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is finally here!!!
Show
22 is up - this time Hannity
gets the boot.
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Quotes
"From Lincoln to Nixon, our leaders have always
paid respects to the dead heroes and consoled the living...
George W. Bush, our president who wants
everyone to know he is the commander in chief, has yet to attend
a single funeral for any of the soldiers
he sent off to die for our country...I can hear the Bush re-election
machine chirping, "As long as the president
doesn't attend any funerals -- as long as he isn't pictured next to
a soldier's casket or consoling a grieving
widow -- then it's America's war, not his." That's it in a nutshell;
Bush doesn't go to service members'
funerals because it's not good for his re-election campaign."
--Philip S. Manson,
Attribution
Excerpt:
Something ominous is happening when the
United States reports its biggest surge in productivity
in 20 years, as it did Wednesday, and yet
the dollar plunges to an all-time low against the euro.
The dollar is sinking these days on good
news and bad, and the explanation is pretty simple:
Investors around the world are worried
that the Bush administration's policies are eroding the
value of the U.S. currency. So they're
rushing to unload greenbacks, in what could soon
become a full-blown financial crisis.
"The dollar crisis is the story," warns James
Harmon, an investment banker who headed the
Export-Import Bank during the Clinton administration.
"A lot of smart money has moved out
of the dollar in the last six months,"
he explains. "Now the latecomers are rushing to sell, and
that's adding to the momentum."
Right after Clinton won the election - before
he had even had a chance to take the oath,
economists said we had an extra-good Christmas
because they knew help was on the way.
After he was swore in, Wall Street saw he
was paying down the deficit. This gave them
some incentive to bet on America, and others
flocked to bet on America, too.
The reverse is true about the wild-spending
Chimp.
Wall Street is afraid to bet on him because
he brought back the Reag-Bush decifits.
And other countries certainly won't bet
on America because what have we become?
An out-of-control bully who nobody can
stop from stealing the world's assets.
This will continue until America gets the vote back from the Supreme Court.
Quotes
"Some of the other members of the NASCAR champion
crew are here, as well.
Where are they, Robbie? Where are the
members of your crew?
Well, they musta couldn't pass
the security check."
--Moron, White House, Dec.
2, 2003 Attribution
I just thought of something:
If he's this stupid straight and sober, what was he like drunk
and coked up?
Cheering for the turkey and stuffing body bags
Excerpt:
Repeatedly through the long holiday weekend
we saw the president holding a great platter of turkey and trimmings,
dressed up like a GI Joe doll in some kind
of nonregulation Army jacket, posing for pictures, bravely facing a fusillade
of flashbulbs triggered by the adoring
kids he sent to risk their lives. Then he left them and came home. They
didn't.
They are still there today. The cameras
are gone but some of them are dying, out of reach of a photo op - a quiet
trickle
of death, a little at a time. Bush and
his turkey filled the news hole on C- SPAN. Pictures of kids in Walter
Reed, without
their legs, is not Thanksgiving fare. And
when the kids die and come back home in flag-draped coffins, the cameras
that
courted George W. Bush turn their backs,
by order, on the caskets. And we - a lot of us in America - don't care."
Bush says all those limbs are gone and all those men are dead
and all that flesh is burned because he have to fight terra.
That's what he says...
Excerpt:
Bush lifted tariffs on foreign steel Thursday,
choosing to face the wrath of steelworkers in states key
to his re-election rather than risk a global
trade war. Bush imposed the tariffs in March 2002.
They were to continue until 2005. But the
WTO ruled that they violated global trade agreements.
It authorized the European Union, Japan
and other countries to retaliate with duties on U.S. products.
The 15-nation EU was set to hit $2.2 billion
worth of U.S. goods exported to Europe - including citrus,
apparel, rice and apples - with penalties
on Dec. 15. Japan also had threatened sanctions.
...but the crazy Chimp still declared victory,
and the networks and newspapers and Nazi talk radio
will echo that false message until a majority
of people too busy to get into the news believes it.
Too bad there are no Demnocrats ion capitol
Hill who feel like speaking out.
Can we erase the whole lot of them and
replace them with Democrats willing to work?
Marty's
Entertainment Page
A special bonus 'Disinfotainment Today' presents 'Zen Bastard'
by Paul Krassner
'Louisiana Live' (http://www.louisianalive.net)
probes Chimpy's National Guard record today @ 3:05 - 3:30pm
(CST)
Fresh BAGnews
A complete list of all Grammy nominations
'A Barry Manilow Christmas: Live By Request' on A&E tonight
(Oh, pinch me - I must be dreaming!)
The movie that made Hitler ban MGM on TCM tonight
Bill Clinton & Jim Brady
Jack & Diane
Cable news ratings rebounding
Carson's Goodyear Blimp crash
Oetzi has his own igloo
And, David Hemmings
Bart, at 12:00 minutes into Show 22-c, you said:
> Where else but Hannity can you find a bunch of sexual deviants?
Um...Bartcop Chat?
Tim H
ha ha
is up and it's our best show ever!
Tommy made my Rush's ear into a silk purse.
I'll put a sample online if I ever get this page finished.
Retailers say start of season not jolly
Excerpt:
It's official: The start of the holiday
shopping season was lukewarm, casting a shadow over
the critical final quarter for retailers.
While sales were solid for the Thanksgiving weekend, the
ceremonial kickoff of the holiday season,
sales for the full month of November were hardly robust.
November sales at stores open at least a
year, a key measure of growth, were up a modest 3.2%,
show data from retailers released Thursday
by sales-tracker Redbook. That was a turnaround from
the 1.6% November decline that opened
last year's season but brought gains for the year to just 2.2%.
How does a story like this get printed in an American newspaper?
Didn't they get Mr Rove's memo?
The media is supposed to lie and cover for the never-elected
chump.
Somebody will be tied to a treat and whipped for this.
Subject: Subscriber opinion
Hey,
Frankly, Bart, I don't think you are treated
very well by your 'supposed' fans. What is everyone's deal?
Granted I have only been reading your blog
since toostupidtobepresident stole his way into the white house, so I can't
attest to the quality of your columns in
the 90's. I read your column every day. It makes me laugh and
feel slightly
reassured that SOMEBODY is taking to these
rat bastards. But, if you don't post that day, I go on with my life.
Hey, I'll drink to that.
Your initial radio broadcasts were rough,
but hell, you're doing them out of your home. BCR is steadily improving.
If the new Democratic radio network were
smart, they would offer you and Malloy a job. My fear is they'll
be
'Daschle-like', i.e. timid. Probably
steal Alan Colmes from the Fascist News Network and put him on.
To tell the
Koresh's honest truth?
I sincerely thought the radio gig would
consist of hooking up a $40 microphone to my Gates-Mobile,
and suddenly I'd be DJ Boy.
It was another bartcop.com error.
I love her and I'll never forget her question,
when Lynn asked, "Bart, you say your bad-ass
expensive,
multi-channel mixing board has 99 buttons
and slides? Would any of them be labeled ...'Volume'?"
ha ha
There was no need for a sarcasm button
that
day.
Sometimes you're profane, sometimes vulgar,
sometimes over the top, always Bart. Just means you are human
like the rest of us with good days, bad
days, ups and downs. Don't understand folks who say 'I didn't
like what you
wrote so I'm never reading you again'
or
'I didn't like what you said so I'm canceling my 10cents/d subscription.'
That's the difference between us and the
repugs.
As an owner of 2.5 establishments that served
alcohol to the public, I'm rarely surprised by human nature but yes,
some arguments are beyond me. If somene
writes and says,
"I hate Shirley and her
music," I would feel sorry
for the pleasure that the writer would
miss due to his miscalculation, but I wouldn't have an obsession to call
him
a "faggot" because they had different musical
tastes than me.
Progressives go off on tangents and repugs
stay on point. Guess I'm going on a tangent now.
What would make me cancel my subscription?
If you started drifting rightward. If you were a
right-winger, you'd probably be rolling
in the cash, with Asian hookers coming to your room for free sex
(can you believe that sh*t? The BFEE
gets a free pass again).
It boils down to this: I enjoy reading your
columns as long as you enjoy writing them, whenever they are posted.
Daily, every other day, weekly, biweekly,
monthly, whatever.
GRT
Another Day in Headache City
So I'm working on Friday's page, when my mouse refuses to copy
- so I can't paste.
I'd scroll over a paragraph, and it would either let me have
the first half or the second half,
but no way, even after repeat re-boots and a defrag would it
ler me copy anything.
Fortunately, a very generous reader named Randy, who works
for Microsoft, sent me
a copy of Windows XP Pro, so I installed that and that problem
went away.
But for some reason, it wiped out my sound drivers, so I can't
hear anything and I certainly
can't record anything. That gives me a headache.
I'll try some things, but odds are I'll have to buy another sound
card which is OK because
they only cost $200 dollars that I've already spent once,
and that gives me a second headache.
You thought I was kidding when I said I needed a full-time tech
person on-site. If the new
sound card doesn't work, I may have to to fly Tommy back to Tulsa
and feeding him and
keeping him in Jack Black with Diet Coke is expensive.
I'll tell you, it's enough to force
the creation of another Bart's
Law.
Bart's
Law #4
Nothing is easy.
If you discover that you need a $3 extension
cord from Wal-Mart, I guarantee it will take you
days to get it and it will cost
over a thousand dollars. First, you get in your car to go to the
stupid Wal-Mart, but the car doesn't start
so a friend gives you a ride to Sears where you
buy a new Diehard battery, but your car
still won't start. So you pay AAA to drag the lifeless
sled to a mechanic who says you need a
new starter, but the local supplier is out until Monday
so you have to rely on your friend to take
you to work tomorrow.
Monday comes and the mechanic says he got
slammed over the weekend and it'll be Tuesday
before you can get your car back. So Tuesday
that same friend who's been so helpful gives you
another ride to the mechanic. You thank
him as he drives away just before the mechanic tells you
they sent the wrong starter but he can
have your car ready by Wednesday if the ignorant bastard
at Pep Boys sends the right starter this
time.
Wednesday they finally get the car started,
but the mechanic says your timing belt is about to break
and if it does, you'll need a new engine.
So you pay him another $900 for a new timing belt because
if you don't, a new timing belt and
a new engine is going to set you back about $2800.
All you wanted was a damn $3 extension cord from Wal-Mart, and you're already $1200 in debt.
This is what life is like for most people,
but a super-rich bastard like George Bush doesn't know that.
He grew up thinking, "If my blue Lexus
won't start, I'll just take the red one and tell that spic who's
married to the upstairs maid to have
the car fixed and send the bill to the B.F.E.E. bookkeepers."
He's never worked a day in his gold-plated
life and he's got no idea what it's like to have to earn a paycheck
because he was born super-rich on third
base. The idea that he should be appointed the most powerful man
on the planet by his daddy's rich friends
is just another day in the life of the man who giggles when he
murders someone. ...but you and I
know that nothing is easy in this world.
Subject: He laughed, I cried
When I read this quote in yesterday's issue from the badly burned soldier:
> ...did he want to find a girl (he's only 20)
and get married and he laughed
> and said, "Sure, but she'll have to love me
for what's inside because
> there's not much outside to be attracted to."
It made the pain much more personal.
I sat at my computer and cried.
I have never been so deeply effected by
a line on a computer screen.
And I've never hated the entire Bush Team
more.
Just voting him out isn't enough, he must
be held accountable.
NB
When you see the soldier's brave reaction
to their destroyed lives, how can you not
ask yourself, "Was
their sacrifice worth the extra safety America has from terrorism?"
We're no safer than we were on 9-12-01, but the BFEE is billions or trillions richer from this war.
Some day someone will ask,
"Bart, what's the one thing
that everyone should take away from a visit to your page?"
The answer is...
Bart's
Law #2
Any time a person or entity makes
a "mistake" that puts extra money in their pocket,
expect them to make that "mistake" again and again
and again.
Each time America is "forced" to defend themselves, a shit-load of brave men die and the BFEE get richer
Some day someone will ask,
"But Bart, what's the defense against that?
First, you don't allow a never-worked-a-day-in-his-life
Chimp to have that kind of life and death responsibility.
Second, if his greedy daddy is heavily
betting long on war, the son will deliver to please his dad
because
he won't worry so much about the thousands
of families destroyed by death, amputation or burnt flesh.
If I was smarter, I could deliver an estimate
of the dead-to-billions ratio that exists between America's finest
being
put thru the meat grinder and the
billions
the B.F.E.E. has reaped from Dubya's fake war. And lest we
forget, when
president murder-and-giggle had a chance
to kill Charlie in Vietnam, he chose
to desert, drink, snort and screw, instead.
America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now.
We can't fight alone against this monster
I'm certainly no John Lennon,
but I have blisters on my fingers.
Quotes
"On Thanksgiving Day, over a turkey, a relative
told me that George W. Bush had gone to Iraq.
"Great!" I said. "That's marvelous!" But then
my spirits sank. It turned out he was coming back.
To show you the miserable shape the
country is in, the president's grandstand, hot-dog, two-hour
photo-op in Baghdad silenced the Democrats
for three whole days. Alas, there may be no hope
for the Democrats. They didn't have
enough bulge in their Jockey shorts to brand Bush's visit
what it was: a cheap publicity stunt."
--Dick Feagler,
Cheering
for the turkey and stuffing body bags
Picking
a winner
by Molly Ivins
Excerpt:
No one has been waiting with bated breath
for me to make up my mind about the Demo candidates,
but I have, and you might be interested
in how I got there. I'm for Howard Dean -- because he's going to win.
Dean gives a hell of a speech -- even if
you're Republican, you should go and hear him just for the experience.
But I fretted about Dean on TV -- TV is
so important. How could anyone poker up on Margaret Carlson of PBS,
not one of the world's toughest interviewers?
But then I saw Dean laugh his way through a Chris Matthews interview
(which he should have done with Tim Russert,
who was hell-bent on gotcha questions), and I know the guy can take
care of himself. So he fights back if you
get in his face -- that's not all bad.
Great Christmas Gifts
Quotes
"I honestly believe that global warming is
the greatest single hoax perpetrated on the American people.
We're talking about protecting a little
minnow that I bait my hook with. These far-left, environmental
extremist groups have moved in and have
a lock on these Democrats."
-- Oklahoma's biggest embarrassment,
Jim Inhofe (R-Pissquik) Attribution
Reminder:
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
Update
Tally the Weather Vixen has solved all the problems I could find.
She's finishing a five year stint as a customer supporterette,
and she
knew everything and she knew what to do so now we're back
on track.
Rush says good-looking women are stoopid, but we know that's not true.
Thanks Tally.
............................................
Click to Enter
Kerry: Bush administration arrogant, reckless
Excerpt:
"I fear that in the run-up to the 2004 election
the administration is considering what is tantamount
to a cut-and-run strategy," he said. Prospects
for success on the ground in Iraq, he said, would be
far greater if the civilian administrator,
Paul Bremer, and the Coalition Provisional Authority were
replaced by a U.N. special representative.
But they might not play ball with Bush's Enron accounting of Iraq's
oil.
They also might find out that $87B went right into Houston, instead
of Iraq.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was..
times 442
....this issue it's
times 444
More Americans lives snuffed out by the
Bush gangster's theft of the White House.
Soon - we'll be at 500, and then 800 and then 1000.
Will the Democrats be willing to fight for their country next
November?
Or will they just hand it to Bush on their knees, like they did
in 2000 and 2002?
..
I'm the only serious candidate.
Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring
'em On": 237
239
From: http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
Plus, at least 2496.....
2504 wounded for Bush's illegal
oil grab.
Many of them are missing arms, legs, eyes and their memories
from head wounds.
Oh, and the burn victims will make your heart sink.
From: http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html
How much more are we willing to tolerate?
December sticker placement contest!
..
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers
within 48 hours.
The stickers are free, but donations
are
accepted.
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
......
Click
Here for the best November stickers
Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or your
choice of a subscription
to Maxim
Magazine (Maxim has no nudity) or any similarly priced
book or magazine.
Send sticker pics to bartcop@bartcop.com
The question is,
"If we went to every other day, would that cause you to reduce or
cancel your subscription?"
Click Here to give me your opinion, non-subscribers are certainly welcome to send opinions, too.
Update:
I got fewer positive e-mails than I expected.
I never know what to expect.
I think I have a total of six e-mails expressing opinions about
the new, slicked up BartCop Radio,
but when I asked who Jon Stewart was doing, I got over 200 replies,
so one just doesn't know.
Here's one e-mail I got about yesterday's question.
Subject: What the hell--s**t on your readers because of no subscription? F**k that!
By the way, this is from a good friend. Often, I write to provoke
but sometimes I don't.
It always surprises me to get mail like this when I'm not expecting
any trouble.
You got a lot of balls, Bart.
I have offered my services repeatedly over
the last three years in regard to your 'staff'.
And, I offered my services pro bono,
gratis, por nada!
Now the 'subscribers only' have your ear?
Fuck that shit man!
If I ever find a spare hundred bucks or
so, I'll certainly subscribe, but with this economy, my unemployment
and my wife's fixed income--I'm in no better
fucking financial shape than you are--credit card debt and all!
Don't forget your fucking reader-base paco,
and don't give short-shrift to the poor folks who support you
without subscriptions--like those who might
volunteer to help your overworked ass out!
I still offer my services as a news-reader,
editor, proof-reader, etc. gratis.
And, I expect a response.
GF
GF, my good friend...
Perhaps that could've been worded better but, as always, I was
in a hurry.
We have to be realists and admit that I can't do the page without
any income.
If I lose 50 non-subscribers, I feel bad, but I can still produce
a page the next day.
If I lose 50 subscribers, panic sets in and Vic the racist's
face pops into my head.
(Just for the record, I can't get my old job back.)
If I lose a lot of subscribers, the page shuts down and I'm trying
to prevent that.
That's not close to happening, but how close should I
be before I sound the alarm?
I appreciate your offers to help, and Sam is working on "staff"
ideas, but so far
I haven't figured out a way to make things work that way.
Maybe we could make you the BartCop Ambassador of Good Will.
(That was a joke to lessen the tension.)
So, let me ask you a direct question: Would you rather see a collection
of links every day
or would you prefer more original, thought-out writing on an
every-other-day basis?
It's hard to write a lot when time is your enemy
If you know a third, workable option, let me know.
By the way, what kind of response were you expecting?
Our first December sticker pic.
If you sent a sticker pic I didn't use, please re-send it.
Bart, David Cicilline is mayor of Providence, RI, openly gay and proudly
liberal.
Love ya, Tina W.
Subject: Subscriber feedback
Bart,
Just wanted to let you know how much I
LOVE the page and the radio and I don't regret for one nanosecond the $120.
We've got a lot in common, 50 this year,
education at the feet of ruler-wielding penguins, lots of anger at the
repugs
for stealing the election, their all-encompassing
greed and hypocrisy, and a loathing for any football team with a star
on their silver helmets, but I'd never
feel comfortable telling you how to run your enterprise.
You're offering a product and a damn fine
one. One I'm happy to support. One I look forward to EVERY day.
But if there's less of you on the page
so we can get the radio going, so be it. If you need to cut back a little
for
sanity's sake, so be it. I'll still
be there for you.
One of the evils of the Internet is the
power it has given so many people to express every thought that comes into
their mind about everything. As Mr.
Churchill (the real one not some ex-doper from Midland via prep school)
said to Lady Astor at one insufferable
dinner party, "Madame, do you ever have an unexpressed thought?"
In a nutshell, don't let the critics get
you down. There's plenty of us who are happy with whatever measure of
Bartcop you can share each day. Whatever
you decide, I'll support you, because we need each other. I wish
more visitors to the treehouse understood
that.
Tom B
Tom, that was nice, thanks.
Something on your mind?
Call the
Then listen for your voice on...
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Wouldn't you love to watch a Bush-Clark debate?
Wouldn't you like to see Wesley Clark ask
Bush, "Where you snorting cocaine when
you deserted your post after taking
an oath to defend your country during wartime?
While Charlie was filling the right
side of my body with bullets, you were drunk in Mexico
with a nose full of Peruvian marching
powder and that kind of crap pisses me off."
You know I like Howard Dean, but if the
debate is Bush-Dean, the Texacutioner will say,
"I wore the uniform ...and you didn't."
I'd sure hate to see Bush win a term as president.
With our Holiday Special, you can subscribe for $10
and bring along a friend for only $5.
You only pay about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a handjob
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Added
Bonus:
Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466 Tulsa,
OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
and get a phone call from Bart. Remember:
The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk radio.
The internet is all we've got. And consider how the bastard will
govern when he never has to face the voters again.
Drudge, Pigboy do the Democrats a favor
Excerpt:
Through hyperbole bordering on misrepresentation,
Drudge turned what should have been
a small meet-and-greet session for two
pro-Democratic political organizations into a star-studded
spectacle of publicity and support for
the groups.
Earlier this week, Drudge began trumpeting
the news of a "Hate Bush" meeting planned for Hollywood
Tuesday night. In a breathless "exclusive"
report, Drudge claimed that "top Hollywood activists and intellectuals"
were planning to "gather in Beverly Hills
for an event billed as 'Hate Bush.'" Recovering addict Rush Limbaugh
played along with the tune, warning of
a coming confab by a bunch of "left coast Hollywood kooks" and
suggesting that the likes of Jane Fonda
would be involved.
It was, in fact, an informational presentation
by America Coming Together and The Media Fund, two groups
working to raise money -- and spend it
-- in support of the Democratic candidate in the 2004 presidential race.
Organizers expected about 100 politically
active Southern Californians to turn out for the event Tuesday at the
Beverly Hills Hilton. But with Drudge and
Limbaugh on the rampage, approximately three times as many
Hollywood Democrats made the scene.
ha ha
If Drudge or the vulgar junkie could tell
the truth, the Democrats would've made a lot less money.
Remember - we're going to win.
So don't give up. Continue the fight.
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Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
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......
...
...
.. ..
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Wesley Clark
Krugman Wellstone
Franken
Conason
Moore
Turkel
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
is up.
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
http://www.bartcop.com/mirrors.htm
..
By the way, did you see Shirley's totally scandalous quote
in the new Rolling Stone?
Odds are you don't know much about Shirley and how she does interviews.
She could make Cher, Madonna, Pink and Courtney Love all turn
red at the same time.
She will say a b s o l u t e l y a n y t
h i n g,
She's more frank than Sinatra.
So, the question was,
"Shirley, do you remember the first time you
heard the Beatle's White Album?"
She said, "I remember exactly, because
a boy was digitalizing
me when the album came on."
Odds are you can figure out what she said instead of digitalizing.
That's what growing up Catholic did to her.
(Just kidding, Shrl. I'm a Catholic, too!)
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
on
your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts
at humor.