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 Quotes

“Eminem’s grandmother is writing a book on the rapper's early home life.
  The title of the book is "I’m Eminem’s grandmother and I’m broke.”
     -- Craig Kilborn

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea ratcheted up its standoff with Washington on Tuesday,
 starting repairs at a long-frozen nuclear reactor and warning that U.S. policy is leading to an
 "uncontrollable catastrophe" and the "brink of nuclear war."

 The communist North routinely issues fiery warnings to the United States,
 but the new statements were stronger than usual.
 

 Koresh help us.
 The economy has fallen and it can't get up.
 Pakistan is nuke saber rattling at India and The Ignorant Chimp can't even find "The Pakis" on a map.
 bin Laden has gotten the best of us, the rich get richer and now North Korea is pushing us around.

 Geez, I hark back to the good old days of 2001 when it took a country like China to make us get on
 our knees and beg forgiveness for shit we didn't even do. Now we gotta curtsey to North Korea?

 Call me old-fashioned, but I think the founding fathers had a good idea with the whole "election" thing.
 If we still had the opportunity to have our votes counted, we wouldn't be in this mess.
 But no, the crooked court made a selfish political decision and look at what's happened since...

 George W. Bush (R-AWOL during wartime) and first lady Pickles walk past an honor guard as
 they proceed down the ramp into the pit at the site of the WTC in New York September 11, 2002,
 where Bush gave his solemn vow that bin Laden "would be brought to justice or justice
 would be brought to him."

 Instead of taking personal responsibility for lying to America, and for taking month-long vacations and for
 sleeping thru his presidency like Saint Reagan did, and apologizing for his failures,  Bush told the crowd,
"This was all Bill Clinton's fault.  I'm not responsible for what happens on my watch - that
 responsibility ultimately falls to Bill Clinton." The good puppy corporate press agreed and
 broadcast that message the rest of the year

 I'm so old, I remember when the press was independent of the White House.

Quotes

"If Kenneth Starr really wants to help, he can go on TV
  and say he's a lying bastard. That would help me a lot."
   -- Susan McDougal, to her convicted Judas husband Jim, who kept telling her,
      "Starr's not the beast we thought he was - he just wants to help."

Susan McDougal has some fight in her!
Susan McDougal has what the Democrats need a whole lot of.

 You gotta get this book!

 Books sold thru  bartcop.com  so far = 48
 Maybe if you order two books you get 30% off?
 So consider buying two books, or buy Susan's book and.. and ,
 books by my good friends, Gene Lyons/Joe Conason and David Brock.

 ha ha

 Po Kenny, never had any luck with the babes.

 Nativeson on MIRC Chat won the Fleetwood Mac contest with "Bob Welch."
 He's the guy who left the group just before F Mac became a household word.

 Enjoy your new Vette, Nativeson!

 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
   by Joe Frietze

  Click  Here

  Excerpts:
 The magic was still there. If anything, this section of the film is even more epic in scope.

 In one year, The Return of the King will be released. And it will be a wonderful, awful thing.
 It will be wonderful, because the waiting will be over, and we will finally see all of this epic
 story on the screen. It will be awful, because the waiting will be over, and I am afraid we
 shall never see anything like it again.
 

 Just for the record, I didn't mean it was a bad movie.
 It's a looooong movie about characters and places with which I am not familiar.

 Quotes

"The administration of little Bush is launching a mad campaign based
   on lies and accusations. We must reveal the foul intentions of the
  American administration and its evil aims in the Arab Gulf region..."
     -- Saddam, ranting against a man who giggles when he kills
 

  I guess anyone who'd agree with that would get a visit from the FBI...

 I get mail asking...
"But what if BartCop Radio blows?"

 Well of course it's going to blow - at least at first.
 I have no more business with a microphone before me than I do a keyboard.
 I mean, I certainly ain't no writer, so how could I be a radio DJ?

 Monday night, VH-1 re-ran their "Story of Punk" as a tribute to Joe Strummer.
 What most of the bands like The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, The Go-Gos etc had in common
 was that none of them were very good when they started. Steve Jones of the Pistols said,
"I couldn't play guitar and Johnny (Rotten) couldn't sing, so we formed a band."

 So maybe that's how the radio thing will work. Since I can't "play" the microphone very well,
 yet, I'll just jump around a lot and show some enthusiasm and fake it until it gets better.

 You're a mean one, Mr. Bush
  It may be that his heart is two sizes two small

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 When Bush was running for the presidency in 2000, the feds released their annual report on hunger in America,
 and Texas was once again in its perennial spot at the top of the list, No. 1 in Hunger.

 Bush thought it was some dastardly scheme by the Clinton administration to make Texas, and hence Bush, look bad.
 He denied there were any hungry people in Texas and said, "You'd think the governor would have heard if there
 are pockets of hunger in Texas." Yeah, you would. But look on the bright side: so he didn't know there's hunger
 in Texas after six years in office; after only two years in Washington, he's discovered the problem.
 Sort of.

Quotes

“You can actually disprove some of what Bush is saying if you really get in the weeds
  and get out your calculator, or you look at his record in Texas.  But it’s really easy,
  and it’s fun, to disprove Gore. As sport, and as our enterprise, Gore coming up with
  another whopper is greatly entertaining to us.”
   -- Alleged liberal Margaret Carlson, pretending it would take actual work to catch Bush lying,
       then cackling with glee while alleging that Gore (the guy who won the election) is a serial liar.
 

 Of course, she failed to cite any examples, but I'll bet Rush could fabricate some for her.
 Such as, "I invented the internet and I discovered Love Canal, etc." which Gore never said.

 No wonder we can't win.
 The "liberals" in the media want Gore to lose, too
 Margaret, you're a whore just like Russert, taking your orders from Karl Rove.

 Note: Transcript from dailyhowler.com

Bart,
  I wrote this about a month ago. It is true.

Holy shit!
VH1
(of all things)
just now
played a video
I never knew
existed
 

Clampdown
by
The Clash

it was live
it was great
and
my knees havent
shook
like this
in a long
long
time

Such glory cant
last as
they are now
showing
a Genesis
video
(that real lame one..."Illegal Alien"
a song that probably made more money
that I will ever even be able
to dream about
making)

but
now I am thinking
that
Joe Strummer
may be the coolest
mother fucker
to walk
this holy
Earth

I dedcate this beer
in my thin palm to
you
Joe...

you were
a walking
middle finger
and
for that
you have my
utmost respect
 

Fucking Joe Strummer.
Bart, he was the shit.
He will be sadly and horribly missed.

Kevin Heyne

 Dave entertains the troops in Kandahar

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 David Letterman spent Christmas Day with U.S. troops at a rugged desert base
 in southern Afghanistan where coalition forces have been hunting down suspected
 terrorists for a year, the military said.

 For some, being away from home during the holidays was a first
 Others have been away many times before.

"This is my fourth Christmas in about five years away ... last year I was in Kosovo, the year before
 that Korea, and two years before that, Bosnia," said Staff Sgt. David Smith of Dragoon, Ariz.
 "I'd like to be able to watch them open presents, nothing can replace that."
 

 A special shot of Chinaco for Dave and the brave men and women who
 are away from home this Christmas and working on keeping us safe.

 Is She Dr. Laura or Dr. Strange Love?
  by Robert Sheer, LA Times

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 You wrote, "By honoring our parents, we learn to honor God. By honoring God
 we become decent human beings." You obviously failed that test.

"Even bad parents deserve to be honored if only at a minimal level," you wrote.
 Thus surely "honor thy father and thy mother" intends something more than letting a
 septuagenarian woman go months at a time without even a drive-by visit from her daughter.

 You also wrote: "There is often a profound unwillingness to give anything to a parent perceived
 as being unloving or undeserving.... That avoidance is part of the mentality that says,
 'If it doesn't obviously serve me, I won't do it and I shouldn't have to!' "
 Apparently, that is your mentality.

Subject: Checkout clerk named Rhiannon

Hey, Bart,

Out here on eastern Long Island (New York) there is a Pathmark grocery store
in a town called "Shirley".   Yesterday, while I was  checking out I noticed that
the check out young woman's name tag said "Rhiannon."

I guess her parents were Fleetwood Mac fans.

Your fan from eastern Long Island,
Ronni
 

...and they named a town after my grl Shrl?

 Should we really praise the Ho Ho Jesus Tree?
  by Ye Olde Scribe

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 We can argue until we're as red in the face as Rudolph's nose about Jesus' REAL nature.
 Those who insist it's obvious should be deluged with every different version of the bible
 INCLUDING the Gnostic Gospels and all the REALLY weird stuff out there, like Whacko
 Waco David, comet seekers, etc. Then they should ask themselves a simple question...
 With ALL the powerful people throughout history who had a vested interest in controlling
 the message and the image of Jesus, is it even remotely likely that any one of these texts
 or beliefs remains unadulterated or pure?

 The story that Santa really delivers gifts to everyone in the world on Christmas by going down
 your chimney, even if you don't have one or it leads directly into the furnace, is MUCH more believable.

 Quotes

"New York City is in a fiscal crisis. Money is tight here.
  This is how bad it is – I was out walking through Central Park
  on my lunch break and I saw a squirrel marking down its nuts.
     -- Dave

 Farewell Al, We Hardly Knew You
   by Marc Ash

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Who will be the Democratic front runner in 2004? who cares?
 No candidate, Democratic or otherwise, has a prayer of defeating George W. Bush
 as long as Mr. Bush is not held accountable for his actions.  Bluntly stated, this is
 -- by far -- the most corrupt and criminal administration the country has ever known.
 Why is war so urgent?
 Because without it Bush and his friends would likely be going to jail.

  Every day is Christmas for Bush's super-rich contributors
 White House to Push More Tax Cuts
 for the Wealthy as Deficits Skyrocket

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Many economists are skeptical that a cut in dividend taxes would provide much immediate
 stimulus to the economy, which has been Mr. Bush's most important justification for new
 tax cuts. It would be at least a year before shareholders see any extra money, and the
 measure would not leave extra money in corporate coffers.

"One wouldn't think of this as the first or second or even third measure to stimulate
 consumption or investment," said Alan Auerbach, an economist at the University of
 California at Berkeley who has studied the issue for years.

 Tax advice - only a few more days for 2002!

 Spending money on advertising is a business expense.
 Advertising on  bartcop.com  makes good business sense.

 If you send money to PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK 74155,
you'll make the pie higher,
you'll grow your business bigger
you'll make big money like a soulless Republican.
you'll probably go to Heaven

 Remember - it pays to advertise on  bartcop.com - read by dozens.

 America's Corporate-Owned Mass Media: Right-Wing to the Core

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Jim Hightower had a hugely popular talk-radio show based in Texas and broadcast throughout the country.
 It was one of the fastest-growing political programs in the United States, poised to get Rush-Big.
 Americans loved his witty, homespun, Will Rogeresque, common man (and woman) viewpoints.

 So what happened to his show? It got axed. Why did it get axed? It was profitable, it was popular,
 and it was growing. It got axed because Mr. Hightower wasn't a rightwing, pro-corporate mouthpiece
 like the Wills and Norths and Liddys and Limbaughs and all the rest. He openly discussed America's
 shameful disparity in wealth, he attacked the 2-Party Dictatorship. He told Americans how money has
 so corrupted our democratic system. In short, he was a progressive populist who told it like it was-a
 mortal sin in U.S. Mass Media. When you tell it like it is, you are erased from media existence.
 That is the power of our Monopolized Media.
 

 But, if there was a radio show supported by $5 and $10 subscriptions, they can't shut us up.
 There's nothing they can do if we don't have to depend on them to stay on the air.

  Is  bartcop.com  worth $5 a month?

  Click  Here   to go crazy and get BartCop Radio started tomoro!

Quotes

"The guy likely to replace Lott is Tennessee Senator Bill Frist, who was a
   heart transplant surgeon before he came to the Senate. Being a heart surgeon,
   he knew exactly where to plunge the dagger."
   -- Leno, with a better-than-usual formula joke

 Every day is Christmas for the super-rich
 Blue Christmas for retailers
 Retailers report anemic holiday sales

 Click  Here

  Comment:
 Our economy has turned to crap. Unemployment is at levels not seen since Bush 41 screwed us.
 Major retailers have been forced into bankruptcy. McDonald's is having trouble making a profit,
 but the super-rich are getting super-richer, buying billion dollar companies for a dime on the dollar.

 ...and the Democrats are content to watch and fiddle while Bush burns Rome to the ground.

  What Bush did to the retirees who invested in America

 The Bureau of the Public Debt today announced that Series HH savings bonds issued on and
 after January 1, 2003, will earn 1.5 percent interest for their initial 10-year maturity period.
 The new rate replaces the 4.0 percent rate that has been in effect since March 1, 1993.

 Have a job opening?   Need a job?

  Visit the resume page

  Click  Here  to e-mail your resume to Ed.
  Send him whatever details you want published.

 Quotes

“I'm not calling myself Jesus.
  I'm comparing the stress and pressure to Jesus."

 Who said it?

Karl Rove
Tanya Harding
Ron Jeremy
Rude Rich
Michael Jackson
Clarence "Slappy" Thomas
Bono
Smirky McWarhardon

 Quotes

"I used to think the Klan were OK until I found out some of them were 'pot smokers.'"
  --Alabama Republican Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, during a 1981
    murder investigation involving the Ku Klux Klan

 Lott's Wife
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"...it wasn't liberal Democrats who brought Lott down, it was conservatives. Absent White House leaks,
 the anti-Lott media frenzy wouldn't have lasted three days. "Republicans may once have used race to
 polarize the electorate, especially in the South," the Wall Street Journal editorial page said Thursday.
 "But that strategy long ago stopped being useful." On Friday, Lott resigned.

 A Real Christmas

 In honor of baby Jesus, I called one of the old drug dealers from the Hard Rock Island
 and had a couple of grams of myrrh delivered to smoke with my Chinaco over the holidays.

 I hadn't done any myrrh since the club days, which ended in 1987.
 Mrs. Bart never got into myrrh, she said it just made her sleepy, but I liked it a lot.

 Sidebar:
 Last time I did some myrrh, I did perhaps too big a hit, and I passed out standing up and when I fell
 I broke this little plastic table that she likes so we glued back together and now it holds my HP scanner
 which works perfectly because it's not connected to the computer that uses Windows XP.

 Yeah, Christmas at BartCop Manor...
 A little Zeppelin NY 75 (Isn't it strange how snow changes the vibe of the city?), some Clash,
 some Andy Williams... (In case my family is reading...)  Snow on the ground, a shot of Chinaco Anejo,
 an X-Files marathon to keep her happy, some Indian Brand Pumpkin Seeds by NY's Agress Seed and
 Nut Co. (priceless) a lung full of trashy dirt weed, some extra-Catholic Frankinsence (sp?) that f-ing rocks
 from St Louis's Soulard Market (this stuff is at least as good aswhat the Catholics use.  Swear to Koresh, this is
 connies, ...connosi, ...connesisewer, ...this is the best Frank ever, and a few overprices grams of some street myrrh.

 I told Mrs. Bart, "Good thing you married me, eh?"

(allowing time for the laughter from the crowd to die down.....)

 ...if only I had ordered my South's Finest Chocolate in time...

 Have a Merry Koreshmas and a Chinaco New year!

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              Shirley