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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Bush Claimed Torture Rights Borg/GOP Sex-Club Scandal W. F. Buckley vs BartCop D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  Springsteen to Upstage Bush Zarqawi Vows to Kill Iraq PM  Texas GOP vs the Jews Terrorists for Kerry  Film of the Fascist Liberal   Quote of the Day "We're not stuck."     --Paul Wolfowitz, lying about Iraq Attribution    Wolfie means "not stuck" in the sense that   we'll only have men dying there for the next   dozen years, not thirty of forty years.     Bart Store Thanks to Jim, David, Ron and C@

 

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Quotes

"In a way that occurred before but is rare in the United States·somebody came to power
  as a result of the illegitimate acts of a legitimate institution that had the right to put somebody
  in power.That is what the Supreme Court did in Bush versus Gore. It put somebody in power.
  The reason I emphasize that is because that is exactly what happened when Mussolini was put in
  by the king of Italy. The king of Italy had the right to put Mussolini in, though he had not won an
  election, and make him prime minister. That is what happened when Hindenburg put Hitler in.
  I am not suggesting for a moment that Bush is Hitler. I want to be clear on that, but it is a situation
  which is extremely unusual."
      --Guido Calabresi, a judge on the 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, at the American Constitution Society convention,   Attribution
 

 Hey, if the swastika fits, you must admit...

 Bush Claimed Right to Waive Torture Laws

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Bush claimed the right to waive anti-torture laws and treaties covering POWs after the
 invasion of Afghanistan, and Rummy authorized guards to strip detainees and threaten them
 with dogs, according to documents released Tuesday.

 The Justice Department disavowed a memo written in 2002 that appeared to justify the use
 of torture in the war on terror. The memo also argued that the president's wartime powers
 superseded anti-torture laws and treaties.

 That 50-page document, dated Aug. 1, 2002, will be replaced, Justice Department officials said.
 White House counsel Alberto Gonzales said that some legal memos contained "unnecessary and
 overbroad discussions" that could be "subject to misinterpretation." But he added, "The analysis
 underpinning the president's decisions stand and are not being reviewed."
 

 In other words, they got caught, they won't do it again, ...and we're a nation of "soul."
 I'm sure the press and the Democratis will see no reason to investigate this any further.
 
 

..
"What's the problem? They're just frogs!"
 

  Care to comment?

 Dueling Quotes

"When it becomes an Iraqi fight and the Iraqis are prepared to take on the fight,
  they're prepared to join their security forces. We are prepared to arm and equip
  them to do it. I can't tell you how long that's going to take."
    --Paul Wolfowitz,  Wolfowitz Says Iraq Is No Quagmire",    Attribution

"It takes at least ten years to train an army. I know because I've done it."
    -- Col David Hackworth, Ret.,  the most decorated American solider living  (Heard it myself)

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Illinois Republican U.S. Senate candidate Jack Ryan had sex with a female Borg and tried
 to get said Borg to have kinky sex with him in front of Earthling voyeur group in New York, Earth!

"Ryanwanted me to have sex with him there, with another couple watching.
 I refused.
 He asked me to perform a sexual activity upon him, and he specifically asked other people to watch.
 I was very upset."

 On a trip to Paris, the female Borg alleged that Ryan made her visit a club which catered to an
 apparently scruples-free clientele.

"People were having sex everywhere," said the female Borg. "I cried. I was physically ill.
 Ryan became very upset with me, and said it was not a 'turn on' for me to cry."

..
  "He made me wear unattractive eyewear."
 

 If it's kinky sex,
 you know some the overbearing, repressed Republican is working out his Oedipal issues.

..

 William F. Buckley reads  bartcop.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A broad search of anti-Bush Web sites suggests the scope of festering animosity toward Bush.
 We have, e.g., BartCop, described by a compendium of Web sites as "Dedicated to hammering Bush
 and right-wing hypocrisy, featuring cartoons, daily news update." The Smirking Chimp gives "news, rants,
 activism and other things anti-Bush," while the utilitarian Wage Slave Journal gives the George W. Bush
 Scorecard of Evil.  BushAndCheneySuck.com is modestly "dedicated to licking Bush in 2000 and beyond."

 Nobody from the world of BartCop is going to end up loving Bush himself, but everyone has to gain from
 a lowering of voices. This isn't going to happen until after this era's Pearl Harbor, on Nov. 2, a long four months away.
 

 Mr. Buckely, after the ten year Jihad the GOP ran inside Clinton's misdemeanor pants, isn't it your call for
  civility a little bit convenient, now that your boy has been caught committing major felonies and war crimes?

 Gingrich and those wild-dog House Managers sent 700 FBI agents to comb through Arkansas trailer parks
  searching for any woman with an unverified claim against the president when those 700 agents could have been
  investigating the Middle Eastern men who were taking jumbo jet flying lessons, but no - they were too busy.
 

 Rush calls you the father of the modern conservative movement.
  I would enjoy testing your paternity in our live chat room.
  ...and I promise to be very civil.
 
 

..
"Watch out for this one, Mr. Buckley.
  He's not like most Democrats..."

 Subject: Radio BartCop

 Randi Rhodes just gave you a free plug.
 Expect hits...she went on and on about her new cartoon.

 Rude Rich
 

 Ah, that would be due to the efforts of the great Bruce Yurgil.
  I hope she mentioned him...

..
 

 Dare to comment?

 Quotes

"I would hope five years from now  five thousand dead soldiers from now
  we see an Iraq that has more or less effectively defeated this enemy.
    --Paul D. Wolfowitz,  Attribution

 Subject: Please attribute authorship of my cartoon when you can

 Dear Sam:

 A little over halfway down yesterday's, beneath Helen Thomas' piece, "Bush credibility gap widens,"
 is my June 21 cartoon from my site The Illustrated Daily Scribble .

 At your convenience, I would appreciate your adding my authorship of the cartoon and a site link, if possible.
 Thank you for your attention to this.

 Charlie
 

 Charlie, people send us good cartoons by the hundreds.
  We have no way to verify the work's author if it's not signed.

 Sometimes, like with the WWII posters, multiple people claim credit - then what?
  I think the best way to ensure attribution is to sign your art.

 By the way, I enjoy your work.

 NY Promoter Wants Springsteen to Upstage Bush
  Big concert the night Pinhead gets nomination?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A New York concert promoter has mounted an online campaign to "draft" Bruce Springsteen to
 headline a rock 'n roll show to upstage NaziCon2004 the night it nominates Bush to run for another term.

 The "Concert for Change," would be held Sept. 1 at Giants Stadium, across the Hudson River from the
 Republicans' meeting at Madison Square Garden, said promoter and Democratic activist Andrew Rasiej,
 who has reserved the date at Springsteen's New Jersey home venue that he routinely sells out when he tours..
 

 If you think Bruce should pull some spotlight off the never-elected Monkey,

  http://www.draftbruce.com

 C'mon, this is cheaper than cheap - it's free!
 It'll just take a minute and it'll rattle Karl Rove.

 Please take a second and sign the petition.

  http://www.draftbruce.com

 If half the people reading this helped out, we could make their counter turn over.

 Quotes

"Pithy, witty, funny and on top of the news.
  What blogs are to political commentary,
  the Daily Scribble is to the editorial cartoon.
  I keep coming back for more."
    -- Joshua Micah Marshall, Talking Points Memo. Attribution

 Subject: Randi Rhodes

 Hey Bart,

 I called in to RR show this afternoon and turned her people on to the comic book.
 She was thrilled and mentioned your site 3-4 times.

 I think cross promotion would be a good thing for both venues.
 Strike up a deal brother!
 Keep hammering!

 Later,
 Robert  the artist
 

 Robert, I owe you one - name it,
  and all praise to Bruce Yurgil..

 Nader Again Refuses Dems' Request He Quit
  "We must give Bush another four years to pollute and destroy"

  Click  Here
 

 Toxic Pollution Rose 5 Percent in 2002
  and probably 8 percent in 2003 but hey, as long as Bush's friends make a profit...

  Click  Here
 

 The Rev. Moon Honored at Hill Reception
  The Whore Post finally catrches up to what bartcop.com wrote months ago

  Click  Here
 

'Over the Rainbow' Rated No. 1 Movie Tune
  "As Time Goes By" and "Singin' in the Rain" came in 2, 3

  Click  Here

 This is very important  -  thousands of dollars are at stake
  and we won't get a "do over,"  so let's be sure we're clear up-front.

 Click  Here   for the extra-important, time-is-now update.

 Kerry's VP

 Each day goes by, I'm more convinced that this election with turn on fear of terrorism.
 The Chimp will be playing soldiers-cherring ads non-stop once the campaign warms up.

 between now and November, I think we can count on Osama to strike America again,
 and crazily, the voters will rally 'round the guy who went to sleep on the job - again.
 

 I believe there's only one man who can counter Bush's claim to be a "war monkey..."

..

#1 Beheader Vows to Assassinate Iraq Premier

...
"I'm a sick bastard."

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The tape, seen on an Islamic Web site, is supposedly from al-Zarqawi, the Jordanian-born
 handjob who claims he beheaded Nicholas Berg and Kim Sun-il, threatened to assassinate
 Iraq's interim prime minister and fight the Americans "until Islamic rule is back on Earth."

 After the slaying, U.S. forces launched an airstrike on what the Americans said was an
 al-Zarqawi hideout in Fallujah. It was the second U.S. airstrike on Fallujah since Saturday.
 

 I'm certainly no military tactical expert, but I have an idea. Throw an airtight ring around Fallujah,
  and just to be clear, "airtight" is the opposite of what you guys threw around Osama at Bora, Bora.

 Then slowly constrict that ring, letting the women, children and old men out.
  Then constrict that ring tighter, and photograph and fingerprint any men who choose to leave.
  What you'll have left is the hardcore, fight-to-the-death types and maybe Zarqawi.

 But like I said, I'm not tactician, so if you have a better idea, make it so.

 Subject: Reagan on the $10 bill

 If they ever but Reagans face on the $10 bill, I will always be
 asking for two $5 when ever my change comes back as $10

 William

 Quotes

"To the best of my knowledge it is not true that we were ever offered him by the Sudanese
  even though they later claimed it. I think it's total bull. Mr. Absurabi, the head of the Sudanese
  government was a buddy of bin Laden's. They were business partners together. There was no way
  in the wide world this guy who was in business with bin Laden in Sudan was going to give him up to us."
    --Bill Clinton,  setting the record straight about the years of lies by hate radio  Attribution

 I don't think Clinton is handling these interviews very well.

 He seems to be stuck a little.
 First we had that very strange, "My pickle in history" comment at the White House.
 Bill, what the hell does that mean?  And why did you say that at such an historic, official moment?

 I've heard/read 5-6 interviews and he says the exact same thing at every stop.
 Then we get the inevitable, "Why did you risk your presidency by messing with Monica?"
 and stupidly, in every interview he says, "Because I could."

 He's had three years to think about the very best way to answer that question,
 and that's the best he could do after three years?  I have a better answer, Bill.

 How about,

"Because people, mostly men, do things every day to make their life easier, to get some
  quick, cheap thrill or just for some dumbass, testosterone I-just-wanted-it reason."

 Men are pigs, they want what they want.
 We know it's wrong, but so is smoking, drinking, gambling, speeding, cursing and other things that
 people do every day just because they figure the fun will probably outweigh the chance of being caught..
 Besides, if the GOP is right, and Hillary cut him off back in the eighties, what's a man to do?
 I can think of two things not on Hillary's "to do" list, and Monica didn't know what "no" meant.

 It's a stupid question to ask - why did you nearly have sex with her?
 It's like, "Why did you drink that beer?  Why did you watch that ballgame? Why do you drink
 expensive tequila? Why did you smoke that joint? Why did you go to Vegas?  Why do you play poker?"

 Maybe men aren't dogs, ...maybe we're all just three years old.
 We see something we want, and we grab it, like a baby grabbing a hot iron or a pair of scissors
 The question might as well have been, "Why did you stare at that pretty woman's cleavage?"

 Granted, Bill screwed up and there's no excuse,  but don't ask Adrian Brody,
"Why did you kiss Halle Berry that way during the biggest moment of your life?"

 ...because he just might answer, "because I could."

 Quotes

"I was afraid that I would lose my daughter's love and respect. You know, my daughter
  is a remarkable person.  But sooner or later, every child learns that his or her parents
  are not perfect. But this was way beyond that, and it was a big dose to swallow."
    --Bill Clinton, using the wrong metaphor again - Bill, you outta practice?    Attribution

 Texas Republicans Urged to Drop 'Christian Nation'
   ha ha  Bush has a home grown Jew problem

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Anti-Defamation League, which fights anti-Semitism and religious discrimination,
 asked the Texas GOP to stop calling the United States a "Christian nation" in its platform.

"America was founded on the belief that freedom of religion requires that the government
 take no official stance on, or participate in, religious activity or religion," the group said in a
 letter to Tina Benkiser, the chairwoman of the Texas Republican Party.

 Benkiser said in a statement Texans believe the party represents their beliefs and values.
 

 What a lie and what a joke.
  You can't say, "Texans believe," in this or that.

 That's like me saying, "BartCoppers like to play poker."
  Well, that's maybe 1.23 percent true, but saying that would be damn misleading,
  and in this case what we have is just more religious elitism/stupidity.

 Everybody knows whichever God the Texas GOP believes in is the real God,
  and those darkie people from foreign lands are so stupid, they probably worship Allah!.

 Religion is a trap.

 If you're religious, you're forced to dream up some clever, diplomatic way to tell your friend
  or ally that they're all wrong about the "true God," so why don't they just "knock it off"
  and convert to the same slice of superstituous insanity that you believe in, so you can be friends?

 OR

 You could each pick up a science book and read it and try to discover a logical reason to reject 4000
  years of murderous, nonsensical, religiously-insane bellicose behavior ...and sip some Chinaco, instead

 Trust me - it works.

 Terrorists for Kerry
   by Dick the toe-sucker Morris

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The al Qaeda/Ba'ath Party strategy in Iraq and Afghanistan is, at core, a political one. They seek not
 just to pull Iraq into chaos, but to defeat President Bush as well.  Every bomb, terror attack, suicide raid
 or urban guerilla offensive is aimed squarely at ending Bush's political career. Ironically, the real test of
 American resolve will not be our willingness to stay in Iraq, but our desire to keep Bush in office.

 Al Qaeda and the Ba'ath Party want to defeat Bush to avenge his tough stance against them after the 9/11 attacks.

 You mean stopping the hunt for Al Qaeda to go after Saddam's oil?
 That's why they hate him?
 Because he broke off the pursuit of Al Qaeda to attack Saddam, who Osama called an infidel?)
  They really hate Bush for that?
 

 They know that John Kerry would usher back the Clinton days of timid U.S. reaction (self-serving horseshit) and
 that Kerry's likely repeal of vital sections of the Patriot Act would open the door for their terror strikes in America.

 We always knew they'd frame the argument this way:
 Osama and Kerry want Bush defeated,so the only way to defeat terrorism,
 is to elect Governor Bush to the presidency of the United States.

 You know who can make that go away?
 
 

..

 Film of the Fascist Liberal
  Why Michael Moore scares them so much

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 It's not impossible that the torturers at Abu Ghraib÷including even Saddam Hussein's own precedent-setting torturers
 ÷were inspired by the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs. Quentin tarantino made sadism hip and sent it 'round the world.
 Now we're stuck in the middle of a global crisis for which neither he, nor Michael Moore, have an answer.

 Yeah, mankind had never thought of torture until Reservoir Dogs came along, you putz!
 

 Moore's supposed "coup" of Bush visiting a Florida elementary school after being informed of the first WTC hit turns out a dud.
 Moore times Bush's visit with a digital counter but clearly we're not watching Bush wallow in playtime or indecision.
 It's seven minutes of the most powerful man in the world suffering.

 Maybe Bush was afraid one of those kids would outwit him with a trick question.

 He's miserably distracted. Moore's insensitivity ÷certain to the point of hostility that he alone is right
 ÷amounts to liberalism with a fascist face.

 ha ha
  You call Moore "insensive" for asking why, when America was clearly under a massive millitary attack,
 " war president" George W. Patton sat there and read the goat story to the kids instead of doing his goddamn job?

 In this snippet, I'm reading a letter from Ed Gillespie,
 top fascist at the Republican National Committee.

 Click  Here

 Chicago Pokerfest is mostly sold out

..

  Here is a list of people who are officially "in" Pokerfest Chicago.
 If your name's not on the list, you're not in yet.

  Click  Here  for the important updates.

 Subject: funny

 I found this in the weird nes of the day section, thanks to The Tampa Tribune-AP, 5-8-04

 And in May, former Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, who presided over
 the state's 2000 presidential recount, revealed that her absentee ballot in a March 2004
 local election was not counted because she forgot to sign it.

 Les

 VCR Alert

 I know it's wrong, but I think Simple Life, Paris Hilton's TV show is a hoot!
  They went shopping in Miami and spent $112,000 on dresses, purses and shoes at one store.
  Paris bought her little dog a massage - probably paid hundred of dollars for that.
  She takes that dog everywhere, even to lakers games.

..

 Did you see them feed the monkey last week?   We couldn't stop laughing.
  Did you see that old cowboy wearing chaps with no pants?

 They got to a Florida tollboth, and the toll taker asked Paris if she had any money.
  She said, "I have $350 million, but not on me!"

 ha ha

 Tonight they go to a nudist colony.

 Biography has Bill Clinton, 60 Minutes does Torture at Gitmo

 But the night's big draw is...

 World Poker Tour  -  Reno Hilton's Million Dollar World Poker Challenge
  Chicago Pokerfesters should watch and bone up on poker subtleties.
 

 Clinton on Air America Radio's O'Franken Factor Thursday

 Clinton on Larry King's Wives Thursday

..
"Dat's right! Clinton takes
  your calls for a full hour."

 Michael Moore terrorizes the Bushies!
   by my good friend  John Gorenfeld

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"We've sent out probably well over 200,000 e-mails," says Melanie Morgan, a talk radio host, of the MAF campaign.
 With no small dose of glee, Morgan says of the cinemas targeted by MAF's letter-writing campaign: "We've been
 causing them an enormous amount of aggravation."... after the grass-roots political group MoveOn.org launched
 a counteroffensive, letters of support for the film's release began outpacing negative letters (according to an unscientific
 survey of five theater owners) at roughly 3-to-1. Jennifer Caleshu of the Little Theatre, in Rochester, N.Y., says she's
 received on the order of 3,000 e-mails. For every letter accusing her of soothing terrorists by showing the film, she says,
 seven are encouraging. Caleshu says that to every negative e-mail she's received she replies by quoting the First Amendment.
"I've gotten some real personal hate mail back about that," she says."

 It now seems that MAF is doing little more than providing free publicity for "Fahrenheit 9/11,"
 whose tag line now smirks, "Controversy? What controversy?"
 

 Right-wing religious extremists have nothing but hate to hold them together.

..
"We are sick bastards."

 The Ann Coulter Challenge
     from  nypress.com

..

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Last week, Ann Coulter appeared on "Hannity & Colmes" looking haggard and clinically insane.
 The Night of the Living Dead circles underneath her eyes, the lifeless hair -- it looks like she's been
 living on canned foods for the past two months. Ann looked like she should be pushing a shopping cart,
 not politicking for Bush. It wasn't just what she said -- like repeatedly accusing Holocaust survivor
 George Soros of being an anti-Semite -- it was how she said it. She laughed insanely after every
 sentence fragment she uttered, a clear symptom of late-stage paranoid-schizophrenia."

 The saddest part was when Hannity flashed the cover of Coulter's upcoming How to Talk to a Liberal.
 There she is, posing full-length in a tight black mini, a childless MILF-wannabe trying to pass herself off as a
 40-something far-right pin-up. Ann's star is sagging, and apparently her handlers don't have the heart to tell her.

 Which brings me to my challenge.

: I propose that you and I spend a night together in a four-star hotel. We will wine together, we will dine together,
 we will harden each other's nipples with erotic pillow talk about Sen. Joe McCarthy, and yes, Ann, we will f***.
 Ann, here's the dare: I am betting that no matter how much you try, Ann Coulter, cannot make me ****.
 

 Wait, doesn't Ann Coulter already have a boyfriend?

..

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 Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com

..
   Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."

 Shrl, call  The BartPhone, just to say "Hi!"
 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
  That would be really cool, and we'll catch you at The Joint on your next American tour.

 bartcop.com  and BartCop are trademarks of attempts at humor.
 
 

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