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Volume 1143 - Monkey at the controls


For a liberal helping of world news and views,
visit www.positiveuniverse.com,  and   get our beautiful bumper sticker!


 Weekend   Aug 23-24, 2003 












Quotes

"Nothing could be better for the cause of religious freedom than that
  the court send some military or law enforcement personnel into the
  judicial building in Montgomery with a jackhammer."
    -- Jerry Falwell, the biggest jackass in all of organized religion,    Attribution
 

 Dear Lying Piece of Shit,
 Nobody has ever suggested the Ten Commandments be destroyed.
 Only a psycho bitch sellout would bend the truth that far.
 What in the hell is wrong with your Nazi ass?

 Mr Shit, you are as foul as Rush the vulgar Pigboy and Michael Savage.
 You know that ridiculous charge is absolutely 100 percent false.
 Only a payroll whore such as you, Rush or Weiner would ever tell a lie that big.

 Obviously, the truth will not sufficiently enrage the pinheads who follow you,
 so you fabricate a never-existed position, and then claim that we stand for that.

 All the fans of the Constitution want is for the display to be presented under the
 auspices that's not the federal government.

 Nobody wants to vandalize that Ten Commandments display.
 You made that up because you're a lying bastard milking the stupid.
 You may now blow me.


 Judge slams Fox's lawsuit against Franken

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A federal judge slammed Fox News' lawsuit against Al Franken and Penguin Books
 and refused to stop the sale of his new book that pokes fun at Fox and host Bill O'Reilly.

 There are hard cases and there are easy cases. This is an easy case," said Judge Denny Chin, who added
 that the motion for an injunction was "wholly without merit."   He said it is highly unlikely that consumers
 would be misled to think that Fox is sponsoring the book. He also said the trademark is weak.
 
 

 Who was the idiot that OK'd this can't-go-anywhere suit?
 This was a guaranteed loser from the start - everybody knew that.
 This was even weaker than Spike Lee going after Spike TV.
 All FOX did was make Franken and extra hundred thousand or two.

 They had to know that going in.  Does O'Reilly have that much clout that he
 can have the FOX lawyers file suits that are wholly without any merit?
 


"FOX is the only network that Mr Rove lets me watch..."



 Quotes

"I was very interested you know-there were 28 pages missing from the Sept 11 attack report
 from the US Congress-This might help them-I have got some pages here-these I do know are
 the material that went into those missing pages. On the top the document is marked secret and
 on the left side it is marked-199 I which means national security and WF which means Washington
 Field Office of the FBI-now how did I get this document?

 This was not a helicopter drop actually oddly enough-some FBI agents came to the BBC offices
 and they came to us and asked some questions about God knows what and as they were leaving
 they had dropped a file on the desk and then they called-little while later and said 'Oh my God,
 we accidentally left the file on your desk - you haven't read it have you?'  And they said,
 "We will be back for it in 30 minutes, unless you need 45..."
   --  Greg Palast, giving a speech in New York    Attribution


 Grandstanding Judge Suspended
  Has he disqualified himself from ever judging again?
   Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Chief Justice Roy Moore was suspended by a judicial ethics panel Friday
 for his refusal to obey a federal court order to remove his Ten Commandments
 monument from the Alabama Judicial Building rotunda.

 Moore was automatically suspended with pay when the nine-member Judicial Inquiry
 Commission referred the ethics complaint against Moore to the Court of the Judiciary,
 which holds trial-like proceedings and can discipline and remove judges.
 

 To me, this is proof the man is unable to render fair decisions in a courtroom.
 He put his whims above a higher court - and was rightfully charged with contempt.
 If this judge has no respect for the law, how can ever he sit on a bench again?


 Hex on thee!   Hex on thee!   Hex on thee!

 Hey Monkey!
 Let's see how well you do with the BartCop Hex on your lying ass...



 Quotes

"Terrorists often use religion as a disguise..."
    -- President Terrorist, a "Christian" who bombed a city of 5 million people



 Thursday night...

 I was watching Hardball, trying to catch Smokin' Joe.
 The Screamer wouldn't let him speak, neither would the Nazi.

 It was a microcosm of the problem.
 A truth-teller (Conason) against a media whore (Screamer) and a Nazi (The Whale)
 Joe never got in five words in a row. Screamer and Whaleboy never let him make a point.
 The whole reason for the discussion was "Do conservatives even have a vioce in the media?"
 yet the voice of truth wasn't given a chance to speak.

 Kinda proves the point.

 Then came Dennis Miller on Hannity and Bought-Boy.
 They let poor, old no-longer-funny Dennis Miller on at 57 minutes into the hour.

 ...like Andy Rooney.

 They have the cranky old guy, bitch about how awful life is for rich white men in America,
 while spewing hatred and irrelevant references from twenty five years past.

 That's the finest resting place I can dream of for the once-funny Dennis Miller.
 Set out to pasture by an old people's network, Miller is now less hip than Lawrence Welk in his sunset years.

 Get this - he jumped on Arianna Huffington for changing her stripes!
 Hey Dennis, she's not the only one, and unlike you, she walked away from the money.

 He kept whining that Arianna paid hardly any taxes the last two years.  Arianna's excuse?
 She didn't make any money while she was busy writing and researching "Pigs at the Trough."
 But once-funny, GOP-stroking Miller wants her to pay taxes when she wasn't making any money?
 I don't think Miller's made it all the way thru the Nazi handbook they gave him.

 And when it was over, Hannity and his lobotomy puppet high-fived at how incredibly funny Dennis was.
 Then Colmes looked the camera dead in the eye and explains how FOX News is all about the truth.



 I heard on CNN that there was a shootout in Knobless, Iraq.

 Not sure why, but that town reminds me of Larry Klayman.


 More stickers have arrived

 Get yours, then send in a picture of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155

 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 We'll give away a prize each month for Best Sticker Placement.
 Maybe a Brooke Burke calendar or Joe Conason's new book.

......

 Send in your sticker pics - win valuable prizes.

 Sidebar:  Joe's book must contain some mighty dynamite.
                 It has certainly scared the pants off the blowtorches that spew on radio and cable TV


 Quotes

"The Bush administration -- one of the things that blows my mind is, if he's
  so popular and so beloved, why does he need $200 million to get reelected?"
            --Janeane Garofalo on Crossfire


 Subject: MSGOP's Scumborough dodges Conason

 Bart-

 Just got through watching the Joe Conason interview on MSGOP's Joe Scarborough Show.
 Joe Conason vs. Joe "Dead Intern in the Office" Scarborough, sounds like fun huh?

 Guess what - Scarborough was a no show!

 Yep, he "took the day off" and let some lame guest host get eviscerated by Conason.

 Coulter - Scarborough - O'Reilly
 Who else will be added to the list of chickenwingnuts?

 reef the dog
 

 Like the B.F.E.E., the cowards refuse to play unless the game is fixed ahead of time.
 That's why FOX hired Alan Colmes, so he could be Hannity's bitch every night.
 If the guy can fight back, the Nazi right won't let him get in the debate.


 Sidebar: Trying to avoid a major screwup, if you're name is not on the poker list,
                that means a chair has not been reserved for you. There's still time to get
                one of the last three chairs, but four people can't get them, you know?



"Breakin' the Law!  Breakin' the Law!"


 Palestinian Militants Scrap Israel Truce

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Palestinian militants called off a tattered two-month-old truce on Thursday after an Israeli helicopter
 killed a senior Hamas political leader with a volley of missiles. Tens of thousands of Hamas supporters
 marched in protest through the streets of Gaza, vowing revenge
 

 This is so incredibly insane, it would be funny without the deaths.  A religiously insane Palestinian blows up
 a bus full of kids, killing 20 and injuring 100.  Israel waits a day and a half, then kills a Hamas leader,
 which makes the Palestinians issue a declaration that, "the truce is over."

 Duh!

 The truce was over when you blew up the bus, you nutwads. And if the Palestinians are
 so eager to die and become martyrs, why are they upset when Israel obliges them?
 Who do they protest in the streets as if life was important to them?  If life was important to them,
 would they throw a party because Ahmed was going to blow himself up the next day?


 Subject: fund raising

  Bart:

 You say:

> The problem isn't the new law - it's the new Democrats.
> They don't want to win.

 This is an annoying thing you say, but it is usually not all wrong.

 ha ha
 I know you're being honest when you say that.
 

 In this case, however, it is mainly wrong.
 The problem is the prohibitions on soft money raising and spending by the parties.

 <much snippage>

 Phil
 

 I am not wrong.
 If they had the will to fight, they wouldn't need as much money as the GOP.
 They have the truth, they're just afraid to speak it.

 Witness what Franken and Conason have done lately.
 Franken goaded that idiot/coward O'Reilly into suing him.
 Franken and his book were front page news and it didn't cost him a dime.
 Conason gets to walk around saying, "Coulter, O'Reilly and Scarborough are afraid of me
 because they're lying and I tell the truth,"  and it's true. That doesn't cost him a dime.
 We could win with ideas and guts, but we just don't have the guts.

 For example, what if every Democrat, from now until the 2004 election, came to work in blue jeans,
 work boots and a shirt from Wal Mart to show they represent the party of working people.

 Every time a camera showed the House or Senate gallery, you'd know right away which ones were for
 the common working man and which ones were on-the-take bastards, shilling for big oil and rich CEOs.
 And every time they get on camera in their blue jeans, no matter what question is asked, they answer with,
"George Bush has to answer for his WMD lies that have killed 300 Americans."

 That's FREE! It's damn effective and it's easier than playing Scrabble with the Bush twins,
 but it takes guts and we don't have any of that in the Democratic party right now.

 Sure, the Democrats need some money, but Clinton was out-gunned both times he won.
 America won't vote for a party that's afraid to defend themselves.



 Why we dropped the bomb on Japan
   Two reports - Ricky Z and  kuna  each have an opinion

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
  i fully believe that we dropped the bomb for the reasons we believe we dropped the bomb.  the Battle of Japan
 would have been the most disgusting needless slaughter of Americans and Japanese that we can even conceive,
 and that Harry Truman honestly felt that if he did not use the bomb, history and the nation would never forgive
 him for bringing a swift end to the Pacific war, when he might have had the means.

  Excerpt:
 I concur wholeheartedly with everything Phil wrote.
 From the handful of history books I've read, his conclusions are pretty much given. There is much that needs
 to be re-taught in regards to this particular period of history imo. We all assume the immediate conclusons made
 in the wake of the victory were the accurate ones and they have been taught a such since.


 Courts that hate God
   by Dave Franklin, a lying, insane monkey

  Click  Here

  Excerpt: (All this from just his first paragraph)
 Federal Judge Myron Thompson ruled on August 11 against the Ten Commandments.

 That's a clumsy lie designed to fool stupid people.
 He ruled against Judge Moore abusing his authority by forcing his religion on others.
 Please don't lie again.
 

 Judicial zealots believe that the federal courts have Constitutional authority to decide on
 which moral platform the people of Alabama will establish their justice.

 That's another lie.
 You can decide on any platform you want - just don't contruct a 10,000 pound monument
 and place it on property that belongs to the federal government.
 Please don't lie again. Christ didn't lie - aren't you a Christian?
 

 Post-modern "rule of law" imposes abomination and prohibits acknowledgement
 of the supreme authority of our Creator.

 That's a lie.
 The rule of law says you can't appropriate property that isn't yours.
 I believe that's also the 8th Commandment.
 Please don't lie again, you're breaking the 9th Commandment when you lie.
 

 Alabama has been ordered to remove its monument to the Ten Commandments,
 the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution of the United States from
 the state's Supreme Court.

 I know the first part is true, but I don't trust liars, so I'm betting the second and third
 parts of that statement are lies.  Why do you lie so much, Mr Franklin?
 Obviously, the Ten Commandments mean nothing to you.
 Why are you fighting for a cause you don't believe in?


Return!

Welcome back, Dave.


 Subject: Joe Conason

 Hi, Bart,

 Here's a copy of the letter I sent to O'Reilly. I thought you might enjoy it.

 Dear Mr. O'Reilly:

 Word is that you are refusing to have Joe Conason, author of "Big Lies: the Conservative Propaganda
 Machine and How It Distorts the Truth" on your show. I can only assume this is because you are afraid
 to debate the premise of his book. Now I know why you call it the "no-spin" zone; when only one point
 of view is presented, by definition your whole show is spin, in one direction only. So apparently "spin"
 as you define it is any point of view with which you disagree.

 BTW, I saw your little dust-up with Al Franken on C-Span, and I hear you are behind the lawsuit Fox
 instituted against Mr. Franken because of his use of the common English phrase "fair and balanced" in
 the title of his book.  Since the news of this lawsuit has propelled Mr. Franken's book onto the best-seller
 lists, you and Fox may wish to consider asking him for an agent's fee, ( ha ha ) since you could probably
 make the case that the lawsuit has brought an enormous amount of publicity to Mr. Franken's work.

 In fact, you'd have a better case for that than you do for the lawsuit itself, since titles of works are not unique.
 Take my word for it; I'm a librarian specializing in cataloging, and I wish I had a nickel for every book I've
 cataloged that shared the same title with another work. I could retire.

 Very truly yours,

 Ann from Philly (who needs her Bartcop Radio BAD)
 

 Ann, that was great.

 I want BCR back, too.
 Once I get my computer back and everything's working, I'm going to have Marc Perkel
 be my tech person. He says he's keeping about 50 computers going, all Windows,
 and they rarely give him any problems. That's exactly what I need.


 Subject: Why are you afraid of Joe Conason?

 To:  oreilly@foxnews.com

 Answer: Because you are a mealy mouthed cockroach - and you know
 you will be exposed as such by a real man like Joe Conason.

 David
 

 Y'know, if enough of us wrote to this goofy-ass coward,
 maybe we could shame him into getting his ass kicked on live TV.

 ha ha

 Every six months, we have to stretch our muscles, because someday, we'll all
 write in to some cause and make a difference and that will be empowering.

  oreilly@foxnews.com



 Sam is here to help you get in the Members section.
 If you haven't been notified by the automated system of your login and password,
 send Sam another e-mail and she'll get you in.  She works hard, that Sam.

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 Is  bartcop.com membership  worth $5 a month when you're on a tight budget?


 If you want to praise the Unelected Fraud, but can't think of anything to say,

 Click  Here  and the Bush Team will write a letter of praise about the "war hero" who drank,
 snorted and whored his way thru the Vietnam war when he deserted during wartime.

  Excerpt:
 President Bush's leadership in winning the war on terrorism has been remarkable.
 After September 11, President Bush acted decisively
 President Bush acted decisively to rout Al Qaeda
 This President is providing the strong leadership America needs.
 
 

 Karl Rove writes your opinion for you and all you gotta do is sign it?
 Bush the biggest fraud in recent political history.

 ...and the Democrats refuse to fight back.


Marty's E! page
Tons of great stuff!

click


 Are these guys fair and balanced? You decide 

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Conservatives will need some Prozac if they pick up Franken's book, which is a 379-page attack
 on Republicans (especially President Bush and his policies), Fox and its personalities such as O'Reilly
 and Sean Hannity, and recent books by conservatives that allege a leftist media bias.

 Of the liberal side, Franken writes, "Our attack dogs are a scrawny, underfed pack of mutts that
 spend half the time chasing their own tails and sniffing each other's butts. The right, by contrast,
 appears to have a well-oiled puppy mill for pit bulls, bred to kill and trained to go for the jugular."
 
 

 That is so damn true, it calls for a shot of Chinaco.  Democrats are little French Poodles
 with pink bows in their hair and we're fighting the party of evil junkyard pitbulls by turning
 the other cheek and begging, "Thank you, Mr Rove - may I have another?"

 How did I get in a party full of weaklings with no fight in them?


 From the official Bush Cheney web site:

 Compassion 

 Compassion is holding a negro during campaign at a fund raiser?
 How did negro kids get inside a Republican fund raiser?
 What were they given to stand there and smile - food?


 Michael Moore
 Bowling for Columbine


  Click to Order

 Al Franken
 Lies and the Lying Liars at FOX


  Click to Order


 Subject: Tell the truth about Guantanamo

 Dear Mr. Cop:

 Please tell the truth about the prisoners in Guantanamo.
 64 of them have already been released and returned to their homes
 after giving information useful against terrorists.
 They all are not staying there like you imply.

 Neither of us has any idea who's there, who left or who's been beheaded.
 It's not an accident that they're in Cuba.
 They are there so Bush doesn't have to obey federal law.
 This allows him to torture and murder anyone he wants.
 

 You had an article about Michael Savage saying he told some gay guy to get AIDS and die.

 True, I heard that call, myself.
 

 Didn't you know it was an anti-Republican prankster who does this all the time to conservative talk show hosts?

 I'd say that's possible, but we don't know the caller's sexual orientation.

 I doubt he is gay at all.  He talked about orally sodomizing Savage and he was so revolted by
 the jerk caller that he told him off in the same kind of words he was getting from the vulgarian.

 Apparently Weiner was fooled, but you say you weren't?
 

 I don't expect any New Yorker to take that crap from anybody, do you?

 I don't know, New York is partly civilized and full of liberals.
 You certainly wouldn't want to say that to a Texan or an Okie.
 

 Come on Mr. Cop, tell the truth.  For a change!
 Dom White
 

 Dom, it's all the truth.



 Thought...

 Smirk created a self-fullfilling prophesy.

 Because of his bloody, illegal murder of thousands of innocents in Baghdad,
 Al Qaeda and "remenants" of Saddam's forces are now working together.

 ...working together to murder hundreds of brave American soldiers.

 They couldn't have done it without you, George.


 Soldier from Wolverine injured in Iraq

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Shane Millay, a 1998 graduate of Wolverine High School, was on patrol when two rocket propelled
 grenades ripped into their M113 armored vehicle. The first knocked Millay to the floor of the vehicle.
 The second one came through the side of the vehicle and hit Millay, injuring his left arm.
 The arm was later amputated at the shoulder at a hospital in Kuwait.
 

 Let's remember that when we hear "just wounded," we're talking about losing arms, legs and eyes.
 Walter Reed Hospital hasn't been this busy since 1975, and it's all for a bullshit, unnecessary war.


 Race Jokes with Rush Limbaugh

"What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
  Worst case of suicide he had ever seen."

  For more, listen to Rush weekdays from noon - 3pm EDT



Quotes

"What we have here, really, is fascism -- the merger of the corporate state with the political state.
  And all of these guys -- Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld -- all come from the executive suite, the boardrooms,
  where there is no such thing as democracy...We need to begin to say that the emperor has no clothes.
  In fact, he's buck naked and butt-ugly....
    Jim Hightower, on why he wrote his book


  Click to Order


 Where's Ann?
   by Joe Conason  as seen on Salon.com

 As the Daily News reports today, Ann Coulter ducked a debate with me on CNBC's
"Kudlow & Cramer" last night.  Disappearing at the last minute, she blew off the producers,
 who had been so eager to book her with me that they changed the schedule at her request.

 Maybe she didn't feel like talking about her idol Joe McCarthy's patriotic crusade on behalf of
 Nazi officers who had massacred American soldiers. Or maybe she wasn't up for discussing
 my book, which includes a few unflattering facts about her work. In any case, I believe we'll
 meet again someday -- and I won't run.
 

 Joe's having trouble finding a conservative who will debate him?
 Good luck, Joe - I've been trying for years.

 Coulter won't debate him and O'Reilly won't debate him because, simply, they'll lose.
 It's the same thing as right here and the same thing on Crossfire.
 You're not going to see Conason lose a debate because he's got the facts on his side.
 You won't see James Carville lose a debate, either, because he's got the facts on his side.

 The only time the left loses on Crossfire is when Paul Begala teams up with Novakula
 or Bow-Tie Boy to beat up the poor new guy who's never been on TV before.



 Does Matthew read  bartcop.com?

 Quotes

"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are:
  for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets,
  that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door,
 pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
   -- Matthew 6: 5,6

Thanks to Tally


Football's around the corner, the pennant races are heating up,
Mr. Perfect tries to fight off the BartCop Hex,
It's beginning to feel like fall...
Check it out at...

Click to Enter



 Quotes

"O'Reilly won't have me on his show - he's a coward."
    -- Smoking Joe Conason.   Attribution

 So why won't O'Reilly have Conason on?

 I think everyone should write to punk O'Reilly and ask why he's such a coward...

  oreilly@foxnews.com


  Keep Conason away!


 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  273 290

 The Pentagon released new figures, reflecting the wounded who have since died.

 Total deaths since the Bloodthirsty Bully said, "Bring 'em On":  69+

  Perhaps 1,100 wounded.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 It's from http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx

 Note: I talked to the Dude over there and he's trying to get straight answers
 from the Pentagon - no, seriously - and he will post the new figures when they come in.


In trouble?
 Call the

918-493-1500
You have two minutes to speak your peace.


 Subject: Rebuttal

 Bart,

 Why do you get it wrong so often?  O'Reilly doesn't spend time with Joe Conason
 because Conason is a hack writer the public doesn't care about.

 Ken, it's nice to meet you, too.  True, Joe isn't as well known as some writers,
 but that's mostly because he didn't spend 1992-2002 on Clinton's cock.
 I assume you'd drink Ann Coulter's dirty bathwater?
 

 O'Reilly simply takes on bigger authors when he talks about books.

 ha ha
 You mean authors whose books have hit Number One, like Al Franken?
 ha ha

 Currently, Conason's book is #4 on Amazon.com, but O'Reilly is afraid to have him on.
 

 In spite of Conason being a pipsqueek writer, I wrote O'Reilly and asked that he take on Conason and rip him to shreds.

 ...and what was his reply?
 

 It would be fun to watch Tailgunner Joe Conason wither on the Fox vine.

 Not that I would ever compare myself to Joe Conason, but I would enjoy seeing Joe beaten in a debate,
 just like I'm sure my readers would like to see someone hand my ass to me, just to see what that was like.
 Alas, ...that's a thrill I don't think I'll ever get to experience.
 

 Just like he did to the doofus from Minnesota, Al Franken, on C-Span.
 O'Reilly humiliated and scorched the dumb dwarf talentless Franken to the point Franken could hardly speak.
 Where do you get the idea Franken won that debate?  O'Reilly crushed Franken easily.
 Al Franken is an incompetent lightweight.  Figuratively Al Franken is about 2'7" and weighs about 280 lbs.

 If you remember (or did you block it out?) their fight was over O'Reilly's lie that he won two Peabody Awards.
 Franken checked, and found out the truth was that whatever show he was on won two POLK Awards, (whatever that is)
 and it was after O'Reilly left the show.  Franken proved your hero was a big, fat liar.   Suck on that.

 As a person who drinks Coulter's dirty bathwater, you're hardly a objective observer.
 Best way to settle this is to determine which of them would consent to go another round.
 

 You said "Michael Savage was fired from MSNBC for telling a gay caller to 'get AIDS and die.'" That is not true.
 It was a prank caller who tried to get Savage's goat and succeeded.  Savage thought he was off the air and
 retaliated by ripping the phony jerk a new butthole.  He succeeded in insulting the prank caller back.

 You mean you're so attuned to other people's sexualitty, you can tell who's gay and who's not
 by listening to a few minutes of talk on your AM radio?  Damn, you're one talented bastard.
 

 So what happened to Savage?  He picked up better radio stations in San Francisco and New York.
 Bart, who really won this battle of the airwaves?

 I believe the TV watching public was the victor.
 

 Does anybody even care what is on MSNBC?

 Sometimes I watch Natalie Morales - she's the prettiest newsgal on TV

 WOR ratings will be booming as the huge New York market backs the Savage Nation and questions
 the ideas and tactics of the defeatable Hillary Clinton, the carpetbagger from Arkansas via Chicago.

 Ken Wright
 

 Do you predict the future as well as you remember the past?  Sure, Hillary is "defeatable," but she
 doesn't have to explain to voters why she lied and got 300 brave men killed in some hellhole in Iraq.



 Have a good time today - that's an order.


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