Subscribe to Bartcop
Contact Us
|
|
|
|
Subscribe to Bartcop Contact Us |
America where are you now?
Don't you care about your sons and daughters?
Don't you know we need you now?
We can't fight alone against this monster...
Show 29 will be up as soon as Tommy is
|
In
Today's Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "I think the actions of the president are,
in my
|
 Support
Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK
74155  PayPal
to bartcop@bartcop.com |
Quotes
"I think the actions of the president are,
in my opinion, the most vile and
hateful words ever spoken by a sitting
president. I am stunned and I'm horrified."
--Rosie O'Donnell, the Bush-loving prostitute,
finally waking up to the fact that Bill Clinton
is her friend and the evil,
gay-hating Bush criminal is the enemy.
Attribution
Let's go back in time a year or so.
Rosie the back-stabber
Excerpt:
Fifth, the reason Clinton is the
most investigated man in history is because the old, white men
who think YOU
are a sexual deviate who shouldn't be allowed to mother children spent
hundreds of millions of dollars (including
the press) to dig deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
into his sex life, threatening everyone
they found with death in prison unless they gave up
some dirt on the best president you and
I have ever known.
Sixth, the reason these old, white
homophobic misogynists hated Clinton because he treated
blacks and gays with respect and he treated
them as equals. The GOP will spend ANY
amount of money to prevent blacks and gays
from becoming "normal" members of society.
Think about it, Rosie.
You say nice things about the homophobic
moron who stole the White House, but you
call Bill Clinton "disgusting" because
he was injured FIGHTING
YOUR WAR!
Excerpt:
Clear Channel fired Stern Tuesday, then
announced the next day it would suspend
any personality accused of airing
indecent programming and would ask its DJs to share
in any financial penalties. Also Wednesday,
it suspended broadcasts of the Howard Stern
show on its six stations that carry it,
citing sexually graphic content from Tuesday's broadcast.
We don't get Stern in the Godforsaken Christian Hellhole that
is Oklahoma,
but as far as I know, he played by the rules. No "F" word, that
kind of thing.
I guess Clear Channel and Freedom of Speech are
a mismatch.
Who have they gotten to replace Stern?
Rosie O'Donnell? No, she's gay.
Danny Bonaduce? No, he's been seen with a prostitute.
I'll bet Rude Rich has the scoop on this.
Stern
Blames Janet, GOP
Howard finally figured out the GOP and he aren't a match
Excerpt:
"They (Clear Channel) are being forced
to say that I did something wrong," he said on Thursday's broadcast.
"I'm under attack. They've been after me since
1992, and they're having their way with me," he said referring
to repeated troubles he has had with regulators.
"Then Janet Jackson whipped out her boob and it's all over."
Clear Channel complained that Stern asked
[Paris Hilton sex co-star] Salomon about anal sex and the size
of his penis. On Thursday, Stern thumbed
his nose at that complaint by replaying that segment on the air.
The GOP is always about less freedom.
With Howard Stern or Janet Jackson, people aren't free to enjoy
their work.
In San Francisco, people aren't free to be married if they want
to be.
With flowers growing out of the ground, people aren't free to
smoke them.
With family planning decisions, the GOP is muzzling your doctor
so he can't give you options.
In Bush's Amerikkka, you have to "watch what you say."
If John Ashcroft thinks you look like a terrorist, you'll never
see the sun again.
With Bush's tax cuts for the super-rich, you're not free to get
a job.
The list is endless.
The GOP wants bigger government on your back forever.
Quotes
"The Holy Spirit was working through
me as I made this movie."
-- Mel Gibson, tool of the Holy Spirit?
Attribution
Subject: Geronimo's skull
Have you ever run anything on that wacky
-- but apparently completely true -- story
about Bush's grandfather Prescott coming
to Oklahoma back in the day to grave-rob
Geronimo's skull to use as a trophy in
the S&B clubhouse at Yale?
Jerry the LA DJ
Jerry, no, but that sounds like something a Bush would do.
Visit www.deckofbush.com for your deck today!
..
When
I think about
deserters,
I go berzerk!
Excerpt:
Every journalist worthy of the name, instead
of attacking Michael Moore and Clark should be outraged
at the fact that Bush, an AWOL Deserter
has become Commander in Chief and is using his power to
recklessly send beautiful trusting and
believing heroic men and women to be maimed and slaughtered in
Iraq for no reason other than The Bush
Doctrine and Halliburton Oil.
Isn't it a thousand times more important
for the future of America that the press vigorously investigate
whether or not the President really was
an AWOL Deserter than to irresponsibly make charges against
Clark and Moore for simply telling the
truth? Here is the definitive proof Bush was a Deserter.
Go Billy Jack - who knew?
Dallas
denounces Bush's Patriot Act
Dallas joins three states and 225 local governments against
Bush's Patriot Act
Excerpt:
The measure states that city officials
will uphold citizens' constitutional rights and monitor the
implementation of the act. It has been
criticized by some civil-rights organizations, including the
Bill of Rights Defense Committee, which
was represented at the council meeting by dozens of
people dressed in blue shirts and waving
small American flags
How embarrassing for the never-elected, self-proclaimed King from Texas.
Subject: Debate fun
Bartcop, wanna have some fun?
Challenge Vince Vaughn to a debate.
Yes, the guy from "Swingers".
He is a HARDCORE Rethug Bush apologist,
I am told he actively looks to debate liberals
and has been known to scream at people
in elevators.
Give him the red ass, Bart.
Signed
LibGuy who knows Vince
Libguy, I'd be happy to straighten him out.
Hell, I'd give $100 to his favorite charity
(but not the NRA)
if he'd step forward and take his punishment.
Vince, if you're willing to BET on BUSH,
let's me and you do some gamblin'.
To be fair, let's put a $10,000 limit on
your losses.
ha ha
Trust me, Vince Vaughn.
If you take this dare, you'll have to write
around me in your memoirs.
Trust me, Vince Vaughn, make the smart move
and stay far, far away.
The last thing you want to hear is my bugling with
your ass wrapped 'round my boot.
Click for a great short movie
Quotes
"Mel Gibson is a real nut case. What in the
world was I thinking
when I created him? Listen, we all
make mistakes."
-- God, speaking through Andy Rooney on 60
Minutes Attribution
Richard
Perle Quits Pentagon Advisory Board
Uber-hawk too embarrassing for Bush campaign
Excerpt:
Noted hawk Richard Perle has quit the Pentagon's
Defense Policy Board after 17 years,
saying he wants to press his views without
becoming an election-year burden for the Bush administration.
Widely considered a driving force behind
the Bush invasion of Iraq against world opinion, Perle faced questions
about conflicts of interest for his representation
of companies with business before the Dept of Defense.
Perle became known as the "Prince of Darkness"
for his hardline views on the old Soviet Union during a stint
as an assistant secretary of defense for
international security affairs in the 1980s under Ronald Reagan.
Perle leaving with the blood of 550 soldiers on his hands - all for no reason other than greed.
Subject: Democrats
Democrat candidates rarely project into
the future specifics about what they would do and how they would handle
matters.
Not one of them has said how differently
they would handle the terrorism problem.
Sure they have - Clark said he would go
after bin Laden, not invade Iraq.
There was no reason to invade Iraq, but
we have almsot 3,000 reasons to get bin Laden.
Why don't you want him caught?
Do you feel better now that Bush had almost
murdered Baghdad?
The only economic change they have suggested is raising taxes on people.
When Clinton raised taxes on the richest
1.5 percent, we had the biggest boom in history.
When Bush cut taxes for the richest 1.5
percent, we got this job-killing recession.
Can you read a chart?
The crazy part is, those 3,000,000 people
with no jobs?
Some of them will vote for Bush because,
like you, they don't care how much of a disaster he is.
But probably 2.5 million of them will vote
against Bush so they can get their jobs back.
They are devoid of futuristic views.
That is why Bush will likely get a second term.
Bob Blooger
I know Rush said that yesterday - do you
have any thoughts of your own?
Unless you are in the top 1.5 percent,
you
are paying back the money that Bush gave to the super-rich.
Why are you happy to give the super-rich
your money?
Marty's Entertainment Page
Subject: No WMD?
Bart,
Everyone is getting tired of you and your
Democrat buddies saying
Iraqi WMDs do not exist because our inspectors
have not found any.
We also have not found Osama bin Laden.
Does that mean he doesn't exist either?
Ken Wright, monkey in training
No, it means Bush is an bloodthirsty fool who got 550 brave soldiers
killed on
a hunch that turned out to be as wrong as France and other allies
said it would be.
Tell me, how many hundreds or thousands
or tens of thousands of men and women
should we sacrifice to "free" Iraq from
Saddam's grip?
Put another way, assuming 500 names per
link, how many links do you think
the Iraq Senseless War Memorial in Washington
DC should have?
Subject: Tiger Woods
As for the Tiger issue, perhaps you don't
understand the similarities, or more importantly, the vast differences
in Professional Golf compared with other
sports. Very rarely in golf do you have a truely dominant player
that
not only consistantly wins regular tournaments,
but also shows a consistant winning percentage in the Majors.
The likes of Hogan, Snead, Jones, Palmer,
Nicklaus, Player, Travino, Watson and the like were all at one time
such players. The greatest of them
all is still clearly Jack. And until someone wins at least 18 Majors,
he will
still be considered the greatest player
to pick up a club. However, until the early 90s, golf wasn't very
"cool",
and the talent pool didn't go very deep
year in and year out. Now, however, you have at least 100 guys that
can
win each week. As this concerns Tiger,
his winning percentage is unsurpassed by any of his peers, and he is the
only modern player to have a realistic
shot at overtaking Jack's Major winning total. Yet, in golf, the
nature of the
game dictates that it is virtually impossible
to win every time out. The game is far too fickle.
So, perhaps cutting him some slack would be well advised, if only to not show any ignorance of the subject on your part...
Don
Don, great point - that makes my point better than I have so far.
In high stakes poker, for example, there are maybe 30 great,
great players.
Due to the nature of poker, one can't be expected to win every
time, so nobody
has earned the title of "greatest in
the world" because any player can easily
lose the next twenty tournaments in a row, even if he's one of
the greats.
In poker, you can be known as "one of
the greats," but nobody is considered "the
greatest,"
so maybe the golf world, Nike, Buick, CBS and the Madison Avenue
hype machine need to dial it
back on Tiger since we both agree it's unrealistic to expect
him to win with any kind of regularity.
Nader: The saddest man in the world
Excerpt:
The saddest man in the world is also the
most persistently, if impossibly, idealistic.
Who else in politics, when asked about
the plight of migrant workers, can cite one
of his own articles on the very subject
from 1950? To fully appreciate Nader, one need
only imagine the world without him.
The linchpin of his platform today is that
America's biggest problem is the two political
parties, which, he says, are equally indentured
to corporations. At age 70, Nader offers
himself as the other necessary voice, the
one indebted only to humans.
Subject: The 9-11 commission
Dear Elected Representatives, Leaders of
the Senate and the House of Representatives,
and Members of the 9/11 Investigation Commission:
The refusal of the leaders of the House
and Senate to allow the 9/11 Investigation Commission
an extension of their time to complete
their report is inexcusable. The dead, their families and friends,
and indeed all of America, deserve the
best that can be done. The Commission has stated that in order
to do the best and most complete job on
this investigation, they need more time. To refuse, for whatever
reason, to provide that time is immoral,
unethical and monumentally disrespectful to all Americans.
I urge you to do whatever is in your power
to ensure that the 9/11 Commission is given full cooperation
by all levels of government, and whatever
time and resources are necessary to complete their work.
The timing of the reports and the timing
of elections should not be connected, and this arbitrary and
punitive denial of adequate time is clearly
politically motivated.
I vote.
The families of the dead vote.
Do the right thing, regardless of your party affiliation or re-election status, because it is the right thing to do.
Sincerely,
Holly Cochran, M.S.
From: carson
Subject: ready to debate
If you tell me to go to a chatroom I will
do it.
Frankly I don't know how to go to a chat
room so I would need monkey instructions.
Not a problem.
I needed help getting in, too.
Whereupon I arrive I will only throw hardballs
and fruit.
I may even ask questions you could never
answer, such as Who did Reagan supposedly rape?
Please don't throw fruit.
The claimant's name is Selene Walters,
from the Kitty Kelly book on Nancy Reagan.
Excerpt:
"He pushed his way inside
and said he just had to see me. He forced me on the couch . . . and said,
'Let's just get
to know each other.' It was the most pitched battle I've ever had, and
suddenly in a
matter of seconds
I lost. . . . They call it date rape today. . . ."
Now, unlike the hundred of talk radio Nazis
who were in the room with Bill & Monica, I can't swear Reagan
raped
that poor woman who needed a job from her
president. But if I bring up Walter's no-proof accusation 100,000 times,
it wouldn't even equal one percent
of the horrific lies your side told about Clinton for over a decade.
You dirty accusing baboon!
ha ha
Oh, it will comfort you to know I'm very
polite in the debates.
I even let the victim
opponent get a shot or two in for free, because due to the danger present,
I feel an obligation to be extra-civil
and polite. If the other guy can't meet that standard,
and that's happened a time or two, we just
call off the debate and print the results.
But seriously, I'm very calm and mannerly
in the debates. I'm sure every debate we've ever had
was archived the next day on the page,
but dumbass that I am, the file was named something like
032202deb.htm for a March 22 debate
so finding them is a real Rosie O'Donnell..
When this great debate takes place is up
in the air. If you would like, I will go to others
on the net whom I have familiarity and
then they can get an eyefull as well.
ha ha
Dude, ...you sure you want friends to see
this?
It might be a little like the ending of
"The Passion of the Christ"
You got your own cut man?
Just kidding!
Do you have the heart for it?
More importantly, will you do it?
Carson
Dude, that ringing you hear is my bells.
As much as we've corresponded, this should be pretty good.
Two rules:
You have to admit Bush the Smarter
pardoned 6 Iran-Contra guys after he lost in 1992.
You bring the fight to
me.
Put my ideas on trial, bring your case before the jury of dozens.
Lots of my people are pulling for you. They want to see me get
slapped around.
Let's not get there and you ask, "So,
what'cha wanna talk about?"
My writings have caused you to write perhaps 40 challenge e-mails.
Spend a few minutes, put your thoughts together and make complaint
41
your most coherent work ever!
From yesterday's page:
> The chat room is still there.
> Start at The
Forum
> Once you get in, click on "Chat" in the lower left of the masthead.
Once there,
> Click on "BartCop Chat" in the upper right corner and agree when
it asks you questions.
How about Monday night - 9 PM CST.
If not, maybe Thursday night 9 PM CST.
If not, pick a time.
I promise it will be friendly until after you go crazy.
My boot hasn't tasted any good monkey in over a week.
(That's just some sizzle to get people invested
in this cyner-bloodbath)
A family-friendly sample of Show 28
It's about Halliburton's crimes and it's two minutes long.
It's the cleaner, more mainstream BartCop Radio
Delivered to your door - ready to play in your car or home
stereo.
All shows after Show 28 will be as clean as an edition of The
Daily Show. but not as funny.
Order your CDs today!
Got no speakers in your computer?
That's OK - these play in your car -
like magic!
BartCop Radio Shows on CD for just
Currently shipping shows 27
(Double-wide) 28
(Five parts) 29
(Double-wide)
professionally mixed by
Tommy Mack. That's
5 CDRs for $24. Cheeeeap.
Remember, if you PayPal, mention your address.
Click Here to send us your review of the most recent show.
Announcement
Greg Palasts' CD release party tonight, Feb 27th at CB'S Gallery in NYC.
Click Here for details of the big party tonight in New York City. Tell Greg "Bart says Hey!"
House
Passes Unborn Victims Legislation
Religious insanity is sweeping America like a tidal wave
Excerpt:
The House voted Thursday to treat attacks
on a pregnant woman as separate crimes
against both her and the fetus she is carrying.
Critics say it would undermine abortion
rights by giving fetuses new federal legal
status.
"There are two victims in these kinds of attacks,"
said Rep. Melissa Hart, (R-Insane),
chief sponsor of the legislation. "That
is so clear from the Laci and Conner Peterson case."
This is such a terribly bad idea.
Here's what this could mean if it actually becomes a law:
A pregnant woman falls on a patch of ice walking to her car and
miscarries her seven month fetus.
Then Crazy Ashcroft orders the Justice Department to put her
on trial for manslaughter because,
in his opinion, she should have known about the ice. Therefore,
her negligence killed the "baby."
This is what you get when the fetus has rights.
You can say, "Ashcroft would never do
that," which is crazy - trusting Ashcroft to be sane.
You can say, "That would hardly ever
happen," but that doesn't help the young mother who
just got eleven years for suffering a miscarriage.
Blair
caught spying on UN
Criminal PM is out of control like America's king
Excerpt:
The United Nations said Thursday that alleged
British spying on Secretary-General Kofi Annan's office,
if true, is illegal and must be stopped.
It was the world body's first official reaction
to the charge by Clare Short, a former member of Blair's Cabinet,
that Britain spied on Annan in the run-up
to last year's Iraq war, when Bush and Blair tried unsuccessfully to get
U.N. authorization to attack Saddam Hussein.
Short said she had read transcripts of Annan's conversations.
..
...
Me
and my Poodle don't have to obey no damn laws.
Subject: McCrucifixion
Bart;
As both a former Catholic and a former fast
food employee (i coulda been a manufacturer!)
here is my humble gift to you for your
recent birthday:
Top Ten McDonald's tie-ins for Mel's The Passion:
#10-McDonald Land characters Passion re-creation
set, the Hamburglar as Pontius Pilate, Ronald as Jesus, etc...
#9-Collectable glasses featuring different
Biblical torture devices
#8-Miniature Biblical torture devices
inside Happy Meals
#7-Monopoly-inspired/ticket collection
game based on the stations of the cross
#6-A free meal for anyone carrying
a cross thru the drive-thru
#5-Free feet washing with purchase
of a salad
#4-"Body of Christ" Egg McMuffins
#3-"Blood of Christ" flavored milk
shakes (colored red of course)
#2-Ronald McDonald statues will now
be mounted on crosses
...and the Number One McDonald's tie-in for The Passion movie:
Free Happy Meal for any child under 5
with the stigmata
Enjoy and congratulations on keeping the
hammer going all these years.
EvilEVILDoer
............................................
Click to Enter
Whose
Ass I Want To Kick Next
This Week: That Beeyotch Condi Rice
by The Donald Rumsfeld
Excerpt:
After all these years of service I've given
to this damn country. After all the wrongs I've had to right.
All the knuckleheads I've had to smarten
up and clocks I've had to clean. All the desk jockeys I've had
to ride to get this nation running smooth
again. It's finally come to this.
People are ignoring Donald Rumsfeld.
Like I don't even friggin exist. They're
all acting like I'm on some kind of pay-no-mind list.
Central Air Media must hire Mike Malloy
Click Here to sign the petition. We need Mike back on the air.
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com
It pays to advertise on bartcop.com
Make your deal today before March 1, when campaign prices take effect.
Same cheap prices until March 1
Click to take advantage
Study: 10,667 Children Report Abuse by Priests
How many tens of thousands of victims have so far refused
to come forward?
I know very little about this awful crime, but I do know that
a pedophile doesn't stop at 2.2 children.
IF
4,392 priests are guilty, I imagine 25 victims per priest is more practical
than 2.2
...and to this day, they fight the zero-tolerance rule.
Subject: 100 kinds of tequila
Bart,
At Café Iguana in Singapore,
one can sample over 100 different kinds of tequila.
They have a separate tequila menu, broken
down into three sections: Blanco, Reposado and Anejo.
Each section has two areas, highland tequilas
and lowland tequilas. There is even a short glossary
at the beginning of the menu to orient
the neophytes. Each menu entry is followed by a short review
reminiscent of those found in your finer
wine menus. Very nice.
I'm proud to say that I've visited this
fine establishment on several occasions and I have tasted at least 40%
of their stock.
The next time you're in Singapore, you'll
have to visit them.
Sincerely,
Rob
PS: They carry both Chinaco Reposado and
Anejo.
Rob, thanks for that.
Bush's
American soldier body count in Iraq
Bush lied, and caused 549
American lives lost - and counting.
Feel like a cold slap in the face?
I went there and started shaking so I got out.
Maine
Guardsmen ship out
The brother of a pillar prepares to join Bush's war
Excerpt:
The deployment is scheduled to last 18
months.
Quotes
"President Bush announced he would support
a Constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage.
Bush said it's wrong for two men to
publicly express their love, unless they're trying to get into a fraternity."
--Conan O'Brien, Attribution
Something on your mind?
Call the
Then listen for your call on...
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to speak your piece.
Quotes
"The president launched a war today against
the civil rights of gay citizens and their families.
And just as importantly, he launched
a war to defile the most sacred document in the land."
--Andrew Sullivan, who
worked, lied and whored himself to help elect this madman, Attribution
As we step up the pace of ,
we have another expense:
We put $3687 on the credit card for a new Mac G5 and monitor
so Tommy can edit radio shows,
(Hey - I finally bought a Mac! :)
$3678 - total cost of new package.
$2618 - amount raised - with 6 interest-free days
to go.
If you'd care to donate, you could contribute via PayPal
by
Clicking
Here
(Oddly, it helps if you send an abby-normal amount, like $51
instead of $50)
If you prefer the mail, our address is bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
in the can and being processed by
the new Mac .
Extra thank yous to the subscribers and Mac donators.
Your contributions allow us to continue beating up the Bush monkey
and his Nazi gangsters.
Garry Trudeau
offers $10K to anyone
who saw
Bush show up in the ANG
Click for
reward details
Martha Stewart Judge Drops Fraud Charge
Excerpt:
The judge threw out securities fraud charges
against Martha, saying prosecutors
had failed to present sufficient evidence
to allow the jury to decide the matter.
Stewart still faces charges that she lied
to investigators looking into her stock sale.
Stewart also still faces charges of obstruction
of justice and making false statements.
At this point, I could win this trial for Martha.
The obstruction of justice charge
was filed because she said, "I'm innocent."
Stewart's team can ignore the making false
statements charge, because they
charged her with lying about a different question than the notes
reflect.
They asked Martha if she remembered what time her broker
called. She said no,
so they charged her with lying about what he told her
- not the time he called.
Shopping online?
Use this portal
and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
If you spend $250,000
-
they'll send bartcop.com $10,000.
|
||||||
Click to Order
..
....
..
...
Wesley Clark Betty
Bowers & more John Kerry
Michael Moore Eric Alterman
Kevin Phillips
|
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
Show 29 is almost ready
E-mail us at bartcop@bartcop.com
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
http://www.bartcop.com/mirrors.htm
..
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
on
your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts
at humor.
