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America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster
Shocking
shocker in Iowa
Kerry beats Dean by 20 points, Edwards wins second place
Dick Gephardt says he's pulling out tomorrow.
Dean was on Larry King and Hardballs looking totally shell-shocked.
What they said in the chat room:
<JoeBacon> Well, I am really amazed at Edwards
<tresec> That appearance the other day with the vietnam vet
was incredibly moving...that may have put him over.
<bart> Dean got hurt reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal bad tonight
<tresec> Dean isn't dead.......but he is slowly bleeding.
<Leila> I don't think Dean is really bleeding
<Joeve> Gep deserves it, the gutless whiner
<tresec> Lieberman is going to be bitchslapped rather badly.
<Leila> You gotta admit Lieberman is a uniter...he unites
democrats against him
<bart> Maybe Iowa was saying, "We don't like your war" to
Gephardt
<Leila> Dole and Carville...possibly the two most sensible
people on CNN tonight
<Cornbread> Kerry is a shocker. I gave him up for dead
a coupla weeks ago
<Joeve> southerners today won't vote for anyone who isn't
their kind
<tresec> God, I must be losing it; even Joe Scarborough
is making sense tonight.
<JoeBacon> Damn, Clark sounds Great on Larry Thing
<treehugger> Need to clean up the field
<Pisces> Clark: "I am not a deserter. And I am not a divider."
<Pisces> Why can't the Dem candidate say in the debate with
Bush: "You sir, are a moron."
<Leila> I'd love to see that, Pisces
<Pisces> What is up with americans? "That other candidate
is too intelligent, I'm gonna vote for Bush"
<JoeBacon> I wonder if Gore's endorsement hurt Dean?
<intoxicus> Clark is gonna slap ole' Dean around in NH
<intoxicus> Where are Gephardt's supporters going to go? Thoughts?
<tresec> I think Gephardt will probably throw his support
behind Edwards. But who knows.
<Fud> screw gephart he didn't show up for 90% of the time
for votes and gets paid well by taxpayers for doing shit
To make room for the extra, some of this issue was put on the bonus-page
Note: 5 days till the big Vegas Pokerfest
Pokerfest
Update - new location
from Bruce Yurgil - the King
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In
Today's Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "Iraq likely maintains stockpiles of
VX, mustard
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Click for more info and to order
Quotes
"Again, I call on the Senate to stop playing
politics with the American
judicial system and to give my nominees
the up-or-down votes they deserve."
--Braindead, announcing his
unconfirmed appointment of cross-burning Charles Pickering to the federal
appeals bench,
..
That's
Pickering on the left and Scalia on the right.
Bush
wears red because of his economic policies.
"So I see that President Bush has installed
Charles Pickering on the 5th Circuit Court via a recess appointment.
Pickering, of course, has been filibustered
by Democrats largely because of his lamentable record on civil rights.
But why do it today? After all, Congress
has been in recess for over a month. Let's see: last year Bush decided
to
celebrate Martin Luther King's birthday
by announcing his opposition to affirmative action at Michigan University.
This year he decided to appoint a judge
universally reviled by civil rights groups. Quite a coincidence, isn't
it?"
--Posted by Kevin Drum,
Attribution
No, it's not a coincidence.
Bush attacks blacks on MLK day to send a sigtnal to his white-power
base.
He knows the Democrats and the press will let him slide on this,
so he does what he wants.
Click Here to save the world
Political Rallies End in Brawl
Excerpt:
Two political rallies turned into a brawl
Saturday night in Des Moines.
A Democratic rally at Drake's Olmstead Center,
urged young Iowans to get out and vote.
It was targeted toward high school and
college students. A group known for not voting.
The rally featured comedian Jeanane Garafalo
and classic rock star Joan Jett, but it got a
surprise visit from some unwanted guests.
Subject: When
Clark came to Oklahoma 11/29/03
by a pillar named Eddy
Excerpt:
There was another question or two, which
Clark used to emphasize the Commander-in-Thief's penchant for
using troops for his own purposes while
failing to actually provide material support for them or their families.
Then, a woman asked if Clark would support
federal funding for stem cell research "so my brother could
get out of his wheelchair". Clark
knocked that softball--which reminded attendees of the costs, to real people,
of turning health decisions over to anti-abortion
activists--out of the park with a quick "YES".
After the applause died down, he clearly
wanted to say more. He paused a moment, as if searching for the
right word, and then fairly blurted out,
"This administration is ANTI-SCIENCE!"
Note: If you'd like to say who you're voting for and explain why, send it to bartcop@bartcop.com
A couple of rules:
Send plain
text only - no html or crazy fonts or colors.
I underlined
for
because I don't care which candidates you hate. (but Lieberman-bashing
is OK :)
Make it short, 2-3 paragraphs,
and
write it yourself - don't copy and paste.
Last thing
- please say something. Don't say, "He's
the man" or
"He's the perfect candidate,"
If you're good, you
might even change a fence-sitter's mind.
I'm new to "sundogs," but Neil has some pictures on his page.
..
See more at http://internets-future.com/winter3.htm
Click and learn
how we can make it easier for you.
Quotes
"After rising in public support following
the capture of Saddam, the President gives his State of the Union
message tomorrow night with a decidedly
less positive audience. His approval rating of 50% matches his
lowest approval ratings ever, and the
largest number ever - 45% - disapprove...Overall, most Americans
say things in the country are worse
now than they were five years ago. Fifty-seven percent say things are
worse, while 21% say they're better."
--CBS News Poll, Attribution
I wish that was true, but it's the opposite of what the CNN polls
told us.
Too bad there's no polling system or major media outlet we can
trust to tell us the truth.
We're going to have a candidate on March 2, after primaries
in Texas, California, New York, Ohio and Massachusetts.
\
A Newt Gingrich moment
Excerpt:
When George W. Bush appointed segregationist
Charles Pickering to a federal appeals court
just one day after laying a wreath at the
grave of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., he presented the
Democratic Party with a golden opportunity
to rectify the mistake that was so costly two years ago.
The Democrats lost the 2002 congressional
elections in large part because they neglected the
concerns of black voters who are essential
to the party's success. On June 30, 2002,
MakeThemAccountable warned that,
despite public opinion polls showing the Democrats
were ahead, the fall campaign was shaping
up to be a disaster:
Excerpt:
...some have said that the intense scrutiny
of Mr. Dean's Vermont record is what every
governor who runs for president faces.
No, it isn't. I've looked at press coverage of questions
surrounding Mr. Bush's tenure in Austin,
like the investment of state university funds with
Republican donors; he got a free pass during
the 2000 campaign
Bush has gotten a free pass since birth.
He's never once been in anything that wasn't pre-fixed up-front.
http://www.blackstarsblog.com/bushin41point2.htm
Marty's Entertainment Page
Groups See Conflict With Cheney, Scalia
Excerpt:
Government watchdogs are raising concerns
about a potential conflict of interest for
Justice Antonin Scalia (R-Rapes Constitution)
because he had dinner and went on a
hunting trip with Dick Cheney while the
Supreme Court was involved in a case about
the vice president's energy task force.
Scalia and Cheney, longtime friends, had
dinner at a restaurant in Maryland in November,
two months after Bush asked the justices
to overrule a lower court's decision requiring
White House to identify task force members.
The men went duck hunting in Louisiana this
month, not long after the court agreed to hear the case. .
I first became suspicious when Scalia installed his good friend
Dick in the White House
after stopping the vote counting and peeing on the wishes of
the majority of Florida voters.
Click to visit
Subject: O'Reilly beatdown
Got the CD's yesterday and listened to you
bitchslap the shit outa O'Reilly!!
It was great!!
Thanks, Bart!!
Jill
Clark's
sweater on eBay
Bidding was at $12,000 Monday morning
..
Hey, Maureen Dowd, suck on that.
The
Russians are slamming forward, the Brits and Americans are slamming
their
collective heads against the German Gustav lines in Italy, the Marines
are
slamming the Japanese, the RAF and USAAF are slamming German cities.
Next
installment we get Anzio.
Order your CDs today!
Got no speakers in your computer?
That's OK - these play in your car.
BartCop Radio Shows on CD for just
Currently shipping shows 22, 23 and 24, professionally mixed byTommy Mack.
Special
- Order the CDs this week and get the O'Reilly
beatdown free.
(Warning - language alert. O'Reilly
can really piss me off.)
Remember, if you PayPal, mention your address.
O'Neill
Tells All, And It's Not Pretty
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
The White House believes that massive deficits
don't matter.
The White House serves the narrow interests
of the wealthiest few.
The White House diligently heeds oil men
and coal operators.
The White House willfully ignores scientists
and environmentalists.
The President and his advisers care about
politics rather than policy.
The President and his advisers prefer scripted
consensus to candid debate.
The President and his advisers jump at
the command of corporate donors.
The President won't read any document longer
than three pages.
The President can't discuss substantive
policy issues.
The Vice President is in charge.
Few of those statements are likely to surprise
Americans who have
been paying attention to their government
for the past three years.
http://biomesblog.typepad.com/the_biomes_blog/
............................................
Click to Enter
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
If you work for Dean or Clark and want help punching up a speech, use that address.
From www.bushorchimp.com
Subject: Barry Crimmins rant
Hi Bart, Just listening to show #24 and
heard Barry Crimmin's rant. It was great.
I tried to follow your advice to write
him & comment, but, apparently
spammers have gummed up his guestbook.
Assuming you have some other way of contacting
him,
I'll ask you to please send him my admiring
regards.
Thanks,
Keep it up.
Ralph
Ralph, you can write to barry at crimquips@barrycrimmins.com
Martin
Luther King Day
by Rude Rich 01-18-03
McGovern
endorses Clark
General donates much-maligned sweater to veterans shelter
..
Clark
flipped a few pancakes at the event, wearing an apron
bearing
the slogan, "Wes Clark: Rhodes scholar, Supreme Allied
Commander,
Master of the Short Stack and 4-Star General.
Excerpt:
"I am here to endorse with all my heart
and strength - General Wes Clark,"
the war hero from South Dakota told about
500 people gathered at a pancake breakfast.
McGovern said it was "important" for Democrats
to "recover" the White House from
President Bush, a son of a biutch who enjoys
killing things and people.
Quotes
"[The latest] terrorist bombing in Baghdad
... is an outrage - another clear indication of the murderous and
cynical intent of terrorists to undermine
freedom, democracy and progress in Iraq. They will not succeed."
-- Paul Bremer, B.F.E.E.
puppet in charge of stealing Iraq
Attribution
Paul, they've already succeeded.
Bush is begging the UN to take over so we can pull out of completely-raped
Iraq so he can campaign.
They murdered
him for telling his people
they didn't
have to be slaves anymore.
A
matter of decency
by Gene Lyons January 14,
2004
Excerpt:
Well, Cal Thomas could. The conservative
columnist recently questioned
Dean's religious faith on the grounds that
his wife, Dr. Judith Steinberg,
is Jewish. Marrying her, Thomas opined,
was "strange at best,
considering the two faiths take a distinctly
different view of Jesus."
In a world where Slappy Thomas married a
white girl and Mary Matalin
married James Carville, why are they picking
on Dean for marrying a Jew?
When did Ron Silver turn Uber-Nazi?
I guess he was just playing a role on West Wing
when he asked why the Democrats
have been reduced to cowering in the corner, begging, "Please
don't hurt me."
On Bill Maher's show Friday night, he was so pro-war he wanted
to strangle Rev Al.
He's so extra, extra, extra into this senseless and endless bloodbath
in Iraq.
Geez, he made Dennis Miller and James Woods
seem reasonable.
Darrel Issa was on, and Silver made him look reasonable, too.
..
War
is great
and so is Bush.
I'm so old, I remember when Hollywood was full of lefties, but
Bush has convinced many of them
that he's on a divine mission from God and that means fake wars,
real murders and tax cuts for the stars.
The Unelected Monkey used last year's SOTU speech to lie
about Saddam's ability to launch.
We knew he was going to lie, so dozens of people
made "He is lying" signs for their TVs.
Make a sign that tells the truth about Bush - take a picture
of that sign
while Bush is lying and send the picture to bartcop@bartcop.com
Winner gets a free year of membership until the next SOTU
address.
Second place gets six months and three people get
third place prizes of 90 days.
If you're already a member, we'll think of something...
Hurry
- the speech pack of lies is tomorrow night.
Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
Last issue it was 502
....this issue it's
times 503
From: http://lunaville.org/warcasualties/Summary.aspx
Another thought about the SotU speech...
Count how many times the Democrats leap to their feet and applaud this fraud.
Whenever Clinton spoke, the Nazi bastards sat there like frozen
statues, but our side
has this super-sickening desire to "play fair" and Karl Rove
knows all about it.
Rove will order the cameramen to sweep the Democrats when they're
worshipping Bush
to show the country that "even the Democrats
know Bush is our greatest leader."
If bartcop.com had more power, we'd punish the idiot Democrats who applaud this fraud.
If the Democrats had any brains or any balls... (should I even
bother to finish this sentence?)
they would walk out en masse the first time Bush
says we were right to kill 500 brave soldiers for
his always-phoney hunt for weapons of mass destruction that didn't
exist in Iraq - but we're afraid
it might anger Mr. Rove, so our pink tutus will applaud
this fraud instead of walking out during his speech.
How did I get in the party of gutless geldings?
Musings
from the Heartland
by
Richard L. Fricker
Excerpt:
But remember, Starr, Sentelle, Thomas,
Scalia and the rest of the neo-con fascist trash
were appalled that Clinton lied about sex.
One does wonder that these people would know
about actual sex. We know their wives
have sex, sometimes, we just don't know with who,
sorry is it whom? Neo-con women have been
known to jump the fence for some mighty fine
liberal naked naughty. Back in college
the neo-con boys talked about getting U.S. out of the
U.N. while their women worked toward getting
U.N.
As we know it's not nice to talk about the sexual predilections of others, right Mr. Starr?
CNN poll
Were you better off with Clinton's peace
and prosperity
or do you prefer Bush's war, death, terrorism
and recession?
Bush's war, death, terrorism and recession 50 %
Clinton's peace and prosperity 40 %
Can't
figure out what "better off" means 10
%
This is why we're in trouble come November.
This country is going to do whatever the Bush media tells them to do.
They will vote to give Bill Gates another tax break - even
if they don't have a f-ing job.
They will back this mental midget when he invades another country
for no f-ing reason.
They believe Bush is a Godly rancher who is smart and well-read
- another Churchill.
I need a drink.
'Pippi Tupac' left last night
4 guys called today looking for 'Special
K' - gave them her dad's phone number.
She's bought into the whole manufactured
thug/rap thing & the small town wannabes were no longer cutting it.
Tried to explain 'reality' vs. 'p.r.,'
to no avail.
It wasn't that she behaved like a common
street walker.
She'd walk down to the main drag of this
part of the world & walk like a marionette with a string through her
tits.
When low-lives would respond in what she
perceived to be a postive manner (i.e. horn-honking, cat-calls & lewd
whistles),
then pull over, she'd 'chat them up' -
and if they seemed 'cool' to her, gave them my
phone number and/or address.
She prefers men with do-rags, tattoos &
piercings.
It wasn't her grammar was that of an inbred
idiot - 'don't got none' would have been refreshing.
She spent hours a day on the phone, mostly
with her boyfriend back in PA - but also with her mom, her dad
& pretty much anyone else she could
remember the phone number of. She initially claimed
that she had a phone card.
Guess what?
Jeez. I'm gonna have to find a paying
job or cut way back on groceries for a while.
The phrase 'thank you' never crossed her
lips once.
She never looked for a job, or into any
schooling.
Cripes, my dad would pay for anything closely
resembling an education for his only granddaughter.
But, she thinks there's a loophole just
around the bend, so who needs to do anything but float like a turd?
ha ha
It's hardly a commendable lifestyle, but
quite acceptable if your only hopes are to have indoor plumbing
and an income that keeps you below the
minimum to file a 1040 form.
So far, my husband has taken it like a martyr.
And that's not a good thing, coming from
a Methodist.
The first day she was here we went to collect
my son from school.
The kids made lots of comments the next
day - mostly cruel, blunt & based in reality.
But, talk about timing...
That next day, my son's class had their
'DARE graduation.'
That night, at dinner, Krista confessed
her 2 cocaine (yes, crack) and heroin addled years - all while serving
on the DARE committee at school.
From the land of where Bambi is called venison, considered good mighty
good eating (and a way to get back
at 'the man'), she's too young to write off.
But at the moment....
Ernestine Borgnine
Damn, that was funny.
If you had a web page, I'd enjoy linking to it.
Something on your mind?
Call the
Then listen for your voice on...
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Subject: Show #24 a total smash!! Woot Woo!!
Bart,
I am soooo relieved to hear BartCop Radio
"On
the air," once again.
Allelujia to the Almighty Koresh for Show
#24 - Brother, you had the fire in your belly,
and Tommy Mack was right on with
his commentary in your discussion session.
WOOT WOO!!!
It's one serious red letter day!
Bart, as a dedicated supporter, I can tell
you that your quality has improved 1042% since show #1
(heck, since show #12). Keep massaging
that format - the audience likes consistency
(I'm a marketing agent, after all), but
sometimes, your fire trumps that marketing BS.
Consider a Bart or Poker Fest in Memphis.
I'll do my best to roll out the red carpet
for you and ours.
My Paypal loving will not stop until MY
flow is cut off. The hammer must swing.
Your commitment to the truth is too valuable
to me and dozens of others (over 2200 registered
forum members at last count). I only wish
I could do more Maybe some day, brother Bart.
Yours in Democracy,
Monkeyfister
Subject: bin
Dear Bartcop,
This is my first time actually writing to
you, but I check your site several times a week and passionately adore
it.
I don't know if (and I doubt that) any
of my friends have attempted contact as of yet, but I figure it's worth
a shot
that you'll actually open this piece of
zeroes and ones and read it.
My name's Paige. I'm fifteen years old.
I live in Normal, IL, a town of passionate bible-thumpers and blatant Republicans.
The lesson plans at my high school almost
singularly consist of the teachers spewing out garbage from the Fox News
dumpster
and trying to connect it somehow to pronouns.
My best friends Erik and Kiri readily and wholeheartedly welcome anyone
into
our "Masterpieces of Lit" class if they
can look at and correctly pronounce the word "anguish" (or, even better,
not singularly
refer to Oedipus as "that O guy").
Don't get me wrong. We (we being the seven
"freakish" theatre/writing nerds who can correctly pronounce "anguish"
and
refer to Oedipus by his proper namesake)
love Normal, or love hating it at the very least. The town's horrifically
self-confident
idiocy gives us much more incentive to
watch the news everyday, to read the newspaper, to read as much as possible,
period,
and to look for what we can't find stacked
on the shelves of a Wal-Mart Supercenter. That being said, I would deeply
appreciate
and be honored if you were to pay a visit
to our website Pardon Your Stupidity (the name of which is a direct retaliation
to the
extremely right-wing site Pardon My English,
in which we first began our now refined art of opinion-spamming people's
"comments"
buttons). It would really be wonderful
if we could know our views were, for once, being heard and respected, even
if it was by
someone like us. We are not stupid teeny-boppers
trying to rebel against whatever's popular that week, and we're getting
really
sick of a place that treats us like we
are. Anyways, the website is www.pardonyourstupidity.blogspot.com
(we're working on
getting a real domain name; another disadvantage
of adolescence is the general state of Poor).
Thanks for the time, and keep on bartcoppin'.
You talk and people listen; even if you
don't reply or visit Pardon Your Stupidity,
I'll still be tuned into Bartcop. Every
week, rain or shine or Dubya B.
Signed and sealed with love and squalor,
Paige Osburn
Paige, nice page.
If I had your brains at 15, I'd own Oklahoma now.
One suggestion: Color has sex appeal.
I know you're too young to be into that yet, but color is your
friend.
Those gray links might be dificult for old people to see :)
Joe
Conason's Journal
There's no doubt that Halliburton considers Mars to be a potential
moneymaker
-- it's profited from the space program from the very beginning.
Excerpt:
In other words, NASA would pay Halliburton
and other firms billions of dollars to perform research
and development on Mars-bound technologies
that they would use for profitable exploration on this planet.
No doubt those scientific advances would
be useful here long before anybody lands on Mars.
We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com
Please send all advertising
e-mails to ads@bartcop.com
and please,
with every e-mail, send your name and URL and banner unless it's
already been run..
Subject: Show 24: great! Especially Mr. Blackwell!
Bart, part 3 of Show 24 was terrific. Back
on the old SCTV show, Dave Thomas
(as the critic Bill Needle) supposedly
called Mr. Blackwell and said, "Have you
looked at the way you dress?
You look like the head waiter at Stuckey's!"
And your comparison with Maureen Dowd is
perfect. Perhaps we should start
calling her "Mrs. Blackwell." After all,
just like her male counterpart, she's mostly
interested in getting attention.
So Tommy Mack and you are in different cities!
The wonders of the Internet
constantly astound me. You're
probably old enough to remember Chet Huntley
(in New York) and David Brinkley (in Washington).
"I'm proud to be an American...Please
squat over the device!" should be the Bartcop slogan.
(Give Barry Crimins a royalty for its use.)
Put it on a T-shirt with Monkey Boy holding a gun
on a lowly citizen, and a threatening-looking
"device" "erect"-ed on the ground.
Tom R
For the non-subscribers, Barry
Crimmins (D-Pro) sometimes sends us some comedy via the Bart-phone.
He did a thing about Dick Clark's New Years Eve in Times
Square where, he said,
"We heard the entire spectrum of patriotic
songs ranging from Toby Keith to Lee Greenwood."
And I knew that "Please squat over the device," would be a classic the first time I heard it.
Shopping online?
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000-
they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
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......
Wesley Clark
Howard Dean
John Kerry
Dennis Kucinich
Bart uses ctyme.com hosting because it's the best!
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright '© 2003, bartcop.com
I can't believe my equipment works.
We're going to drown you in radio shows.
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
http://www.bartcop.com/mirrors.htm
..
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Jointon
your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts
at humor.