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Today's Tequila Treehouse...
Quote of the Day "When the chips were down,
Let's see - one man was in Vietnam earning medals
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Quotes
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,
and so are we.
They never stop thinking about new
ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
-- the Monkey who cannot think
and cannot speak Attribution
Why can't Kinda Sleazy spend more time with George, and teach him the meaning of words?.
VETS CHARGE:
KERRY KILLED TEEN
Slaughtered
Animals, Burned Down Tiny Village
Women stampeded, cattle raped
- "I'm George Bush and I approved this
message."
Excerpt:
Kerry earned his Silver Star by killing
a lone, fleeing, teenage Viet Cong in a loincloth.
And if Kerry's superiors had known the
truth at the time, they would never have recommended him for the medal.
The book also claims to detail how Kerry
personally ordered the slaughter of small animals.
This is about the stupidest, clumsiest political attack I've ever
seen, and I've seen them all.
If Kerry replies with humor, he could get a big bounce out of
this.
McCain said this was horseshit, and called on Bush
to knock it off.
"They did the same thing to me in South
Carolina, remember?" McCain told the AP
Think how scared they must be...
John, I have the perfect reply for you (This is why you need me on your team)
"I'd rather look into the future and solve
America's problems, but if George Bush wants
to relive the Vietnam war, I suggest
he and I compare our war experience on live TV,
with three cameras, two microphones,
no advisors and no studio audience."
John, you just won the election, because that's a bet he can't afford to call.
John, beef up your Secret Service detail.
Trust me, they will NOT hand power to you after
you when you win in November.
Quotes
"It turns out that the latest terror alert
from Bush was based on information that is
more than three years old. "There is
nothing right now that we are hearing that is new,"
a senior law enforcement official who
had been briefed on the alert told the Wash Post.
"Why did we go to this alert level?" the official
asked. Here's a possibility: DemoCon2004
got Americans looking seriously at
John Kerry. It is appropriate to ask whether Bush,
who has an ugly track record of politicizing
the war on terror, is not so much frightened
by an external threat as it is by an
internal political threat."
--Editorial, The Capital
Times, Attribution
McCain
Condemns Anti-Kerry Ad
"It was the same kind of deal that was pulled on me..."
Excerpt:
John McCain called an ad criticizing John
Kerry's military service "dishonest and dishonorable"
and urged the White House on Thursday to
condemn it as well.
The White House declined.
"It was the same kind of deal that was pulled
on me," McCain told the AP, comparing the ad
to the viscious back-stabbing the BFEE
put on him in South Carolina four years ago.
"I can't believe the president
would pull such a cheap stunt."
Wow, this looks like a BIG-time screw up,
unless the Dems and the press let them off the hook again.
McCain's a pretty popular guy, and calling
this "a cheap stunt" might make the news.
Quotes
"The anti-Kerry ad reopens all the old wounds
of the Vietnam War, which I spent the last
35 years trying to heal. I deplore
this kind of politics. I think the ad is dishonest and dishonorable.
As it is, none of these individuals
served on the boat (Kerry) commanded. Many of his crew have
testified to his courage under fire.
I think John Kerry served honorably in Vietnam. I think Bush
served honorably in the Texas Air National
Guard during the Vietnam War."
--John McCain, campaigning with the dishonest and dishonorable George Cocaine
Bush Attribution
Peterson
Trial Delayed Over New Evidence
Does Geragos have a rabbit in that
hat?
Exerpt:
Scott Peterson's murder trial will be delayed
until early next week so the defense
can investigate recently discovered evidence,
the judge announced Thursday after
a closed-door session with the lawyers.
Mark Geragos said outside court that the
evidence is "potentially exculpatory" and
was "reluctantly" turned over by the prosecution.
No details about the evidence were announced.
The announcement about the trial delay
came after the judge consulted with both sides in chambers.
"How many times am I going to have to get discovery
by cross-examination?" Geragos shouted. .
Rumor has it the evidence is physical, not some new eyewitness to a possible sighting of Laci.
Also, why does it seem that the prosecution in this case and Kobe's
is so incredibly inept?
In both cases, the judge has had to scold the state several times
(and severely) for cheating.
.
Swiftboat
Vets a FReeper Scheme
Hot News from the BartCop forum
Excerpt:
From the www.bartcop.com forum comes more
information on the webmaster for "SVAK"-- Mr. Scott Swett,
aka "Independent Times" at Free Republic
dot com; and also a director (on the board) of Free Republic Network
-- the Parent Org. of Free Republic. In
fact, some of the info from SVAK is on the FRN server...
The poster, "Backlash2" has posted the most
recent IRS 990-ez tax statement from FRN listing Scott Swett
as a director, and multiple cross-references
I.D.-ing him with both orgs.
So this whole thing is just another FREEPER
enterprise.
Worth looking at, there's been some hot
discussion, and lots of scrutiny...
Subject: Another side of the News
US Senator Mark Dayton (D-MN) charges that
if the timeline of air defense response
as promoted in the Kean Commission's best-selling
book is correct, then the timeline
presented repeatedly by NORAD during the
last two years was completely wrong.
Yet now no one at NORAD is willing to comment
on their own timeline!
We have localized heightened terror alerts
based on information a couple years old.
The UN criticizes the US and Britain for
using the threat of terrorism to sow fear.
Bush defends the Iraq War...again, and
Kerry has an exit plan.
Many thanks to BartCop.com
for publishing this email with the
link from Entertainment!
Tune in to "Another Side of the News" with
Paul Berenson, Saturdays 9am-10am PST
on KCSB-FM 91.9 or listen on our webcast
http://www.kcsb.org.
Marty's Entertainment Page
Quotes
"Had I been reading to children and had my
top aide whispered in my ear that
America is under attack, I would have
told those kids very nicely and politely that
the president has something that he
needs to attend to...and I would have attended to it."
--John Kerry, nobody's pet goat, Attribution
Subject: Uh... was publishing the medical pot guy's name a good idea?
Jeez Bart!
Did you have to publish the name & hometown
of the guy who said he was
maybe gonna keep smoking medical marywanna
since it worked for him?
I mean, I'm pretty sure the Bush empire
is gonna collapse (ok, I'm an optimist,
but a working-hard-to-achive-results kinda
optimist), but it hasn't happened yet
and Ashcroft still has a hard-on for prosecuting
the living shit out of guys like this.
I sell pot for a living, and I'd hate to see a fellow doper get burned.
Gabby Johns,
Mosquitoville, VT
Gabby, the letter was real, but I made up the name.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LibrariansforKerry-Edwards/
Not sure why, but bartcop.com does well with librarians.
If you're a librarian, you should join.
Quotes
"I am happy to be on the side of truth."
--Rush Limbaugh, "truth teller"
who won't let an unscripted caller on his show Attribution
Two
Albany, N.Y., Mosque Leaders Arrested
Is this any more real than New York's terror alert last weekend?
Excerpt:
Two leaders of a mosque in Albany, N.Y.,
were arrested on charges stemming from
an alleged plot to purchase a shoulder-fired
missile that would be used to assassinate the
Pakistani ambassador in New York, according
to court papers filed Thursday.
So, the government offered these two guys missles? And then
arrested them?
The Bush administration has gotten very effective in the last
ten days.
This missle sting could be from yesterday or 2001, and they're
just releasing it now.
.
"I am a
war,
peace,
war president!"
Subject: Why are veterans sacrificing their lives?
Dear Bart,
I'm an active Army Reservist.
I've become a loyal reader and admirer of
bartcop, and I appreciate your
kick-ass-take-no-prisoners approach with
the radical right repukes.
I have no desire to be called up to participate
in shrub's oil war of convenience,
however I extended my enlistment last month
for two more years.
Here's why:
This time last year Rumsfeld's Department
of Defense was facing huge losses this year with
soldiers exhausting their enlistments and
getting the hell out and away from their madness in Iraq.
It was very real that they were not going
to come up with enough soldiers to fight their war, without a draft.
Then someone up there got really creative
and figured out that all they needed was a strong incentive for reenlistment.
When they found out that large money bonuses
were not going to get the job done they suddenly realized they had an
even stronger incentive. A negative
one.
Every soldier who gets out, by law, is obligated
to three years of "inactive reserve" status during which time can be
recalled to active duty if it is determined
to be necessary for the national defense of this country. Word was sent
down through the chain and through the
recruiters to spread the threat of not only immediate recall, but automatic
deployment to the gulf if you tried
to get out. The threat worked for some but not enough.
Then they strengthened the threat with action
and we have seen over 7,000 reactivated.
That was all it took.
A shudder has gone through the whole reserve
and active forces.
Suddenly enlistment extensions and re-ups
are climbing fast.
Last month I was slated to get out at the
end of the month. I have qualification in five different military
specialities,
two of which are in critical demand in
the gulf. My present "job" is not in demand. I reenlisted not
to support shrub's
oil crusade, but with the hope that I can
stay below their radar and ride this thing out.
I have no doubts what so ever that many,
many other soldiers reenlisting are doing the same thing.
If you don't mind I will not give my name.
Just call me Staff-Sgt-not-all-that-dumb.
They say in Saddam's Iraq, a jeep full of soldiers would pull
up to a house and "draft" the men inside.
And if they resisted, they shot them and their family, so I guess
Bush's approach is somewhat better than that.
But threatening those who want out with certain Gulf duty is a low blow from a bloody-hands deserter.
..
Shot of Chinaco - for your service.
Feds
Arrest Man in 2001 Anthrax Probe
Damn, the BFEE must be worried about DemoCon2004
Excerpt:
Federal agents investigating the deadly
2001 anthrax attacks searched homes Thursday belonging
to the founder of an organization that
trains medical professionals to respond to chemical and
biological attacks. He was later arrested
in an altercation with family members at a motel, police said.
So this guy was what - a "person of interest?"
And you arrested him in a "domestic dispute?"
Gee, that's almost as good as catching bin Laden,
but I'll be damned if the press isn't treating this like they
discovered a cure for polio.
(Shout out to my man JSY in PittsburgH!)
Debate point
They say,
"Conservatives are proud to say they're
conservatives,
but liberals are ashamed to
admit they're liberals."
So, ...you bait the trap. You ask in return,
"Are you saying the 'liberal'" label is a bad thing, ...a perjorative, ...a negative?"
They'll chortle and respond, "Why of
course it is, nobody wants to be a liberal these days,"
then ask them to explain how the liberals dominate the media.
If "nobody wants to be liberal,"
why are billion dollar news conglomerates like
CNN and NBC so "liberally slanted?"
They want you to think the billion dollar corporations want to help liberals more than make money.
You can't believe that.
You just can't.
Get Your War On, (c) 2004 by David Rees. Used with permission
1960s
TV host shot on visit to wife's grave
"Journey to Adventure," in intensive
care in Florida
Al-Sadr
militiamen wage fierce battle in Najaf
US chopper shot down, one soldier dead, many wounded
U.S.
Job Growth Meager, Markets Stunned
With a Republican in charge, why be stunned?
Carbs
May Raise Cancer Risk
Everything causes cancer - even bottled water
Bush
Forced to Defend Terror-Threat Alert
Why issue alert DemoCon week if it was 3 years old?
Excerpt:
Bush today defended the decision to issue
terrorism warnings and tighten security
in New York and Washington, saying "the
threats we're dealing with are real" even though
some of the intelligence on which the government
acted was as much as four years old.
Bush said the government had an obligation
to tell Americans about the threats, even though
some have questioned whether the warnings
were politically motivated to strengthen the
president's image as commander in chief
in an election year.
"When we find out intelligence that is real, that
threatens people, I believe we have an
obligation as government to share that
with people," said the man who took America
to war on faulty intelligence that made
his friends and contributors wildly rich.
America still trusts this madman, no matter how many people he
kills.
"I love the way he's fighting terror," they swoon, even tho
he's done nothing.
"I love the way he's handled the economy," even tho it's sicker
than it's ever been.
.
"I'm a
likeable guy..."
Subject: Bryant accuser next step
the next step for the accuser of Kobe Bryant-
after the civil case, she will then pose
nude for Playboy
for an undisclosed amount, about 6 figures....for
her figure.
Don in Stockholm
"I want
to see that!!"
Up to twenty views per penny.
Nobody gives you a better deal that that.
Subject: Mike Malloy
bart--
im a faithful reader who recently began
listening to air america radio,
and tonight i had the pleasure of an introduction
to mike malloy.
....
Malloy
attacks the Flying Monkey right weeknights on Air
America radio
can i crawl through my radio and kiss him
full on the lips?
anyone who has the balls to actually speak
the truth
(bible beaters in the south are voting against
their own interests
because they think g-dub is a religious
guy like them) and that
these people are idiots...sigh.
im in love.
JJ
Quotes
"I think there are a lot of reasons to be critical
of the media in America. The media sensationalize
or magnify things that aren't - that
really shouldn't be. There's a big move away from actual reporting,
trying to report facts. It's in newspapers
and everything you read - that a lot more is opinion."
--Laura Bush, explaining news
distorion to Bill O'Reilly, master spinner,
Attribution
What's next, Pickles?
You going to explain, "murder is bad," to Charlie Manson?
Subject: Poor Mrs Bart
Bart, you wrote:
> "I can't wait to be rich, famous, and lusted
after!
> First thing:
> I'll dump Mrs. Bart to marry Courtney
Love,
> ...or, if she's still in rehab - get
me Nancy Grace.
> ...or, if she's making more money hanging
Scott Peterson,
> ...get me Laura the Unloved.
> I need a woman who can make a minute seem like
an hour. "
Bart, dear,
"Courtney Love" Jeeze!
You would be nothing more than "Mr Courtney
Love!" full time!
I don't know who these other women are,
but I bet they are cut from the same cloth!
> "I need a woman who can make a minute seem like an hour. "
Keep it up and Mrs Bart will make your minutes
seem like an hour in Hell!!
Bart, I expect more from you than this!
Shame
on you!
But I still love you kiddo!
S
S, that's a joke.
I need for time to slow down.
Courtney Love is a crazy heroin addict.
Nancy Grace is that screeching harpy on
Larry King
and Laura is Dr Laura, the Queen bitch
of all time.
Being with them would be like being in prison,
where time moves reeeeeal slow :)
Remember, it's a humor page.
Outfoxed,
Fahrenheit 9-11,
Hunting of the President
Order your copies from the BartCop Bookstone
Subject: LMAO, the funniest segment...
yo bart... the teacher and pupil bit (from
yesterday) had me LMFAO.
too damn funny. i thought the same
thing...
i WISH a couple of my teachers had taken
me back to the ball closet (heh heh...)
and taught me some extra curricular lessons.
i realize we can't have this happening on
a widespread basis but for a select few
(you and me, of course) it would've worked wonders!
i also say that it is impossible to sexually harrass a male.
thanks for the laugh!
sugarmoes in maryland/washington d.c.
GO KERRY!!!
Sugarmoes, besides that, Catholics have it worse.
We had girls in class from grades 1-8 (wearing those mandatory
see-thru cotton tops).
Then in High School, (wearing ties every day to class) we had
four years of men only.
When I got to my first class in college, there were cute girls
everywhere
wearing lil' frilly halter tops and snug-fitting hot pants.
How the hell is a Catholic boy supposed to learn in that kind
of environment?
Subject: LeTourneau case
Actually, forbidding the perp to contact
the victim is a pretty standard parole condition,
especially in sex crime cases. This
isn't a case of too much government; it's designed to keep everyone safe.
A set-aside will be easy to obtain, as
he's 21 now, and presumably able to make up his own mind.
EC
Koresh, if you can decide to die for Halliburton when you're
just 17,
you ough to be able to decide who your sex partners will be before
your turn 21.
Like Sugarmoes said, teenage boys don't need protection from horny, older women.
A single act of bravery
Excerpt:
"The Constitution -- the very foundation of this
great country is under attack. It is under attack by a presidency
that is bent upon secrecy, that has to
be dragged kicking and screaming to answer questions, and that follows
a
path of utter recklessness. Its policies
have changed the face of America around the globe from that of a giant
peacemaker to that of a schoolyard bully.
People who once declared a strong allegiance with America now
question our purpose. That is not America.
I have seen our government at its best, but today I fear that we
see our government at its worst."
is different.
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Quotes
"There must be a compelling national need to
put our troops into harm's way.
I felt that. I felt we had a compelling
national need."
--Dubya, at a rally in Michigan,
Attribution
...but the facts prove you were wrong, wrongwrong!
You remind me of Reagan after Iran-Contra.
"In my heart, I didn't commit any crimes,
but the facts and the evidence say otherwise."
Remember all that bragging you used to do about,
"I don't study, I don't read books or newspapers.
I fly by the seat of my pants. I decide
the important issues based on gut instinct."
Hey asshole, your gut instincts have killed almost 1,000 men.
Next time, read the fucking books and newspapers and study a
little.
Thursday at the doctor's office
So I'm sitting in the very crowded doctor's office, waiting over
an hout for him to run a
metal spike thru my knee to fill it up with "turkey wattle."
Can't have more fun than that
Well, they have a fancy name for it. It's called "Supartz."
So I looked up "supartz" with Google, and it said, see "Hyaluronan."
OK, so I looked up Hyaluronan and they still refuse to say what
it is.
The closest I got was, "Hyaluronan is
a substance that is injected directly into
the knee joint, where it may help supplement
the knee joint's natural synovial fluid,
relieving pain and improving your ability
to use the knee. This treatment is also
called viscosupplementation."
"Hyaluronan" is a substance, eh? It makes you woner what they're trying to hide.
So anyway, we're all jammed in this crowded waiting room, watching
Crossfire
on CNN.
They're discussing Kerry's murderous rampage in Vietnam (He shot
children for sport)
when this lady next to me turns and says, "I've
made up my mind who I'm going to vote for."
And I'm thinking - "Oh
no, now I gotta put up with this nutty Okie woman's Bush worship.
Please Doc, hurry with those flesh-tearing
spikes - I'm ready now..."
She says, "I'm a registered Republican,
but I can't stand George W Bush. I'm voting for
the war hero - Kerry. He's a real hero,
Bush had everything handed to him all his life."
Without thinking, I whipped out a bartcop.com
business card and gave it to her.
(Hello nice lady from Kansas! I hope your grandson's bones
are OK!)
We had a nice little chat about the Illegal Monkey who stole his way into the White House.
So what's the moral of the story?
It's remarkable that so many people can't stand the Giggling
Murderer, even the Republican
women will volunteer to any stranger who'll listen that they
can't stand George W. Bush.
BTW, those shots hurt like hell, but my knee does feel better.
Two more flesh-tearing spike appointments and I can go back to
running marathons.
Bush's American soldier body count in Iraq
901,
907,
914,
920,
925 dead American soldiers.
Drip, drip, drip - young lives go down the drain
Sudden debate
Excerpt:
Bart, I am impressed by your standing
invitation to debate the neo-nazis.
I was wondering if your invitation was
also open to opinions from further left than yourself.
Can do!
I hope you can put the bag on me.
Subject: Keyes vs Obama
Bart,
So the Illinois Nazi Party has selected
right-wing nutjob Alan Keyes to run for
the Senate against rising Democrat star
Barack Obama. Yet the RNC and leading
repubs always trash Keyes when they talk
to him or about him.
It couldn't have anything to do with the
fact that Keyes--like Obama--is black, could it?
Russ
The GOP are such cynical bastards - here's what's up.
They know Keyes will lose to Obama, so they kill 4 birds with
one stone.
They tell Keyes,
"If you're any good, you'll win or it's goodbye forever."
Keyes will lose,
and when he loses, they can say, "At least we
ran a negro!"
Which allows Rush to say, "states
aren't ready for negroes yet."
...and there's always that 1
percent chance he could actually win
Please visit out sponsors
There's
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It's more of an "Oh my God!" than a "That's funny..."
Are
you registered to vote?
Are
you sure you're registered?
Excerpt:
Apparently there are groups out there who
buy copies of the voter registration rolls, then send in new
registrations for registered voters giving
them a new address. It's really a more sophisticated version of
the whole thing with the felony lists in
Florida in the last election - however, people aren't being REMOVED
from the voting rolls, and hence there's
no red flag being raised. After all, people DO move and send in
change of address, so there's no reason
for them to suspect voter fraud.
Do you have an opinion?
Call the
Then listen for your call on...
918-748-1714
You have two minutes to record your message.
VCR Alert
Tonight, Tmmy Franks tells Dave
he was hurt the Democrats
didn't invite him to speak at DemoCon2004
Leno has Culli-fornia's walking gorilla on tonight.
Bill Maher's HBO show has somebody good each week.
Celebrity Poker (late Friday
night) has Hank Azaria, Seth Meyers,
Gail O'Grady, Amy Poehler and Jeffrey Ross
Sunday has the finale of USA's 4400
BIG DOG on Jon Stewart Monday
Thought
If that "new evidence" clears Scott Peterson,
will Nancy Grace be able to work in television again?
When will the rapes stop?
When will the tortures stop?
When will the looting stop?
When will the murders stop?
When will the invasions stop?
Use this portal
and they'll send bartcop.com
four cents.
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..
Shirley Manson of the rock group "Garbage."
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop
Member - for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The
Joint on your next American tour.
Title: Avoid dogma, like it was the plague
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