Subject: A very useful quotation
I knew I remembered this quotation from
when I was in Catholic school, and had to learn Latin,
but couldn't remember where I'd read it.
I finally tracked it down in Plutarch:
Phocion of Athens was asked when he would
advise the people to go to war. He responded:
"When young men are willing to serve, when rich
men are willing to pay their taxes,
and when politicians stop using public
money to line their own pockets."
It looks to me like we have one out of three in our country
Brendan
Subject: "Random" traffic stops begin today in Michigan
Hey Bart!
How many 'random' checks do you think I'll
get with:
- a couple of anti-Smirk bumperstickers;
- a couple of pro-choice bumperstickers;
- and a bartcop bumpersticker
on the back of my car?
Any good spots around K-Drag where I could
move to?
Or should I consider Canada a little more
closely?
Keep the hammer pounding...
Tom
Canadian Citizenship Application Forms
Subject: Right Wing Celebrities
Bart,
I have to question why you put Rosie O'Donnell
in with right-wing celebrities.
Not only has she fought valiantly for gay
adoption against Jeb Bush in Florida,
but she's using her celebrity to promote
left-wing causes like gay rights and
gun control (with which you somewhat disagree,
but it is a liberal cause).
And saying that she "lost" her show, when
she chose to leave it is really misleading.
Frankly, it bothers me when my liberal
heroes resort to the conservatives' tactic
of over exaggeration to make a wrong point.
Perhaps Rosie does not agree with every
liberal cause there is, who does?
But I think it's a mistake to call her
one of "them" when she is so clearly one of "us".
Next you'll be calling Oprah conservative
because she is friends with Arnold
Schwarzenegger (though I honestly can't
imagine why she likes him).
Thanks,
Cris
Cris, you must be talking about the old O'Donnell.
The very mention of the new O'Donnell pisses me off.
Yeah, there was a time when she was a Democrat, but for the last
few years she's been
blasting both Clintons with everything she's got, and
she's cuddled up to the Monkey in
the White House, even tho he'd take her kids from her if he could.
If you have a strong stomach and can handle the truth, click on
rosie-the-slut.htm
Please write back and tell me where I'm wrong.
From: Patrick
Subject: Halloween
Bart,
I thought you'd like to see the winner of
the Halloween costume
contest at Our Mother of Perpetual Pain
High School.
That's not funny!!!
Subject: Homeland Security BS
I can't believe this bullshit. After
the Grand Old Bastards steal every election they
can get their oily hands on, after EVERY
rundown of the elections say that Democrats
lost because they kept caving and not standing
up for what they're supposed to represent,
they cave AGAIN on the department of Homeland
Security.
"Homerand Sur-car-iddy"
"No, Mr. President. Homeland Security."
"Sur-cur-P-diddy?"
To hell with Monica.
Seems like nearly every Democrat in congress
is stumbling over
themselves to suck off Smirk and his puppetteers.
Adversary
Good, I'm glad others are revolted by the Democrat's appeasement of the big bully, too.
Subject: You want to argue on guns
I think we agree mostly that the person
on a big ranch in the middle of nowhere needs a gun.
But I wish gun owners would admit that
a home with a gun is NOT safer than a home without a gun.
It is actually much more dangerous.
Hmmmmmm....
When you bring a gun (any gun; hand gun
or long gun) into a home that weapon is far and away
more likely to kill or injure someone who
lives there than an intruder. That's the fact.
If
that's true, I'll bet it's in homes with children.
I am definately not saying no guns. Here are my ideas for gun control:
1) When you buy a gun you've just signed
up for the "well regulated militia"
mentioned in the second
amendment, and will show up to drill on a regular schedule.
ha ha
That's funny, but you're
just kidding.
2) The registered owner of the gun is responsible
for that weapon until it is reported stolen.
PERIOD. So when somebody
steals Granddad's rifle, well Granddad is just as guilty
as the trigger man (or
kid).
So what if Granddad has
the gun locked in a safe (stupid place to keep a gun)
and his 16-year old
grandson finds the well-hidden safe combination and gets the gun.
You're going to put Granddad
in prison for being a responsible gun owner?
I'm not sure I'd want
to live in AM's America.
I think only the guilty
should go to jail, and jailing Pops won't bring back the dead.
If you can't handle those responsibilities you have no business owning a gun.
AM
AM, what do you do when some idiot starts beating on your door
at night?
Do you pray?
Do you dial 911 and hope to get something besides a busy signal?
I've had to pull my gun out either 2 or 3 times.
Once was in a motel room in Dallas.
Some large sonofabitch starting BEATING on my door with a vengeance,
so I picked up
the always-ready-to-fire Glock and pointed it at the door and
I mentally prepared myself.
If that door had opened, I was going to check for a police uniform
- and if I didn't see one
I was ready to pull the trigger and take my chances in court.
Eventually, the guy stopped banging and walked away.
Afterwards, Mrs. Bart asked, "Were you
nervous?" and I said something like
"I would've been a lot more nervous
without the Glock."
Please tell me what YOU would do in that instance?
Pray?
Hide behind the bed?
Ask the crazed door-banger to give you time to call the cops?
Travel with a baseball bat and hope he (or they) only brought
a pen knife?
Hope the cops weren't busy at Krispy Kreme?
C'mon, tell me what you'd do.
When I had the Hard Rock Island nightclub, some drunker-n-shit
biker told me I was
going to illegally serve him a drink or he was coming over that
counter and kick my ass.
Trust me - he got that drink. I pussied out - I had to,
he was drunk and ready to charge me.
That was the last day (1986) that I haven't been within arm's
reach of a gun.
(Except that one day at Area 51 when some drunks started f-ing
with us.
I had to back down because I left the Glock at the casino because
we were expecting to be pulled over by the Navy Seal goon squad.
Another thing - when you're in a bar, the cops figure security
is the bar's problem.
We'd call the cops and say, "We have
trouble cooking at the Hard Rock," and the cops
would say, "Have any shots been fired?"
and whern we said no, they suggested we hire
more security because, like Cheney during Vietnam, they had "other
shit to do."
I am interested in your answer to the motel quiz.
I will print your answer.
I'm not trying to be a smart-ass, but since dozens of people will
read this, I want to know
if there's a decent answer to the hotel quiz, so when I make
the talk shows, I don't have
some wiseguy sneak up on me with a good, common-sense alternative
to the action I took.
Subject: Somebody's got to say this
Bart:
I have just finished this response to an
article on MSNBC.com. Our Liberal Media in action.
"In defense of 'armchair generals'"
This is the second article (first being
Kelly's 'Chicken Hawks' article) I have seen on this subject,
and the second stupid straw man arguement.
When are you going to get a real journalist to talk
seriously about the subject of hypocracy,
and what these terms really refer to. I know these guys
are intelligent enough to know, so what
is it they are really saying?
I have not heard anybody say that experience
in war is necessary to decide whether to go to war.
(Seneca Indians gave this decision to the
women, if my references are correct). But these terms do
refer to a quality of SO MANY of our leaders
that leaves a lot of doubt as to trusting them.
So, Mr Hitches (and Mr Kelly) let's
start our article with the accepted definition:
"A person who now advocates war but who
once took special measures to avoid military service."
Now start writing about why Richard Perle,
Chaney, Wolfowitz, Ashcroft, DeLay, Hastert, Lott,
Adelman, etc, etc, etc watched a war they
were in favor of go by, that killed many of their generation,
and actively persued means to avoid being
brought into the conflict. Or even join the military.
Then go on to explain how we should all
just trust the wisdom and leadership these people display.
NOT!
Dave Coomber
Dave, I support our military boys, but I wish one of them would
explain to me why they
hate Clinton for trying to stop the Vietnam, meat-grinder,
and love the Chickenhawks
who wiggled out of service and the AWOL sons of bitches who deserted.
Could somebody explain that to me?
Subject: re: the vote was rigged
Dear Bartcop,
I haven't really said this to anyone, probably
because I didn't want to believe it was true,
but I also found the VNS statement on election
day to be highly suspicious.
Remember, after the 2000 election, there was a
lot of hubbub about what went wrong
with the VNS predictions, and what changes needed
to be made. I kept telling everyone
that would listen, "Hello! Ahem!
The problem is not VNS -- their data was right!"
In other words, had the election mechanism in
Florida accurately captured the will
of all voters, the state would indeed have gone
to Gore, and the accuracy of VNS'
prediction would never have become an issue.
Fast forward to election day 2002. VNS announces
that it will not be releasing its
exit poll data because there are problems with
it. I said to myself at the time that if
there is a manipulation of the voting data, that
exit poll data would show a discrepancy.
How convenient that there is no such check in
an election that defied pre-election poll data.
How widespread are the touch-screen voting systems
now? It's unbelievable that so many
people are suckered into thinking that computerized
voting equals more accurate voting.
As a database programmer myself, I know how ridiculously
easy it is program a random
1 in 10 or 1 in 20 vote switch. There is
no paper trail, and the mechanism is hidden.
And there is no exit poll data.
When I go to the polls, what makes me confident
about my vote being counted is the
serious demeanor and attention to detail of the
mostly competent and dedicated poll workers.
If I were to go vote on a touch screen mechanism,
I wouldn't feel confident unless I could
see the source code of the program. But
most Americans for some reason believe that
computers do things better than humans.
As the old saying goes, 'Garbage in, garbage out'.
These computer voting systems may come pre-loaded
with garbage and it would be
difficult for us to know about it. At least
one of the manufacturers of these systems
- ES&S - employs as its lobbyist Sandy Mortham,
founder of Women for Jeb.
Those are the machines purchased by Florida.
I hope that the corporate powers that are increasingly
in control of our Government are
not manipulating elections this way. It
seems hard to believe. I think everybody wants
to believe in the basic integrity of our democracy.
However, at what point does our
desire to believe cloud our perception?
I don't want to be a conspiracy nut either,
but I think we've got to look at these things.
If the vote is being manipulated now,
could it also be that Paul Wellstone's plane
was sabotaged to snuff out the voice
of this country's most powerful progressive voice?
Could it also be that this
Administration knew about the 9/11 attacks and
allowed them to happen?
It's chilling to think about.
And yet we already know, thanks to the investigations
of Greg Palast, that the voting rolls
in Florida were purged of up to 100,000 legal
voters, most of them likely Democratic voters,
through the manipulation of a computer program
by a company with strong Republican ties.
They have the will. There is a way.
Could it be done? Perhaps it could.
Is the mainstream press going to stop them?
Not likely.
If you had asked German citizens in 1935 whether
they believed Hilter would try
to take over the world, cause a World War, and
exterminate 6 million Jews,
howmany of them would have believed it?
I think I'm going to be sick.
-Peter Fuhry
p.s. - I love your site, sorry for the depresssing
rant, and you go ahead and talk about Tequila
and Shirley Manson all you want (for if you don't
then the terrorists have already won)
"And I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords"
-Kent Brockman
Subject: hey, I'm a good guy, really
Rome,
I wish my accomplishments were recognized
like my fellow world leaders.
Why don't people like me?
signed.
Stalin
Hey Cop,
When I tried to say something about bartcop
at lucianne.com
they kicked me off the website. Did
you piss off Luicianne?
Doug White
Doug, not specifically.
Lucy the Bat can't handle the truth.
Subject: Dubya the magnificent
This was clearly written by a big fan of 43:
"We might as well have one of those inflatable
dolls with sand in its base in the Oval Office
- one of those horrible looking things
with a big red nose that you can punch as hard as you want,
only to have it bounce right back up and
leer at you some more. Nobody really likes it or wants it
around, but it serves a useful purpose
because all the deranged people who maintain it keep talking
endlessly about what a wonderful leader
it is, and how privileged we are to see it make so many
quality decisions on behalf of its subjects.
Even if the fuckin’ thing gets a hole in
its side and it slowly deflates, the press corps will blither on
about how inspiring it all is, and how
once it’s back on its feet, the firm, decisive leadership to which
we’re all accustomed will be more impressive
than ever. Never mind that all the thing ever does is
wobble around and stare stupidly from its
piggish little plastic eyes, because it’s our president,
and is entitled to our absolute respect
and utmost deference."
TE
Subject: Remembering Who We Are
While I am a Christian and an American before I am a Democrat, I am nonetheless, very proud to be a Democrat.
I am proud to be a Democrat, because when
this country was ravaged with an economic depression, we were
the party who stepped in to help and with
the leadership of Franklin Roosevelt, we stopped the starving and
put people back to work.
I am proud to be a Democrat, because we
were the party who decided that after working one's entire life,
that there ought to be some kind of decent
living or pension for retirees and we formed Social Security. I am proud
to be a Democrat because we were the party
who brought forth the G.I. Bill so our returning veterans could have
a chance to go to college and get an education.
I am proud to be a Democrat because we were the party that tried
to finish what Lincoln started and finally
end racial injustice and segregation. And while we are still not quite
there yet,
we shall overcome.
I am proud to be a Democrat because we are
the party that fought for Medicare and Medicaid, reduced lunches
for poor children, head start, the family
leave bill, clean air and water and a first rate education for every American
child regardless of his or her social or
financial status. I am proud to be a Democrat, because while we understand
that businesses need to make a profit and
we must constantly grow the economy, we must still also take care
of
our priorities. Our priorities must always
be children and the working poor who only want to live the American
Dream like the rest of us who have been
very blessed in our lives. John Kennedy once said, "If we cannot help
the many who are poor, how can we ever
expect to save the few who are rich."
This is why I am a Democrat. I urge every
Democratic candidate to be sure they know why they are a Democrat
and then proclaim those values and our
vision for the future of this great country. If we do that and we keep
God
always as our first focus, we will have
made a great contribution to our country.
Stay proud.
Bruce Archer
Subject: One Side and One Side Only
Funny how the Dems can hold a memorial for
Wellstone and because their political passion
for their beliefs surfaces they are chastized
for "turning a funeral into a political rally, but when
a draft-dodging SOB uses one of America's
most solemn holidays which commemorates those
who died nasty deaths in defense of their
country as a photo op and forum for his oil war,
the American press does not spend the next
full week trashing his "vulgar" display of raw politics.
c dubya
CD, that's what happens when the press is owned by the family
who stole power.
We don't have a free press in this counrty.
Our press is a f-ing joke.
Subject: Jesus
Hey Bart,
What would Jesus do if he had nuclear weapons?
Keep up the good work.
Dr. C
Well, "W" claims he's a Christian, so I guess that proves Jesus
would bomb
and murder a hundred thousand goat herders, just like Monkey
Boy.
Subject: You're cool, dude
The future looks pretty bleak. The
media is run by ditto-monkeys.
The country is run by fascists. The
economy's shot to hell.
I'll never afford retirement (in 2055).
The world's going to hell in a handbasket.
Oy vey, I wish Clinton was still president.
Or at least I wish Dubya would just stop
being so damn stupid.
But it will never happen. Sigh.
Thank Moses I still have your site to bring
me the truth.
Keep up the good work, sonny boy, you make
me proud to be a non-pansy.
Tessie
