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Issues| Bart
Cook
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In
Today's Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "Credibility comes when you say something
You mean like finding WMDs in Iraq? |
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Quotes
"Any document that has to do with 9/11 we have
to see it -- anything. There are a lot of theories
about 9/11, and as long as there is
any document out there that bears on any of those theories,
we're going to leave questions unanswered.
And we cannot leave questions unanswered."
--Thomas Kean, Chairman
of the "independent" 9/11 commission,
Attribution
Of course you'll leave questions unanswered - or you'll lie about the findings.
Your co-chairman is Lee
Hamilton,*
(B.F.E.E. Employee) who covered up Iran-Contra for Poppy.
Why the hell do you think he was hired for this job? To
steer the commission away from discovering
the Unelected Warmonger's complicity and the massive cover-up
that has followed it.
*The
Democrats, led by the accommodating Rep. Lee Hamilton, D-Ind., let the
(Iran-Contra) inquiry
be run by former Reagan-Bush
attorneys. The chief investigator, E. Lawrence Barcella Jr., also was
both the lawyer for the
corrupt Bank of Credit and Commerce International (which was implicated
in
the October Surprise case)
and a law partner of former Sen. Paul Laxalt, R-Nev., who was chairman
of the 1980 Reagan-Bush
campaign.
The B.F.E.E. can always count on Lee Hamilton to
steer Bush investigations to dry holes and dead ends.
This bullshit "independent" commission could've filed their final
report the day they hired Hamilton.
Excerpt:
The government is paying Cheney's Halliburton
"enormous sums" -- $2.65 a gallon
-- for gasoline imported into Iraq from
Kuwait, two lawmakers charged on Wednesday.
Henry Waxman and John Dingell said this
gross overpayment was made worse by
the fact that they're reselling the gasoline
in Iraq for four to 15 cents a gallon.
Waxman added: "We know that someone is getting
rich importing gasoline into Iraq.
What we don't know is who is making the
money, Halliburton or the Kuwaitis?"
Henry - get real. The
B.F.E.E. is skimming those billions.
What are you, new? Stop talking about it and
DO SOMETHING!
If you'd read bartcop.com you would've known
this years ago.
Demand hearings, put the bastards under oath and jail the guilty
SOBs.
Quotes
"The 9/11 commission shouldn't need
a subpoena to get the White House to share data."
--Newsday Editorial, "Open Up"
Attribution
Unka
Dick, what if they find out?
Subject: Iraq- Are we getting our butt kicked by 'Amateurs'??
Excerpt:
These attacks are not organized,
or planned even regionally, they are hit and run, ...
"These are nothing but Amateurs."
Really?!!
If this is just amateurs, what's going
to happen when the friggen Pro's show up to fight?!!!
Rebels
Attack; Int'l Groups Bolt Baghdad
Bush's loss of control causing mass exodus
Excerpt:
Insurgents blasted a freight train west
of Baghdad and exploded a bomb near a convoy,
injuring a U.S. soldier, on Thursday as
international
organizations continued their exodus from Iraq.
The UN said Wednesday it was temporarily
pulling its remaining international staff out of Baghdad,
joining other organizations in withdrawing
after Monday's Red Cross bombing. The Red Cross and
Doctors Without Borders said they too were
pulling their workers out of Baghdad.The withdrawals
came despite assurances by Bush that the
security situation in Iraq was steadily improving.
The world knows he's over his head and lying
about progress being made.
"Bring
'em on! We're not scared!
We ain't leaving, either!"
Quotes
"Of all the things that shouldn't be partisan,
a full understanding of the Sept. 11 attacks should top the list.
Yet the 9/11 panel has been forced
to issue subpoenas last month. Must it really come to this?
Doesn´t everybody have the same
goal - to make sure there is never another 9/11 to be investigated?"
--Opinion, The Idaho Statesman,
Attribution
How naive can they be in Idaho?
Of course we don't have the same goal.
We want the goddamn truth, but Bush and Hamilton want to "Kissinger"
the facts to protect Bush.
We
spent 500 times more time and money investigating
Clinton's
zipper than we have investigating 9-11.
That's how Al Qaeda caught us by surprise - the GOP had all
our bloodhounds chasing
I-need-money trailer tramps all the way
from Arkansas to f-ing Japan, for Chirst's sake..
Critics
Blast CBS' Reagan Miniseries
The truth is bad, Reagan's sainthood should not be challenged
This is the real Reagan, according to his hand-picked
biographer.
Excerpt:
The angry buzz over "The Reagans" has grown
louder and more pointed. "Advertisers will bail on CBS'
Reagan movie," Pat Buchanan predicted Sunday.
Two days later, a conservative media watchdog group
(is there any other kind?)
announced a boycott call-to-arms. But CBS isn't showing signs of regretting
its
excursion into political drama. Based on
experience, observers say, it probably doesn't need to.
Reagan's Alzheimer's was evident when
he was governor of California.
"The Reagans' appears to be a blatantly unfair
assault on the legacy of one of America's greatest leaders,"
Brent Bozell (R-Tool) wrote in a letter
Tuesday to potential sponsors. "Reagan is being portrayed as a
hateful,
half-nut homophobe," he said in
an interview. "It's not that the historical record is being distorted.
It's that the
makers of the movie are deliberately defaming
him and lying about him."
He's right - Reagan was a hateful, full-nut
homophobe, and an uncaring simpleton towards AIDS and the poor.
Reagan was the first Nazi president since
Nixon, so they decided to canonize him for comparison. He was never
anyhing more than a puppet for the B.F.E.E.
while they secretly controlled the world. Ronnie cut ribbons and made
jingoistic, flag-waving speeches like the
current hateful, full-nut homophone, who is even more stupid than Reagan.
You could tell when Reagan was lying -
he'd always punch himself in the head after each lie.
(Hit
refresh)
He also made some nasty-ass remarks about mental health that came
back to haunt him.
Don't buy the Saint Reagan crap - Reagan's the bastard who made
"liberal" a dirty word.
I wonder...
If Bill Clinton was still president,
and he, personally,
presided over the assests of an
illegally conquered nation,
and was accountable to NOBODY
for the hundreds of unaudited billions
passing thru his hot little hands each week,
not to mention 350
dead soldiers
with more coming day after day after day,
...I wonder if the GOP would insist on any oversight?
"Oversight? Why bother? We trust Dubya, he's honest..."
Marty's
Entertainment Page
November sweeps begin tonight
Transcript of Cher's call to CSPAN
Protest pictures from San Francisco
Fried transmitters
(tastes like chicken)
More on the NRA blacklist
(Can you get on if you own guns?)
Annie Lennox & LOTR
Bette Midler & Hulaween
No breaks for Tommy Chong
(More threat than Al Qaeda)
Canadians boycotting the Rolling Stones
NBC/GE bought full-seasons of 'Whoopi' & 'Happy Family'
Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg's 'A Patriot's Handbook'
Who's on hiatus
Roy Horn transferred to an LA hospital
LA smoke in Vegas
November tv program highlights
Scott Weiland f'd up, again
(I hate that - I've seen him live - he's hell)
And a couple of red pandas
A shout out to my good friend Kris Moe.
I hear you have a wicked Happy
Hour at your place.
We'll have to try that sometime.
A shot of Chinaco to you, Dude!
Quotes
"Senator Zell Miller of Georgia said he will
endorse Bush for re-election (sic)
in 2004 and
campaign for him if Bush wishes him
to. And he wouldn't "trust" any of the Demo candidates
with governing during that crucial
period. This Democrat will vote for President Bush in 2004."
--Fred Barnes, much more stupid
than Chippy the Chimp Attribution
Monkey 1
Monkey 2
The proof
Scientific proof that Chippy the Chimp (unaffiliated)
is 119 points smarter than the Fred Barnes monkey.
Right now, somewhere in America, George Will is saying, "Thank Koresh for Fred Barnes."
Let's
Defend our Defenders of Freedom
by Mike Bryon
Excerpt:
After all, when the parade is over and
the last of the confetti is swept away, our military personnel and veterans
will
still need our care and our support.
And they are not getting it - funding for VA patients for example has decreased
by about $635.00 per patient in recent
years. The current Administration and its allies in Congress are
clearly much
more interested in cutting taxes for the
wealthiest one percent of Americans and for job-destroying multi-national
corporations, than they are in actually
honoring our commitment to the welfare and tong-term care of our valiant
defenders of freedom. I used to conduct
field investigations for the IRS back in the mid 1980's--I know how to
read the budgetary numbers - they don't lie.
The story they tell is an appalling one.
"Those
veterans are always 'gimme, gimme, gimme.'
What about my rich contributors?..."
Subject: Hex on Chimp
Where'd the Hex on Flyboy Wannabe go?
Please reinstate -- DAILY.
Hey, it worked on Tiger, proving you have the power.
Findley
"Hex on Thee, Hex on thee, Hex on thee!"
Ayyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiii!!!!
I can't take no more BartCop Hex!!!
Cond-i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i !!!
Nichols'
Brother Sues 'Columbine' Director
Mad killer's brother says Moore tricked him, made Terry his
brother
Excerpt:
"James Nichols, the brother of OKC bomber Terry
Nichols (R-LessGovernment), says he was tricked into
appearing in "Bowling for Columbine," according
to a federal lawsuit filed against filmmaker Michael Moore.
Nichols accuses Moore of libel, defamation
of character, invasion of privacy, emotional distress and making him
look like an idiot when he put a gun to
his own goddamn head in the film.. His lawyer is asking for a jury trial
and damages ranging from $10 million to
$20 million on each of nine counts.
Of course, the we-hate-lawsuits GOP will
cheer on this crazy man because he's suing a non-Republican.
(Moore identifies hiumself as an "independent.")
Subject: Eat a peach
Read your piece with mail on Duane Allman
in the latest issue.
Did you know he died on October 29th?
Mark B
No, but there's a whole lot I don't know...
Quotes
"The White House, worried that the report's
findings could become a campaign issue if it's released shortly
before the election, will be counting
on the GOP-controlled Congress to fend off an extension. Bush is notorious
for secrecy, but it surprises us that
he would stonewall a bipartisan commission that is investigating 9-11.
If there are more delays, Republican
leaders in Congress should set aside partisanship and extend the
commission's deadline by several months.
This is a job where shortcuts can't be tolerated."
--Las Vegas Sun Editorial, Stonewalling
by Bush
If Bush is innocent, why is he fighting so hard to keep the truth hidden?
Excerpt:
Two more American soldiers have been killed
in hostile action in Iraq,
taking our combat death toll to above the
number killed during the invasion.
The deaths brought to 117 the number of
American soldiers killed by hostile fire
since May 1 when The Fraud declared an
end to active combat. A total of 114
U.S. soldiers were killed between the start
of the war March 20 and the end of April.
PLUS
more.
Quotes
"I've got this footage from Fox News of that
morning, (9-11) it's like literally within, you know, 30 seconds of the
second plane hitting, Fox news was
calling it for Osama bin Laden, much like they did on election night for
Bush.
They just kind of will it to happen,
and then everybody just started saying, Osama, Osama, Osama, and
nobody
paused to think, well, OK, maybe, but
maybe could it be something else? Is there something else going on here?"
--Michael Moore, Home
of the Whopper
Plus, the idiot president keeps insisting he saw the FIRST plane
hit the WTC. Half the time he says
his first words were, "That's one bad
pilot," the other half of the time he
says his words words were,
"We're under attack and we will take swift
and desisive action to save America."
We can't get straight talk out of the Oil Invaders, no matter
what.
The Murdering Monkey can't stay on-script long enough to sell
the lie.
Subject: Churchillesque
I'm just wondering: when England stood
alone, did Churchill ever
proclaim the RAF or Monty to be his "unstickers"?
Did he ever say he was "just trying to get out of harm's way"?
Did the Canadians ever accuse him of being
a moron? The Australians?
And, hey, Churchill was responsible for
Galopoli and Dieppe.
Ricky Z
Bush isn't Churchillesque, he's just chilling.
Excerpt:
"In an institution filled with ambitious men,"
wrote Post reporter Lois Romano more recently, "some viewed
Clark as over the top, someone who would
do or say anything to get ahead-and get his way." Now to a rational
mind, accusing a West Point valedictorian,
four-star general and presidential candidate of ambition is about as
newsworthy as charging a golden retriever
with an unseemly zeal for chasing tennis balls.
If the phrase "would
do or say anything" sounds familiar, that's because it comes directly out
of the GOP
playbook. The last Democrat depicted as
crazed with ambition was Al Gore, who never figured out how to
counter a barrage of false accusations,
such as the absurd canard that he claimed he'd "invented the internet,"
ceaselessly reiterated by Washington pundits
taking dictation from the Republican National Committee.
Ain't that the damn truth?
Even once-respected reporters like Cokie Roberts and
Bob Schieffer jumped on the "Gore invented the internet"
bullshit when they knew for a fact it wasn't true, but they wanted
to freeze Gore out and get their monkey in.
Roberts and Schieffer are whores that should resign in disgrace
and become waiters at some goddamn Denny's.
............................................
Click to Enter
Quotes
"Mr. Luskin demands that you remove the October
7th link and caption, and the comments section
associated with that caption, as well
as the comments posted in response to another link that you
posted on October 10th, titled "Liberal
Incivility Watch," immediately. This is your opportunity to
resolve this matter without legal expense
and exposure to liability and damages. If the offending
posts are not removed within 72 hours,
further legal action will be taken.
-- nasty letter to Atrios
www.atrios.blogspot.com
Subject: re: Call me a Bush Hater
Bartcop,
Did Molly Ivins hire you to write her
column??
That was one of her best ever!
Thanks for featuring it.
Maria
Maria, thanks for the compliment, but Molly Ivins has no idea what a 'bartcop' is.
Found this Tommy Jefferson - not sure who to credit...
(Sticker was taped, not applied to TJ)
Quotes
"Should Saddam choose confrontation, (Saddam
was unarmed and Bush knew it)
the American people can know that every
measure has been taken to avoid war (What
a liar!)
and every measure will be taken to
win it." (So why haven't you?)
-- President Lying-His-Ass-Off, March
17, 2003, the "48 hours to leave" speech Attribution
Excerpt:
Citing internal records and interviews
with members of the Iraq Survey Group, the special C.I.A.-led team
of military experts dispatched to find
Saddam Hussein's forbidden weapons, The Post's Barton Gellman
reported that investigators have reached
a devastating conclusion: "Although Hussein did not relinquish his
nuclear ambitions or technical records
it is now clear he had no active program to build a weapon,
produce its key materials or obtain the
technology he needed for either."
Mr. Johnson expressed the bitterness felt
by many in the intelligence community toward this President,
whose father's name adorns their Langley
headquarters. "We're all Republicans. We all voted for Bush.
And we all contributed funds to him," he
said. But after the assault on the Wilsons and the C.I.A., he believes
"there are some bullies in this administration,
and the essence of being a bully is being a coward. And I expect
President Bush - having voted for him, I
expected something different from him."
All those disappointed patriots know much
more than they have yet disclosed.
But then, the election year has yet to
begin.
http://www.campchaos.com/othershows/casino-of-doom/cod10.html
It just might be - you gotta click and let it load.
Thanks
From Corporate Tax Dodgers
saw it on Tompaine.com
..
Excerpt:
You and Rep. Bill Thomas are actually working
on a plan to give us more than $135 billion in new tax breaks.
A special thanks is in order from our friends
at companies like Bank of America, Pfizer and Hewlett-Packard.
They already dodge taxes by setting up
shop in the Cayman Islands and Bermuda, yet still stand to benefit
from this latest loophole lollapalooza.
We'll never forget that you're the president
who slashed our taxes by 40% in just three years.
No president has ever managed such a feat.
...yet we can't afford kevlar vests for the boys getting shot in Baghdad?
October sticker placement contest!
..
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers
within 48 hours.
The
stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
......
Click
Here for the best October stickers
Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or the 2004 Playmate Calendar on DVD.
I could be yours if you
send Bart a sticker pic.
send to bartcop@bartcop.com
Subject: alternative website censors?
Bart
What the eff?
Your site is being blocked by some ISP's?
I know there's mirror sites, but that's
still VERY effed up.
If my ISP tried that shit, they'd have
one very pissed off soon to be ex customer making them very uncomfortable.
migs
Dude, I think it's people surfing at work
Subject: How to get around Bart-Blocking Nazi software
Bart,
After reading that the company Derrick works
for has blocked your site I wanted to offer
some advice that he and all other employees
of midsize to large companies need to hear.
When surfing the web from your job I recommend
using a proxy so that the pages you visit
can not be seen by the local sys. admin.
and your bosses.
I personally use http://www.guardster.com/ and https://www.the-cloak.com/login.html
These will send all of your pages through
their proxies and encrypt it for you so that the only thing
the snoops can see is that you are going
to the guardster site or the cloak site. There are a lot more
free web proxies offered and you can find
them by searching google.
Keep hammerin' Bart, we'll get those bastards
---AnthraxSleuth---
Dude, thanks for that.
Dennis Miller - will suck for money.
Fox
nearly sued itself over 'Simpsons'
Matt Groening not singing from Nazi hymnal, FOX steaming
Excerpt:
Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel threatened
to sue "The Simpsons" over a parody
of the channel's Nazi political stance,
the creator of the hit show has revealed.
Matt Groening recalled how FOX considered
legal action, despite the fact that "The Simpsons" is
broadcast on sister network, Fox Entertainment.
Fox took exception took a Simpsons' version of
Fox News idiotic news crawl which parodied
their Nazi ways, with headlines like "Do Democrats Cause Cancer?"
"Fox fought against it and said they would sue
the show," Groening said. "We called their bluff because we
didn't think Rupert Murdoch would pay for
Fox to sue itself. So, we got away with it."
While the lawsuit never materialized, Groening
said some action was taken.
"Now Fox has a new rule that we can't do those
little fake news crawls in a cartoon
because it might confuse the viewers into
thinking it's real news," he said.
Nazi Rule Number One: Don't let the
liberals have a voice.
Nazi Rule Number Two: If Rule Number
One doesn't work, murder them.
Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was
times 356
....this issue it's
times 357
They got one
kill since last issue.
..
I want that oil - no matter how many lives it costs!
Soon, we'll be at 400.
How long before we hit 600?
...and then 1000?
Total deaths since President Giggles said, "Bring
'em On": 153
154
From: http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
Plus, at least 2014
2076 wounded for Bush's oil hardon.
Many of them are missing arms, legs and eyes.
From: http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
VCR Alert
Oh, tonight it's a BIG one.
Phoebe gets engaged since it's the last year of Friends.
I liked Hank Azaria better, but whatever makes Phoebe happy.
Plus, I hope her French husband understands.
Survivor is promising a "twist," and they generally
deliver on their twists.
C.S.I. is the best of the murder mystery
shows - it'll rock.
Bravely battling Friends and C.S.I.,
we have the premier of Tru Calling.
This is the space monkey show starring Elisa Dushku, the best-looking
gal from Buffy.
She plays a morgue tech who talks to the cadavers, then goes
back in time (Robert Klein theramin!)
to save them from whatever happened to them on their last day
on Earth.
The previews show her kicking the crap out of some dudes, Mrs
Bart likes that.
They should have an evening block of Tru, Karen Sisco topped
off by Alias.
It would be "Ladies Kick Greedy, Crooked
White Men's Ass night."
...so I'll be taping Friends and Tru,
missing Tru's premier of that great theme song that
Michelle Branch refuses to play on any late night talk show appearances
or award shows.
What's up with that? Is the song so old, she's not expected
to play it?
Even if you write a killer song, if you can't do it live, you're
Britney Spears.
.(Not a compliment)
And on top of all that, they're replaying Monday's episode of
Skin.
Monday, I did a word association Rohrshack to this episode
of Skin.
Skin:
Politics,
sex,
blackmail,
loyalty,
money laundering,
young, ambitious women,
secret deals,
Mom lying to Dad,
press manipulation,
culture clashes,
private dicks,
payback is a Coulter,
drugs,
video cell phones,
porn auditions,
"special financing,"
sneaking around,
two secret affairs - at least,
the 52,000 sq ft home, where the 16 year-old
Jenna Jamison look-alike blonde virgin lived,
If you ever liked Dallas or Dynasty, this is the 2003 version.
Add
Me to Your Lists
by Alan Morse
Excerpt:
Add me to your lists Mr. Bush.
Send my name to Mr. Ashcroft. Forward it
to the FBI, the local police, the INS and the IRS.
Make sure your Secret Service takes note.
Copy my name to every blacklist, enemies
list, security list, and watch list your scribes scribble.
While you detain activists at airports,
I am ashamed to travel unchallenged.
While you abduct untold, unnamed foreign-born
Americans, I am ashamed to sleep in my own bed.
While you steal food, not just rights,
from millions of families, I am ashamed to eat.
"Shoot
this Al Kinda sleeper cell - he just confessed..."
Reminder:
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
You can tell by the tongue - it's Ann Coulter
Have a good time today. Take your wife out to dinner, but some toys for the kids.
Quotes
"One thing I acknowledge about the right is
that they're much better haters than liberals are.
Your basic liberal--milk of human kindness
flowing through every vein, and heart bleeding over
everyone from the milk-shy Hottentot
to the glandular obese--is pretty much a strikeout on the
hatred front. Maybe further out on
the left you can hit some good righteous anger, but liberals,
and I am one, are generally real wusses.
Guys like Rush Limbaugh figured that out a long time
ago--attack a liberal and the first
thing he says is, "You may have a point there."
-- Molly Ivins, Call
me a Bush Hater
I'm not proud that I have some GOP in me, but the evil side has
the will and the testosterone.
When you attack a liberal, they generally apologize and promise
not to do it again. (See Senate democrats.)
When you attack me, the last thing I'll say is, "You
may have a point there."
Something on your mind?
Call the
Then listen for your voice on...
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Joe
Conason's Journal
When the president told the press yesterday
that the sailors had put up that "Mission Accomplished"
banner on the USS Lincoln last May, his
statement may have been technically accurate.
Within hours after Bush pointed at those
boastful sailors, his own spokesman admitted that the White House had,
in fact, designed and purchased the gigantic
banner. But it was all the sailors' idea (perhaps like those letters "sent"
by the soldiers in Kirkuk to their hometown
papers, at the behest of their commanding officer).
Shopping
online?
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
Click to Order
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Krugman Wellstone
Franken
Palecek
Conason
Moore
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com
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Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
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