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Show 47 is up! 
Links below and in the members section.
Chicago Update:
Some people asked about the after-party.
I can't tell you what's going to happen Saturday night, ...but
I can tell you the plan.
The Tequila Roadhouse is a large, old-time wooden tavern
with lots of tequila, (they have three bars)
and it looks like some kind of fun bar that you'd see in an old
Chicago movie. The last thing it is is plastic.
It's more early seventies Allman Brothers than Britney Spears.
The Tequila Roadhouse is at 1653 N. Wells St: (312) 440-0535
One plan says we could meet there around 10 PM.
We're not trying to create a crowd, but some non-poker
people wrote
and asked if there was any way to get together and do a shot
of tequila.
They have at least one bottle of Chinaco, so if
you're coming, don't be late.
The great Bruce Yurgil http://home.earthlink.net/~ifness/index.html
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In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "My dad thinks my mom's funny
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Dueling Quotes
"Four years ago, Edwards was a personal-injury
lawyer specializing in Jacuzzi cases."
--Tucker Carlson, remindinmg us the GOP really does have a heart, commenting
on a case
John Edwards won
for the family of an eight-year old girl who had her intestines sucked
out
by the suction
of a defective swimming pool drain she got caught in Attribution
I guess if that happened to Tucker Carlson's daughter, he's say,
"That's OK, I don't want to sue over
something this trivial."
"I know it's a terrible thing when Whoopi Goldberg
makes salacious fun of C-Plus
Augustus's last name. I know that
society may simply collapse. But Tucker carlson
is a professional communicator at the
top of his profession who, because he couldn't
come up with anything else to say at
the moment, smugly dispatches the tragedy of a
child whose guts were ripped out. (Later
in the same show, he told co-host James Carville
to "Lighten up," about his comments.)
It was an interesting evening -- not only should
Tucker Carlson have lost every job in
the professional media that he has, and not only
did he lose forever any right to criticize
anyone for intemperate speech, he at that
moment should have been shunned by decent
people for the rest of his sorry life.
Jacuzzi cases. Christ."
--Charles Pierce, Altercation Attribution
Since our side refuses to fight back like the Freepers do, Tucker
Carlson can say any goddamn
thing in the world and keep his job, but if a liberal says something,
they get fired.
Our side doesm't want to win.
We don't want it as bad as they do.
They fight for every inch every minute.
Democrats?
Well, if they hand us vidtory, we might accept it, but it's not
worth fighting for.
Ex-general:
War planners seduced by exiles
This nut doesn't understand BFEE/oilmen's greed
Excerpt:
Gen. John Keane, retired, who served
as the Army's vice chief of staff during the war,
told the House Armed Services Committee:
"We did not see it coming. And we were
not properly prepared and organized to
deal with it. . . . Many of us got seduced by
the Iraqi exiles in terms of what the outcome
would be."
Keane's testimony echoes a recent admission
by Wolfowitz (R-Murderer), who told the
House committee that Bush believed the
capture of Iraqi leaders would quell the violence.
Horseshit!
That theory pre-supposes that Bush's motives
were pure, but innocently misguided.
Bush's motives were to take something from
another kid's sandbox because his
big brother (our military) would back him
up and make it an unfair fight.
GOP greed has no bounds.
Absolute power corrupts.
"I can take it, and screw the morality.
I want what I want and just try
to f-ing stop me."
Bush knew this war would cost a lot of American lives - but he
didn't care.
They billions they're stealing outweigh any moral delimema Bush
chooses to ignore.
..
"Oil makes
the world go 'round..."
Quotes
"The other day my opponent said, when he was
with some entertainers from Hollywood,
that they were the heart and soul of
America. I believe the heart and soul of America is
found in places like this, right here
in Marquette."
--Dubya, sucking ass in every small
town in every swing state Attribution
Iraq Premier Expects Tough Weeks Ahead
Excerpt:
Iraq's interim prime minister said Thursday
he expects insurgents to strike harder in the
coming weeks and announced the creation
of an intelligence service to combat terrorism.
Prime Minister Iyad Allawi's comments to
The AP came amid a spate of new violence, including
a car bomb Thursday that killed 10 people
and wounded 40 others. Also, a decapitated body
wearing an orange jumpsuit was found in
the Tigris River, possibly that of a foreigner taken hostage.
Dude, you're being waaaaay too optimistic.
I hope I'm wrong, but I imagine your immediate future is going
to be pure hell and close calls
until the beheaders capture you and make you the star of their
latest video.
Dude, you need to be like Bart and have a good time every day.
Pokerfest Update
When you get here at 12:30 Saturday, ask for "The
Meeting Room"
don't ask where Gamblefest 2004 is :)
The setup looks better than we could've hoped for.
They have a nice sound system and a giant screen projection system
that plays DVDs so I hope someone remembers to bring some good
porn.
This must be the nuttiest old hotel in downtown Chicago.
The room numbers aren't sequential - I've never seen that before.
Also, parking is non-existent so unless you get lucky, your only
option is to pay for valet service, but it's not too pricey.
There's no pull-in to register, so you must be driving West,
then pull right up to the front door and scream, "Valet!"
Bring your own booze, Zendaba Jim brought some Cokes & 7 up
Full report Sunday.
Quotes
"Two minutes after we leave, there's going
to be a revolution, and the meanest, toughest,
smartest, most vicious guy will take
over. And he'll have WMDs, which Saddam didn't have."
-- Trump, getting it
right Attribution
Larry King Backs Out of Michael Moore Interview
Excerpt:
Larry King has confused controversial director
Michael Moore by inexplicably ending
talks to book the film-maker for his prime-time
talk show.
King's producers were negotiating to have
the Fahrenheit 9/11 star his show - and even
told Moore's agents they wanted a White
House representative on the show to rebut the
film's anti-Bush comments - but King's
team have refused to continue with the booking,
raising suspicions the president's advisors
urged King to reject the outspoken political activist.
Obviously King wants to please his BFEE
masters.
He talked to the wife of serial killer
Melendez last night.
he recently talked to Jeffery Dahmer's
parents, but Moore's too hot?
King only gets about a million viewrs a
night, but Karl Rove must've figured
that million could swing the election,
so no doubt King got a call saying
if he every wanted another Republican on
his show, he'd better stiff Moore.
..
"Dat's
right!
I work for the BFEE"
saw it on Marty's 
Quotes
"Barbara and Jenna have hit the campaign trail
with their dad. In a recent interview,
Jenna says she's 'not political' and
the electoral process doesn't interest her. Oh, she's
daddy's little girl. Pollsters say
the strategy is very effective: One daughter distracts us
from the economy while the other distracts
us from the war in Iraq. Barbara just graduated
from Yale, and plans to work in the
pediatric AIDS program at Baylor University ... until
her Dad cuts off the funding."
--Craig Kilborn,Attribution
Morning Wood
It's not often you see a major corporation
with an erection, but that's what happened
Friday morning on FOX Whore News waiting
for Martha Stewart to be sentenced.
FOX acted like it was impeachment all over
again.
They went from one breathless whore to
another, with wild-ass speculation about
Martha "going to the slammer" and Wall
Street's jail sale" of Martha stock, which
was all horseshit because her stock was
actually up slightly today.
Again and again and again and again, (while
ignoring all other news) FOX wankers
explained how Martha would screw herself
(Dick Cheney, call your office).
If she showed remorse, it would kill her
chances of appeal. If she dared to tell
the truth, that this was a politicall motivated
witchhunt by the BFEE to "get" a
Clinton friend like Martha (and Tommy Chong?)
while Kennyboy, Anthrax boy,
Zarqawi and former Bush partner Osama all
remain free.
Of course, since it was a celebrity trial,
they had to have on the attorney for the
vulgar Pigboy, Kennedy rape attorney Roy
Black. Roy seemed very pleased with
her verdict. Someday, if there's a Koresh,
Roy might be on FOX smiling and beaming
because he got America's senior Nazi bastard
a sentence for heroin dealing and money
laundering which is less than the federal
sentencing guidelines.
You know the Justice Department will instruct
her captors to force her to clean toilets
and suffer selected sexual abuse - because
that's what all liberals deserve.
When the sentence was revealed - five months
instead of the possible sixteen
- the FOX whores were more somber than
when Saint Reagan died.
Their group erection fizzled.
.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Emmy Denies Imperioli
I looked everywhere and couldn't find a complete list of Emmy
nominations,
and then I remembered that Marty at is
the very best,
and sure enough, there was the list I needed.
Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
James Gandolfini of "The Sopranos,"
is a great actor, but can anyone name a scene he
did last season that was as good as Imperioli's reaction to Ade's
confession? That was
the best scene I saw i\on TV last year, but it was ignored by
the nominating committee.
Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Amber Tamblyn of "Joan of Arcadia,"even
as a kid, can out-act Edie Falco of "The Sopranos,"
and Allison Janney of "The West Wing," but one of the older gals
will win because, like
most things in this world, the Emmy's are all about politics
- not acheivement/
Drama Series:
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," "Joan
of Arcadia," "The Sopranos," "24," Fox; "The West Wing,"
No losers in that bunch, but maybe they should give it to C.S.I.
for taking CBS to Number One.
Quotes
"I do hope the administration changes in November,
and I
don't care who is in office as long
as it's not this one."
-- Stanley Tucci, a great actor and, apparently,
pretty smart Attribution
Everyone knows lefties make better lovers
Breaking News
As of 10:15 Chicago time...
Martha Stewart stock up
30 percent after news of her relatively light sentence.
CGOP is coming apart at the seems after hearing this news.
K-Mart is running a 25 percent off sale on anything with Martha's
name on it.
K-Mart stock up 2.5 points on the Martha news.
Norway
Best Place to Live by UN
America was tops until Bush destroyed
it with his greed
Police
hunt for 'stolen' U2 album
World's biggest band trying to avoid being 'Paris Hiltoned'
California
Fire Remains Out of Control
Fire takes a dozen luxury homes, another 1000 threatened
..
"Burn,
baby, burn!
Screw California
They
didn't vote for me..."
Quotes
"Senator Ditka would've made Governor Ventura
look like Churchhill."
-- Jim Rome, 'Rome is burning' on ESPN2
early Friday morning
Have you heard the latest?
Senator Ted Nugent?
Bush reviews 'My Pet Goat' for Amazon.com
Excerpt:
Reviewer: cokehead mcbusherson from
vacationing in crawford
I remember growin' up and havin books like
this read to me. even in high school, prep school, collage
( thanks dad and granpop! ) and when i
got my MBA ( my mom calls it my "Major Bull$hit Award ),
people read to me. I admit, I was a bit
nervous reading in front of all those students, because most of
the time, Uncle Dick and Ultimate Warrior
Rummy ( that's what he likes to be called ) tell me what to say
in that little thing they put in my ear.
But, ( and it's a really big but, heh, heh ) Christian Soldier and fellow
Promisemaker Johnny Ashcroft needed to
borrow it to tell Ari ( i still don't know why that fella doesn't
have a girlfriend ) what to say at his
press confrance!! Boy, was I mad!! Grrr!!!
Uncle Dick said to just pretend that I was
at an intellah...intelloh...CIA briefing, and I should put on my "smart
face".
If Laura didn't give me my "medicine",
that morning, I don't think I could've satted there for that long. Just
when I
was about to open the floor up for questions
( Uncle Dick usually doesn't let me do this, but today he said it was OK
)
someone whispered in my ear about planes
or something. That's when I started to remember flying those planes when
i was in the Air national Guard for two
months ( thanks dad! ). Then I found the book "My Get Poat", and let me
tell ya,
it was just like the lives of the American
people. There was struggle, hardships, struggle, and adversity, and struggle.
At lease that's what I got from the pictures.
Subject: BCR Show 35
Bart, I read someone else complaining about
show 35 too.
I can't get Parts 2, 3, and 4.
I can listen to Part 1 but when I click
on the other one it goes
to that standard, The page cannot
be found
MT
Damn, I hate to hear that.
35 was a very good show - The Bush Beatdown - it's the show I'm
sending
to the Demo Convention. Some volunteers
(I need more) are going to
give out CDs of that show to try to drum up some interest in
BCR.
I just used my laptop to click on Part Two of Show 35 and it came right up.
One suggestion: Change your audio browser.
At home, my default audio browser Winamp.
The laptop defaults to Windows Media Player
Gates forces IE to ask me if I want every future file till
the end of time played
with his spectacularly inadequate IE audio browser and I said
"No"
just to
punish the greedmeister for screwing up my daily work with his
arrogance.
So I don't know what to tell you. I take a complaint like
this very seriously,
but since it's working for me I have nothing to fix on my end.
I always suggest
people ask some 15 year old, because they're listening to MP3s
all day and
they know their audio protocols inside out.
If anyone else has a suggestion, please help out MT and me.
After years of Nazi nonsense books,
we finally have some balance at the bookstores
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Thai
Troops Desert Desert
Getting our ahead of the beheadings
Excerpt:
"We have started withdrawal procedures... and
I expect our last soldier would arrive
home on September 20," General Chettha
Thanajaro told reporters here.
Thailand sent a 451-strong contingent of
troops to Iraq for a purely humanitarian
mission and the one-year deployment had
been due to end in late September.
America - more isolated than ever.
One by one, our "allies" in the "coalition"
are getting the hell out of Dodge.
Subject: Fahrenheit 9/11
The right has been telling me that the movie is full of lies.
They are correct because actual footage
of Bush, Cheney
and Rumsfeld is most of the film.
Patrick C.
is very different from anything you've ever heard before.
Click Here to get 3 BartCop Radio Shows on CD delivered for just $24
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Mr Perfect Watch
As of noon Friday, poor Eldrick is tied
for 22nd place in the British Open.
Did you know he's ranked 1567th for shots
off the tee?
ha ha
He can out, tho, ranked 4th or so.
But I'm having a very busy weekend that
doesn't involve a lot of TV.
If Eldrick makes a run for the title, (ha
ha) could I depend on you
to throw a few "Hex
on Thee"s at the TV.
Thanks
Up to twenty views per penny.
Nobody gives you a better deal that that.
'C.S.I.'
Actors Fox, Eads Fired
Sounds like the producers are Republicans
Excerpt:
Actors Jorja Fox and George Eads, who play
investigators Sara Sidle
and Nick Stokes, were fired after asking
for more money, variety reports.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Television's Number One show is built on the chemistry between
the characters..
This firing probably won't hold up, surely cooler heads will
prevail, but the producers
are making hundreds of millions of dollars from each season
of C.S.I. and they're
trying to save a buck or two on cast salaries in mid-run?
I thought the Friends set a new standard that sticking
together is the smart move,
but then again Bill Peterson (Grissom) co-produces, so maybe
this is suicide.
He wants to lose this goldmine as soon as possible. He has said
in interviews
that there's no amount of money that could get him to do seasons
6 and 7,
so maybe they think they're Law & Order and
they can just switch the cast.
I realize once you have your tens of millions in the bank it's
not always about
the money, but lots of people have walked away from hit shows
only to find
that nobody else wants them in another role and they end up with
nothing.
Click to Enter
If your name's not on the list, you're not in.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
872,
880,
885,
887,
892 dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain
Do you have an opinion?
Call the
Then listen for your call on...
918-748-1714
You have two minutes to record your message.
Subject: Outrageously Cool Ads on Air America
Tommy M has done it again!
I hope to read about all your new hits.
Too bad the good ribbin southern barbeque
folks won't hear those ads today...
Stephen.
Tommy Mack deserves all the blame.
People don't know how talented he is.
He does audio,
he does video,
he does internet,
he gives great soundboard,
he produces,
he writes,
he edits,
he's never at a loss for words,
he does "Whose Line Is It?" better than those TV guys.
When he & I do that back-and-forth stuff, I'm doing all
the work.
I find ten stories and plot out where the path might lead,
but then Tommy
comes in cold and gets in all the best lines - even when he's
slightly hungover.
Yep, he got lucky when he ran into me :)
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..
Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The
Joint on your next American tour.
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