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In Today's Treehouse... Outlaw homosexuality? Spain spinned blame Nat'l parks slash services Tom Targee a great hero Monkey Mail  Halliburton caught AGAIN! Russian election like ours Nader for Bush - again When Love goes bad Quote of the Day "He's given me a lot of thoughts. He's had    some very astute observations. He's one of    the smartest observers of American politics.''       -- John Kerry, about Bill Clinton   Attribution

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Quotes

"We are still bogged down in Iraq and the administration stubbornly holds to failed policies
  that drive potential allies away. What we have seen is a steady loss of lives and mounting cost
  in dollars with no end in sight. Today we know that the mission is not finished, hostilities have
  not ended, and our men and women in uniform fight on almost alone with the target squarely on
  their backs. Every day they face danger and death from suicide bombers, roadside bombers,
  and now, ironically, from the very Iraqi police they are training."
    -- John Kerry, listing a few of Bush's weak points  Attribution

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Tennessee county where a teacher was famously tried in 1925 for teaching evolution in the
 Scopes "Monkey Trial" is now trying to outlaw homosexuality.

 Rhea County Commissioner J.C. Fugate introduced the measure during a commissioners meeting
 on Tuesday, asking for an amendment to Tennessee's criminal code so homosexuals can be charged
 with crimes against nature.

 The audience applauded the motion, and the Rhea County commissioners approved the request 8-0.
 
 

 No wonder Gore couldn't carry Tennessee - and no wonder Bush won it.
 Damn, even Oklahoma hates gays less than Tennessee.

 Quotes

"Hell no. Who cares?
  Let's kill him - he was annoying."
    -- Julie 'Catwoman' Newmar when asked about Robin's relationship to Batman in Wednesday's USA Today

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 In the first frantic hours after coordinated bomb blasts ripped through commuter trains Thursday,
 the Aznar government undertook an intense campaign to convince the Spanish public and world
 opinion-makers that the Basque separatist group ETA had carried out the attacks.
 

 Beginning immediately after the blasts, Aznar and others telephoned journalists, stressing ETA's
 responsibility and dismissing speculation that Islamic extremists might be involved.

 Within days, Aznar's assertion was in tatters, and with it the reputation and fortunes of the ruling party.
 Suspicion that the government manipulated information -- blaming ETA in order to divert any possible link
 between the bombings and Aznar's unpopular support for the war helped fuel the upset victory. By then,
 Islamic extremists linked to al Qaeda had become the focus of the investigation.
 

 Sounds to me like Spain, unlike the United States, has a free press.

 Quotes

"They're going to drop pianos on Kerry's head. It's going to be very distasteful,
  and you're going to see as negative a campaign as you've ever seen on the Bush side."
    --John Weaver, political director to McCain's campaign against Bush in 2000, who has left
     the Republican Party, is informally advising Kerry and may go to work for Kerry  Attribution

 Cost crunch will force national parks to slash services
  The whole country is going to hell for Bush's tax cuts

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Visitors to national parks this summer will find reduced ranger staff, services and visitor center hours,
 say a pair of new reports by two groups critical of the Bush administration's park policy.

 Though the budget for park services has continued to rise, spending for homeland security and additional
 expenditures to cover natural disasters have pinched the National Park Service and forced cost-cutting.

"We're on the verge of crossing the line to where the public will notice" service cuts, the Park Service says.
 

 When Bush is done, drilling for oil is all those parks will be good for.

 Subject: your lost credibility

 So I show my buddy the email I was going to send to the great Bart and he says,
"No way he's going to print all of that ..." and I says, "Naw, he may not print it at all,
 but if he does, he'll print it all 'cause he prides himself on his ability to take on all comers
 and give 'em the 'red ass'."

 I was so sure of your integrity that I bet him five bucks.
 So as of yesterday, both my five bucks and your integrity are down the toilet.

 This is how you give 'em the red ass? You line veto the emails?
 Slice up my message, removing all the facts and reasoning behind the points I was trying to make?

 No, but when an e-mail goes on and on and on I have to shorten it.
 Have I ever said, "I'll print your opus no matter how damn long it is?"

 You really told me.
 Matt Zebell
 

 By the way, betting $5 that I'd even see your e-mail was betting on a long shot.
 Do you play poker?

 The great St Louis fire of 1849

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Thomas Targee - A true hero, this 41-year-old auctioneer was also Captain of Volunteer Fire Company No. 5.
 On May 17, 1849, fire began to sweep the steamboats docked along the St. Louis riverfront.  The flames quickly
 spread to the warehouses and old colonial buildings on shore.  Targee surmised that the only way to save the city
 was to blow up some of the buildings in the path of the fire, in essence creating a firebreak.  He kissed his wife
 and children good-bye, then he went to the Arsenal and requisitioned the necessary kegs of gunpowder.

 He and his men blew up three buildings, and Targee determined that Nathaniel Phillips' music store at 42 N. Main
 would be the fourth and last.  He took a keg of powder upon his shoulder and ran into the already burning building,
 and seconds later there was a terrific explosion.  Thomas Targee had given his life in the line of duty.

..

 Thomas Targee saved that great old church, and how was he remembered?

 They named a street after him for ten years, then took his name off so they could re-name the
 street 'Johnson Street' after a well-known St. Louis businessman and lawyer who defended
 political boss Ed Butler in a bribery trial (probably a Republican) late in the 19th century..
 

 A handful of people got a one year subscription for getting that name, and others got a free month.

 Subject: Christian Livemore's wrongful termination

 While not a resident of Effington County I am nonetheless disgusted with your decision to
 fire Ms. Livemore over her reporting of your county politics. I know you deny this was the
 reason for the dismissal of an award winning reporter but such denials are disingenuous as
 the resignation of Mr. Saraf so aptly reveals.

 As the voice of your community you should be ashamed at kow-towing to your local
 politicians who now feel more enabled than ever to operate unhindered by scrutiny.
 You have done Effington a great diservice in my opinion.

 Sincerely,
 Charles F
 

 Clarification: The ethically challenged Karen Tankeley of the Effingham Herald fired Christian Livemore.

 The good folks at the Savannah Morning News had the integrity to run the story of her firing.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Pentagon said on Wednesday it would withhold payment on 15 percent of meal bills
 from Halliburton under a logistics contract in Iraq that is under military auditors' scrutiny.

 The withheld funds cover meals provided by Halliburton to troops in Kuwait and Iraq.
 If $300 million were withheld, the total expected to be billed for meals would be about $2 billion.
 
 

 Look at the amounts of money they're stealing.
 The BFEE gets $2 billion a month and you know they're hiring workers from the Phillipines
 and Pakistan for $2 a day and stealing hundreds of millions of dollars every damn month
 and they don't even know how to handle food - they just farm the contracts out to others.

..

 The BFEE is stealing hundreds of millions per month on just food.
 Now - factor in laundry and gasoline and long distance services and they're
 stealing billions every month and the Democrats are afraid to bring it up.

...
 This is a urinal at JFK airport in New York

  Click  Here
 

 This has to be a gag - doesn't it?
 You women that got upset when we saw Janet's breast - you should be outraged
 and demanding that these be removed yesterday. I can't think of a bigger insult to women.

 The story (if you click) has this line:
 Urinals shaped like a woman's mouth, dolled up with red lipstick, wide open and ready for business.

 Isn't this an outrage?

 Subject: Iraqi war deaths

 Bart, you recently ran a link to Joe Vial's web site describing how he believes the
 actual number of dead US soldiers in Iraq is far greater than that being reported.
 People then wrote in terribly upset that you had linked to such an obviously anti-Semitic site.

 I tend to believe the truth is somewhere in between the official Pentagon numbers and Joe's.
 Why?  Well think about it. Have you heard a single report of deaths from the Iraq war that
 were not the direct result of an attack? I mean, c'mon, our military doctors are good, but they
 are not miracle workers. Why is it that we've not heard one report to the tune of "two soldiers
 died today in Baghdad hospital as the result of injuries they received in a grenade attack last week"?

 I've searched and found none. Not one report of a soldier dying from injuries received earlier.
 Does that mean if a soldier does not die immediately on the battlefield he/she has a 100% chance of survival?
 Thems pretty good odds. Not very believable though. It that were true, Bush &Co.  would be parading that
 around every day as a testament to the spectacular abilities of the modern US Military.

 Am I the only one whose considered this? Why has no-one even asked this question?

 What really bugs me is that the Pentagon obviously feels the need to hide the truth.
 Worse still, they apparently know they can get away with it.
 We've really got to get rid of these bastards.

 Keep swingin the Hammer of Truth.

 Bob J
 Pl
 

 Bob, Bush is such a petty tyrant, anyone who files a report telling the truth about the war dead
 would be banned from the White House along with their network or newspaper.

 Russia Election Said Not to Be Democratic

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 European observers said Monday that Russia's election fell short of democratic
 standards, citing vote count flaws and biased news coverage that kept incumbent
 Vladimir Putin's rivals out of the spotlight.

 In their report, observers said state-controlled media displayed a "clear bias" in favor
 of Putin, lavishing the incumbent with overwhelmingly positive coverage in amounts
 "far beyond what was reasonably proportionate to his role as head of state."
 

 ...just like in America, the state-run press lavished The Monkey with praise while
 attacking his opponent and magnifying any flaws while covering for the incumbemt.

 Subject: Clinton worship

 Dear Bartcop,

 Love ya, love yer page, always have. That's why it saddens me to have to take you out to the woodshed.

 ha ha
 This should be good.

 I understand why you love Clinton so much, but the guy wasn't Gawd, fer Gawd's sake.
 I always tell the wing-nuts, who base all of their hatred for Clinton on a combination of religious insanity
 and sexual prudishness, that there are good reasons to hate Clinton, mainly GATT and NAFTA, which
 brings us to your caning: every time somebody brings up globalization and Clinton's role in it, you go all
 G W Bush on us and say "Gee whiz, golly gosh, I don't know nuthin' 'bout that globulerzation stuff, don't ask me."

 Do you really think you can continue to defend your idol by feigning ignorance on the worst thing to happen
 to American workers since Hoover? Nobody wanted anything to do with globalization until a slick talking
 southern boy came along and sold it to America. Do your research. I respect your opinion and would like
 to hear it on this subject.

 Kirk R.
 

 Kirk, why don't you explain it to me.
 If they are as evil as you say, you should be able to explain the threat in 200 words or so.

 Please give facts, not opinions. "GATT and NAFTA are terrible" is not an argument.  Remember, I'm looking
 for your words. If you feel that strongly about it, you must be able to explain why instead of sending me a flood of
 URLs about what others have said. You can use URL's to support your words, but I want your thoughts.

 Convince me, and if you send a bunch of wild assertions - I'll print that and we'll see
 who gets taken to the woodshed. I'm not angry, I'm just raising the bet.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 When the Bush campaign unveiled an ad called "100 Days," it was a shot across the press' bow:
 if we put up an ad with an utter fabrication in it, will you call us on it? They got a clear answer: NO.
 Bush and Kerry both now understand that the press has given them permission to lie.
 

 Who - in the year 2004 - would expect the American press do to their jobs and be honest?
 Whores don't know what 'honest' means - they just want more money.

 Quotes

"The international community had a serious credibility problem where it came to WMDs
  and the willingness to enforce tough resolutions, and what the president and the coalition
  did was to rescue that credibility and to finally enforce the will of the international community
  of states that had been there for 12 years."
      --Condi Rice, lying on "Meet the Press"  Attribution
 

 "Rescuing the international community's credibility?"

 Did she really tell that crazy of a lie to her boss's puppet, Tim the whore?
 Telling the UN, "Go to hell - we're going to murder Baghdad and we don't need a reason,"
 is not rescuing anything except America from sound foreign policy.

 I can imagine Russert's response:

..
 

 Subject: thanks for the laughs

 Bart,

 I just wanted to thank you for the hilarious red-ass you gave to monkey idiot Tom Wright in issue #1272.
 You gave him the spankdown he so obviously needed and as a fellow poker player I must say that:

> You're going "all in" on the sanity of Anne Heche?

  ...is the funniest single line you've had yet this year.  Great stuff.

 Looking forward to the next PokerFest  (I still should've won the first one.  Oh well...)

 Keep Hammerin'
 Mick  "the voice"

 Quotes

"This remains a time of testing in Iraq. The stakes are high, the terrorists know
  the stakes are high. But they will not prevail. We will meet this test with strength
  and with resolve. Democracy is taking root in Iraq and there is no turning back."
     --Scott McClellan,   Attribution
 

 Wow!
 I've lived long enough to hear Scott McClellan tell the truth.

 There's no turning back on the costs or the numbers of American dead - we're stuck there
 until every religious nut blows up himself and takes someone else with him.

 Gambling Gus Hansen, the best I've ever seen, was on last night's poker telecast.

 He plays like he's angry with his money and wants to punish it by giving it away,
 which scares the others so much they fold rather than trangle with him. They called
 Gus "the Poker Tramp" because he'll play any hand at any time against any player

 Sidebar:
 Like the Queer Eye guys, the World Poker Tour has become white hot.
 They used to have small potatoe* advertisers, but this year they have AmEx,
 Staples, Budweiser, Circuit City, Hotwire.com, AVIS Rent-a-Car and more.
 Maybe someday  bartcop.com  will have sponsors like that  - ha ha
 Yeah, the day I turn GOP fascist whore I'll bet I could snag some of them.

 
 My man Gus lost betting on an Ace-Queen when his opponent had an Ace-King
 but it was very exciting poker.

 Subject: Show 30

 My goodness - just got finished listening and it was great.  I was afraid that you would lose your edge
 by cleaning up the language, but I was wrong.  It was hard hitting and you gave them hell, just as they deserve.
 
 I liked hearing Tally's rant.  I don't hear women's issues being raised very much, but as one who is old enough
 to remember before Roe, I think that should be one of the top issues in this campaign.  And remember, it's not
 just abortion these religious wingnuts are opposed to, they also oppose the birth control pill because if works
 after fertilization by preventing the egg from embedding in the uterus.  And they oppose condoms because it
 may encourage sex, and so on.  These people are nuts.  They won't be happy til women have no control over
 their own bodies at all.
 
 Keep up the good fight.

 Elains.
 

 All thru the 2000 campaign, I wanted Gore to talk about women losing their right to an abortion.
 Kerry should guarantee women they'll lose Roe if Bush wins - because it's true.
 
 Will Kerry have the courage to do it?

 Nun Faces Jail for Drunk Tractor Driving
  saw it on   http://www.ebloggy.com

 WARSAW - A Polish Benedictine nun is facing jail for driving a tractor into a car
 while drunk outside her convent in southwestern Poland, police said on Friday.

 The 45-year-old nun will be charged with drunk-driving and causing an accident,
 which carries a prison sentence of up to two years, Dariusz Waluch, police spokesman
 in the southwestern Polish town of Dzierzoniow, told local news agency PAP.

 He said the nun was 17 times over the country's legal alcohol limit for driving.

  Click  Here

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 Subject: you're no Jew hater

 Bart,

You are not a Jew hater.
 The worst I could ever say is you are a bit simplistic about the whole Israel thing,
 in that, you seriously expect them all to move to Oklahoma.

 No, only the ones who want their children to grow up.
 People who choose sacred sand over their kid's lives baffle me..

 If anything, you tilt a bit towards Israel in the Israel/Palestine conflict.

 It's true I'm not a fan of suicide bombers on a school bus.

 Bart, you know this is the issue from hell. I want you to know that I'm sorry I haven't sent
 a contribution in over a year. Part of the reason is your simplicity vis-a-vis Israel. I'm not a
 water-carrier for Sharon, far from it. I think Sharon=Bush. The difference is, the *true*
 Jew haters can't make that separation. To them, Sharon=all Israelis=all Jews=evil.

 I'll talk to you by and by,
 (withheld)

 There are lots of reasons not to donate/subscribe, but my position on Israel
 shouldn't be one of them because my secular sanity means I mostly have no opinion.

..

 From: Mellisa Jimenez

 Not only will your criminal activities be rooted out by the FEC but come November your Asses
 will be in a sling with the biggest loss of a Party to an incumbent in U.S. History.

 California is a loss because we'll stop you with referendums and a Govenator to go over your empty heads.
 As John Lennon said "If you go Kerry-ing pictures of Chairman Mao, you aint gonna make it with anyone anyhow".

 Your plantation mentality will lose the Black vote. Your elitism has lost the Southern Vote.
 Your irrelevance makes you irrational. All it really takes to beat a Dumocrat are FACTS
 and a dictionary so that you will know what the word "is" means. Got that.

 "F" You Very Much
 Melisa Jimenez
 

 Mellisa, how nice it is to hear from you.
 Monkeyettes rarely speak up because they're from a party where women aren't allowed to have opinions.
 (Did you know Bush's wife and mother are baby killers? Probably not - they were told to be silent.)

 You know what?
 I'll bet you could tear me apart in our live chat room - would you enjoy doing that?
 I'm free tonight at 9 PM CST - are you?

 By the way - do you kiss your kids with that filthy mouth?
 I'd hate to see them get something you picked up in a bar.

 ...and you might want to bring some KY and some salve
 for your ass, because my boot is a Size 11.

 Poll shows Nader could hurt Kerry in Pennsylvania

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 In the three-way race, Republican Bush is supported by 44 percent of the state's voters,
 compared with 40 percent for Democrat Kerry and 7 percent for Nader, according to the poll
 by the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute. Eight percent were undecided.

 Without Nader in the race, Kerry and Bush would be running even - with 45 percent and
 44 percent respectively - and 7 percent of the voters were undecided, the poll found.
 

 Next to Osama, Nader is the best friend Bush ever had.

..

 McCain says Kerry not weak on defense
  Nor is his election a threat to national security

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"This kind of rhetoric, I think, is not helpful in educating and helping the American people make a choice,"
 McCain said on CBS. "You know, it's the most bitter and partisan campaign that I've ever observed.
 I think it's because both parties are going to their bases rather than going to the middle. I regret it."
 

 John Mccain - a Republican who sometimes speaks the truth.

 Subject: Why I subscribed to BartCop Radio

 Bart-
 I have now been a subscriber for a whole two weeks.
 Your "hey from Bart" letter said you hoped that you would make it worth it.

 Well, it has. If nothing else, copying and pasting the quotation in my sig line directly from
 an attribution from your site, was worth it by summing up why exactly I am willing to stand up
 and be labelled a criminal traitor socialist SOB for daring to disagree with the BFEE.

 I downloaded shows 27,28,29 and 30 for my recent trip from Albuquerque to Kansas City.
 Shows 27, 28 and 29 lasted from just east of Albuquerque to Shamrock, TX.

 Very enjoyable, I took notes while driving.
 Show 30 was played as I drove back to ABQ through Oklahoma, as a tribute to your hard work.
 Again, worth the money right there.

 I need someone to make a bumper sticker that says "Presidents shouldn't be assholes,
 and assholes shouldn't be President."

 Keep hammering.
 Thanks for doing that thing that you do.

 Holly C.

 As I type this at 5 PM Thursday, CNN reports that Pakistani forces are in
 a monster firefight with "hundreds" of Al Qaeda soldiers.

 Too bad America can't afford satellites so we could detect where this fight was.
 Too bad America can't afford bomber jets that could then drop hueueuege bombs
 on the bad guys, then let the Pakistan army go in and mop up what's left.

 But I guess of we could afford those things we could also afford to have fighter jets
 protect us from hijacked airplanes - but we're too poor a country - right?

  How lame is Dennis Miller?
  Eric Alterman has the answer
 
  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 In my dressing room, (prior to going on Miller's show), I met with a series of staff members
 who informed me that Dennis would be wanting to discuss topics such as George Soros and
 the funding of 527s; whether Bush was exploiting the 9/11 families, and I forget what else,
 just like a real talk show.

 Then I go out there and what?  I'm talking to a stoned teenager, who can't be bothered to say
 more than, "Whoh, man, you are so totally screwed up.  Like, you really believe that stuff, dude?"
 I paraphrase, but really, Dennis did not say much more than that.  Everyone on staff was extremely
 apologetic afterward and the word "unprofessional" was used over and over.

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Courtney Love was arrested early Thursday after allegedly throwing a microphone stand
 inside an East Village nightspot, striking a man in the head, police said. Earlier that night,
 Love repeatedly lifted her shirt during an appearance on the "Late Show with David Letterman."

..

 Drunker than Cooter Brown, - while singing "Danny Boy" - Love apparently bared her breasts
 away from the camera while standing on Dave's desk. Love's exposed skin was blocked out for viewers.

 I'm out of town tomorrow, weekend edition should be up Saturday.

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 Read the Previous Issue

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 Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com

..

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone,  just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

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