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Click to order or read the free Chapter
Quotes
"The world expects something more of an American
president than to prance around on
a flight deck dressed up like a pilot.
He’s expected to be a leader. That’s my fundamental
issue with it. It doesn’t reflect the
gravitas of the office. Furthermore, it’s a little phony."
--Gen. Wesley Clark, Newsweek
interview
"Can
I have a general killed?"
Excerpt:
"Oh, you're one of the sodomites," the
Nazi Weiner spewed at a caller.
"You should only get AIDS and die, you pig.
...you piece of garbage.
You have got nothing to do today, go
eat a sausage and choke on it."
But why did MSGOP fire this guy?
Weiner was just what NBC wanted,
a fire-breathing, nigger-hating, faggot-bashing, piece of shit.
That's why they fired Donahue, because he's
not
like that.
They said "Donahue didn't fit in," and
Weinerboy fit tighter than OJ's leather murder gloves
Weiner was exactly what Clear Channel and
FOX and the rest of broadcast journalism has become.
He's a twin, carbon-copy of Ann Coulter,
but with a smaller vagina.
MSGOP is a whore company, where whores do
the hiring and firing and on-air whores bring in
that all-important Limbaugh dollar - and
they're firing one of their hires for being a Nazi whore?
It makes no sense.
I just watch the Colorado County DA hold a press conference on
the Kobe Bryant rape arrest.
The DA said he hasn't seen any of the evidence, so he
couldn't comment on it.
The stunned press managed to blurt out a question:
"How in the world do you arrest a guy without
seeing any evidence?
Is that how things are done here in
Colorado?"
The obviously pissed DA said, "The judge
read the woman's affidavit and issued the warrant."
You mean in places besides Springfield, a woman can write
a letter to a judge and have a man arrested?
This sounds like really bad law to me.
Frankie say, "Bring it on"
Excerpt:
The retiring commander of the U.S. wars
in Iraq and Afghanistan, Gen. Tommy Franks,
repeated President NoBrain's recent schoolyard
taunt to Iraqi militants attacking our forces,
saying "bring it on" as he turned over
control of his troops on Monday.
Quotes
"I place economy among the first and most important
of republic virtues,
and public debt as the greatest of
the dangers to be feared."
--Thomas Jefferson,
Attribution
"Bring
this Jefferson Al Qaeda to me - I'll kill him myself..."
Subject: transgender is not treason
hey Bart,
For the most part I think the graphics (pictures,
parodies, etc) on your page are just not that funny,
but they're mostly made by others so, ...busy
guy, ...you've got to take what you can get.
Dude, I disagree.
I think the graphics and pictures are the
best part about bartcop.com.
Nobody has better cartoons than you see
here.
...but I'm telling you right up front,
...I don't like you, and I don't like your tone...
You're talking like someone who's just
begging
for a Number Six...
But the "transgender is not treason" one is not just not funny, it's offensive.
Dude, it's a joke on Ann Coulter, who has
more balls than any ten Democrats.
You want me to ignore the facts in this
case?
If you have transgender issues, I say support
those who believe in sexual freedom.
Fighting with me on this issue is like
sending Bush a campaign contribution.
You're barking up the wrong tree. Play
your cards wisely...
Higher on today's page you printed a letter
from Bob talking about the unchallenged public connections
being made between gays and pedophiles,
bestialist, etc. Joking that Ann Coulter is Transgender is the
same sort of thing. Would you make
a joke about her being a 'dyke'? how about 'nigger lover'?
It's important that we each take a breath...
Ann Coulter has again and again shown monstrous
amounts of testosterone.
That's a fact you nor I can change. Ann
Coulter is George S. Patton on Prednisone.
To ignore the facts would be illogical.
Look, this is a battle you and I
need to win.
(I'm guessing you have gender issues...)
You can throw a tantrum OR you could get
the joke and help fight the B.F.E.E. fascists.
"Would I make a joke about Coulter being a dyke and a 'nigger lover?"
If that's a question for me, I'd say, "Yes,
...if it's funny."
'Being Jewish is not treason'? I don't think so. But a trans joke is OK?
Dude, ...inhale, ...exhale...
The difference between a joke that's funny
and one that's not, ... is it's intent.
If you think I published a joke that was
intented to ridiculed the Jews, the blacks,
the gays or the Irish, you misunderstood
and I forgive you because I'm a nice guy.
Trans people don't deserve to be the butt
of jokes (even from the 'friendly' white liberal media),
and they certainly don't deserve to be
smeared by association, even in jest, with Ann Coulter.
Dan
ha ha
I'll agree with that!
If you're pissed about being almost-associated with some foaming
She-Nazi like Ann Coulter,
we could've saved a lot of time of you had mentioned that up-front.
Hey, I'm from dusty Oklahoma, I don't understand about the whole
gender switch thing,
but I'm fifty miles closer to you than any God-fearing Republican
could be.
Dude, we're on the same side.
Be calm and prosper...
Subject: why weinerboy got fired
Hey Bart,
It's realll simple why the MSGOP fired Michael
Savage (Weiner): his ratings must've truly sucked!
As "ideologically pure" as they no doubt
want to make themselves out to be (at least until the FCC
comes through for them), they, like any
other corporation, are all about one thing: making money.
You add it all up; the fact that his ratings
have been in the shitter from day one, the growing boycott
against his sponsors, the fact that his
lawsuit(hah!) will take a long time to develop and will probably be
a loser (like him), and the only sum of
the equation you can come up with is that they must be losing a
helluva lot of money on the deal.
That being the case, they took his latest
mouthoff and used it as a convenient excuse to cut their losses.
Even in the realm of wingnut media, Weiner
is pretty small fry, so nobody should be too outraged about his
departure. However, it should be
obvious to most by now that all the media conglomerates are most likely
losing a shitload of short-term profits
by supporting the dittomonkies. Their boards of directors must
surely be wondering if their FCC investment
is going to pay off in the long run after all, especially if
there are going to be congressional hearings
and lawsuits(real ones with merit!) involved...
In other words, we can probably expect corporate
trigger fingers to get itchier in the future as this thing
drags out; the issue of media market ownership
is simply NOT going to go away. To sum up, we can
expect some of the really big names in
the wingnut media to be sacrificed before too much longer.
Bill O'Reilly must be thinking about how sad his resume' truly looks right now...
Regards,
Shade`
We haven't heard anything from Get Your War On in over 30 days.
Melic, ask them if everything's OK.
We need more GYWO.
Subject: Show 6
'He raped the constitution, shot it in the head and dumped the body in the woods.'
Go Bart!
I'm sure you are receiving grief about your
rant about the invisible cloud being,
but I really enjoyed show 6.
(withheld)
Speaking of the radio shows, I found a clip from Show Seven I
can share.
It's about three minutes of stalker manipulation.
Katherine Harris not dead
There was an internet rumor that our least favorite Floridian
died in a plane crash yesterday.
I knew it wasn't true because Bush doesn't kill Republicans.
This is a BIG two weeks in world war II.
Help turn the tables on Bush and Ashcroft as Poindexter monitors
"the enemies of America,"
which includes anyone critical of President McWarHardon's supermarket
sweep of Iraq.
Subject: Reef on Dennis "M&M Pitchman" Miller
Bart, you published:
> Quotes
>"The next time we go to war, don't give a specific reason for the
war that
> the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam,
just do it.
> Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't
talk about Fight Club."
--Dennis Miller
As I recall, the guy who started "Fight
Club" in the movie (played brilliantly by Edward Norton)
turned out to be a simpering schizophrenic
latent homosexual cult leader TERRORIST who
blew up some American skyscrapers in the
grand finale.
Fuck you, Dennis Miller.
Reef the Dog
There's Wimbledon, soccer and BIG-time analysis of the Tour de France.
Click to Enter
Subject: Tiger Woods
I'm sure you want to join golf fans everywhere
in congratulating Tiger Woods,
the greatest golfer in the world,
on his impressive win in the Western Open.
BTW, please place the Bartcop Hex on me, my golf game needs improvement.
Eric S.
It appears the weekly loser was five shots better than the no-name
who came in second.
For "the greatest ever," he's sure doing a pitiful job defending
that title.
Marty's
E! page
Michael Dare's "Disinfotainment Today"
Earth, Wind & Fire
Weiner was finally fired by MSGOP
Roger Daltrey defends Pete Townshend
TNN may now be 'Spike TV'
The last 'Battle of Buccaneer Bay' in Vegas
Princess Di to be comic book superhero
Mold & Ted Nugent's home
(The mold is from Ted 50's ideas...)
And, space cognac
click
Neil Boortz
What's the deal with this guy?
I thought he was your typical vulgar Pigboy clone, but he's not.
I heard an hour of him this morning during my corn run to Bixby,
OK.
I heard him say that nobody hates like a "Christian,"
which is exactly on the mark.
He told stories of the e-mail he getsfrom "Christian" that want
to murder him.
He also said gays have rights, and the gay-haters should knock
off the hate, which is correct.
He also said Mike Weiner (R-Necrophiliac) should have been fired
for his death wish to gays.
...and I'm thinking, "How did this guy get on the AM airwaves?"
Then I found out.
He called Hillary "Hitlery," because he disagreed with Hillary's
backing of some school
proposal to help New York school children who were failing to
make higher test scores.
That explains how this guy got on, or stays on the air.
Because Hitlery wants to destroy all the children in New York
state.
C'mon, Neil, ...you don't call someone "Hitler" because their
education views are different
from yours. You call somebody "Hitler" who has murdered
10,000 innocent people in the
last 90 days for no goddamn reason other than the claim that
God told him to. That would
fit into your "crazy murdering Christians" theory, wouldn't it?
You could also call somebody "Hitler-ish" if they vehemently and
ferociously supported
the murder of 10,000 innocent people in the last 90 days for
no goddamn reason, which
would be all of talk radio, all of cable TV and, of course, Fox
News and MSGOP.
Get your facts straight next time, Neil.
Speaking of Mike Weiner and sex with the dead...
Savage
and foreplay with a department store mannequin.
Hey Mikey, you ever had sex with a man or a woman?
I'll bet it's a lot better than what you've been getting lately,
you poor bastard.
I went to the weiner-necrophilia websiteto
see what his pitiful spin would be
on his wishing that his gay caller would
"choke
on a sausage and die."
(Now, see, there's a guy who belongs
on Christian AM radio.)
After wishing the caller dead - twice - Weiner says that shouldn't
count because,
sitting four inches from a microphone in a radio studio, he had
"no idea" that his
"kill the gays" hate speech would be heard by anybody else.
Quote from the Weiner Nazi:
"In no way did my comments reflect my views
of disease and suffering in any way.
I have spent my entire life in the field
of alternative medicine trying to heal the world
and bring comfort to the sick. If my
comments brought pain to anyone I certainly
did not intend for this to happen and
apologize for any such reaction."
Dear Liar,
You have built your entire career (ha ha, sorry) by being more
of a Nazi than Rush.
That's your niche - being a bigger dick than the vulgar Pigboy.
That's why MSGOP hired you, that's why you got a show on the
"Christian" AM airwaves,
because you think blacks and gays should be put into ovens and
you have the "courage" to say so.
You're a tiny, disgraced man who has only one chance to redeem
himself and attempt to
bring back some honor to the Weiner name. It involves you in
a closet with a Glock.
Please tend to this matter at once.
I'll bet your mannequin would join you.
Quotes
"The entire country will benefit from Paul's
work establishing a new agency, and it will be one of his greatest legacies."
-- Tom Ridge, lying his ass off.
Top
Homeland Security Official Resigns
Tom, it's my understanding that a Catholic who tells really big
and serious lies will go to hell.
Do you like a warm climate, Tom?
If you were telling the truth, you would've said, "We
had to fire this asshole because he told the truth
about Bush wanting to give tax cuts
to his friends more than he wants to shield us from terrorists."
Oh sure - we have money for Bush's millionaire friends, but we
can't afford any training or masterials
for the first respondents of another attack like Bush allowed
on September 11th.
Quotes
"The Republicans used to be the party of the
First Methodist Church, and the Democrats of the great unwashed.
Now the Republicans are the hellions,
and the Democrats are the ones you want to bring home to mother.
The G.O.P. is making such inroads among
younger voters for the same reason that Fox News is making
inroads among younger viewers. We live
in a culture that values brazen certainty and loud conviction,
no matter how wrongheaded. Pity the
Democrats, stuck with the wrong set of virtues."
--James
Traub, Temperament
Wars
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Oddity...
Since yesterday's radio show, I haven't gotten one e-mail with the words "Gilligan" or "Edinburg."
Sometimes, life is surprising...
Call the 
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to rant away.
Quotes
"Unlike some in my party who continue to question
our use of force in Iraq, I have not wavered
in my belief in the justness of the
war we fought. In this, I know I am following in the proud
tradition of Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy
and Clinton, all of whom were ready and willing to
apply our military might when necessary
to protect our security."
--Joe Lieberman,
Getting
Back on Track in Postwar Iraq
Joe, you bet whatever tiny chance you had of being president that
your hero The Mass Murderer
would find WMD and justify his killing spree, but that didn't
happen so get the hell off the stage.
Besides, Joe, if yopur hero HAD found something, he'd squash
you like a bug next year, so what
the hell were you doing placing yourself if that unwinnable situation
in the first place?
Do you play poker, Joe?
My ne'er-do-well friend unplugged my mouse
while I had seven programs open.
The last time he did that, I had to buy
a nhew computer.
Once it was disconnected, all I could do was kill power.
When it came back up, I was missing files and directories,
which is why this short issue is so late.
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Sexy brain Shirley
Shirley - call me, just to say "Hi!" Leave a two-minute
message, please.
I'll play it for your fans at bartcop.com Maybe
say some nasty things about George Bush.
As far as I know, Shirley, our politics are identical.
Bush
is a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's
a stupid criminal and a greedy bastard.
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Please call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool - and I'll catch you on your next American
tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of quality
humor.
Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and
Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)
Hey, if Spike can do it, why can't I?
