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Quotes
"Bush has found military readiness to be a
handy campaign issue. Yet even though more than two decades
have passed since Bush left the Air
National Guard, some military sources still bristle at his service record
-- and what effect it had on readiness.
"In short, for the several hundred thousand dollars we tax payers
spent on getting Bush trained as a
fighter jock, he repaid us with sixty-eight days of active duty.
And God only knows if and when he ever
flew on those days," concludes a military source.
--Marty Heldt, The
Truth About Bush's Military Service Record
"They
wouldn'ty let me fly because they found cocaine in by blood.
Since I couldn't fly I went to Mexico and drank Jim Beam and screwed hookers."
Excerpt:
Colorado Springs - Country-music station
KKCS has suspended two disc jockeys for
playing songs by First Amentment fans The
Dixie Chicks.
Station manager Jerry Grant said, "We pulled
their music two months ago, and it's been
a difficult decision because how can you
ignore the hottest group in country music."
The DJs support the president, the troops,
the military and the right of free speech," Grant said.
"I gave them an alternative: stop it now and
they'll be on suspension, or they can continue playing
Dixie Chicks and when they come out of
the studio they won't have a job."
So - first offense for playing music not on Mr Rove's approved
list gets you suspended.
Second offense gets your fired and what comes after that? A visit
from Johnny Ashcroft?
wearewatchingwearewatchingwearewatchingwearewatching
"We
will toleratecertain patriotic songs and vertain patriot speech,
but stick to our script.
Anyone
caught playing songs on the banned list, or saying things not on
the list approved
by
Mr Rove will be subject to investigation. We don't play games with Mr Bush's
America.
This
isn't Clinton's America anymore. We're changing America into Mr. Bush's
own image.
Goodbye
Martin Sheen, goodbye Janeane Garafalo, goodbye Ribbins and Sarandon,
goodbye
Lyons, Conason, Alterman, MWO, and BartCop (we got a cell for him in Cuba).
Quotes
"The USA PATRIOT Act is unconstitutional on
its face because it attempts to make laws that
do not respect the the First Amendment
of the Constitution of these United States. If our
United States Supreme Court does not
declare this act to be unconstitutional, then the members
of that court are in direct violation
of our Constitution and should be removed. Any member of
Congress that does not stand against
this act should be removed for failure to uphold the oath
taken which states that he/she will
protect our Constitution. If they do not do so, then they have
failed to protect our country and should
be removed from office. If the president of the United
States does not stand against this
act, he to has failed to protect the Constitution and should be
removed from office..The Constitution
is the entire basis for the freedom of our country. To nullify
any part of it declares the death of
our democratic republic. To silently allow politicians to destroy
our country is an enormous failure
of the citizenry...We must not become a nation of sheep,
following any leader blindly into the
wolves' den. We must learn to separate the wheat from the
chaff and return our government to
a sane and rational course."
--Bridget Gibson,
Gagged
by the flag
"But Dubya is our friend!"
Senator, please resign your senate seat today.
Welcome
to the Virtual U.S.A.
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
Evidently, Bush will run as a one-man reunion
of the Village People, the dreadful disco act. Having
previously costumed himself as a Businessman
(his ventures mostly failed), and Owner of the Texas
Rangers (he had a one percent share), he's
added Cowboy and Fighter Pilot to his repertoire.
In reality, his Texas ranch was acquired
in 1999; Bush's time in the saddle is limited to golf carts.
The Fighter Jock pose has more substance,
as Bush did learn to fly F-102s during his foreshortened
service in the Texas Air National Guard's
renowned "Champagne Brigade" 30 years ago. The White
House seemed to hint that the president
himself would perform the landing aboard the Abraham Lincoln
hundreds of miles at sea--far beyond helicopter
range, Ari Fleischer assured the press.
Missing
in Action: Truth
by Nicholas Kristof
Excerpt:
"When I raised the Mystery of the Missing W.M.D.
recently, hawks fired barrages of reproachful e-mail at me.
The gist was: "You *&#*!
Who cares if we never find weapons of mass destruction, because we've liberated
the Iraqi people from a murderous tyrant."
But it does matter, enormously, for American credibility. After all,
as Ari Fleischer said on April 10 about
W.M.D.: "That is what this war was about."
I rejoice in the newfound freedoms in Iraq.
But there are indications that the U.S. government souped up
intelligence, leaned on spooks to change
their conclusions and concealed contrary information to deceive
people at home and around the world."
Quotes
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched,
every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense,
a theft fom those who hunger and are
not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. The world
in arms is not spending money alone.
It is spending the sweat of laborers, the genius of its scientists,
the hopes of its children.... This
is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of
threatening war, it is humanity hanging
fom an iron cross."
Which Republican said that?
Answer below
Saw this on MWO
So Bill Bennett's defense is that he never wrote about the evil of gambling?
I notice he never wrote about bestiality
either.
ha ha
Bennett is so guilty - what a fraud!
That quote from above was from Dwight Eisenhower,
the last Republican president not sprayed by the pardon skunk.
Quotes
"I can remember walking up to my F-102 fighter
and seeing the mechanics there. I was on
the same team as them, and I relied
on them to make sure that I wasn't jumping out of an
airplane. (big smirk)
There was a sense of shared responsibility in that case. The responsibility
to get the airplane down. The responsibility
to show up and do your job."
--Dubya, who failed
to show up for a year, failed to fulfill his obligation for
a year
Fake president,
thinks he's Tom Cruise in Minority Report
Quotes
"Congratulations to Funny Cide, winner
of the Kentucky Derby. I ready today that
$1.6 million was waged at the Kentucky
Derby; ...but enough about Bill Bennett.
Bennett says his gambling is a personal
matter, and he’s not doing anything illegal
and it’s nobody’s business. Or as he
calls that in his book, the Clinton defense."
--Jay Leno
VCR Alert
West Wing is tonight and it's not a repeat.
Repeat - it's not a repeat.
By the way, West Wing was 19th in the ratings last
week.
The GOP monopoly press keep harping on what a loser show it is
in the ratings.
If you don't count Law & Order, American Idol and CSI,
it was 11th.
Is that a weak show on it's last legs?
ABC would kill to have a show rated that high.
(I sent that to my good friend Bradley
Whitford)
On Enterprise, the crew have their first run in
with The Borg
Law & Order is new, what the hell? Oh
yeah, it's sweeps.
PBS is doing a special on Hitler.
I wonder if they'll do a segment of Prescott Bush's help?
When was the last time you heard any conservative mention "less government?"
When was the last time you heard them say,
"The federal government is too powerful,
and we need to get more power back to
the states and the people?"
They don't say those things, anymore.
I guess that means they never thought those ideas were important.
Since the illegal and corrupt commander seized power in the court-sponsored
coup
they've been silent on the evils of a bigger and more powerful
federal grip on citizens.
Why doesn't that scare them anymore?
The monkeyboy wants to wear his costume all the time.
Quotes
"The worst damage Bush has done to America
- and this is saying something - has been on
the international stage, where his
shirking of simple diplomacy in favour of rabid militarism
has left much of the world looking
over its shoulder at the United States, proclaiming it
(quite justifiably) a rogue nation
and a threat to global stability. So to recap, a nation in ruins,
the rest of the world understandably
terrified, and nearly two years to go.
--Leo McKinney, Bad
news Bush
Looking
for a reason to like Bill Maher
by the Grand Wazoo
Excerpt:
While on "Hardball", the first person hadn't
gotten the first question fully out of her leftwing mouth
before Bill and Chris both started shouting
her down. Now I expect this from Chris. This style of
"shout `em down" TV is his trademark.
But to my dismay, Bill even joined in with
the "NA NA NA NA NA I'm not listening to you!" type of bullshit.
For the record, the audience member was
so poorly phrasing her comment/question that it probably offended both
elitist pigs.
Click
Please visit our sponsors
Hey, Bart!!!!
Check out
http://www.prisonplanet.com/jones_report_031403_hilton.html
Stanley Hilton was a top aide to Bob Dole,
later a squealer who wrote
the expose on Dole called 'Senator for
Sale.' (!)
Now he is the attorney representing a couple
of hundred surviving family members of 9/11 victims,
suing by name Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, etc.,
for allowing/causing 9/11 to happen for their own
political or geopolitical reasons.
This is an interview from March discussing some of his findings, and they are dynamite.
...phil
Marty's
E! page
Harper's Weekly Review
Bush twins, Ashton Kutcher & a hookah
Bill Gates on 'Now With Bill Moyers' this week
Tina Fey & the $4 million deal
Hume Cronyn at the Guthrie
Elton John, Bernie Taupin, Ann Rice & vampires
Colorado radio - DJ's 'Dixie Chicks' - while Ted
Nugent goes over the line
Sally Field, Kim Phuc & 'Save The Children'
The 'History of Hip-Hop Tour'
Jeffrey Jones looking to plea bargain
Nielson prime-time ratings
And a porta-potty with internet access
click
Quotes
"No president since I've been a reporter has
so tried to
change the very structure of government
to foster secrecy."
--Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter
Jack Nelson, retired Washington
bureau chief of
the Los Angeles Times, on Dubya
That's because we've never had a president commit crimes on the scale of the Never-elected Idiot
Subject: Dense Miller
With the facial hair I couldn't tell if
you had Rush Limbaugh or Ari Fleischer as a guest.
Guess it doesn't matter, same shit, different
asshole but he stunk like two stripe-ed ass apes in a feces fght.
Bye Bye Boys,
Montana
..
A Democrat fights
back
Fiction,
by Mike Palecek
With his days of protest long past, Joe
Coffee tells his wife, Jane, one day that he’s thinking
about running for Congress. She sets his
whim in motion and they get his name on the ballot
in a rural western Iowa district. "Coffee
Joe," as he becomes known, speaks out against prisons
and the military and no one takes him seriously
at first. But when his campaign begins to resonate
with voters, terrified establishment politicians
try to stop him. In a dramatic conclusion, Coffee Joe
becomes a central figure in a hostage crisis
involving disgruntled farmers. In an era of war in the
Middle East and a conservative approach
to the economy, Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides
a refreshing alternative perspective.
Click
Here
to order your copy today.
[Palecek is a former federal prisoner, seminarian, reporter, and candidate.]
Also by Mike Palecek: Click Here
Subject: Unexploded bombs
Sidebar: I can't believe the amount of mail this has generated.
The reason that unexploded bombs are dangerous
is exactly because they are unexploded.
They are still live, armed, and ready to
blow as soon as some curious kid picks them up or
kicks them or hits them with a stick.
At which point, they rapidly lose their "unexploded"
status, and anyone within 20 feet or so
(for cluster bomblets anyway) winds up late for
their next appointment (as in "the late
Mr.....").
Steve C
Steve, I know, but it's a joke, like Carlin's "near miss" of two
planes.
No, it's a "near hit."
bart
From: Vincent White
Subject: Bartcop is getting boring
Why don't you drop all the tired, hackneyed
themes (The war was for oil,
Bush is illegitimate, Bush is a dunce)
and come up with something new?
I like to look at your site once in while
to see what the liberal, left-wing scum is thinking.
In your case, I use the word "thinking"
in its loosest sense.
Vince White
Vince, how very nice to meet you.
Tell me, what size ass do you have?
(My boot was curious...)
OK, let's take a look at your complaints.
1. The war was for oil.
I can understand why you'd want that subject buried, but where
can it go?
Those crimes are continuing daily, and will continue on until
a Democratic president
looks into Bush's phoney bookkeeping and tells the world what
a crook he is.
2. Bush is an illegitimate bastard who stole the White House.
So, you're noit a fan of democracy?
How long have you endorsed fascism?
3. Bush is the stupidest man to ever walk the halls of the
White House.
Did he somehow get smarter in the last few days?
I'd stop saying that if Bush
would, just once, have a real press conference with real questions
from real reporters
where the answers we get back are something other than "Saddam
bad, tax cuts good."
Plus, I know you're lying about checking in "once
in a while,"
You guys live and breathe bartcop.com You can't get
enough of it.
Just think how addicted you'll be to BartCop Radio..
Speaking of addicted...
.
Subject: Unexploded bombs
Sidebar: I can't believe the amount of mail this has generated.
Just because a bomb hasn't exploded, doesn't mean that it won't.
David
David, it was a joke.
Maybe the sarcasm will be more obvious on the radio show, which
is coming damn soon.
Bart,
I saw the comments about Neil Young on your
site...how sad that he has "turned".
After seeing that, I decided to update
the "Ohio" song...
Dick Cheney and Bush are coming
Their oil is in your ground
The muslim’s are really bummin’
Rumsfeld will kill them now
Gotta be blind to it
T.V. is showing us how
Should've been Gore all along
Nothing but bullshit cuz’
Weapons have never been found
How can you say what you know
Dick Cheney and Bush are coming
Their oil is in your ground
The muslim’s are really bummin’
Rumsfeld will kill them now…
Paul B
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Quotes
"The best movie over the weekend was "X-Men:
Two”, it made $85 million last weekend.
It’s about a group of mutants that
want to take over the world. There’s Storm that wants
to take over the world, there’s Nightcrawler
that wants to take over the world, and
there’s also Donald Rumsfeld."
--Dave
Excerpt:
Halliburton's emergency, no-bid contract
to work on Iraq's oil wells must be fully disclosed,
says Henry Wxman (D-Fighter), pointing
to the Army's admission that the company has a
far more lucrative role than originally
believed.
Prior descriptions said Cheney's former
(?) company would fight oil fires. The contract also
lets the company operate the oil fields
for a time and distribute the petroleum,
"Only now, over five weeks after the contract
was first disclosed, are we learning that
Halliburton may be asked to pump and distribute
Iraqi oil under the contract."
Yeah, they're going to "distribute" that oil, all right. The B.F.E.E.
is making multi-millions
in every direction imaginable, and I'm sure in some pretty unimaginable
ways, too.
Escape
from America
by Subversive Mike
Excerpt:
The lies, lies and more lies that come
from the Bush Administration lay a blanket of thick stench
in the air that makes the smog of Los Angeles
seem like room freshener. Some of the lies are small,
like saying that President Knucklehead
had to land on that Aircraft Carrier by jet fighter the other
day because the ship was too far out to
sea for him to travel by helicopter. As a matter of fact,
the ship was so close to land that lights,
camera and action had to be turned toward the open ocean
so that the nearby Southern California
coastline didn't mar the photo-op and associated propaganda.
Quotes
"Did you see the Democrats debate over the
weekend? The debate was so boring that ABC
is going to pick the show up for its
fall schedule. Half way through the debate Al Sharpton
ordered a pizza to his podium. The
winner was anyone with a remote in their hands."
--Craig Kilborn
Subject: forgot one hypocrite
I read your hypocrite piece dealing with
Newt, Hyde, Bennet, Etc...
You forgot one other major hypocrite. Rudolph
Guliani.
He had more than one affair while Governor
of New York, yet he is a big hero.
I think he performed well after 9-11, but
still, why should we forgive him
if we didn't forgive Clinton?
Mark in Las Vegas
Mark, good point. There were lots more GOP hippocrits,* but the internet is only so big, y'know?
And what about those Catholics? You'd think they'd have enough
pride to talk to Rudy, and ask him
to sit someplace other than the front pew if he's going to bring
his shack-up honey to church with him.
What gall!
It's like Rudy was saying, "Yeah God,
I'm screwing this one - you got a problem with that?"
But, the Catholics have a 2,000-year reputation for bending the
rules for money and prestige.
Who knew God's commandments were so, ...flexible?
Quotes
"The Kentucky Derby was won over the weekend
by a gelding from New York.
This is the most famous gelding from
New York since Frank Gifford."
--Dave
Sunday's Doonesbury
was mostly in French
.
Can anybody translate, ballon by balloon?
Click
Here for the translation
Thanks to all who wrote
Rummy
the Genius Forgot About Nukes
by Joe Conason
Excerpt
To Americans who read and worry about the
most recent developments in Iraq, this ceaseless chorus
of praise for the Pentagon hierarchy can
only be reassuring. Because otherwise, the facts on the ground
might hint that Mr. Rumsfeld and company
are not very bright and dangerously incompetent.
According to The Washington Post, a newspaper
that fervently supported the war, the Pentagon utterly
failed to secure Iraq’s nuclear facilities
at Kut and al Tuwaitha. The result has been wholesale looting, with
unknown losses of such potentially dangerous
radioactive materials as cesium, cobalt and partially enriched
uranium. So far, Special Forces detachments
have found at least two nuclear caches that were "plundered
extensively enough that authorities could
not rule out the possibility that deadly materials had been stolen."
We now have some good candidates and are close to a decision,
but there's still a day or two left to get in.
Update:
We hope to have an announcement in a day or three. The
annoucement will be this week,
because It's going to happen even if I have to take hostages,
so stay closely tuned (stay tuned?).
Swear to Koresh, BartCop
Radio is going to be the only nomination in the
"Best
Other" category
when that one web site does their "Webby Awards."
By the way, did you know the Webby's are faked?
Yeah, ...they e-mailed us and said we could have one for $140.
I told 'em to take a f-ing hike.
I'm trying to launch a damn network, I don't have time to try
to "win" some plastic bald man.
So trust me - it won't be long now.
...and it's not to early to get in for the bargain price of $5,
because once we sign the contracts,
the lowest tier may have to go to $6.50
to accomodate my silent and non-voting "partners."
Is
worth $10
a month?
You bet your ass.
*I* think it'll be worth $10
bucks a day, because BartCop Radio is going to be exactly
the no-rules show
that I would produce if I had the chance to produce a no-rules
radio show, and that day is near.
Pretty soon "talk radio" is going to have a new flavor, and
it won't be vanilla.
Click
Here to listen to todays calls to the 
Click
Here to get in on the fun.
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Today's Phone Calls.
Did anything make you mad today?
Tell us about it! 918-493-1500
Fake president,
thinks he's Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2
You MP3 rangers out there?
Thanks for the TONS of soundclips. My hard drive is filing
up.
I'm sure we have 200-300 hundred MP3s, and 40-50 CDRs that haven't
been heard yet.
So, for right now, we're doing OK on the bumper music, but can I ask another favor?
I don't know what they're called, (I'm not yet a rookie) but I
need some transition snippets, the ones that say,
"Bart will be right back to open another can
of whoop ass of some helpless ditto-monkey," or
"He has a hammer and he's not afraid to use
it - Bart will be back after this," or
"I pity the fool who brings up 'Somalia' when
Bart's in the house," ...stuff like that.
I got a great one from Mike Parker, but we're going to be doing
a lot of shows
and even great clips will get old quick, so I need fresh voices
and fresh smart-ass-isms.
Send your batches of snappy whatever-those-are-called to
Can you help an old altar boy out?
I can't do this without help.
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