Sent by God to save the Democrats POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
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Quotes
"War is not inevitable"
-- Tony Blair, lying for the B.F.E.E.
George Bush wants this war more than he wants to see his twins
grow up.
When you're as stupid as The Texacutioner, you need simple goals,
like "Kill Saddam."
That's all his pea-sized brain can process at a single setting.
Chris the Screamer said that's
what made Bush the right president for these times. None of that
fancy thinking needed,
just kill somebody to satisfy his political base since Bush can't
(or won't) find Osama.
How
to solve the North Korean crisis
I suggest we handle it the same way we handled the China spy
plane crisis
Have President Weak and Stupid get on his knees and beg North
Korea for forgiveness.
If that doesn't work, Bush can beg them, "Please
forgive us," and if that doesn't work,
Bush can say, "We're very sorry. Please
forgive us," and if that doesn't work, Bush can
get down and crawl on his knees like a broken puta and beg them,
"Please forgive us.
We are very, very sorry," and
then good puppy media would proclaim Bush the
"victorious victor," who achieved "complete victory" with "dignity
and leadership."
If Bill Clinton ever got on his knees and begged the Chi-Comms
to forgive us,
the Republicans would physically drag him from the White House
and lynch him.
But since the Unelected Fraud has done it - the American press praises his cowardice.
Quotes
"Bush showing lots of patience"
-- headlines on every radio
and TV broadcast, and in every American newspaper Monday
Karl Rove sure earns his paycheck, doesn't
he?
He ordered every B.F.E.E.-held media
outlet in America to broadcast that message
- that Bush isn't the oil-hungry, war-mongering
fool the world thinks.
And the good puppy American press is nothing if not obedient.
Pete the Perv?
Excerpt:
Townshend, who believes he was abused as
a child, has admitted using his credit card
to access one [kiddie porn] site but argued
he was merely investigating for a future
book and
had in the past worked "tirelessly" against
pedophilia.
Poor Pete.
I'm afraid the word "future" is what makes him seem guilty.
If he had most of a book wrotten, say 13 chapters, and Chapter
14
was about his abused childhood, he miiiiiiight have half
an excuse.
And don't have a cow, but I have a slight problem with a person
being arrested
for "illegal clicking of a mouse," but I guess the credit card
makes the difference there.
It's tough to say you "accidentally ran across" a kiddie porn
site with your credit card out.
Plus, there's more to this story:
British media was awash with speculation
on Tuesday that other high-profile figures from the arts,
and two prominent politicians, were also
on the Operation Ore list of suspects. But police were
staying tight-lipped. Their list was drawn
up from a Texas-based Internet child porn ring.
Thanks to Elline of Bloomington for the great Racist
Reagan opening picture.
That's Reagan's Ranch, where the negro lawn jockey amuses Reagan's
racist friends.
Remember, that's why Reagan left the Democratic party, because
they were pushing for
civil rights for black Americans, so Reagan said, "Screw that
crap," and left for the racist GOP.
Quotes
"I've been selected as a target by the
left because I embrace traditional family values."
-- Laura the Unloved
No, Laura, that's not it.
You made yourself a target when you sold your values for Limbaugh
money.
I'm so old, I remember when you took callers from gay men who
asked for advice
about dating, relationships, in-laws, etc. But then you figured
out you could turn your
hundred million dollars into two hundred million by joining
the Party of Bigots and Racists.
You were once a champion of children. I remember you passionately
arguing against guns
in a home with children, but that goes against the NRA's/GOP's
principles, so you abandoned
your "guns bad" position for one that would pay better. Screw
those dead kids, right Laura?
You're a whore, Schlessinger.
Your insatiable greed made you a target.
Saying that you're a target because you support "traditional
family values"
is just another stupid lie from a prostitute with a history of
stupid lies.
By the way, Laura...
God doesn't allow liars into Heaven.
Bill Clinton will be waving to you from inside when St Peter
says, "Go to Hell."
Last night I was cruising some lib sites and found a gem at Steve's Political Page
> Patrick Ford wrote:
> I am sadden that so many liberals are
more loyal to the Democratic party than to democracy.
If I'm not mistaken, this is the same Patrick Ford who was declared
a homosexual in 1993 to millions
of ditto-monkeys listening to G. Gordon Liddy because of a fax
he read from Tulsa, OK (cough)
I don't know which back issue the story's in, but a decade ago
on the Prodigy Radio BB,
I was giving some monkeyspanks the red-ass, Patrick Ford and
some other guy, I forget the name.
Each time I put them in a rhetorical box, they'd refuse to answer
because, as you know,
anyone who agrees to take the BartCop Quiz instantly becomes
a liberal.
Since they cheated, I got even by sending Liddy a fax with
their names on it which read,
"Every four years, the GOP talks about a 'big
tent' and then they go back to discriminating
against homosexuals like Patrick Ford
and myself. Will this continue?" signed (the other guy)
When Liddy read that on the air, to millions of people, I laughed
so
hard.
I laughed for a good two hours and got a tremendous headache.
When I got home that night, the Prodigy BB subject header was:
"Liddy scammed, BartCop suspected."
ha ha
That may have been the funniest moment of 1993 for me.
So - a shot of two-day old Cuervo Gold for Patrick
Ford,
who's still the same spanking ditto-monkey he was back in 1993.
Thanks to the Taggarts
Quotes
“If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be
62 years old.
Through his tireless work as a legislator,
Edward Kennedy
would have brought comfort to her in
her old age.”
-- veteran Globe
staffer Charles Pierce, Boston Globe Magazine
I'm curious...
How old would those 240 killed-in-Beruit marines be if Saint
Reagan
had not personally insisted they be housed on land for
political reasons
instead of ships whwre they'd be safe (pickup trucks don't fly)
like the Joint Chiefs repeatedly requested?
Never trust a Republican Cowboy with troops
Who remembers what Reagan did next?
That's right - he invaded Grenada to get everyone's mind
off the 240 dead marines
which was the first use of the "Wag the dog" scenario the press
says Clinton invented.
Hey - anything to protect the faked legacy of Red-Ink Reagan, right?
A very interesting story...
Benefits:
See Iraq
Might meet Whistle Dick Cheney
Protection by the biggest mob on Earth
Guaranteed to die rich (See #2)
Might meet Herrendo Revolver
Carlyle stock options available
Get to kill Iraqi goat herders
Depending on overtime, could earn millions
No conscience a plus
One of the jobs to fill is "Weather Observer."
Hell, I could do that. Observe the
weather?
I've been doing that since I was a little
Catholic.
I'll bet, with training, even Bush could
observe the weather.
Wait, jokes aside, the ad says they need mechanics to work on
M1 Abrams and M2/3 Bradleys
Holy Jesus!
Halliburton is going to make hundreds of billions.
Remember a few years ago when Sears was swindling every old lady
for whom
they did car repairs? What do you think a crooked company with
a crooked CEO
overseen by a crooked Pres and VP can earn by double and triple
billing Uncle Sam
for non-existent tank repairs? I bet spare parts is no
problem - they can use the
perfectly-good parts they took off the tanks to rebuild them
and bill the government.
Is this what Cheney meant in the VP debate when he said he got
all those millions without
any help from the government, ...and Joe Lieberman laughed
and agreed with him?
Congress and President Extra-Stupid have already signed these
contracts.
The money's already gone!
All we need now is a war.
This is why Cheney (5 heart attacks) gave up a $24,000,000
salary - to steal billions.
Kill
him! Kill BartCop right now!
He's
too close to the truth!
Stirring
up trouble, ...asking questions...
I
wanna kill!
This'll
be like self-defense!
I
wanna kill!
For
the "safety of America"
I
wanna kill!
Quotes
"David Frum, the former Bush speechwriter whose
recollections of the Bush White House
hit the book stores this week says
that in last years State of the Union he was ordered to
“provide a justification for war.” Notice
the wording of that statement. Frum wasn't given
intelligence briefings containing the
justification and asked to come up with powerful
phrases to rally the public behind
the just cause. He was told to create the justification.
The war decision had already been made
and the target was to be Iraq."
--Mike McArdle, The Poodle and The
Puppeteer, democraticunderground.com
Subject: Bartcop website
You couldn't be more wrong if you were HITLER!
Dan Beesh
ha ha
Another good argument from the Party of Racists and Bigots
Observations On The Cusp Of Armageddon
VCR
Alert - You won't believe this, but tonight on
24,
Kimberly gets kidnapped again!
On NYPD Blue, Andy and Connie argue about Theo, and Saved
by the Bell gets caught with a
big-ass bag of heroin, which I'll miss because The Shield
and The Osbournes are on tonight.
I didn't get to it last week, but did you see the premier of The Shield?
The season opened with a lieutenant from each of LA's two major
heroin-dealing gangs
getting necklaced (burning tire around their necks) for no apparent
reason. They died.
Then Vic, the hero/crooked cop finds out his heroin has been laced
with poison by Necklace Man
who lives in Tijuana. So Vic and his gang of thugs go to
Tijuana to get even. They try to buy guns
from the locals (and end up just getting robbed), so they decide
to take down this Pablo Escobar-dude
by using only their hands. They grab him off the street and drive
him to a secluded part of Tijuana.
As you might guess, Necklace man gets a tire around his neck and
then doused with gasoline.
Vic starts flicking his Bic... closer, ...closer, ...closer,
...closer, ...until Necklace man cries "Uncle."
Vic says he wants $400K to not roast him and Pablo agrees.
But when the exchange goes down,
Vic takes the $400K and fails to dump Pablo, so Pablo's gang
fires a torrent of bullets into the car.
So - they're in Mexico, with a rented car shot full of holes,
$400K in cash and a bad-ass drug dealer
who's not happy about his situation. Vic decides to smuggle the
drug dealer and the $400K in cash
past the border guards in the trunk of the shot-to-hell rental.
How can they do that? They quickly locate
a pharmacia and fill the drug dealer's stomach with roofies -
he's not going to wake up at the border.
Well, it eventually worked, but there was that same kind of tension
like when Tony and Christopher
are trying to dig a hole on someone else's property so they can
bury Ralphie's head. I think 24
is a
good show but The Shield is the Tuesday night thriller
that gives you more bang for your viewing buck.
Subject: Thank you for "Since Bush became president... "
Im glad you are on the web and are telling
like it is.
Your musings on “Since Bush became
President” were right on target.
Despite all the crap out there, it looks
like Shrub’s own party is beginning to turn against him.
We would gadly support your site if we
were working.
However, since Dumya came into office we
have:
- lost our jobs
- lost our cars
- lost our
home
- have lost our
retirement accounts
- have had to
declare bankruptcy
- have had to
move in with my partner’s mother
Despite 18 months of looking, college degrees,
stellar track records in our previous jobs,
we can’t find jobs OF ANY kind and most
of our friends are in the same boat.
I can’t wait for the next election. It
should be interesting.
Warm regards and keep up the good work.
The Nichols family.
Hang in there.
The new president takes office in 105 weeks.
Who said it?
"Hawaii is a unique state.
It is a small state.
It is a state that is by itself.
It is a --it is different from
the other 49 states.
Well, all states are different,
...but it's got a particularly
unique situation."
Dan Quayle
ha ha
Trent Lott wishes...
Dear Bartcop:
A check for $30.00 is on its way to you
by regular mail. I wish it could be more,
but even so I am honoured to add my grain
of sand to Bartcop Nation and support
your mandate to re-attach the cojones back
on the Democratic party.
I can't thank you enough for the work you
do.
And please take very good care of yourself,
because we need you!
Sincerely,
Lilly
From: Asteriwien
Subject: bartcop,hes gone, come and take me
Im at home.
Im all alone.
My boyfreinds gone.
Come and have your way with me now.
Thousands of lonely deprived woman are sitting
at home all alone right
now wishing someone would come and have
their way with them.
They could be as close as next door, you
could be the one,
and you can find them right here...
Asteriwien, (by the way, is that a name or did you sneeze while
typing?)
Sorry, I could never have sex with a woman with poor spelling
and bad sentence-building skills.
It would remind me too much of the man some call "Mr.
President."
Have a job opening? Need a job?
Over 30 resumes, but since we're under illegal occupation, nobody is hiring.
Click Here
to e-mail your resume to Ed.
Send him whatever details you want published.
Friends
let friends EAT FARMED
SALMON
Support
Alaskan wild Salmon fishermen!
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Quotes
“You got to go back to Teapot Dome to find
such a fleecing.
This time it's legal. Bloomberg reported
that Bush himself,
$44,000 tax break here. Dick Cheney,
$327,000 tax break.”
-- Al Hunt on Capital Gang
The AMA Awards
...
Do you think Heidi Klum and Shania Twain knew they'd be on TV
last night?
Have you ever seen women this good-looking looking this bad?...in your
whole life?
Heidi looks like she belongs in the next Kylie Minogue video, (not a
compliment)
and I'll bet The Fagawi are wondering what happened to their Chief's
daughter, Shania.
Sheryl
Crow won best shirt
Britney
won best appearance
by a non-performer
Spade introduced
Aguilera as
"her first
gig with clothes on."
Carmen
Electra was there because
...she
was once married to a sexually
confused
basketball player?
There were also some music awards,
but most of those were won by Eminem.
Check Marty's
E! page
Rolling Stones tickets
Nicole Kidman got a star
Jennifer Aniston broke a toe
Anna Kournikova has a heat patch
(Only one?)
VNS put to sleep, BFEE wins all further elections
Mike Tyson is dating again
"I mo bite you!"
Hey Bart,
Where do you get those little blue net tax
graphics?
Are they all collected somewhere?
fwv
Some dude sent those, I wish he'd send more.
They're from some Tax protest page, I've been there, but did
I mark it?
Noooooooooo.
Please, Mr. Tax Chart Maker,
make us some more tax charts - they're damn effective.
Why
is America going bankrupt?
Bush gave OUR Social Security surplus to his contributors
..
Look at that again - Ford got 5.4 BILLION
dollars of our Social Security money.
Whose money is that, President Monkey in a man
suit?
And how many people did FORD hire?
F-ing Zero
So why did they get that money?
To prop up the Illegal Oil Puppet with unearned donations
for another four years?
bartcopradio@yahoo.com
is now a valid address.
That's what I need - another mailbox to
check!
Please send all BCR
stuff to that address.
Bush's Wartime Tax Cut
Excerpt:
Old question: What did you do in
the war, Daddy?
New answer: I pocketed a large tax cut, honey. And then I passed the bill for the war onto you.
Thanks to Mike Bean
Should
we give up?
Or
should we resist?
I say we fight back!
If we had BartCop Radio, supported by pennies-per-day subscriptions,
they
couldn't shut us up.
Let's take the fight to them. Pardon my French, but fuck
a bunch of defense.
Let's go on offense and make their heads spin until they're
too dizzy to lie to us again.
Somewhere, a rich liberal telling themselves,
"This BartCop Radio thing just might be a
hoot.
I should send him a check for $50K
just to see what happens."
We're ready Mr Sorkin, Mr Sheen, Mr Baldwin, Mr Williams,
Ms Streisand!
Of course, you'd have no editorial control, but I think you'll
really like the results.
Is bartcop.com worth $5
a month?
Is the freedom to say anything we want worth five or ten dollars?
They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
The Internet Resistance is all we have.
Click Here to get BartCop Radio sooner rather than later
Bush's
job approval rating drops
Reality sets in after his Osama boost
Excerpt:
Bush's job approval rating is 58
percent, a five-point decline since last week
and the first time it has dipped below
60 percent since the terrorist attacks.
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online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com a nickel.
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© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley