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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "I stood up to impeachment and beat it back.
I'm going to watch that - are you?
Bart
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Quotes
"It seemed a little long and I was worried
about Bush the father with this parachute thing.
Like, what if that didn't open, we
would have had another week of funeral coverage. One week
of funeral coverage, after another
would have been intolerable."
--
Al Franken, to Chris the Screamer
Attribution
DC
Shrink Calls Bush a 'Sadistic Meglomaniac'
If he read bartcop.com he would've
known that years ago
Excerpt:
A new book by a prominent Washington psychoanalyst
says Bush is a "paranoid meglomaniac"
as well as a sadist and "untreated alcoholic."
The doctor's analysis appears to confirm earlier reports
the President may be emotionally unstable.
Dr. Justin Frank says the President has
a ""lifelong streak of sadism, ranging from childhood pranks
(using firecrackers to explode frogs) to
insulting journalists, gloating over state executions ... [and]
pumping his fist gleefully before the bombing
of Baghdad."
Even worse, Dr. Frank concludes, the President's
years of heavy drinking ""may have affected his brain function
- and his decision to quit drinking without
the help of a 12-step program [puts] him at far higher risk of relapse."
Dr. Frank's revelations comes on the heels
of last week's Capitol
Hill Blue exclusive that revealed increasing
concern by White House aides over Bush's
emotional stability.
Also
His mother,
Barbara Bush - tabbed by some family friends as "the one who instills fear"
- had trouble connecting emotionally
with her son, Frank argues.
George
H.W. Bush's "emotional and physical absence during his son's youth triggered
feelings of both adoration
and revenge in George W."
The
President suffers from "character pathology," including "grandiosity" and
"megalomania" --
viewing himself, America and God as interchangeable.
..
"I'm not
crazy - not like they say!
Hood that guy, take his pants off
and bring him to me right away!"
Quotes
"The Bush administration is systematically,
relentlessly and with stubborn arrogance
making a mockery of these constitutional
mandates through subterfuge, warmongering
and intimidation of a Congress that
is cowed, timid, and deferential."
--Sen. Robert Byrd,
D-W.Va., in his new book Attribution
Car
Bomb Kills 35 in Iraq
How 'bout them cowboys!!
Excerpt:
The explosion in Baghdad, the deadliest
attack since a bombing outside another recruiting
center in February, was the latest in a
surge of attacks on U.S. coalition forces and their
Iraqi allies ahead of the transfer of sovereignty
to Iraqis on June 30.
The blast scattered bodies and debris across
a four-lane highway outside Baghdad's airport.
The explosion could be heard for miles
and sent a cloud of smoke over the city.
Yesterday, Randi Rhodes (AAR) made the point that under Saddam,
the Iraqi's were not
free but they were stable and had security in their homes.
Under the new dictator, they're
not free, they're not stable and they never know when the invading
army will break down
their front door and tie them, up and take the men away in hoods
to be tortured in prison.
Insurgents
Strike at Iraq's Oil Industry
News so fake, it should be delivered by Jon Stewart
Excerpt:
Insurgents struck at the heart of Iraq's
economic livelihood Wednesday, blasting a major
pipeline to halt vital oil exports and
killing the top security chief for the northern oilfields.
They did not!
Bart's Law #2
Any time a person or entity makes
a "mistake" that puts extra money (or power) in their pocket,
expect them to make that "mistake" again and again
and again. That's why refineries have fires now and then,
because a fire allows them to scream "unexpected shortage"
so they can gouge us on the price of gas.
The BFEE must be reading bartcop.com and when they see something like yesterday's
> John Kerry raised $100 million
> Trouble is, Bush
can steal that much from Iraq in one day.
> 2,500,000 million
barrels at $40 each = $100,000,000 .
They run to Tim Russert (R-Whore) with a phoney "They're
disrupting the pipeline," handjob footage,
and we have no choice but to believe their bluff because we have
nobody in Iraq to prove the BFEE didn't
blow up some unused pipeline from a 20 year dry hole so they
could hide the fact that they are stealing
$100,000,000 every f-ing day from Iraq - and we
can't stop them.
Each time the BFEE leaks a fake "pipeline
sabotage" story to Timmy, that's another hundred million
dollars the BFEE doesn't have to account
for, as if they were accountable to anyone or anything in any way.
Will we ever know the truth?
Bart's comic book memory says we will.
In the 60s, DC comics would produce the occasional, what if, ...imaginary
story
In one story, they did a "What if Lois
and Clark went ahead and actually got married?"
OK, so we buy the premise that he tells her he's Superman and they marry - then what?
Lois, (they portrayed her as a late 50s, women aren't really
equal, baked cookies kind of woman)
found herself frustrated when the other wealthy elite bitches
bragged about their husbands.
"My husband is the head of Houston's
FEMA"
"My husband is the head of cartoons
on CBS Mornings"
"My husband is the head of hiring at
Halliburton/BFEE."
Eventually, Lois Lane found herself in a position where she could remain silent no longer.
The next time some Mob/GOP wife bragged about how important her
husband was, Lois lost her cool
and chimed back in with, "Hey, Beee-ottch
...my husband can fly around the Earth so fast that
time goes f-ing backwards, matter of
fact, that's how we got engaged."
BartCop Reader: Bart, where you going with this?
Just like Lois lane, just like the Enron trader tapes, someone
...eventually ...is going to talk.
Someone eventually will let it slip they they worked on a tanker
that had no registration
and no flag and no papers when it pulled into a Port of Houston
refinery station.
I think the BFEE will someday be brought to justice, but will
that be before or after
Bush ruins what's left of this once-great country?
Subject: Inevitable ulcers
Bartcop,
I'm a 20-year-old student that reads your
site basically every day. I work a menial job selling phones
to bovine America at a BJ's wholesale club.
My little kiosk is underneath a massive American flag
and near the docking station for those
little motor carriages with seats. Oftentimes while I'm reading
the articles you post I'll become so angry
that I walk away from the monitor. I'll look away and see
the morbidly obese puttering around under
the American flag, searching for their barrels of beef jerky.
Sometimes I find it hard to bite my tongue.
I want to scream to them that there is more to life than
consumption and that copy of Bruce Almighty
they're holding.
I often become burnt out after reading your
site, but I keep coming back to it. I can't sit back and be
complacent with ignorance like most of
my generation. I'll tell my girlfriend about certain things, and most
of it upsets her to the point that she
doesn't want me to tell her about it. I'll often hear "Besides voting,
what can we do?" How do you stay positive?
What more can I do besides voting and staying angry?
Thanks, and keep hammering away
Ryan
Tiverton, RI
Ryan, that may be the best e-mail I've gotten this year.
You came to the right place, Dude, I'm gonna fix you up.
I mentioned recently, there's no shame in playing whitey's game
when you're broke.
You have to claw your way ahead, you have to protect
yourself and your family.
Being the flawed being that I am, I admit sometimes
you have to cheat to break even.
But when you have $100 million in the bank, and you're still
whitey's whore for an extra 10,000,
(Tim Russert) you're just another crack whore trying to get the
next better fix.
Bottom line, I say hold your nose and play whitey's game until
you have enough cash to get away.
If you take a stand every time some rich Republican bastard screws
a poor black person, you'll lose your
job and your future and your kids will have it worse than you
- so play whitey's game ...till you get even.
We're all whores until we get enough money to tell
the boss to go "F" himself.
.
Quotes
"President Clinton committed allegedly perjury
and obstruction of justice, charges for which he was facing
impeachment in the house of representatives
and did have that vote of impeachment in the house, was not
convicted in the senate. But no one
died. No one died in the Monica Lewinsky Affair. This President has
taken this nation to war resulting
in the deaths of 800-plus united states soldiers, thousands of Iraqi civilians
dead, hundreds and thousands -- thousands
of Iraqi civilians permanently injured as well as soldiers on our side.
This President should be held accountable
for all that. He should be held accountable for taking this nation into
this war that continues to spiral out
of control. There is no real comparison to that and the Monica Affair.
And if
we're going to impeach a president
for alleged perjury and obstruction of justice, surely we ought to debate
whether or not we should impeach a
President for taking the nation to illegal war."
--John Bonifaz, author of "Warrior King: The
Case For Impeaching George W. Bush.", Attribution
Subject: O'Reilly's review of Fahrenheit 9-11
Watchin foxnews this morning before work
for some cheap laughs when that dick O'Reilly
gave some half-assed review of Fahrenheit
9/11. He made some cynical comment about
how it (wrongly, in his eyes) paints America
as a police-state. But the jackass openly admits
he didn't stay to watch the whole film
because "the showing was running 40 minutes late" and
he must have had some important evil tyrant
meeting to attend.
Anyway, if this guy is so darn sure Mr.
Moore is fabricating stuff wouldn't he actually watch
the whole thing so he could make a decent
point on his show? But then it struck me, this is what
Republicans do- when they hear the truth
they stick their fingers in their ears and hope it goes away.
What a tool.
heebyjeebus
as seen on du.com
Those of you who bought ads on bartcop.com last week
were lucky because we set a new record for hits.
Ten, sometimes twenty views per penny.
Nobody gives you a better deal that that.
Battling
the Bishops
Is Kerry Catholic enough?
Excerpt:
Archbishop Burke from St. Louis told a
local television station four months ago that Kerry,
with a staunchly pro-choice voting record
should "not present himself for Communion" in that archdiocese.
If that didn't seem like such a big deal
then, it does now. A handful of other church leaders have since echoed
Burke's declaration that Catholic politicians
who vote against church teachings are unfit for the sacrament that
more than any other symbolizes a Catholic's
ongoing connection to the faith. At least one of those leaders -
Colorado Springs Bishop Sheridan - has
even suggested that unrepentant Catholics who so much as vote for
a pro-choice politician should stay away
from the Communion rail.
Notice they didn't say, "Stay away from
the Church."
They still want your money, even if you refuse to let thousand
year-old thinking to run your life today.
If they were honest, (should I finish that sentence?) they'd
say, "Any Catholic who believes in the death
penalty should leave the Church and
stop giving us money. Any Catholic woman who had ever been
on The Pill should leave the Church
and stop giving us money. Anyone who has ever remarried
should leave the Church and stop giving
us money." But they can't bring themselves to be that
honest
becausse they want/need your money.
Instead, a few political jackasses decide they want to play partisan
politics with their God.
They should be ashamed of themselves, whoring for money in Christ's
name.
Subject: Al Jazeera reads bartcop.com?
On the Daily Show last night, did you catch what Hassan Ibrahim said?
It was about the Palestinian/Israeli conflict
and he said something like:
"Spiritually, there is no difference between
Jerusalem, Mecca, and Oklahoma!"
Matt
Quotes
"The golf courses are becoming more difficult.
They're narrowing
the fairways, and the rough is getting
higher. The green speeds have
certainly increased, and the fields
are so much deeper..."
-- Eldrick Woods, on why his
gold game sucks so badly these days Attribution
Hey Eldrick, I can tell you're GOP from your sills-ass arguments.
Guess what, Sunshine, the courses are more difficult for everybody.
The fairways are narrower for everybody, the rough is higher
for everyone,
the green speeds are faster for everyone and I don't know if
he means the
physical field is "deeper" or if he's saying there's more competition,
but maybe
you should stop whining these non-excuses and practice your putting
a little more.
Sidebar: On last night's local news,
they said Mt Perfect was practicing ...then someone took his picture!
They said Eldrick got angry, picked up
his ball and walked away mumbling cursewords under his breath.
Hey Eldrick, those hundreds of millions
of dollars you made come with a price.
You're a "media darling," so try to be
gracious when a fan does something awful like taking your picture.
It would be one thing if you were eating
dinner with your girlfriend and some mook runs up to your table
popping flashbulbs in your face wheile
you're trying to eat. But when you're on the golf course, why don't you
'take it like a man,' as a famous harpy
once used to say.
Sidebar in a Sidebar: Is Laura the Unloved still in the radio business?
Note: I hoped to assemble Show 43 today, but yesterday
was all lightning in K-Drag.
Of course, weather.yahoo.com says it was "cloudy," not
tons of thunder and lightning.
In Oklahoma, the thunderstorms storms never f-ing stop,
and I hate that.
And before you ask, "Why don't you move
away?" - I'm married.
Chicago Pokerfest is sold out
..
Vegas Dave from Vegas
Ryan G
Tom & Ally from Mich
John F
Snabby
Trevor Y
h20wall
LA Rick from LA
Chicago Jim
Bart from K-Drag
Larry by the Sea from the West
Coast
LRB from MN
Flagstaff who was at Vegasfest
2002
John D
Toni C
Joe B from Toledo
various mail committed people
Funny how Pokerfest Boston/NY/Philly/CT/Jersey
died of lack of interest,
Pokerfest West Palm Beach Atlantic Cruise
Summer Florida 2004 had fewer than ten
Demo-friendly people who appreciate a fine poker game and a shot
of luxury tequila,
but Chicago Pokerfest is all but sold
out.
If you have a question or need more details, write to Bart and put "poker" in the subject line.
Pokerfest Chicago July 17, with plenty of agave.
Dry Drunk George W. Bush
Excerpt:
It was when I started noticing the extreme
language that colored President Bush's speeches that I
began to wonder. First there were the terms--
"crusade" and "infinite justice" that were later withdrawn.
Next came "evil doers," "axis of evil,"
and "regime change", terms that have almost become clichés in the
mass media. Something about the polarized
thinking and the obsessive repetition reminded me of many of
the recovering alcoholics/addicts I had
treated. (A point worth noting is that because of the connection
between addiction and "stinking thinking,"
relapse prevention usually consists of work in the cognitive area).
Having worked with recovering alcoholics
for years, I flinched at the single-mindedness and ego- and
ethnocentricity in the President's speeches.
Subject: Bishops and reality
I find the idea of Catholic Bishops endorsing
the idea that those who approve of abortion aren't fit
to receive communion to be somewhat amusing.
There's an old saying - those without sin should
cast the first stone. And - even though
no one really holds to those standards - I really think that
the Bishops should focus on the issue of
priests having sex with children before they represent
themselves as being moral enough to give
communion - let alone decide who should receive it.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco
Yesterday I was surfing Dave's Vegas Report and I saw his spirits link.
I went there to check on a bottle of Chinaco Anejo and saw they had rated it a 95 out of 100.
I checked the Patron Anejo,
and they only got 90 - ha ha
I checked the Herradura Anejo,
and they only got 91
The Don Julio Anejo got a
90/81, but it had a great price - $45
The Sauza Anejo Tres Generaciones
got a confusing 92, 88, 73.
The Jose Cuervo Gold (not
real tequila) got a 72/64 - ha ha
I guess they knew somebody on the ratings
board.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Source
of greatness
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
The first thing to remember is that the
Cold War wasn't really a war. Nuclear dente prevented World War III.
The critical moment was probably the Cuban
missile crisis of 1963, in which JFK and Khrushchev backed away
from nuclear confrontation. Altogether,
the struggle lasted more than 40 years, from Truman's adoption of the
doctrine of containment through the Marshall
Plan, Korea, the Berlin airlift, Vietnam, the Cuban debacle,
anti-Soviet uprisings in Budapest, Prague
and Warsaw to the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. There was, for example,
no fiercer anti-Communist than Jimmy Carter's
national security adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski.
Quotes
"The election of 2004 is about one thing only:
It is a referendum on George Bush's record.
It is our only chance to get rid of
him before he can do any more damage. The election of 2004
is the most important of our lifetime.
Never before has there been such a dangerous man in the
White House. His policies have ruined
the economy, pitted Americans against each other,
destroyed the environment and made
enemies around the world."
-- from Bill Press's new book: "Bush
Must Go" Attribution
Some people can't read, like the Monkey president.
But if you can read, you'll find the right books here
and it's all just a click away.
Man
Says He Will Give Foul Ball to Boy
Could be the most important story
of 2004
Bush
Misleads On Separation of Church and State
Like always, he says one thing then does another
Clinton
Says He Never Considered Quitting
That ain't no headline - we know the Big Dog ain't no quitter
Want
to get excited about Fahrenheit 9/11?
This clip will give you goosebumps
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Quotes
"Once you open this door, what's going to come
rolling through it?
Pretty soon, no one would be taking
Communion."
--Deal Hudson, who sounds like he's
been reading bartcop.com
Attribution
Dutch
Reformation: Reagan Remade
You've heard the lies, now how about the truth?
Excerpt:
Republicans scorned Clinton for lying to
the American people about Monica Lewinsky, but they never blinked
when Reagan lied to us about his involvement
in the illegal Iran-Contra intrigue. Reagan fans could not express
enough disgust with Clinton for having
an extramarital affair, but they must have known that Reagan acquired
his second wife and their first child through
just such an extramarital affair. Inconsistency like that may reflect
mere hypocrisy, but most people simply
find the world so unpleasant that they cannot seem to accept it without
a veneer of comforting lies and legends.
All they ask for is someone who can spin a yarn plausible enough to fool
everyone into feeling safe and satisfied.
That is also the dream of the discredited Republican Party, for the benefit
of which the recent orgy of lamentation
was really intended.
Poll reveals hostility to US
Excerpt:
Only 2 per cent of the Iraqis polled in
mid-May see coalition troops as liberators,
while 92 per cent said they were occupiers.
In a crumb of comfort for the coalition,
only .3 per cent expressed support for
Saddam Hussein.
..
"I blame
the Iraqi press.
They
don't follow orders the
way
the American press does."
............................................
Click to Enter
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
834
no, .... 837
dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - the lives go down the drain - all for Bush's illegal war.
Soon it will be 900, and then 1000.
VCR Alert
Michael Moore on NBC's Dateline Tonight then later on Dave, then Monday on Today
Do you have an opinion?
Do any GOP impressions?
Call the
Then listen for your call on...
918-748-1714
You have two minutes to record your message.
Quotes
"Tiger Woods Continues Sucky Play at U.S. Open,
Number One Position is in Jeopardy!
Tiger Woods showed early on in the
first round of this year's U.S. Open that his winless streak
in majors will reach eight and that
he will have gone two complete major "cycles" without a major victory.
If Ernie Els wins this Open Tiger will
no longer hold the position as the world's number one player.
The Pastor is too depressed to write
more at the moment.
-- the pastor of The First Church of Tiger
Woods, found at http://tigerwoodsisgod.com
Poor guy - I'll bet his site was hot a few years ago...
Nine
Eleven
by William Rivers Pitt
Excerpt:
Imagine America today if September 11 had
not happened.
Would we tolerate a President who drove
us to war on the basis of lies and exaggeration?
Would we tolerate a President who used
fear against his own people to get what he wanted?
Would we tolerate a President whose people
destroyed deep-cover CIA agents as a means
of exacting political revenge? Would we
tolerate a President who gave away billions of our tax
dollars to his closest corporate friends,
under the cover of the aforementioned lies and exaggerations?
Would we tolerate a President who made
the torture of fellow human beings an accepted policy,
whose advisors and attorneys concocted
twisted arguments to defend such torture, who came to
the conclusion that the President is absolutely,
totally and without exception above the law?
Put another way, would we have tolerated
any of this had it happened during the Clinton administration?
Certainly not. Had Clinton done even one
of these things, he would have been impeached and removed from
office, deservedly so, and none of us would
have been required to hear about stained dresses and thong underwear.
That was then, and this is now.
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Shrl, call The BartPhone,
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