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Quotes
"The government released a report today on
Saddam's human rights abuses in Iraq.
The report said 15 million people have
fled their homeland. And today, Mexico said,
"So?” we call that "Thursday” here in
L.A."
-- Leno
Stinger
missiles are being sold in Afghanistan
"Bush Special - $200K each or 7 for $1 million"
Excerpt:
Yet, the CIA (tell
the truth - it was the B.F.E.E.) supplied
hundreds of surface-to-air Stinger missiles to
Afghan guerrillas (tell
the truth - it was Osama) fighting the former
Soviet-backed regime in the late 1980s.
It is estimated that between 50 to 100
missiles remain unaccounted for. Several years ago, the US offered
to buy back the remaining missiles for
$80,000 each. None were reportedly sold.
The B.F.E.E. sent Stingers to their friend and ally Osama to fight the Russians.
...but that's OK, because it didn't involve Clinton's zipper,
so the Bush family gets another
free pass and the press will leave it alone and chase after Chelsea
and fabricate an important story.
Kerry Tax Plan Excerpt:
"Every worker in America would immediately receive
a 765 dollar tax cut and every
two-income family would get a cut of $1,530,"
he said, "money to help families pay
for new school clothes, put a down payment
on a new car or save for the future."
> BartCop Tax Plan
Excerpt:
> Rebate $1500 to every taxpayer two weeks before Thanksgiving.
> Rebate 10% of any income, for a total of $1500.
> Families with two workers could get $3000.
> If Dad, Mom and two teenagers are paying taxes on $15,000 or more,
> the family would get a rebate of $6,000 from the federal government.
> Every person with income qualifies. Retired people, people on Social
Security
> - anybody with taxable income. What could be more fair?
> The middle class would use that $3,000-6000 to make a down payment
on a car,
> buy a washer-dryer, a computer, maybe make some needed improvements
on their home
> - all of which would bring down factory inventories, causing Mr.
Small Business to need
> to replenish his stock, so factories will need to hire more workers
to increase production.
> Cost: If 200 million taxpayers get $1500 =
0.3 trillion dollars
> Compare to Smirk's windfall to the rich =
1.6 trillion dollars
If we had the BartCop
Tax Plan in 2001, the recession would be gone
and
200 million people would've spent $1500 each and factories would
be trying to keep up.
My plan is so simple - I can explain it ...with an IQ of 67.
Bush's military record: an exemplary inquiry
Excerpt:
These crimes are not to be taken lightly,
and I believe that all men and women who serve
America proudly would be shocked that a
soldier was allowed to abuse the system in the
way that George W. Bush allegedly has.
These charges warrant investigation, and until a
satisfactory record of Bush's service is
produced, I can only assume that Bush did indeed
desert his country in a time of war.
From: Char Mac
Subject: Your dissing of liberals
What, according to your definition, is a liberal?
You've been setting this agenda lately (and
I've been
a reader since the get-got) about going
center left.
Is this political horseshit?
And if not, where the fuck are you coming
from?
I'm the fuck coming from the same place I've always been.
I'm not aware of any movement on my part.
Perhaps your anger is preventing you from being specific.
I've always owned guns, I've never been a dove, I'm behind our
military
when there's a reason to go to war, and I hate being in a party
of spineless wimps
who'd rather surrender their lunch money to the bully than kick
his ugly ass.
Today's Democrats are on their knees for Bush, asking him how
he likes it.
Me?
I think they should earn their paychecks and act like the opposition
party.
What, you think I should be coddling the coddlers?
...and you've been reading a long time?
The
coming Supreme Court battle
by Paul Rosenzweig
Excerpt:
The threat of a filibuster might be used
to attempt to force President Bush to name a justice perceived as more
"moderate" by the Democratic opposition.
It remains to be seen just how big a battle will be fought. But make
no mistake, the next Senate battle is looming.
Expect it to hit next July when the term ends and at least one of
the justices announces a retirement.
The Democrats would have to grow a pair between now and July for
this to happen. I expect Bush to
nominate either that bastard Ted Olson or that bastard Ken Starr,
and I fully expect the weenie Democrats
to say, "Sure thing, Dubya. You can
have any democracy-hating, sex-crazed cock-hunter you like.
Don't worry about us, we'll rubberstamp
whichever of Paula Jones's attorneys you prefer."
But
Bart, Ted and
Ken
are great fellas!
Excerpt:
I will seize the opportunity to achieve
big goals." - George W. Bush, from Bush at War
The Bush regime's strategic decision
to seize effective control of the planet translates domestically
as wholesale pillaging of American civil
society. Breathtaking is too weak a word to describe the
scope of what the Republicans have accomplished
under the guise of a War on Terror.
The "opportunity" referred to in Bob Woodward's
new book presented itself in the form of four aircraft
under the control of Osama bin Laden's
adherents. Bush has parlayed the gift - for surely 9-11 is
treasured as a Godsend by Bush and his
crew - to consolidate an approximate corporate coup at
home while smashing the delicate mechanisms
of civilized relations among nations.
Looks like others are starting to take the BartCop view of the B.F.E.E.
Hi Bart:
You wrote:
> I'll say one thing about Christopher Hitchens - he's going after Kissinger's
complicity in mass murder
> with the same zeal he went after Clinton for lying about an affair
with an intern.
I'm not sure you're being fair to Mr Hitchens.
I think he's disgusted by the behavior
of both of these men; men who could and
should do better and he is right to call
them on it, because in both cases it's bullshit.
Thanks for listening,
Scott Parrish
Scott, I think you just said that complicity in mass murder and
lying about sex are "both bullshit?"
Do you really think those two "infractions" are comparable?
Excerpt:
When a former government official is interviewed,
and later retracts or denies what
he or she said, that may create a reasonable
doubt about a story. Frustrated people
sometimes speak in haste and say things
that may be inaccurate. Misunderstandings
and misquotes happen too often. That’s
what the White House claimed when Mr.
Suskind’s last Esquire article appeared
in July, with candid quotes from chief of
staff Andrew Card about his fear that the
departure of Presidential counselor Karen
Hughes would mean unchecked power for Mr.
Rove.
U.S. can target (murder) American al-Qaida agents
Excerpt:
American citizens working for al-Qaida
overseas can legally be targeted and killed by the CIA
under Bush's rules for the war on terrorism,
U.S. officials say.
The authority to kill U.S. citizens is granted
under a secret finding signed by the president after
the Sept. 11 attacks that directs the CIA
to covertly attack al-Qaida anywhere in the world.
The authority makes no exception for
Americans, so permission to strike them is understood
rather than specifically described, officials
said.
I understand we're at war.
I understand this is a fight we can't afford to lose.
But they don't even have to show any evidence to anybody.
For all we know, Paul Wellstone was a "suspected" al Qaeda, which
means the B.F.E.E.
could legally murder him - f-ing legally murder him, because
maybe Bush "suspected" something.
Remember, this power-hungry war-monger is suspected of knowing
9-11 was coming, and he was
not elected to his position - he was appointed
by a crooked court that owed his dad a favor.
How far down this road will the Democrats allow Bush to go?
The
stupidest and most crooked president (not elected)
in
history can murder at will? Anyone he wants?
Bart, it's
just life and death!
You're
so picky sometimes...
Subject: Question
I love your page, and I love what you do,
so as far less and a very unfair exchange
for value when you consider the information
and enjoyment I've received, I sent $50 to Bartcop!
That said, the question -- Thinking people
know that Juannita Brodderick was a lying sack of
Lisa Myers-manufactured crap, but are there
any reaaly good documentation sources out there?
Pete
Pete, not sure I understand.
If you mean documentation on Juanita, she has sworn under oath
that nothing happened between Clinton
and her, only to change her mind when she saw how profitable
the anti-Clinton machine was in 1998.
When she told Lisa Meyers she was raped, and then raped again,
she was not under oath.
Point two, the "beating" she allegedly received from Clinton went
unnoticed by her husband.
It's my guess she bragged to all her little friends that she
enjoyed sex with the handsome Kennedyesque
Arkansas AG, then changed her tune when word of her bragging
got back to her husband.
Other than that, it's a classic "he said, she said," but, as with
Paula Jones, she waited until after
Clinton became president to make her accusations. Could that
be because there's no money to
be made accusing a lowly AG or Governor of a press-loves-it sex
crime?
Bart,
Why is it that us old folks on Social Security
got a 1.4% raise because inflation is
under control BUT got a 9% increase
in Medicare because inflation is out of control?
PFS
ha ha
I'll bet it has something to do with Bush's inability to add and subtract.
a rollingstone.com mention
Complete text:
John Poindexter is right: Scientia
Est Potentia.
That's why we thank the Invisible Cloud
Being for the brilliantly funny, always informative Bartcop...
How come we didn't make the Forward
50? What, we're not Jewish enough?
If you took Latin, you might think that says "Science is the future,"
and it may, prima facia,
but what it means to the B.F.E.E. is "Knowledge is power,"
and they're in the information business.
...but what is the Forward 50? ...and hopefully "not Jewish
enough" isn't another anti-Semitic poke.
(big Al Gore sigh)
I'm neither "cool," not "hot."
I'm so depressed...
If you need a job or a better job than what Smirk's broken economy
allows,
send your resume to Ed and he'll post it for others to see.
I guess it would make
sense to mention if you're willing to re-locate. If Dallas needs
a programmer and
you're stuck in Michigan, might as well say that up-front and
save some time.
Also, Shirley there are some bugs to be worked out.
Ed will handle the details and get back to me.
Click Here to e-mail your resume to Ed.
Send him only the details you want published.
Right now, President Anti-Miracle is down 2 million jobs.
If we can put just one person to work, our record will be better
than his.
From: Housmann
Subject: Love the site!!
Hey, I love the site, I read it all the time....
Where did you get those little boxes of
US corp and their tax rates???
I''d LOVE to get a list of those.....so
I can pound it over the head of my conservative "friends".
Keep up the great work.
H, I wish I knew.
Swear to Koresh, my bartcop@bartcop.com mailbox
(just at work) has over 10,000 unread messages.
I have another 6,000 at BartCop Manor. I think that's what's
causing my mail problems.
But all graphics go into Eudora's attachment folder, and I found
them in there.
Whoever sent these, I'd like to thank them, and possibly commission
more
of them.
There must be hundreds of corporations that got these hueueueuege
refunds, but the
press keeps covering for President Appointed and I'd like to
get the word out.
Abrams
to Head NSC's Mideast Section
Bush promotes another convicted felon his daddy pardoned
to hide crimes
Excerpt:
Iran-Contra figure Elliott Abrams, who
received a pardon from the first President Bush for his role
in the scandal and has served in the White
House for over a year, has been promoted to a key post
among the current President Bush's national
security aides.
He pleaded guilty in 1991 to two misdemeanor
counts of withholding information from Congress.
In court, Abrams admitted he kept information
from two committees in 1986 when he testified about
his knowledge of the secret Contra supply
network and about his role in soliciting a $10 million
contribution for the Contras from the Sultan
of Brunei. Abrams received a Christmas Eve pardon
from President George H.W. Bush in 1992.
They've already been caught once!
Bush pardoned them to hide their crimes, so we'd never know
how serious
their crimes were, and now they're doing it again right before
our eyes!
...and the good puppy press wants to know more about Monica and Chelsea.
Goddamn, I need a drink...
Excerpt:
If Democrats want a realistic chance of
returning to power, they'll have to confront the
entrenched power of the right-wing media
and its cowering acolytes among the Washington
press. Tom Daschle and Al Gore tried recently,
with groaningly predictable results.
What both episodes demonstrate is that
polite, reasoned discourse won't cut it.
Winning this battle will require open confrontation.
Limbaugh couldn't stand up to Al Gore
for ten minutes in public debate, nor to
Sen. John Kerry or any experienced Democrat of
substance. Neither could most of the TV
talking heads. Unless they want to end up looking
as ineffectual as Daschle did last week,
they'd better learn to fight their own fights.
Sopranos
Fever
Mob pathos by BartCop
Sunday is the last episode of the season.
From: John Shuler
Subject: Be angry
Bartcop, be angry and don't
control your temper.
That is the mistake the right has made,
they think we are going to roll over
Maybe the elected Democrats will, but veterans
like me are pissed that Bush is a deserter
and stockholders like me are pissed
that Bush is a corporate criminal, and Americans like me
are pissed that someone is fucking with
our Constitution.
When a penis is involed, conservatives are
apoplectic, but when corporate malfeasance and dead
American servicemen.women are the issue,
they all praise their "man of integrity."
Go BartCop!
The check is in the mail.
R/John
John, thanks for that.
My anger is for real, and it is not manufactured.
That's one reason I look forward to BartCop Radio.
If I get in the mood to let a rant fly, it will be recorded for
others to hear.
I don't like "appointment" anger, like being on a radio show from
2:15 - 2:30.
I might be in a good mood for that 15 minutes, and I can't just
manufacture the rage.
But the next time I'm in a foul mood about something Bush did,
or another freedom that's
been stripped from us by The Crisco Kid, the resulting rant might
even be worth subscribing for.
I've been kidding that sometimes I'll sound like BobCat Goldthwaith
hungover on Cuervo,
but if I turn on the mic when the fury is raging, it'll sound
like George W. Bush's worst nightmare.
Thanks for the contribution.
Too
Much Information
by Hendrik Hertzberg in the New Yorker
Excerpt:
The phrase "total information awareness"
is creepy enough to merit a place alongside "USA Patriot Act"
and "Department of Homeland Security,"
but it is not the Information Awareness Office's only gift to the
language. The "example technologies" which
the Office intends to develop include "entity extraction from
natural language text," "biologically inspired
algorithms for agent control," and "truth maintenance."
One of the Office's thirteen subdivisions,
the Human Identification at a Distance (HumanID) program,
is letting contracts not only for "Face
Recognition" and "Iris Recognition" but also for "Gait Recognition."
(Tony Blair has pledged the full coöperation
of the Ministry of Silly Walks.)
BartCop
Radio is just what the doctor ordered.
If we had enough $10 subscribers, we wouldn't need
no stinking advertisers!
Is bartcop.com worth $10
a month?
Click Here to get links for other amounts
From: David Coyle
Subject: You wacky Yanks!
I was really sorry to read that you're unwell.
I had attributed the short issues
to burnout after your Vegas party and the
Republican gains in the latest elections.
Despite your nuttiness about guns, wimpy
American football, booze, and despite
your nutty notions about the virtues of
the Democrats, ah ..., despite it all you are
a delight to read and reassurance that
just maybe we shouldn't be talking about the
Younazistates of America.
Good on you. Get well soon!
dc
David, sometimes when I get a contribution, I reply, "People like
you keep me going."
One of the reasons I say that is when I don't feel well, or if
I'm just having a bad day, I remember
the people who have sent $5 or $10 and I know they're expecting
a fresh issue most days.
Sidebar:
Some people thought the "sick" issues were
better :)
For maybe the first time ever, I thought Volume 944 had the potential
for greatness, but I ran out
of time and had to publish what I had. Someday, calculations
point to sometime in 2003, I'll have
enough subscribers to quit my day job, and then I can devote
all my attention to this, and not worry
about what busywork my boss is having me do.
Thanks for the note.
Subject: GOP Gaming Search Engines Now?!?!
Thank you, Bart, for all you do.
Couldn't resist checking up on your letter
from "Leslie," who claimed to
have inadvertently discovered that a "browser"
search of "liar slut whore"
was linked directly to Bartcop.com
So I tried it out on Google, selecting the
"I'm Feeling Lucky" button.
It's true, of course. Googling "liar slut
whore" yields Bartcop.com
Yikes! That means that Republicans are gaming
the most widely used search engine on the Web!
Mind control is already in play, Bart.
Thanks for letting me know. I use many search engines,
and had previously trusted Google to be
a pure and logic-driven.
No more. Now, thanks to you, I know that
our Republican Big Brother is already.... everywhere.
Koresh bless you!
Johnny Gold
Johnny, interesting...
I did the same search, and bartcop.com never showed
up.
My heart told me the letter was real, so I published it, but
I never found the connection, myself.
I also think Google can be "trusted."
It's not their fault if they're efficient and being used by Nazi
bastards.
The woman who sent this photograph should be:
...congratulated for a funny
picture
...arrested for cat abuse
...institutionalized for the
safety of the Hayward, CA community
...asked what happened to the
Mousketeer who previously owned the hat
your recommendation.
Nudity in film
Excerpt:
Audiences of both genders and in all age
groups polled by CinemaScore.com
gave Solaris an F
rating, making it the least liked movie of the past 20 years.
You see, this is the difference between men and women.
Halle Berry recently did Swordfish with John Travlota.
It was an extremely bad movie, but she showed her breasts and
it was a big hit.
Solaris is a much better movie, and Clooney shows his
ass, but women don't care.
When people like Michael Medved whine about nudity in films, why
can't he admit
that a showing a pair of cute hooters can turn a disaster of
a movie into a big hit,
once again proving the theory that men are dogs.
For more, visit the all-new 
Subject: Mary Landrieu needs our help
Vote for Mary Landrieu this coming Saturday, December 7.
What does
Marty E! have today?
Bono & Ashley Judd still touring
Charlize plays Britt in 'Peter Sellers'
Will Smith becomes a Robot
'Jerry Springer: The Opera' features Jesus
whooping the Devil to "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"
Gary Glitter is back (Hey!)
Zsa Zsa is going to make it
15th Century UFO's?
click
Quotes
"Yesterday in a speech Saddam called the United
States, "A nation of evil.”
In response Bush called Hussein, "An
evil-doer.”
Then in response to that Hussein then
called Bush, "A viscous demon.”
President Bush then responded by saying,
"Poopy pants!”
-- Conan
Bart,
Another Bush insult to America's (alleged)
intelligence:
Kissinger heading up a 9/11 investigation.
What part of stink can't America smell for
Gods' sakes???
Best to you and Ms. Bart for the Holidays!!
..
Bill
Bill, not sure why, but there seems to be only a few of us who
give a damn.
The Illegal Moron turned Clinton's Paradise into Oil Man's
Hell and nobody cares.
As long as he's not having sex, we don't mind losing our life
savings, going to war,
living in constant fear and that we no longer have a Bill of
Rights or a Constitution.
In the last few days, I've heard the right-wing screechers have
been hammering hom
the "fact" that life is better under Bush, and nose-ring nation
believes everything they're told.
America seems to enjoy being slaves for the Bush Family Evil
Empire.
There's snow on the ground, so Vic won't be in today.
I woke up at 5 AM and threw this half-assed page together.
Pray for sunshine.
Click
to order
She refused to give investigators a hook on which to hang Bill Clinton—so they ruined her life.
She had a choice: Lie and get your life back, or tell the truth and face jail on bogus perjury charges.
Susan McDougal is a trooper!
Kissinger's security background check
Great CD Gift Ideas
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The very best For a gangsta
thug For your guitarist
For Ol' granddad
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ho...
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Shirley of "Garbage"
