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 America where are you now?
 Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
 Don't you know we need you now.
 We can't fight alone against this monster
 
 

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In Today's Treehouse... Saddam caught - feel safer? Bush: Halli should repay loot The "Bush Boom" One down, two to go I finally figured it out Google bombing the Pigboy Jessica Lynch captures Saddam Strom Thurmond - rapist? Double shot of Monkey mail Quote of the Day "Bush is preventing entire nations from bidding    on contracts in Iraq so his campaign contributors    can continue to overcharge the American taxpayers."    --Howard Dean, on Halliburton    Attribution

 

Support Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK 74155PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com

 Quotes

"Think about what $61 million could buy for our troops in need
   rather than lining the pockets of Halliburton executives."
     --John Kerry,  Attribution
 

 If the candidates had read  bartcop.com  they would've known about this a year ago.

 Saddam caught - do you feel safer?

 Big f-ing deal, Bush caught a man who wasn't a threat to us.
 Meanwhile, the guy who blew up New York is still free and plotting further attacks,
 but Bush said, "He doesn't concern me," because bin Laden has no oil Bush can steal.

 So now what?

 I head that wack Lieberman say that Saddam should be put on trial at The Hague,
 but that won't do because they don't have the death penalty, so Joe the Republican
 says we should try Saddam here, in America, so we can execute him.

 Hey Joe, with what crimes would we charge Saddam?
 Under what jurisdiction do we have the authority to try Saddam?

 Bin Laden? You bet your ass - he attacked us and killed people, but Saddam was
 nothing more than a murdering dictator, like a dozen other murdering dictators.

 Sunday we drove all day, and we heard nothing but CNN and FOX for about 8 hours.
 They just kept saying the same things, over and over without ever changing anything.

 One talking head would say, "Do you think Saddam will do this or that?" as tho anyone
 in America knows what's inside Saddam's head. The press was in a total frazzle except
 they had nothing to say except, "Saddam was caught hiding in a spider whole."

 They said it hundreds of times.

 One particularly annoying FOX bimbo said the stock market would go up 1000 points.
 I sure wish I could get a piece of that bet.

 ...and what if Saddam tells what he knows about the B.F.E.E.?

 Quotes

"Today, the unemployment rate dropped, as you may know, from 6 percent to 5.9 percent."
   --America's King, crowing about his great economy,   Attribution

 Subject: media cover up?

 A colleague of mine has just come back from nursing in Saudi and Dubai and she told a story of an
 American plane fired on while taking off.  It came down killing all 12 on board who were on their way
 to R & R in Germany.  This was around August and was I think in Basra, but I don't know for sure.

 She said that friends of hers (including Americans) saw no mention of it in any media at all, as though it
 never happened.  Do you recall hearing anything then or since?  They were told about it by military nurses
 at the time.  We all know the bastards are downplaying the extent of injury out of Iraq but if this story is true
 how many more like it are there?

 Can your people wait for another fraudulant election to be played out?  Can you all afford the "terror" attack
 they will subject you to in order to get him re-elected and get the draft in?  The American people have to
 liberate themselves here, There will be no invading army to effect "regime change" for you all.  The election
 next year may be the last peaceful opportunity.  Swing it

 Paul B

 A while back, a friend who goes by Arm Hayseed sent me a letter about presidents and the economy with colors
 and fonts and stuff and asked me if I would print it. My arm pain was in full bloom at the time, so I told him I just couldn't
 afford the time it would take to transcribe his letter,  so he bought a book on html and learned it so he could get this
 story printed. He's retired, so learning html probably wasn't high on his "to do" list, but he wanted us to see this.

 That took a lot of guts and determination, so please do him and me a favor and check this out.

 Subject: the "Bush Boom"

  Click  Here  <<<  Now with working link

 One down, two to go

 With the capture of Saddam Hussein a tyrant has finally been brought down.

 But there are still two tyrants left that we need to rid the world of - Osama bin Laden
 - and the most menacing tyrant of them all - George W. Bush.

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA.

 Subject: Are you afraid?

 scared to reply because you know that you are wrong?

 Maria
 

 ha ha

 I'm on the road, using the laptop, and this is the only
 letter from you I can find on this computer.

 I'm certain there's no question you could ask
 and no point you could make that I couldn't handle.
 Having the truth on my side is a big help.

 Re-send and I'll prove it.

   Pokerfest Vegas 2004

 It happened again

 No Doubt was on Jimmy Kimmel Thursday night, so I set the VCR for ABC and went to bed.
 The next day, I checked it and instead of No Doubt on Jimmy Kimmel, I got an old epsiode of Cheers.

 Why did that happen?

 Because Tulsa is afraid of Jimmy Kimmel.

 The caveman, ditto-monkey, please-protect-us Christian ABC affiliate thinks Tulsans will grow horns
 and kill babies and shoot each other if we somehow get a glimpse of Jimmy Kimmel, the anti-Christ.

 Since ABC passed, the local WB affiliate picked him up.
 I guess the souls of the folks at the WB are already lost, so they had nothing to lose.
 I don't watch Kimmel, so I forgot he was on some half-ass channel, and I missed No Doubt.

 I want to leave Oklahoma sooooo bad.
 I want to move to a city where we're not "protected" from broadcast TV.

 Click  Here  to subscribe to  bartcop.com

 If enough people do that, I could move into the 20th Century.

 Research shows only $40 comes in on the 15th.
 Subscribing today would level some peaks and valleys.

 Subject: Question

  I thought your site had a discussion board where people can post topics and other reply, etc.
 Do you have such a function??

 I do love reading your board and certainly would like to be involved in such a forum.
 If you do not provide such a service, could you please direct me to "democratic" websites who do??

 ---it would be greatly appreciated in that I feel Dems really need to get together and yack to save our sanity.
 Thanks!
 Golfergirl
 

 Golfergirl, there are several places to go.

 To the left of the opening "Quote of the Day," you'll see The Forum, and The Reader and Live CHAT.
 Maybe I'll bump into you there sometime...

 I finally figured it out

 It took me 90 days, but in retro, it's clearar than Lake Concha.
 The reason Rummy leaked his own memo that Iraq would be, "a long, hard slog,"
 is because that's when he realized that his Iraq battle plan was totally F-ed up.

 Knowing that thousands of brave American soldiers were going to die in Iraq for no goddamn reason, Rummy
 wanted it on the record, he wanted lying whoires like Rush to say in the year 2008, that he, Rummy, the primary
 architect of Bush's failed "Let's screw Iraq for political points" strategy had been lost and doom was inevitable.

 Rummy was providing future FOX whores with the "documented" lie that he was always against this war,
 that he warned Bush time and again that Iraq would be, "a long, hard slog," but Bush, "the Texas hothead,"
 wouldn't listen to Rummy and all the deaths are on Bush.

 Was this the moment when the GOP bailed on Bush?

 Is Bush the sacrificial lamb?
 Was Rummy's "leaked" memo the fulcrum of the Dubya years?

 The GOP wants to survive, so if all it costs them is to screw the Never-elected moron,
 so be it because after Nixon and Reagan, a third disaster would sink them for another decade.

 Capturing Saddam might be a temporary plus for Stupid, but we need jobs, not a captured Saddam.

 Hey Bart,
 You were asking about how to google bomb Rush.

 Here's how.
 Whenever you refer to Rush as the Vulgar Pigboy, or a drug addict, etc... link those words to his site.

 Some examples: drug addict    drug addiction    vulgar pigboy    big fat idiot    junkiepillhead

 Many of us are linking these words on as many web sites, guestbooks, blogs, etc. that we can.
 When google crawls the web and sees these words linked to rush's site so many times, it will make the connection.
 Thus, after a few weeks, if it is linked enough times on the web, when one types in "vulgar pigboy" or "drug addict", etc.
 in a google search, google will direct them to the rush limbaugh site.

 I hope I explained that right.
 Keep up the great work with bartcop.com and bartcop radio.
 Thanks!
 Kaye
 

 Kaye, good work.
 We need to get all the humor sites to do that.

 On-the-payroll liars

 Biography is asking us to guess who will be the biography suibject of the year.
 It's a no-brainer because the media is solidly behind the BFEE and the GOP.

 It will be Arnold the disabled-stomping Nazi.

 Anybody want to bet?

 They'll spend an hour or two wazing and swooning about the "great" Arnold Schwartzengroper
 and how he saved a state he can't pronounced from the evils of Gray davis and liberalism.

 Of course, they won't mention that Bush, Cheney and Enron crated California's problems,
 because that's not what the goofy Callifornia voter wants to hear. They like movie stars there
 so they put a muscleheaded non-thinker in charge of their future and their children's futures.

 Anybody want to bet?

  bartcop@bartcop.com

 General Clark to Testify at Milosevic Trial

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bush has agreed that Wesley Clark can testify in the war crimes trial of Slobodan Milosevic.
 Bush has demanded the right to edit videotapes and transcripts of the sessions before they are made public.
 

 What a pack of cowards.
 They don't want people reminded that Wesley Clark is a real military hero.
 They don't want people reminded that Clark and Clinton was that war with zero US dead.
 They don't want people reminded that things were much better under Clinton.

 Jessica Lynch captures Saddam
   by Greg Palast

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Former Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein was taken into custody yesterday at approximately
 8:30pm Baghdad time. Various television executives, White House spin doctors and propaganda
 experts at the Pentagon are at this time wrestling with the question of whether to claim PFC Jessica
 Lynch seized the ex-potentate or that Saddam surrendered after close hand-to-hand combat with
 current Iraqi strongman Paul Bremer III.
 

 ha ha

  Christmas Gifts

................................
    No Doubt - Singles         Best of Red Hot Chili Peppers                 Garbage #2

......................................
 Dick Van Dyke - Season 1      What Mrs Bart is getting              Alias Season 1
 

 .......................................
 Outkast, for your thug friends                        Pink                                  I forget her name...

 Got a snippy ditto-monkey brother in law?
 Or that Uber-Nazi you're forced to work with?
 Give them the last three (professionally mixed) BartCop Radio Shows on CD for just $25.

  For the best in political books, see the bottom of this page

 Reminder:

 If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com

 Can't get in the members section?  Sam can help.

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"A 78-year-old retired Los Angeles schoolteacher said she is breaking a lifetime of silence to
 announce that she is the illegitimate mixed-race daughter of Strom Thurmond (R-Still Dead),
 once the nation's leading segregationist. In an interview, the woman said that Thurmond
 privately acknowledged her as his daughter and provided financial support since 1941."
 

 I think it's safe to say Thurmond raped her mother, the Thurmond family maid.
 Being 78 means she was born in 1925.  If a negro claimed she was raped by a rich, white man,
 the Carolina legal system back then would just laugh and tell the raped woman to run along.

 This was forty years before African Americans had civil rights.

 ...but, of course, since Strom was GOP, his sex scandals were covered up and ignored,
 ...and did you hear the report that Clinton was seen talking to a pretty blonde woman last week?

 Bush's good puppy press will always report an "important" story like that.

 Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
 Last issue it was 453  ....this issue it's  times 456

 Plus, at least  2516..... 2595  wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.

 From:  http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html

 Subject: BartCop radio CDs

 Hi Bart;

 Received the BCR CDR's and all I can say is **WOW**!
 The A-1 professional quality was a total suprise.  Very impressive.

 ha ha
 All praise to Tommy Mack.
 

 You really hammered O'Liely and Pigboy (btw.. did you notice El Puerco
 slurring at the end of his show Fri.?  wonder if he's back on the drugs...)

 One more thing....the insult dog is a SCREAM  :-D
 Thanks for sending out the CDs, and stickers.

 later,
  ~s
 

 S, I'm glad you liked them.

 Readers - you, too, can get three professionally mixed BCR shows for just $25,
 with the semi-professional O'Reilly beatdown as a free bonus!

 Give one to that Bush-worshipping smug bastard you work with,
 give another to your "Bush is God" brother in law, and send one to your
 Demo senator so he/she can get a clue what fighting back sounds like.

 Snail mail to PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK  74155
 or PayPal to  https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=bartcop@bartcop.com

 Dear Mr Bush

 Well, it's going on two weeks now since your surprise visit to one of the two countries you now run and,
 I have to say, I'm still warmed by the gesture. Man, take me along next time! I understand only 13 members
 of the media went with you -- and it turns out only ONE of them was an actual reporter for a newspaper.
 But you did take along FIVE photographers (hey, I get it, screw the words, it's all about the pictures!),
 a couple wire service guys, and a crew from the Fox News Channel (fair and balanced!).

 Then, I read in the paper this weekend that that big turkey you were holding in Baghdad (you know, the picture that's
 supposed to replace the now-embarrassing footage of you on that aircraft carrier with the sign "Mission Accomplished")
 -- well, it turns out that big, beautiful turkey of yours was never eaten by the troops! It wasn't eaten by anyone! That's
 because it wasn't real! It was a STUNT turkey, brought in to look like a real edible turkey for all those great camera angles.

 Now I know some people will say you are into props (like the one in the lower extremities of your flyboy suit), but hey,
 I get it, this is theater! So what if it was a bogus turkey? The whole trip was bogus, all staged to look like "news." The fake
 honey glaze on that bird wasn't much different from the fake honey glaze that covers this war. And the fake stuffing in the
 fake bird was just the right symbol for our country during these times. America loves fake honey glaze, it loves to be stuffed,
 and, dammit, YOU knew that -- that's what makes you so in touch with the people you lead!

 It was also a good idea that you made the "press" on that trip to Baghdad pull the shades down on the plane. No one in
 the media entourage complained. They like the shades pulled and they like to be kept in the dark. It's more fun that way.
 And, when you made them take the batteries out of their cell phones so they wouldn't be able to call anyone, and they dutifully
 complied -- that was genius! I think if you had told them to put their hands on their heads and touch their noses with their tongues,
 they would have done that, too! That's how much they like you. You could have played "Simon Says" the whole way over there.
 It wouldn't have been that much different from "Karl Says," a game they LOVE to play every day with Mr. Rove.

 Well, if you're planning any surprises for Christmas, don't forget to include me. When I heard last week that you wanted to
 send a man back to the moon, I thought, get the fake goose ready -- that's where ol' George is going for the holidays!
 I don't blame you, what with nearly 3 million jobs disappeared, and a $281 billion surplus disappeared, and the USA stuck
 in a war that will never end -- who wouldn't want to go to the moon! This time, take ALL the media with you! Embed them
 on the moon! They'll love it there! It looks just like Crawford! You can golf on the moon, too. You'll have so much fun up there,
 you might not want to come back. Better take Cheney with you, too. Pretend it's a medical experiment or something.
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for every American who's sick and tired of all this crap."

 Yours,
 Michael Moore

 December sticker placement contest!

..

 How to win:

 To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
 bartcop.com    PO Box 54466    Tulsa, OK 74155
 OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers within 48 hours.

 The stickers are free, but donations are accepted.
 Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.

. Click  Here   for the best September stickers

. Click  Here   for the best October stickers

  Click  Here   for the best November stickers

 Winner gets a book from the bottom of this page or a subscription or a calender - your choice

 Send sticker pics to  bartcop@bartcop.com

 BushCo issues latest orders to media lickspittles

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Memo to U.S. press corps: Your coverage of "President Gives American Troops the Bird"
 was adequately fawning and obsequious. But failure to continue to grovel will be severely punished.

 Thanks for "playing along" (and pretending you had a choice) with our Thanksgiving Day
"President Gives American Troops the Bird" photo op. Thank goodness you "reporters" didn't actually
 "report" what was going on till we told ya to! (NOTE: Prop turkey still missing. Please return, or $3,487
 charge from Kellogg, Brown and Root will be transferred to press pool.)

 Congratulations to the special forces who captured Saddam.
 Now, can we catch Ken Lay?

 Greg Whitman

 Quotes

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
    -- Mark Twain

..

 From: travrosty

 Subject: got Saddam
 

 WE got Saddam Hussein,

 YOU got Saddam?
 I didn't know they let monkeys in the Fourth Infantry Division...
 

 ...so you fucking liberals can just shut the fuck up now.

 We can?
 You're a potty-mouthed little monkey, aren't you?
 

 You anti-american assholes have no gripe now.

 We don't?
 So bin Laden and the economy and Clinton's missing surplus and Halliburton
 getting caught and Diebold's crimes and Bush's rape of the environment are non-issues?
 Maybe that kind of thinking is why you guys lost the last three popular votes.
 

 You keep asking where fucking saddam hussein is, well, we got that fucker, no thanks to you assholes!

 We don't care about Saddam.
 He was never a threat to anyone but Bush's plans to steal Iraq's oil.
 Bush's old friend Osama is who he swore he would bring to justice.
 Saddam was nothing more than a sideshow distraction for the can't think monkeys.
 

 fuck you!
 trav r.

 Trav, what does your mother say when you use language like that at the dinner table?
 Do you kiss her with that potty mouth?

 With our Holiday Special, you can subscribe for $10 and bring along a friend for only $5.
 You only pay about 25 cents a day, which won't even buy a paper of Bush lies these days.

  https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=bartcop@bartcop.com

 Added Bonus:
 Subscribe for a year by mail ($100 - PO Box 54466  Tulsa, OK 74155) or send a one-time PayPal for that amount,
 and get a phone call from Bart.   Remember: The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk radio.
 The internet is all we've got. And consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to face the voters again.

..

  From: Ryley Hayes

  Subject: Hey

..

 Ryley Hayes
 

 Ryley, what are you and The Chimp so happy about?
 They caught a feeble, old man who wasn't threatening us.

 Do you feel safer?
 Did you think Saddam was going to invade America with RPGs and no planes or boats?

 It cost us a few hundred billion dollars and 456 brave men, ...and you're celebrating?

 Remember, when Clark and Clinton got Milosovich, we didn't lose one soldier - not one.

 Where is Bart?

  You can never trust the Weather Dudes.

 We wanted to leave Friday night when Mrs Bart got off work, but they said
 a giant snowstorm was about to hit Knuckledrag. This storm was to start as rain,
 then turn to sleet, then turn to "up to eight inches" of snow.

 The temperature was dropping so taking off on a 15 hour drive didn't seem too smart.
 We also figured the roads would be icy until the sun rose, so we didn't even set an alarm.
 Saturday we woke up and it was raining, nothing more.

 So we left at 1 PM and drove 700 miles.
 We woke up Sunday morning at a cheap hotel in Santa Rosa, New Mexico
 The wind was blowing hard enough to close the doors on cars.

 We made it to Colorado Springs in time for Mrs. Bart to see the final Survivor.
 As long as Johnny Fairplay didn't win, I'd be OK for the rest of the week.

 Monday, we'll finally make it to our destination - Estes Park. The plan is to send Mrs. Bart shopping
 for useless nicknacks while I get some page work done and lay down some tracks for whatever the
 next radio show is. At the end of the last show.  I said 24 was next, but it's actually 23, probably.

 I've got the portable studio and Tommy now has a working studio inside his home
 so we expect show turnarounds to get faster and faster.

 The forecast for tomorrow, (you can't trust them) calls for 75 MPH winds, so we
 want to get to Estes and get inside a motel before things get too wild. I'll try to do
 a radio show from inside Rocky Mountain Park.  Maybe I'll interview a moose.

 Hold your head up.

 One day, when a Democrat fights back,
 if we can ever get the GOP into a fair fight,
 we will kick their lying asses back to Houston.

 Holiday Shopping online?

 Use this portal and they'll throw  bartcop.com  four cents.
 If you spend $250,000 - they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.

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...... ... ... ..  .. . .....
Wesley Clark              Krugman           Wellstone                  Franken                    Conason                    Moore                      Turkel

---

 Read the Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com

..,
 

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

 bartcop.com  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor.