Subscribe to Bartcop
Contact Us
|
|
|
|
Subscribe to Bartcop Contact Us |
Show 32 is up!
|
In
Today's Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "George Bush is giving sons of
|
 Support
Bartcop.com PO Box 54466 , Tulsa, OK
74155  PayPal
to bartcop@bartcop.com |
Click for more info
Quotes
"I have never stopped fighting for the people,
and I won't now.''
--Ralph Nader, on why Bush deserves another four years to pollute
and destroy America Attribution
Excerpt:
Some of Bush's fellow Republicans said
on Friday that he should let Condoleezza Rice testify
publicly (and under oath) to confront charges
that Bush was lax on terrorism pre Sept 11.
Their comments appeared to reflect concerns
over potential political damage by the charges of
Richard Clarke. Bush is seeking a second
term by running on his record as an anti-terror warrior.
Bill Frist gave a gentle nudge to Bush.
He said he would support Bush's decision to stand on
principle and not have Rice testify in
public before a panel investigating the attacks. .
I can't weait for this.
The "San Francisco treat" has quite a temper.
If the Democrats can rattle her, this will be killer TV.
And if she's caught lying, Bush will lose this election.
On orders from the White House Quotes
"Do you believe that Dick Clarke has a problem
with this African American woman Condoleezza Rice?"
--Robert Novak,
Crossfire,
who was told to say that by the White House Attribution
"Richard Clarke is a career chair-warmer who
is upset that a black woman took his job."
--Ann Coulter on MSGOP Friday, who was told to say that by the White House
Attribution
Excerpt:
"I'm appalled," said Larry Syverson of Richmond,
who has a son in Iraq and another
who recently returned after serving there.
Syverson read news accounts of the event.
"I think it's in extremely poor taste," he said.
"I think he owes an apology to those families
who have lost loved ones there and those
of us that are going through the dread every day
having a son or daughter in Iraq."
Syverson recalled the displeasure many military
families felt with Bush after he appeared
last year to be daring Iraqi insurgents
to attack U.S. troops by saying "Bring it on."
"Now he pokes fun at the reason that he told us
[soldiers] went over there.
I think it's extremely callous."
He's a Monkey with no brain and no heart.
(c) 2004, salamander.eps
Dueling Quotes
"There is no question about the seriousness
about which the president
approaches this issue of the Iraq war."
--
White House spokeswoman Claire Buchan, lying for the Frog Blaster, Attribution
"If George Bush thinks his deceptive rationale
for going to war is a laughing matter,
then he's even more out of touch than
we thought."
-- John Kerry, acting like a president instead of
a giggling fool
..
"Want to
hear my trifecta joke?"
Soldiers
in Iraq Buy Their Own Body Armor
...because they know Bush can't be trusted
Excerpt:
Soldiers headed for Iraq are still buying
their own body armor despite assurances
from the military that the gear will be
in hand before they're in harm's way.
Though the military has advised them not
to rely on third-party suppliers,
many soldiers say they want it before they
deploy.
Last October, it was reported that nearly
one-quarter of American troops serving
in Iraq did not have ceramic plated body
armor, which can stop bullets fired from
assault rifles and shrapnel. The
military says the shortfall is over and soldiers who
do not yet have the armor soon will. But
many want to avoid the risk.
Just like his Daddy did with his disasterous
Somalia mission in 1992, this Bush
doesn't mind sending men into battle without the proper armor
to protect them.
I guess the BFEE isn't in the personal body armor business, and
if there's nothing
in it for them, why would they bother to consider personal body
armor important?.
Quotes
"I didn't see the humor in it. I don't think
there's anything humorous
about the American people being misled
about the reasons for going to war.
I think the joke was in bad taste"
--
Sen. Dick Durbin Attribution
D-r-i-v-e b-y N-e-w-s
GOP
Moves to Declassify Clarke Testimony
Either it's classified or it's not. If you can de-classify
a bunch of papers
for a fishing expedition against your political enemies,
maybe it's not so secret.
So why not de-classify 90 percent of it and stop hiding behind
"National Security?"
Rice
Discusses Terror, but Not Under Oath
Then what good is her testimony? Why bother if it's
legal for her to lie?
Gasoline
Price Hits Record 4th Day in Row
Our soldiers are dying for oil, but the price keeps going
up?
The BFEE is making so much - they night only have to fix
one more election.
21
Killed in Two Days of Attacks in Iraq
Don't worry - it'll all be stable by June 30 - suuuuuuure
it will.
Marty's Entertainment Page
US Vetos Condemnation of Assassination
Its an interesting dilemma when it comes
to condemning assassinating terrorists. Sort of a no win situation.
Certainly someone who terrorizes can't
complain when the victims strike back. But in a culture of war and
mutual terrorism to we condone or condemn
such acts? What is the right way to end the cycle of violence?
Every time you kill a terrorist - it causes
them to breed. But to not kill them inspires them as well. And there
are those who use such violence for political
posturing and personal profit. If Bush is going to posture as the
"War President" then he's going to need
a lot of war to divert attention away from a collapsing economy.
America has always been the voice of peace
- not war. We are making too many enemies in the world and
its time we changed direction and start
making friends. We have a lot of work to do to rid the world of terrorism
and we can no longer afford to support
a political opportunist who feeds on war. What we need is a "Peace President"
- not a "War President". A president who
has good judgment and can figure out who the enemy is.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco, CA.
Subject: You changed what I wrote
Bart:
Reading the page you posted [recently0 and
saw you printed my e-mail, but edited it.
You didn't cut out what I had said, you
*changed* it. This is what you posted:
>>Reading the new page tonight a saw yet another
poker story.
>>I confess to a love of the game, but can't
find anything going
>>here in Quayle Country (Bush could be himself
and
the Republicans
>>would still carry Indiana in the fall).
What I actually wrote was:
>>Reading the new page tonight a saw yet another
poker story.
>>I confess to a love of the game, but can't
find anything going
>>here in Quayle Country (Bush could eat xxxxxxxxxx
raw on
>>his desk in the oval office on a live national
broadcast and the
>>Republicans would still carrying Indiana in
the fall).
Now, I wouldn't have a problem if you had
edited something I said for length or out of concern
that it would offend, but to change something
I wrote and represent it as my words bothers me quite a bit.
Man, I hope you don't do this with monkey
mail.
Plus, I thought what I wrote was pretty f-ing funny.
Does Bartcop post corrections/apologies?
(withheld)
Dude, I thought your description was quite colorful, but the image
it created
in my mind was one that I thought might cost me readers/subscribers.
Quotes
"There was the sense that they hadn't handled
it very well."
--Dick Cheney, on how
they viewed the Clinton team's approach to terrorism, Attribution
Hey Dick, on Clinton's eight-year watch, 32 Americans died
from terrorism, mostly overseas.
Your team lost how many thousands in just your first year?
Excerpt:
Kerry said the White House is committing
character assassination with its treatment
of Richard Clarke to avoid responding to
questions about national security.
Kerry also said Kinda Sleazy Rice and The
Monkey should testify in public before
the commission investigating the Sept.
11, 2001, terror attacks. "If Condoleezza Rice
can find time to do `60 Minutes' on television,
she ought to find 60 minutes to speak to the
commission under oath," Kerry told reporters.
"We're talking about the security of our country."
Subject:
by the way, Bart...
Saying that a devout Jew is suffering from "religious insanity" seems pretty anti-Semitic to me.
Even if you aren't Jewish, you ought to
respect our religious beliefs. There has been far too much
hatred of Judaism all over the world, and
to call our religion "insanity" plays into that.
J.C.
JC, that would hold water if I said this
religion makes sense, but this one is crazy.
I think they're all crazy.
The whole point is, it seems to me that
both sides risk their children's lives by
choosing to live with people hell bent
on retaliation for last week's retaliation.
You're asking me to say that makes sense
- but I just don't see how.
I don't think any religion deserves "you
can only speak about us with respect" status.
"The State Department officially released its
annual terrorism report an hour ago,
but unlike last year, there's no extensive
mention of Osama bin Laden. A senior
Bush State Department official tells
CNN the U.S. government made a mistake
in focusing so much energy on bin Laden
and 'personalizing terrorism.'"
--CNN, 4/30/2001, "Claim
vs. fact", Attribution
Subject: Is this a joke?
Hey bart
The pResident's disgusting performance making
a joke of the reasons
for war and therefore the war itself, is
unconscionable.
What I think is absolutely imperative to
know is, those people who
were laughing at his sick humour - did
any of them have children in Iraq?
Did anyone in that room have children or
relatives in Iraq, fighting for
their Country so that the pResident can
make jokes about it?
Where's the guest list to that room?
Wal Cooper
Subject: Bart, you're so wrong on cultural issues
Delivered to your door - like Sears did in the late 1800's.
Order your CDs today!
Got no speakers in your computer?
That's OK - these play in your car -
like magic!
Impress your friends!
Click Here to get 5 BartCop Radio CDs for just $24 Cheeeeap.
Currently shipping shows 30
(Double-wide) 31
(Single CD) 32
(Double-wide)
mixed by professional knobbist
Tommy Mack.
Remember, if you PayPal, mention your address.
Click Here to send us your review of the most recent show.
Subject: I have the answer
Bart, you asked,
>Remind me again why Martha Stewart is going
jail while the [real crooks] just get richer?
Martha doesn't produce oil
Do I win anything?
Paula M
Paula, yes - that's good for two weeks of BCR.
I'll e-mail you your login and password.
..
Man One: "Kerry is a 'post turtle'."
Man Two: "What's a post turtle?"
Man One: "When you're driving down a
country road and you come across a
fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.
You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there,
and you just want to help the stupid bastard get down."
That sums up John Kerry very well
Bob Blooger
Bob, that would be a funny joke if Kerry
was the stupidest man in the history of politics,
who had no clue at all how a bill becomes
a law or that Social Security was a federal program,
who was handed the presidency by a crooked
court and a crooked brother in Florida over
the will of the people and then lied America
into an illegal war after ruining the economy.
Then it would be funny.
But since Kerry is a three-time decorated war hero, who earned
his years in the senate and
legitimately won his party's nomination, your joke only makes
the teller look extra-stupid.
............................................
Click to Enter
Woods under scrutiny after Bay Hill struggles
Excerpt:
Tiger Woods went from celebrated to scorned.
He teed it up in the Bay Hill Invitational
with a chance to make history as the first player
to win a tournament five straight times.
By the end of the week, he had his worst finish
in five years, a tie for 46th that left
him 18 strokes behind.
What's wrong with Tiger?
Ready?
After three.
One, ...Two, ...Three!
If you have something important send it to Sam at sam@bartcop.com
We have a new address for advertisers - ads@bartcop.com
It pays to advertise on bartcop.com
The net's best advertising bargain!
Make your deal today before May 1, when convention prices take effect.
Watching CNBC (I got material for another Dennis Miller beatdown)
I saw the crawl at the bottom of the page say,
"Anita Bryant turned 64 today, she still
hates gay people
and she refuses to watch "Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy."
1. Hey woman, your religious hatred cost you your career.
Why couldn't you do what Jesus did
and just love God's children and mind your
own damn business and keep your job?
2. Apparently, that religious hatred is forever - like diamonds.
3. Queer Eye is a damn
funny show, plus, it shows gay people in a positive light.
The GOP can't afford for gays to be
seen as non-monsters. If the truth were to get out,
people might realize there's no reason to
hate gay people and then the GOP would lose their glue.
Subject: radio feedback
Hey Bartcop!
I subscribed to your show as a result of
Malloy's endorsement before he went off the air
and it's everything I hoped it would be
and more! I love it!
There's so much energy and honesty in your show - it's wonderful.
The dialogue between you and your buddy
was a joy to listen to - the "It's like the White House
has become one giant handicapped parking
space" quote is one of the funniest things I've ever heard!
And the whole bit about the flavored eucharist.
Oh man... You guys are a great team.
I'm listening to show 30 now and ... I'm
just so glad I found your show!
I look forward to being a longtime subscriber!
Matthew G. C
Bush
pokes fun at missing WMDs
Click
Here
"Those weapons of mass destruction have got
to be somewhere," he said.
ha ha
That's funny as hell, Mr President.
Bush's American
soldier body count in Iraq
Bush lied, and caused 598
591 Americans their lives - and counting.
That's funny as hell, Mr President
Bart,
The distinction between the rich and the
superrich is a key one.
Even if you were a big movie star making
millions per year, your money would be chump change
compared to the superrich that control
this country. If they were doing a good job controlling the
country, that might even be OK -- not democratic,
but OK. However, they're obviously doing
a lousy job, so we the people need to take
back that control.
(withheld)
Perfectly
legal
Excerpt:
In 1977, the richest 1 percent of Americans
had as much to spend after taxes as the bottom 49 million.
Just 22 years later, in 1999, the richest
1 percent-about 2.7 million people-had as much as the bottom
100 million Americans. Few figures derived
from the official government data on incomes present more
starkly the growing chasm between the rising
incomes at the top and the falling incomes at the bottom.
Subject: Why I subscribed to BartCop Radio
Bart,
Today I subscribed to BartCop.
I subscribed because we need a voice of
reason out there before George Bush
has himself appointed Supreme Dictator
of America for Life and has us all silenced.
I also subscribed to help get you and Mrs.
Bart out of Oklahoma. I'm told I live in a
rarified atmosphere, but I am not acquainted
with a single person either at work or in my
personal life that is in favor of reelecting
W (or else they keep their mouths shut if they are!),
and "Nobody died when Clinton lied" bumper
stickers abound here, although I don't read
our right wing corporate owned local paper.
As I mentioned before, I voted for Nader
in 1996 and in 2000, but this year I think
I'll write in BartCop for President.
If elected will you legalize marijuana?
Regina in Portland
Regina, yes, if I were president I would bring medical science
and logic to drugs laws,
but odds are I won't win it this year so please vote for the
Democrat in November.
...and thanks for subscribing.
David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar?
Bush
slays 'em with WMD gag
saw it on www.humorgazette.com
Excerpt:
With a comic touch as deft as a Baghdad
bombing raid, Bush reduced the
side-splitting Iraq weapons of mass destruction
fiasco to a punchline.
The Commander-in-Cheek laughed off the world's
concern about non-existent
WMDs at the Radio & TV Correspondents
dinner Wednesday night.
The bit unwittingly lampooned Bush's cluelessness
that his phony weapons bluster
for a war that has now claimed hundreds
of U.S. lives might not be the best fodder
for cornball humor from a leader regarded
in much of the world as a malevolent moron..
Who is sabotaging Bush's campaign?
First President Bush attempts to appoint
Anthony Raimondo, CEO of a manufacturing company
in Nebraska, (proof that the president
was serious about keeping jobs here at home) to be Manufacturing
Czar at the Commerce Department.
That didn't go over so well when it was revealed that Mr. Raimondo
had laid off 65 of his own workers while
building a $3 million factory in China that would employ 165 Chinese people.
Next, the Bush/Cheney is offering a beautiful
red jacket on their reelection web site. Close inspection of the
label
inside the jacket reveals that it was made
in Burma, a country banned from selling products in the United States for
its well documented use of slave labor
in clothing manufacture and other industries.
Lastly, the White House is now complaining
about the release of a new book by Richard Clarke. Clarke, the top
anti-terrorism official under every U.S.
president since Ronald Reagan, has written "Against All Enemies:
Inside
America's War on Terror" that excoriates
the Bush administration for ignoring terrorism.
The White House immediately turned on the
former long time public servant (and registered Republican, I might add)
with its usual mixture of characterization
assassination, disinformation and outright lies. One fact that particularly
outraged the Bushies was the timing of
the release of the book, in the middle of the Presidential race.
"Who," the White House ranted, "would release
such a book at this particular time other than a partisan closet Democrat."
Yep, you guessed it. The White House!
Quoting Mr. Clarke, "I wanted the
book to come out much earlier but the White House has a policy of reviewing
the text of all books written former White
House personnel - to review them for security reasons. And they actually
took a very long time to do that.
This book could have come out much earlier. It's the White House
that decided
that decided when it would be published,
not me."
So I ask the question again. Who is sabotaging the Bush/Cheney campaign?
Oracle Jones
PS. Please, for America's sake, keep up the good work.
Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?
Call the
Then listen for your call on...
918-493-1500
You have two minutes to spit your bit.
Quotes
"First responders are being underfunded at
the same time that we're promoting the importance
of the war on terror. I can tell in
my town that if something happens here, we're going to be the
first ones sent and as of today we
don't have any particularly specialized equipment."
--Peter McLaughlin, a former McCain intern and a volunteer firefighter
in Brookfield, Conn. Attribution
Subject: radio feedback
I was one of the "naysayers" regarding the
radio show.
Specically, I mentioned to you that I have
never been an "audio" person; have always enjoyed
reading something versus hearing it.
I also mentioned the problem of not being able to carry a
computer all over the house while listening
(as I used too when talk radio was balanced).
I hereby state catagorically that I WAS
WRONG!
The radio shows have, and are, progressing
really well!
I look forward to the new ones much like
I look forward to the page each day. (For the record,
my office is now always spotlessly clean,
as I am not one to be idle while listening to the radio).
Thank you for both the radio show and the
page and for swinging that hammer.
Wish I could give more, and hopefully can
do so in future.
Penny
Desert Hot Springs, CA
Penny, thanks for that.
I'd like to remind non-subscribers that the radio is all-new content.
Sure, sometimes a topic will be mentioned on both, but we don't
just read the page
into the microphone - like Rush's newsletter, where some secretary
transcribes his
racist idiocy to re-sell the same crap that you've already heard
if you listen to his show.
Garry Trudeau
offers $10K to anyone
who saw
Bush show up in the ANG
Click for
reward details
No Doonesbury the last two days at www.ucomics.com
Shopping online?
Use this portal and they'll throw bartcop.com four cents.
|
||||||
Click to Order
..
.........
......
Betty Bowers & more
Eric Alterman
Kevin Phillips Jim Hatfield
|
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com
Show 32 is here.
To hear the radio shows, you must have a login and password.
Click Here
to subscribe and get your login and password.
Click Here to listen
to Part 1 of Show
32
Click Here to download
Part 1 of Show
32
Click Here to listen
to Part 2 of Show
32
Click Here to download
Part 2 of Show
32
Click Here to listen
to Part 3 of Show
32
Click Here to download
Part 3 of Show
32
Click Here to listen
to Part 4 of Show
32
Click Here to download
Part 4 of Show
32
Click Here to listen
to Part 5 of Show
32
Click Here to download
Part 5 of Show
32
Click
Here for the radio archives
If your GOP workplace doesn't want you to
see the truth, use these mirrors.
http://www.bartcop.com/mirrors.htm
..
Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-493-1500
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint
on
your next American tour.
bartcop.com and BartCop are trademarks of attempts
at humor.
