The time to start fighting back was the summer of 2000 POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
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Quotes
"Right now we are on the brink of global catastrophe.
That's why eight million people
around the world hit the streets, almost
none of them actors, on Saturday. And that's why
there is so much resistance to this.
This is a manufactured war at this point. There has been
a war on the people of Iraq since 1990.
The plan to go into Iraq for hegemony over the region
has been in play for a very long time
and the ideologues in this administration want to go in.”
--Janeane Garofalo, MSNBC
Excerpt:
North Korea. Pyongyang's nuclear program
was built up during the 1970s and '80s,
and the plutonium possibly used to make
one or two nuclear weapons was created
before Clinton took office. It was Clinton
-- taking a firm stand, as opposed to the
current confused posture of the United
States -- who froze North Korea's plutonium
production operation. Were it not for Clinton's
leadership, North Korea would have
enough plutonium to make at least 50 nuclear
bombs today.
Quotes
"If you want young people to vote in this country
and if you want the 50 percent
of adults over 30 to vote in this country
that do not vote in today's election,
then we had better stand for something,
because that's why they're not voting.
Stand for something" or fall again
to President Bush."
--Howard Dean at a meeting of Democratic party activists
Prediction:
When President Happykill starts his oil war, Saddam will probably
launch whatever weapons
he has against Israel. He will also attempt to set fire to every
oil well in Iraq. ...and if he's not
successful at setting fire to each well, the military will do
it for him.
It's just too perfect, because when every oil well in Iraq is
destroyed or damaged, America will
need to hire somebody with oilfield equipment experience to get
in there and repair thousands
and thousands of wells to get the post-war rebuiling started,
right?
This, of course, will take a contract worth multi-billions of
dollars. Also, since Russia
and much of Europe depend on Iraqi oil, there will be bonuses
paid for early completion.
Flaw in the plan:
In order for this to work, Bush and Cheney will need to find
a company up to the job,
which will be tough. I mean, where are they going to find a company
that can go to Iraq
and refit thousands of damaged oil wells that ...what?
...who? ...Halliburton? ...Really?
Dick Cheney used to run an oil field equipment company that can do the job?
What are the odds?
This is another reason they're invading Saddam. The money Halliburton
makes from this job
would be reason enough for the B.F.E.E. to steal the presidency,
but they won't stop there.
We've got to think like the B.F.E.E. for a moment:
Since Cheney sold the original equipment to Saddam, he knows
each piece of equipment.
He knows every pump, every weld. every pipe, every rig that Saddam
has.
They're not going to destroy ANY oil field equipment.
They're going to CLAIM the thousands of wells were destroyed so
Cheney can get
Halliburton to bill the taxpayers for refitting thousands of
wells that were not destroyed.
NOW we're thinking like the B.F.E.E.
Small-time crooks would ruin the wells and actually do the work.
This way, they just submit a secret bill to the taxpayers for
work never done.
Cheney's as clever as Smirk is ignorant.
They'll just claim the wells were destroyed, and with Cheney directing
the rebuilding
effort that's not really rebuilding anything, he'll insist on
the bonus for "early completion,"
so the B.F.E.E. can pockets tons more billions without
doing any work at all.
Mark this page, or at least remember that the unemployment
issue is the one where
Bart predicted the B.F.E.E would bill us for "well repairs"
that never took place. Somehow, they'll
get caught, and the Democrats can be counted on to NOT investigate
this trillion dollar ripoff
because Mr Rove wouldn't like that.
Whatever
Mr Rove wants, Mr Rove gets.
Dubya
is a good man. He's my president.
Quotes
''Our 'president,' having lost the election
by a half-million votes, has succeeded brilliantly
in turning the whole world anti-American.
In fact, the Supreme Court delivered the United
States into the hands of the hard-right,
imperialist, fundamentalist, death-penalty wing of
the Republican Party (the president's
''base''). The administration has offended by its
insensitivity, its arrogance and its
cement-headed imperialism the ordinary people of
Europe--including our English allies
and, heaven save us all, the Irish. And the pope!
Nice going, Mr. President!"
--Andrew Greeley, No sympathy for American devil,
suntimes.com
Bart,
I heard a news item yesterday about Bush
41 getting involved in a literacy project for Afghan women.
Could it be that, after that CNN poll Wolf
Blitzer did on Ronald Reagan's birthday showed Bill Clinton,
of the last four former presidents, was
the most admired by a country mile, that it may finally have
sunk in to George H.W. Bush's patrician
brain that people don't much admire ex-presidents who
take $5 million payoffs from the Moonies,
and shill for the Carlyle Group?
So did Poppy decide a little image-polishing might be in order?
DUH!! Ya think?
Keep hammering, Bart!
I await Bartcop Radio with bated breath!
Ann from Philly
Subject: Truth and Reality
Thanks for stating the obvious!
I'm truly amased at the way the media has
been
catagorized as liberal and the GOP get's
away with it!
Jack M. Jones
geobat.com
Quotes
"God is not in the business of protecting us
from harm,
and no amount of good behavior will
keep us safe.
For evidence of this, see the cross."
--Barbara Brown Taylor, Episcopal priest
The
new Bill Maher HBO Show
I can't say enough good things about his first show.
First - they use the language most Americans use. This is very
important.
Not that I'm jonesing to hear the word "fuck," but when they
say that word, it reminds you
that you're hearing PURE political opinions. If they let
you say that word, they'll let you say
"Bush is a drunken, blood-thirsty moron who
has an insatiable hardon for war."
That's all I want - pure opinions that aren't affected by the
Republican sponsors.
As you know, Maher was fired from his last job for saying something
that whitey didn't like.
Well, he'll one day fall to low ratings or burnout, but at least
he won't be shut down for
expressing an opinion different from that of Karl Rove.
Does Bill Maher read bartcop.com?
It put me in such a good mood, I wasn't upset when Bill borrowed a little something.
Live on Friday night, 10: 30 CST, Bill said,
"New rule - no more whining about the French.
At least they're standing up to Bush,
which is more than we can say about the Democrats."
From Friday's Volume 1003 - Bush bait & switch (posted nine hours earlier)
> Even the French are fighting the Illegal Moron more than the Democrats.
It's OK, Bill.
You can borrow anything you want - just use your powers for good,
not evil.
More from that show later in this issue.
Bono Honored As 2003 MusiCares Person Of The Year
Excerpt:
Bono did not take the red-carpet route
circumventing the thickets of politics and bureaucracy.
Nor did he preach to the converted. Rather,
he converted the preachiest of conservative forces
aligned against foreign aid and social
change. He persuaded Bush to increase foreign aid spending
by $5 billion. Right-wing senator Jesse
Helms reversed his stand on AIDS funding after going a
few rounds with Bono, who also massaged
a new sensibility into Paul O'Neill during a trip to Africa.
Quotes
"Bush remained undeterred by the massive display
of American opposition,
even though much of it came from the
voters who supported him by voting for Nader."
--Jon Stewart, on anti-war protests
As you might've gathered from the title of today's issue,
Unemployed,
that's exactly the position I'm now in.
It was the cushiest job I ever had (and one of the lowest-paying)
and the end
didn't come at the greatest time - I would rather have waited
a little longer,
but here's the short version of what happened:
Our loan program was going crazy, which meant we needed a new
program
which might've required hundreds of hours of my time invested,
and who has
that kind of time when we're about to go to war with that Insane
Gilligan in charge?
So I told the boss that I perhaps needed to move on. He was OK
with that, (which hurts :)
He's looking forward to saving that hueueuege $28K
he was paying me each year.
The good news? We are much closer now to BartCop
Radio. I mean, it was always
"in the pipeline," but now the pipeline has run out and we're
ready to do the BartCop thing full-time.
Woo Hoo!
No more part-time hammer in a full-time war!
Clarification:
I don't have enough money to quit this job, but we're gaining
subscribers at a rate
that gives me confidence that the chasm can eventually be bridged,
if that's a phrase.
I'm getting help from Tommy Mack, BartCook and Cliff the Consumer
Consumption dude.
They are helping me with equipment, hardware, software, formatting
and stuff. I said
"Give me some equipment and 30 days
to play with it," and I'm ready. I could be outfitted
in the next week or two so, swear to Koresh, we could be webcasting
before you know it.
Maybe we should target April 15th as a starting date.
Isn't this exciting?
Wish me luck, and consider joining the team!
Reminder: Our silent benefactor is still matching all
new subscriptions.
Help make BartCop Radio an April
thing,
rather than a May-June
thing.
Is bartcop.com worth $5
a month?
Thanks to Bruce Yurgil
They own the TV networks, the major papers and talk radio.
The Internet Resistance is all we have.
Click Here to support BartCop Radio
Quotes
"Our oil is in Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana,
Wyoming, New Mexico, Alaska, etc.
but all the dipsticks are in Washington,
DC."
-- Andy Rooney
Thanks to Phyllis
More
from Bill Maher's HBO premier
Watch for reruns, it'll run three more times on regular HBO.
"In case of a terrorist attack, you need to
have these four itens:
Duct tape, fresh water, a non-electric
can opener and a battery-powered radio
so you can tune in and hear Rush Limbaugh
blame everything on Bill Clinton."
Then something fantastic happened. You know how cool it is when
someone says
something so goddamn funny that you lose patience waiting for
the oxygen to leave
your lungs so you can gulp some more because you have more laughter
in you to get out?
They (Maher, Ann Slanders, Larry Miller and a black guy I didn't
know named "Mike)
were talking about affirmative action which Ann is violently
against because that means
a black person might end up with a piece of the pie.
Well, guess who walks out? He wasn't billed, he just walked
on (I'm sure it was planned)
Chris Rock, the funniest man on the planet.
He didn't even sit down, he was just there a moment, but he launched into Slanders.
"Are you fucking the president?
What the fuck is wrong with you? Trying
to stop affirmative action?
A hundred years ago, they fucking lynched
blacks for trying to read books,
and all these years later you're STILL
trying to hold us back?"
I thought I was gonna die.
Chris Rock was bitch-slapping the bitch who needs it the most.
Damn, it makes me want to get BartCop radio flying just as soon
as possible.
Please God, let me get it up before the bombs start dropping.
Hell, when there's big-time breaking news, we may have
to blow off whatever
scheduling we have and just suddenly go to the hot microphone
to be in on the moment.
Isn't this exciting?
I know Maher's show can't be this good every week, but knowing
it might be
is what makes HBO on Friday night at 11:30 EST must-see
TV.
The Vidiot is pissed again
So I called the unholy bastards at SBC and told them to disconnect
my DSL
since my cable modem was working faster and cheaper. The
woman says,
"We could've given you that DSL for $35 a
month," so I said,
"So why the hell didn't you? You charged me $50 for over three years!"
She said "You have to ask for
the new rate," the slut. Like I have time to call
every utility every month to ask if I can get my contracted-for
fees lowered.
American business greed will screw every customer for every
dime they can.
And when they get caught, they say, "Golly
Gee! How did that happen?"
You know what really pisses me off? When you work for one
of these
conglomerate monsters, they give you this clumsy handjob about
how
"The customer is king," and
"Remember,
he's our boss."
Handjobs is what it was.
The year Elvis died I worked at Arby's.
They had a poster on the wall that each employee had to sign.
It was a list of reasons why customers don't come back.
At the top, it said, "One percent of
our customers die." Then (making this up)
"Four percent move away, eight percent do
'X' and 'Y,' " then at the bottom, it said,
"Forty percent don't come back because they
felt they got screwed," and then
they'd give us a list of ways to screw the customer out of an
extra penny with each visit.
SBC could've kept my business for years and years, but they wanted
to screw me MUCH
more than they wanted to give me a fair deal at a fair price.
I can see screwing the customer
to maximize profits, I can see lying to the customer to squeeze
anooooooooooooooother nickle
out of him, but why lie to ourselves?
Why bother with the stupid "The customer
is king," crappola since everybody knows
American business will screw you like f-ing Enron if they can
just get away with it.
So, let's get revenge.
Call your internet service provider today and tell them
you're thinking about leaving them
and see if they don't drop your rate by $15 a month, the unholy
bastards.
Call your long distance provider today and tell them you're
thinking about leaving them
and see if they don't drop your rate by $15 a month, the greedy
huns.
If it works, you could subscribe to bartcop.com
and keep the difference.
It's a win-win for us and a lose-lose for the greedy, Republican-owned
mega-conglomerates.
Outrage
of the Week
From Saturday's Capital Gang
NOVAK: Narco guerrillas now say they
are holding and may kill three U.S. intelligence operatives
whose electronic surveillance plane crashed
in Colombia. An American colleague and a Colombian
army sergeant were murdered after the crash.
The U.S. government has said nothing about the four government contract employees.
Questions, why did the plane crash?
Why were they flying a single-engine plane
with no chase plane?
The U.S. government acts as though it wants
to forget this incident, indeed, forget Plan Colombia,
which is costing American taxpayers $2.2
billion without suppressing the drug-financed insurrection.
AL HUNT: Mark, I am uncomfortably
pro-choice on abortion. My attitude shifts slightly
depending on the focus. But Dennis Kucinich's
transformation this week was breathtaking.
The Ohio Democrat, pro-life his entire congressional
career, upon declaring his presidential candidacy,
suddenly decided he was pro- choice, a
more popular posture with Democratic voters.
Congressman Kucinich says his candidacy,
his presidential candidacy, is based on his principles
against a war in Iraq. I wonder if those
principles also could be vulnerable to public opinion.
I liked Kucinich until I learned he was 100 percent anti-abortion
due to his staunch Catholicism.
That meant he was totally incapable of getting the Demo nomination.
Then, according to Hunt, he turned on a dime, just like George
Herbert Herbert Bush did in 1980.
Bush was always pro-choice (remember, his daddy helped start
Planned Parenthood) until Reagan
offered him the VP spot. Bush suddenly said, "Fuck
those women," and turned anti-choice.
If this is true (we can't trust Al Hunt) at least Kucinich turned
towards women, not against them,
but the wall-to-wall Nazi bastards on AM hate radio will crucify
him for changing his stance.
(Of course, they won't mention Poppy's flip-flop - we never hear
the truth from the AM radio)
Quotes
"Now we know the price of the on-the-job training
in the Oval Office.
We used to have peace and prosperity.
We put a guy in there who
wasn't experienced or qualified, and
look what happened."
--Paul Begala, Crossfire,
02/21/03
Considering what Bush and the B.F.E.E. has done to the
Defense Department,
wouldn't it be more honest (ha ha
- this is the B.F.E.E.) to change the name
back to the "War Department?"
What we're doing to Iraq, the Philippines and all the 'coming
soon' countries
is simply waging war because they can't stop us, so why not call
it what it is?
Under Rummy and that crazy Wolfowitz character, it's changed into
the f-ing
WAR
DEPARTMENT, and it has nothing to do with Defense.
This is like the handjob I got from SBC.
Why are we lying to ourselves?
Be sure and check out the latest assault on the vulgar Pigboy.
Click Here to see what Take Back the Media did to him (chortle-chortle)
Quotes
"... what that little compact disk said, that
CD, that they gotta have an enemy, keep America
thinking about it all the time. But
I think a lot of them really believe that the Iraqis would be
better off without him and could handle
it. That's my instinct too, by the way. My instinct is
that the Iraqis will do pretty well
when he's gone. It's just that we can't go around deposing
people without global support. We just
can't do it. Every African leader I know wants Mugabe
of Zimbabwe gone. But they'd be mad
if we sent fifty thousand soldiers to depose him."
--Bill Clinton, interview with The Atlantic Monthly,
University of Arkansas, October 21, 2002
Note: I assume he's talking about Karl Rove's message to
the GOP that was found.
It said
they should use the never-ending war to their political advantage,
and President
Happykill does everything Karl tells him to do.
Please click on our sponsors
Quotes
"We have the responsibility to support our
President in time of conflict"
--Jerry Falwell, (R-Lying bastard) 2/20/03
Jerry, you didn't feel that way from January 20, 1993 - January
20, 2001.
What changed your mind, Reverend?
Could it be petty partisan politics?
Is that the way God taught you to play the game?
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online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com a nickel.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley Manson of the group Garbage
