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Quotes
"As you know, earlier this week, two of the
favorite henchmen of Saddam were brought to justice.
They were discovered and their violent
eers ended in justice."
--Dubya,
Livonia, Michigan, Jul. 24, 2003
Yes, they got the only kind of "justice" the kill-happy monkey
knows.
They were murdered without a chance at having a trial.
Bob Hope 1903-2003
Excerpt:
The nation's most-honored comedian, Hope
was a star in every category open to him vaudeville,
radio, television and film, most notably
a string of "Road" movies with longtime friend Bing Crosby.
For decades,
he took his show on the road to military bases around the world, boosting
the morale
of servicemen from World War II to the
Gulf War.
He poked fun gently, without malice, and
made himself the butt of many jokes. His golf scores and
physical attributes, including his celebrated
ski-jump nose, were frequent subjects:
Through he said he was afraid of flying,
Hope traveled countless miles to entertain servicemen in
field hospitals, jungles and aircraft carriers
from France to Berlin to Vietnam to the Persian Gulf.
His Christmas tours became tradition.
He headlined in so many war zones that he
had a standard joke for the times he was interrupted by gunfire:
"I wonder which one of my pictures they
saw?"
Since I was a little kid, I always envisioned that Bob Hope would
have the biggest funeral in US history.
I thought of three generations of soldiers, lining the streets
as Bob's casket rolled by, paying tribute to the
man who usually spent Christmas in some hellhole to make the
burden a little lighter for our fighting men.
Anyone who backs our boys in unifore has to like
Bob Hope.
The Yahoo headline said, "Entertainer
Bob Hope Dead at 100."
Hell, if you don't know who Bob Hope is, you have no business
reading the damn news.
Johnny Carson used to say Bob Hope bought half of Southern California
when it was cheap.
With all that wealth, Hope still got on a plane every year with
a dozen hot babes and flew to hell to make
the load for our boys a little lighter. Maybe the best
thing I can say about Bob Hope is he loved his country.
Today's multi-millionaire entertainers just sit behind their microphones
and slur black, gay and poor Americans
and collect their millions every week while screaming for more
tax cuts for the super-rich.
They don't love their country - they love their fucking bank
account.
But today isn't a day to feel sad about Bob Hope. He had a hundred
years of a wonderful life.
He had 66 years with his wife, Delores. Who could ask for
more than that?
He died a very rich man.
Quotes
"Hex on thee, hex on thee, hex on thee..."
-- Bart, all during prime time tonight
as "Mr Perfect," Tiger Woods searches for his balls
Hey, he has that in common with our Senate Democrats...
Excerpt:
Senator Richard Shelby on Sunday called
on Bush to release most of the classified portions
of a congressional report on the Sept.
11 attacks, saying the sections were withheld only to
avoid harming relations with other
countries his father's owners in Saudi Arabia.
A Saudi official last week dismissed any
implications in the report of a Riyadh role in the
Sept. 11 attacks as motivated by political
aspirations of Democrats in the next election.
Sure, he said that after Bush guaranteed them he'd hide the findings from the American voters
Quotes
"When you personalize a war and are saying
that you're killing someone's kids,
then they, in turn, think they
can kill somebody. . . . I personally don't get any
satisfaction that it takes 200,000
troops, 250,000 troops, to knock off two bums."
-- Rep. Charlie Rangel, who you can tell is not
a senator because he's not afraid.
Excerpt:
"The remarks by Rice and her associates raise
two uncomfortable possibilities for the national security adviser.
Either she missed or overlooked numerous
warnings from intelligence agencies seeking to put caveats on claims
about Iraq's nuclear weapons program, or
she made public claims that she knew to be false.
"If the national security adviser didn't understand
the repeated State Department and CIA warnings about the
uranium allegation, that's a frightening
level of incompetence," said Henry Waxman (Go Henry!), who as the
ranking Democrat on the Government Reform
Committee has led the charge on the intelligence issue.
"It's even more serious if she knew and ignored
the intelligence warnings and has deliberately misled our nation...
In any case it's hard to see why the president
or the public will have confidence in her office."
Reminder:
In Texas, when the blood-thirsty moron was killing a black man every two
weeks,
he gave the same attention to detail as when he sent 246 Americans
to their death in Iraq. He didn't read
anything himself, he asked others to do it for him. He's the
laziest president in history, and this is after 9-11.
His idea of being president is helping the super rich, killing
people and going on month long vacations.
"What?
I'm a one-term loser, just like my dad?"
This
is a pretty exciting time for the Allies.
The
Soviets are attacking on the Russian Front,
the
Western Allies are overrunning Sicily and the
Americans
are hitting the Solomon Islands hard.
Excerpt:
There's so much there, the excerpt would bigger than this issue.
Desperate,
Wolfowitz links Iraq war to 9/11
Saw it on smirkingchimp.com
Excerpt:
Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz
has directly linked the war on Iraq to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks,
ignalling another shift in Washington's
defence of a conflict that continues to claim American lives.
Wolfowitz, in a series of interviews on
U.S. television networks yesterday, appeared to ignore intelligence reports,
which have discredited links between Iraq
and Al Qaeda and the war on terrorism.
He sought to defend President George W.
Bush's administration against charges that it had misled Americans on
the threat posed by deposed Iraqi dictator
Saddam Hussein, saying the government cannot wait for "murky"
intelligence to crystallize because it
may be too late.
"The battle to secure the peace in Iraq is now
the central battle on the war on terrorism," Wolfowitz said on
Tim Russert's Meet the Whore.
Magruder tell us thirty years ago, Nixon ordered the Watergate
break-in and we're all so surprised.
Thirty years from now, we'll be told there never was any Iraqi
threat, the the stupid Bush boy just
had a hardon to murder a coountry and he remembered one called
Iraq from his daddy's days.
We're being lied to - and young men are dying faster than I can
count them - and the Democrats don't
mind and the crooked American press is helping the liars because
there's money in it for them.
Subject: Fire Condi now!
The 9/11 Report:
"The report shows that top Bush administration
officials were WARNED IN THE SUMMER OF 2001
that the al Qaeda terrorist network
had plans to hijack aircraft and launch a 'spectacular attack.'"
Condoleezza Rice:
"I don't think anybody could have predicted...that
they would try to use an airplane as missile," Rice said.
"Had this president known of something more
specific or known that a plane was going to be used as
a missile, he would have acted on it."
Reef the Dog
Because of 9-11, President Bush became Bush the Infallible.
Because of 9-11, Bush got the power to murder anyone on Earth.
Because of 9-11, Bush's approval went from 55 to 85.
Because of 9-11, Bush got to invade two countries and cock walk
the Lincoln in an adult's costume.
Because of 9-11, Bush is stealing a million barrels of Iraqi
oil every day.
Because of 9-11, Bush got to hire Dad's old Iran-Contra thugs
and put then in charge of our lives.
Because of 9-11, Rove created an atmosphere where we HAVE to
bote for Bush - to stay alive.
Don't tell us Bush would have prevented all that if he could.
The best day Bush ever had in his life was 9-11.
His old friend Osama gave him the gift that keeps on giving,
and Bush says there's no reason to concern himself with Osama.
Magruder
Says Nixon Ordered Break-In
Nixon's comment from Hell: "OK,
OK, So I lied about not being a crook..."
Excerpt:
Jeb Magruder previously said Atty Gen John
Mitchell, (R-Crook) approved the plan to
break into the Democratic Party headquarters
at the Watergate office building and bug
the telephone of the party chairman, Larry
O'Brien.
Magruder, in a PBS documentary airing Wednesday
says he was meeting with Mitchell
on March 30, 1972, when he heard Nixon
tell Mitchell over the phone to go ahead with the plan.
Just more proof that the GOP can't win an election without cheating or breaking the law.
Bush
Nominee (another oil man)
for Navy Secretary Commits Suicide
If it was any other president, this would be big news.
If it was Clinton's nominee, they ask where he was at the
time
Excerpt:
Bush's nominee to be secretary of the Navy,
oil executive Colin McMillan, died on Thursday
of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head,
the New Mexico medical examiners offices said.
Wait, did the regular coroner make that
ruling? Or did they import a crooked M.E. like Jeb did
when Florida Rep. Joe Scarborough (R-Scumbag)
had a girl die right in his office?
Quotes
"There's an element of the far left of the
Democratic Party that sees as its project scrubbing
the public square of religion, and
in some cases not only religion but of religious people."
--Sean Rushton, executive director of the Committee for Justice
No, that's the US Constitution, not the far left
Democrats
If you can't function without religious symbols in the workplace,
see a priest.
US
could have 'taken sons alive'
Can't be from a US paper, they only print good-for-Bush news
Excerpt:
The US could have captured Saddam's sons
alive, a Syrian official said.
The official also hinted that killing the
pair in a US military raid in Iraq might
have been to cover up past US political
dealings with the defunct regime.
"It was very possible of the United States
to capture Oday and Qusay instead of killing them.
But maybe - and this is very possible -
that there are files that the Americans don't want to be uncovered.".
Shaaban referred to the 1980-88 Iraq-Iran
war, saying the Iraqi regime "was pampered by the United States
and maybe was encouraged in what it did".
Could this charge be true?
Rumsfeld with his good friend (and customer) Saddam.
Marty's
E! page
Baron Dave Romm on 'The Foremen' - catching up with Roy Zimmerman
Fresh BAGnews
The Wall Street Poet
Traci Lords on Craig Kilborn tonight
Mick Jagger is 60
The Vegas rainbow
Sex Pistols tour
Disney Hall is not aesthetically pleasing
Maxx Payne sues
The Matanuska glacier
Mickey Rooney, honorary mayor of (Girls &) Boys Town
And, elephants with rear-end reflectors
click
Try
A Little Decent Leadership
by Col. David H. Hackworth (Ret)
Excerpt:
Suddenly, the big breaking headline shocker
is that our line soldiers in Iraq have a major morale problem.
Except that anyone who's plugged in knows
that military morale is lower than today's interest rates
and not just in the Iraqi desert, but
pretty much right across the black-boot board.
"Why? Aren't they all volunteers?" you ask. "Why don't they just shut up and do what they signed up for?!!"
The answer's a no-brainer. We've tasked
half the force we had in 1991 with twice the number of missions.
More than 500,000 GI Joes and Janes are
deployed in 120 countries. And a chunk of rubber or a military
force can only be stretched so far before
it snaps. That's what the troops are trying to tell us that they're
getting to the breaking point."
"You girls
need to stop whining! Shut up and do your jobs!
I'm saving America from the threat of Ootie and Cootie!"
Click to visit fauxnewschannel.com
Have a question or a comment?
Email Bart bartcop@bartcop.com
When Bush had his soldiers drag the bodies of Ootie and Cootie
thru the streets of Baghdad,
were the Baghdadians in the street dancing and rejoicing?
If so, I missed that. I'm sure the
"Bush is the greatest president ever"
American press would be wall-to-wall with those
pictures IF
that scenario played out in the streets of Baghdad, so what does that tell
us?
I know some non-thinking knucklehead goof will accuse me of being
pro-Ootie and Cootie when
I say this, but imagine what it would feel like if some superpower
invaded America without provocation
and for no goddamn reason other than to steal the oil in Texas
and then corner and then murder the
president's children and put their bodies on Invader-controlled
TV to brag about it.
Somehow, I don't think we'd be dancing if some bully superpower
did that to us under the guise
of "freeing" us so they could set up our new government in their
image and have appointed evil
oil men tell us what kind of government we're allowed to choose
for ourselves.
Realize this is our
government that's doing this, and the entire world
is both angry
and scared as they wonder which country Bush will turn his blood-thirty
attention towards next
Our
government is out of control and killing
whomever they want, and they don't need
a reason or any justification because our military is the most
powerful military in the world.
Our
government is controlled my a little boy who sees
non-white people as frogs
that he gets to blow up with firecrackers that are much bigger
than the ones he used as a child..
Worse than that, our
government is run by a religiously insane
man who claims
God spoke to him and gave him a list of the people and countries
God wants murdered.
Where are the Democrats?
Why are they allowing this to
happen?
John Kerry, what are you waiting for?
Joe Lieberman, what are you waiting for?
Tom Daschle, what are you waiting for?
John Edwards, what are you waiting for?
In 15 months, you're going to ask for our votes.
You're going to have to earn those votes and you need to start
NOW!
Why are you waiting? Why are you refusing to do your jobs?
Next summer, you're going to have a stump speech accusing Bush
of everything,
but what the hell are you waiting for? I want this war criminal
accused today!
How
can you ask us for our votes
when
you're afraid to come to work?
Please visit our sponsors
Uday
and Qusay: The Men Who Knew Too Much
an editorial from the gang at buzzflash.com
Excerpt:
And how dare anyone question why the remains
of Saddam's sons should suddenly show up the week that
the report on 9/11 is issued or during
a period when Bush was on the ropes for lying. And how dare anyone ask
why the Bush Cartel wouldn't want to try
and actually capture Uday and Qusay to obtain information about WMDs,
Iraqi war plans, Iraqi bad guys still at
large, the location of their father, information on the "alleged" relationship
with
Al-Qaeda, and so on. Wouldn't they potentially
provide the mother lode of information to corroborate all the Bush
cartel claims about why Bush led our young
men and women to die in Iraq? Come on now, wouldn't the Saddam
sons be able to prove all the Bush accusers
and doubters WRONG?
Of course, Uday and Qusay weren't taken
alive because -- like the Iraqi captured scientists that the Bush Cartel
will not make available to the media --
Uday and Qusay knew too much.....
Subject: snail mail subscription
Bart,
Here is for 5 months
It better be hellraisin' good
TWH
Dude, I'll need your e-mail address to sign you up.
Send that to me so we can start the hellraisin'
Also, the clumsy, clunky, half-ass shows are about to go the way
of the horse and buggy.
Tommy Mack is coming onboard the BartCop radio train. Not only
will he raise the level
of production a mile, he will often be on-air and that's going
to be exciting. Unlike me, he
actually knows what he's doing. He's flying in from Los Angeles
to soundproof the studio
and set up templates that will give the show a more professional
sound. Maybe with his help,
I'll remember to play the commercial for my only advertiser,
MickRasley-silver.com.
Click Here to listen to a sample of Mack's work.
What makes a political conservative?
Excerpt:
Four researchers who culled through 50
years of research literature about the psychology of conservatism
report that at the core of political conservatism
is the resistance to change and a tolerance for inequality,
and that some of the common psychological
factors linked to political conservatism include:
Fear and
aggression
Dogmatism
and intolerance of ambiguity
Uncertainty
avoidance
Need
for cognitive closure
Terror
management
Quotes
"I tell you what makes me mad. Is when I see
the names of those youngsters that are being killed
out there every day. I say, "God help
us." I've been there. I've seen this movie before. It was 35
years ago. I was one of those young
21-year-old, 22, 23-year-old guys. Young Lieutenant, hard charger,
volunteer. First Air Cavalry Division.
Airborne, all this kind of stuff. Hoo-wah, hoo-wah, hoo-wah.
And we got great young soldiers. And
I've been at Bethesda and Walter Reade, and I've seen their
legs blown off. And I've seen their
eyes gone. And that's what bothers me."
--Max Cleland, Attribution
Out
of Their Cages
by the She-Thing o' The Whore Times
Excerpt:
Years ago, Darrell Issa, the right-wing
millionaire congressman from San Diego who bankrolled the recall drive,
was arrested twice on car theft charges.
He ended up making his $100 million fortune developing the Viper
alarm system, in which his own voice warns
thieves to "please step away from the car." Now he is trying to
hot-wire the political system and speed
away with the governorship.
"The recall provision was created to get rid of
governors guilty of malfeasance not so malfeasers could
put themselves into office," sniffs Chris
Lehane, a Gray Davis recall adviser.
Complete Tour de Lance coverage!
There's also tons of baseball.
Check out BartCopSports!
Click to Enter
Quotes
"In a few days they will show us another fat
body with a beard and say its Saddam.
--Zohair Maty, a 30-year-old
Iraqi laborer, skeptical that Ootie.Cootie pictures were authentic
You're not alone, Zohair.
We don't believe Bush either.
Plus, we're sorry about what Bush did to your country, but please
don't blame regular Americans.
We voted for Gore, but our Supreme Court is crooked and they
installed this monster against the wishes of the voters.
Excerpt:
From the impeachment of Bill Clinton on
a virtual party-line vote, to the routine use of the filibuster
by both parties to block nominations in
the Senate, to the recall election now confronting Gray Davis,
the boundaries of civilized behavior in
the political world are crumbling. If there was ever a Geneva
Convention in politics a set of rules
that governed even the fiercest combat it has lapsed.
The only rule is that there are no longer
any rules. In American politics, we now live in an age of total war.
Yeah, but only one side is fighting.
Republicans go thru Democrats like our military went thru Basra.
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Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
It now stands at 244
246
Note: Believe this figure.
It's from http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
The news came in that two more boys were killed as I was
writing this.
That's depressing, and it will continue to get worse.
Will we have 500 dead by Thanksgiving? ...by Christmas?
Meanwhile, the never-elected Smirky McWarhardon is working hard...
...on his putting...
Call the 
918-493-1500
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Have a good time today - that's an order.
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Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley - call The
BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
Maybe leave a two-minute message...
I'll play it for your fans at bartcop.com
Maybe say some nasty things about fascist monkey called Bush.
Shirley, as far as I know, our politics are identical.
Bush is
a horrid madman and a savage killer.
He's a
stupid criminal and a greedy, blood-loving bastard.
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!
Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard
Rock on your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of quality
humor.
Same for "ditto-monkey," "scum-sucking Republican bastards" and
Gov Bush (R-Racist monkey)
