TM POLITICS-SARCASM-FINE TEQUILA-VEGAS  HUMOR-SPORTS-GARBAGE-ENTERTAINMENT New and Improved  I learned a trick from Stephen at BartCop Sports. Reports say the 28K and 56K modem people can hear BartCop radio perfectly. How do you get to the members section? Just type 'members' after the bartcop.com http://www.bartcop.com/members You'll be prompted for your login name and password.  is finally here.
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 Quotes

"I know there are serious obstacles to overcome. Introducing democracy is hard in any society.
 Liberian President Taylor needs to step down -- so that his country can be spared further bloodshed."
      -- The Unelected Idiot, who seems ready to murder Liberia like he did Baghdad
 
 

"God tells me which countries to murder."

                How many more, Governor Bush?
 

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Witnesses said a gunman shot a U.S. soldier in the neck and appeared to have been killed.
 U.S. military spokesmen said they were unable to confirm it.  At least three U.S. soldiers
 have been killed in Iraq since Thursday.

 Meanwhile, authorities interrogated three suspects detained in connection with the disappearance
 of two American soldiers. "We don't know if they were abducted or they were just killed," Compton said.
 

 Update: The bodies of the missing soldiers have been found.

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The bodies of two U.S. soldiers missing for days were discovered early Saturday,
 as the toll rises past 200 for Americans killed since war started in Iraq
 

 That's 200 brave men who will never get to live their lives,
 and Bush won't be held accountable for any of them.
 He'll blame Clinton - again - and the press will back him up.
 
 

"Soldiers in combat die. This war is important to me, so what's the problem?"

 Quotes

"The question is not whether states are wise to criminalize this or that sex act outside of marriage.
  Rather, the question is: Once the court has said that some such acts are constitutional rights,
  by what principle are any of the myriad possible permutations of consensual adult sexual activities
  denied the same standing? Once consent-- 'choice' -- supplants marriage as the important interest
  served by cloaking sexual activities as constitutional rights, by what principle is any consensual
  adult sexual conduct not a protected right? Bigamy? Polygamy? Prostitution? Incest? Even--if we
  assume animals can consent, or that their consent does not matter--bestiality?"
   --George Will, who tosses off to pictures of Dubya in his pilot costume
 
 

 "Hmmm, I'd better look into that..."

 Occupation Forces Halt Elections Throughout Iraq
  Just like in America, Bush says elections aren't really necessary

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 U.S. military commanders have ordered a halt to local elections and self-rule in provincial
 cities and towns across Iraq, choosing instead to install their own handpicked mayors and
 administrators, many of whom are former Iraqi military leaders.

 The decision to deny Iraqis a direct role in selecting municipal governments is creating anger
 and resentment among aspiring leaders and ordinary citizens, who say the U.S.-led occupation
 forces are not making good on their promise to bring greater freedom and democracy to a
 country dominated for three decades by Saddam Hussein.
 

 Looks like Iran getting punk'd by the punk who raped democracy in America.

 Subject: 2 things

 About the Lewis fight...I didn't see it either but a friend told me Lewis was losing badly but the cut on the
 other guy was so bad that the entire large Q-Tip they were using to stop the bleeding went inside the cut.

 There was no way they could let the fight go on. I saw a  picture of the guy and he was a mess.
 The worst cut was above the eye, a major problem. Thats the fight game...if blood is pouring into your eye,
 they stop the fight no matter who's winning. It ain't the first time they stopped a fight for that reason.

 As for Ann Coulter...there is no way I believe she has sold more books than Hillary.
 Outside of Faux viewers and informed liberals, no one has ever heard of the witch.

 Go anywhere and ask people who she is. Most have never heard of her.
 If anything, Rubert Murdoch is ordering cases of her book so boost sales.
 What does it matter anyway? She's nothing.

 I'd love to know how she turns Joe McCarthy into a hero.
 Get one of your readers to explain it to us.

 Ride Rich.
 

 Has anyone read the Bitch's book?

 Is there anything more stupid than CNN and FOX News tracking down men named, "Harry Potter,"
 and interviewing them to ask what it's like to have a famous name?

 The most retarded of all is CNN's Jeannie Most, who's been grating on my nerves for decades.
"This Harry Potter doesn't ride a broom to work - he drives a car."

 Jesus Christ - these people are allowed access to the airwaves?
 CNN makes Wayne and Garth look like a damn think tank.

 I have a feeling if I walked into CNN HQ in Atlanta, with my IQ of 64,
 I'd be the smartest person in the whole damn building.

 Quotes

"Today the Supreme Court embraced the common wisdom of the 20th century.
  As an openly gay man, it's the first time the high court has said my life is not illegal."
    --Mark Leno    Gay rights affirmed in historic ruling
 

"He's a homo?  God tells me homos should be killed."

 I mailed out a bunch of stickers recently.
 If you asked for some, they're on their way..

 You can get  bartcop.com  stickers FREE.
 Send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to
 bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 6-74155

 Donations accepted, but not required.

 A House divided: GOP overwhelms DFL
  by Isaac Peterson, award-winning reporter

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Many feel that the sudden and tragic death of Paul Wellstone was perhaps more of a turning point
 in Minnesota politics than had seemed apparent at the time. Republican outrage over the coverage
 of Wellstone’s memorial gave them a huge campaign issue. That outrage allowed the Republican
 Party to portray themselves as aggrieved victims of unfair Democratic exposure and resulted in
 extensive coverage of Bush’s campaign comings and goings in the last week of the 2002 mid-term
 election, with massive coverage of Bush’s last-minute campaign visit to Minnesota.

 The Fact That Hussein's Gone Doesn't Make Lying Right
    by Robert Scheer

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Never in modern times have we beheld a Congress so easily manipulated by the executive branch.
 Last week, the Democrats on the Senate Intelligence Committee caved in and dropped their
 opposition to closed hearings on whether Congress was lied to. How can they not be open to
 the public, which is expected under our system to hold the president and Congress accountable?..
 This administration's behavior is an affront to the nation's founders and the system of governance
 they crafted. It is sad that we now have a president who acts like a king and a Congress that is his pawn."

 Say it together - "But Mr. Rove said he'd be angry if we did that. We must do as Mr Rove commands us."

 I am so sick of these spineless weenies who refuse to do their jobs.

 They continue to cash their paychecks - even tho they are not working.

 If a DC lawyer is reading this, I'll pay filing fees if you sue every democrat
 on the Judiciary Committee for obtaining money under false pretenses.
 C'mon, you'll get your name in the paper and it might shame them enough
 into doing the fucking job they were elected to do.

 I am not kidding.

 bartcop@bartcop.com

 Oddity

 A quick, unscientific glance at the members roll tells me some have not
 gone to  http://www.bartcop.com/members  to see what was there.

 There are several reasons to go there:

 1. You get to read tomorrow's page today.

 2. If tomorrow's page is not yet complete, you get to watch the page grow, change and mature.

 3. You get to see Bart's mistakes, and the "You've gone too far's" that never see the light of day.

 4. The BartCop Radio Shows are there.

 5. With our new "bitrate breakthru," it's my opinion that even the 28K and 56K modems
     will easily play the radio shows which are getting better with each step we take.
     When I was at the car lot, (56K) I could get Mike Malloy easy as pie.
     Oh, it might rebuffer 2-3 times per hour, but that's nothing.

 6. All the cool kids are going there - it's the hip thing to do :)

 We will try to come up with more reasons to be a member.

 I need a business manager, someone who can stay on top of things -  maybe have contests
 for subscribers, or promotions to drum up income and interest and stuff

 Dueling Slappy Quotes

"Thomas wrote separately to say that while he considered the Texas law at issue "uncommonly silly,"
  he could not agree to strike it down because he found no general right to privacy in the Constitution."
     --Anne Gearan, Supreme Court Strikes Down Gay Sex Ban
 
 

 Thomas Confirmation Hearing, Tuesday, September 10, 1991 Afternoon Session

 Senator Biden: Now, Judge, in your view, does the Liberty Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment
                           protect the right of women to decide for themselves in certain instances whether
                           or not to terminate pregnancy?

 Judge Thomas: My view is that there is a right to privacy in the Fourteenth Amendment.

  Attribution
 

 Clarence Thomas is a liar.
 He was a liar when we met him in 1991.

 Remember he swore, under oath, that he had NEVER, not even once,
 had a conversation or expressed an opinion about the subject of abortion?
 Clarence Thomas is a liar.

 And according to George Will, Bush lied when he said color had nothing to do with picking this monkey,
 and that Slappy was "the most qualified man" to elevate to the highest bench.

 So, President Bush lied when he appointed this unqualified loser and sex pervert to the Supreme Court,
 Slappy Thomas lied to get on that court for a lifetime, and we impeached Clinton for lying about a blow job?

 ...and some people think the press is on the left?

 Reef the Dog back from LA protests

 Bart-

 We just got back from the protest of Bush's fundraiser
 at the Century City Plaza Hotel & Spa in Los Angeles.
 Over 10,000 people showed up! Hell yeah!

 There were lots of great signs in the "Bush Lied, People Died" theme.
 We were directly across the street from the hotel making all kinds of noise,
 and when the fundraiser ended all of the morons who shelled out cash for the monkey's
 hamburgers were herded onto the sidewalk outside the hotel like lemmings, waiting for
 their valeted luxury cars, with no choice but to watch 10,000 demonstrators across the
 road screaming "Liar!" and "Whore!".    It was sweet.

 As the fatcats departed in their limos,
 many of them rolled down their tinted windows and gave us the finger.

 Reef the Dog and Softnova

Thousands of honest patriots rally to protest the Illegal Ursurper's foreign
and domestic policies, outside the Century Plaza Hotel in Los Angeles, June 27, 2003.
Bush sold his soul and America's resources to billionaire fat cats in the ballroom of the hotel.

 Subject: Your satellite reception

 Bart,

 Not to nitpick but I'm sure you realize that media choice is essential in this day and age.
 So, you'll indulge me a bit of scolding on your anti-satellite comments.

 I happen to be a satellite engineer and I know that despite your problems,
 you could probably improve your reception with a bit of "antenna peaking".

 Am I the 50th or 200th person to say this?  If I am the first, let me elaborate.
 Yes rain will have a tendency to make the picture go out. But, you can do
 two things to decrease the occurrence if you are so inclined.

 1- Go through setup again and make sure you are getting the absolute strongest signal
     and that no trees (not even branches) are in front of the dish.

 2- (True GEEK Solution) Invest in slightly larger antenna (~1.2m) fitted with the appropriate LNB.
      This will make the signal stronger and leave enough "headroom" for when it rains.  The revolution of DirecTV
      was that you only needed an 18" dish - for most places.  Satellite service companies can help you with that one.

 3- Do nothing. You seem to be a bit happier if you have legitimate complaints to share with us.

 Later Dude.

 Kerry Bart,
 

 Number 3?
 Are we being serious?
 You think I'd rather miss the Poker finals and whine about it than watch them?
 Are you Catholic?

 I wanted to see the poker finals.
 I had my drugs all primed to peak at 9:30 CST, but noooooooooooooooo..
 The satellite went dead at 8:30 and came back on just at the very end.

 A lady asked, "What's the big deal about see tomorrow's page today?
 There's nothing there but holes and half stories, etc."

 It works like this:
 I usually post about 1-2 PM, then I start the next day's page.
 If you check the sneak peek at 3 PM, there's not much there.
 But if you check it at 8 PM or 8 AM the next day, you'll see stuff changed, improved, moved around etc.
 
 Sure, not everyone will like it, but it's almost like watching a band record a song, with re-takes and stuff.

 Quotes

"President Bush is a man who finishes what he starts."
    --Excerpt from an e-mail solicitation from Cheney
 

 Sure, ...except for the economy, catching his old friend and partner Osama,
 catching the rest of Al Qaeda, catching Saddam, the murder of Baghdad, finding the WMD, etc.

 How about getting him to finish this sentence:
"When I was supposed to be flying for the National Guard, I was actually..."

 How about getting him to finish this sentence:
 "I have been arrested and convicted of the following crimes..."

 How about getting him to finish this sentence:
"I had to get involved in 15 year-old Robin's abortion in Houston in 1971 because..."
 

 The only promise Bush kept is the one where he promised to take America
 in a different direction than where Bill Clinton was taking us.  He did that - for sure.

 This was sent to me by the dittohead who married by niece.
 My rebuttal had to be nicer than usual :)

 Here is the tax cut explained by the Democrats

 Click  Here

 Of course, this was written by a flaming ditto-monkey.
 He put a lie in the title.

 Quotes

"They're trying to spread out the demonstration so that people inside paying two grand for their pudding
  won't puke when they see the reality of what's going on out here. I just got in town from London, where my
  documentary exposing the Bush family fortunes is airing on primetime television, but here in the U.S.  it's like
  I'm relegated to samizdat* reporting. It's like there's an electronic Berlin Wall against covering this stuff."
   --Investigative reporter, (and my good friend) author Greg Palast
 

  *a system in the U.S.S.R. by which government-suppressed literature was clandestinely printed and distributed

 ...and we're still looking for Hold 'em Poker players.

 bartcop@bartcop.com

 Bush’s Iraqi Albatross
   by Sam Perry at  consortiumnews.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Karl Rove may have envisioned Bush in his Top Gun costume as a killer 30-second TV spot.
 But the image of a swaggering Bush on the deck of the Lincoln is turning quickly into a political
 albatross as U.S. troops continue to die in what’s becoming a nasty guerrilla war in Iraq.

 Bush’s flight-suit scene could become a reminder of Bush’s reckless over-confidence in declaring
"Mission Accomplished," much as Dukakis in a tank. If the Iraqi violence continues at its recent pace,
 the number of American soldiers killed since May 1, when Bush donned the flight suit, will exceed the 138
 soldiers who died during the so-called major combat. As of Friday, the number of post-May 1 dead at 55.
 

 Note: The count is currently at 60, at least. Plus, we have two more soldiers taken prisoner murdered.

 From: withheld

"In the past 10 years, the military had a draft-dodger as commander-in-chief for 8 years.

 It's true, Clinton had the brains to oppose that war years before America wised up to the obvious.
 That begs the question: How many more names do you think should be on The Wall in Washington DC?

 As far as Clinton's performance as Commander in Chief, he presided over eight years of peace and is
 the only president of the 20th century who never sent a man into battle who didn't come home.
 So far, Bush has gotten over 200 brave men killed for no apparent reason.

 Now for the past two years, they have had a commander who has had military training as an Officer.

 I'll bet you can't prove that. Bush refuses to say where he was doing his cocaine and whiskey and whores
 when he deserted  his unit during wartime in 1972.  A group of Vets has offered a reward if anyone can prove
 where Bush was during his desertion period.  If Bush was such a good soldier, why did Daddy buy his way into
 a National Guard "champaign unit" that was full, and was guaranteed to never see combat?

 Those with military experiance know the difference. Those that simply did not contribute to the safty
 of the country are opposed to the current president, and prefer the previous president.

 What a ridiculously gratuitous,without-foundation slur you have just written.
 Those who oppose 200 dead soldiers for no reason don't contribute?
 You don't mind a soldier dying every day for Bush's imaginary WMD?

 Relax, there will soon be enough social programs to bankrupt the country. "

 Finally, you have written something that is true.  Bush is, by leaps and bounds, the biggest spender in all history.
 He disappeared Clinton's trillions of dollars of surplus, thrown us wildly into debt we can't afford, started two wars
 (so far) and is now proposing what Rush Limbaugh calls "the biggest social spending program of the last 40 years."

 I'm glad you were able to get one sentence correct.

 Quotes

"I have never been this politically disturbed in my entire life.
  Bush has got all the power in his hands, and the American public
  is lapping it up without even realizing what it means."
     --Gloria Charny, 74
 

 It means he's going to break laws, invade other countries for false reasons,
 continue to empty the Treasury and give nicknames to reporters who play ball with the B.F.E.E..

 Subject: Spike TV

 I think the issue that Spike Lee is taking with Spike TV is that they approached
 some of his friends to do promos for it and failed to tell them he was not involved.

 That's actionable.  If he can show a pattern of Spike TV approaching his friends,
 e.g. Robert DeNiro, and having them say:  I love Spike!  That is infringing on his name.

 So what Spike TV is doing is not the same as Spiking the Punch.

 Tim H
 

 I am nothing if not reasonable.

 If that's a fair representation of what went down between the TNN network suits and Spike's friends,
 then yes - as Emily Latella used to say - "that's very different."
 (Not that I doubt you, I'm just saying different people see/hear different things.)
 Sure, if it was all about Spike, with Spike not getting any bling, that's very uncool.

 ...just like the whites-only media to leave that little detail out.

 Tax cut battles made fun

 Click  Here

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 While dear Brother-in-Christ Jerry Falwell and I were in make-up at CNN, he confessed
 to soiling his alarmingly brief undergarments with emissions of spontaneous delight when
 the Lawrence decision was read from the bench. Since he is in the Religion Industry, like me,
 he knows that anything that can be parlayed into persecution hysteria can also be rapidly
 converted into envelopes stuffed with the Lord's most treasured gift, CASH.

 A word from Jude

 Click  Here

 God told Dim Son to attack Saddam?
  So, it was God who lied about Saddam having WMD?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bush said he derived his moral heft from the Almighty Himself. What's more, the Lord had proven his devotion
 to the Crawford Crusader by crowning his military efforts with success. In fact, he told Abbas, God was holding
 the door open for Middle East peace right now -- but they would have to move fast, because soon the Creator
 and Sustainer of the Universe would have to give His attention to something far more important: the election of
 His little sunbeam, Georgie, in 2004.  Here are Bush's exact words, quoted by Haaretz:

 "God told me to strike at al-Qaida and I struck them, and then He instructed me to strike at Saddam..."
 

 Trust me, nothing is more dangerous than a crazy man acting on orders from God.

 That's why Atta flew the jets into the WTC.
 It's why there's war in the Middle East.
 It's why there's war in Ireland.
 It's why the Republicans hated the best president we've ever had.

 God told them to, and no such being exists!
 Murdering for the Invisible Cloud Being?
 That makes less sense than Son of Sam, murdering for his dog.
 At least there WAS a f-ing dog.

 This is scary shit, and it's not funny anymore.
 Did God tell Dubya to strike Paul Wellstone?

 Like walking into the Hard Rock's Pink Taco

 We went to Bixby, OK this morning and it was like Heaven.

 At the first table, they had the first of this year's Merit corn.
 Fresh, juicy, succulent and perfect - and it was their fourth-best corn!

 The next table had true royalty - The Silver King.
 This is all-white corn, and it's the best God can do.
 It's early, I haven't tried it yet, but confidence is very high.

 Next table was Calico, another white and yellow mix.
 I bought four of them just to compare, like two shots of luxury tequila.

 The fourth table had Kandy Korn.
 Hey, goofy name, but this stuff rocks.
 It's all yellow, but it's even sweeter than the Merit.

 Sidebar:
 While rummaging thru the corn, some younger guy (aren't they all?) asks me
 what to look for in the corn. He must've seen the zeal in my eyes. I told him,
"Dude, at this table it's all good. Just grab the biggest, fattest ears."

 So I'm all set up.

 We're going to have two kinds of corn, the best there is, too.
 We bought some luxury hamburger to cook on the Bart Grill.
 Maybe you didn't know they made luxury hamburger, but there's one store
 in Tulsa that sells the best Ground Chuck, and that's what grills the best.

 I got me some new hickory chips, and you want to know about hickory chips?
 This country is in such disarray, when you but hickory chips, you have to check.
 I almost bought "Hickory flavored" wood chips.  They're bootlegging f-ing wood!
 Not me, I buy the real hickory chips, thank you.
 
 Lastly, we bought the little red new potatos*   These were picked this morning,
 and they will compliment the burgers and that sweet, sweet corn to make a perfect meal.

 Of course, we'll have the Chinaco Anejo to chase it.
 
 Even under an unelected dictator with shit for brains and oil in his heart,
 life can be good if you make the effort - at least until the corn goes away.
 
 Yep, I'll be Sonny on the Causeway today.

 Subject:bitrate outcome report

 hey bart:

 success on lowering the bitrate....
 all audio files open quickly and volume is perfect.

 this is hueueueueuege.
 congrats.

 lynn
 

 Lynn, thanks.
 So far, you were the only one to write to confirm that.

 Sometimes I just don't know about people.
 I remember, years and years ago I wrote that Louis Pasteur discovered pennicilan
 and I had over a hundred replies screaming, "You idiot, it was Fleming!"

 But on the all-important radio test, which now enables everyone to hear everything,
 the readers were as silent as senate democrats watching Bush nominate a full-blown Nazi.

 I will attempt to be a better communicator.

It's June 28th, and Strom Thurmond is still dead

  Click Here

  Excerpt:
 In December, Trent Lott (R-Racist) was forced to step down from his post after he declared
 that voters of Mississippi were proud to have supported Thurmond when he ran for the White House in 1948.

 At the start of that campaign, Thurmond declared: "I want to tell you that there's not enough troops in the Army
 to force the Southern people to break down segregation and admit the Negro race into our theaters, into our
 swimming pools, into our homes and into our churches."
 

 That's not true
  Bush's good puppy press changed that quote to protect the whites-only GOP.

 In December, we played the tape from 1948 - Thurmond clearly says "niggers," not "the negro race."

 Click  Here  to listen to the ACTUAL quote - not the LIES that the AP wants you to believe.

 Why can't they just tell the truth, just give us the facts?
 Why do they always color the news to make Bush seem less Nazi?

 The media is biased for the Unelected Fraud!
 
 

 By the way, I wonder if Trent Lott will speak at Strom's service?

 ha ha

 This Just In...

 Lester Maddox (Old-style D - Racist bastard) was also "called home" by Jesus this week.
 Is God planning some big KKK rally in Heaven?

 The GOP holds a memorial for the late Strom Thurmond.
 President Bush (left) Tom Delay (in red) and Whistle Dick Cheney (at right)
 

"I'm nuts about the KKK."

 Quotes

"Bill Clinton says right-wing commentators are using demonizing tactics ... Mr. Clinton is right when
  he says that media bomb throwers attack people personally. But consider this. The Democratic party
  recently hired Al Franken to host its annual dinner. Mr. Franken, along with Michael Moore, is the
  most extreme, vicious, and unfair liberal partisan in the spotlight today. If Mr. Clinton wants to be taken
  seriously about people demonizing other people, he had better not attend that DNC dinner. Once again,
  the spin stops here. Liberal ideologues are just as irresponsible and destructive as anyone on the right.
  Both groups should evaluate their tactics. And Mr. Clinton, with all due respect, should stop pandering
  to brainwashed audiences and tell the truth once in a while. Any man who would hire the likes of Sidney
  Blumenthal and any party that embraces Al Franken has no moral authority to criticize anyone."
    --Bill O'Reilly, who's upset that Franken caught him lying big-time and confronted him with it
 

 Hey Bill, a couple of things you just lied about:
Nobody on the left is speaking to brainwashed fools, that's your specialty, not ours.
You are as big a media bomb-thrower as anyone, so just screw off, OK?
Franken and Moore aren't vicious, they just tell the truth. Vicious is when a slut like Ann Coulter
    says she wants terrorists to murder everyone in the New York Whore Times building.
     That's YOUR side, not ours.
This spin stops here? I think Franken proved that's a stupid and clumsy lie.
Both groups should evaluate their tactics?  There you go again, comparing jaywalking to murder.
Talk about brainless auduences, you say "I'm spin free" and your audience believes that,
    just like the whores at FOX News scream "Fair and balanced" when they are Bush employees.

 Have a good time today - that's an order.

Search Now:

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 Maybe someday Shirley will call to say "Hi!"
 on the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That will be cool.

 bartcop.com  and BartCop are trademarks of quality humor.
 Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)
 Hey, if Spike can do it, why can't I?