Not
such a super power after all
Poll shows world falling out of love with America
Excerpt:
Even the ambition is gargantuan. Only an
American pollster like Pew would
ask 38,000 people in 44 countries what
they think of America. Only a superpower
would try to take the world's temperature
thus. The trouble is - when you hold
their thermometer up to the light - the
reading that comes back says this power
isn't so super after all.
Quotes
"Sometimes, Washington is one of these towns
where the person -- people
who think they've got the sharp elbow
is the most effective person."
--Dubya, New Orleans, proving a sharp elbow
beats a sharp mind
Subject: BartCop mention on Hannazi's show
I called in at the end of the first hour.
He had asked for libs to call in and say
what they'd do if robbers broke in.
I got into a shoutfest with him, and when I got
the feeling he was heading towards dumping
me off the line, I said people need to
go to mediawhoresonline, buzzflash.com,
BartCop.com, and as he was trying to
dump me off, I got in BartCop.com a second
time, more clearly, I think, and said
(to his 12 million viewers) that they've
got to read BartCop today.
I taped it, I could make you an MP3 if
you'd be interested.
Yeah, that would be great - send that on
So, I hope that was a good thing to do.
Keep up the good work.
Junglebook.
Junglebook, no, that was a great thing to do.
I look forward to hearing it
Subject: Let's buy W a blowjob!
Why don't all Bartcop readers chip in $10 and buy George W a blowjob?
Otherwise he'll keep trying to prove he's
a real man by bombing Iraq
while ignoring Osama, and by having John
Poindexter read all our mail.
The man needs to get laid.
Politico60
Let's take a look at the good news:
1. It would be a lot cheaper than war.
The Pentagon estimates $2 trillion on year-long
attack and occupation.
2. Nobody on either side would die, unless Smirk handles oral sex like he handles pretzels.
3. It would take minutes instead of years.
4. Cleanup would just take a few seconds, and there wouldn't be
thousands of
uranium-tipped shells laying around for the
Iraqi children to play with.
Let's take a look at the bad news:
The B.F.E.E. can make more money from war than peace,
so war it is!
But if Pickles would do her wifely duties, she could help take
that edge off...
Pickles Bush (on the
right)
Man's
10,000-year Annual Performance Review
by Mike Subversive
Excerpt:
Man: So how do You think it's going?
God: Don't make Me laugh. It's a
horror show. 10,000 freaking years
and you can't get past jealousy, vanity, greed and revenge. Do you
know how many people have been killed in all of the wars in the
entire world during the last 10,000 years?
Man: No, how many?
God: Everybody. At least twice.
Subject: The "personal responsibility" president
BC:
Don't I remember the MORON in Chief telling
us all about "personal responsibility" during his
campaign to position himself for global
domination? His MORONIC policies have brought on the worst
economy in the last 10 years, and the biggest
downturn in my lifetime-so what does he do?-he fires
two of his "yes" men. Now he'll install
two more "yes" men (and the Democrats will, of course, affirm
these appointments) to carry out the exact
same policies (but possibly an additional tax cut for the
super rich, and a higher payroll tax for
the rest of us).
Meanwhile, the MORON says that if Saddam
says he doesn't have any WMDs, he's lying and we'll go
to war. If Saddam says he does have
WMDs, he's in violation to the MORON's interpretation of the
UN order, and we'll go to war. Well
at least we'll have plenty of unemployed young men with nothing
else to do but go to Iraq and secure more
oily profits for MORON, Cheney, and Poppy.
I'm still wondering if Osama's on the payroll
too.
Well, good thing he's not getting any blowjobs.
That would cause America to lose the respect
of the rest of the world.
Oh, wait a minute… oh, yeah…
Jim Higdon
Jim, try to remember - sex is bad, war is good.
Subject: Total information awareness
BC:
You recently had an image attributed to
Bruce Yurgil of the Total Information Awareness logo.
Unbelievably, that logo is the real logo
of the office:
http://www.darpa.mil/iao/index.htm
Scary shit, huh?
Snabby
Yeah, and I'm catching hell for it. Bruce sent it to me,
and he does professional quality art,
so I assumed it was his latest work and I posted it as his.
It was so damn creepy, I thought
he was making an exxaggerated statement that this is how bad
things have gotten - but it's true!
You'd think a nightmare like Bush would be comedy gold, but the
stuff they do is so outrageous,
there's no room to exxaggerate anything. The truth just
isn't that funny.
Subject: Wired magazine's "credibility"
Bart,
Wired was instrumental in starting the
lie that Gore had said he "invented" the internet,
and they never fully retracted the lie,
just made some mumbling excuses about 18 months later.
Excerpt:
Al Gore's timing was as unfortunate as
his boast. Just as Republicans were beginning to
eye the 2000 presidential race in earnest,
the vice president offered up a whopper of a
tall tale in which he claimed to have invented
the Internet.
Margaret the Ram's fan.
So, Wired is another Salon.com?
Is there not any credibility left in the American electronic
or print media these days?
Good thing we have bartcop.com
PS. Sorry about your Rams :)
Is it cold where you are?
front
back
Click to order
A "Bush Pretzel" sweatshirt from
BartCop
Store No 5 would keep you warm.
Subject: Maybe I'm Amazed
First off, the song is called "MAYBE I'm
Amazed", not "Baby, I'm Amazed."
The album it's from, simply called "McCartney"
was his first solo record, and he played
ALL the instruments and did all the vocals,
apart from some vocals from Linda.
From Amazon.com
"Paul's first solo outing is very much a homegrown
affair with him singing and playing
everything (apart from a few harmonies
by Linda)..."That Would Be Something,"
"Man We Was Lonely," "The Lovely Linda,"
and "Teddy Boy" all make the grade,
but everything is eclipsed by "Maybe I'm
Amazed," which remains one of his most
enduring songs, up there with anything
the Beatles released."
-Great King Rat
...and this, from Lorenda
Bart, Paul really honestly played all of
the instruments on that album.
The solo is pretty rudimentary and should
be manageable by most guitarists.
Yes, but poor Rude Rich is from Jersey, and has only been playing
guitar about 22 years.
He's still trying to get the hang of that "rudi" stuff.
Weekend Sports Round-Up
With its new security, Oklahoma safely made it to the Colorado
game and won, 29-7.
Georgia had roast pork at the Peach Dome Saturday, embarrassing
the Razorbacks 30-3.
#1 Miami had 45 scored on them, but they still beat Va
Tech by 6.
The Chiefs ran right past Margaret's Rams 49-10.
PittsburgH lost to Idle
do more
But the game of the week had to be the 49ers boyhandling Dallas.
San Fran QB Jeff Garcia teased the Cowboys like a slut
in a short skirt, letting them think they
had a chance all day. Then, while Dallas was busy searching for
the Gatorade bucket to dump
on Coach Fuzzyhead, Garcia struck like a cobra with a bolt of
lightning (mixed metaphor, there)
finding Terrell Owens under the goalpost rolling a fattie with
just twelve seconds left in the game!
Woo Hoo!
I jumped outta my La-Z-Boy and did my victory dance and didn't spill a drop of Chinaco!
Dallas lost, so that means it was a fine, fine weekend!
But that's not all!!!
Sunday at 4:58 Oklahoma time, Mr Perfect needs a miracle
putt to win.
I jumped up outta my La-Z-Boy and screamed "Hex
on Thee! Hex on Thee! Hex on Thee!"
three times, scaring the cats (and Mrs. Bart, who should be used
to it by now).
ha ha
He got a bogey, his first of the day, right after my booster hex!
ha ha
Tiger Woo drops his club in a wild, spastic swing
as he tries to
catch winner Padraig Harrington at the Target World Challenge.
"It was awful,"
Tiger whined. "As I approached 18, I felt
a wave
of dread wash over me, like there was
a hex on me of some kind.
I just lost my cool and blew it. I wish
I knew what was wrong.
I used to be the best - and now I'm
just another golfer..."
Also, The Rio Trial is tonight - it got postponed
again (my fault).
I hope they didn't take it as a sign of weakness, but I'm ready
for them.
I believe I have constructed a box from which they cannot escape.
...but even if they do, I'll ask a small claims judge for a second opinion.
From: JCarpentie
Subject: pathetic
Pretty pathetic liberal shit you're spewing.
Maybe when you grow up you'll see the truth.
JCarpentie
JC, the liberal shit I spew is not pathetic.
It's the best liberal shit I can dream up.
Hey, you wouldn't be guy to shut me up in a debate, would you?
I know my stalkers would like to see that.
Do you have any free time between now and the end of time?
I don't think it would take long at all, and you can't get hurt
if
you're safe in your own home, hiding behind your monitor, right?
I'm off all this week, so I'll make you this special deal:
I'll do a shot of tequila every five minutes while we debate.
If you can rope-a-dope for an hour, you'll have me at a disadvantage,
right?
C'mon, do the KKK, Fox News and Rush a favor and kick my rhetorical
ass.
(Geez, I'd pay to see that my own self.)
...or do you not have time to waste, straightening out a guy like me?
Law
Cancels Appearance at Weekly Boston Mass
He's afraid to face his own parishoners - how can he stay?
Excerpt:
Hundreds of protesters gather outside a
Boston Cathedral on December 8, calling for the resignation
of Cardinal Law. Recently released church
documents reveal that he knew priests were sexually
abusing parishioners and simply reassigned
them to other posts.
You talk about a monster!
How many dozens or possibly hundreds of rapes occured
because of this ugly fraud?
And all the time, those little boys were being told to perform
or they'd burn in hell.