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Quotes
"Al Qaeda is a group of people that they don't
care about taking innocent life."
--Dubya,
too stupid to make any sense at all
"I understand
small business because I was one."
Excerpt:
Republicans in Washington and Austin apparently
used a Homeland Security Department agency to track
Texas Democratic legislators who left the
state to block passage of a GOP-backed Congressional redistricting bill.
This is the same Homeland Security Department
that is supposed to be making America safe from foreign terrorists.
It's the agency we were told would never
be used for domestic political purposes.
...the Air and Marine Interdiction and Coordination
Center became involved in the Republican search for 51
Democratic state representatives who went
to Oklahoma to block action on a redistricting bill.
"The agency received a call to locate a specific
Piper turboprop aircraft. The plane belonged to Pete Laney."
Laney is one of the Democrats who is fighting
against the redistricting bill.
"Laney's plane proved to be a key piece of information
because Craddick said it's how he determined that the
Democrats were in Ardmore. 'We called someone,
and they said they were going to track it. I have no idea
how they tracked it down,' Craddick said.
'That's how we found them.'"
This is what happens when a crooked president hires a convicted,
multiple felon to run national security.
Who's John Poindexter?
A retired Navy Admiral, John Poindexter
lost his job as National Security Adviser under Reagan,
and was convicted of conspiracy, lying
to Congress, defrauding the government, and destroying
evidence (which
kept Bush out of prison) in the Iran Contra
scandal. But since he's a Republican,
the press granted him a pass and praised
his appointment to be spymaster of all of America.
The B.F.E.E. will break any law, they'll commit
any
crime, because they know the press and
the gelding Democrats will stand by and weep, pleading "Please
don't hurt us."
We don't care about freedom, liberty, privacy or fairness in this
country - not any more.
The only thing we care about is the Unelected Fraid getting every
damn thing he wants.
...and whatever you do - don't ask about the secret 9-11 report Bush is blocking.
It might tell us what Bush knew about 9-11 before it happened.
Instead, turn your attention to Clinton's zipper - that's what's
important.
Don't blink, or you'll miss the premier of 
Quotes
"If those killers, those criminals believe
that their bloody criminal acts will shake
even one hair off the body of our nation
and its unity, then they are deceiving themselves."
--Dubya the hairless,
who ran like a scared bunny on September 11th
Reminder:
Bush 41 had an affair in office, too.
But since he's a Republican, he had the luxury of saying, "That's
insulting,"
and the entire press world dropped the entire line of questioning
forever.
Just like Smirk and his cocaine, his abortion, going AWOL and
drunk-driving.
He said, "The past is past,"
and the entire press corps said, "OK, that seems
fair,"
and then returned to printing more lies about Bill, Hillary and
Chelsea.
If you're a Democrat, the press will hound you for years and never let up.
Cable Provider to Run Ad Critical of Bush
Excerpt:
PHOENIX (AP) - In an about-face, the local
branch of Cox Cable has decided
to air a TV commercial critical of President
Bush's tax cut plan.
There must be a mistake.
I must;'ve read this story wrong, or maybe the manager is on
vacation, because you
do NOT say anything critical about this unelected fraud - it's
illegal
to criticize Bush!
You watch, next issue I'll have to run a retraction that this story was a fake.
Please visit our sponsors.
Quotes
“The administration's lulling triumphalism
about Al Qaeda exploded on Monday in Riyadh,
when well-planned and coordinated suicide
strikes with car bombs and small-arms fire killed
dozens in three housing complexes favored
by Westerners, including seven Americans...
Buried in the rubble of Riyadh are
some of the Bush administration’s basic assumptions:
that Al Qaeda was finished, that invading
Iraq would bring regional stability and that a
show of American superpower against
Saddam would cow terrorists.”
--Maureen
Dowd - she hates everybody, this time it's the preening, dress-up Bush
boy
Subject: I want my country back!!!
Where's my WMD?
Where's Saddam?
Where's Bin Laden
Where's DICK?
Where's Kenny-Boy?
Where's the budget surplus?
Where are the socks from down W's flightsuit?
Where's our Democracy?
I want my country back!!!
(You can keep the socks.)
JRB
JRB, your country no longer exist.
The Democrats gave it to Dubya for a honeymoon present.
The
Things Left Out
Sometimes they're the most important things of all
by Tamara Baker as seen on apj.us
Excerpt:
If, in America, you get all your news from
a typical national wire service such as the AP, chances are you're
not getting the whole story. It's even
worse if you rely on TV and radio, especially cable TV and AM radio.
The best course of action, I have found
over and over again, is that when a big story breaks, it's best to check
out what the local media are saying about
the story. All too often, important, often pivotal bits of information
are left out when the story is passed on
up the corporate media food chain.
BushCo
Reams Nation Good
No WMDs after all, no excuse for war, too late
for anyone to care anymore. Ha-ha, suckers
Excerpt:
See, there are no weapons of mass destruction
in Iraq. No WMDs at all. Isn't that great?
What's more: There never were. Ha-ha-ha.
Gotcha!
No warehouses teeming with nuclear warheads,
no underground bunkers packed with vats of boiling
biotoxins, no drums of crazy-ass chemical
agents that will melt your skin and turn us all into drooling
flesh-eating zombies -- unless, of course,
you count the sneering vat of conservative biotoxin that is, say,
Fox News, in which case, hell yeah baby,
we gotcher WMDs right here beeyatch.
Please visit our sponsors.
Subject: GAO
Hi Bart,
In regard to the GAO situation, you have
to understand how heavy-handed the Bush administration is.
Something, much to the credit of the Clinton
administration, did not do. Correct me if I wrong,
but I believe the administration threatned
reprisal if they investigated Cheney's dealings with Halliburton
(smaller GAO budget). And if you studied
the Theory of Bureaucratic Behavior as I have in school,
an agency will choose power and money well
before they choose conscience or principle in any event.
Rory
Rory, when the B.F.E.E. barks at someone, that someone
gets very scared
and does whatever the B.F.E.E. wants them to do - it's
sick and it's sad.
The press, the Democrats, the GAO, other countries - it's all
the same.
President Never-elected has been pampered this way his whole
life.
Missing
in action: The Democratic Party
by Ernest Partridge
Excerpt:
The Democratic party has at its disposal
a devastating array of issues, foreign and domestic,
moral and economic, and yet there it sits,
at best dumb-frozen and impotent, and at worst
complicit in the crimes and outrages of
the Bush administration.
In the two short years of the Bush administration,
The United States of America has become an
international pariah as the Bush regime
violates treaties, disregards international law, and launches
an aggressive war on a defenseless nation.
This aggression has been justified by a succession of lies
—Saddam's "hidden weapons," the Saddam-Osama
connection, the plagiarized student paper,
the Nigerian forgery–all these well-known
both at home and abroad to be lies.
"We're
just trying to help Dubya.
Sheesh, you're just like Bart!"
Senator, please resign your senate seat today.
You have no business cashing your Democratic
paycheck while you're playing for their team
Will the real Saddam please stand up?
http://crew.tweakers.net/JvS/zooi/realhussein.swf
The Bush, Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld Challenge
Excerpt:
“It was like a Hollywood film. They cried 'go,
go, go', with guns and blanks without bullets,
blanks and the sound of explosions. They
made a show for the American attack on the
hospital - action movies like Sylvester
Stallone or Jackie Chan.”
There was one more twist. Two days before
the snatch squad arrived,
Harith had arranged to deliver Jessica
to the Americans in an ambulance.
Just released!
Click on banner for more
"America's Nightmare
is an important book and needs to be widely read.”
-- Peter Phillips, Associate Professor of Sociology
at Sonoma State University and Director of Project Censored
Quotes
"I'm asking the FEMA people and the Governor
and the Mayor and everybody said,
is the government moving fast enough?
That's the question that I need to know.
And some of you said yes, and some
of you said no. ...So one of my visits -- one of
the reasons I'm visiting here is to
ask the question to people. Because if there's --
moving too slow, or people are saying
one thing and the other thing is not happening,
now is the time to find out."
-- he really
can't
be as stupid as he sounds - can he?
From: twogunkid
Subject: Who are the real chimps?
Note: He's talking about "Who's Smarter? Hollywood vs.
Bush Administration."
but he failed to send the URL
So, we're supposed to follow a bunch of
high-school dropouts ?
They know better than our best & brighest
?
The drop-outs are just soo-o-o-o much smarter
- - Really ?!
Monkey person, you must calm down and address the facts.
That to which you refer was a load of wild horseshit
written by FOX News.
That means you can expect the craziest distortions and a total
retreat from reality.
Nobody said Bush's team was stupid.
They are blood-thirsty, power-hungry marauders with delusions
of world domination,
but I'm sure nobody on the left said they were stupid - at least
I haven't heard that.
The Unelected Chimp in a man suit, the "man" they use as a figurehead
is extra, extra stupid.
I doubt he knows they're using him any more than Reagan knew.
he's so stupid, they refuse to let him talk without a script.
You should be fair enough to ask yourself these questions:
What is "Hollywood's" motivation
to lie?
Do you think an actor or musical group wants
to be blacklisted?
Do you really think the Dixie Chicks wanted
Clear
Channel to try to destroy their career?
Do you think Martin Sheen wants Rush's robots
calling NBC constantly?
On the other hand, Bush and his evil crime
family now own the second largest oil reserves on Earth.
Do you think that might give them a reason
to lie?
Would evil men kill innocent people (and American
soldiers) to take over the world?
Actors. Movie-actors, at that. Is this all The Left has ?
No, and why would you ask such a stupid question?
The vast majority of the planet was against this war. Milliong
of people marched in London, Paris and Rome,
and hundreds of thousands marched in places such as New York
and San Francisco. Why would you think
only movie stars were against that war? Did you hear
that from Rush or FOX News?
Lemme just wise you idiots up a little: you America-haters and liberals are about to become extinct.
Hmmm, sounds like a death threat.
Better not bring a revolver, Cubby, because
The Baby holds 14.
The public is not with you.
You are losing more and more influence
with each new radical, irrational outburst.
The people who think Saddam caused 9-11
were pro-war because they trusted Bush when he made those claims.
Now that Bush owns those oil reserves,
we found out Iraq had no WMD.
That makes Bush a liar and a thief, but
the press will never call him on it.
Your days of subverting American culture
are almost at an end. You have but a few more months.
As long as you're doing a burnout, do it
up real nice for the finale, will yah ?
Go completely berserk for the '04 election
and really show us how much you don't friggin' care.
Be defiant to the end - - just like in
the movies!
ha ha
Twogunkid
I just noticed, your spelling is very good, for a ditto-monkey.
It's my best guess your knuckles don't quite reach the ground
- yet.
You might still be salvageable, but you'd need courage to change.
Do you have courage, Mr Twogunkid?
Would you allow the facts to interrupt your monkey screechings?
Help is just a click away.
I'm too busy, myself, but some good-hearted liberal might help
you.
Try not to slip on any banana peels.
Bush has beaten the "Saddam-terror" drum so much, he convinced
more than half of America that Saddam caused 9-11, thus justifying
his illegal oil war.
Trouble is, the rest of the world doesn't read America's whore press
...so they know the facts - that's why we are hated around the
world today.
We're getting dozens of cancellations on the PayPal account.
Hopefully, you're just doing what I asked you to do, transfering
your PayPal subscription
to Perkel's new 2Checkout
auto-sign up subscription whatever, but it's still a little creepy
seeing rows and rows of cancellations from the thing that puts
food on your family.
My good friend Mike Malloy is blowing up!
Where's
the liberal Rush Limbaugh?
Mike Malloy's left-wing rants have gotten him bounced from
major radio
markets. Could he draw an audience of millions if he got
the chance?
Does Howdy Doody have a wooden Tom Delay?
Excerpt:
When the battle tape ended, Malloy switched
to a sound bite of Rumsfeld at a press conference
lauding the "careful, measured beginning"
of the war. Then Malloy returned to the air, saying,
"This is a dark day, this is a filthy day, this
is a day for shame."
And finally, heading into a commercial break,
he wove together more combat racket with
a madrigal-like song by Pink Floyd, "Goodbye,
Blue Sky."
Runaway Democrats in Texas
Excerpt:
Washington has apparently responded by
using the Department of Homeland Security to attempt to reign in these
wandering Texas Democrats. If this
is true (and it has been reported in reputable newspapers that this did
in fact
happen), then this constitutes a (further)
breach of power. Homeland Security was created not for internal policing
nor for politics. It was created
solely to provide security against terrorism. That Washington used
this newly formed
branch of government to pursue members
of the opposing political party indicates an abuse of power so unbelievable
that it staggers one to believe that it
could ever have happened in this country.
Marty's
E! page
Juan Valdez, Hilary Duff & a donkey
Michael Dare's Dream Job
Barbara Walters will interview Hillary
MTV & VH1 will broadcast '100 Percent NYC' with Norah Jones
Saturday night
Isley Brothers have the top album for the 1st time in 30 years
A depressed music market means rock & over-45 rule
Scott Weiland the new Axl Rose?
Fox's fall schedule
Halle Berry broke her arm
A new Titanic exhibit
And the bride that said 'No' to dowry demands
SNL season finale - Dan Ackroyd with Beyonce Knowles
(Last show for Tracy Morgan and Mango)
click
When God came to Indy
Excerpt:
I am thankful that, at least, FOX59 had
the decency to not pre-empt regular programming.
I would watch rather watch a thousand hours
the inane "Maury" show, than to watch the
"GW Bush goes the Indy to get worshiped"
show you folks are airing.
Watching your reporters and anchors play
"step `an fetchit" for the president, just isn't entertaining enough
Simply
Truth: the Cardinal Tenet of Journalism
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
Just so, Whitewater, which became the most
elaborate shaggy-dog story in recent American
history--weakening the White House and
empowering Starr's partisan witch hunt--precisely
because few "disturbing questions" about
the Clintons' ill-fated real estate venture ever made
sense. Exculpatory facts were routinely
concealed. An editor with a fraction of Lelyveld's
self-esteem should have known.
Alas, he still hasn't mastered the basics,
falsely asserting that Jim McDougal "was at the helm
of the biggest savings and loan association
in the state when it became insolvent." In reality,
Madison Guaranty was one of Arkansas's
smaller S & L failures, roughly 1/15 the size of
First Federal's $950 million cave-in. Nor
was McDougal in charge. He'd been removed two
and a half years before Madison's closure,
partly at Bassett Schaffer's insistence.
..
A Democrat fights
back
Fiction,
by Mike Palecek
Joe Coffee tells his wife that he’s thinking
about running for Congress.
"Coffee Joe" speaks out against prisons and the
military and no one takes him seriously - at first.
Soon, terrified establishment politicians
try to stop him.
Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides a refreshing alternative perspective.
Click Here to order your copy today.
[Palecek is a former reporter, federal prisoner, and seminarian.]
Also by Mike Palecek: Click Here
Subject: Poor General Ashcroft....
Poor General Ashcroft.
Can't find Osama.
Can't find Anthrax man.
Can't find Saddam or Kenny-Boy.
Every time General Ashcroft tries to peek
under the blue drapery at Justice's full, luscious bosoms,
some flunky walks by and he has to pretend
he's scouting for his next press conference.
It's a tough pretense, since Dick won't
let him give press conferences anymore.
He's a frustrated man, General Ashcroft.
So he chased down Tommy Chong for selling
bongs.
Are we safe yet?
"Go
away, and don't bother me, again.
I'm busy hunting Texas Democrats."
This whole
thing is just hours away.
Click Here to donate heavy.
Update:
Tommy Mack spent Wednesday rewiring the entire studio from the
ground up. When he realized we could
do nothing without a new sound card, and the stores were closed
we turned to the tequila. Thursday, we
bought - he installed - a bad-ass sound card that made everything
work. We spent the rest of the day
in class, turning me into a hack audio engineer with a smart
mouth and more courage than brains.
Today's issue is a little short so I can spend the day collecting ammo to use on Show #1.
Call 918-493-1500-
you have two minutes to rant away.
Did anything make you mad today?
Tell us about it! 918-493-1500
Subject: CNN, why do you continually kiss Bush's Ass?
Hey CNN:
Bush is a coward and a fraud. His putting
on the Military Flight Suit is an insult to every
veteran who faced real combat. Bush
thought it was worth 145 of our dead soldiers so
that he could have a photo-op and all you
whores do is masturbate to this spectacle.
I am so sick of you bastards.
I don't watch CNN at all, anymore.
The hell with all of you,
David McRae
Corporate
Shills In Black Robes
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
When George W. Bush ran for President three
years ago, his strategists and media
advisers positioned him quite carefully
as something new in the political spectrum.
Seeking to appeal to his party’s rightist
base while disguising his extremism, Mr. Bush
declared himself a "compassionate
conservative." Now we know him better—and
as he seeks to pack the federal appellate
courts with reactionary judges, his
ideological disguise is so thin as to be
transparent.
Has anybody seen the bridge?
We have received a lot of great mortar, but I can't tell from
whom.
The files that started with "sw" are extra good, as are the B.F.E.E.
promo songs
At this point, I guess all I can do is play some and say,
"Whoever sent this needs to send more because
that's killer work."
Some were obviously done by professionals, and we need tons more like those.
Send your batches of snappy liners to
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Maybe someday Shirley will call to say "Hi!" on the Bart-Phone
at 918-493-1500
That would be cool.