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In Today's Treehouse... US to 'Get Tough' in Iraq  Vote Skewed by Computer Cannon Fodder Day  Filling a Suit Not Enough Lib Forced from Military Heroes or Lepers US Facing UE Sanctions England Hates Him, Too Bush's Rape Victim(?) Dies Quote of the Day "Thirty six soldiers died in Iraq last week,   but *I* was the top story in New York.   Something is very wrong, here."   -- Rosie O'Donnell quote from memory     So Rosie, is Bush still your hero?

Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

 Quotes

"We've got 1,800 veterans dying each day, and only 500 buglers.
  We needed to do something to fill the void."
     --Lt Col Cynthia Colin, on why the military has been using "ceremonial buglers"
       at some military funerals - a tape that sounds like the real thing,    Attribution

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 America's top general in the Middle East has warned Iraq the U.S. military will use stern
 measures unless they curb attacks against coalition forces.  The warning was another sign
 of a "get tough" campaign against insurgents, who have accelerated attacks against U.S.
 and coalition forces in recent weeks. U.S. forces had eased off on raids during the Muslim
 holy month of Ramadan, which began in late October.

"Neither America, nor the father of America, scares us," said one resident, Najih Latif Abbas.
"Iraqi men are striking at Americans and they retaliate by terrifying our children."
 
 

..
 "War is great. The media loves me. I'm the man!
   This is my big chance!  I'm a big war hero!"

 Vote count marred by computer woes
  Software goes crazy - again

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"It was like 144,000 votes cast," said Garofolo, whose corrected accounting showed
 just 5,352 ballots from a pool of fewer than 19,000 registered voters.
"Believe me, there was nobody more shook up than I was."
 

 I think we can safely assume no Democrats were shook up...

 Cannon Fodder Day?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:.
 Each year, America sets aside one day to honor and cherish its veterans.
 Pity about the other 364.

 Younger vets from Gulf War I continue to be plagued by mysterious illnesses that the VA generally
 continues to refuse to acknowledge or treat as service-related. And now, American soldiers are back
 in Iraq, trapped in a nightmare scenario. Some aren't coming home alive. Rumors abound that many
 who are coming home are suffering even more extensively and seriously from mystery maladies.
 For all of this, the VA and the Bush Administration are stonewalling pleas from vet groups, young and
 old alike. George "AWOL in wartime" Bush can wear a uniform for a photo-op, but the men and women
 who actually took on risk for their country are at best the victims of a sort of cruel political expediency,
 forgotten except when some president or congressperson wants to wrap themselves in a flag.
 

... 
 "Screw those whiners!
  They're overpaid, anyway."

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 There is an old Brady Bunch episode in which Greg is plucked out of obscurity by a talent scout
 who says she is going to make him a rock star. It turns out his singing ability didn't attract her
 - a production studio would make Greg's voice sound however she wanted - but he had the
 right physique for the glittering costume.

 This is how George Bush got to be president. He was the perfect front man for the corporate interests
 and right-wing ideologues who were looking for a guy who was both electable and malleable.

 Like Greg, he fit the suit.

 Quotes

"If I went to a funeral this afternoon of a fallen soldier in Iraq, what would I say?
  Did they fall there for democracy? They are not going to have a democracy.
  It is going to be the Shiite democracy, like they have in Iran -- at best.
  That is exactly what Secretary Rumsfeld said we were not going to have.
  Was it for nuclear? No. Was it for terrorists? No, they didn't have terrorists there.
  Your son gave his life for what? As their Senator, I am embarrassed. It wasn't for
  any of those things. Why we went in, the administration has yet to tell us.
  They keep changing the rules and the goalposts every time." 
      --Senator Fritz Hollings,   Attribution

 
 Gee Senator, with 400 dead, you're thinking it's finally time to begin to raise your voice?

 Liberal views force soldier out of military

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 I honorably served my country for eight years in the United States Marine Corps; providing honest intelligence
 analysis and collecting countless awards and promotions throughout my career. I was also a leader and mentor
 to scores of young men and women. In those eight years, I sacrificed more of myself for this country than most
 men and women ever will in their lifetime. But, thanks to the zeal and quick judgment of this individual, I am no
 longer serving our beloved country. His forecast was correct. Following his letter to DoD, I was brought up on
 charges of "Disloyal Statements."  Not because anything I wrote was disloyal, but because of my political views
 and how they differ from Mr. Simpson and others like him. The unfortunate aspect of this is not my demise, but
 their inability to understand or accept the opinions of others as different from their own. Nonetheless, I was forced
 to retain an attorney and undergo weeks of scrutiny before being cleared of the charges. I was, however, never
 allowed to work in Intelligence again; forced to separate the Marine Corps over threats that I would not be allowed
 to reenlist. Never mind the fact that there is not one single negative mark on my entire eight years of service
 (the letter incident was considered "hush-hush" so not even that made it on my record), or the fact that every one
 of my superiors stood up for me during this time, praising my abilities and loyalty to this country. None of that
 mattered; only my "liberal beliefs."

..
 "Screw Europe!
  My family has money!"

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 White House security demands covering Pinhead's visit to Britain have provoked a serious row with Scotland Yard.
 American officials want a virtual three-day shutdown of central London to foil anti-war protestors.
 They are demanding that police ban all marches and seal off the city centre.

 But senior Yard officers say the powers requested by US security chiefs would be unprecedented on British soil.
 While the Met wants to prevent violence, it is sensitive to accusations of trying to curtail legitimate protest.
 

 Legitimate protests?  What are they?
 Protests aren't allowed in America under the never-elected Furhrer,

 The whole world hates Bush - he can't go anywhere unless the crowd is bussed in ditto-monkeys.
 Clinton could walk in a f-ing McDonalds, any day of the f-ing week - but Bush needs some 400-foot zone of silence?

 Could it be that the average American stand stand his failed, Nazi ass?

 Bart:

 You did a good job of defending southerners.
 It was my fault  I was the one who insulted them.
 Give out my address:  th@net.
 They can spew their hatred (and their black-eyed peas and grits) at me, not you.

 Let's not forget the real enemy here:  Nebraskans.

 ha ha

 As a way to say I'm sorry I'll buy a month subscription to the first southerner to sign up
 for Bartcop Radio--because you don't even need to be literate to listen to Bartcop radio.
 I wish I could buy a membership for all three Southern Democrats, but I am just a poor corrupt student.

 Tim

 Heroes or Lepers?
  America's dress-up president won't go near the wounded. But Cher will.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Have you seen all of that graphic media coverage of the 2000-plus wounded servicemen and women who served in Iraq,
 laying in military hospitals with missing limbs? Me neither. I was made more aware of them last week by· Cher.

..
    "Excuse me, but fuck this war..."
 

 You heard me right. And don't you dare laugh: With the corporate media so hush-hush on the topic and Bush trying to hide
 images of the dead and wounded, let's be thankful there are still some divas with big mouths left.

"Why are none of Cheney, Wolfowitz, Bremer, the president, why aren't they taking pictures with all these guys?
 Because I don't understand why these guys are so hidden· Don't hide them. Let's have some news coverage
 where people are sitting and talking to these guys and seeing their spirit.".
 

 Note: Hear Cher's phone call in the next BartCop Radio Show - up soon!

 That story from Volume 1197 - Insurgents Rising that the NY Whore Times changed for Rove?
 The Chicago Sun Times stayed with the original story.

 Good for them, and shame, shame, shame on the New York Whore Times,
 a once-great paper, for helping Bush and Rove screw this once-great country..

 Click  Here  to see the Sun Times version.

 Click  Here  to see the version stored on my hard drive.

 Quotes

"He feels acutely every loss. He understands that he is asking the American
  armed forces and American families to make the great sacrifices. But the
  fact is that nothing of value has ever been won without sacrifice."
     --Condoleeza Rice, whipping the other slaves for Whitey  Attribution

 
 Hey Condi, what sacrifice did your boss make to win his valuable job?

..
    Justice Bush-style, no lawyer, no trial. no phone calls

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Supreme Court will hear its first case arising from Bush's anti-terrorism campaign following 9-11,
  agreeing to consider whether foreigners held at Gitmo should have access to American courts.

 The appeals came from British, Australian and Kuwaiti citizens held with more than 600 others
 suspected of being Taliban or al-Qaida foot soldiers. Most were picked up in U.S.
 anti-terrorism sweeps in Afghanistan following the attacks of two years ago.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The federal government has agreed to pay $350,000 to a woman who says she was singled out
 for a strip search by Miami airport agents because she is black.

 The Justice Department agreed to settle a lawsuit filed by Brent without an admission of wrongdoing
 two years after she won an appeal that found she was subjected to an unconstitutional strip search and X-ray exam.
 

 In typical Bush fashion, the guilty aren't paying her - we f-ing are - the taxpayers.
 Why is the illegal Bush administration never held accountable for anything they do?

 Subject: Will it float?

 Hi Bartcop,

 I am confused.   I am not getting the joke about Dave's baby floating.
 I saw it on your site last week, and I heard it on Weekend Update on SNL
 (I thought of you when I heard Jimmy Fallon use that joke).
 But obviously I am missing something.  Will you fill me in?

 Thanks, and I love your site.

 Kelly
 

 Kelly, about once a week, Dave does a nonsense skit where they get a big tank of water
 and some weird object like a plastic tub of pickles. Then he and bandleader Paul guess if
 the object will float or sink - then the girls drop the object into the water.
 

 It's pure silliness, ...like 1/4 of  bartcop.com

 Quotes

"America has entered one of its periods of historical madness, but this is the worst I can remember:
  worse than McCarthyism, worse than the Bay of Pigs and in the long term potentially more disastrous than Vietnam.
  The reaction to 9/11 is beyond anything Osama bin Laden could have hoped for in his nastiest dreams."
     - John le Carré

 Subject: Thomas Jefferson

..

 The Thomas Jefferson photo from the October sticker contest was mine.
 Here is the text of the email I sent:

"Thanks for the stickers. I thought you had forgotten me but you found my SASE
 under some mail and finally sent me the stickers. I was almost forced to send you
 one of those famous "I was about to donate until you pissed me off..." letters.

 ha ha

 Attached is a couple of pictures of a statue of Thomas Jefferson sporting a Bartcop sticker.
 I'm sure if he was around today he'd be a stringer for the best web site on the 'net.

 The statue is in Williamsburg, Virginia and depicts Jefferson working on a draft of the
 Declaration of Independence. But in fact Jefferson wrote the Declaration in Philadelphia
 in June of 1776. In fact, Jefferson was only in Williamsburg for a few years in the 1760's
 and hated every minute of it. A lover of great architecture, he called the buildings in
 Williamsburg "misshapen piles of bricks" and called his professors and fellow students
 "drunkards". Just a little history for you.

 We don't have poker or tequila here in Williamsburg but we do enough history to choke pig
 (Jamestown, Williamsburg, Yorktown), Busch Gardens, Virginia ham, and damn fine bourbon whiskey.
 If you're ever down here in the tidewater of Virginia, give us a shout and enjoy our hospitality. "

 Thanks again for the stickers.
 Sincerely,
 Andy Mac
 

 Andy, this will no doubt come as a shock to you, but I have history with whiskey.
 I still can't figure out why, but back in my Hard Rock Island Live Rock days,
 sometimes the on-duty bartender would say, "Bart, this guy wants to see you do a shot."

 Deciding it was economically advantagous to satisfy the locals, I'd down a shot of Jack Black
 like I was Bruce Durn on Gunsmoke or Heath Barkley after he found out Linda Evans was his sister.
 I still can't figure out why, but the Oakies stared in awe when I'd down a shot of whiskey.

 Subject: Bartcop, your politicallty correct ignorance is typical

 Greetings from Tennessee,

 You say..

> "..I speak bad things about the South because I live there."

 No, you don't.
 You live in the MIDWEST if you live in Oklahoma.
 You have proven time and time again you don't know anything about the South.

 Tulsa is 70 miles from Arkansas, where I finished high school and went to college.
 Half my relatives are Arkies, and I know them very well.

> "I assume your neighbors are like mine - ignorant rubes who hate blacks and gays."

 You shouldn't assume anything of the sort. I've never been to Oklahoma and I
 bet the far majority of the folks there are just fine.

 Dude, how old are you?
 Can't you understand why New York and California sent educated women to the senate
 and voted for Gore, but OK and TN voted for the ignorant rube who hates blacks and gays.

 How do you think a backwards-thinking caveman like Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik) got to the senate?
 You think he got there because Oklahomans are educated, sophisticated and refined?
 Inhofe's qualifications consists of his hatred from the Clintons  ...so he's worshipped here.

 We have bona fide snake handlers in Oklahoma.
 That's not a joke.

 Our new governor ran against Steve Largent, former GOP golden boy.
 Largent lost the 2002 governor's race because he was against cock-fighting!
 If you're not a cock-fighting, snake-handling Clinton hater, you're not electable in Joklahoma.

 Come to Tulsa and see how long it takes to spot a bumper sticker on a pickup that says,
"Save America, lynch a liberal."   Liberal is their code name for "negroes."

 Sidebar:
 Since I live here, it goes without saying Oklahoma is not ALL racist, KKK Jim Inhofe fans.
 Funny how I need to print that disclaimer every damn time this subject comes up.
 I am NOT against every man woman and child south of the Mason-Dixon.
 Why am I forced to explain the obvious again and again?
 

 You really don't want to get rid of George Bush, do you?
 Treating Southerners like crap on you shoe is very unwise, Bart.
 We're the key to victory.

 I don't speak for Dean but I'm guessing he was trying to say Southern voters are more than
 flag-waving yahoos, but Bush will embrace Bob Roberts and kiss the Dixie slave flag to make
 Southern bigots feel comfortable with their racism. Isn't that how this fight got started?

 As long as I'm pissing off the South, I was very disappointed in John Edwards with his, (paraphrase)
 "The last thing we need is some Yankee coming South to tell us what to think."
 The first thing I thought of was Lynyrd Skynyrd singing, "I hope Neil Young will remember,
 Southern man don't need him around, anyhow," which is a pro-lynching line.

 I thought Edwards took an extremely cheap shot, trying to bolster his standing with the "Land of cotton" crowd.
 Last I heard, Edwards was below 50 percent in his own state, so maybe that outburst helped him.
 

 I submit that you and all politically correct simpletons are the ones that needs to be educated.
 Regards,
 RM
 

 RM, OK, let's try it your way:
 Let's pretend the South is not more racist than the rest of the country.
 Let's pretend we did not fight a civil war (more dead than Vietnam and WWII together) to make the South knock that shit off.
 Let's pretend the civil rights riots and Lester Maddox and George Wallace were merely fiction.
 Let's pretend I'm not old enough to remember white and black drinking fountains in Little Rock and Memphis.

 Sidebar:
 Even as the youngest of whippersnappers, I always asked questions.
 I remember bothering some nuns when I was very, very young.
 That's how I lost my good Catholic faith.

 Let's say ...42 years ago, I was in Little Rock, at a Main Street Woolworth's store.
 I'd get thirsty, and I'd spot a drinking fountain, far away.
 When I got to the fountain, sometimes there were 2-3 white people in line ahead of me.
 Even then, I was a very busy little boy.  Right next to it was the "Colored" drinking fountain.

 I was too young to hate the black man, I had no reason to hate them, and dammit I was thirsty.
 So I drank from the "Colored" drinking fountain and female witnesses everywhere clutched their pearls in shock.
 Sorry, I'm off-track...

 Let's pretend Bull Conner didn't exist and nobody ever heard of Jim Crow laws.
 Let's pretend they weren't lynching blacks as recently as the fifties and sixties, and some say today.
 Let's pretend Sam Nunn's homophobia didn't sabotage Clinton's first weeks in office.
 Let's pretend Newt, Delay and Barr didn't impeach Clinton for being a friend to the blacks.
 Let's pretend Trent Lott, Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond were honorable senators.
 Let's pretend Zell Miller and John Breaux aren't blowing Dubya on alternating weekends.

 Now what?

 VCR Alert

 Madonna on Dave, no doubt with lots of tips on how to raise Harry.
 If you're really old, it's back to Mayberry one more final time.

 Friday -  Jessica Lynch on Dave.
 Maybe she'll tell us how she feels about the Monster-in-Chief

 I'd rather she reward Jon than Dave, but anything's better than ass-kisser Leno.

 Dear Sam and BartCop,

 My husband is probably one of your biggest fans, and I pretty much see eye-to-eye with you on political issues.
 We live in an religiously oppressive area, dominated by the religious right.  In an effort to lead some out of the ignorance,
 I wrote the following article; but naturally, the local newspaper (which prints a daily front-page quote from the Bible)
 refused to print it.  Feel free to use this in any way you see fit:
 

 Spirituality of the Atheist

 Why does the unbeliever baffle so many of the religious? Is it so difficult to accept and appreciate life simply for
 what it is - with no specific explanation?

 How much more mysterious and majestic this universe is without an exegesis! What an incredible lottery we have won!
 It's awesome to be part of such unprecedented fortune and to be more than just a pawn in some deity's scheme.

 Heaven is not a distant place we only experience with our demise. Paradise is here on earth. It is the smell of brewing coffee,
 newly cut hay or sweet potato pies in the oven. It is the feel of a mimosa flower brushed across the nose, the soothing hum
 of a purring kitten or in the rush of sledding downhill. Bliss is in the glitter of campfires, in uncontrollable laughter and in the
 serene land of early morning fog.

 Death is merely a natural process in which our bodies nourish that which continues to live. There is no "weeping and
 gnashing of teeth," no "fire and brimstone," no eternal Hell to suffer in. It can even be the peace or the end of pain
 that some so desperately seek.

 Even so, the dissenter of doctrine lives on. The freethinker is embodied in the eyes, hands and minds of children.
 The spirit of the sectarian will continue to thrive in those who enjoy life - simply for what it is.

 An Admirer,
 Vivian

 Coming back from that dreadful Scary Movie 3, we saw a new Senior Tequilas,
 which is a Mexican Restaurant we reviewed years ago on this page.

 We were hungry so I pulled in.
 Last time we were there, they only had Cuervo posing as tequila.
 I'll be damned, they now have 33 kinds of tequila and really awful-tasting food.
 I believe that's the biggest selection in K-Drag.

 I'll have to go back there sometime when I'm not hungry.

 Update

 Margie Schoedinger of Missouri City, Texas has filed a lawsuit against
 George W. Bush in Fort Bend County Court. In her suit she is alleging
"race based harassment and individual sex crimes committed against
 her and her husband." The suit lists numerous offenses and asks for
 actual damages, punitive damages and judgments against Bush.

 Click  Here

  Click  Here  for a pdf of her complaint. She says she used to date the man some call president.
 

 Margie D. Schoedinger expired Monday, 9/22/03 .
  I guess she won't be a problem to the BFEE's long-range plans anymore.

  Click  Here

 I finally got some confirmation from an obit in the Houston Chronicle that Margie Schoedinger, the woman
 who filed a sexual assault lawsuit against Bush last year, died in September. I called the Harris County
 Medical Examiner's office, which lists her cause of death as a "gunshot wound to the head" and "suicide."

 When I talked to Schoedinger in July she sounded in good health. She was only 38. It's another weird
 tragedy surrounding the Bush administration - and this one has received NO mention from the media.

 Jackson Thoreau, author of We Will Not Get Over It

 What I wrote Saturday...

 Speaking of Jessica Lynch...

> The reason you can claim you didn't "believe the shitmeisters" is because you didn't publish
> your reaction to the news of the day to be read by others, only to have the "facts" change a day
> or two later. It's easy to take the position, "I knew all along," if you don't publish daily.
> For all we know, Monday they'll discover proof she was raped, so all we can do is work
> with the "facts" we have.

 Monday's online Time Maganize said:

"The exam in Landstuhl," Dr. Greg Argyros, her primary doctor during her 100 days at Walter Reed,
 told TIME, "indicated that the injuries were consistent with possible anal sexual assault."

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq

 Last issue it was times 392  ....this issue it's  times 394

..
         Please vote for me.    I'm a military jenius.

 We're almost at 400.

 How long before we hit 600?

  ...and then 1000?

 Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring 'em On":  187  189

 From:  http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
 

 Plus, at least  2195  2230  wounded for Bush's oil snatch.
 Many of them are missing arms, legs and eyes.

 From:  http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?

 November sticker placement contest!

..

 How to win:

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 bartcop.com  PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
......
 Click  Here   for the best October stickers

 Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or your choice of  a subscription
  to Maxim Magazine   (Maxim has no nudity) or any similarly priced book or magazine.

....

.
     Send Bart a sticker pic
   then unwrap your free gift.

 send pics to  bartcop@bartcop.com

 Also, if you sent a sticker pic that I didn't print, please re-send.

 Quotes

"Before the war...Baghdad had an average of 16 violent deaths a month.
  The latest post-war figure is 667 violent deaths in a month, and that does not include U.S. soldiers."
     --Peter Jennings, proving he's a left-winger  Attribution 

 How Jessica Lynch became a hero

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Heroism is, quite often, a choice to do the right thing when it would be far easier to do nothing at all.

 Private Jessica Lynch could have quite easily have smiled and waved to the cameras and let the money roll in,
 knowing that in a few months, public attention would have moved on and her life would revert to normal,
 or at least as normal as a retired media-created hero can expect to have.

 Reminder:

 If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com

 Can't get in the members section?  Sam can help.

 U.S. Faces Up to $2.2B in EU Sanctions
  Another Texas-sized screw-up by the Pinhead

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The United States is facing up to $2.2 billion in European Union trade sanctions within weeks
 after a WTO appeals panel ruled Monday that U.S. tariffs on imported steel are illegal.

 A three-member WTO panel rejected the bulk of the U.S. appeal of an earlier ruling that said
 the duties of up to 30 percent introduced in March 2002 by Bush breached trade rules.

..
 "Screw Europe! We don't need them.
  We'll trade with China, our friends."

 Veterans Await WW II Memorial in D.C.
  Iraqi War Memorial Due to Open March of 2066

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Tears and pride mix as Navy veteran Ted Burke talks about the National World War II Memorial
 and its significance as a reminder of the sacrifices he and millions of others made.

 Recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, the 83-year-old former torpedoman has made it his life's
 goal to make it to the Memorial Day weekend dedication on the National Mall.

"I hope and pray to the good Lord I'll be there," said Burke of Rehoboth Beach, Del., a former
 commander of the American Legion Department of the District of Columbia.

 His daughter, Teddy Burke, choked back tears and said if her father cannot make it,
 "I'll be there for him, and I'll be the proudest person there."

 Have a good time today.

 Sometimes the peach truck fails to start and you get a second chance.
 Don't waste a day - not one.
 And whatever you do, never quit!

 Shopping online?
 Use this portal and they'll throw  bartcop.com  four cents.

Search Now:

 Read the Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2003, bartcop.com

..
 Shirley - back with the long red/brown hair.
 She downplays her beauty and sexuality, but if they put a nice picture
 of her on the cover of the next CD - I'll bet it will sell extra millions.

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

 bartcop.com  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor.