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In
Today's Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "The Republicans had better hope that
McCain is wrong.
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Quotes
"Bush did a bait-and-switch on us and substituted
Saddam Hussein, and boom,
$150 billion, 460 American lives and
no telling how much more of our Treasury
before this is all over. This
administration didn't have the heart to put the effort
and the innovation and the ingenuity
into fighting terror."
-- Wesley Clark, who can't seem
to get any traction with the truth Attribution
Is the truth so ugly that people just don't want to hear it?
What has ignoring the obvious got us, besides a wrecked country,
and empty Treasury
and so many funerals that they use a CD of "Taps," instead of
a bugler.
Excerpt:
It was a banner week for government secrecy.
Last Monday, the Supreme Court announced
it would consider an effort by Cheney to keep private the
records of the energy policy task force
he ran. On Friday, the White House announced that it has known
for two weeks about an attack on the Bremer
convoy -- but had decided not to divulge the information.
Later that day, Bush announced a disarmament
deal with Libya reached during nine months of secret negotiations.
In the meantime, however, the chairman of
the federal Sept. 11, 2001, commission, in remarks released last week,
criticized needless government secrecy.
"I've been reading these highly, highly classified
documents. In most cases, I finish with them, I look up and say,
'Why is this classified?' " said ChairmanTom
Kean, a Republican. "And so one of the things that I hope is that
maybe out of our work and maybe others,
a lot of these documents that are classified, will be unclassified."
If the BFEE is innocent in regards to 9-11, what are they hiding?
Why do innocent people have to work under cover of darkness?
Why isn't the press demanding answers to the big questions of
9-11?
And why are the Democrats helping Bush cover his tracks?
Attorney Says Limbaugh Blackmailed by Maid
Excerpt:
Rush Limbaugh paid "substantial" blackmail
to a former maid before she told law
enforcement and a tabloid newspaper about
his addiction to prescription painkillers.
Attorney Roy Black said Limbaugh could not
complain to authorities about the maid's
demand for $4 million because they would
use the information against him, and that the
maid and her husband "bled him dry" and
then went to authorities to gain immunity from
prosecutors before selling their story
for $250,000 to the Enquirer, Black said. The tabloid
ran a story in October, days before Limbaugh
announced he would enter a drug rehabilitation
program, alleging they supplied him drugs
for years.
ha ha
That sounds a lot like what Linda Tripp did to Clinton. Tripp
got that whole impeachment ball rolling,
then ran to Ken Starr (R-Hardon for Clinton) for immunity and
Rush cheered every second of that.
This couldn't happen to a more deserving bastard than Rush the
vulgar junkie. Hey Pigboy, when
you're innocent, nobody can blackmail you. But since you were
committing wholesale crimes every
day for the last 7-8 years, you were at their mercy and they
bled you dry and I think it's funny..
Black said Limbaugh suffered from a degenerative
disc disease with "pain so great at one point doctors
thought he had bone cancer," and that Limbaugh
chose to take addictive painkillers rather than have surgery.
Yeah, we all believe the crap Rush claims.
Rush was in so much horrible pain, sometimes he only played 27
holes instead of the full 36.
..
Subject: I may have found my long lost twin in you
Hmm.
I'm a progressive Bush-loather whose favourite
bands are U2 and Garbage.
Creepy.
Kudos on the site as well, I have yet to
find one as easy to navigate or as funny.
Seip.
Excerpt:
Rush Limbaugh's seized medical records
are "relevant and necessary" to a drug
investigation and should be unsealed, a
prosecutor argued in court papers Friday.
He has asked the court to keep the records
sealed, saying investigators violated
his privacy by seizing the records last
month and that without them he cannot be
treated for his medical conditions.
ha ha
Remember the years of shit Rush gave
Clinton for not confessiong to Monica up-front?
Now the vulgar junkie is stonewalling the
American justice system, trying to make an escape.
...and this is about extra-felony drug abuse, not a simple blowjob.
Nobody should be above the law, Pigboy.
Chickenhawk of the Day
Visit www.chickenhawkcards.com for your deck.
Makes a great stocking stuffer!
Marty's Entertainment Page
Quotes
"The Rush Limbaugh situation is proof that
you can work high.
I mean, he was out there every day
for eight years..."
-- Bill Maher on Larry King, but I can't find it in the
transcript.
(Is it there? Or is CNN still
doctoring the transcripts?)
Did they censor that unpleasant fact?
Will it hurt America to know that some people can produce while
impaired?
How do you think we got The White Album, 1984, Dark Side,
Hendrix, Zeppelin 4 and Who's Next?
Lou
Dobbs - right wing whore
by Bart
Hey Lou - you lookin' at me?
Saddam's Capture Faked
As with so many other events in the Bush
administration - it turns out that the capture of
Saddam Hussein was, in fact, faked.
Yes - Saddam is in custody - but it was the Kurds
who had captured him - drugged him - and
stuck him in the hole waiting for the Americans
to show up in a made for television event.
The revelation of this phony story as revealed by
a Yahoo news story caused the Bush administration
to raise the political threat level to Orange.
This phony capture is just the latest in
a string of phony events to justify Bush's phony war - the hunt
for phony weapons of mass destruction -
and going all that way back to Bush's phony 2000 election.
If you believe any of this then I have
a story about a phony economic recovery for you to listen to.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco
Merry Christmas from Ninja Bob
O'Reilly
caught inflating books sales numbers
Exposed by Matt Drudge, who calls O'Reilly "unstable"
ha ha
Lost the link
Excerpt:
Bill O'Reilly lashed out against me Wednesday
night -- just hours after closely guarded book sales figures
were splashed over the internet.
Sales figures show how, contrary to his claims, O'Reilly lags far
behind
rivals Al Franken and Sen. Hillary Clinton
for nonfiction props!
"I mean you can't believe a word Matt Drudge says," O'Reilly told the cameras.
"There is no other cure than to kill Matt Drudge," O'Reilly charged on IMUS (R-Sucks).
"I just want to tell everybody that Matt Drudge
is smoking crack - right now, in South Miami Beach
on Washington Avenue... And the authorities
should know it." !
ha ha
Who do we root for in this fight?
I just hope it gets super-ugly and super-nasty!!
Subject: Donations
Bart,
Just FYI, I'm another reader that's had
her job "eliminated" and will be unemployed after 12/31.
I'm not going to cancel my subscription
until I have to cash in my 401k.
But it could happen.
But hey, the economy is getting better! :-)
Cris
Atlanta
Subject: the Gropinator
Have you been watching what the Gropinator
is doing to us?
Did I tell you 'The Worst REASON' students
(not mine) voted for him?
They wanted his name on their diploma!
I hope it was worth cutting our budgets, losing classes, our jobs, his seizure of 'emergency powers, etc.)
Elizabeth
Koresh, that's sad, but I believe it.
Der Gropenfurhrer is in charge of the future of the whole state.
Good luck to Cully-fornia.
Maggie C. finds Bart sticker inside
of investigative reporter's trenchcoat.
Off
with His Head
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
Having hastily cut and pasted the definitions
of "the crimes of genocide, crimes against humanity,
and war crimes for their tribunal from
the International Criminal Court statute," a Human Rights
Watch spokesman told the British newspaper
The Guardian, Iraq's Governing Council has put
itself in the ironic position of enforcing
laws the Americans who appointed it don't acknowledge.
Fearful that U.S. soldiers could be charged
with war crimes in foreign countries, the Bush
administration has refused to ratify the
1998 Rome treaty that created the ICC.
...depending upon which crimes against humanity
he's charged with--of which there's no shortage
--Saddam's trial could afford him plenty
of evidence to charge that he couldn't possibly be guilty,
or else the Reagan and Bush I administrations
wouldn't have kept selling him weapons..
ha ha
He's Smokin' Gene Lyons
Great Christmas Gifts
Monkey Oil
The monkey has NEVER made a correct decision in its life.
It failed with the DUI, coke sniffing period.
It failed with the TX National Guard AWOL (dodged Vietnam),
it failed when it drove every business
it was involved with into losses, it failed the US public when it used
the
Supreme Court to stop the election winner
(Gore) from going into the White House, it failed the US public
when it sat in it's TX desert patch for
one month (vacation) while it and it's administration let the Twin Towers
fall,
it failed the economy into stratosheric
deficits, it failed the environment by breaking environment regulations
(made to give our children a clean earth
to live in) and killing the air and water we breath, it failed the US public
by destroying the very document we hold
dear, the US Constitution, it failed the US by going into Iraq (to distract
from the short list of failures mentioned
above) to get a reason to think its controlling the US public by relying
on
fear and hatred, with the help of bought
off media, to ensure US public doesn't concentrate on the fact that the
cocaine brain-damaged evil monkey has called
the shot wrong on every single decision it ever made.
What a lying puke from a low rate family.
A dishonor and traitor to our country.
If we thought another country would take
it (of course not, corporations wouldn't
even keep the dipshit on their payroll),
the lying grease spot would be shipped out COD.
Freeus04
If it wasn't true it would be funny...
VCR Alert
Tonight is a winner.
Was
Whoopie
cancelled?"
I heard it was doing
good in the ratings.
Did Karl Rove order
Les Moonves to take Whoopie off the air?
NBC gets into the holiday spirit
with a Law and Order - SUV
where a serial rapist grabs an expectant mother
during a car jacking.
On PBS, there's Holiday
Concert for the Troops With Marvin Hamlisch.
Just kidding.
Gee, if we give him a twenty, would he play
The
Sting?
...and we're just getting started!
There's A Very Queer Eye
Holiday, (funny as hell) and right after on Bravo,
there's another Celebrity Poker, starring
Paul Rudd, Ron Livingston, Sarah Silverman,
Shannon Elizabeth and Coolio.
I gotta get in a game with this kind of economic
potential!
Sidebar: We're only
32 days away from Pokerfest Vegas 2004.
Darlene Love sings Christmas
Baby, Please come home. on Dave.
Look for a camera with the troops in Iraq.
I'd watch.
Got a snippy, ditto-monkey brother in law?
Or maybe that Uber-Nazi you're forced to work with?
Give them the last three (professionally mixed) BartCop
Radio Shows on CD for just $25.
Special Bonus: the The
Bill O'Reilly beatdown.
I think people enjoy hearing the smug-ass bully get kicked down
a flight of stairs.
Note: the clumsy editing on the O'Reilly beatdown was
my
work, not Tommy's.
Merry Christmas,
...and please don't let President Bush murder us.
Bob and Jennifer won the November sticker contest.
Did you guys ever claim your book or calendar?
I have no way to keep up or follow up,
If I'm t a r d y, please contact Sam at sam@bartcop.com
Photo by Invaderz
Widow's
Bush Treason Suit Vanishes in Blink of Media Eye
'Protect Bush at all costs' is the major media's goal
Excerpt:
Widow who lost her man on 9/11 refuses
the government's million dollar hush money payoff,
studies the facts of the day for nearly
two years, and comes to believe the White House
"intentionally allowed 9/11 to happen"
to launch a so-called "War on Terrorism" for personal and political gain.
Press releases detailing these explosive
allegations are sent out to 3000 journalists in the print and broadcast
media,
and a press conference to announce the
filing is held in front of Independence Hall in Philadelphia on November
26th
(commemorating the end of the first futile
year of the independent National 9/11 Commission).
Imagine the world-churning implications
of these charges. Imagine the furor if just one was proved true.
Imagine the courage of this bribe- shunning
widow and an eminent attorney with his rep on the line.
Then imagine a press conference to which
nobody came.
(Well, only FOX News appears, tapes for 40 minutes,
and never airs an inch.)
If we want to know why they're covering this treason up, why don't
we just ask a Democrat?
For whatever reason, the Democrats have to problem with the Ait
Guard standing down on 9-11.
They have no problem with Bush's repeated claim that he saw the
first plane hit the WTC.
They have no problem with Bush appointing old friend "Whitewash"
Lee Hamilton to fix things.
Why are the Democrats helping Bush?
Didn't there used to be two political parties in America?
Reminder:
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
Can't get in the members section? Sam can help.
............................................
Click to Enter
Quotes
"It's wonderful. I don't make films to get
these kind of awards,
but every time it's like icing on the
cake."
--Tom Cruise, on his Golden Globe nomination for The Last Samurai,
Attribution
From: JSB 101
Reminder about your archives
Bart,
I bet a lot of your readers have never gone
back and read your old stuff.
Here is a piece from Issue #2.
Don't ever let anyone tell you that your
stuff isn't quality.
Even back in the beginning your wit was
clear.
Keep up the good work, Bart.
Jeff in CA
Jeff, thanks for that.
Some of the early stuff was rough, but funny.
Thanks to DC Miller
Reminder: If you sent a sticker pic that I didn't publish,
please re-send so I can get it uploaded.
(If you sent multiple pics, I just grabbed the best one or two)
Quotes
"It was like Ground Hog Day. Saddam popped
out of a hole,
and we got four more years of Bush."
--Bill Maher, on Larry King
Attribution
Dishonest Dubya
ha ha
I usually hate cutesy graphics.
I couldn't get the page to come up,
but this is from http://www.prisonplanet.com/122003dishonestdubya.html
Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was 461
....this issue it's
times 464
From: http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
Plus, at least 2637.....
2657
wounded for Bush's illegal oil grab.
From: http://www.antiwar.com/ewens/casualties.html
Bush's
disdain for media angers journalists
This is a lie of a headline - they love his smug ass
Excerpt:
Says Playboy editor James Kaminsky: "It's
appalling to think that the man who runs the country
somehow finds time for a long gym workout
each day, but can't muster up the intellectual curiosity
to peruse the newspaper. Is it laziness,
arrogance or a willful combination of the two? Does the
president really need a human filter to
deliver only news the White House staff thinks he wants to hear?
Do gossip items sometimes get thrown into
the daily 'readings'? How about the funnies? How hard is it
to watch the damn TV news, even while working
out?"
They keep the monkey shielded from everything.
Maybe they think he can't handle the strain
of knowing the truth.
It's another Saddam parallel - remember
they said nobody would tell Saddam
any bad news because he always murdered
the messenger?
Did you hear this one?
"They" say when our boys took custody
of Saddam from the Kurds,
he spat on one of our boys and was promptly knocked on
his Sunni ass.
...it could've happened that way.
Or,
...they could've had some semi-legitimate "Guiliani time" with the former Bush partner.
..
Saw it on http://www.freewayblogger.com
December sticker placement contest!
..
How to win:
To get your stickers, send a self-addressed envelope to:
bartcop.com PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
OR, you could PayPal a small donation and get your stickers
within 48 hours.
The stickers are free, but donations
are
accepted.
Get yours, then send in a digital photo of where you put it.
. Click Here for the best September stickers
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Winner gets a book from the bottom of this page or a subscription or a calender - your choice
Send sticker pics to bartcop@bartcop.com
Subject: various
I haven't yet subscribed because you seem in transition.
Your website isn't nearly as much fun
as it used to be - now it's mostly links to stuff
I've already seen/read, with terse commentary
from you. I know you're concentrating
on the radio show, but if the website
suffers...
I agree with the idea that perhaps you
should only update the website every two days,
or whatever it takes to bring it back
up to the standard you had previously set.
I've donated to you several times already;
I'll sign up for a monthly contrib when I'm
convinced you've got it together. You
definitely could be a force in the coming election year.
Sean
Sean, I tried to think of a really good
analogy to explain the situation,
but couldn't,
so let me offer this lame-ass analogy until
I can come up with something better.
Imagine a newspaper delivery boy who did a pretty good job.
Then, the size of his paper route got bigger, but the job still
got done.
After six years, the paper route was half of Milwaukee, but not
everybody
was getting their paper on time and sometimes it was wet or not
near the door.
After eight years, the paperboy was spending so much time answering
phone complaints and
answering newspaper inquiries, and buying rubber bands in bulk
and taking new subscriptions
and personally answering each subscription donation, but even
tho the delivery area was now
all of Milwaukee and parts of Green Bay, there was only a modest
increase in the paperboy's
paycheck so he couldn't hire more paper carriers to help.
We're undergoing a massive re-structuring at bartcop.com
I'm paying a Madison Avenue PR firm thousands of dollars
to re-vamp and distribute the
bartcop.com cyberspace image .
No, that's a lie.
Two very generous people, Sam D and Zendaba,
are volunteering to be my "Halliburtons."
Since I'm not able to build it, and they have volunteered to
do the on-the-ground heavy lifting.
We're going to try a MASH-style triage thing,
where personal mail goes here,
and news links go here,
and funny graphics go here,
and ad-buying mail goes here,
and,
...if we're lucky,
Monkey mail goes HERE!
ha ha
Think how tragic it would be to discover unread Monkey Mail in
the big stack of mail.
That could've brought us hours of fun, giving the conservatives
their always-called-for red-ass.
Anyway, this big overhaul should make bartcop.com
slicker.
(Homage to our last elected president)
I'll work harder to give you a reason to subscribe.
Something on your mind?
Call the
Then listen for your voice on...
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Subscribe today!
https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=bartcop@bartcop.com
The B.F.E.E. owns the networks, the newspapers and talk
radio.
The internet is all we've got.
And consider how the bastard will govern when he never has to
face the voters again.
Monkey mail
Bart,
You must be ready to throw in the towel
(the crying towel in your case) now that Bush's plan
has knocked off the third terrorist nation,
Libya. Colonel Moamar Khaddaffi is nobody's fool.
ha ha
Got a lot of respect for Khaddaffi. do
you?
He saw the writing on the wall and gave
up the WMD arms race among the Arab nations.
He doesn't need to be hiding in a 3 foot
square hole in the ground.
In your
whole lifetime, have you ever heard the phrase, "Libyan war?"
Khaddaffi's not at war with
anyone. Why would he need to have WMDs?
He's been seeking acceptance
since the Clinton years, besides, how do we know
this isn't just another Jessica
Lynch as Rambo, Bush the Flyboy on the Lincoln
or Saddam was captured by
American forces?
Do you really believe everything the mainstream media tells you?
Let's hear a cheer from you for the greatest President since Reagan!
No, Reagan was a small-time, wannabe,punk-ass
piker next to Bush.
Reagan never even tried a global
takeover, but the B.F.E.E. has succeeded.
You don't know too much about the GOP,
do you?
He has taken on the incredible task of making
every nation on earth a free country by hunting down the terrorists!
What a guy!
ha ha
He's "taken
on the task?"
You and I could"take
on the task."
That silly phrase doesn't mean a damn thing.
What has Bush done, besides get caught sleeping on 9-11, starting a fake war and ruining the economy?
Bush's legacy will be that he was the greatest
President of the 21st century.
Bob Blooger
So far, that's true, except for the fact that Gore won the election.
Bush was chosen to be president by his daddy's crooked employees.
Hold your head up.
One day, when a Democrat fights back,
if we can ever get the GOP into a fair
fight,
we will kick their lying asses back to
Houston.
Housekeeping
We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com
Sam and Zendaba have agreed to help
keep track of the ads and the graphics and
news stories so I'll have fewer people angry with me because
I didn't see their message.
The Sam and Zendaba cavalry came
at the right time.
Please send all ad e-mails to ads@bartcop.com
and please, with every e-mail,
send your name and URL and banner unless it's already been run..
Almost every day, I get e-mail saying, "When
will you run my ad?"
without saying which ad, which URL, etc.
Shopping online?
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000
- they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
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Wesley Clark
Krugman Wellstone
Franken
Conason
Moore
Turkel
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
Show 23 is near.
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
http://www.bartcop.com/mirrors.htm
..,
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
on
your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts
at humor.