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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Big Dog's Ailing Heart  Bush Crony Election Board Catholics Support Bush? D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  Falling for the Kobe spin  Chevron & Schwarzenegger Why Bart hates Blacks  Kerry 'will fight back' sis says Guantanamo Farce   Quote of the Day "The Republicans are in town this week.    Don't worry, they will only be here until    we are capable of self rule."      --David Letterman,                                                 Attribution

 

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 Quotes

"People in Britain got upset when Giuliani compared Bush to Churchill.
  Bush is upset because he has no idea who Winston Churchill is."
    --Conan O'Brien,   Attribution

 Bill Clinton to Undergo Bypass Surgery
  He's currently in serious condition

  Click  Here
 
 

  Comments?

 Hollywood Liberal

 ...is working on his chilling story.

 Quotes

"Imagine the ability I would have to relate to people if this storm hits.
  I would be homeless and then in touch with people who are homeless. "
   --Rush Limbaugh, who loves playing with a cadaver more than eating food    Attribution

 Bush Tried To Install Crony At Florida Election Board
  They plan to win Florida, legally or not

  Click  Here

  Exerpt:
 The President is doing all he can to once again rig the election in Florida.

 According to the Miami Daily Business Review, Jeb Bush appointee at the Broward County Board
 of Elections hired a law firm headed by two close cronies of President Bush to fight any charges against it
 during the 2004 election. Specifically, the Broward Supervisor of Elections Brenda Snipes hired the law firm
 Blosser & Sayfie.  Justin Sayfie "is a former spokesman for Gov. Bush and currently is co-chair of the
 Bush/Cheney re-election campaign in Broward County." He is also a Bush Ranger (aka. someone who has
 raised more than $100,000 for the President's campaign). James Blosser is also "a top fund-raiser for President
 Bush's re-election campaign."4 Many observers expect the election will be extremely close in Florida and predict
 it will touch off litigation. County election supervisors and their legal teams could play a key role in deciding the election.
 
 

..
"Get used to it - we own Florida..."

  Comments?

 Quotes

"Elliot Spitzer warned the Republicans, 'Don't you dare bring up 9/11! We won't allow it!'
  Well, Giuliani not only did, he spoke of that horrible day with the class.
  He pointed to Bush's leadership, comparing him to Churchill."
    --Rush Limbaugh      Attribution
 

 It's amazing that the Democrats allow the GOP to distort histiry so badly.
 The truth is, Bush couldn't be found that day.
 He was flying from state-to-state in a mad panic.

 The only time we heard from Bush was on videotape,
 so they could start over each time he threw up or wet himself.

 Plus, Giuliani told dozens of lies in that short speech.
 If I can ever find the time, that's the bheatdown I want to do next.

  Click  Here  to get three  Shows (up to six hours) on CD delivered for just $24
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 Quotes

"They raise the terror alert in New York to elevated, no New Yorkers leave.
  A threat by al Qaeda to destroy our financial institution, New Yorkers stand firm.
  Republicans come to town it's like, Get out of here."
      --Jay Leno,      Attribution

 Subject: Did you fall for media spin?

 Bart, you wrote,

> Damn, that looks like a confession to me.
> Kobe, you rat bastard - you raped that woman.

 Bart, you have enough legal experience to recognize a settlement, don't you?
 It looks like this girl didn't want to continue with the case and made an agreement
 that for some amount of money as a settlement of the civil case, and an apology,
 she would drop the charges.  Look for the civil case to settle within two months,
 without Kobe having to go back to Colorado.

 NOTE that I am not judging the case one way or another, except to say that,
 whether or not Kobe raped the girl, he would not have been convicted -- even in Snow Whiteland.

 Seeing that prosecutor say that the "victim's" desire not to go forward was the reason--the only
 reason--they were dropping the case, while knowing full well that the same prosecutor had withheld
 evidence that appeared to exonerate Kobe--reminded me of the closing of the Whitewater investigation.

 Russ
 

 Kobe's statement basically said, "I did it."
 If he read words that the victim's lawyers drafted, and a check was cashed, that's a settlement.
 But they're still talking about the upcoming civil trial, which means Kobe was an idiot to confess.
 As of today, the best evidence they seem to have is his statement.

 I don't know how you can accidentally rape a woman.
 She was either saying "Give it to me rough, Big Boy," or "Stop it, you sick bastard."
 As far as I know, Kobe's not deaf, so he heard her beg him to stop.

 GOP Rallies Catholics to Support Bush
  War, murder and executions are Catholic staples?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Catholics should campaign hard for Protestant Bush rather than for Catholic Kerry,
 Republican leaders told activists at a rally near the GOP convention on Thursday.

 Minnesota Rep. Mark Kennedy told the activists that a 2003 Vatican rant on Catholics
 in public life meant "we're no longer allowed to believe one way and vote another way,"
 in particular on abortion and conspicuously skirting the death penalty issue for the Giggler.
 

 According to the Catholics, any woman on the pill isn't a real Catholic. Anyone for the
 death penalty isn't a real Catholic.  Anyone on their second, third or fourth wife need not apply,
 and anyone who had sex before marriage is a certain Hell occupant-to-be and that includes
 chrnoic masturbators like Bob Dole.
.
 So if all the "real" Catholics vote for Bush, Kerry will win by 15 million votes.
 

 Comments?

 Subject: Falling for media spin -- Kobe

 Bart, your site shows that you think Kobe's statement is very close to a confession,
 and I agree it sound like that -- clearly his lawyer wouldn't let him give that statement
 unless the terms of the civil case were also settled (unless she's totally stupid).

 <snippage>

 Well, he's made the statement and they are also proceeding with the civil trial.
 Seems like there's no need for a trial once the guy confesses - as it seems he did.

 Quotes

"The Republican Convention goes on all week, and of course, the highlight
  will be toward the end of the week. George Bush will show up for one day,
  you know, just like he did in the National Guard."
     --David Letterman     Attribution
 

 Subject: Jon stole your hammer

 Tonight Stewart and the Daily Show swung the big hammer and smacked the Repugs dead center
 between the eyes. It was a beautiful site to behold. The bit with Lynn Cheney was really putting that
 Cyborg Dick's ass out there. And how about that Zell huh. Wasn't he quite the fruit loop.

 I thought for a minute he was auditioning for the part of Charles Hamilton when he attempts to call
 Rhett out for dishonoring Scarlet. Isn't he just the most pinched up bitter looking old man you ever saw?

 And the interview with McCain was interesting. I really do dislike McCain but I appreciate the fact that
 he can't help but show his true feelings for the Neocons. He has to be doing this with thoughts of a
 Presidential bid in the future, but he would never get my vote just for the fact that he is a spineless, suck ass,
 waste of a hero. If he stood against the Evil Empire and came over from the dark side after the start of the
 Not So Swift boaters, he would still have had a chance to win back the respect of a lot of voters.

 But McCain didn't and instead the chump spoke at Nazicon and spoke out against a film he never even seen.
 The interviews with the Repug delegates was a hoot. Really showed their ignorance. I really like Samantha Bee.
 She interviewed me once when I was in New Hampshire campaigning for the General.
 Well thanks Bart if you read this. I watched Jon and wanted to put down my review.
 Feels good to pound it down with my fingers.

 MariaS
 Northern WI

 GOP backs away from insane bigot

..

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 After gauging the harsh reaction from Democrats and Republicans alike to Sen. Zell Miller's keynote address
 at NaziCon2004, the Bush campaign - led by the first lady - backed away Thursday from Miller's savage attack
 on John Kerry, insisting that the estranged Democrat was speaking only for himself.
 

 We have to figure a way to get rid of Zell Miller.
 The GOP will say, "Those Democrats are crazy and full of hatred."

 AP: Chevron Gave Big to Schwarzenegger
  Musclehead is wholly owned by the biggest polluters on Earth

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Schwarzenegger's ambitious plan to reorganize almost every aspect of state government
 was influenced significantly by oil and gas giant ChevronTexaco Corp., which managed to
 shape such key recommendations as the removal of restrictions on oil refineries.

 Many corporations and interest groups participated in the governor's reform plan but state records
 and interviews with the participants show Chevron enjoyed immense success in influencing the report
 through its array of lobbyists, attorneys and trade organizations.

 And few corporations have spent so much political cash on the governor, either. Since Schwarzenegger's
 election last October, the San Ramon company has contributed more than $200,000 to his committees
 and $500,000 to the California Republican Party.

 Chevron, whose officials acknowledge they lobbied hard to get their ideas in the report, is one of about
 20 companies that paid to send the governor and his staff to NaziCon2004. On Wednesday,
 Musclehead attended a secret meeting with slick oilers, including Chevron. And just three weeks after
 the governor's office released the 2,700-page reorganization report, the company gave $100,000 to
 a Schwarzenegger-controlled political fund.
 

 Big surprise - Musclehead was in bed with Enron when they were raping California.
 That's how he got his job - remember?

 Enron made life unliveable in California and the right-wing media blamed Gray Davis and the Democrats
 were too scared to defend him so he lost his job. Voetrs loved the idea of a movie star directing their futures
 and now we see proof that he's in bed with the bastards who caused the problems in the first place.

  Comments?

 Subject: re Kobe

 Bart,

 I wasn't there but think Kobe figured out how dip damn nuts this gal is,
 thus the inference to why he now understands "how she feels that she did not consent..."

 I think that extra pair of non Kobe semen stained undies was her undoing, plus as an added,
 the man who was involved with her refused to come forward. I mean, what is the mystery here?

 If I were going to make it a point to get to Kobe's room and then beg off from in progress sex,
 I don't think I would be making rape claims. I also wouldn't be going to a man's room, especially
 one I really didn't know, and expect to be served tea and have casual talk.

 Nope, I think this case was bullshit through and through.
 Norma
 

 Norma, good point.
 I read that statement online, and I could probably tell more hearing him say it.

 But why even go there?
 Why did Kobe's attys let him say that with the civil trial looming?

 What was the purpose of that statement, compared to, "I'm looking forward to getting back
 to my family and my job and I wish the best for everyone involved in this case."

 Subject: Re: Today in History has been cancelled

 Yeah, man,  I didn't want to pile on, I just didn't read the thing.
 Not because I didn't get it, as so many of the dozens didn't, but because it just wasn't funny.

 In the search for things to post on a humor site, let the term "not funny" serve as a warning sign.
 What the hell.  You gave it a shot, and let your balls hang out there.
 So try something else, and keep swingin' (hammer--balls--whatever).

 Tim
 Denton, TX
 

 It's too bad it didn't work.
 To me, it was like a game show.
 You go on Hollywood Squares and you must to agree or disagree with the statement:
"In 1923, the Japanese cities of Tokyo and Yokohama were devastated by Jimmy Doolittle's bombers."

 So you think to yourself...
 There was a Doolittle and he did something in Japan, but wasn't that WWII?
 Yes, it was WWII, so that statement is false and I'm willing to gamble on that!

 ha ha

 Damn, I'd watch a show like that.

 I think it would be fun if someone put together a couple of hundred historical "facts"
 and we could gamble (small stakes, of course) on whether or not they were true.

 But it was angering so many people.
 I had to send out that much more mail everyday, explaining it wasn't meant to be true.
 Day after day on the page, I told people it was a joke, but they couldn't comprehend the thought.
 So, to quote Beyonce's boyfriend, "I got 99 problems but Today in History ain't one of them."

 Kerry 'will fight back' his sister says

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 It is a sad day for the American people when the only thing that the current administration
 can talk about is negative, slanderous attacks against their opponent.
 Sadly that has been the tactic of this administration and the Republican party in this election
 because they have nothing positive, it seems, to talk about on their own record and their own achievements.
 John Kerry is a fighter. He will hit back. He will continue to take the case to the American people.

 Subject: your fried chicken recipe was great!

 Hey Bart,

 Just wanted to let you know I was browsing your site and came across your fried chicken recipe.
 I picked up all the ingredients and made some the other night.
 Man - o - Man was that good!

 I'll have to work on seasoning it a little better.
 Even though it will probably sit in my colon for three weeks, it was well worth it!

 Your friends at
 dubyaD40.com

 Guantanamo Farce

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"The Bush administration is ignoring, if not defying outright, the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling that all
 terror suspects must be able to challenge their imprisonment. The opening round of detainee military
 tribunals at Guantanamo Bay last week resembled something between a Mel Brooks farce and the
 kangaroo courts of former Ugandan dictator Idi Amin. Maybe Captain Kangaroo courts. The proceedings
 didn't look anything like justice, military or otherwise. Meanwhile, two U.S. citizens still sit in military brigs,
 isolated from their lawyers and months if not years away from the hearings the high court says they deserve."
 

 Comments?

  Britney's used gum sells for $14K on EBay
   You can buy a decent car for $14K, so why buy used gum?

  Click  Here
 

  Thailand's 'human piggy bank' spills all
   Crazy dude swallowed over two kilos of loose change

  Click  Here
 

 Okla Prison Guards Find Basketball Full of Pot
  Oklahoma State Penitentiary officials found two pounds of pot inside

  Click  Here
 

 Mortgage rates fall to five-month low
   Of course, the economy is still crashing under Bush

  Click  Here

 Subject: Republican baby-killers

 Hey there, Bart.
 As I was enjoying your latest issue, you published:

> "It's like calling pro-choicers "baby killers," the honest Republicans (I guess that's only Keyes)
>  have to admit Bush is the son of two baby killers and he married a baby killer and his two kids
>  are baby killers - but only Keyes is honest enough to state the facts."
 

 Really?  Did Dumbya's wife, parents or children ever procure abortions?
 I've long suspected that Pickles did.  (Any anti-abortionist who only has two children is automatically
 suspicious to me.)  But, can you cite any sources?  I'd love to point this out to the Repugs here in hickland
 (southeastern Ohio), but they'd never believe it without proof.  Love to here from you on this.

 Jade
 

 Jade, we're talking about different things.
 The GOP calls anyone who believes in choice, "a baby killer."
 When you remind them most Bushes are pro-choice, they change the subject.
 

  Comments?

 Page, Plant's 'Unledded' to be released 10/26
  DVD includes "Black Dog," from the American Music Awards

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"Unledded" which premiered in 1994 on MTV, features a mix of acoustic and electric tracks,
 including "Kashmir," "Gallows Pole" and "When the Levee Breaks" -- along with 17 tracks
 filmed in Morocco and Wales and studio segments filmed in London.
 

 There's a fun story about that AMA "Black Dog."
 Black Dog has one of the most distinctive riffs in rock history, but...

 At the time they played the AMAs, they were fueding with John Paul Jones (bass) who wrote that riff,
 so they played the song (live from Australia with accompanying diggery doos, whatever those are called)
 but Page never played the Black Dog riff!

 It's a very strange-sounding song without that signature riff.

 Subject: Kerry

 I to think we are in trouble, Kerry is not only disappointing me, he is letting us all down.
 We are fighting Don Corelone, not a simpleton from Texas. This is a ruthless bunch of thugs,
 and the only way to beat them is a great line from "The Untouchables"

 If they hit you will a stick, hit them with a bat, if they kill one of yours, kill three of them.
 This is a war for democracy, I do not want to go into the night like a lamb to slaughter.

 I Meyers
 

 IM, Bush is Fredo, his family is the Corleones.

 Why Democrats shouldn't be scared
   by Michael Moore

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 There were the sub-par entertainers nobody knew. There was the show of "Black Republicans,"
"Arab-American Republicans" and other minorities they trot out to show how much they are loved
 by groups their policies abuse.

 And there were the Band-Aids. The worst display of how out of touch the Republicans are was those
 Purple Heart Band-Aids the delegates wore to mock Kerry over his war wounds, which, for them,
 did not spill the required amount of blood.

 What they didn't seem to get is that watching at home might have been millions of war veterans feeling
 that they were being ridiculed by a bunch of rich Republicans who would never send their own offspring
 to die in Fallujah or Danang.
 

 That was nice of Mike - trying to make us feel better.
 But I wish that headline was, "Why Democrats should be confident."

 Scott Peterson is innocent?

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Detective Lydell Wall testified that at exactly 8:40 a.m. on December 24 someone used the home laptop
 to look at a five-day weather forecast for San Jose and a Yahoo shopping site featuring a garden weather vane.
 At 8:44 a.m., a Gap fleece scarf, priced at $6.99, was viewed, as well as a sunflower motif umbrella stand for
 $29.99. At 8:45 a.m. Peterson's e-mail account was accessed and an e-mail (regarding a Ping Staff golf bag he
 had auctioned on eBay) was viewed, but no e-mails were sent. Wall said he was never asked to review web-surfing
 habits for Scott and Laci to try and determine which of them was using the computer. The sunflower motif umbrella
 is interesting because Laci had a sunflower tattoo on her ankle.

 Of course, if this someone was Laci, then that totally rules out a two-trip to the Marina possibility, as some argue that
 he made a trip to the Marina to dispose of her and the second trip, the fishing trip, was either to create an alibi or to be
 sure she hadn't floated up.  It doesn't rule out the one-trip theory, as he still does have time to murder her and load her
 into the truck by the 10:08 cell phone call.  But, it borders on the ridiculous to think he would have a dead body in his
 truck and be taking the time to check voice mail, sending his boss email Christmas greetings, and building a mortiser.
 All of this would be done in broad daylight with umpteen opportunities for eye witnesses to see him doing something suspicious.

 But what is telling is not so much the possibility that Laci was alive and on the computer on that morning, but that the
 Prosecution didn't introduce this information themselves.  It appears as if they wanted to hide it.  And, the fact that they
 didn't even ask Wall to try and determine whether it was Laci or Scott that used the computer suggests that they didn't
 want to know if it was Laci.  That's very disturbing.

 Subject: Bush's speech was lame

 GOP conventions have sure changed over the years. There's a lot of things you don't hear about anymore
 that the Republicans used to at least give lip service to. What you don't hear is the words Balanced Budget anymore.
 They no longer talk of Paying off the National Debt, Where is the Social Security Lock Box. We are not debating what
 we are going to do with the surplus like we were 4 years ago. The only new idea he introduced was federal funding of churches.

 In spite of all the talk of terrorism and 9-11 - not once did Bush mention the name of Osama bin Laden.  That tells me that Bush
 isn't serious about getting the guy who actually attacked America. We have a president who can't identify the enemy.

 He talks about our soldiers confronting terrorists - but the terrorists aren't in Iraq and never were. Our soldiers were sent to fight
 in the wrong country. All in all - Bush's speech was pretty weak compared to the other speaker like Democrat Zell Miller and
 the pro-choice liberal Republicans who dominated the GOP convention. If this is a poker game - Bush is playing with an empty hand.

 Marc Perkel
 San Francisco, CA

 George W. Bush's missing year
  Did they see him do any National Guard service? "Good lord, no."

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Linda Allison's story, never before published, contradicts the Bush campaign's assertion that
 George W. Bush transferred from the Texas ANG to the Alabama NG in 1972 because he received
 an irresistible offer to gain high-level experience on the campaign of Bush family friend Winton "Red" Blount.
 In fact, according to what Allison says her late husband told her, the younger Bush had become a political
 liability for his father, who was UN ambassador, and the family wanted him out of Texas. "I think they
 wanted someone they trusted to keep an eye on him," Linda Allison said.

"After about a month I asked Jimmy what was Georgie's job, because I couldn't figure it out. I never saw
 him do anything. He told me it basically consisted of him contacting people who were impressed by his
 name and asking for contributions and support," Allison said. .
 

..
"Only little people work, I'm above all that..."

 I'm watching some GOP monkey on CNN explaining that Bush inherited an economy
 that was in recession, and I'm thinking - if that's true, why did Bush say everyone should get
 a big tax cut because the economy was in such great shape and the government had a surplus?

 Will Kerry mention that?

 I got one of those "We're planning to fight back" generic, form letters
 from the Kerry campaign so I wrote to them:
 

 Bush now has a big lead.
 Why is Kerry sleeping his way thru this?

 He promised to fight, but so far - nothing.
 Is he going to be another Gore?

 bart
 bartcop.com

 
 Of course, they won't answer.
 They think they're doing a great job.

 I hope John had fun on his windsurfing vacation while
 Team Bush was racking up points and personal insults.
 The latest polls show Bush ahead by as many as nine points,
 and that poll was taken before the close of NaziCon2004.
 
 Will Bush get a big bounce for attacking?
 Or is Kerry right - aggression turns off voters?

 From: Faun Otter

 Subject: Kerry's last chance to windsurf

  Click  Here

..

 Subject: Kobe comment

 Get off Kobe!
 The statement you referred was NOT an admission of guilt.
 It was just a way of bringing a completely flawed trial from beginning.
 The 'accuser' is a brazen liar who was afraid that her prevarications would be exposed to the entire world.

 I've noticed a definite pattern with you.... whenever the chance presents itself
 you unfailingly take a position against any Black person who's the subject of discussion.

 Check yourself.
 David E
 

 My anti-black bigotry is well known all over the internet, as is my anti-Israel stand.
 Plus, my wars against the Red man and midgets are well known, along with the Palestinians
 and those cheese-eating, surrender monkeys, the French.
 
 I also hate people whose names beging with "M" or N," and tall people.
 Same for women, retards, geeks, dweebs and cancer patients.

 I also don't like Texans, red-haired men and actors - and don't forget the Irish!.
 I hate car license plates with "4s" in them, and instant mashed potatos*.
 I have no use for most English comics and most non-Texan American guitar players.

 I also can't stand putting a hook in barbed wire and running it up one nostril,
 then pulling it thru while having it come out the other nostril - boy do I hate that.
 I hate moonlight walks on the beach and people who part their hair on the right.
 
 Funny, I have no problem with people named "David" making wild-ass accusations.
 

 Dallas weekend
 
 There must be one million cars on the Dallas Loop - at all times.
 Like Chicago, these inner-city Interstate highways are wall-to-wall stopped traffic at 2 PM.
 I can understand rush hour traffic, but not in the middle of the day.

 Our flight was cancelled, but "No problem," they had another one only three hours later.
 It's fun to find ways to slow time down, and an airport can do that.

 When we arrived, AVIS said my credit card failed to go thru, and that caused an eruption.
 In all the time I've been an AVIS "Preferred Customer," they've only done it right once.
 They're supposed to take me right to my car, but nooooooooooooooooooo.
 I always end up standing in that damn like and I'm a busy man with shit to do.
 Then, my rental car with XM-Radio turned out to be a Ford-made piece of crap,
 no XM-Radio and a not-so-cold air conditioner ...and this is Dallas, Texas.

 Sidebar:
 "Dallas" is an Indian word for "Christ, this place is hot."

 One thing worked right - the lunch we had at Ninfa's Mexican Restaurant was great,
 but, of course, they only had not-quite-tequilas like Cuervo Gold.
 Why build a million dollar restaurant and then offer cheap-ass Cuervo?
 
 However, I was able to save a life at lunch.
 When Mrs Bart ordered her food, she asked for, "some onions on the side."
 The waitress informed her that her requested order "didn't come with onions."
 I saw Mrs Bart clutch her fork real tight and I knew exactly what was coming,
 so I stood up and quickly got between the two of them - and no blood was spilled.

 Good luck to the Big Dog with his surgery, and you Florida democrats.

 We're visiting her folks, back in K-Drag Monday
 

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 Copyright © 2004, bartcop.com

..
                  Shirley Manson of Garbage

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 Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member - for free!

 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

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