...no-pink tutus allowed
POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
TEQUILA-VEGAS
|
||||
|
||||
|
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466....Tulsa, OK 74155 |
|
Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Demo U-Ground Contact us Eric Alterman Gene Lyons Joe Conason MediaWhoresOnline Mike Malloy Project 60 Smirking Chimp Vegas Report Your Ad Here |
EditEasy.com
Please visit our sponsors
Quotes
"Bush wants to cut $300 million from the federal
program that helps needy families pay
their energy bills. By one estimate,
that leaves 438,000 more American families out in the cold.
Back when I was a boy, at the church
in St. Gabriel's parish in Louisiana, we had a word for this.
It's called a sin, a mortal sin. The
kind of sin people go to hell for."
-James Carville, Crossfire,
12/05/02
US
firm buys stake in UK defence labs
The B.F.E.E. will get sooooo rich on Nimrod's never-ending
war
Excerpt:
The Ministry of Defence (MoD) has sold
a third of its defence
research business, Qinetiq, to the US private
equity group Carlyle.
The deal will see Carlyle, whose European
chairman is John Major,
take on some management control at Qinetiq.
But the agreement includes a special clause
allowing the government to stop
Qinetiq's research being shared with other
companies that Carlyle invests in.
The Carlyle Group is run by Poppy Bush!
Whatever Qinetiq is working on will be just the technology that
Bush will need.
He's going to buy war machines from his daddy and get a commission!
They bought John Major's loyalty for the last oil war.
They're buying Tony Blair's loyalty for the next oil war.
Blair will get a piece of the Carlyle action for dragging Britain
into this.
Doesn't anybody care?
Clinton semi-bagged an intern and the media fucking crucified
him for it.
Meanwhile, another Bush bungles America into another bloody
oil war from a botched
pipeline deal, and he's getting the B.F.E.E. to produce the
oil war and we're stuck
paying for Bush's oil war with our life savings and the blood
of our brave young men.
...and the good puppy media plays right along.
Meanwhile, President AWOL is laughing his ass off.
The fighting
is for the stupid people.
I didn't
have to fight because I'm smart!
Cruella
Harris lands key House role
Playing ball with the B.F.E.E. will make you rich, powerful
or both.
Excerpt:
She's been elected to Congress for just
more than a month, but already Katherine Harris has
landed a leadership role in the U.S. House.
The chamber's third-ranking Republican tapped
Cruella, (R-For Sale) as an assistant majority
whip.
The B.F.E.E. owes Cruella big-time. Had she not been willing
to be so flexible with Florida laws,
the guy with the most votes would've carried Florida and been
elected President of the United States
Turkish people say "NO" to Bush's oil war
Excerpt:
New survey says Turks overwhelmingly oppose
the use of a key U.S. air base
in their country in any possible attack
against Iraq, underscoring the difficulties
faced by Turkey's leaders if they assist
in the U.S. campaign against Baghdad.
The survey, directed by the Pew Research
Center, said most Turks opposed letting
the US use Turkey for military action in
Iraq by a margin of 83
percent to 13
percent. .
No problem.
Invite the Turkish leaders to join the Carlyle Group when they
retire, meanwhile
invite them to back a Brinks truck up to the US Treasury and
loot themsleves drunk.
Then let Halliburton build them some secret torture chambers
so they can control
the dissidents who aren't interested in Bush stealing all the
oil in Iraq!
By God,
I better get my secret torture chamber
before
some damn hanky-head Turkeys do. I have
thousands
of liberals, homos, darkies, Al Qaeda
and school
teachers that need secret torturing.
Them Turks
can wait until I'm finished with my fun.
There's not much we can add to this...
States
May Get No Federal Budget Aid
"You're on your own," says Never-elected Moron
Excerpt:
States seeking federal government help
to stop their budget hemorrhaging may have to look elsewhere.
With the exception of paying most of the
increased costs of U.S. domestic security, the federal
government is unlikely to give states more
money, according to Moody's Investors Services.
I don't like this "new" Amerika much.
I liked the old one, Clinton's America a lot better.
Judge
compares Microsoft bullies to Tanya Harding
Calls Bill Gates "a knee-capping bitch"
Excerpt:
U.S. District Judge J. Frederick Motz compared
Microsoft's treatment of
Sun Microsystems to Tonya Harding's knee-capping
of figure skater Nancy Kerrigan
Motz ruminated from the bench Thursday as
attorneys gave their closing arguments.
After assuming for the sake of the analogy
that Kerrigan was the better skater, Motz said:
"Nancy Kerrigan is deprived of the opportunity
to compete on those two good knees."
Witnesses said gates left the courtroom,
"weeping like Bernard Shaw."
Wired
Magazine
recently asked me for a quote.
If you see that, could you let me know?
Wired has more credibility than Salon.com and
Jennifer
Liberto, right?
I mean, they just have to have more credibility than some
old barstool bimbo, don't they?
Hi
Doll, I'm Jennifer Liberto
...and
I'll do anything for a story.
I'm
working in Florida now, after
Salon
fired me for what I did.
Quotes
"The big problem here in New York right now
is the noise.
It’s so loud you can’t hear yourself
scream. It’s gotten so bad
that you need a lip reader to
know you’re being held up."
-- Dave
by Bruce Yurgil
So this is Xmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Xmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Xmas
At least for the strong
For the weak and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Xmas
Not for black but for white
For the Iraqi oil fields
Let's all join the fight
A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear
War is coming, if you want it
War is coming now
Happy Xmas, everybody
Quotes
"Today there was a total eclipse of the sun
in Australia.
Cheney used this as an excuse
to support the oil companies.
He said, 'I told you we
can’t trust solar energy. It’s not dependable.'”
-- Jay Leno
VCR Alert - DeNiro on SNL, and Sopranos tomoro
The
Rightward Press
by E J Dionne Jr.
Excerpt:
Rather than join an outcry against Limbaugh,
the establishment commentary was mostly
aimed against Daschle and picked up the
conservative cry that he was "whining."
Limbaugh was invited for lengthy and respectful
interviews on CNN's "Reliable Sources"
and Tim Russert's show on CNBC.
Limbaugh's new "respectability" is the surest
sign that the conservative talk network is now
bleeding into what passes for the mainstream
media, just as the unapologetic conservatism
of the Fox News Channel is now affecting
programming on the other cable networks.
From: Rude Rich
Subject: Who played the guitar solo on Baby I'm Amazed?
My buddy says Paulzy played all the instruments
on that album.
I say he may be able to play chords but
he can't play a solo like that.
I'm sure someone with your limited musical
tastes must have a sappy
album like that in your collection.
RR
ha ha
Dunno, maybe somebody else knows...
An
Internet Chat with Koko the Gorilla
It reads like a live press conference with President Monkey
Suit
Excerpt:
HaloMyBaby: I'd like to know what
you'd like for your birthday.
LiveKOKO: Birthday. Food and smokes.
HaloMyBaby: SMOKES?
DrPPatrsn: Smoke is the name of her
kitten.
This is trippin' stuff, man.
I'll bet KOKO could testify at a trial.
This isn't a parrot repeating some phonetic patterns.
KOKO is answering questions, like maybe a four-year old
kid.
For her birthday, Koko just wants some good food and her cat "Smoke."
Koko and Smoke
Check it out - Koko is smarter than a Republican
and more loyal than a Democrat.
Click Here (Use IE, not Netscape)
They give the names and addresses of some neighbors, too.
I wonder how Poindexter likes this?
Is it cold where you are?
A "What did Bush Know" sweatshirt from
BartCop
Store No 7 will keep you warm.
Quotes
“I'm toying with the idea of having Al Sharpton
on to ask how he feels about echoing me,
and remind him that I have proclaimed
myself 'America's black leader.'"
-- Rush Limbaugh (R-Racist)
Have
a job opening? Need a job?
Visit the resume page
Click Here to e-mail your resume to Ed. Send him the details you want published.
Right now, President Emotional Landslide is down 2 million
jobs.
If we can put just one person to work, our record will be better
than his.
Article on The Sopranos finale
Tony mounts Ralph's head on a wall.
Reminder from Marty E!
The finale runs 75 minutes, if you're taping it.
Quotes
"The Bush administration is blaming the recession
they can't get us out of. They're blaming
the war on terrorism they can't
seem to win. It's obvious the real culprits are those Bush
tax cuts everybody told him we couldn't
afford when he ran for president. And now we have
proof we can't afford it. He wants
to make them permanent. You know what? This guy inherited
a $5.6 trillion surplus and blew it
all in taking us $3 trillion back in debt."
--James Carville, Crossfire, 12/05/02
Quotes
"Since the Bush administration began, if you
had $100,000 in a 401(k),
you've lost $31,000 in those two years."
-- Frank Lautenberg, Crossfire, 12/04/02
Hey, we lost our life savings and our futures
and we're in a never-ending war,
but as long as the president's not having
sex - that's all we need to be happy.
BartCop Radio is just what America needs.
If we had enough $10 subscribers, we could make Rush and
Bush eat it every day.
Is bartcop.com worth $10
a month?
What does
Marty E! have today?
The Blue Marble is 30 years old today
Letterman Alley protested by Garfield the cat
Seinfeld's 'puffy shirt' auctioned
Bono is delusional
Yoko, Sean & Bijou
click
Great Electronic Gift Ideas
........
Ho...
ho...
ho!
Doing some
Christmas shopping online?
Use the portal below
and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel.
|
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
Shirley of "Garbage"