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 Quotes

"If there was ever a case that demanded a special counsel, this is it."
   -- Chuck Schumer, talking about "Revenge-gate."

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 An administration official told The Washington Post on Saturday that two White House officials
 leaked the information to selected journalists to discredit Wilson. The leak could constitute a federal crime,
 and intelligence officials said it might have endangered confidential sources who had aided the operative
 throughout her career.  CIA Director Tenet has asked Justice to investigate how the leak occurred.

 Condi Rice said on "Fox News Sunday" that she knew "nothing of any such White House effort to
 reveal any of this, and it certainly would not be the way that the president would expect his White House to operate."
 

 Trust me - The Monkey has all the deniablity in the universe.
 He doesn't know nothing about nothing, and I could testify to that.

 Maybe Bush will show some of that blind loyalty and refuse to cut Rove loose.
 Remember - it's never the crime, it's the coverup that brings down a president.

 Quotes

“Statistically speaking, U.S. soldiers have less of a chance of dying from all causes in Iraq
  than citizens have of being murdered in California which is roughly the same geographical size.”
     --Brit Hume, telling the families of the dead to knock it off and bow to the Unelected Bastard
 
 
 

 "America understands that sacrifices must be made   ...now watch this drive!"

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 In making the case for war against Iraq, Cheney has continued to suggest that an Iraqi intelligence
 agent met with a Sept. 11, 2001, hijacker five months before the attacks, even as the story was falling
 apart under scrutiny by the FBI, CIA and the foreign government that first made the allegation.

 The alleged meeting in Prague between Atta and Iraqi Samir al-Ani was the single thread the administration
 has pointed to that might tie Iraq to the attacks. But as the Czech government distanced itself from its initial
 assertion and American investigators determined Atta was probably in the United States at the time of the
 meeting, other administration officials dropped the incident from their public statements about Iraq.

 Not Cheney, who was the administration's most vociferous advocate for going to war with Iraq.
 

 So, Pinhead, Rummy and Condi retract the Iraqi link, but Cheney says it's still solid.
 Just think what the paid-for, American whore press would to to a Democratic administration
 that couldn't decide why they ginned up a phoney war that killed over 300 brave Americans.

 The Top 25 Censored Media Stories of 2002-2003

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 #1: The Neoconservative Plan for Global Dominance
 #2: Homeland Security Threatens Civil Liberty
 #3: US Illegally Removes Pages from Iraq U.N. Report
 #4
 #5
 #6
 

 If Clinton had been guilty of one of the 25, they would have impeached him again.
 But dewmocrats don't believe in fighting - not even for self-preservation, so expect
 Bush and his gang to keep on keepin on until the GOP tells them, "You've had a good run..."

  Click  Here

  Excerpt::
 Violence raged in Iraq with mounting casualties amid growing signs that Washington Bush was
 ill-prepared to manage the occupation of the country in the wake of its military victory over Saddam.

 As another US soldier was killed in Fallujah, an Iraqi official working on the technicalities of drafting
 the country's new constitution escaped an assassination attempt that killed his bodyguard.

 The United States and Britain meanwhile continued to protest that their invasion of Iraq was fully justified,
 with more US troops called for duty there, despite mounting public opposition to their continued presence
 amid the security turmoil in the war-ravaged country.
 

 Great idea!
 Let's send hundreds of thousands of troops into this Bush-created hellhole.
 Better yet, let's reinstate the draft and lose hundreds of thousands more lives over there.

 As long as the Unelected Pinhead gets to steal that oil...

 Quotes

"Did you watch the California recall debate?  It was crazy.  Arnold Schwarzenegger and
  Arianna Huffington got into a heated debate over immigration.   It went back and forth
  and back and forth – and finally immigration came in and took them both away."
     --Dave

 Hey Bart did you catch Rush finally letting out his racist vomit on NFL Countdown?
 The topic was on Donovan Mcnabb and the two game slump he's been in and when
 Rush was giving his opinion he said something to the effect that "He's really not that good.
 He's only being hyped because the NFL is so desperate for a good black quarterback".

 This is unacceptable commentary to be coming from a sports show and
 I think it's time we start a campaign to let ESPN know we won't be watching
 as long as they are employing this racist asshole!

 Mike
 

 Mike, they knew Rush was a racist asshole when they hired him.
 Seems like Rush would've been a better hockey commentator,
 as there are so few (if any) blacks skating on professional ice.

 But the NFL is full of "those  people - those Jesse Jackson types..."

 Quotes

"During the California recall debate, Arianna Huffington accused Arnold of not treating women well.
  Huffington may have a point because Arnold's response was 'Shut up, bitch.'"
    --Conan O'Brien

 Bill Bennett on CBS's 'Las Vegas'

 Did you see what they did to Bill Bennett (R-BetterThanYou) on last night's "Las Vegas?"
 Only Osama and R Kelly could know how Bill Bennett feels today.

"Las Vegas" did a story about a morality-crusading, sniveling, blowhard punk to whom the casino had
 to provide a dozen scanty-clads for him to grope and fondle on his way to his private luxury suite to gamble.

 They portrayed Bill Bennett as a hard-drinking, scheming, conniving, back-stabbing whore who made passes
 at women while watching his TV image rail against "immoral liberals."  When a tabloid reporter got a whiff
 that Bill Bennett might be in the house, he snuck in a camera to get some proof so Bennett told casino security
 to make him disappear, as in "murder him."

 They really did a job on Bennett, and this is an outrage....or it would be if he didn't deserve it.

 That smug bastard, screaming from channel to channel all thru 1998, talking about Bill Clinton being
 the "out-of-control, lust-maniac," when Bennett can't copntrol his smoking, drinking and gambling.

 Hussein link was a sales job
   by Helen Thomas,  who uses "sales" for "hand"

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the US, according to Bush.
 But don't blame Americans for thinking otherwise.

 When reporters asked him last week, Bush said: ``We've had no evidence that Saddam was involved with 9-11.''

 Poof!

 In an instant, the president knocked the stuffing from one of his stated reasons for leading us to war against Iraq.
 Earlier casualties in the administration's sell-the-war campaign were Hussein's WMDs (still missing despite five
 months of searching by U.S. troops) and Iraq's nuclear arsenal (cancelled out earlier this month by Cheney.)

  Let's win one for The Chicks
 Deny Renewal of Clear Channel's License
  Goebbels would be proud of Clear Channel Communications

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Clear Channel and its subsidiaries have violated the law on 36 separate occasions over
 the last three years, demonstrating its poor character," said Donahue. "Clear Channel is
 not qualified to hold a broadcast license under the FCC's own character rules," he added.

"The FCC has held that licensees which exhibit a pattern of illegal conduct shall be denied
 broadcasting on the public's airwaves because such licensees cannot be considered truthful
 or reliable in complying with the Communications Act of 1934 or FCC regulations," said Donahue.
 

 Did Clear Channel go after the Dixie Chicks for the money?
 Did they do it to make nice with Smirk, which would mean more money?
 Did they do it just to be sons of bitches?

 Remember all those "Let's have a BIG-ass war," rallies Clear Channel hosted?
 They would use their almost-monopoly propaganda machines to rally the duped public,
 then lie about the crowd size and then label the smart people, "liberal Saddam appeasers."

 They tied themselves to Bush like a tar-baby, and look where Bush is now.

 It felt good to read that headline last week,
"Chicks leave Country music for Rock & roll."

 They said they did it because, except for a lone mention from Merle Haggert,
 none of those flag-waving, racist yahoos stood by their "friends," the Dixie Chicks.

 Dixie Chicks?

 Don't they need a new name?

 Subject: al Qaeda vs. Musharraf

"Aljazeera has aired an audiotape of Usama bin Ladin's spokesman
 calling on Pakistanis to overthrow President Pervez Musharraf."

 Attribution
 

 Right, start Muslim activism in Pakistan.
 See if the Muslim fundamentalists can overthrow Musharraf (who is a not
 very nice dictator), and replace it with Muslim fundamentalism.

 And have control of Pakistan's nuclear weapons and missles to deliver them.

 Thanks *so* very much, Georgie boy,
 for working to make the world a safer place.

 mark

 Voting machines taking heat

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 ...there is a growing contingent who say the electronic system is ripe for corruption or malfunction.

 That fear was seeded in the 2002 primary, when thousands of Broward and Miami-Dade voters
 experienced errors with their voting machines, or had their votes ignored by a computer.

 Broward County Commissioner John Rodstrom said that when his wife went to the polls in 2002,
 she pressed the screen to vote for one candidate, and the machine showed she was voting for another.
 That was a common problem in Broward.

 In Dade, computer tallies did not count votes from several precincts.
 A backup check of the computerized system revealed the mistakes.

"We're learning there are some glitches with the system. Add that to the fact that someone could
 hack into it, and that's a problem," Rodstrom said. "Politicians are hearing these horror stories and
 saying, 'Gee, we need to rethink this.' "
 

 Sometimes the rest of the country gets a story a year or two after we got it.
 We knew about Diebold over a year ago, right?
 We knew about that Revenge-gate way back in mid-July.
 We knew Newt had a hooker over a year before the press stopped covering for him.

 If only America had a press that would tell the truth.

 Sticker placement contest

 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
 (Please don't vandalize anything with these stickers)

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466
 Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.

 Next week, we'll send either a Brooke Burke calendar or Joe Conason's new book
 to the person who sent in the picture with the best real sticker placement.

......

 Click  Here   for the newest round of stickers

 Somebody is going to win.

 Subject: Bob Barr

 Bart,

 You wrote "... Bob Barr (R-African American) ..."

 What do you mean by that?  I'm positive you aren't using African American as a slur, that's not your style,
 and Bob Barr is not Black (although he possibly has some African ancestry by his looks), so I'm kinda lost
 as to your intention - could you clarify the joke that I don't seem to be getting?

 Cris
 

 Cris, over the years, it has been suggested by non-comedians that Barr is, indeed, black.
 I believe some of his ancestors were African American, so he tries to pass.

 To:  Tim Russert

 Subject: Dr. Rice

 Good Lord, Tim, how embarrassing and embarrassed are you?
 How can you let Condi just sit there, the way you let Cheney sit there, and lie that boldly?

 Condi says, "That's not the way the President runs his White House"???

 This White House?

 This White House has used such strong arm tactics that Jeffords left the GOP because of the bullying?
 This White House that tried to strong arm Europe and when that failed hinted--well, flat out said
 --that France and Germany would be punished?

 Outing a CIA operative as punishment is completely in line with the behavior of this White House.
 Or haven't you been following the news?   I know you're only the Washington Bureau chief for a
 major network, so obviously, you don't know dick.    But come on!!!

 Condi has been on your show saying the administration knows everything about Iraq for a year, and
 since May, has been on your show repeatedly saying the administration didn't know anything about Iraq.

 She's been saying no one knew about using airplanes as weapons, even though she had been briefed on
 terrorists using airplanes as weapons;  she said no one ever said Hussein would have nuclear weapons
 within a year, even though she and Cheney, and Bush, and Powell, and Rumsfeld all said Hussein might
 have nuclear weapons within a year.

 Christ, she makes a different compelling and credible speech every freaking Sunday morning.
 Say it with me, Tim:  She's lied, and lied, and lied.

 For the love of all things American, will you do your job and finally say,
"Condi, you're just lying.  Your lying to my face, aren't you?"

 She is, you know.
 Call her on it, call any of them on it, before they cost this country
 any more in integrity, reputation, or billions and billions of dollars.

 After all, Tim, you were much harder on Clinton.
 And his penis didn't kill one single U.S. serviceman.

 Richard Z

 By the way, has anyone in Houston heard anything more about that
 sexual harassment suit the Ford F-150 vacuum hose filed against Tom Delay?

"F-150's are hot!"

 I forget who said it, but someone recently suggested that Bush
 should not be faulted for posing like a whore before this lying banner...

"I won this war with my own two hands..."

 ...because the White House did not put the banner up.

 They said the banner was put up by the sailors, and Team Bush had nothing to do with it.

 I guess it was a "lucky coincidence" that the camera the Monkey was staring into
 was accidentally alligned with Bush's smirking face and that lying, coincidental banner?

 It's never Pinhead's fault - someone else always get blamed for George's blunders.

 Subject: "Siamese brothers"

 Bart,

 I have been an avid reader and supporter of Bartcop for the past 7 years,
 dating all the way back to Issue 50 or so.  But using the term "Siamese" was
 quite uncalled for, and really pisses me off.  So I am writing to tell you to "fuck-off",
 you and your politically incorrect piece of shit web site.

 How could you be so goddamn insensitive to use the term Siamese in the year 2003?
 Where have you been?  The term is "conjoined", not Siamese.
 We're not talking about some fucking cats, for Christ's sake.
 Wake the hell up man!

 So you just lost another reader, but I'm sure you don't care as long as you can get
 a laugh bashing another group that you secretly probably hate anyway.

 Have a nice day and nice life Mr. Bartcop.

 Geoff

 P.S.  I'm kidding.
 

 I admit, you had me going.  I've been getting a lot of that lately, mostly from the
 a "I was gonna donate, but now I ain't," types.   Plus, that  may've been the best joke in
 that bit, because Carville, Begala, Ivins, McAuliffe etc has no idea what a 'Bartcop' is.

 Quotes

"My plan calls for pulling back the tax cuts for those Americans that are making $200,000
  a year and above, and using that money in a way that will advance our national interest.
  It's creating jobs. It's focused like a laser beam on job creation."
     -- Wesley Clark, who just might have the most talented speechwriter in the world   Attribution

 Subject: McClellan slip up hurts President re: Plame affair    Attribution

 White House spokesman, Scott McClellan accidentally revealed something damaging to the President today:

"He wasn't involved in the Valerie Plame leak," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said of Karl Rove.
"The president knows he wasn't involved.… It's simply not true."

 Really?
 ThePresident KNOWS that Karl Rove wasn't involved?

 How?
 Either he knows who DID do it, and it wasn't Rove, or he asked Rove, and Rove denied it directly.
 In which case, why is Bush ONLY asking Karl Rove?

 Or ...IS he only asking Karl Rove? And if he's asked other people, who are they, and what did they tell him?
 Of course, if he already knows who did it, then there's no reason to ask anyone...now is there?

 Bush is busted."

 Hesiod

 Joe Conason's Journal

  Click Here

  Excerpt:
 Which Washington journalists -- in addition to Robert Novak -- did Bush administration
 officials select to receive the revenge leak about Ambassador Joseph Wilson's wife?
 And why hasn't a single one of them stepped forward to report the crime?

 Will they steal 2004, too?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Thinking back to the phone calls tipping the White House that Air Force One  was a target on 9/11,  using
 certain code phrases (like the code name of the  day, which is top secret and changes randomly) to prove
 they knew what they were talking about, it's possible that W was supposed to buy the farm that day as well.

 Eventually, the WH recanted that story, claiming (after William Safire challenged them to reveal what
 traitorous group in the government had targeted Bush) that they were mistaken.  Mostly, people take this
 to mean that the first story was a lie, to cover up W's apparent cowardice.  However, if it had been a lie,
 they would have stuck to it. I think the recantation was the lie, and that they had received such a warning.

 His most embarrassing picture so far
  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Governor Musclehead

  Click  Here

 Sharon in Virginia who called the Bart Phone,

 I need your e-mail address to make you a member.

 Quotes

"I knew what the Republican Party was like and I couldn't identify with that party.
  They are the party that, when I was commanding in Kosovo, they were the party led
  by Tom Delay against our airman who were in the skies over Yugoslavia taking fire
  from Serb anti-aircraft and this party voted against them. They claimed they weren't.
  They claimed they were voting against just a policy, but I read what they said.
  They wanted the policy to fail. They didn't have a vision. They didn't understand
  what America was about. They put their interest of the party above the interest of the party.
  -- Wesley Clark, on why he joined the good guys

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 While defending telemarketers during a segment on Crossfire last week, Carlson was asked
 to give his own home phone number. Carlson gave out a number for Washington's Fox News bureau.

 The bureau was deluged with calls. To get back at him,
 Fox posted Carlson's unlisted home number on its Web site.
 Carlson called Fox News "a mean, sick group of people."
 

 Welcome to the real world, Tucker.

 Subject: Michael Moore's book timing

 I'm not all that excited about the new Michael Moore book, paretically the timing of it,
 wouldn't it be better to come out next summer during the election? Or at least another
 month from now when Franken's book has lost some momentum. Franken's book is
 killing on the best sellers chart, don't take that momentum away from him.

 Johnny E
 

 Johnny, it's my guess Franken hit the motherload. He'll be OK.
 I say the more books the better.

 Novak backpedalling to cover for Bush
  Saw it on  talkingpointsmemo.com

  Another big problem with Novak's comments on Crossfire today. Today he said ...

> Nobody in the Bush administration called me to leak this. In July I was interviewing
> a senior administration official on Ambassador Wilson's report when he told me the
> trip was inspired by his wife, a CIA employee working on weapons of mass destruction.

  But then there's this passage in a July 22nd article in Newsday ...

>"Novak, in an interview, said his sources had come to him with the information.
>"I didn't dig it out, it was given to me," he said. "They thought it was significant,
>  they gave me the name and I used it."

  I'd say the story's changed.

  -- Josh Marshall

 Subscriber help

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 Quotes

"This is now hand-to-hand combat. We are not in the trenches. This is war."
   -- Musclehead, trying to figure out what political metophors mean.

 Subject: Clark and Dean

 Bart--

 The whole 'Clark voted for Nixon, he voted for Reagan' thing is being *pushed heavily* by Dean
 (after, remember, Dean's people tried to recruit Clark to be his #2 man).  This is one of several things
 that makes me very, very suspicious of Howard Dean.

 Pat
 

 That's another thing the GOP does better than we do.
 Reagan's 11th Commandment was "Never speak ill of another Republican."

 In the Democratic party, it's "Cover your ass and fuck your buddy."
 I remember seeing a big smile on Dean's face, saying he'd love to have Clark on his ticket.

 Why don't the Democrats have the brains to know that the GOP, (unlike our side) is writing down
 every ugly accusation the Dems are making towards each other to use against us next summer?

 Subject: Eldrick Woods Returns this week

 Being the best golfer in the world at 27 years old I would bet Eldrick is home with his beautiful blonde girlfriend.
 Or maybe running a clinic for underprivaleged children. How many 27 year olds run clinics for FREE for kids?
 Why dont you ever mention that? Look for Eldrick this Sunday as he is returning to the tour this week.
 I'm sure you will find him in the hunt on Sunday.

 Larry
 

 Larry, I must confess - I'm unfamiliar with Eldrick's charitable work.
 I look forward to his return to the winner's circle - it's no fun teasing a loser.

 Reminder:
 If you paid for ads on bartcop.com, and didn't get your full run,
 send me an e-mail at the usual address and we'll take care of you.

 No wonder America has so many enemies
  It's what they're saying in Toronto

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"President Bill Clinton was impeached by a Republican-controlled Congress for lying about sex.
 President George W. Bush and aides lied the United States into a stupid, unnecessary colonial war
 that has so far killed more than 305 Americans and seriously wounded more than 1,400. It has also
 cost many thousands of Iraqi dead, and $1 billion US weekly. Lying about sex is an impeachable
 offence; lying the nation into war apparently is not.

 I was no Clinton fan, but give me his iffy morals any day over Bush's Mussolini-like strutting.
 Sen. Kennedy is absolutely correct when he calls Bush's Iraq war a "fraud" concocted to win the next elections."

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 It now stands at  310 311

 Soon, we'll be at 400.
 How long before we hit 600?
 How long before we hit 1000?

 Total deaths since President Frog-blaster said, "Bring 'em On":  106 107
 

Over 1,400 wounded - with many missing arms, legs and eyes.
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 From http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The sick thing is, this is exactly what ESPN had in mind when they hired veteran
 provocateur Rush Limbaugh for its Sunday NFL pregame show. You can imagine
 the meeting. The ESPN bigwigs must have needed drool cups to handle the runoff
 when they discussed the controversy Limbaugh would generate.
 

"I'm a racist pig - and ESPN loves me!"

 Have a good time today - that's just a suggestion...

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 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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