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Election 2004
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Isaac  in Africa
Whining from Bart

  In Today's Treehouse...
Rivals gang up on Dean
Bush Thanksgiving visit
Iraq: Myth and reality
She voted for Nader
Gay marriage burning issue
I want to live!
New Lyons & Conason
Will Dean be a sitting duck? 
Monkey mail

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Quote of the Day

"We expect to see an increase in violence 
  as we move forward toward sovereignty 
  at the end of June."
   --  Gen. Sanchez, top commander in Iraq, 

 Translation:
 Bush might lose of we're still dying next summer,
 so we're handing off to the local inept targets so
 Bush and the press can shift the blame to Clinton.
 


 
Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com


Volume 1219 - Flush


 Wed-Thurs,  December 10-11, 2003

 Quotes

"On a personal basis, Rockefeller is a pretty nice guy.
  Reagan on a personal basis, is terrible. He just isn't pleasant to be around.
  He's just an uncomfortable man to be around - strange."
      -- Dick Ni xon, telling the truth for the first and last time    Attribution


 Rivals Gang Up on Dean, Gore in Debate 

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Eight Demo candidates ganged up on Howard Dean and President Gore,
 hoping to take the luster off Gore's newly minted endorsement of Dean.

 "We're not going to have a coronation," snapped John Edwards.
  As if.

"To quote another former Democratic leader, I think elections are about people,
  not about the powerful," said Wesley Clark. "I think it was Al Gore who said that."
 

 I think this should be the last debate like this.

 It's possible the Clark campaign reads bartcop.com, so I'm going to give them some advice.
 The general should not be involved in any more of these nine-way debates.
 If any more are scheduled, Clark should drop out.  This is becoming a circus.
 The next time Clark debates, it should be mano-a-mano with Dean or the Pinhead.
 Clark is too big to be described as "one of Dean's rivals."

 Dean and Clark are clearly the people's choice, and it's unclear if the Gore endorsement
 has done Dean a lot of good. Yesterday, the vulgar junkie did a skit where Gore said he
 would endorse Dean because Dean was the only one who'd accept his phone call.

 Yesterday's talking heads said this was a "bold" move for Gore, because by endorsing Dean
 11 months before the election, anyone else who endorses Dean now will be seen as following
 Gore, thus enhancing Gore's status as a visionary and a strong decision maker. If only we had
 some of that in 2000, it might be the GOP holding debates with nine candidates.

 So - to my good friends in the Clark campaign, now is the time to pull out.  The general is not
 one of the nameless, faceless nine wannabees.  It's sad when a plain girl doesn't get asked to dance,
 but there's no reason for her to hang around while the band packs up their instruments.
 This dance is over for everyone but Dean and Clark.



 Quotes

"Their voices have been heard. They elected me to be governor, and they sent me up here to do the job.
  That's what I'm here to do, and so that's why I'm concentrating on this right now."
   -- Culli-fornia's Gropenfurhrer, on why he cancelled his groping investigation    Attribution


 Bart-

 My family does a Christmas present name draw so we only have to buy one present instead of 8.
 This year, I have drawn the name of my Tom-DeLay-clone brother-in-law.

 I asked him what he wanted, and he is milking this for all it is worth.  He asked for Ollie "Convicted Felon" North's
 new book on his experience as an embedded reporter in Iraq.  He knows full well how much it will pain me for any
of my hard-earned money to go this despicable human being.  I protested to my wife, but she insists I give him what he asked for.

 So ...

 Can you remind me again how to purchase from Amazon so that Bart gets thrown a bone in the process?

 Best,

 Dennis
 

 Dennis, just go to the bottom of the page where it says Holiday Shoppin Online?
 Punch in Ollie the Traitor and since you went in using that portal, they'll send me four cents.

 But...

 What if you said you bought him North's book but instead gave him 2 CDs
 with the last three great-sounding BartCop Radio shows on them?

 ha ha



 Thanksgiving Visit

  Attribution (Stars and Stripes)  saw it on Atrios

 So the boss came to visit us on Thanksgiving, under wraps and under the American flag.
 Thanks for coming.

 Oh thank you, kind leader, merciful leader, for taking one day out of your busy schedule to visit us.
 The shepherd looking over his flock. Thanks for making the sacrifice. God knows we're making one.
 Re-election is coming up, but that had nothing to do with it, now did it?

 I remember your victorious landing on the ship.
 Oh how all those then alive, and now dead, would love to sit down next to you, cutting their families' turkeys
 and filling the empty seats at the tables. Leader of the free world, be our guest at the head of our table.

 Or would you like to sit in one of the many empty seats left by the war?
 There's plenty of room.
 Enough turkey and stuffing to go around.
 Fat and happy, delirious and exhausted.
 That's how I feel.

 In a hurry?
 Going so soon?
 Have time for questions?
 You sure do have time for compliments.
 Do you ever feel responsible?
 I'm tired of this.
 Go back home to the ranch and tell them how happy and fulfilling the trip made you feel.

 Spc. Damian Torres
 Iraq  Leavenworth


 Subject: I share your instincts

 BC

 Much like yourself, I'm old enough to know how these Bush bastards campaign.
 They're gonna' rip Dean a new one on the military/homeland security issue.
 $170 million can buy a lot of "elitist liberal, out-of-tune with America" kind of ads.

 We're screwed.

 JP
 

 If Dean wins the nomination, and turns out to be another Clinton on the campaign trail,
 we could still win, but what are the odds of Dean being another Clinton?

 ...and they have much more than $170M

 If Bush gets into trouble, BIG OIL will give him another $200 million.
 They got billions in tax breaks - they won't let their boy lose.



 



Marty's Entertainment Page
The Wall Street Poet
Fresh BAGnews
Zell Miller (R-Traitor) on Jon Stewart
A glass violin
Jimmy Kimmel picked up til 2005
Ozzy's accident
An interview with Liza Minnelli
Jerry Seinfeld & the 'B' movie
Pink's days at McDonald's
Whitney, Bobby & bruises
Ahnold says it's time to move on
MC Hammer's new WB series
And a Siberian tiger


 The BBC and Iraq; Myth and reality

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Greg Dyke, the BBC's director general, has attacked American television reporting of Iraq.
"For any news organisation to act as a cheerleader for government is to undermine your credibility," he said.
"They should be... balancing their coverage, not banging the drum for one side or the other." He said research
 showed that, of 840 experts interviewed on American news programmes during the invasion of Iraq, only four
 opposed the war. "If that were true in Britain, the BBC would have failed in its duty."
 

 America's good puppy press doesn't know how to report any more.
 All they're doing is licking Bush's ass and begging for a cute nickname.

 With Clinton, they (even the NY Whore Times) printed every wild-ass story Rush and Drudge made up,
 but with Bush, they won't even ask him how many times he's been convicted of a crime.

 It's so incredibly disgusting.


 West Wing poker was a lot of fun.
 The biggest surprise was how much they don't know about poker!
 Bartlet was first out - I'm not sure he understood what "all in" means.

 Right after that, CJ goes all in with a pair of fours with two sixes on the table.
 Trouble is, Leo has a pair of sixes in his hand.
 Four sixes is really damn hard to beat in poker.

 Sidebar:
 Regan, would you invite the WW gang to Pokerfest 2004 in Vegas?
 Martin Sheen, especially, since he's the highest paid and not familiar with the game :)

 These televised poker games are teaching an entire nation how to play bad poker.
 Nobody in last night's game has ever heard, "Know when to fold 'em," but go figure,
 very often the worst player won hueueueuge pots because he didn't have the sense to get out.

 And Toby was the big winner, even tho he played horribly all night.  He was down to under 5K
 in chips when the others had 15K and 19K, and he goes "all in" on a 9-Jack.

 That was a crazy move, but Busfield had a worse hand and he went all in, so Toby doubled up.
 All night, the worst moves won, and some of them were even worse than Jerry Buss plays.



 Subject: I voted for Nader

 I'm one of the people who voted for Nader.  A vote for Nader is a vote for Nader.
 Period.  It is a vote for the candidate who I found best qualified.
 In absence of a better candidate, I've been known to write in my mother's name.
 I do not believe in that I in any way elected the BFEE.
 My state was a Gore state, anyway, and not one of the "swing" states.

 The Gore state gives you some cover, but in swing states, Nader voters helped Bush,
 and until the election is over you can't be sure if you're a swing state or not. (except in
 obvious coyote states like TX, OK, Carolina etc.)   Please don't do that again - please?
 

 You're the one to berate the "pink tutu" democrats for folding under pressure.
 Is giving up one's beliefs on the assumption that this will get the BFEE out of office the same thing?

 No, electing Bush and electing Gore are very different things.
 Somehow, Nader convinced people that if they vote funny and help Bush get in, somehow they get to
 feel like, noble inside, but Bush is still a murdering monster who's killing the American dream for tens of millions.
 

 In the 50s, civil rights was extremely unpopular, and I notice that seems to have changed
 because people were willing to risk for the right thing.

 Flaw in your logic: In the 50s, your choices were holding still or moving forward.
 What if, back in the 50s, your choices were to vote for civil rights vs more lynchings?
 If those were the choices, it might've been better to slow down the "advancement."

 Similarly, with Bush, we're dealing with moving - forward or backwards, but there's no holding still.
 America is so much worse off than it was in 1958 or 2000, the internet can't hold all the examples.
 Please vote for the democrat this time - maybe we can stop Bush.

 The American people will admire someone who stands behind the courage of his/her convictions.
 What you are suggesting sounds like waffling and compromise in order to get something a little better.

 What I'm hearing (which could be different from what you're saying) is that you'd risk another Bush
 disaster in order to stick with "your principles." I'm guessing that you're female, black and gay,
 and you'd really rather have "your principles" and another four years of Bush?

 People will not take gay marriage seriously if we are not willing to take it seriously ourselves.
 Again, this is purely nominal.  I am very happily single.
 R

 As with all e-mail exchanges, you haven't had a chance to see, evaluate or reply to my lynching analogy.

 It's my opinion that the choices here are:
Push hard to win the "M" word, but risk everything and I mean everything as in "lynching" gay rights,

  OR

Take the Supreme Court rulings as half-a-loaf victories and elect a gay-friendly president
     who can reverse the disasterous path the fascist bastards are leading us down.

 I appreciate the frank and fiesty give-and-take.


Great Christmas Gifts


 Gay marriage
  My mailbox is burning

  Click  Here

 Get a drink, visit the restroom - a lot of people had a lot to say.


 High court to debate Miranda rights, again

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Thirty-seven years after it was decided, the Miranda decision remains the Supreme Court's most
 contentious criminal procedure ruling. The court has revisited the ruling nearly 50 times, expanding
 and clarifying the right and establishing exceptions that allow police and prosecutors to use some
 confessions even if a proper warning wasn't given. Some departments contend that the Miranda
 warning is optional, required by law only if a statement is intended to be used in court. Defense
 lawyers and defendants' rights advocates hotly dispute that.
 

 I've got a pretty good Miranda rant - if I could just get my audio programs to work.

  Click  Here  to hear my description of the problem that you'll also hear.

 At this point, it looks like I'll have to once again wipe the entiree hard drive clean
 and hope the people at Microsoft and Creative labs know what the hell they're doing.

 ...or I might just shoot myself - that sure would be easier.




 I Want to Live!

 MTV has gotten away from music videos, and on the rare occasions when they play some,
 it's usually some thug rap which has failed to make it onto the very busy BartCop Radar.

 But Friday morning MTV ran 46664, the Nelson Mandela AIDS Awareness concert.
 More on that in a second, but to be sure I got it all, I set the VCR for an hour ahead of time
 in case the starting time was East Coast.   Eirily, MTV played some videos before the show
 and I caught the great new video by No Doubt, called "It's My Life."

 I guess the video is new, but it's from The Singles 1992-2003

 I've always been very impressed by No Doubt's song writing ability.
 In this newest song, it starts out as a decent song and then boom!
 It takes this great turn and goes up a whole 'nother level.
 The melody is now stuck in my head, and that's bad news for everyone :)

 But the video, if I'm not mistaken, is from 1958.
 In the forties and fifties, there was a hottie named Susan Hayward.
 She did a shocking (for the times) movie called "I Want to Live."

..

 Before the Texacutioner made murdering women an everyday thing, it was rarely done
 in the black & white days, but this movie took it a step further.  If you've seen the
 No Doubt video, they pretty much duplicate the ending of the movie.

 I saw this on TV about 40 years ago so my memory's not perfect, but I remember
 Susan Hayward begging for her life - which gave us the title. They drag her kicking
 and screaming to the California gas chamber, and it was all very Hitchcockian.

 They strap these gorgeous babe onto the chair inside the gas chamber. Then they showed
 the egg-sized tablets of cyanide (that's just a guess) ...and ...the bucket beneath her chair.

 After a whole lot of tension, those tablets finally fall while Susan Hayward is screaming
"I want to live" as the clouds of poison gas fill the chamber ...and then she's gone.

 Oh, by the way, she was innocent, framed by the real killers before we had DNA and forensics.
 I hadn't thought of that movie in several decades, but watching Gwen Stefani in handcuffs
 and chains while kicking at her jailers brought it all back.

 By the way, did you catch No Doubt on the Billboard Awards last night?
 They're on Jimmy Kimmel tonight. I'm sure they'll be playing this great song.

 And we need another No Doubt/Garbage tour, don't you think?



 Quotes

"Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon."
   -- Abby Hoffman
 

 Abby, the guy we got now is lots worse than Nixon.


 Reminder:

 If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com

 Can't get in the members section?  Sam can help.


............................................

Click to Enter


 Two more killed in Iraq attacks

.
 Proof we're winning

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Two U.S. soldiers were killed and four wounded Wednesday in Mosul.
 The emergency landing of a U.S. helicopter near Fallujah, west of Baghdad,
 was likely the result of ground fire by insurgents, the military said.
 

 I'm so tired of counting the American dead.
 How soon until election day?
 300 more days?

 Can we take 300 more days of this?


 Physician, Heal Thyself
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Alas, in practice only the most flagrant transgressors, such as the New York Times' Jayson Blair
 or The New Republic's Stephen Glass--reporters who faked bylines, made-up imaginary interviews,
 and wrote fiction disguised as news--get punished. Driven by cable-TV celebrity, Washington has
 developed a star-system rivalling that of Hollywood, or more aptly, perhaps, the old Soviet Politburo.
 Politicians come and go, but the Tim Russerts, George Wills and and William Safires remain forever.

 The ethical effect has been disastrous. "Once a degree of celebrity is attained," I argued " the star system
 functions to protect even the most egregious offenses." Consider, for example, Washington Post columnist
 Charles Krauthammer. A former practicing psychiatrist, Krauthammer's stock in trade has become
 describing opponents of President Bush and the Iraq war as crazy.



 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq

 Last issue it was.. times  445  ....this issue it's  times 446

 More Americans lives snuffed out by Gangster's theft of the White House.

 Soon - we'll be at 500, and then 800 and then 1000.

 Will the Democrats be willing to fight for their country next November?
 Or will they just hand it to Bush on their knees, like they did in 2000 and 2002?
 

..
   "I'm as serious as McCain's
    wife having breast cancer."
 

 Total deaths since President Giggle and Kill said, "Bring 'em On":  240  241

 From:  http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
 

 Plus, at least  2504..... 2516  wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
 Many of them are missing arms, legs, eyes and their memories from head wounds.
 Oh, and the burn victims will make your heart sink.

 From:  http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html
 How much more are we willing to tolerate?


 Subject: stupid Democrats

 The Demos really blew it in NH. When asked "Those of you who believe
 that Howard Dean can beat George Bush please raise your hands"?

 None of them except Dean raised their hands.

 My point is that every hand should have gone up last night.
 We can beat George W if we all hang together.
 John
 

 John, I believe the democrats would rather hang separately.
 You watch, Team B.F.E.E. is compiling a commercial with sound-bite snippets
 that explain, in the Democrats' own words, why they're not fit to lead America.

 Of course, our side can't imagine doing anything like that.
 Remember Jon Stewart held a debate between Gov Bush and President Bush,
 where the twoy argued over nation-building and sending troops to far away places?

 The goddamn comedians can think of effective ways to prove Bush is a lying loser,
 but the democrats are sitting around holding a broom in their hands, and they're going
 to promise to "sweep the rascals out of Washington."

 Were none of them alive in 1992 and 1996 when Clinton showed them how to win?

 I need a drink.


 December sticker placement contest!

..

 How to win:

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 bartcop.com  PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.

. Click  Here   for the best October stickers

  Click  Here   for the best November stickers

 Winner gets Joe Conason's book, Al Franken's book or your choice of  a subscription
  to Maxim Magazine   (Maxim has no nudity) or any similarly priced book or magazine.

....

 Send sticker pics to  bartcop@bartcop.com


 From: Sean

 Subject: subscriptions

 I recently subscribed to BartCop for $5.00 per month
(I'm a math teacher at a high school and a university.)

 Now I know that gets me in to listen to the latest BartCop Radio,
(It seems to be working O.K. thanks very much, but I usually don't have the time to sit and listen.
  I should try getting someone to burn them on dvd or maybe put them on my mp3 player?. . .)

 Many people do that, especially commuters. If you have an hour train ride to get home, or a long ride
 to Grandma's for the holidays, I can't think of a better way to spend that time than listening to BCR.

 What else is the subscription good for?
 Seeing the partially finished edition of the webpage a day early?
 Not much use.

 Like many things, it depends on what you do with it. Getting tomorrow's page today, you might see that
 I'm doing a story on your favorite subject, but I have something wrong.  This is your chance to straighten
 me out or prevent me from embarrassing myself.  Subscribers can e-mail me and get their comments in the
 issue before it's published. That works a lot better than, "Remember that story from yesterday?"

 For instance, if Hollywood would let me see first drafts of their major films, I could point out to them
 the glaring plot holes and continuity mistakes that torpedoe* most films.  Trust me, if they had screened
 Panic Room, Signs and Scary Movie 3 for me, I could've saved all three films. And I would've told
 them to save the advertising and distribution costs for the barely-watchable Unbreakable.

 Plus, subscribers have access to a private mailbox, and first crack at opportunities such as the upcoming
 Pokerfest to be held in January in fabulous Las Vages, which is sure to be a sellout.

 We are currently undergoing a "reorganization" where I hope to have a dozen assistants working on
 projects that will free up some time to where there will be more radio shows and little additions to
 the members page such as short, funny films.  I hope you find your membership worth the money.

 ...and your stickers are on their way.



 Will Dean Become A Sitting Duck?
   by Joe Conason

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 And what of Dr. Dean's record in Vermont? He deserves credit for his successes, notably in expanding
 health-care coverage. But that isn't the whole story - and the former governor seems determined to
 prevent reporters and opponents from looking at the state documents he placed under seal in 2002.

 That may protect him until the primaries are effectively over. But how will he criticize Cheney for meeting
 secretly with energy-industry lobbyists, if he won't release the records of his own meetings with nuclear-power
 executives in Vermont? Dr. Dean replies sharply that Mr. Bush, too, hid his gubernatorial records. On this and
 many other issues, however, the national media will treat the challenger more skeptically than the incumbent.


Something on your mind?
 Call the
Then  listen for your voice on...

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 With our Holiday Special, you can subscribe for $10 and bring along a friend for only $5.
 You only pay about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a paper of Bush lies these days.

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 Added Bonus:
 Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
 and get a phone call from Bart.   Remember: The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk radio.
 The internet is all we've got. And consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to face the voters again.


 From: Sue

 Subject: being anti-Bush can cost you

 I take my paycheck to his bank (a half block away) and cash it.  I have been doing this for OVER two years.
 I went in to cash my check and got a young teller who has helped me before.  He took my ID and info and was
 processing the check when he asked me about opening an account.  I mentioned I pay cash as it is not the
 government's business what I buy.  (He gave me a funny look).

 He then asked about a charge card and I said, "Not in today's economy."
 He said, "The economy is the best it's been in 20 years!"

 He's been watching FOX or listening to the vulgar addict.

 I said that is false information and that yes corporations are hiring lots of people and projecting good employment
 but that they are all hiring overseas not any Americans and that jobs are a disaster.  He again looked tight-jawed.

 Then all of a sudden he needed to verify the signature.   After five minutes he said he'd be right back and took it to a bank manager!
 10 minutes later, I go back to them and say, "What's the problem? Just call the office."  It took over 15 minutes to cash this check.

 Needless to say, I will not go there again and will just take it to my credit union, something that is inconvenient for me.
 I was shocked!
 This little neocon was jacking me around because I didn't buy into his crap!!
 The Nazi's are everywhere!!  Watch what you say.

 It sounds like the little Nazi-in-training needs a Size 11 boot in his ass.
 If I sent you some bartcop stickers, would you drop one off to him? :)



..

  From: trevpent@yahoo.co.uk

  Subject: asshole - just like your boss (dubya)

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:


 Hold your head up.

 One day, when a Democrat fights back,
 If we can ever get the GOP in a fair fight,
 we will kick their lying asses back to Houston.


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..,
 

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.


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