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Quotes
"We have to look at people who they are today,
not what they may have done wrong in the past.
There isn't a person in this room or
anywhere else in the world who is perfect, who has lived perfectly."
--Orrin Hatch, explaining why voters should forgive Arnold for a lifetime
of sexual assaults Attribution
Excerpt::
In Baghdad's bloodiest attack for weeks,
police said two suicide bombers crashed a car through
a police station's gates, killing two policemen
and six civilians and wounding dozens in the blast
A U.S. soldier died when a rocket propelled
grenade hit his convoy -- the 92nd soldier to die
since U.S. President George Bush declared
major combat over on May 1.
"Got
terrorists? Bring 'em on!"
.
Excerpt:
Of the $4 billion a month already being
spent in Iraq, as much as a third is going to the private contractors
(the BFEE)
who have flooded into the country, said
Deborah D. Avant, a political scientist at GW University and an expert
in the
new breed of private military companies.
The flow of money will increase greatly if Congress approves Bush's request.
"All I can say is it's mind-boggling," James Lyons,
a former military subcontractor in Bosnia,
said of the opportunities for private contractors.
"People (He means Bush's friends) must be drooling."
9-11 was the greatest thing to ever happen to the B.F.E.E.
The manufactured war against Iraq is the second greatest thing.
Will they put "scumbag war profiteer" on their tax returns?
Detective tells Kobe's accuser's story
Excerpt:
At that point, the detective said, the
woman was afraid and wanted to leave the room.
The detective testified that she told him,
"'Kobe Bryant grabbed me with both hands
around my neck. I was afraid he was going
to choke me.'"
Tests also show blood on one of Kobe's shirts belongs to the girl.
Suddenly, he looks a lot more guilty.
Quotes
"I would never take lightly a serious allegation
backed up by evidence that there was a willful -- and I
emphasize willful, inadvertent is something
else -- willful disclosure, and I haven't seen any evidence...
Somebody sends me a blue dress and
some DNA, I'll have an investigation."
--Rep. Porter Goss, R-Scumbag,
Goss
says CIA leak not worthy of committee action
Hey asshole, sex
isn't a crime, no matter
how much you guys try to make it into one.
Exposing a secret agent and risking dozens
of innocent lives IS a crime.
Why don't you do your f-ing job and leave
Clinton's cock out of this?
Bush's
Betrayal
Judas drove a hard bargain compared to Bush. At least he
got 30 pieces of silver
Excerpt:
Turkey has one enduring aim: the suppression
of Kurdish freedom anywhere in the region. That will be
Ankara's immutable goal in Iraq.
The administration tells us, coyly, that
the Turkish contingent will be stationed in the Sunni Arab area of
central Iraq, far from the Kurds. But the
Turks intend to play a waiting game, confident that American
patience will fail and that we will look
for any excuse to bail out - leaving the Turks in place to broker power.
Introducing Turkish troops into the Sunni
Arab region, the sole area of Iraq even partly hospitable to
dead-enders from Saddam's regime and to
international terrorists, is as short-sighted as it now appears expedient.
Please visit our sponsors
Subject: Arnold's Hitler remarks
Bart,
You haven't commented about reports that
Al Franken misquoted Arnold and that what
was actually said was that he admired Hitler's
abilities but NOT what he did with them.
Since I have not (nor have many of us) seen
Pumping Iron, I don't know who to believe
(although I choose to believe Franken usually).
Your two cents?
Cris
Atlanta
I can't imagine anybody watching a bodybuilding
movie.
I have not heard about Al Franken and a misquote, but we do know
that Arnold
bought the rights to that movie so he coulds destroy the master
tapes.
Sounds like Mr Cali-fornia has something to hide.
Quotes
"We have to look at people who they are today,
not what they may have done wrong in the past.
There isn't a person in this room or
anywhere else in the world who is perfect, who has lived perfectly."
--Orrin Hatch, trying to make it
President Groper Attribution
Spending
On Iraq Sets Off Gold Rush
Bush contributors laughing all the way to the Social Security
lockbox
Excerpt:
Among the dozens of projects in the proposal
is a State Department plan to spend $800 million to build a large training
facility for a new Iraqi police force.
Management fees alone would run $26 million a month, while 1,500 police
trainers
would cost $240,000 each per year, or $20,000
each per month. DynCorp of Reston is likely to get the contract.
Police trainers are paid a quarter of a
million dollars a year? And we need 1,500 of them?
I'll bet they're getting $60K and the B.F.E.E.
is skimming $180K each
- times 1,500
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The FCC gives Bono a pass
Excerpt:
The complaints objected to Bono's uttering
the phrase, "this is really, really, fucking brilliant."
The FCC, using the F-word more often to
explain its decision than Bono did on the air,
said the word "may be crude and offensive,
but, in the context presented here, did not
describe sexual or excretory organs or
activities." That distinction is a key test to measure
whether a statement meets a federal standard
for broadcast indecency.
So you can say the f-word on TV if it's not describing sex?
Click to see a fun flash movie
Quotes
“Rush never knew much about football, anyway.
He was dumb and loud, but he has never been
anything more or less than a half-bright
commentator with an agenda who wanted more than his
15 minutes of bitchy fame. He was greedy,
and so was ESPN for hiring him.
Rush Limbaugh is a lame professional
Swine and he makes a good living at it. He is like a hired
Geek in some traveling backwoods carnival
-- the freaks who bite the heads off Chickens -- but
Limbaugh is a modernized Geek who thinks
he can bite the heads off of people."
-- Hunter S Thompson,
Attribution
Joe
Conason's Journal
The same Republicans who excoriated Clinton for his consensual
misconduct
have excused or ignored Schwarzenegger's undenied assaults.
Excerpt:
"Conservatives capable of honest comment on the
Republican victory in California aren't easy to find, so Steve Chapman
deserves special attention today. His unsparing
examination of right-wing sexual hypocrisy -- a subject almost impossible
to exhaust -- in the cases of Bill Clinton
and Arnold Schwarzenegger should shame Chapman's comrades on the right.
If the new governor's accusers are telling
the truth, he has a long history of what the California penal code describes
as "sexual battery," a pattern considerably
worse than anything credibly charged against the former president.
Chapman names names, including David Frum,
William Bennett, Linda Chavez and the Wall Street Journal editorial page,
which went so far as to praise Schwarzenegger
for his "candor." (He omitted the awesomely phony Sen. Orrin Hatch, however.)
"Maybe the defenders of virtue exhausted themselves
so thoroughly attacking Clinton that they have no energy left to find
fault with Schwarzenegger," Chapman writes.
"In any event, I have yet to hear a peep of disgust from the major moralists
of the right." He knows his comrades all
too well, as his stinging kicker proves.
Please visit our sponsors
More from Joe Conason
More fun with wussy Bill
Don't miss today's broadcast of "Fresh
Air," the NPR program hosted by Terry Gross.
I am reliably informed that her guest,
Bill O'Reilly, fled the studios in a fit of anger
-- and that the show will be played in
its entirety, including his undignified exit.
What did the tiny, soft-spoken Terry ask
that drove big, blustering Bill from her Philadelphia studio?
Hearing the Fox blowhard explode again
may brighten an otherwise grim day.
Marty's
Entertainment Page
Jay Leno - the Right (wing) Comic
Tommy Chong reported to prison
Paul McCartney pranked by Canadian radio
New knights
Jamie Lee Curtis says ahnold will surprise Californians
Louis Armstrong's house opened for tours
And a baby panda
Vatican: condoms don't stop Aids
Excerpt:
The Catholic Church is telling people in
countries stricken by Aids not to use condoms because they have
tiny holes in them through which the HIV
virus can pass - potentially exposing thousands of people to risk.
The church is making the claims across
four continents despite a widespread scientific consensus that
condoms are impermeable to the HIV virus.
A senior Vatican spokesman backs the claims
about permeable condoms, despite assurances by the
World Health Organisation that they are
untrue.
The WHO has condemned the Vatican's views,
saying: "These incorrect statements about condoms
and HIV are dangerous when we are facing
a global pandemic which has already killed more than
20 million people, and currently affects
at least 42 million."
What? The Catholics are flying in the face
of logic?
Can't be.
Letter to Rush
Hypocrite weasel-
I am a bit confused. Your morning
whine was about Grey Davis being a serial woman batterer and how
the liberal media (which as you and I both
know doesen't exist) wouldn't address it. Ahnold has been accused
by over fifteen women (at last count),
of having sexually molested them, but I only hear silence from you and
your fellow liberal bashers. What's
up here, old moralist? You couldn't shut your stupid fat lying mouth
for
five seconds when you were hypocritically
and piously slamming Bill Clinton for his sexual indiscretions.
Oh, yeah, I know, that was "different".
I can't wait to see the "family value" Bushies
out in California swapping spit with this pervert next year in their
desperate, and I pray futile, attempt at
a second term. I picture our fraudulently elected president with one arm
around a bible and the other around the
governator. I'm sure you and your fellow weasels will have no trouble
explaining to your brain dead audience
that pervert Ahnold's "indiscretions" weren't the same because he wasn't
in the White House and that Ahnold was
just being playfull, or some other kind of weasel excuse.
I was going to go on a little longer here
but I feel the need to go puke. You seem to have that effect on me,
and the majority of Americans who are sick
to death of lying, hypocrite weasels like yourself. I just read what
I wrote so far and I think I've probably
used the word weasel a few too many times but I am struggling to find
a more apt descriptor. Perhaps evil, poisonous,
venal, lying sack of shit would be an acceptable substitute.
Anyway, disgusting vile liar, I am a bit
confused on another issue as well. When you were outed for being
a
pill popping serial druggie criminal,
you insisted that you weren't being "Clintonesque" by making a weasel
(just can't stop using the word) nonstatement,
and that the whole situation would be revealed to your dittohead
adherents, "as soon as you knew what you
were facing." Well, weasel, when do you think that will be?
I check your website daily and you haven't
done it yet. Perhaps after your stay at Betty Ford, when you can
explain to everyone how you were ambushed
by the lefties. That's it, "the lefties made me do it."
MOST sincerely,
Tony McGrath
Quotes
"It is incredibly important to get that message
(of celibacy) to young women.
You know, really, if I had an opportunity
to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would,"
-- Kendel Ehrlich, wife of Republican Gov. Robert
Ehrlich of Maryland, Attribution
Subject: re: Stephen Bennett, an ex-homosexual and head of Stephen Bennett Ministries
Too funny.
I went to highschool with this guy.
His whole ministry is premised on the fact
that he stopped being gay, which God hated, and his miserable life turned
around.
Now he has an ex-lesbian, Christian wife,
and life is just grand!
Actually, he was an out of control drug
addict, and when he stopped doing excessive amounts of drugs, his life
turned around.
Though not much. He just traded cocaine
for the opiate of the masses. That's the thing these Jesus-freaks
can never figure out
--you didn't get healed. You just
traded one excess for another. You're still suffering from your basic
problem.
You never learned to grow up and exercise
a little self-control.
And, while you're at it: try exercising
a little responsibility. The devil didn't make you do anything.
You wanted to do it, and you were too child-like
not to.
They never learned to do the right thing
for no other reason than it was the right thing to do.
They need a reason. They need a reward
for being decent.
If this guy didn't think God was looking
over his shoulder, he'd be back in the black leather chaps in a heartbeat.
That's not salvation. That's a monkey
with electrodes hooked up to his nuts.
Press the green button, monkey. Get
a banana.
Press the red button, monkey. Go
to hell.
Ricky Z
(Jimmy Carter gets a pass on that diatribe,
as do most normal Christians. Most Christians love their religion
because it reflects values that they already
embrace. I'm talking about the bible-thumpers, the ones that like
Christianity because it allows them to
tell other people they're going to hell.)
Excerpt:
And it may have dire implications for the
Pentagon and White House if Americans come to believe that their trust
was betrayed when the president and his
team spread the impressions that Saddam was about to blow us up and
that he was behind the 9/11 attacks.
It doesn't help to have a former-NATO-commander-turned-presidential-contender
running around telling the country
that the Bush dream team is a bunch of
dunces. Or a former-diplomat-turned-angry-husband -of-an-outed-spy running
around telling the country that the Bush
dream team is a bunch of backstabbing lawbreakers who are dead wrong on
Iraq.
The administration that never let you see
it sweat is sweating, as two of its control freaks openly tug over control.
The president's foreign policy duenna and
his grumpy grampy over at the Pentagon are suddenly mud wrestling.
Why Jay Leno became Bush's lil' soldier
Excerpt:
Clinton hasn’t been in office for nearly
three years now.
Yet there’s Leno night after night still
giggling about Bill and Monica.
Leno was still finding his footing after
playing No. 2 in kudos to Letterman, who had given television
what was praised as one of its most important
entertainment hours of the entire season on 9/17/01.
In contrast, Leno’s speechifying looked
artificial and awkward. He needed a new shtick.
Leno found one: siding with the Bush administration
no matter what the circumstances. Leno’s White House
promotion was still riding high even when
the nation’s terrorist trembling had nearly subsided. After Bush went
after France, so did Leno. When Bush went
after Iraq, so did Leno. Last month, he even found a way to combine
both issues in a single joke: "Well, there
are now reports that France may agree to train Iraqi soldiers. Why?
I thought Iraqis already knew how to surrender."
Today, the Clinton gibes continue on The
Tonight Show, and the Bush jokes are still few and far between.
That’s made Leno a favorite on the lucrative
corporate master-of-ceremonies circuit since so many CEOs tilt Republican
Siegfried says Montecore did not maul Roy
"Dat's what he said..."
Excerpt:
KING: What did you see?
FISCHBACHER: I just thought that the tiger
grabbed him on the sleeve like this and Roy said, "Let go,"
and the tiger let go. And Roy went back.
And he slipped. He tripped (and fell). And then tiger went over there
and,
of course, at that moment, I run. I realize
-- I thought, "Roy's in danger." I run. Also my animal helper who was on
the side and watching careful. And we run
and we try to separate. And, I realize that the tiger took Roy by the neck
and he pulled him back on stage. Because
it was outside in the audience, you know?
KING: Do think he was trying to help him?
FISCHBACHER: That's exactly what I think.
Roy fall and he want protect, because that's danger, you know?
An animal like this and tripping and he
gone over there. And of course, when we went -- I thought we were
doing
right when we went there - he was in extra
danger, right? So he took Roy and put him backstage behind the curtain...
KING: To protect him
FISCHBACHER: To protect him. and then he let Roy go and went back.
YUMAN: (Their
manager) Montecore was helping save his friend
to take him to safety.
This is not an attack. This was not
a mauling. This was Montecore taking his friend to safety.
Big cats, calculated risk
Excerpt:
But "tigers are highly evolved specialists
at killing large mammals. That's what all those teeth and claws are for,"
Seidensticker says. Horn and his partner,
Siegfried Fischbacher, are known for "providing the best of everything
for their animals and also as consummate
professional trainers," he says. "In spite of that, this happened.
That tells you something. It was inevitable."
The truly scary thing about the attack,
Seidensticker says, is that perhaps 10,000 tigers nationwide are kept by
private owners with little training and
in conditions far less opulent than the pampered tigers of the Las Vegas
act.
"I look at each of those cats as another accident
waiting to happen."
Subject: weird deal
I was in Sacramento this week for a wedding
and sat at a table full of strangers.
During the conversation one of the folks
from Wisconsin mentioned Bartcop and that he was a member.
After that we had a very lively discussion
and many drinks.
What another fine example for a Bartcopper.
Roland
October sticker placement contest!
How to win:
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PO Box 54466
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OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers
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The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
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Quotes
"If you can trample your own campaign promises,
avoid talking about fixes for the state's problems,
drive a Hummer in smog city, get accused
of pawing 15 women, and still captivate an electorate in which
Democrats hold a huge advantage, you
deserve to be governor. And the people deserve to have you."
--Steve Lopez,
Der
Gropenfuhrer
Excerpt:
Tulare county gave 'obscure' candidates
very high percents of their state wide totals:
Palmieri - 995 out of 3,717
26.77%
Platform was 'don't vote for me or the
recall'. Gay Rights activist who lives in LA.
Kunzman - 694 out of 2,133
32.54%
Lives north of Oakland and favored increased
social programs. Said he would fire all
school custodians tosave money and have
the kids empty the trash and clean the carpets.
Sprague - 546 out of 1,576
34.64%
Zero tolerance for discrimination. Lives
near
From: Bob
Subject: You have proven
yourself and idiot
Please visit our sponsors
Quotes
"I've learned my lesson. Never underestimate
the stupidity of the American voter.
Just when you think they can't be bigger
fucking idiots, they prove you wrong.
Stupid sells. Hence the miraculous relative
popularity of Dubyah, despite all of his
adminstration's screw ups and deliberate
screw jobs. By rights Bush should have
favorability and approval ratings that
make Gray Davis look like Mr, Popularity.
--Hesiod,
http://counterspin.blogspot.com/
"I want him to be governor,because he is really
cool and he’s got lots of money for us, too. "
--Andrea Lazano, Schwarzenegger supporter,
quoted on Olbermann
Radio show feedback
Hi--
1) The clip-your response-clip-your response
format works really well.
Most of us have short
attention spans, so it's best to deconstruct Rush (or whoever) sentence
by sentence.
2) Your voice sounds great--not that it was bad before, but whatever you did equipment-wise really worked.
3) As for the "more shows" question, I'd rather have fewer, higher-quality shows than something quantity-driven.
4) I guess just keep in mind that we're paying to hear what you think, and we're doing that because we get a kick out of you.
5) I think it would be a nice idea for you to get COMPLETELY shit-faced and do a show.
Jessica.
Jessica,
1. Those are fun to do.
2. Credit Tommy Mack, and my finding the front
of the microphone
3. Me, too.
4. Thanks,
5. That could happen.
Quotes
"I wanted to give this to Tom DeLay's lap dog,
Rick Perry."
--Alec Baldwin, in Austin carrying a box of dog biscuits
for Republican Gov. Rick Perry, Attribution
Study proves FOX News audience is stupid
Excerpt:
PIPA found that 48 percent of the public
believe US troops found evidence of close pre-war links
between Iraq and al-Qaeda; 22 percent thought
troops found WMD in Iraq; and 25 percent believed
that world public opinion favored Washington's
going to war with Iraq. All three are misperceptions.
I blame:
FOX for
lying about everything
The rest of the media for not
calling them on it.
Democrats for hiding in the
corner begging, "Please don't hurt me."
La Cucaracha by Lalo Alcaraz
Quotes
"At best, the evidence indicates that Schwarzenegger
has a habit of sexual battery. This goes beyond the behavior
that unleashed a scandal on Bill Clinton.
So consider their double standard. When Clinton did with Monica, conservatives
thought it was morally repugnant. They
also thought it disqualified him from remaining in office. Yet they're
happy to have
as governor of California someone who,
by his own admission, has forced himself on unwilling women. Their new
darling
is a more aggressive sexual predator than
the president they tried to remove from office. Morality? Law? They'll
leave it
to liberals to fret about such irrelevancies.
But if the charges persist and multiply, I predict conservatives will find
a way
to address Arnold's behavior: They'll blame
it on Clinton."
--Steve Chapman
Double
standards
John Bonham, the best drummer Led Zeppelin ever had, was a car collector.
When you make gazillions of dollars, cars are fun to collect.
He didn't seem the type, but I wonder if he owned any Cadillacs?
The reason I ask - it seems several times a night for maybe six
months or more,
I've been hearing his opening to "Rock n Roll" as a prelude to
a Cadillac commercial.
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Baseball, pro and college football, and Eldrick Woods!
This weekend, Minnesota and Michigan will play for the Little Brown
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that is if they can get it out of the pResident's hands and pour
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Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was 323,
....this issue it's 326
They got
of our boys since yesterday.
Damn, I hate to hear that.
Soon, we'll be at 400.
How long before we hit 600?
How long before we hit 1000?
Total deaths since President Frog-blaster said, "Bring
'em On": 118
121 son of a bitch
Over
1,400 wounded - with many missing arms, legs and eyes.
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
From http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
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Take a breath
I know you feel like we're losing.
I know you feel like you just want to give up.
I know you wonder why you're fighting when nobody else
gives a fuck.
Just remember - we're
right.
We're right on the issues, and they can't help but come to us.
As time goes by, they'll see things our way, but time is so sloooow.
Just keep hanging in there - we'll win in the long run.
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© 2003, bartcop.com
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Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
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