TM Politics - Stocks -
Entertainment - Chinaco Anejo - Humor
We think we have solved the Instant-Load problem for good.
If you thought about subscribing, but are afraid
http://www.bartcop.com/members
Click Here to subscribe
|
||||
|
||||
BlackBoxvoting |
PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com .Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155 |
|
Bart Cook BartCop Sports BC Entertainment Buzzflash Daily Howler Arianna Huffington Demo U-Ground Gene
Lyons
|
Please visit our newest sponsor
Quotes
"Another soldier was killed Wednesday in an
attack on a convoy in Baghdad, bringing the number
of American battle
deaths in Iraqi to 148 surpassing the 147 killed in Dad's 1991 War."
--The soulless bastards at
CNN, continuing to cover for Bush no matter what the price
U.S.
soldier killed
While not technically a lie, CNN is doing all they can to pretend
there aren't 224
dead Americans.
By qualifying the deaths as "battle deaths," CNN wants America
to continue to tolerate this war
because, after all, "only" 147 men have died, right?
Lying bastards, refusing to tell the whole truth because Mr Rove needs a war he can manage.
By the way, how did those other 76 men die?
Car accidents?
Can 76 men die in car accidents?
"They
weren't drafted, they knew there were risks...
...and
if any of them go AWOL or desert, I'll have them shot on sight."
Excerpt:
"Bush and his pet poodle Tony Blair contend they
won't be proved wrong in their prewar claims
about Iraq's weapons capabilities. Even
if they are, says Blair, a menace has been defeated.
ha ha
We're dead certain that we're right about
the need for 224 Americans to die in Iraq, but even if
we're not, who cares? At least Bush got
to play with Clinton's military and cluster bomb a city of 5 million.
Sidebar:
If Bush's goal was to free enslaved people and topple a murderous
dictator,
why didn't he take out Castro, who's only ninety miles away?
Oh, that's right.
Cuba doesn't have any oil.
Nothing
Left To Lie About
With BushCo reaming the nation on just
about
every possible front, is implosion imminent?
Excerpt:
It's almost as if you should cheer the
invidiousness, it is so spectacular, unprecedented,
the tower of lies reaching the point where
you, Jaded and Benumbed American Citizen,
are forced to either recoil and ignore
and deny, succumb and scream and laugh, or, like
Bush himself, just sort of stand there,
wide eyed, dumfounded, blinking hard, looking more
blank and confused than ever, as the unified
BushCo front begins to gloriously unravel.
Quotes
"It should not have risen to President Bush's
level..."
-- Fork Tongue Ari, explaining to Dave
why Bush's invasion justifications were bogus
Wait, did Ari say there was something on
this planet that shouldn't rise to Bush's level?
Bush's intelligence is lower than Death Valley.
Everything has a higher elevation than Bush's intelligence.
Kucinich slings President Frog killer
Bush's pet media refuses to report the facts about this lawsuit
Is
Bush guilty of sexual assault?
The woman who claims Smirk raped her says, "Yes,
he is."
Excerpt:
Not even scandal sheets like the National
Enquirer will report on this lawsuit, to my knowledge, although they cover
the latest allegations about Clinton and
other Democrats. Hell, I once read a story in one of those scandal sheets
that
said Clinton was dating a woman with three
breasts. And they can’t find the space to mention a sexual assault
lawsuit
against our latest White House occupant?
If Schoedinger had filed a lawsuit against
Clinton, do you think the story would be at least mentioned in every
U.S. media outlet from Maine to Hawaii
to Alaska to Florida? I’d bet my mortgage on it.
Can you say mainstream media double standard, once again?
Wait, let me get this straight:
After CIA head George Tenet says he's responsible for the
bogus info in Bush's speech,
Blair says everything was true and the British government stands
firmly behind it.
Tenet and Blair can't both be right.
Tenet says it's bogus, Bush's poodle says it's real.
Which one is lying, or are they both lying?
Sidebar:
I am so jealous of the Republican Party.
When the GOP president needed his party
in a time of crisis, like today's Poodle speech
the GOP stamps and hoots with applause
every time the president clears his lying throat.
The Democrats have NEVER done that - not
in my lifetime, anyway.
No matter how successful Clinton was, they
always stabbed him in the back.
On the reverse side, when Reagan & Bush
got caught in Iran-Contra, the GOP stood behind them.
They did everything they could to save
Reagan & Bush, unlike the Democrats. When Clinton got
caught with Monica, the Democrats lined
up to condemn him as an immoral scumbag.
I guess it's part of the "We wouldn't
want to be like them" horseshit
that allows the bad guys to win
and take everything while the Democrats
kick the dirt and wait for their next paycheck to come in.
I'll bet Clinton watched that speech yesterday and wondered why he never got that from his party.
Source
for "sexed up" WMD lies found dead
WMD Scientist's Death Rocks British Government
Excerpt:
The political fallout was immediate. Prime
Minister Tony Blair, who learned about the
discovery of the body while flying from
Washington to Tokyo, promised an independent
judicial inquiry into the death if the
body was confirmed to be Kelly's.
But opponents called for Blair to return
and face a broader probe into the case he made
for war. The shock even sent Britain's
pound tumbling half a percent on currency markets
as traders weighed the severity of the
crisis for Blair.
Click
Here for FauxNewschannel coverage of Kelly's death
"I deemed
him an enemy combatant. Fuck 'em. I took him out.
He won't be talking to no more reporters any more."
Another day, another brave man lost
Excerpt:
A U.S. soldier was killed Friday when a
bomb detonated under a military convoy
in which he was traveling in this violent
city west of Baghdad, the Army said.
Subject: The vulgar racist Pigboy and football
"The fascinating thing is that on the first day
of the news about Limbaugh's hiring by ESPN, no straight news stories
went out on a limb to remind readers about
Limbaugh's past. The past would seem significant, since he is about to
pontificate
on the NFL, where well over half the players
are African-American. Limbaugh has feasted off berating feminists, gay
men and
women, and people of color. African-Americans
have come in for supercharged blasts of his hot air. In the 1970s, Limbaugh
told an African-American caller, ''Take
that bone out of your nose and call me back.''
Limbaugh has always had crime and black
people on the brain.
He once said, ''Have you ever noticed
how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?''
He said, ''The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.''
When Spike Lee said that African-American
children should be allowed to skip school to see his movie on Malcolm X,
Limbaugh said: ''Spike, if you're going
to do that, let's complete the education experience. You should tell them
that they
should loot the theater, and then blow
it up on their way out.''
...Limbaugh once complained about African-Americans:
''They are 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?''
ESPN and Disney should be made to care
about hiring someone to cover a majority black sport who does not care
about black people."
--Derrick Z. Jackson, Limbaugh's
baggage
Boy, I'd pay real money to watch the Pigboy tell Ray Lewis to take that bone out of his nose.
But then again, all NFL stars are super-rich, so they might look
past his overt racism
and embrace the whites-only son of a bitch while chasing that
all-important tax cut.
If you, the reader,
sent in an audio file that
I haven't yet used,
could you re-send it?
Plus, a few people sent is bartcop jingles
and stuff that was super-professionally done,
but I haven't heard from you - let's do
some more!
Also, if you "do" audio files, we should probably find a way to barter you in to a free subscription.
For instance:
If somebody
regularly watched and taped The Daily Show, I would make you a member
if you sent in small
MP3s of Jon's best ninety seconds.
same for
Dave and, possibly.. Jay
Bill Maher's show is
coming back TOMORROW NIGHT, and he often has good stuff
Maybe even the enemies - Dennis
Miller, vulgar Pigboy, Hannity, O'Reilly. Laura the Unloved?
If you sometimes listen to
these shows, why not tape them, send the best clips in
and become a "made man" in the member's section?
Mick Rasley Silver
He can do anything with silver.
Barry Crimmins
Excerpt:
Bush has full confidence in George Tenet--
as a fall guy!
Of course Tenet didn’t agree to take the
blame for Bush’s pathological lies without first receiving
assurances that the court-appointed prez
would stand behind him. Last summer when the FBI took
the hit for the administration’s 9/11 negligence,
no heads rolled there, either. The old rule applies-- if you
take the fall for George W. Bush, you land
somewhere soft. (I, by the way, wrote that rule)
Tic Tacs beat President Murderer by almost 18,000 votes,
but the crooked Supreme Court ruled the contest for Bush, anyway.
"I lubs
Massa Bush"
That Tom Sullivan who's subbing for the vulgar Pigboy today?
That's the "Sullivan Institute"
that Rush claims tracks his accuracy,
always finding that Rush is 99 and-some-fraction percent accurate.
It's a f-ing joke on the morons who think Rush is for real.
My own boss, two jobs back, looked me right in the eye and said,
"But Bart, he's been documented right
99.4 percent of the time!"
Sure, my old boss was an extremely uneducated moron with shit-for-brains,
but at least a third of America is that stupid - swear
to Koresh.
The 70 percent who think Saddam caused 9-11 believe the lies they're
told.
They believe that horseshit
because the Democrats don't see any need to correct it.
The Democrats have no desire to win their own goddamn House ands
Senate races,
much less bothering to win the presidency back from those who
kidnapped it.
That pisses me off.
Subject: Bart--Latest from Joe B in LA
Bart,
here is the latest info on Jon:
My sister said he was in Iraq for a couple
of weeks. He is Navy
paramedic and they sent him to a Marine
hospital in Iraq.
He and his best friend were in a convoy
looking for Marines in trouble.
They came across some injured Marines,
Jon's buddy got out of the jeep, walked
towards them, stepped on a land mine and
nothing was left of Jon's best friend.
Then, Jon was on a night patrol and got
ambushed. John was working on a wounded
Marine and an Iraqi bayonetted him in his
left shoulder. The Iraqui shot at Jon too.
Luckily, Jon had his Kelvar on and the
shot deflected but his left shoulder is really messed up.
Jon is suffering from severe trauma and
he cannot sleep unless he is medicated.
Bart, please let EVERYONE know I appreciate
their prayers and good thoughts for this innocent fella.
Joe B
Joe, sounds like Jon has earned a Purple Heart.
It's just a wild guess, but I'll bet 90 percent of Purple Hearts
were NOT awarded
to men who engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the enemy.
I'm glad he's coming home.
Excerpt:
A multitude of stories appearing within
hours of the Bush/Rice statements and Tenet's "confession" disclosed
that the DCI (Director of Central Intelligence)
had successfully and personally argued for the removal of a
similar line three months before the State-of-the-Union
speech. His admission is not credible.
Statements by both Bush and departing press
spokesman Ari Fleischer that "the matter is now closed" will likely
go down as wishful and quite possibly delusional
thinking. Famous last words. Recalled is the line from Watergate's
John Dean, "There is a cancer growing
on the Presidency." This is the kind of cancer that eats official after
official
until there is nothing left between it
and the King.
Thanks to Migs
Click Brit Hume's crown to visit fauxnewschannel.com
General:
G.I.s who rip leaders will pay
They'll let the 'good' soldiers come home and do FOX News interviews,
while the 'bad' soldiers can stay in Baghdad until they're picked
off, one by one.
Excerpt:
"I've got my own 'Most Wanted' list," said a
2nd Brigade sergeant. "The aces in my deck
are Paul Bremer, Donald Rumsfeld, George
Bush and Paul Wolfowitz."
Many soldiers are openly asking why they
are in a country that wants them out.
They complain that their commanders
have gone home.
Frustration with the powers in Washington
is a main theme.
"I can guarantee you they've never stood out in
a checkpoint in the heat of the day, day after day,
full battle rattle, always wondering if
today's the day somebody's going to shoot me. Do they even care?"
one soldier told a Knight Ridder reporter.
Excerpt:
Voters rate only Bush's performance in
the war on terrorism positively, 59% - 40%.
Opinion is split on foreign policy, 49% positive compared to 50% negative.
His performance on health care is rated 36% positive, 61% negative;
the environment, 31% positive, 65% negative;
taxes, 45% positive, 54% negative;
and jobs and the economy, 33% positive,
66% negative.
For the first time, more likely voters
(47%) say it's time for someone new in the White House,
compared to 46% who said the President
deserves to be re-elected.
Warning: Zogby is for sale. His numbers can be purchased.
Got a $20 bill? Zogby can get you the numbers you
need.
Have a question or a comment?
Email Bart bartcop@bartcop.com
I hate when that happens...
This always happens to me. I'm out, enjoying life, and
I meet some vivacious young lady who likes
Shirley and Vegas and girl-on-girl porn and sweet Bixby
corn and Chinaco Anejo and it seems like
she's always more leftist than me, but they're so darn
cute!! I forgive them for supporting Nader
and eventually we find ourselves in bed and becoming a power-couple,
so we decide to take off for
a cross-country, ...no, ...a worldwide, romantic
whirlwind of sweeping my new princess off her feet...
...and then, ...she tells me she's twelve years old.
"I love
you Bart."
Damn, I hate when that happens...
Have you been to BartCop
Stocks lately?
There is TONS of good information there, and it's not stuffy
Greenspan gobbledegook, either.
It's exactly what I hoped it would be, financial news
with a 'BartCop' attitude.
http://inamongus.com/bartstocks/
You ought to check it out - and volunteer to contribute,
if you have an interest.
I stole a toon from them today, but I wanted to steal all four!
Check out his Cheney as the Wicked Witch of the West, with Smirk
as his Flying Monkey - ha ha
New
Tape Likely Saddam's Voice
Boy, nothing gets past those CIA guys, except 19 hijackers with
box cutters
Besides destroying the Clinton Economic Miracle,
name one thing Bush has done since he's been in office...
Go ahead, name one thing...
No Osama, no Saddam, no WMD, no jobs, no brains, no class, no respect, no allies...
Go ahead, name one thing...
Quotes
"President Bush made a comment a week
ago, and he said 'bring it on.'
Well, they brought it on, and now my
nephew is dead."
-- Mary Kewatt, the aunt of a soldier killed
in Iraq attribution
Note: We're pretty sure we have solved our hearing-the-radio problems.
The files that are currently up, and we believe all future sound
files will be instant-play files
and even those with a 56K modem should be able to hear immediately
with no trouble.
As of now, if you can't immediately hear the files, e-mail
us with your operating system, the name
of your ISP provider and your connection speed. We want everyone to
hear
Also, I've heard from several people that they like to download
the entire show and listen to it
in their car on their long drive home, so we will also post downloadable
MP3s.
Marty's
E! page
Sharon Osbourne is on Jimmy Kimmel where Jack Osbourne is this week's
guest host
The Emmy nominations
The Clinton Presidential Center Cookbook
'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' is a ratings hit for Bravo
Terrence Malick
The prototype G.I. Joe doll
Ralph Stanley is backing Bob Graham
Angelina Jolie finds U.N. work rewarding
The Fugs are back
'This Week' with Judas Stephanopolous is tanking
(God doesn't like traitors, either)
Don McLean has re-mastered 'American Pie'
Bono got an honorary degree from Trinity College
Toby Keith says he's rich enough to vote republican
Beware of reading the wrong thing in public
And, basic cable's top 15 shows
click
Quotes
"The Wall Street Journal reported that women
are sexually attracted to Bush.
'Hot? So hot!! That uniform!' said one
New York mom. Said another:
'I mean, that swagger. George Bush in
a pair of jeans is a treat to watch.'"
-- Roger D. Hodge, Harper's Weekly
Review, May 20, 2003
When women were saying that about Clinton, Rush called them "Arousal
Gappers,"
and said they weren't qualified to vote if they thought like
that.
Of course, he's changed his tune now that Bush stuffed a roll
of socks in his pants and
dressed up in a pretend pilot costume. Clinton didn't have to
dress up like a nine year-old
to gain the respect of the whole world - which is something Bush
can't do.
It now stands at 224.
That's 224 families that have been destroyed,
which is actually several thousand
considering the co-workers who will never
see their friend again, in-laws, neighbors etc.
Plus there are well over a thousand wounded, affecting thousands more families.
All because President Murderer never worked
a day in his life, he's never had to fight
a battle on his own, he's never had to
earn anything in life, he's never been in any situation
where he was held accountable for his massive
fuckups - everything was always given to him.
Bush expects victory because he's hever
had to pay the consequences for failure.
George Bush saw something he wanted - Iraq's
oil - so he fabricated reasons to get it
and as an added bonus he got to play cowboy
and kill ten thousand innocent people.
The stupid monkey is learning life's first
lessons, at the expense of the lives of 224
brave Americans.
His greed is only exceeded by his stupidity and his disregard
for other people.
The worst part?
What will that number be next Friday?
How many American families will get that phone
call in the next seven days?
Lance climbs the big mountain.
There's also tons of baseball.
Check out sports at BartCopSports!
And hey, drop me a line!
Get involved, send in your opinions.
Click to Enter
A resource for non-embedded writers and an
enlightened public
http://www.positiveuniverse.com
Excerpt
"It was an amazing run. They won the presidency
by losing an election. They bankrupted the treasury,
trashed the environment, turned the nation's
system of justice over to religious fanatics and, finally,
deceived the nation into an unprovoked
war. They probably would have gotten away with that too,
except they forgot to make any sensible
plans about how to run the place afterward.
("Dude, where's my 'coalition'?") In the
ensuing chaos and guerrilla warfare against the vulnerable
and undermanned US forces, well, somebody
was bound to start asking questions.
Why did we invade Iraq again? Was it because
they were "reconstituting" nuclear weapons?
Nope, they made that one up.
Was it because they were in possession of
weapons of mass destruction?
Apparently not.
Was it because they were in league with
the Al Qaeda terrorists who attacked us on 9/11?
Sorry, ix-nay on the evidence-nay.
Did we do it to further the cause of democracy
and human rights?
Stop, you're hurting my tummy.
Letter to the Editor
All I seem to read and hear from the Republicans
in the news and on the talk shows is that
according to them everything bad that's
happening in this country and abroad is Bill Clinton's fault -- still.
The man has been out of office for two
years and the Republicans are still running against him.
Well, since the majority of the electorate
had the unclear wisdom to put the Republicans in charge
of the whole of government, they have the
power to change that government. Let them repeal the
22nd amendment and allow Bill Clinton to
run on his record and allow the people to choose as
they were not able to in the last presidential
election.
It just doesn't make sense that senators
and congressmen can run forever and Supreme Court justices
are appointed for life, but presidents
can only serve two terms. After all, the amendment was a
reactionary response by the Republican
Party after Franklin Roosevelt's presidency.
And let's not forget, they were talking
about a third term for Ronald Reagan, which would have
been a terrible mistake, but they didn't
really know he had the beginnings of Alzheimer's disease.
Clinton is still a young man, full of energy
and would, if given the chance, run again.
Let him. And, let the votes fall where
they may.
Charles M,
Copyright (c) 2003, South Florida Sun-Sentinel
If you get a letter published in your paper, I'll re-print it here.
Bush
mushroom cloud "Bring 'em on" shirts!
bartcop.com exclusive!
Buy a shirt, support bartcop.com and show the world
that you know there's an illegal monkey in the White House.
We are not gentlemen
Excerpt:
"When I got started with my site my model was
Bartcop, an over-the-top partisan Democratic site run by
an Okie with a professed IQ of 64. Bartcop
has been routinely identifying Lott, Ashcroft, and their like
as KKK for years now, and for that and
other reasons has always been regarded as sort of a lowlife.
That's not going to change: being right
is no excuse.
A Nader voter looks back with regret
Excerpt:
"But after 9/11, I had my first repentant thoughts
about voting for Nader, not so much because of individual
Bush initiatives — like the horrific Patriot
Act — but because his administration was brazenly creating a climate
of fear just to get more Republicans elected.
It worked, and the Republicans gained control of Congress.
More guilt and repentance set in after Bush
invaded Iraq — as the world watched in shock. I could not make
myself believe that Democrats would have
started it, especially without United Nations support. This was Bush's
war.
What really pushed me toward total repentance was the realization that Bush was just getting started
...aint it the damn truth?
Everybody has a better reputation than the New York Whore Times,
...except Fox News.
You could snail mail $11 to
BartCop.com
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
A month in the members section makes a great gift!
.
They can't stop us if we're subscriber-supported.
Help build into a powerhouse.
Click Here to subscribe.
9-11 commission complains of “intimidation” and stonewalling
Excerpt:
"A statement issued by Thomas Kean and Lee
Hamilton, singled out the Pentagon for criticism for withholding
information relating to NORAD, the joint
US-Canadian air defense command, which failed to mobilize jet
fighters in time to intercept any of the
four airliners that were hijacked on the day of the attacks.
This is precious!
Lee Hamilton complaining about the Bush administration?
I guess we're supposed to 'take note' of how hard Bush's cabana
boy Hamilton is fighting for "the truth?"
If Bush wanted the truth, he would've picked somebody not
on his Daddy's payroll.
"Unka
Lee is following Mr Rove's script exactly..."
Call the
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to rant away.
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
|
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley - call The
BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
Maybe leave a two-minute message...
I'll play it for your fans at bartcop.com
Maybe say some nasty things about fascist monkey called Bush.
Shirley, as far as I know, our politics are identical.
Bush is
a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a
stupid criminal and a greedy, blood-loving bastard.
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard
Rock on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of quality
humor.
Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and
Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)