Wishing the 'President' would stop
POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE
TEQUILA-VEGAS
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Quotes
"They keep calling Hillary a radical
feminist, which means what? She has a job?
Hey, Laura Bush had a job too, but
she quit it to stay home and raise her husband.
-- Will Durst
Excerpt:
Europe shot back at Washington on Tuesday
in their war over genetically modified food, accusing Dim Son
of falsehoods about EU restrictions on
the eve of a summit meant to ease transatlantic tensions.
The European Commission rejected Bush's
accusation on Monday that the European Union's unofficial ban on GM
food aggravated the risk of famine in Africa,
and said the EU did far more than the United States to feed the world's
poor.
"The suggestions made by the United States are
simply not true,'' Commission spokesman Gerassimos Thomas told a daily
news briefing.
"Have
that son of a bitch killed - and then burn his house down."
Mega-Dueling Quotes
"Right now, Iraq is expanding and improving
facilities that were used for the production of biological weapons."
--President Liar
Speech
to UN, 9/12/02
"Our intelligence officials estimate that Saddam
Hussein had the materials to produce
as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard
and VX nerve agent."
--President Liar
SoTU
Speech 1/28/03
"We have heard a lot about revisionist history
from the White House of late in answer to those who
question whether there was a real threat
from Iraq. But it is the President who appears to me to be
intent on revising history. But, it
is the President who appears to me to be intent on revising history.
There is an abundance of clear and
unmistakable evidence that the Administration sought to portray
Iraq as a direct and deadly threat
to the American people. But there is a great difference between
the hand-picked intelligence that was
presented by the Administration to Congress and the American
people when compared against what we
have actually discovered in Iraq. This Congress and the people
who sent us here are entitled to an
explanation from the Administration."
--Sen Robert C.
Byrd, The
Road to Coverup Is the Road to Ruin
Excerpt:
As George W. Bush's aristocorporate junta
runs roughshod over hard-earned freedoms, as his lunatic-right
Administration loots $10 trillion from
the national treasury, as his armies invade sovereign nations without cause,
as he threatens war against imagined enemies
while allowing real ones to build nuclear weapons, those charged
with standing against these perversions
of American values remain appallingly, inexplicably silent.
We have become a nation of cowards, and
I am ashamed.
Where are the Democrats?
They're hiding under a table, shaking like bunnies at the thought of Mr Rove being disappointed.
Subject: Bone head on CNN
Bart, this WW2 combat vet could have Glocked my Dish network TV this afternoon.
Watching tennis and using the remote to
see the bull shit when they go to commercials,
I clik on the shit channel "CNN News" And
this bald headed ahole with glasses came
on the political segment with Judy Woodruff
" MWHOL".
Now this creep had the gall to say that
" Bush is a war Hero" this made me so friggin mad
that this bastard compared heroism to this
two bit S.O.B. AWOL deserter, to the guys
that we buried at sea. Shame on CNN !!
Bart thanks for your call and the stickers.
John B.
John, I'm with you, Dude.
Shot of Chinaco for you real heroes.
Vanessa Marcil stars in 'Las Vegas,' this fall?
James Caan stars in this one-hour drama
as the head of an elite
surveillance team that oversees the security
of one of the largest
casinos in Las Vegas. From the writer of
the film The Fast and
the Furious, the series co-stars
Josh Duhamel, Molly Sims,
Nikki Cox, James Lesure, Nessa Holt and
Vanessa Marcil.
I'd watch that show.
Hell, I'd watch a show that was about Vanessa Marcil watching
TV
How bad would this show have to be for me to dislike it?
Sources: U.S. planned to kill bin Laden before 9/11
Excerpt:
"When President Bush took office in January 2001,
the White House was told that Predator drones had recently
spotted Osama as many as three times and
officials were urged to arm the unmanned planes with missiles to kill him.
But the administration failed to get
drones back into the Afghan skies until after the September 11 attacks
later that year,
current and former U.S. officials say...
Defense officials suggested they be given
an objective -- kill bin Laden -- and be left to make their own decisions
about
whether to use a drone or other weapons
like cruise missiles and B-1 bombers, officials said. Targeting bin Laden
was
legally permitted under secret orders and
presidential findings that Clinton had signed.
Officials at the September 4 meeting put
off recommending the armed drone as a solution. Instead, they finalized
a series
of other measures to rout al Qaeda from
its base in Afghanistan, including re-arming the rebel Northern Alliance.
Those recommendations were being forwarded
from Rice to Bush when the September 11 hijackers struck, officials said."
Remember, Bush took the month off before the 9-11 attacks.
Maybe if he had been working instead of talking to the
damn cows,
he might've been as effective as Bill Clinton was at stopping
terrorism.
But then, he wouldn't have gotten the power he's got now, would
he?
His old friend Osama gave George something Daddy couldn't - high
approval ratings.
America rewarded the Unelected Monkey with her heart - and he's
a greedy, lazy screw-up.
Bart,
Here’s a translation of an article that
appears in Le Matin: A Swiss French language paper from a firm
reporting to the five Swiss cantons (states)
that are ‘Francophone.’ (includes Geneva, where I work)
PAGAILLE
Other than the petroleum, the United States
isn’t occupying anything in Iraq.
“The
Americans encouraged us to plunder”
by Ian Hamel in Baghdad
Not only did our taxi driver drive a stolen
car, its windshield crinkled from bullet shots, but he burned
the red lights, and didn’t respect the
one-way direction through the traffic circle. Laughing, about 30 GIs,
their weapons in hand, contemplated the
huge disorder that has taken over Baghdad (5 million inhabitants)
since the fall of Saddam Hussein.
Autoroute traffic sets the image for the
entire country. No longer does anything function correctly. Administrative
centers were plundered, archives were burned,
communications networks damaged. Worse, the occupying forces
don’t focus on this. "They listen
to us, respond very politely, and affirm that they were going to refer
the matters to
their superiors." says the head of
an NGO. But then nothing ever happens. Because of that attitude,
the psychiatric
hospital, which was taken over by the International
Red Cross), had been pilfered three times.
The “Thieves’ Markets”
Must the hospital be restocked in medications,
beds, medical equipment, if the American army gives no assurance
that they will finally ensure that it stays
guarded? Clearly, can one count on the United States to reestablish
order?
Within the multiple ‘Thieves’ Markets’
in Baghdad, the sellers flip their fingers at the Americans. "It’s
they, that
opened the doors to the Ministries, and
encouraged us to carry it all away." they recounted.
Drew
And, of course, you'd never see this story on the nightly news,
because they're covering up Bush's bungles to prop up the illegal
fraud.
At alexas.com bartcop.com was given four stars out of five.
Is that anything?
I didn't send them any money...
Please visit our sponsors
Rolling Stone readers vote U2 is the best live band (in recent years)
Excerpt:
Somewhere in the late eighties, the E Street
Band took a break, and U2 became the best live band in the world.
They'll do whatever it takes to connect:
jump into a stadium crowd and slow-dance with a fan, as Bono did at
Live Aid in 1985; take a gospel choir on
the road (Joshua Tree tour, 1987); overwhelm audiences with
multimedia (ZooTV Tour, 1992); or just
play uplifting rock & roll with a lot of feeling (every tour).
I was lucky enough to see U2 in '87, '92, '97 and '02.
For a group without a chick singer, they are the best
live band.
VCR Alert - I think it's called the World Poker Tour
This is gambling.
Having lived as a gambler for about 5 years, it's in my blood,
and this is so much cheaper.
TONIGHT, 9PM CST on the Travel Channel (of all places) they're
doing the grand finale of
The Road to the World Poker Tour. (Maybe that's the travel
tie-in)
This is the BIG one.
For weeks, they've been doing elimination tourneys in different
cities.
This is REAL poker, for real money.
First they deal two cards, face down.
The players look - the players bet.
Sometimes, a guy looks at a pair of Kings and he suddenly blurts
out, "All in!"
Damn, this is exciting.
One guy looks at his cards, and bets, say, $160,000.
ha ha
I don't know where you live, but in Tulsa, that's three nice houses.
This is REAL poker, for real money.
Crazier still, they award the prize in cash.
The winner gets $3,000,000
- in cash.
I assume he can take a check instead, but this is Vegas - the
cash IS on the table.
If you only watch one poker tournament this year, watch this one!
The TV viewer gets to see everyone's cards - live.
It's strange to watch a man with a shit hand push $200,000 in
the pot,
while the viewer knows the guy to his left has a full house.
Seriously, this show has given me poker fever.
We gotta figure a way to play some friendly online poker.
No house, just 5-6 of us playing some friendly poker online.
Who has the software for that?
Tonight - 9 PM CST the World Poker Tour on the Travel Channel
Subject: I can't believe he said that!
I thank God almost every DAY that I'm not
on active duty anymore,
what with commanders tellin the press we're
expendable.
This guy has to be even dumber than Dumbya,
and that's saying something.
If I were overheard saying something like
that by, say, my sergeant major,
he would have handed me my ass.
Print this or not, but this guy Odierno is an asshole.
DJ
I hate to agree with right-winger (and former funnyman) Kelsey
Grammer,
but he's right when he says Spike Lee is crazy to sue Spike TV
for stealing his name.
There were lotsa Spikes looooooong before Mr Lee came around.
I'm too young to remember these guys (How often do I get to say
that?)
but the Katzenjammer Kids (sp?) had a Spike, I think.
Why does Spike think he can copyright a noun and a verb?
What what that golden thing they used to join two railroad tracks
in western Utah in the 1860s?
Is Spike, like, 150 years old?
What's next, I can't be BartCop because Bart Simpson went on
the air in 1989?
When I was a really little kid, I read an old-time Superman comic
book.
It was the one where Lex Luthor copyrighted the alphabet, and
anytime
anyone said or wrote anything, they owed Lex Luthor a dollar.
I'm maybe seven or eight reading this, and I remember thinking,
"Oh, please!
Give me a jury and 15 minutes and I'll
smack this fool so hard he'd be afraid of courtrooms."
So, forty years later, Spike tries to copyright the noun and the
verb, "spike."
One skit asked, "Let's put some alcohol
in the punch and, ...and, ...and, ...mix in the alcohol."
Spike, not everything is about you, Dude.
This is the "fence" that Israel is building.
I wonder why they refuse to call this wall a wall?
Quotes
"The Bush Administration, which never met a
fact it couldn't embellish, or, in the absence of supporting facts,
simply invent. Lying about, well, virtually
everything is a staple of politicians, but the Bush cabal has taken it
to a new level of bald misstatement.
And as we're seeing with the phantom weapons of mass destruction, this
crowd responds to inconvenient realities
like a five-year-old confronted with the non-existence of the Easter Bunny.
"Does not," the world explained. "Does
so!," the White House spokesman exclaimed…"
--Geov Parrish, Eying
lies
Hammer Building
In a scandalously greedy manner, let me mention another reason to become a member
Say, on a Wednesday, subscribers can read the first drafts of
Thursday's issue.
This is the "work in progress" before it gets all polished and
intelligent (cough!)
You see the writing that's off the record.
It "doesn't count" until it's posted on the free page the next
day.
Sometimes I write something, and I think, "Did I go too far?
Will they get the irony?"
and I might call Christian or Tommy Mack or Reef the Dog and
get a second opinion.
Other benefits - you can read the early edition and if you
spot a mistake or an error, (fat chance)
you could e-mail me and we'd make the page smarter up-front,
with less 'bartcop.com regrets the error.'
Plus, I might be able to get subscribers invited
to the
supermodel convention in September.
Only current members will be eligible to meet and have
sex with the gorgeous supermodels.
With which supermodel would you most enjoy having sex?
Plus - there's that whole radio thing, which is still in
the 'sucks' stage, but it's getting better.
I have
Part
2 of Show 5 ready in the tube and ready to fire.
Attack Iran Now!
Quotes
"We said loud and clear [to corporate scoundrels],
if you cheat the shareholder and your employees,
you will be held responsible
for those decisions. The world is now more peaceful because we acted."
-- President Liar, Minnesota,
Jun. 19, 2003
No you didn't,
You winked at let them know this White House was pro-business.
Sure, you got that dangerous Martha Stewart
($46K) off the streets, but why is Kennyboy,
who stole hundreds of millions,
still sipping Mai Tai's at the whites only country clubs?
Because you cracked down on him?
Excerpt:
BuzzFlash: Perhaps this is more of a comment,
but we found it not-so-curious that after the
controversial visit of Bush to the U.S.S.
Lincoln in the flight suit, that he returned to California
from 30 miles offshore and gave a speech
at, of all places, the United Defense plant. Do you
have any thoughts there about the fact
the President of the United States is speaking at a plant
that is 50% owned by a company that his
father is a consultant with?
Dan Briody: I think it's brazen, and I think
it's shameless. And I think that that will go down as
a hallmark of this administration. We have
seen an absolute affinity for mixing business and politics,
and throw in a war and you've got the Bush
administration. And that scene of him giving that speech
at United Defense's plant in Santa Clara
summed up perfectly what this administration is all about.
I screwed this up yesterday, so here it is with a working link
Subject: Bartcop radio
Hi,
What's the deal with Bartcop radio?
If the only people that can listen are paid
subscribers,
isn't that like preaching to the choir?
Brad
ha ha
I find myself at a disadvantage...
No Dude, the 'deal' is, I no longer have a job.
I left my very low-paying job in February to gamble on this
Wait, I did what? I quit a low-paying, do-nothing job
in the BUSH administration?
Sure, it was like trading the family cow for some magic beans,
but sometimes there
really is magic in those beans. I am pleased to report
that we have more subscribers
than I would've thought. Once I get the radio thing into
a regular rythym, I wouldn't be
surprised if we doubled our subscribers before the end of the
year.
This might actually work, but only if I can deliver the goods over time.
Yes, it would be a gamble to subscribe for 30 days.
Or, you could wait a while, and I'll get better as time goes
by!
Howard Dean
From the Boston Globe:
Dean's record isn't radically left-leaning.
He advocates a balanced federal budget.
He is an abortion-rights advocate and opposes
drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge,
yet he received top ratings from the National
Rifle Association and supports the death penalty
in some cases, like terrorism or the killing
of police officers or young children.
Tim H
They say Gore would've been president if not for the gun issue.
Who won the first Emerging Journalist Award?
Our very own Isaac Peterson!
Excerpt:
Three men of different backgrounds and
different eras will be honored for their work in the
Black press at the National Association
of Black Journalists (NABJ) 28th Annual Convention
and Career Fair in Dallas, August 6-10,
2003.
Peterson, a reporter at the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder,
wrote a series
on the Minneapolis NAACP secrecy and complaints
about its conduct and practices.
He also penned another series on the expansion
of I-35 W route and its community impact.
Woo Hoo!
Isaac got his start writing for bartcop.com
Almost immediately, he was scooped up by
the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder,
and now he's been won an award for being
an emerging journalist.
From August 6-10, he'll be staying at the Dallas Hyatt Regency.
If you're in the Dallas area, call Isaac
at the Hyatt and but him a drink.
I'll bet Issac would especially like to
meet some female Dallas BartCoppers.
In a similar but unrelated vein, Christian
Livemore has been publishing the
Effingham Herald almost by herself
(with the help of the King of Israel and
true ruler of not only Palestine, but now
Oklahoma, too).
In their recent history, they were limited
to three Georgia Press Awards in a single year.
Under Christian's stewardship, they recently
won eight Georgia Press Awards
Christian, herself won two awards (Features
and Hard News) and she shared
an award with the King of Israel for their
report on the anniversary of 9-11.
It seems bartcop.com is a hotbed of litterery excelence.
Click to Enter
Quotes
"Unlike Saddam, Bush needn't cut out his opponents'
tongues.
They're keeping silent on their own.
-- Ted Rall
"But we can't speak up - Mr. Rove doesn't allow that kind of thing..."
Burned Iraqi Children Turned Away
Excerpt:
"On a scorching afternoon, while on duty at an
Army airfield, Sgt. David J. Borell was approached
by an Iraqi who pleaded for help for his
three children, burned when they set fire to a bag containing
explosive powder left over from the war.
Borell immediately called for assistance.
But the two Army doctors who arrived about an hour later refused
to help the children because their injuries
were not life-threatening and had not been inflicted by U.S. troops.
Now the two girls and a boy are covered
with scabs and the boy cannot use his right leg.
And Borell is shattered.
"I have never seen in almost 14 years of Army
experience anything that callous," said Borell,
who recounted the June 13 incident to The
Associated Press.
"Screw
those kids. We have to save money to give my friends another tax cut."
Marty's
E! page
Ann Coulter is co-hosting 'The View' this morning (ewww).
Harper's Weekly Reveiew
'Stuff' from Alex
Lou Reed & Hollywood's Rockwalk
JFK was in Berlin 40 years ago
' Monk' set new records for USA network
Spike Jones, Jr., enters the TNN/Spike Lee fray
Comedy Central laid off 80 - it's called 'consolidadation'
Paula Zahn's hours trimmed at CNN
Eminem stunned a British audience
Diana Ross felt forced into a breathalizer test
Springsteen extends tour
And, Universal Studios are Steven Spielberg's personal cash cow.
click
From: ljbk
"Margaret Carlson has turned into a whining bitch",
whose whines and lies COVER UP
the massive damage being done to America's
working families by the feudalist
(scalia, cheney, bush, ashcroft,
etc.) who would turn America into a despotic autocracy
I * DO * wish I could add something intelligent
to express my disgust at how low
the American press/media discourse has
gone, but I will merely say that, short of
Ann Coulter's murderous diatribes (and
her freeper/dittohead/skinhead hater's chorus)
Margaret Carlson's conversation with Chris
Mathews was about as low and infantile
as two adults discoursing on any subject
could hope to go.
> "Hillary never aknowledges the incredibly reckless behavior of
her husband.
> She always portrays herself as the victim -- that
the right is always mischaracterizing the Clintons."
--Margaret Carlson, (R_Whining bitch)
Excerpt:
If one were to dig down and read every
detailed position paper of the Democrats,
in many cases one would find that there
were indeed significant differences from
Republicans. For someone like me, who places
importance on judicial appointments,
and who closely follows the Senate debates,
it was not difficult to root for a Democratic
Senate. But it was not at all surprising
to me that most voters who follow the popular
media had no idea what Democrats stood
for.
Sidebar:
If memory serves, Goldberg is famous for counting out nine thousand
dollars to the manager of
some swanky hotel that had lost 30 TVs out their upper-floor
windows. The way I remember it,
the manager said, "No hard feelings,
I'd kinda like to throw a TV out of the window, myself."
Goldberg counted him out an extra $300 and said, "Be our guest."
Can
Bush Be Both Ignorant and a Liar?
Yes. There's no reason to choose between
the two
Excerpt:
Let's address Bush's tax claim first. Its
falsity is not in dispute. Chatterbox has written elsewhere
that Bush lied when he said, "My jobs and
growth plan would reduce tax rates for everyone who
pays income tax." (The Urban Institute-Brookings
Institution Tax Policy Center found 8.1 million
people who pay taxes but will receive no
tax cuts.) Rosenbaum recognized that Bush's statement
was untrue but expressed doubt that Bush
knew it to be untrue. Can a false statement be a lie if
the speaker is unaware it is a lie?
Wait, we're going to forgive his lies because he's so stupid?
Stop this world - I want to get off.
Subject: More Moose
Moose's role as coordinator of the Sniper
Task Force, its visible spokesperson, hardly would give him
the ability to control the investigation,
let alone slow it down. Virginia had four jurisdictions involved.
Our police in this death penalty state
were pursuing the case most vigorously. The FBI was involved
in the investigation - and one of their
own had been killed by the sniper. Malvo himself spoke of a
sniper hotline volunteer giving him the
brush off early on. Given these facts, your talk about Moose
is misguided. Wasn't your original
point (way back) to expose the Limbaugh approach and parody it,
but not actually use it (except perhaps
against members of the VRWC.) After all, the Limbaugh
approach is ugly, unfair, and distorting,
isn't it?
Laurie
I have tried to use certain words when talking
about Moose.
I never said, "Moose is guilty."
I said "I don't like the guy, he's a
grandstander who looooooooooooves that spotlight
AND he was in the position that, more
dead people means more money in his pocket."
I don't think people should be in that
position. I assume that's why they have that rule Moose broke.
Saying I'm using Rush tactics, that seems
to indicate you see nothing wrong with a man being in the
"more dead = more money" position. Let's say,
just for the argument, that Moose is the straightest
arrow who ever lived - what about the next
guy, and the next? You'd better not dangle a fortune
in front of a weak man, or people will
certainly die.
Would an evil man let innocent people die
to become rich?
Look at the White House, and then tell
me we should always trust the government.
Fight back with BartCop Radio
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can't ignore and can't dismiss.
Excerpt:
"Tonight, President Bush will be surrounded by
multi-millionaires who are able to pay for laws
that allow them to avoid taxes, plunder
our natural resources, ignore workers' basic health and
safety needs, and dismantle public oversight
of their actions," said Margie McHugh, director of
the New York Immigration Coalition.
Subject: Defending Hillary
bartcop.com reader gets letter in Philly Daily News
Dowd
on Slappy
MoDo the Dragon Lady sinks her claws into Clarence
Thomas
Excerpt:
In his dissent, he snidely dismisses the
University of Michigan Law School's desire to see minority faces
in the mix as "racial aesthetics," giving
the effort to balance bigotry in society the moral weight of a Benetton
ad.
The phrase "racial aesthetics" would be
more appropriately applied to W.'s nominating convention in Philadelphia,
when the Republicans put on a minstrel
show for the white fat cats in the audience.
So, Maureen - why did you work so gard to elect these animals?
Justice Thomas scorns affirmative action
as "a faddish slogan of the cognoscenti." Quoting Frederick Douglass
on the "Negro" 140 years ago, he urges:
" `All I ask is, give him a chance to stand on his own legs!
Let him alone! . . . Your interference
is doing him positive injury.' "
He is at the pinnacle, an African-American
who succeeded in getting past the Anita Hill sexual harassment scandal
by playing the race card, calling the hearing
"a high-tech lynching," and who got a $1.5 million advance to write
his African-American Horatio Alger story,
"From Pin Point to Points After."
So why, despite his racial blessings, does he come across as an angry, bitter, self-pitying victim?
It's impossible not to be disgusted at someone
who could benefit so much from affirmative action and then pull up the
ladder after himself.
So maybe he is disgusted with his own great
historic ingratitude.
When he switched from a Democrat to a conservative
as a young man, he knew that he would be a hotter commodity in politics.
But he also knew that it would bring him
the scorn of blacks who deemed him a pawn of the white establishment -
people like
Justice Thurgood Marshall, who ridiculed
Clarence Thomas and others as "goddamn black sellouts" for benefiting
from affirmative action and then denigrating
it.
Hey Maureen, why not tell us that story again about Hillary's
bridal shower?
Call the
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to rant away.
Quotes
"There's more than two principles at large.
There are terrorists who are -- still have
designs are destabilizing the Pakistan
government, and are destroying innocent life."
--President Bloody,
with a straight face, Maryland, Jun. 24, 2003
Excuse me, Mr President?
How many children have died in Iraq in
the last 90 days?
Any what did they die for, exactly?
Up
is down, black is white, but blood's still red
by Vicki Gray saw it on
smirkingchimp.com
Excerpt:
Dissent is not treasonous. It is patriotic.
I, therefore, have no apologies for puncturing the bubble of
your virtual world with the harsh realities
of a very harsh real world. If we are to survive true to our
own internal values and safe from real
external threats, we must wake up from the frightened fugue
state we have been dream walking through
since September 11. We must face the realities of the
world clearly and courageously. The time
for comfortable self-delusion has long since passed.
With those ends in mind, won't you follow
me on a brief tour of the most egregious current lies about,
for starters, Iraq? You don't have
to agree with me. All I ask is that you think about what you read
and question what you hear...including
what I say here. Be patriotic. Think critically. Think for
yourself.
"This
woman must be Al Qaeda. Have her killed and bring me her head."
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Maybe someday Shirley will call to say "Hi!"
on the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That will be cool.