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David Dvorkin, author
of Budspy and three Star Trek novels,
has just released a new
science fiction novel - Pit Planet
Click Here
for more details and to read the first two chapters of this book.
Quotes
"This is the kind of job when you come home
at the end of the day, you really like
to have someone to sound off
to, and the plants just weren't doing it for me."
- Christie Whitman,
on quitting as head of the EPA
Hey Christie, what about that black guy
you played with for a thrill as governor?
Maybe he's out now, and would like to
hear your endless whining?
"I love
the feel of a black man."
If you haven't seen this picture before, when she was governor
of Jersey, she was bored one night
so she drove around with some state troopers and the first chance
they had, they threw this guy up
against the wall, and while the troopers held guns on this poor
bastard off-camera, Christie had the
pleasure of "frisking him." Me?
I'd rather be shot by the cops than have this political whore rub her
nasty-ass hands all over my body so she could use this photo
in her "tough on crime" re-election ads.
Excerpt:
Sen. Robert Byrd accused the Bush administration
of using ``false premises'' to get Americans
to accept what he said was an illegal
and unprovoked attack on Saddam government.
His remarks on the Senate floor Wednesday made for some of the toughest criticism of the Iraq war from Congress.
Referring to turmoil in postwar Iraq, Byrd,
D-W.Va., said: ``If the situation in Iraq is the result of liberation,
we may have set the cause of freedom back
200 years.''
The White House dismissed his comments.
``It was widely known before the conflict began
that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction,
as was determined by the United Nations,''
White House spokeswoman Claire Buchan said.
Horseshit!
All the UN knew is what Powell lied about (and got caught)
that's why the UN refused to sanction the hit.
"In fact, we have already found at least two
mobile labs'' suspected of being capable of
producing biological weapons, she said.
Horseshit II!
"Suspected" of "being capable of?"
That's why thousands of innocent Iraqi people died?
I suspect this illegal adminiostration is capable of doing any goddamn thing to steal some oil.
You said the threat was so imminent, that we couldn't wait
for the inspections to work, that Saddam was days
or maybe just hours away from unleasing his terrble,
swift sword on the mighty United States, so we had to act!!
America - when will you wake up?
Quotes
"Christine Whitman resigned yesterday as the
head of the EPA.
Bush was shocked – he didn’t
know there was an EPA."
--Conan
Excerpt:
Democratics invoked memories of Watergate
on Wednesday as they denounced the destruction of documents by
Texas police in a search last week for
runaway Texas state legislators. "Not since Richard Nixon have we seen
such
a dangerous abuse of federal resources
for political purposes or such a dangerous cover-up," said Rep. Martin
Frost,
dean of the Texas Democratic congressional
delegation.
A U.S. Department of Homeland Security agency
said last week that Texas police had misled it in seeking help
to find a plane carrying some of the missing
politicians. Democrats in the U.S. Congress demanded an investigation.
But don't worry, Tom Ridge has promised a "qucik and fair" investigation
that, ...what?
The investigation is over? ...and all Republicans were cleared
of all charges of wrongdoing?
I feel so much better.
This could be a gag, but maybe it's not
I was sent a GOP fundraising letter concerning how to answer liberal
charges that Smirk n Dick
knew about 9-11 and allowed it to happen to get Smirk's approval
to 90 percent. The letter read:
"Even if Cheney allowed the 9-11
attacks, he did so for the good of the nation.
FDR allowed Pearl Harbor so the United
States could join the war in 1941."
Because liberals love Franklin Roosevelt so much, this answer shuts them up quickly.
ha ha
Yeah, confess that on live TV and see if
our reaction is to shut up.
I'll change bartcop.com
to themotherlessbastardsknew.com.
Only a true leader can make the toughest
decisions in order to lead his nation to its destined greatness.
Even if our President allowed the attacks
of 9/11, this proves Bush is an even bigger hero for
allowing Cheney to make such a tough, necessary
decision. We elect our leaders to lead, not flirt and
carry on with interns. It was Bush's
amazing post-9/11 leadership that unleashed the American people
to free others around the world, including
Afghanistan and Iraq.
I know that reads like a parody, but everything since impeachment
has been upside down.
The last few years, every newspaper reads like The Onion, talking
about Bush's "fearless leadership,"
and why terror, war and recession are better than those phoney
Clinton days.
Anyone else seen this fund raising letter?
Bart,
I cannot disagree with you and your other
readers more than when you speak about how it is a
good thing that Annika is playing in the
tournament. I would have no problem if their was no LPGA,
or men could play in the LPGA. But,
women have their own tour. She should be playing there. Period.
People complain about how "if she can compete
with the men, it's only fair".
Well, let's reverse that.
If Michael Jordan or Shaq went to the WNBA,
would THAT be fair?
No you say? Why not?
M
M, it's very simple.
The person with the disadvantage is a winner for stepping up.
(Think of a blind man climbing Mt Everest.)
But a sighted mountain climber trying to bully his way into the
Easter Egg Hunt
at the Immaculate Conception Home for the Blind would be a cheating
loser.
Trust me - the only reason the men don't want her there is because
those
who lose to Anna will be taunted by the men who managed to beat
her.
Boy, wouldn't it be something if Mr Perfect lost to a girl?
"That
hex made me lose to a girl!"
Reverse Hex on Annika Sorenstam
We've never tried a reverse hex, I wonder if reverse hex science is different?
I'm not saying she'd going to win, I just want her to place
somewhere in the middle.
These male golfers need some humility, and they need to be taught
a lesson.
Lessons learned on live TV are usually fun to watch.
U.S. Wins Support to End Sanctions on Iraq
Excerpt:
The final American concessions on the resolution
won the support of France,
Russia and Germany, ensuring the overwhelming
approval of the measure.
Why did we bother getting "permission" from the UN?
We did get permission to murder Baghdad, so do we need permission
to open their ports?
Who's going to stop Bush and his pirates from stealing that oil?
Why go thru the charade of this senseless vote?
VCR Alert
Tonight, live from the MGM Grand in Las Vegas
BartCop, come to Vegas...BartCop, you
have free air and free hotel
Lisa Marie Presley, (Will she do "Viva?") Shania Twain,
Pat Benatar, Beyonce, The Isley Brothers,
who are so old, Zeppelin did their covers on ther 1969 tour,
Celine the Chest Beater and Jewel
Party favors by Whitney and Bobby
Quotes
"About one out of every eight graduates of
St. Joseph's University walked out on Rick Santorum,
who ignited a storm of controversy when
he compared people in committed, loving, adult, gay
relationships to those who practiced
incest, polygamy...unlike Trent Lott, whose racist comments
caused him to be removed from leadership,
Santorum's homophobic hatemongering has only caused
President Bush to embrace him in a manly,
macho, not at all gay way."
--Paul Begala, Crossfire
Hey, where'd you get that puppet?
Mr. Rove: Austin, Texas!
Subject: question
bart-
i am 26. i grew up during the prosperous
clinton years, and have only the vaguest recollections of
the last republican empire. i've tried
to ask my working class parents if this is what the 80's were like,
with the liberty raping and blatant abuses
of power and the "f-you, environment!" and whatnot.
i also asked them if the public, as a whole,
was this stupid (i.e--'i'm voting for the one that looks good
in a flight suit!' ) back then. they
claim they don't remember. i think they don't want to.
can you help me?
i'll have some hope for the future of this
country if i can believe that it's been this bad before,
and we managed to get out of it.
loyally yours,
jj
JJ, it would take a smarter person than me to give you a good
answer, but I remember the 80's.
In the 70's we had runaway inflation, (they blame Carter, but
it was a Nixon/Ford problem) but things
weren't that bad. Old people got plenty of money from their
savings interest, and if you owned a home,
every time you made a $700 mortgage payment the value of your
home increased $1200.
(I pity the fool who wants to argue with me on that since I was
doing real estate loans at the time.)
When Reagan got in, he slayed the inflation beast with the biggest
recession since the 1930s.
Tens of millions pf people couldn't find jobs, but the people
loved Reagan because he promised he'd
nuke Iran if they pulled any hostage crap on his watch. Nobody
knew he'd made a secret, illegal deal
with the terrorists to hold those Americans an extra few months
to make Carter look weak..
Just like today's market, once-profitable company's were gobbled
up for pennies on the dollar and
Reagan's rich friends made hundreds of millions by doing nothing
- absolutely nothing. On top of that,
Reagan went on this wild spendind spree that put us trillions
in debt. Bush wasn't much better.
The vulgar Pigboy likes to say "Reagan had the longest growth
period ever," which might be true
because he crashed the economy from 100 to 20, then for the next
twelve years it clawed it's way back
That 20 to 100 stretch is what the GOP is so proud of. When Clinton
got in, he took that 100 and
ran it to three hundred, and Bush has crashed it back to 100
again, so look for another looooong
period of growth, as American families try to get back to Clintonian
levels.
That's the best I can do off the top of my head.
Subject: Re: Nigger, Faggot, etc..
Hey Bart, personally I LOVE it when you use derogatory racial and anti-gay slurs to make a point.
What you are doing is cutting through the
bullshit codes the RNC has been getting away with for too long.
I am gay and have no confusion in understanding
that when the Repigs use phrases like 'family values'
they are actually saying "fuck those
perverted faggots". There are tons of euphamisms they love to
use in public. Rush is a master at using
these codes.
Keep it real, you are the BEST,
(withheld)
Subject:The "N-Word" Debate
A reader named "Pidru" wrote and said he
used to feel the same way you did about the "n" word
until he saw an episode of "Boston Public,"
which illustrated to him that all uses of the word are bad.
What made it acceptable for "Boston Public"
to use to word to illustrate it's point?
T
It's probably time to let this one rest.
Newest chart from Scott Davis
The BFEE makes money when the economy crashes.
This is intentional.
They knew for a fact the market would dive and the deficits
would skyrocket with Bush's goofy billionaire tax giveaway.
Whoops, sorry! Again!
Excerpt:
The Central Intelligence Agency has begun
a review to determine why the
American intelligence community erred in
its pre-war assessments of Saddam
Hussein's government and Iraq's weapons
programs.
Mac tips for listening to BartCop Radio
Hey Bart.
You had a .gif on your page a long time
back called Monkey Spank, do you still have it?
I'm trying to completely annoy a Geek that
is destroying Battlestar Galactica, and that gif
is PERFECT (You should see this little
Gerbil Garage...)
Lord Starfyre
Lord Starfyre, (Bart bows) you mean this one?
If not moving, hit refresh
Quotes
"Let me defend Ari Fleischer. Critics
are going through the many factual misstatements that Ari made.
But we need to change not the monkey, but the organ grinder.
Somebody sent him out there to say
these things that were false. For example, it was Bush and Cheney
who said Iraq has a nuclear weapons
program. We now know that they do not. Why blaming Fleischer,
when it's the president and the vice
president who misled us about a war?"
--Paul Begala, who has never admitted reading bartcop.com
Joe
Conason's Journal
Why has the Bush administration done so
little to secure
Iraq's nuclear sites since the coalition's
victory?
Today's warning of excited "chatter" among
the cadres of al-Qaida -- and the prospect of
renewed attacks in Saudi Arabia or the
United States -- again highlight the Bush
administration's appalling failure to secure
nuclear materials in Iraq.
For several weeks, Mohammed ElBaradei has
pleaded with U.S. officials to permit his experienced
IAEA inspection and security personnel
to assist in that urgent task -- but his worries about missing
nuclear materials again raise the specter
of a "dirty bomb" attack by terrorists.
Karl Rove knows if there's anothger massive attack, America will
rally around this incompetent
moron and raise his approval ratings another 30 points. We reward
failures with extra praise.
If it doesn't move - hit refresh.
Quotes
"Pot laws are based on religious insanity,
not medical science."
-- Tequila Treehouse boy,
K-Drag Oklahoma
Click Here to read about "Dr Phil."
Questions and Answers about Foreign Policy
Excerpt:
Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass
destruction?
A: To use them in a war, silly.
Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons
that they planned to use in a war,
then why didn't they
use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?
A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to
know they had those weapons,
so they chose to die
by the thousands rather than defend themselves.
Subject: does Howard Dean know about Diebold...?
I saw part of a Howard Dean Q&A on CSPAN
a couple nights ago; one audience member raised the
'crooked elections'/no-paper-trail issue,
and Dean said that he'd recently become aware of it as an issue
and he was looking into it pretty seriously.
He sounded like he wasn't just blowing it off, either.
He sounded, in fact, like a guy who'd raise
holy heck about it.
Question: is there a BartCop reader who knows how we could approach Dean with what we've gathered on the subject?
Samantha
Most political campaigns are notoroiusly impossible to reach,
which is funny because they're trying so hard
to reach out to other people. If we can get to Dean, I suggest
we have Faun Otter do the talking.
As far as I know, he broke the story that was published here,
and then the Observer in the UK mentioned
that we were one of the only places talking about it. Maybe Dean
doesn't wear pink tutus?
Quotes
"It was an easy choice for me to stand up and
fight for [Clinton's] presidency
and this man against the virulent,
unconstitutional attack on it.
-- David Talbot of Salon.com, the man who
hired Jennifer Liberto and David Horowitz
"I hear
Liberto and Horowitz do good work..."
Everything update
is coming soon. It's debut may be as soon as early next week.
Yukon Bill is putting together
the financial page. If you want to help,
(He needs bureau chief types ) contact him at willstein@inamongus.com
Also, we have two more positons opening up.
Position
One:
We could really use a PC guru and a Mac guru.
When someone writes with a tech question, (Can't get radio
show!) it would be nice if
I could forward their mail to a person who's hopelessly geeky
and informed on tech stuff.
You might get 5-10 e-mails a day, so maybe you could have some
stock answers ready
for the FAQ that keep popping up and save a bunch of time.
Position
Two:
This is the fun position, but it has to be just the right person.
We
need a reader.
We need a person who loves to read new, hardback books, but
it's more than that.
Here's how that might work: Right now, Sid Blumenthal
has a new book out.
I'd send you the book, you'd read it in a few days, then write
a book report for us to read.
Then you'd send us the Top Ten quotes, or most important facts
we must know from the book.
Then, in many cases, you'd interview the author.
For this, you'd probably need a tape recorder,
but they're cheap and you'd need that for accuracy when filing
your interview with bartcop.com
I haven't talked to Sid's people, but I'll bet they'd make him
available. My good friend Joe Conason
also has a new book coming out, and I'll bet he'd talk to us
to plug his book, "BIG
LIES!"
Sidebar:
I've had to pass up interviews with some
big-time Democrats because I have no time to read the book
(except for Susan McDougal and much of
Conason/Lyons "Hunting") and I'm not going to insult the author
by asking dumb questions like most reporters.
In most cases, I imagine you could say, "Tell me about
your new book," and it'd be tough
to shut them up :)
For this position, we really need someone with time on their
hands. No sense setting this up if you have
a houseful of needy kids, ongoing medical problems, a crazy,
ax-weilding wife etc. We need the brainy type,
older, balding and with thick glasses (just kidding) but it
could be a fun gig. Had we set this up a year ago,
you possibly could've interviewed Susan McDougal, Arianna Huffington,
Greg Palast etc.
Too
clever by half
David Gergen gives Bush the red ass
Excerpt:
Caught in their worst budget crisis since
the Depression, state governments across the land are
taking desperate measures. Against this
backdrop, how can politicians in Washington possibly
be enacting more tax cuts? Especially cuts
tilted yet again toward the wealthy?
Subject: Radio
Bart,
I have a DSL connection using a PC and am
unable to connect to your radio bits with AOL Media Player.
Says I have nothing in my playlist or maybe
I have a corrupt file, I take that to mean that it's not just a Mac problem.
Best of luck in your radion venture.
blitrzer
The shortcut may be causing the problem for AOLers.
Since you have DSL, you don't need the shortcut.
Try changing the extension to mp3.
So if the link says 051503radio.m3u, copy that and put it in your browser as 051503radio.MP3
Watch your ass, Weiner.
You try that shit with me and I'll de-skirt your lawyer in court.
Marty's
E! page
Tim's 'toon nails Ari's successor
Readers comment on James Brown's pardon
J.Lo is now a candle - er - wax figure at Madame Tussaud's
Conan O'Brien in Kuwait
The Song Writers Hall Of Fame
'Roseanne' is 'Roseanne Barr' again
LA 'duopoly'
'The Matrix', a divorce & accusations of cross-dressing
Wynonna Judd is getting married - again
Eminem's high school bully sues
And, 6 French journalists not only have tales of LAX, but a warning
for all of us.
click
..
A Democrat fights
back
Fiction,
by Mike Palecek
Joe
Coffee tells his wife that he’s thinking about running for Congress.
"Coffee
Joe" speaks out against prisons and the military and no one takes him seriously
- at first.
Soon,
terrified establishment politicians try to stop him.
Joe Coffee’s Revolution provides a refreshing alternative perspective.
Click Here to order your copy today.
[Palecek is a former reporter, federal prisoner, and seminarian.]
Also by Mike Palecek: Click Here
Threat
Assessment
The Daily Brew
Excerpt:
Fighting terrorism doesn't require that
we go billions of dollars in debt. Mostly it requires a concentrated
intelligence effort and good relations
with other democratic governments. At the same time, however
horrific terrorist attacks are, no one
should be so foolish to believe that eliminating them would be the end
all of our problems. Sooner or later new
problems will emerge. If the Bush administration is allowed to
bankrupt the country in the interim, we
will be very vulnerable to those threats when they arise.
Call 918-493-1500-
you have two minutes to rant away.
Did anything make you mad today?
Tell us about it! 918-493-1500
I gotta tell you, I have so screwed up the BartPhone calls.
I can't tell which is which, I don't know what's been played and
what hasn't.
I have pieces from here and there, and sections that have been
answered but
now the answers are no longer there - so, in an attempt to get
back on track,
I'm going to play a batch just as I found them and hope for the
best.
Once again, it contains the "Insta-load," no waiting technology.
Click Here
to hear pieces of the lost phone calls
Bart
I would freak if your website were to get pushed to the side for the radio show.
As much as I would love to flip on my AM
radio and listen between the nazi rush hour
programming to hammer time, it was really
the website that got me hooked.
Steve
Steve, not to worry.
The page is the foundation.
It's not going anywhere.
Subscription
Update
If you are a current PayPal subscriber you will be automatically
enrolled in the new system.
We won't close any doors before June 20, so everyone enrolled
in PayPal
or 2Checkout
is OK.
But if you signed up via snail mail, we need to hear from
you at bartcop@bartcop.com
If you would, e-mail a reminder of when you sent your donation
and the amount,
and put something like SUBSCRIBE in the subject header
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Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Maybe someday Shirley will call to say "Hi!"
on the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be cool.