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Issues| Bart
Cook
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In
Today's Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "That makes you feel like you fought for nothing
We all wish it wasn't true.
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Quotes
"I picked up my leg and put it on the bench
and lay down next to it."
--Sgt Erick Castro, after
an RPG drilled through the back of his armored M113 "battle taxi"
Attribution
All the trillions we pay in taxes and we can't give these men
an armored vehicle that can stop an RPG?
I guess the Carlyle Group wanted to save a few dollars, making
the B.F.E.E. more money every day.
Excerpt:
Al Qaeda is suspected of staging a suicide
attack on Sunday that killed at least 17 people
and wounded 120 in the Saudi capital, Riyadh.
In May, a triple suicide bombing on a
Riyadh housing complex killed 35 people.
"It is quite clear to me that al Qaeda wants
to take down the royal family and the government
of Saudi Arabia," U.S. Deputy Secretary
of State Richard Armitage told Saudi TV.
Washington has been pressing Saudi Arabia
to combat al Qaeda, believed responsible for
the attacks on 9-11. Fifteen out of the
19 attackers were Saudis.
Am I the only one who is suspicious about this?
Each time Osama makes a move, President Pinhead's hand gets stronger.
This latest attack reinforces Bush's militancy and legitimizes
his Daddy's owners, the Saudis.
This attack will raise the price of oil and make Bush stronger
for the 2004 election.
It's life-and-death that we remember Bart's Law #2.
Any time a person
or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money (or approval points)
in their pocket, expect them to make that
"mistake" again and again and again.
Each time Bush's good friend Osama blows people up, Bush is seen
as President Protect Us.
Expect Osama to be helping Bush a lot in the next 11 months.
Bush needs Osama.
Bush would be at 30 percent without Osama.
..
"War
is good. The media loves me. I'm the man!
This is my big chance! I'm a big war hero!"
In Baghdad, NBC Comes Under Fire, Twice
Excerpt:
"It was a world exclusive for NBC's Jim Miklaszewski,
the only television reporter able to show
footage of the devastating attack on a
Baghdad hotel that narrowly missed Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz.
But some U.S. officials in Iraq raised
fierce objections and tried to block Miklaszewski and his cameraman from
filming the scene. "The NBC journalists
conducted themselves in a wholly inappropriate, uncaring and insensitive
manner,"
says Gary Thatcher, communications chief
for the U.S. occupation authority. "Instead of rendering or summoning aid,
they focused on gathering video footage
of people in agonizingly painful situations . . . in order to boost the
ratings."
NBC, the home of call-it-early-for Bush and that extra-fair and objective reporter Tim Russert?
B.F.E.E.
dealt with Nazis until 1951
...but we forgive them because Dubya is vital to our future
Excerpt:
After the seizures in late 1942 of five U.S.
enterprises he managed on behalf of Nazi industrialist Fritz Thyssen,
Prescott Bush, the grandfather of President
George W. Bush, failed to divest himself of more than a dozen
"enemy national" relationships that continued
until as late as 1951, newly-discovered U.S. government documents reveal.
Furthermore, the records show that Bush and his colleagues routinely attempted to conceal their activities from government investigators.
Bush's partners in the secret web of Thyssen-controlled
ventures included former New York Governor W. Averell Harriman
and his younger brother, E. Roland Harriman.
Their quarter-century of Nazi financial transactions, from 1924-1951,
were conducted by the New York private
banking firm, Brown Brothers Harriman.
The White House did not return phone calls
seeking comment.
...and the networks, talk radio and the media in genral refuse
to report this story because
they are covering up the truth so they can get their precious
tax cuts again next year.
Flashback from Volume 139 - Make It Stop
Great Fascist Quotes
"This isn't my body.
I just rent this body from God."
-- Spred-em-and-Home-wreck-em Doctor Laura
Hey, Doc, I've seen your body.
So has every teenage boy with a modem.
You should talk to God about a refund.
Steve and Eydie
Thanks to Rosemarie
Hopefully she didn't attach the sticker...
Quotes
"When you join the Army, they send your picture
to your hometown paper because
they want everybody to know that you're
leaving for the military. But if you're wounded,
the military doesn't tell them, because
they might be worried about the public getting
negative about what's going on over
there."
--Sergeant Mike Meinen,
Attribution
They changed the story
Hey Bart.
They changed yesterday's story.
You headed it as Military
goes nuts - blasting houses in Iraq
Well now the link says nothing about the
US military assault on Iraqi homes
and does not have the quote from Lt. Col.
Russell.
More editing services provided by the B.F.E.E.
Keep hammering,
Ted
Those bastards.
They're re-writing history to portray Bush
as less of a murdering monster.
How will history remember Bush if the news
is censored in the present, right before our damned eyes?
Excerpt:
Ralph Nader called Democrats "chronic whiners"
for continuing to accuse him of spoiling the 2000 election for Gore.
"They should realize that the retrospect on Florida
concluded Gore won Florida,'' he told the Wisconsin State Journal.
It was stolen from the Democrats. And
they should concentrate on the thieves and the blunderers in Florida, not
on the Green Party.''
It's gotta be tough on Ralph, knowing his massive ego allowed
that murderer to steal the White House.
When he thinks about the damage Bush has done to the environment,
he must get nearly suicidal.
Jimmy
Fallon steals another bartcop.com
gag
It's never Tina, it's always Jimmy
From Friday's Volume 1196 - Closing in on 400
Dave's baby - I wonder... Will it float?
Subject: The religious right
I am a Christian that is fed up with the religious right and their pollution of Jesus' teachings.
Jesus never advocated taking up arms and
attacking other countries and people.
People like Farwell make me want to puke
up green pea-soup slime on their filthy interpretations.
If you, Bart came across a starving man,
you would give him food, and clothe the naked, etc,...
You, Bart are more Christian than the religious right wing nuts that push their filth and corrupt minds.
TPG
T, I believe that last sentence to be scary and true.
Marty's
Entertainment Page
Ronald 'Shotgun Wedding' Reagan by Baron Dave Romm
Nick's Poetry
Fresh BAGnews
A history of Japanese anime (since 1917)
Tucker Carlson & PBS
Peter Fonda, Jay Leno & 'Love Ride XX'
Aaron Brown's star fading?
Miss Afghanistan & 'Beauty For A Cause'
Garry Kasparov & 3D chess
Niki Lauda's newest airline
And some links
Random thought
I wonder how many of the 400 dead Americans would still be allowed
if Bush had allowed them to have Kevlar vests.
His unstoppable hardon for oil caused America to invade a country
before we were able to protect our people.
Also, think how many soldiers would still have arms and legs if
the armored personnel carriers his Daddy builds
had more steel in the floor, making them less susceptable to
land mines and rocket propelled grenades.
...but, I guess it's cheaper to let young men die.
We have nearly 400 dead (as of this writing) but Bush has his
oil and Poppy sold his APCs.
It's all about making a buck to these B.F.E.E. bastards.
Cronkite: media mergers threaten democracy
Excerpt:
"I think it is absolutely essential in
a democracy to have competition in the media,
a lot of competition, and we seem to be
moving away from that," said Walter Cronkite.
"The way that works is to have multiple owners,
with the hope that the owners will have
different viewpoints, and with the hope
that the debate will help to air all sides, or at least
most sides of the issues. But right now
I think we're moving away from that approach."
Wally, I think we lost different viewpoints
years ago when every media outlet discovered
that there were hundreds of millions to
be made by fabricating lies about Bill Clinton.
They also know if they print anything that
doesn't fawn over Bush's "greatness,"
they will be swamped with freeper mail
and organized efforts to hurt them,
so the lazy bastards take the easy way
out and praise the illegal murderer..
If only the Democrats weren't such it's-not-polite-to-fight pussies.
Zendaba at the Magic Kingdom
Excerpt:
But some fret that the Pentagon - growing
desperate as the Turks, the Indians, the Pakistanis
and other allies refuse to send reinforcements
- has been turning out new Iraqi police officers
and guards as swiftly and sloppily as Lucy
and Ethel turned out chocolates on the assembly line.
The Washington Post reported that tens of
thousands of Iraqis were being shoved into action
"with little or no formal training in democratic
standards and relevant job skills."
Many diplomats were shocked to read the
Times report that the back-channel attempt of Iraqis
to avert war, with Richard Perle as go-between,
was blown off with the C.I.A. message,
"Tell them that we will see them in Baghdad."
Gnash with a bartcop.com sticker
Iraqi insurgency is waning, general says
Excerpt:
"We think the insurgency is waning," said Brig.
Gen. Mark P. Hertling, the assistant
division commander for support. "The ones
who continue to fight are losing their support."
Hertling said the impression left by the
media in the minds of Americans is that the situation
is worsening or, at least, not improving
in the city.
"The majority of our soldiers feel we are making
progress every day and we are beyond the hardest part," Hertling said."
If this is how the military is thinking, we have to get out of
Iraq not tomorrow, but today.
This idiot just said there's a shortage
of religio-crazies who are ready to die for their 72 virgins.
That's not true.
There are a billion Muslims.
If only one percent are the fringe crazies, that's ten
million suicide bombers.
Is America willing to sacrifice ten million soldiers for Bush's
fake war?
Click here for great Christmas gift ideas!
Subject: Issue 1147
I was hoping you'd corrected it, but issue
1147 doesn't seem to be available.
The link takes one to issue 1148.
I missed 1147 last weekend - I know you don't read these so much,
but none of the contacts looked like the
right one to get hold of. So here's hoping.
I just want to see the issue I missed.
ThankS
Regina
Regina, I think others might also have this
problem, so I'm printing your letter.
If you find that a link is broken, it's
possible I'm just one letter or number off.
Say you click on http://www.bartrcop.com/1147.htm
and you get Issue 1148, instead.
If that happens, just look at the very top of the page and in
the address box where you see 1147,
just swipe over the 1147 and change it to 1148.
That will almost always work.
Sidebar:
For newbies, when you "mouse" over a link,
the address appears in your lower left corner.
Sometimes, when I'm doing these links at 130 MPH, I'll accidentally
have "html" when I should have "htm."
I'm not trying to get you to do my work for me, but if it's a
story you'd really like to read, it could be very close.
Also, if you see a link that says, http://www.buzzflash.com/lucithebat.htmTHE
dropping the THE with your blue swipe will probably bring it
up.
Better yet, Googling
the headline should also produce the right link.
Sometimes the link is from yesterday and it's just screwed,
but I wanted to remind people you're often just a character away
from the right link.
Excerpt:
John Kerry, trying to jump start his ailing
campaign, has fired his campaign manager.
Kerry released a statement saying he made
a change, and that Jim Jordan's job was being given
to veteran Democratic operative Mary Beth
Cahill and that Jordan was being offered another position.
Kerry is third in most polls in Iowa, where
the nation's first presidential selection caucuses will be held,
and trails Dean by a double-digit margin
in New Hampshire, a must-win state for both men.
Opinion: Kerry has been too silent
and too sheepish for too long.
He's the classic example of a fighter who's
behind on points and must have a knockout to win.
I wish Kerry would earn the right to be edited out of this graphic.
Hey John, did you ever consider that Dean
is winning this race
because he's not afraid to attack the Illegal
Fraud?
............................................
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Please send in jingles and "Bart will
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Mick the Voice - I need all of that you can send me.
Please send those to bartcop@bartcop.com
If we use your stuff, free membership is the least I can offer in return.
Subject: progress in Iraq is BS
Bart,
I keep hearing the neocons talk about all
the progress being made in Iraq with the electricity
coming back on, schools being opened etc.
But since none of these spinners went to Iraq before
the invasion they have no idea what things
were in operation then.
What I see as most probable is that repairs
are being made to things we blew the shit out of
during the invasion. That is most certainly
not progress. Progress will begin after return to the
pre-invasion status quo has been achieved.
Like that's going to happen while the country is occupied.
Thanks,
Steve
Steve, most excellent point.
Bush bragging about all the progress there is just like his bragging
about
how much the economy has improved over the last year or so.
Starting at zero, it's EASY to say much progress is being made.
People need to remember that in both Iraq and the economy, it
was Bush that destroyed them,
but the headlines will continue to scream, "record gains," even
tho we're still far below the Clinton years.
BartCop reader Pamela Brown has a book out
..
Click to Order/for details
Subject: Pickles = Hot Lips Houlahan?
Dear BartCop
Have any of your readers noticed the uncanny
similarity between the unelected Pinhead
and his wife 'Pickles', and Majors Frank
Burns and 'Hotlips' Houlihan from the 4077th M*A*S*H ?
I wonder if they could, in any way, be related?
I think we should be told!
Ena B
Oxford, UK
Ena, you could be on to something...
And the American press is Colonel Flagg.
...saw it on APJ.US
Late
Innings
by my good friend Alan Bisbort
Excerpt:
Sometimes to get a run across the plate,
you have to bunt with a man on first. That means, give up one out
for the greater long-term goal of winning
the game. In other words, Democrats have to get past their differences
from the primaries and get behind the guy
who can get the run in from 2nd base with a single. I don't see any
power hitters on the Democratic side right
now. We don't have Boog Powell, Frank and Brooks Robinson in
the lineup anymore. And no one is hitting
the Republican sliders [ed. note: or screwballs] well. We just need to
play the game smarter. Rather than cast
blame, it's time to grab a bat and try to get someone to 2nd base and
someone to single him home. I'll take that.
Bart,
BartCop Radio program #18 ROCKS.
I'm not against your tearing up on Rush,
but a little O'Liely is good every now and again.
Maybe you could do a Drudge or a Hannity
and colmes.
Thanks for keepin' on.
DP
Dennis Kucinich for America!
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Hi, Bart,
In No. 1196, you wrote:
"To be Koresh-honest with you, I don't know who Noam Chomsky is.
I've heard the name a lot, and I'm guess he(?)'s a writer, but he doesn't
speak for me until I know who he is and what he stands for - that kind
of thing."
Noam Chomsky is an internationally-renowned semanticist
and linguist, a
professor at MIT. He was born and grew up in Philadelphia, and some good
friends of mine attended public and Hebrew school with him. His father
was
Superintendent of the Hebrew school system here.
Because of his understanding of semantics and linguistics, Professor Chomsky
began "connecting the dots" some years ago on the way the media and government
use language and propaganda to shape public opinion and policy in this
country.
The result of these observations was perhaps his best-known work, "Manufacturing
Consent," which he co-authored with Edward Hermann, a professor at the
University
of Pennsylvania Wharton School. Written in 1988, it is still in print,
and is probably the
defining work on what your friend at MWO refers to as the "media whores"
and their
support of the interests of the corporatists both in and out of government.
Mark Crispin
Miller probably also owes a great deal to Chomsky's ground-laying work.
I had the honor to hear Professor Chomsky speak in Philadelphia some months
ago. During his speech, he observed that the 20th century had seen the
rise of
three totalitarian systems: Communism, Fascism, and corporatism. He went
on to
say that we've gotten rid of the first two, and we should be working on
the
third. He doesn't use the term "B.F.E.E." but I'm sure he would understand
it.
In most of the world, Professor Chomsky is revered as one of this country's
great intellects. In this country, he always draws large crowds to his
speeches,
especially on campuses, but he is virtually blacked out of the news media.
You will never see him interviewed, not even on PBS' "Lehrer News Hour."
He has been totally marginalized and ignored because he speaks uncomfortable
truths that the government and the corporate elites don't want you to hear.
In other words, Bartcop with a doctorate, but without the Glock or the
Chinaco.
Ann in Philly
Ann, thanks for that. It was informative and funny.
I received many, many explanations of who Noam Chomsky is.
Thanks to everyone who wrote, even the people who totally despise
Chomsky.
Housekeeping
I have a new, improved e-mail system.
I'm also finding a bunch of mail I didn't know I had.
So far, I haven't located the "This mail
has been answered," icon,
so if you get mail that's already been answered, that's why.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was 
times 392
....this issue it's
times 394
..
Please vote for me. I know military strategery.
We're almost at 400.
How long before we hit 600?
...and then 1000?
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
'em On": 187
189
From: http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
Plus, at least 2195
2230 wounded for Bush's oil snatch.
Many of them are missing arms, legs and eyes.
From: http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
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Subject: BartCop Radio
I am loving it, and every time there's a
new show, I'm DAMN happy I subscribed
...but why does the show usually cut off
instead of you giving it an ending?
It always makes me wonder if my computer
messed up or something.
Rose
Rose, thanks for the kind words.
Most of the truncated botherings are tech-related.
Sometimes, the program says, "Changes
are not allowed," so I have to either
go with what was recorded or junk it, and I don't have that much
material.
Way too many times, the program says, "We
can't do what you asked for."
If I had an on-site tech wizard, I could be comedy boy instead
of wish-I-was tech boy.
Reminder:
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Subject:
Hi, Bart,
I dunno which is truer:
a) It takes about 10 "back-issues" of RL_LNW
to finally crack me up
b) It takes about 10 drinks, or...
c) sometimes, you' re funny
This is what finally got me to giggle and not stop, after reading all night, from RL-LNW #139...
--------
The King of Debate
Caller: Rush, What happens if a pro-abortion
EXTREMIST like Republican Governor Whitman is on the 2000 ticket?
Should we vote for her?
Limba: It depends...
--------
lol.
Kym
Something on your mind?
Call the
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Subject: radio feedback
BartCop Radio Show 18 REALLY kicked ass,
nobody deserved it more than Bill O'Lielly, except of course
Rush who won't get nearly what he deserves,
and the BFEE, who will probably get of scot-free and have
a set of coins commemorating thier Reich
coming soon from the Franklin Mint.
Tristan
Bart, you might want to suggest to those
who want to listen to Bart Radio and are not strong enough to carry
their computers from room to room, that
installing a baby monitor works great for listening all over the house.
Penny
...saw it on smirkingchimp.com
Bush
blocks money for U.S. soldiers jailed and tortured in Iraqi prisons
Since the B.F.E.E. now owns all Iraqi assets, that's money
right out of their pockets
Excerpt:
The Bush administration is seeking to block
a group of American troops who were tortured in Iraqi prisons during the
Persian Gulf war in 1991 from collecting
any of the hundreds of millions of dollars in frozen Iraqi assets they
won last
summer in a federal court ruling against
the government of Saddam Hussein.
In a court challenge that the administration
is winning so far but is not eager to publicize, administration lawyers
have
argued that Iraqi assets frozen in bank
accounts in the United States are needed for Iraqi reconstruction
and that the
judgment won by the 17 former American
prisoners should be overturned.
"I've always tried to keep in the back of my mind
that we were never going to see any of the money," said Colonel Storr,
who was held by the Iraqis for 33 days
- a period in which he says his captors beat him with clubs, broke his
nose,
urinated on him and threatened to cut off
his fingers if he did not disclose military secrets. "But it goes beyond
frustration
when I see our government trying to pretend
that this whole case never happened.".
Can you believe these B.F.E.E. bastards?
The reason we invaded Iraq is because they are rich with oil,
but our POWS need to be screwed?
Has Bush ever passed up a chance to screw a veteran?
Have a good time today.
Sometimes the peach truck fails to start and you get a second
chance.
Don't waste a day - not one.
And whatever you do, never quit!
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It had everything.
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Shirley last week - back with the long red/brown hair.
She downplays her beauty and sexuality, but if they put a nice
picture
of her on the cover of the next CD - I'll bet it will sell extra
millions.
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
on
your next American tour.
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