Fighting the machine that mortgaged our future,
POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
TEQUILA-VEGAS
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Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Daily Howler Arianna Huffington Demo U-Ground Eric Alterman Greg Palast
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Cheap - $40 for 30,000 views.
Nobody gives you a deal like that.
Excerpt:
Who were the political leaders who, according
to critics of the Iraq war, perpetrated
this fraud on the American people by making
overblown warnings about Saddam's WMD?
Respectively, Clinton, Albright, Cohen,
Sandy Berger, Daschle and Kerry.
I don't have the time to read Rich Lowry's drivel. No sense getting
into it with a man
who sometimes makes Ann Coulter look sane, but suffice it to
say Clinton didn't get
any Americans killed, he didn't murder thousands of Iraqis, he
didn't steal their oil.
Clinton was busy protecting Amertica and defending the Constitution
while the GOP
had their head inside his zipper spending millions looking for
crimes that didn't exist.
"I'm
glad nobody's ever looked into my past - it's a doozy."
Subject: Have we forgotten the Debt?
For as long as I can remember, the national
debt and the current deficit were front page issues.
In spite of our spending we used to be
a nation who believed that it was wrong to run the country on borrowed
money.
Now we are approaching deficits close to
half a trillion dollars a year and no one is screaming about it.
How is this possible? Are we a nation in
denial?
Have we totally abandoned any notion of
fiscal responsibility?
What will we do when it comes time to pay
up?
How long can we continue to ignore reality?
Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.
Marijuana 'Guru' Walks Free in California
Excerpt:
Ed Rosenthal, the self-proclaimed "Guru
of Ganja,"walked free Wednesday after
a federal judge sentenced him to one day
in prison for a marijuana conviction.
Rosenthal, 58, was found guilty in February
of growing more than 100 plants in
an Oakland warehouse and could have faced
as much as 60 years behind bars.
60 years for growing illegal, harmless flowers?
What century are we in?
Rosenthal had argued his actions were legal
under a 1996 law passed by California
voters that permits marijuana use for medical
purposes. He also said he was acting
as an agent for the city of Oakland's medical
marijuana program. But U.S. District
Judge Charles Breyer did not allow the
jury to hear those arguments.
The jury found Rosenthal guilty of marijuana
cultivation, but several jurors later said
they would have acquitted him if they
had known he was growing the plants for
patients in Oakland.
It's extra scary when a judge tells you you can't argue the truth.
This doctor wasn't selling pot
to kids on the street corner. He was helping his patients cope
with keeping food down.
This country would rather sick people go thru torture than get
relief from an illegal flower?
That's religious insanity for you.
That's not supposed to happen in a free country.
To: paulreveresociety@yahoo.com/start
Subject: none
Hi, I just have a question.
Is your name pronounced Weener or Whiner?
Either way, it fits.
You're both.
ha ha
I pronounce Weiner's name "Sacless."
Wait - I tried to go to michaelsavage.com
weiner-whiner.com and found this:
Where is Savage?
Right Now the Station that I made famous
has chosen to take me off the air out of spite.
Beginning July 1, 2003, I will be heard
again in the San Francisco Area.
Right now you may be able to hear me
on 650AM on the dial (KSTE) in my regular
time slot between 4-7PM broadcasting
live, from Sacramento, California.
Very soon, the whole story will be told.
In the meantime, you can support The Savage Nation
and me by sponsoring the organization
and telling your friends to listen to me on KSTE 650AM
on the dial, until July 1, 2003.
Hey Weiner, that's a LIE.
They took you off the air becasue you're a f-ing loser.
They're ashamed to be associated with a loser who's been punk'd
by bartcop.com
And since you're a sue-happy c_nt, why not sue me for telling the truth?
ha ha
Weiner, you don't want no piece of me.
I'll treat you like I'm a Brit and you're my Iraqi POW.
ha ha
Luxury SUV Buyers Win Desperately Needed Tax Relief
Excerpt:
Drivers of luxury sport-utility vehicles
who sat through gridlock traffic over the Memorial Day
weekend now have a real reason to celebrate.
President Bush has signed into law the Jobs and
Growth Reconciliation Act, which increases
deductions to $100,000
for vehicles weighing
over 6,000 pounds. So now, instead of suffering
the humiliation of a cramped "ordinary" SUV,
drivers are encouraged to Super Size to
a more roomy ride.
Jose Cuervo Especial
I don't think I've ever regurgitated in public until yesterday.
Even back in my heavy drinking days, I was always discreet.
I was in a store where they sold magazines, and I had some time
to kill.
I saw a magazine I'd never seen before called RAMP.
It has a half-naked babe on the cover - that caught my eye.
Then to her right it said, "Great Tequilas
Take Over," so I picked it up.
Because of my detective training, I was eventually able to find
the article,
and when I did, I saw this almost-offensive-as-Smirk's-presidency
sentence.
"Jose Cuervo Especial has a fine, full bodied flavor that reminds one of the finest cognac."
...all over the bookstore floor.
This was obviously paid for by the sluts that shill cheap-ass
vodka called Cuervo.
We live in a whore country where the liars are allowed access
to printer's ink.
When I become president, lying about fine tequila will be at
least a misdemeanor,
and a second offense would put the publisher behind bars.
I'm ashamed to live in a country where viscious lies can be printed as truths.
Subject: CNN Breaking News
New York Times announces resignation of
Executive Editor Howell Raines,
Managing Editor Gerald Boyd following Jayson
Blair scandal.
If the Whore Times would start printing the truth,
they wouldn't have to fire their top-ranking employees,
but what are the odds of that happening?
Reminder:
bartcop.com has more credibility than the New York
Whore Times.
If you don't believe that, read what my good friend Gene
Lyons says about them.
Excerpt:
Did Times columnist Maureen Dowd alter
a statement by President Bush to make him appear more callow and
boastful? Clearly, she did. Under the "Clinton
rules," however, such trickery was commonplace. This column once
exposed a 1995 "Nightline" broadcast that
deleted 39 words from a statement by Hillary Clinton, then accused her
of covering up the very information it
cut. Last week, Chris Vlasto, the show's producer, was quoted questioning
Blumenthal's ethics in the Washington Post.
Also criticizing Blumenthal was Michael
Isikoff, the Newsweek sex sleuth whose book "Uncovering Clinton"
reveals in a footnote on page 365 that,
having examined her employment records, he knew Paula Jones's claims
of job discrimination against President
Clinton were false on the day she filed her lawsuit--precisely the grounds
on which it was eventually dismissed.
Yet he kept that knowledge to himself and spent years attacking those who
doubted her of a "cultural double standard"
and an "elitist attitude."
This issue written in pain while on Crown Royal.
A
Celebrity With a Cause
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
Mr. Simmons, the hip-hop impresario, suddenly
seems on the verge of achieving what political
leaders and New York Times editorials have
perennially failed to do: reform the dracon
narcotics statutes of New York State.
Although elected officials across the spectrum
have long lamented the awful injustices caused by
those laws—which prescribe hard time for
small offenses and curtail judicial discretion—the will
to change them has been absent for a decade
or more. In the meantime, tens of thousands of
people who should be receiving drug treatment
have gone to prison, where they cost the
taxpayers billions of dollars and are trained
in serious criminality.
The Scott and Laci Peterson Saga
Has anyone been following this story like I have?
Since my good friend Mark Geragos is severely involved,
I couldn't help but notice.
Sidebar for new readers:
A good friend is anyone who I've
met, talked to, gotten e-mail from or held a bartcop.com sticker.
Carville is a good friend, but if
you asked him, "Do you know BartCop?" he'd say, "What's a BartCop?"
I don't want people to think I run in the
big circles. Most big dogs won't even return my e-mails.
I'd sure like to argue this case with someone who's keeping up.
I'm not guaranteeing that Peterson is innocent.
Prosecutorial claims of a "slam dunk," is probably why Geragos
got into this case in the first place
Laci's family, no matter how emotionally wrought, had no
business filling three pickups full of valuables from
Scott Peterson's home while it was unguarded due to his being
suspected
of this crime. I'm so old, I remember
a term people used to use called "presumption of innocence."
Also, Roy Black says Geragos never mentioned
"a Satanic cult," that's just Nancy Grace playing Rush Limbaugh.
Tuesday, Grace claimed Scott must be guilty because he told a
friend of Laci's that he was going golfing
the day she died, but he ended up going fishing, so that's proof
he murdered her. What country is this?
For all we know, Scott's connection to the golf club couldn't
make it, and finding himself with no plans on
a free day, he decided to go fishing, instead. They want
to fry him for not playing golf?
The good puppy media has decided Peterson is guilty partly because
Geragos is his lawyer,
and to make Clinton look bad they have to take the position that
Geragos only defends the guilty.
E-Mail me if you want to fight about this.
You know who's doing OK?
Ashton Kutcher.
Nine years ago, he was 16 and masturbating to Demi Moore in Disclosure.
Now he's having sex with her, and this is after dumping Britney Murphy and the Bush twins.
Ashton Kutcher, he lives the life, doesn't he?
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade places with him.
Well, maybe for an hour, but that doesn't count.
http://www.fauxnewschannel.com/index.html
Excerpt:
"It's long past time for this administration
to be held accountable. Over the last two years we've become
accustomed to the pattern. Each time the
administration comes up with another whopper, partisan
supporters - a group that includes a large
segment of the news media - obediently insist that black is white
and up is down. Meanwhile the
"liberal" media report only that some people say that black is black
and
up is up. And some Democratic politicians
offer the administration invaluable cover by making excuses
and playing down the extent of the lies."
Click to Order
Shirts for Dad,
Chinaco mugs,
Baseball caps,
Beer steins for Dad,
BBQ apron for Dad,
Don't you love him?
Subject: blinded by angry
I am pleased to read how angry you are about George W. Bush and "all right of center" folks in the media.
As a former Clinton hater, may I say, being
pissed about every move the other side makes does not help.
Either come up with better ideas (or at
least more popular) or wait patiently until you have a major screw-up to
jump on.
No one really cared when Clinton did things
that drove me crazy and no one cares now what Bush does to annoy you.
Good luck, it is a long road of recovery
from hate blindness
Dennis P
Saint Louis, MO.
Dennis, thanks for the civil tone.
It's not the same.
Your side made 1,000 false accusations against Clinton and swore
they were all true.
You got mad that Clinton had a girlfriend, I get mad when Bush
bankrupts America and gets
160 brave soldiers killed for no goddamn reason. He's rewritten
the Constitution and done away
with the Bill of Rights and obtained the legal power to murder
people he doesn't like, for starters.
It's not the same.
One thing?
Working towards the radio thing...
Click Here to see if you can hear 13 seconds of a Shirley song.
You should be able to download this with no problem. This is an MP3.
You can GO
HERE and download Winamp for free.
All the kids have them - it's what they put sound and
music on these days.
If you can't hear Shirley vow to tear some guy's soul apart
(don't piss her off)
then Click Here
to see the new and improved troubleshooting tech page.
E-mail someone on that list and tell them what kind of system you have.
Our first goal is to assist people who can't get BartCop radio
satisfactorily.
If YOU are having trouble, contact a tech and if the two of
you work it out,
have the tech contact us with the answer so we can post it.
Beginning June 20/21, we will be posting radio shows in the "members" section.
Subject: Dohhhhhhhh!!
Bartski ,
You quoted GW as saying ,
"As long as I can have that oil and the French
know their Fucking Place , we'll be allright ."
Sorry again , dude . Prove it . Bush never
said this and you know it .
Did you also know that Bush said
that he would like to cut the throats
of Palestinian babies , and feed them to
Zionist's guard dogs ?
Of course you knew this . You are the knower
of all things .
Damn , you is one sorry-ass geornalistician
.
Better luck next time.
edw
I can't believe I'm swamped with complaint mail about that quote.
You people need to remember three things.
This is
primarily a comedy page
I don't
like that unelected-idiot-lazy bastard-bastard, not even a little bit.
Read what I wrote. I said,
"Bush
said something like this."
In comedy, that's called a big-ass red flag.
When I say, "Swear to Koresh," you should assume I think what
I wrote is true.
I'll bet if every issue had a giant red sign that said, "Don't
take every word seriously,"
I'd still get mail saying, "You're not
a real journalist."
Did you know that life is short?
Did you know that we could all eat a peach tomorrow?
Jesus, drink one, smoke one, have some sex, go to Vegas, listen
to some Shirley.
Life is short.
Bart!
Tell all your Mac-using subscribers to listen
to BartCop Radio in Apple's iTunes!
Works great!
Click on the link, it opens and streams.
No problem. I haven't tried in in Mac OS 9,
since all my machines that have iTunes
are running OS X, but it works in OS X.
Jim
I will endorse the first of the nine Demos running for Pres that mentions bartcop.com in public
Bart,
Y'all say that like drinking Mr. Beam and screwing hookers and chopping rails WAS a bad thing??
Loretta
Georgia
Except for the hookers, I've done those things.
But I'm not qualified to be president any more than Monkey Boy
is.
Marty's E! page
click
Subject: Tax Cuts
Bart,
How many times do you have to be reminded?
The poor did not receive a federal tax
cut because they did not pay federal taxes!!!
Now, you may want to whip out the payroll
taxes argument,
but those are not what the current tax
cuts are targeting.
Brandt Boar
Bottom line, Bush is lying.
If his goal was to stimulate the economy, he's got to get some
money into the hands of the people
most likely to spend it. Take a multi-millionaire
like Cheney - with an extra $100,000 he's not
going to go buy a car or a house. He's already super rich
- he has everything he's ever wanted
unless you factor in that there's oil he does not yet possess.
But give $3000 to a family making $30K (The
BartCop Tax Plan) and I guarantee those
people need clothes, car repairs, a VCR, a new fridge, carpet
for the house etc.
They will not put it in the bank and forget about it like
The Cheneys.
Bush doesn't want this economy to pick up - he doesn't
need it.
As long as they control the voting machines - why f-ing bother?
If he wanted the economy to pick up he'd mimic Clinton.
"You
only have good buying opportunities when times are tough,
at least that's what Unka Dick and Mr Rove told me."
Quotes
"24 beers in a case and 24 hours in a day.
Coincidence? I don't think so..."
-- John Daly, party animal
and pro golfer, but not as pretty as Mr Perfect
Zeppelin Number One
My good friend Robert Plant and his backing group have
the Number One CD this week.
They also have the Number One DVD this week - 30 years after
owning the charts.
Remind me - the show they released on audio?
During the encore, they did Heartbreak Hotel, Sly's Everyday
People and Louie, Louie.
They chose not to release that, but I have the tapes. Maybe we'll
play that on the next BCR.
Also, I assume some people heard BCR show Number Three.
I got four e-mails, so I know it actually went out.
Subject: Show 3 - Hittin' stride
Bart,
I hadn't listened to show 3 until just now
(I've had a hell of a coupla days). Great stuff!
Thanks for the perspective, rants, stories
and some really interesting stuff - I like the music too : )
Yes much better than 1 & 2. Now that
you are beating the gear into submission you sound much
more comfortable in your role of tree house
dj :) The best part was that I felt you really
communicated the potential and the vison
of what this thing can be and become.
Jim C
Subject: Wrong time posted for Franken/OReilly Smackdown
You've probably been swamped with mail about
this, but in case you haven't -
the time for the C-SPAM airing of the Franken/O'Reilly
show is actually 5:30 PM on
Sunday,
not AM
as you had on the website.
This is according to the BookTV.org website,
which sponsors the event.
I would hate to miss this one.
Keep swinging.
Usually I just say, "I'm a dumbass," but in this case, someone
else was.
Thanks.
Subject: It was much worse than you thought
Bart,
I ran across this gem, which I printed out
when you posted it 2-1/2 years ago.
How I wish you'd been right!
--pipe
Sometimes I hate to be right...
Did
I hear that right?
The Olson twins made a billion dollars in 2002?
Not that I follow their career, but a billion dollars?
Surely I heard wrong, right?
Subject: Radio problems - Possible solution
I'm not certain but I suspect the reason
people are having trouble getting the stream is that
the files are too high-quality for dialup
connections to handle.
The 13-second test file on today's issue
is 70kbps. Show #3 is 40kbps. Those numbers measure
the amount of data required to store/transfer
1 second of audio. (kbps = kilobits per second)
So 40kbps means that it takes 40,000 bits
per second of audio. Which also means that your internet
connection has to download 40,000 bits
of data in order to play one second of audio. Which means,
if your modem can only download 28,800
bits in one second, then it won't have downloaded the full
first second of audio before it's time
to play the next second. Thus you get constant buffering.
The solution is to lower the bitrate.
Whatever program you're using to generate the MP3 files should
have an option called 'bitrate'.
I would set it to 24kbps, which should be plenty for voice, and low
enough that even an old 28.8 modem can
play it.
This assumes that the people have problems
are dialup users. If people on DSL or Cable are still having
problems then I'm on the wrong tack entirely.
But I'm on DSL and I can play the files without any problems.
Hope this helps.
Nathan
Nathan, thanks, I don't know about these things.
Apparently, Cool Edit and Pro Tools don't work with under-40
bitrate files.
Is this correct? And if so, what is the solution?
Is there a program than can lower the 40 when the show is complete?
Maybe we could have two buttons, one for 40K and one for 28K.
e-mail Bart if you know how this works.
Advice to the Dems
I know you're stupid, scared and broke, but what about this?
What if, starting
next Monday,
any Democrat asked
anything on camera about
any subject answered gets the following answer.
"Why did Unelected Bush go AWOL in 1972, and why did he lie about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction?"
That's it.
That's all it takes.
It's free.
According to Frank Zappa,
"Free is when you don't have to pay for something."
But the Democrats refuse to do that because "It wouldn't be right to gain power that way."
Our football team wants to sit on the bench.
We don't want to win, we just want the game to be over.
We've become a party that stands for nothing, yet we've won the
last three popular votes.
We're losing to the stupidest man who's ever been forced into politics.
Call 918-493-1500-
you have two minutes to rant away.
Did anything make you mad today?
Tell
us about it!
918-493-1500
The Socko Holy War Poll Stats
Excerpt:
In the wake of the dramatic search for
two camouflaged mobile laboratory trucks in Iraq,
a growing percentage of Muslims also see
serious threats to Islam itself.
Subject: Jesus Bart
Again ,
How many times must I tell you ?
Poor people do not pay taxes.
That's possibly the most false statement
ever published by bartcop.com
I have a clue what you might have intended
to mean with that atrocious malapropism,
but it is 100 percent totally false.
If we were in a debate and you said something
that crazy,
I'd de-skirt you like you were a lawyer
for that Weiner fella.
This was supposed to go up last weekend, but then I found myself unarmed.
Click Here for Part One of Radio Show Number Three
Click Here for Part Two of Radio Show Number Three
Brought to you by mickrasley-silver.com
Click Here
for Part Three of Radio
Show Number Three
I
say we fight back with BartCop Radio.
They can't shut us up if we are subscriber-supported.
I think building
into a powerhouse is a worthwhile goal.
Click Here
to subscribe.
Help build the anti-Bush network into something the media can't ignore and can't dismiss.
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Taking my own advice, we're in Las Vegas.
We have more Frequent Flying free trips than we can use, and
The Rio has graciously
(I had to threaten them) agreed to donate a "VIP Platinum" room
for the weekend.
They said to be sure I use the "VIP Check In" not the
regular Check In that the rubes use.
ha ha
I'm wearing my extra-worn tennis shoes and a t-shirt with a stain
on it.
They're going to call me MISTER BartCop all weekend.
Besides, I'm scheduled to be hit by a peach truck in July, so
why waste the free trip?
Mrs. Bart wanted to watch Funny Cide win the Belmont with a crowd
of screaming gamblers, so here we are.
I invited Shirley to meet us at the Pink Taco for tequila shots, no word from her yet.
It's 10:40 in the morning and I'm drinking Crown Royal.
Not because I'm a sad, embittered old man,
not because I'm lonely and the bottle is my only friend.
not because life has passed me by and I've fallen into the gutter.
I'm drinking because we didn't rent a car and this is a cabs-only
weekend and this is Las Vegas,
where you get fined for being sober. Besides, it helps explain
the quality of the writing.
...and I'm waiting for the florist.
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley - Pink Taco Friday
at 7 PM!
Shirley - call the BartPhone at 918-493-1500
That would be cool.
