
international terrorism in order to deny
the fundamental liberties we protect
to ourselves?"
-- Dick Armey, joining Robert Byrd, Dan Burton, Bob Barr
and Jim Jeffords
in fighting the illegal thugs
who have stolen our government from us.
Why?
Because the Democrats are too afraid to fight back.
"But Bart,
fighting
is bad!
It
makes us just like them."
Top Ten Differences between Baghdad and Las Vegas
10. In Baghdad, you don't need a tourist bus to see the mushroom clouds
9. Baghdad's best tequila bars only serve Jose Cuervo
8. Wayne Newton only plays Baghdad twice a year
7. Saddamfest in Baghdad draws tens of thousands
6. Vegas buffets don't serve camel
5. Their 'Death Valley' soon to be much bigger than ours
4. No call girls named "Janine" in Baghdad
3. You can't get married by a bin Laden impersonator in Vegas
2. The hourly pirate fights produce real casualties in Baghdad
...and the Number One difference between Baghdad and Las Vegas...
1. Even in August, Vegas never reaches 2500 degrees
Poop on poultry
Bush
serves up another stinker
by Molly Ivins
Excerpt:
"So who's in favor of poop on poultry?
Surprise, it's the meat and poultry industry!...
And why would politicians take chances
with the very lives of their constituents?
The Center for Responsive Politics reports
that 82 percent of the meat industry's political
contributions, $4.5 million since 1990,
went to Republicans. To labor the point, it does actually
make a real difference in your daily life
who winds up in public office. So to all of you who
"just don't care about politics," take
another bite of chicken and think about it some more."
Subject: Cheney Refuses Judge's Orders
A federal judge yesterday ordered the Bush
administration to turn over key documents about
its energy task force for a second time,
while government lawyers gave notice that they plan
to take their case to an appeals court
before complying.
U.S. District Judge Emmet G. Sullivan gave
lawyers representing Cheney until Nov. 5 to produce
documents that detail the membership rolls
and meeting schedules of the National Energy Policy
Development Group, which Cheney chaired.
Sullivan had ordered the same documents turned over in August.
The Bush administration has said repeatedly
that the separation of powers doctrine shields those
documents from outside review because they
might show the administration's internal, deliberative process.
But it has yet to invoke the principle
of executive privilege, either, and that position drew Sullivan's ire yesterday.
Once again Cheney has refused to turn over
the people's papers to the people. Perhaps he is afraid
that the people will figure out that Enron
was actually writing this Administration's energy policy?
Jim in Rochester, MI
Steve Largent - Religiously Insane
What's the difference between elections in America and Iraq?
In Iraq, they count the votes.
Another great flash movie by my good friend American
Stranger
http://www.blah3.com/nothing.html
Smart radio
click
Smirk uses sniper attacks to deploy military for domestic policing
Excerpt:
The timing as well as the scope of this
response suggests that the Bush administration
is once again exploiting a tragedy and
public fears to press an anti-democratic political
agenda: to accustom the population to the
militarization of American society, strengthen
federal police powers, and implement sweeping
governmental changes.
I remember the hours, weeks, days and months that G. Gordon Liddy
railed against
Clinton because he suspected that Clinton might
try to get around posse commitatus.
and use the military to keep ordinary American citizens in line.
Now that the Unelected
Fraud had deployed tanks on the streets, the right-wing
loons have decided a powerful and oppresive federal government
is
just what we need.
It proves they were lying all along...
Wednesday night, 6:30 PM CST, I placed a phone call to
history.
I expected the call to last 15-20 minutes.
When I hung up at 9:30, I realized I'd missed West Wing.
Mrs. Bart told me it was "the debate episode," and I had
to see it.
I don't mean to get into this habit, but if anyone has a copy
of that and can
send me a copy really quick, I'd sure like to see it before
next week's West Wing.
Can you help?
Cash or trade or favor in return.
PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
Fest Stuff
Bart,
You're very welcome, and my sincere thanks
in return for your engineering what was a pretty good time.
I was going to write shortly to let you
know I'm glad we all apparently made it back in one piece.
(It was also good to hear you on Mike Malloy's
show last week.)
I did overdo the tequila Saturday
night, and had a pretty miserable early Sunday morning as a result,
but I guess I can't hold you personally
responsible for that. ;-)
Considering we're all convinced that the
country is being run by a bunch of psychopaths who are busily
ripping us blind, and may very possibly
get us all killed, I'd have to say we seemed like a pretty happy
group of people. Maybe we think the
world's coming to an end, but at least we've managed to keep
our sense of humor about it.
Here's to us getting together again sometime, in better times.
--Mike
Political
Assassination: From JFK to Al Gore
by Elizabeth Handley <gorewon> of the Green Press
Excerpt:
The concept of a liberal media bias is
a myth. Most of the mainstream media is
owned by giant corporations closely associated
with the Republican Party.
Now the GOP engages in political assassination
by virtue of ridicule and control
of the press. Lazy reporting, pack
journalism, and GOP spin dominated the press
during the 2000 presidential campaign and
election. The mass media technique of
"distort, distract, and trash" continues
to enable the right-wing agenda.
Goofy Campaign Ads
"Chambliss Is Shameless: Morphing Cleland With Usama!"
I knew Chambliss had called war hero Cleland
unpatriotic but
I didn't realise the extent of his shamelessness;
until recently.
Chambliss aired an ad showing Cleland's
face morphing into Usama's face and
calling him unpatriotic because he objected
to ONE provision in the Homeland Security Bill.
Chambliss managed to wriggle out of Vietnam
service with an alleged bad knee.
Meanwhile, Cleland got BOTH legs and an
arm blown away in Vietnam.
Morphing a true American war hero with Usama is inane.
Chambliss is an idiotic coward in more ways
than one.
While he got of duty because of an alleged
bad knee,
Cleland was fighting for our country.
Patrick Schiappa
Quotes
"I beg you, help save America before yours
is a legacy of shame and horror.
Sacrificing American soldiers or innocent
civilians in an unprecedented preemptive
attack on a separate sovereign nation
may well prove itself a most temporary medicine."
-- Modanna's ex-husband,
Sean
A poem sent in by Nuveeeeena
Bartcop, now is not the time for bashing Dems
Excerpt:
Dem bashing, speculating about forming
third parties, telling folks that withholding support
from the Democratic Party is somehow a
good thing and so forth is getting pretty dang close
to the same short-sighted rhetoric we get
from Naderites and Michael Moore.
The Jessica Lange Film Festival 2002
It's not what you think...
They say if you Go
Here and click on the pink ribbon,
The
Signa Foundation will donate $1 to breast cancer
research.
It looks legit, ...but sometimes it's hard for one to tell...
click
Quotes
"We need to think about Saddam Hussein using
al-Qaida to do his dirty work,
to not leave fingerprints behind...
Please forget that he could be describing his Dad's relations with bin Laden in the eighties...
"This is a man who we know has had connections with al-Qaida."
Please forget that Reagan and Bush had connections with al-Qaeda in the eighties....
This is a man who, in my judgment, would
like to use al-Qaida as a forward army."
--Dubya, at Dearborn, 10/14/02,
describing what his father did to create
al-Qaeda
in the eighties to battle the Russians who invaded Afghanistan.
I wonder how many Bush-provided Stinger missles bin Laden has left?
Goofy Campaign Ads
bart,
We have a doozy of an ad playing here in MA for
Mitt Romney.
It was supposed to save him, but it hasn't -
not at ALL.
Apparently, his focus group guy told him that
despite his being a devilishly handsome rake
who looks GREAT in a crew neck sweater over an
Oxford shirt, women don't much like him.
So, he did an ad where he sort of chronicles
his early relationship with Mrs. Romney.
We learn that they met when she was 15, and their
first date was a prom (hers? his? who knows).
Romney, whose dad was the district manager for
AMC, or something like that, cruised up
in his BRAND NEW Marlin to pick her up. She says
she hated the car, and he agrees,
that it was a really ugly car and sort of embarrassing.
To sum up to this point, we've learned
that he was dating an under age girl, in a car
which was given to him, but which he hated.
Next, he tells us that he worked nights at Stanford
as a security guard to make the money to
fly home every weekend to see the future Mrs.
Romney. They both giggle over the fact that
his parents had NO IDEA he wasn't back at Stanford,
studying. Okay, so he snuck around
and lied to the parents who GAVE HIM A FREE FUCKING
CAR, which he didn't much like!!!
Where did he stay? Did they stay together? Did
she lie to her parents, too? Did they have premarital sex?
I'm speculating here, but I bet the answers are
The No-tell Motel, Yes, YES, YES and YES!!!!!
The last scene is the Money Shot you've
probably heard about.
Mitt and his boys frolic playfully in bathing
suits, rasseling the way men do, and pushing
each other into the water. It's supposed to thrill
us gals but, truthfully, I'd say it's probably
helping him most with the Log Cabin Republicans
who should be voting for him anyway.
Regards,
Dogfolks
BartFest
report
by BartCop, last chance
The Pieman
Housekeeping
Vic the Crazed Racist took Thursday off.
That's why there was no Thursday issue.
Take my day job - please!
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Subject: if Jesus's central message was LOVE...
...and TOLLERANCE, how can a hate filled,
exclusionary person
such as yourself claim to represent him?
just curious. i know your whole organisation
is a scam.
it's all about money and control of scared
little sheep.
enjoy your stay in hell, if there is such
a place.
all i know is i want to go where ever you
AREN'T!
dave from joliet
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Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
Shirley Manson of "Garbage"
