Many ideas here, not too organized...

To get more subscribers, why not write more of your own opinions and reactions
on your own page?  The last three issues I just read.  I saw articles linked, with
excerpts, and like ONE LINE written by you.

That is a caused by a lack of time.
When I look up and it's 1 PM Central and I've got just a half a page written,
I can either punt like I did Tuesday, or I can fill up the page with news stories.
Koresh knows copying and pasting is easier/faster than writing original stuff.

The Monkey Mail I can do in one take, but most anything else gets re-written
and re-written like in the old days when I did an issue per week.

There are times when I wish I had a schedule that was "I'll post when the issue is ready,"
but that might mean an issue every other day and that may not fly with the subscribers.
 

One article was about Stephen King being sick.  WTF?  Then all you did was say "get well."
Above that was a thousand words about "Survivor."

First, I'm not sure what I could add to the King story.
They expect him to make a full recovery so wishing him well was mostly all I could do.

Second, I'm surprised people don't show more interest in Survivor.
Did you read what I wrote, or did you skip to the next section?
Survivor is almost pure politics.
Some lead, some follow.
Some are loyal, but most are backstabbers.
Sure, it's not 100 percent legit, because CBS can't have people dying on camera,
but these people are mentally and physically exhausted and they're mostly eating
rice and fish which means tempers are flaring and people have to get passed that.
Some of them lose a pound per day, so after 35 days, they are shrinking.

Also, didn't you say I should write more?
After 1200 episodes, it's hard to address issues like guns, abortion and tax cuts
because those things have already been discussed again and again.

If you find no use for Survivor, that's OK.
I don't like country music or English humor, maybe you do.
 

Heh?  I still don't know what Survivor is.

Do you remember the movie The Poseiden Adventure?
After the ship turned upside-down, it became a survivor movie.

Early in the film, people had to make a choice between the priest (Gene Hackman)
and the Purser. The ship was quickly divided into two camps.

I suppose the smart move would be to follow the Purser, but Gene Hackman
convinced a group of people, thru his superior rhetorical skills, to trust that his
way was best.  Most people followed the Purser but a few followed the priest,
and those priest people lived while the Purser group, the majority, all died.

Isn't that a lot like what the voters face every four years in November?
Two camps, each asking for your vote, and your decision will affect your life in ways
you could never imagine at the time.  I see the parallels, and that interests me.
 

One of us does not understand television too well, and here is what I mean.  I do not pay
for cable, because it is GOP propaganda.  That means I don't see Survivor, or Dave, or Jay,
or Queer Eye, or any of that stuff.  All I really miss is Jon Stewart, but even he pulls his
punches to keep his job.

TV brings the good and the bad, kinda like the internet or the telephone.
Survivor is mostly harmless fun, but Queer Eye might be changing America.
The right is very upset that we're seeing five gay men who are friendly and funny
and, for some reason, they have no interest in raping children. The right wants to
keep gays demonized and Queer Eye is showing them for what they are - normal
people that you and I wish were working in our homes  :)
 

And a note about Dave.  He is not funny.  He lost it when he left NBC.  I would leave him
out of the radio shows.  I bet other subscribers are asking:  "Why am I paying to listen
to Dave, when Bart could be smacking His Rotundness, Pigboy, around?"

If you think about it, I don't just play Dave's lame jokes. He's been doing Rush junkie jokes
almost every night, and a lot of "Bush is so stupid that..." skits. I think they're a lot of fun.
...and yes, when he got the $42 million, he stopped being the old Dave and became new Dave.
He even has a regular joke that he does about "The NBC days, back when we were funny."

Remember two shows back, I smacked Bill O'Reilly around for a while?
The reason that worked is because while on Leno, O'Reilly had about eight minutes
to hit eight subjects and there was no time for hours of blustering blather from him.

I tape Rush most days, but since he has three looooong hours to fill, he never gets to the point.
He just muddles around, repeating himself and telling the same dull stories over and over.
Something I'll bet most people don't realize, is that Rush rarely says anything. He'll scream
and moan about Hillary or somebody and then finish by saying, "Some people..."
But after all that yakking, he never stated a point of view beyond the personal slurs.

I'm going to try a new experiment:
I'm going to drive around for an hour while taping Rush.
When he says something extra stupid or racist, I can note the time and look for that segment
when I get back to the house.  If I listen to him live at my computer, I can't hit "Stop" and "Play"
when he says something ugly because he's likely to say something extra ugly in the next breath.
Plus, in K-Drag he's on from 1-4, and by the time I rewind the tape Mrs Bart walks in.
Perhaps my experiment will be successful.
 

But back to the page itself, there is just not enough of you.  For example, Arianna Huffington.
SHE was a WHORE during the Clinton impeachment.  She was no help to Al Gore in October 2000
(nobody was, except maybe Al Franken).  These upscale liberals like Arianna have the same silver
spoon problem as Bush.  Shove her silver spoon, call her a "fair weather liberal," or something worse.
It MIGHT even prompt Arianna to write to you, and maybe offer an interview.  I would bash Arianna for,
again, being NO HELP to Gray Davis by not mentioning the Enron Rape of California when she was a
candidate AGAINST the recall.

I agree that Arianna lost a lot of credibility when she decided the voter's wishes were something
she could easily dismiss, but she's not in the Top 20 problems this country has.
 

But I would say more Bart, less of these cartoons I don't recognize, and take on some of these
fair-weather liberals.  Molly Ivins?  Never heard of her.  BartCop?  I've heard of him.

The cartoons are just mortar between bits.  They are the mashed potatos* to the page's turkey foundation.
I know you don't watch The Sopranos, but I don't like the family problems and Meadow's boyfriend problems,
but they can't just do one mob rubout scene after another and still have a show. The best parts are like the time
when Tony had to strangle a guy while he was showing his daughter around a college campus she was interested in.
The mixture is what makes the show. Besides, cartoons are the one area the liberals seem to own outright.
The closest the right has to a talented cartoonist is that incredibly unfunny Mallard Fillmore.  Fillmore goes for a
political point but it never makes you laugh, so he's lost. When a toon makes you  laugh out loud, the artist did his job.
 

PROFANITY

I would use more, lots more.  If you are just going to write one line after a long excerptby some idiot
reporter, say something like "There's another fucker who would rather write about THAT than write
about Bush damn, fucking lies that got us at war with 1.8 billion Muslims."  I doubt you need any more
coaching with the swearing, but too many reporters report on silly shit.

I try to use profanity only when I'm legitimately angry. The older issues had a lot more anger, because
when I was only publishing once a week, I could get pissed off at something a dozen times that week.
I don't want to manufacture outrage.
 

Anthrax killer?  Still on the loose.  He targeted two Demo's, the State Department,
and the media.  Sounds like a GOP job to me.  Why ain't it a headline EVERYWHERE?

Good point, and why haven't the Democrats constantly pointed out that it was always OUR side that the
bad guys tried to kill?  I wonder - if the killer actually killed a Democrat, would they raise their voice then?
 

Tax cuts for rich people who aren't hiring?  REPEAL THE TAX cuts NOW.  They can all DO that NOW
and get the economy back on track.  Front page stuff.  The rich can get some tax cuts AFTER they hire
some people, AFTER.  You have to EARN a tax cut, not bribe the GOP to get one.

I'm with you on that - I mention those job-killing tax cuts almost constantly.
Have you read The BartCop Tax Plan?

Bush IS impeachable, as that one caller said.  Lied to get us unto a war.  That, along with hiding the 9/11
documents, and not doing squat about the antrhax killer, all a pattern of deception which is abuse of power, so... Impeach!
Why isn't this stuff front page news every day, everywhere?

If the Democrats would fight back, it would make the news, but the papers can't run "Bush steamrolls Dems again,"
every day that they publish. We can win the 2004 race if we ewant to, but so far only Dean and Clark want to.
 

Because reporters are fucking pricks.  Even the non-affiliated ones, even some left-leaning ones.  I would not call Conason
a prick, but I'd say:  "Hey, Joe, which of these 9/11 theories do you believe, and update us on the anthrax killer."

Hold on - there are so few columnists who tell the truth, we should treat the few with respect.
 

Maybe you've been too busy elsewhere, but "outrage" and "BartCop" usually go together.
Not much outrage about much lately.

If that's true, it might be another casualty of the Lucy-at-the-candy-factory pace I try to keep.
I don't have a chance to look at back issues or spot trends or whatever. I look up and the clock
is ticking and I hurry to get another issue up. That would be a good job for someone on the
imaginary staff I wish I had - spotting trends and stuff.
 

The anthrax case really gets me.  There was an investigation, and it was narrowed down to like 30
or 40 scientists at Fort Detrick.  ARREST 'EM ALL!

I realize I'm a broken record here, but if the Democrats won't raise their voice, why should anyone bother?
The Democrats are such timid sheep, they don't mind  when an attempt is made on their f-ing lives.
No wonder they don't mind losing their jobs if they don't mind attempts to murder them.  You see, they love
George Bush and it wouldn't be right to raise their voice and say "Catch the Anthrax Killer, or are you
waiting for him to succeed in murdering a few Democrats before you start your goddamn investigation?

Oh, God of Abraham, Father of the Winds and Keeper of the Seasons, how did I get in a party of pitiful sheep?
 

BEAT UP PIGBOY and the WHORE MEDIA more

Lots more.  I chose BartCop because it is not whore media, and because you and I hate Rush.
You pick on USA Today on the radio shows, just not enough.  I'd start:  "I'm reading this fuckin' rag USA Today,
and, before I go to the toilet, I'd like to coment on this one article here...by some PRICK reporter..."

In a perfect world, I would have enough money to hire an intern or assistant to record each Pugboy show
and then that person would send me the five or ten best clips that demand a response. It's always possible
my drive-around idea will yield results, but you realize Rush doesn't sit there with a recorder and tape
every speech by every Democrat so he can beat them up on his next show. He has an entire team of
producers and helpers who organize clips that he can click on and respond.  I wish I had a team. 
 

And we ALL hate Rush.  Why ain't he in JAIL?  I hate the fact that Rush ain't in jail.  I hope he relapses,
I really do.  I hope he O.D.'s, I really do.  Maybe that makes me more evil than you, or something, but that's
the kind of shit I'd like to see on  bartcop.com: wishes that PigBoy O.D.'s or gets raped in jail.

I agree that this side of McVeigh and Atta, Rush is about as bad a human being as you can get.
Rush has hundreds of millions of dollars and in America, that means he's not guilty.
And if by some miracle he's found guilty and sentenced, Bush and Ashcroft would finally unveil
their "compassionate" side and pardon the hateful son of a bitch.
 

MORE HATE, LESS HUMOR

I think you're funnier when you're way out there hacking with foul language.
Or when you sound really pissed off, or desperate about something.  "This Medicare
RAPE Bill that just passed is going to FUCK OVER a most seniors.  Shit!  I'm gonna be a
senior soon!  Leave it to that bastard Bush to pick on more old ladies.  That bastard pervert.
He raped a teen a long time ago, now it's old ladies?  That's just sick."

I dunno, it's a fine line.  What I just wrote was vulgar but not so funny.  But all the big name comics
swear their asses off.  Vulgarity is funny.  Vulgar speech is funny, vulgar racism is not, so, no you
would not be bringing yourself down to Vulgar PigBoy's level.

To tell the truth, I don't know anything about the Medicare bill except that the Democrats caved in
once again to the Bush bastard and I know he's out to help the white, super-rich and that's all.
If Bush is for it, I'm against it.

RUSH

That asshole is still tying Iraq to 9/11?
If he does it every day, call him on it every day.

I appreciate your frank advice.
One of my many problems is since I can't watch people reading the page, I don't know what's working.
I have no idea what I'm hammering to death or not hammering enough, and mail like yours gives me some
measure of gauging the reader's reactions. I'm sure you don't speak for everyone, but I appreciate hearing
your opinions.
 

SEPTEMBER 11

I hate to say it, but I want to know who did 9/11.  Every radio show, or at least every web page, should just
ask the questions:  "Governor Bush, who all was involved in 9/11? What are you hiding and why can't you tell us?
Who are we at war with?  And DON'T say Osama; he's still free and he ain't done shit."

...and wouldn't it be nice if the majority was reprensented in Washington?
It's my opinion Clark and Dean want to know more about 9-11, but we have to get them elected, first.
 

Bart, maybe you had a rough week, I dunno.  President Blood, and his pet pig Rush, got off easy
over the last few BartCop issues.  Those two are Hitler and Goebbels reincarnated.

I believe you are the first to say I'm not tough enough on those two.
 

I guess what I am saying is that sex, shock, hate, and profanity sell.
Just look at all the shit on TV and radio.  It's all confrontational, sometimes with humor.

Well, as long as I'm making excuses for myself, let me remind you and other readers that it's hard to be
confrontational when a suitable opponent can't be found.  I print almost all Monkey Mail I find because
answering that is damn entertaining for me. There are a few things more fun than putting my boots in
some ditto-monkey ass. I think that's what works best, but I need more Monkey mail.
 

I won't drop my tiny subscription, but I might start reading  whatreallyhappened.com  instead, for a while.
I always saw more scathing articles there, and I could send you links to them if I get around to it.

That would be good for me.
Send me their interesting articles.
 

I just gotta help out my dad.  His money allows me to subscribe.  I gotta get his new computer hooked up,
get him some kind of ISP, and get him reading your page.  He really likes your radio shows.

Consider marc@perkel.com to do your hosting. He's the best

Bart, we drink because these are HORRIBLE times.  Have a few shots on me and just rant like a madman.
My guess is you will get more subscribers if you post under the influence.  I don't know why subscribers are
suddenly leaving, but if they are leaving over profanity, they are pink tutu types anyway.  Hex on them,
let them vote for Gephart in the primaries.

ha ha
I am tempted to do an "influence" show.
I was always "under" when hosting the big after parties for the bands.
I have wondered how well that would translate to what I'm doing now.
 

I would even (no, it's not my page) but I would even do "Hex On Thee!" to anyone reading who is not a subscriber.
Hex on the readers who don't even do a one-time $10 donation.

There are many readers who are struggling to pay utility bills and rent.
I can't put a hex on the little guy trying to put food on his family.
The hex is far too powerful to use unwisely :)

I hope there's a good idea in here somewhere.

I bet, just like the Demo's, most readers are saving their money for 2004.
Just tell them "There might not BE a BartCop.com in November, 2004.  It's that bad!"

The truth is, it's not that bad.
I didn't mean to imply I was starving, but it's true that if I lose fifty subscribers, I feel it's
important to find 50 to replace them to maintain a buffer against things being that bad.

Just...LIE!  Say your car got stolen, or something.  lol.  Lying works!

Thanks,
Kym

Well, we have a giant crack in the foundation that runs thru the living room.
I hear those are expensive, but these days everything is.

Wish me luck, and thanks for being "frank."

  back to  bartcop.com