Volume
1129 - God's Orders
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Wednesday Aug
6, 2003
Quotes
"A candidate [like Howard Dean] who was opposed
to the war against Saddam,
who has called for the repeal of all
of the Bush tax cuts, which would result in an
increase in taxes on the middle class,
I believe will not offer the kind of leadership
America needs to meet the challenges
that we face today.
-- Joe Lieberman, also known as Bush Light
Arianna
Huffington to run for CA Gov
Thanks to Mindpilot
Click Here
Excerpt:
5. Under what scenario would a candidate
like Arianna actually win?
Under three conditions:
(1) The Democrats offer up only Davis, and
refuse to list any credible, marquee Democrat as one of his potential replacements;
(2) The GOP fields three or four major
candidates at the same time;
(3) Liberals and progressives field only
one, big-name populist like Arianna as a potential replacement for Davis.
Under that scenario, if Davis is recalled,
Arianna would likely garner a 20 percent plurality over the divided GOP
candidates.
She would be sworn in as governor soon
after.
Quotes
"After pulling together the information in
the 9/11 Report,
it is understandable why Bush is stonewalling.
It is not very difficult to deduce what
the president knew, and when he knew it.
And the portrait that results is devastating."
John Dean, Attribution
Mars
Approaches Earth
Closest
in almost 60,000 years
Click
Here
Excerpt:
Mars is coming as near to Earth this month
as it has in almost 60,000 years. Its closest pass will come on Aug. 27
at 5:51 a.m. EDT, when Mars will be less
than 34.65 million miles away. The last time it came nearer was around
Sept. 12 in 57,617 B.C. when Mars came
about 25,000 miles closer, at a distance of 34.62 million miles from Earth
Quotes
“A lot of people are angry at America. Look
how many people they killed.
Today I saw some people breaking this
monument, but there were men and women
who stood there and said in Arabic:
‘Screw America, screw Bush.’ So all this is not a simple situation.”
--Iraqi businessman Jarrir Abdel-Kerim
Attribution
From: reverendtremble@aol.com
Subject: You really are
quite a pathetic loser
Oh, BartCop, BartCop --- what a complete,
dumb, little leftist sap you are.
Haven't you figured out yet that your income
is totally dependent on advertisements
placed in your moronic magazine by the
very Capitalists you profess to despise.
You live, work, and play directly off the
abundance generated by Capitalism,
yet you expect us to loathe the very same
system which makes us all free and prosperous.
You really are quite a pathetic loser.
Reverend Tremble
Rev, it's always great to hear from a fan.
Why do you think I'm against capitalism?
Guessing what you might've meant, I'm against a rich person who
makes extra money by lying for a network, a party or a cause.
Subscriber
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I wonder how we could police an A.A.R.P. discount, too?
The Social Security and "fixed income" people might like 
Have
a question, a sound file or a comment?
Email Bart bartcop@bartcop.com
The "great" and "powerful" King Smirk
Quotes
"The last time a Rhodes scholar from Arkansas
announced against an incumbent
named Bush who had just won a war in
Iraq, he did okay. And he declared in October."
--Josh
Margulies, co-founder of the Draft Wesley Clark movement, responding to
conventional
wisdom
that says Clark is too late to the party to raise funds and build support
Attribution
Iraqis
get rules for US payouts
Click
Here
Excerpt:
American forces yesterday laid out the
stringent limits under which Iraqi civilians will be able
to claim compensation from the United States
for death or damage caused by the occupying forces.
The spokesman was unable to say if any payments
had been made for loss of life, but said such claims
would be paid at a local rate.
"I hate to say it, but the value of a life
in Iraq is probably less than a life in the US or UK," he said.
Petitions
you might want to sign
This one's against the crimes of Jeb Bush
http://www.petitiononline.com/JebLies/petition.html
This one's against the crimes of King Smirk,
America's most prolific serial killer.
http://www.votetoimpeach.org/
Subject: Bart, What about
Car Dealers?
Hey Bart. I know you are a busy man,
but how about a little tutorial on your site
about how not to get shafted by car dealers?
Didn't you used to work in a car lot?
I almost bought a new car recently but
for some reason, it didn't feel right.
How can I tell when a car dealer is trying
to rip me off? (His lips are moving?)
You must have INSIDE INFORMATION on the
way these guys wheel and deal.
Provide yet another important service from
the Bartcop website...
Share the wealth!
Great King Rat
GKR, that's a great question.
I know very little about cars, but I know
a lot about the used car business.
A car lot buys a car for $2500 and spends
$500 fixing it up.
Then they put a $5995 sticker on it, giving
them room to come down..
Something very important to keep in mind
is that the Blue Book is almost worthless.
The Blue Book says a 95 Chevy full size
pickup might be worth $4000, but a car lot
in Oklahoma can't even find one for $6000.
They sell for closer to $8000.
A lot that finances its own cars means the
owner is constantly playing poker.
You try to get your $3000 from the customer
as a down payment, but so few people
have $3000 to put down - so you gamble.
We had a $1000 minimum.
So if a customer misses his first payment,
you hire someone to steal back your car.
That means the customer paid $1000 to drive
that car for a month.
If a customer puts down $3500, you're already
a winner.
From the customer's point of view, bring
someone along who knows cars.
It might help to take the car to a mechanic,
but a car like the one I described
is usually a $18K car with 80K miles on
it, so any mechanic can find a hundred
problems with it. Listening to a
car is important, too.
Also, they have a service called Carfax - insist on one of those
reports.
It'll tell you how many owners the car has had, if it's been
wrecked, it's insurance history etc.
Click to visit
"Yeah, they fired me at WLS.
But I'll take the lemons and make lemonade."
Marty's
E! page
Arnold pulls his gop-sponsored stunt tonight on Leno - I'm not watching
Turner Classic Movies features Robert Mitchum all day & night
Peter, Paul & Mary at the Lincoln Memorial
Shazia Mirza, female Moslem stand-up comic
Boston's first 'mob flash'
Rutger Hauer will visit 'Smallville'
Dick Ebersole (the ex-Mr. Susan St. James) paid Carly Simon $50,000
to find out who was so vain.
Etta James to be honored in Temecula
Fans don't toss Keith Richards panties
The Kennedy Center honors were announced - but, where's Paul McCartney?
He was supposed to be 'honored' last year but begged out for a wedding.
Paul Simon took his place...
Hiroshima - 58 years ago
Heidi Fleiss testifies in tears
Lynyrd Skynyrd cancels tour
'Gigli' is so bad theater's averaged fewer than 10 viewers per screening
And, the Giant Panda at the San Diego Zoo is pregnant with twins
click
Quotes
"If I may comment, Reverend Falwell, the fact
is, is that this church is making its own decision.
They take the Bible seriously also.
They don't need you to interpret it for them. This so- called
sin of homosexuality didn't make the
top ten. Frankly, you don't represent represent mainstream
Christians, you represent extreme Christian
fundamentalism. We should never forget there was a
time that this country burned witches
at the stake. Fundamentalism is bad in any form."
--Elizabeth Birch of the Human Rights Campaign, giving Falwell the red-ass
on Crossfire,
Update
The Mack did a lot of good things last weekend.
He wallpapered Mrs Bart's dining room with black accoustical
tile.
He hooked up a bad-ass processor of some sort. I suppose
it processes something.
He got the mini-disc working and he made my AM radio listenable.
It took him a while to fix it, but he's one of those guys who
will think about something
for a long, long time and eventually the answer pops into his
head. He even reads the
directions on new electronics. Not me - I plug it
in and then curse at it for not working.
So we'll have more Pigboy severe beatings in the coming shows.
Also, I forget how much I've said on which page, but Tommy Mack
has agreed to
turn knobs and brings some much-needed professionalism to 
That last show, Number 9? It only took less
than three hours to speak it into a mic, but then it
took me ten days to do the post production on the
three parts... The Mack is ten times faster than
Ol' Bart with the post production software. When he's working
his magic, his hands move faster
than Ann Coulter's when she's watching her TIVO of Bush in a
flight suit on the USS Lincoln.
Also, we expect the Mack-era to produce such quality, we're naming
the next show Number One.
The "just kidding" shows will then become Practice One, Practice
Two, etc
He's also going to "less Okie up"
the show - that has to be good.
At
Least 827 American Wounded
Click
Here
Excerpt:
The number of American wounded is 827 since
Operation Iraqi Freedom began.
Unofficial figures are in the thousands.
About half have been injured since the president's
triumphant appearance on board the aircraft
carrier USS Lincoln at the beginning of May.
Many of the wounded have lost limbs.
The figures are politically sensitive. The
number of American combat deaths since the start
of the war is 166 - 19 more than the death
toll in the first Gulf war.
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Mister
Perfect hits fan, causes 3 stitches
GRAND BLANC, Michigan (AP) --John Yates
has two gifts from Tiger Woods:
a golf glove autographed by the golfing
giant and three stitches courtesy of an errant shot.
Woods' approach at No. 7 during the final
round of the Buick Open on Sunday sailed
to the right and bounced off Yates' head,
cutting him, before landing in the greenside bunker.
The spectator was on his back, his head
bleeding, when Woods came over to apologize.
"I'm so sorry," Woods said, leaning down
to shake Yates' hand. "Hang in there."
Woods asked if help was on the way. Tournament
marshals assured him it was.
Woods, who wound up making birdie, returned
to give Yates the glove and a ball.
Reached later by telephone at his home in
Grand Blanc, Yates said he didn't need
medical assistance beyond the stitches.
In fact, he was in a joking mood.
"I helped him out because my head knocked
it back toward the hole," said Yates, 52.
"He birdied the hole, I guess. I didn't
see it. It's my most memorable moment in golf."
Lies
Of False Prophets
Click
Here
Excerpt:
So ask not for whom Dictator Chimp smirks
for - he smirks at you while ripping you off,
crushing your human rights to liberty while
stealing your hard-earned cash tax to build bombs
that kill children in lands your children
cannot find on a world map and you will enjoy while
he rapes your mind with lies of false prophets
on television tube.
Fud's cat
Read about it in BartCopSports!
Click to Enter
Quotes
"I believe this, that a fornicator, an adulterer,
a heterosexual who is not loyal to his wife,
is disqualified from being a pastor
or a priest or a bishop. And, for the same reason,
I believe that anyone else, a homosexual
or anyone who violates scripture, cannot be a leader.
--Jerry Falwell,
(R-Serial liar) on Crossfire
So Jerry, if you really believe that, why did you vote for Bush?
The
only television commercial Al Gore needs...
"Hi. I'm Al Gore and I'm running for re-election."
"Did you know that four years ago, I received
the most votes in Florida?"
<video of Republican riot that stopped the
recount>
"Did you know that four years ago, I received
the most votes in America?"
<video of George Bush clowning or otherwise
making a fool of himself>
"So why is George Bush your president today?"
<video of George Bush relaxing in Crawford>
"Because moneyed interests in Washington decided
you needed a change is leadership."
<video of George Bush's wide-eyed stare as
Scott Card whispers the news of the 9/11 attacks into his ear>
"Because some people thought there was no difference
between Republicans and Democrats."
<video of homeless people>
"I ask you - is this leadership?"
<video of Bush pumping his fist and saying
"Feel's good.">
"Is this?"
<video of Bush climbing out of the jet on the
USS Lincoln, cut to him
standing in front of the Mission Accomplished
banner>
"Is this?"
<cut to video of Enron, Adelphia, Tyco, Worldcom,
rolling blackouts,
fast photo montage representative of the
disastrous Bush administration>
"I'm Al Gore, and I'm running for re-election."
<cut to Gore>
"Let's return Democracy to America."
written and directed by Jeff Crook
Dude, get the boys at takebackthemedia.com
to produce it.
Cubans
spell trouble for Bush
by Prince of Darkness Bob Novak
Click
Here
Excerpt:
What inflamed pro-Bush Cuban Americans
in south Florida is that the US negotiated with Castro
to impose 10-year prison sentences. This
sudden agreement between Washington and Havana could cost Bush a second
term.
President Bush's Cuban-American friends
consider this a de facto trial, resulting in incarceration by a police
state.
If Cuban voters stay home next time, Florida
will almost surely be won by Bush's Democratic opponent.
If we opened the gates to Cuba, Castro wouldn't last 1 year.
Britney Spears, MTV, McDonald's, red Camaro convertibles, MP3s,
the internet,
not to mention employment, electricity, The Playboy Channel --
Castro wouldn't stand a chance.
Transcript
of Radio Show 9-3
We thought we'd take a stab at this, see if it had any value
Click
Here
Excerpt:
5 human beings, ‘5 women as sex
slaves in his underground bunker was sentenced in Syracuse
to18 years to life in prison. John Jamalsky, 68,
68, pleaded guilty last month to kidnapping 5
women and girls and holding them for up to 3 years each from
1988-2003.’
That’s 15 years worth of sex slaves. So, he got 18 years to life.
Now why do I bring this up?
No, not for the thrill of talking about sex slaves, but do you
know, if he had had an ounce of
marijuana, he could’ve gotten life?
Raping 5 women for 15 years, is nowhere near as bad as possessing
an ounce of pot.
So, they caught this guy with 2 ounces, rounded
up some more pot, but they caught him
with 2 ounces of pot in his wheelchair and he got life in prison
for 2 ounces of pot. [sigh]
How is this possible?
This.. is.. stupid!
Subject: the veep...
Dear Bartcop:
Straight up bro, you fucking rule. The
Vice-President of the United States of America was in my town on Monday.
The son of a bitch didn't even stop by
to say hello. Go figure. Anyway, I penned a little tribute to the evil
bastard
and I thought I would share it with you.
Peace
Don Nash
and of course
de facto dick
one insufferable little prick
greasy
slimy
smug oil man
takes what he can
whenever he can
what do you think happened
to wyoming
a once beautiful place
but now
it's a disgrace
raped
by the likes
of halliburton and
of course
de facto dick
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Quotes
"Gray Davis has asked the state supreme court
to delay the October recall vote
because he says that’s not enough time
to put on a fair election. Let me tell you
something, if we don’t need a fair
election to pick a president of the United States,
we don’t need one to pick a governor
of California....
-- Leno
Neocon
Coup at the Department d'État
by the She-Thing at the New York Whore Times
Click
Here
Excerpt:
The scene was reminiscent of last August
in Crawford, when Mr. Bush dismissed press "churning"
that the administration was on the verge
of striking Iraq, saying, "When I say I'm a patient man,
I mean I'm a patient man and that we will
look at all options and we will consider all technologies
available to us, and diplomacy and intelligence."
We all know how that turned out.
Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
It now stands at 250
252
How many
more are we willing to tolerate?
Note: Believe this figure.
It's from http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
Call the
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to rant away.
What
do crop circle investigators "researchers"
and
neocon Iraq-hawks have in common?
Click
Here
"Dick Cheney diligently tracks down that Uranium from Africa."
Have a good time today - that's an order.
Shopping
online?
Use this portal and they'll
throw bartcop.com four cents.
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Conason ......
McDougal .
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to Order
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WR Pitt ...
Hightower
Palecek
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Read the Previous
Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2003, bartcop.com
Shirley - call The
BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
Call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at the Vegas Hard
Rock on your next American tour.
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