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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... They got Iraq's #2 evildoer? The Tentacles of Rage Amnesia in the Garden D-r-i-v-e   b-y   N-e-w-s  Hollywood Liberal Does Time The Perception of Victory Alas, it really happened Eldrick's big weekend The Pickles Joke   Quote of the Day "If Cheney's pace-maker was connected   to a polygraph, he'd be history by now."       --Carl Hiaasen,    Attribution

 

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 Quotes

"They said Howard Dean was a loose cannon,
  but compared to John Kerry, at least Dean has a cannon."
    --Bill Maher, talking to Dean last Friday, on Maher's HBO show

 Bush says they got Iraq's #2 evildoer
  ... but the Iraqi defense minister says Bush's claims are "baseless"

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Iraq's top information official told The Associated Press that al-Douri was seized while receiving
 medical treatment at a clinic near Adwar and that DNA tests were underway to confirm his identity.
 Al-Douri reportedly suffers from leukemia, and needs blood transfusions.

 Later, however, the Iraqi defense minister, Hazem Shaalan, said in an interview with Lebanon's LBC TV
 that reports that Izzat Ibrahim was captured were "baseless."  "We don't have any information on this
 subject or on the reports that allegedly came out from the defense ministry," he said.
 

 The American press loves Bush so much they're reporting this as "another victory" for him.
 

  Comments?

 Hollywood Liberal Arrested, Does Time
  His crime?  Following the directions of the New York Police

  Click  Here  for Part Two

 Quotes

"The brief obituaries of almost a thousand young men and women dead in Iraq tear at my heart:
  the promise of lives obliterated and a wake of pain left behind -- some of it to blight the survivors
  for the rest of their lives. And what of the grief of the Iraqi survivors we watch without much
  sympathy as they scream at us on the TV screen? They are only Arabs, no more important in our
  calculations than the Indians wiped out by cowboys or the cavalry in old-fashioned Westerns."
      --Andrew Greeley,    Bush's lies cause untold pain

 Tentacles of Rage

  Click  Here

  Exerpt:
 $300M CONSERVATIVE MESSAGE MACHINE

 TELEVISION
      Pat Robertson's 700 Club
      Fox News Channel
      MSNBC's Scarborough Country
      Oliver North's War Stories

 RADIO
      The Rush Limbaugh Show
      The Cal Thomas Commentary
      Radio America

 PUBLISHING
      Eagle Publishing, Inc.

 NEWSPAPERS
      The Washington Times
      The Wall Street journal

 WEBSITES
      Townhall.com
      AnnCoulter.com
 

..
"This is my posse - my peeps..."

  Comments?

 Quotes

"Conservative radio Nazi Rush Limbaugh, 53, is dating CNN anchor Daryn Kagan, 41,
  a spokesman for Limbaugh has confirmed to us.  The coupling (gag me) came as a surprise
  to some friends who consider Kagan part of the liberal media axis and a feminist.
  Kagan, who has been notoriously underpaid at CNN for 10 years, hosts "CNN Live Today,"
  which airs from 10 a.m. to noon, ending just in time to catch her Pigboy's three-hour hatefest.
     --WaHoPo reports
 

..

 I hate that.
 I remember saying good things about her.
 Oh well, maybe she's into Oxycotin or maybe she wants a share of that $280M

 Hollywood Liberal Arrested, Does Time
  His crime?  Following the directions of the New York Police

  Click  Here  for Part Three

  Click  Here  to get three  Shows (up to six hours) on CD delivered for just $24
  Subscribe to Bartcop

 Quotes

'The American media is an embarrassment. They've gotten more and more lame and compliant
 and easily manipulated. A lot of it is TV driven - CNN, CNBC, Fox, all zigging and zagging,
 and watching what the other is doing."
   --Carl Hiaasen, "Once upon a time in America"
 
 

 Carl fails to point out that FOX News is leading and the others are following.
 We haven't pointed this out in a while, but remember the Classic Star Trek when
 the transporter split Kirk into two polar opposites in The Enemy Within?
 

 The Republican Kirk is a power freak who demands Romulan Ale and Yeoman Rand naked.
 The Democratic Kirk is weak and afraid, he frets and wets himself, asking if he's up to the job.

 Spock formulates his theory that it is the evil half of Kirk where the strength of command resides
 and that without his negative side Kirk is losing his ability to make command decisions.
"We have a unique look into the psycological makeup of a man.
   It appears it is man's darker side that has the ability to lead."
 

 Is this why the Democrats are so weak and scared?
 Because being nice and playing fair are more important than winning?

 Subject: Kobe

 Bart--

 Sounded like a confession to me.
 I don't think his attorney would have let him say it
 unless there was a settlement in the offing.

 Waiting is just for show.
 Scott
 

 Scott, that's the definition of "quid pro quo."
 He says "I'm sorry" and she cashes the check.

 Saying "I'm sorry" and hoping the other side does
 what they promised is how a Democrat negotiates.

 Amnesia in the Garden
   by "the ultra-leftist" Maureen Dowd

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The Manichaean Candidate's convention was a brazen bizarro masterpiece. The case to sack
 John Kerry featured the same shady tactics used to build the case to whack Saddam - cherry-picked facts,
 selective claims and warped contexts.  W. took a page from Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Total Recall,"
 a futuristic movie about inserting fully formed memories into the minds of unsuspecting victims.

 The president and vice president ignored all the expert evidence now compiled indicating no link between
 9/11 and Saddam, and no Saddam threat to U.S. security. After talking about "the fanatics who killed some
 3,000 of our fellow Americans," Dick Cheney boasted: "In Iraq, we dealt with a gathering threat, and removed
 the regime of Saddam Hussein."

 Though the convention mythologized Mr. Bush's bullhorn moment at ground zero, there was no mention
 of Osama, the fiend W. vowed to catch that day. The speakers did not acknowledge the brutal spiral in
 Afghanistan and Iraq, or the re-emergence of the Taliban, now finding sanctuary with our ally, Pakistan.
 

 I didn't catch every speaker at DemoCon2004, but did anybody mention Bush's vow to catch bin Laden?
 Knowing the Democrats, and seeing them in "action" for dozens of years, I imagine they considered calling Bush
 on his promises "playing dirty" and refused to mention how he broke his word so he could chase after someone,
 anyone he could actually find, so the press would make him out to be some big war hero.

 The Brazil Report
   by  bartcopbrazil@yahoo.com

  Click  Here

 Quotes

"All the smears and lies and misrepresentations emanating from the Republicans cannot erase
  the simple fact that George W. Bush risks and ruins the lives of men and women in Iraq and
  Afghanistan but would not risk his own in Vietnam. He used his family's power and privilege
  to gain entry into the Air National Guard, evade combat and go absent from duty while other
  people died in a war that he and his family promoted. Clearly, we have not escaped the
  hallucinatory legacy of the 1960s, the enduring rage over the defeat in Vietnam that distorts
  memory and history. A swaggering and irresponsible coward (what else is Bush but that?)
  insinuates (through his underlings) that his opponent, whose war record is beyond reproach,
  was not as brave or patriotic as he claims to be. And the press lends credibility to these
  right-wing, whacko smears? This is the sort of world that George Orwell feared and that
  Joseph Goebbels tried to create. For shame. No American who believes in democracy or
  decency should tolerate that."
        --Andrew Feffer, Letter to the Editor,    Attribution
 

 The problem is, the press can make more money praising Bush, so that's what they're doing.
 They're giving Bush a megaphone and echo chamber Goebbels never dreamed of.

 Subject: gutless democrats

 I can't BEGIN to say how depressed and disheartened I am by the "campaign" I've seen to date.

 Admittedly, Georgia is not a "swing state," but I've seen active duty military men getting into cars
 with Kerry stickers on the bumper.    The Republicans trashed John McCain in SC, called him insane
 and implied he cheated on his wife and fathered a (GASP) black child, they trashed Sen. Max Cleland,
 a triple amputee for God's sake, and put up a TV ad with his face next to Saddam and bin Laden's.

 WHEN WILL THE DEMOCRATS STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES?

 I'm pushing 59 and I don't know how much more of this stuff (a polite word for what I would MUCH
 rather say)  I can tolerate.  I was physically sick at my stomach after the 2002 elections here in Georgia.
 Now we have Diebold touch-screen voting machines, so you can cross us off ....    Thanks for listening.

 Here in Savannah it's obvious we don't have rant control!
 Please feel free to use my name.

 Marion G. Paquin
 Savannah, GA

 Alas, it really happened

  Click  Here
 

 Welcome to Texas.
 Wecolme to Bush Country.
 Welcome to Bigoted Bastards R Us.

 Watching Meet the Whore Sunday I was struck by the fact that when it comes to Iraq,
 the position of the majority of the readers of this page is closer to that of Pat Buchanan
 than it is John Kerry, the man we all desperately want to be the next president.

 Buchanan says the war in Iraq is a disaster and we had no reason in the world to invade
 while Kerry said knowing what he knows now, he agrees with Bush's decision to invade.

 I think the actual reality of their positions is different than that last sentence, but Kerry is so
 impossibly inarticulate at saying what he means that his political enemies have defined his
 position for him and we're now stuck with that.

 How can a man with Kerry's brains and experience be so easily manipulated?
 How did Kerry manage to talk himself into a box that's so small, his opponents
 can say his position and Bush's position on Iraq are virtually identical?

 Kerry has essentially defined himself as a Bush clone, and the GOP is arguing why would
 the voters choose a Bush clone when they can have the real thing, one that doesn't waver?

 Russert: Kerry is behind by 11 points. Is his candidacy in trouble?
 Carville:  Sure, but he can come back.

 Has Kerry already lost this election?
 No, because anything can happen.

 But with Kerry's history of Titanic-sized schoolboy gaffes and increasingly horrid photo-ops
 that make him appear to out-tank Dukakis, can we expect change in the next 57 days?
 

 ...and if this subject upsets you (like it upsets me) don't write and say,
"Fuck you, you Kerry-hating, GOP-loving Bart."

 Write and tell me where I'm wrong.

  Comments?

 Subject: Your 'Democrats are trying to lose' angle

 Hey there Bartcop,

 Colour me humbled. For quite awhile I've had my doubts that you were right in claiming that the Democrats
 weren't really putting up a fight. I thought that, with the right-wing media only reporting things that made the
 Bushies look good, and distorting the hell out of any sign of Democratic backbone (ala "Arrrgh!"); that most
 Democratic counter-punches were simply going unreported. Randi Rhodes made a good case for view
 several times by sighting a few excellent responses by Democrats I'd never heard.

 But now the "Are they trying to lose?" question seems to be on everyone's lips.
 Maybe it's not so much that Kerry isn't fighting back, but more that he's naively sticking to the rules of "civilized"
 combat while his enemies couldn't make it any clearer that this is a street brawl. He's in a "Gentleman Jim" boxing
 stance, as his opponents pour into the ring by the hundreds carrying metal chairs, crowbars and motorcycle chains.
 He's allowed us to be "The Generals" to the GOP's Globetrotters; never realizing that such a game is fixed for the
 get-go, with the only remaining question being how much humiliation we'll suffer when the final buzzer goes off.

 And you called this, what... 3,4 years ago? You make me proud to be a subscriber.
 There wouldn't be much point to being a member of an organization that couldn't offer me anything more
 than the feeling that I was always right about everything.

 Cheers,
 Rex Devious
 

 I get a lot of mail saying "We can't stoop to "their level," but "their level" has gotten them the White House,
 the Senate, the House, the Supreme Court, the media, the military and the appointment of federal judges.

 Meanwhile, we're taking the f-ing high road right into wherever the horse and buggy and rotary phones went.

 I'm slowly going insane with frustration.
 Kerry can still win this, and he's playing like he's got a dozen aces up his sleeve,
 but the time for Kerry to start fighting was back in March - what's he waiting for?

 Quotes

"The tactical point of this Republican convention is to show the allegedly "compassionate"
  side of the Republicans. It's working. What makes a viewer particularly nauseous is
  watching the television media roll over to have its tummy rubbed by Republicans."
    --John Doyle,   Attribution

 Subject: familiar dogma

 Bart, don't know if this is stuff you can make something out of.

 The so called reverend Fallwell said the 911 attack was because Gays and Abortion ect.,
 Does he now think the Hurricanes, one after the other are a sign that the state of Florida
 voted for Bush and are being punished ?  Wish you could ask him.

 John B
 

 John, that's another reason why religion is screwy.
 When a bomb goes off in Iraq and a soldier doesn't die, he might say, "God saved me."
 So why didn't God save the 993 brave soldiers we've lost so far?

 Comments?

  Cyclist Attacked by Grizzly Bear in Wyoming
   Bad-ass killer bear was afraid of his bicycle

  Click  Here
 

  Source: Bill Clinton in Operating Room
   Big Dog found a doctor who works holidays?

  Click  Here
 

 Stunned Russians Observe Day of Mourning
  Emergency Situations Ministry said 156 of the dead were children

  Click  Here

 Subject: Today in History

 Bart, you were doing it all wrong.
 With your humorous "Today in History" facts and alterations thereof,
 ultimately, you pissed people off because you misrepresented it.

 Actually, you failed to let your audience in on the joke.  Unless you have
 a terminal fascination with England's version of "dry humour," most people
 like to know in unsubtle terms when humor is being attempted.
 

 <much snippage>
 

 If people think Poland invaded Nazi Germany to start WWII
 they must be reading  bartcop.com  for the cartoons.

 ...and Cleopatra being bitten on the ass?
 That joke is older than Rodney Dangerfield's "Cadirrac" joke.
 

  Comments?

 Hollywood Liberal Arrested, Does Time
  His crime?  Following the directions of the New York Police

  Click  Here  for Part Four

 The Perception of Victory

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 In the meantime, the dutiful, pandering Republican lapdog puppet, Schwarzenegger, has such weak faith
 in his own principles, principles that he purported to observe while asking Californians to vote for him
 during his campaign to recall Gray Davis, that he dared not mention a single one of them at NaziCon2004.
 They include support for pro-choice, pro-gay rights, pro-gun control and other supposedly deeply held
 beliefs that are repugnant and contrary to the Republican Party's platform.

 But "girlie man" has become a byword for the Republicans and it has stuck to Democrats or others who
 oppose the nonmilitary-combat, pathetic mob in the White House. Is this déjà vu all over again with memories
 of the false accusations against Al Gore from those who said he invented the Internet? That false claim carried
 right into the 2000 election. Late night TV talk show hosts continued to ridicule Al Gore with that falsehood
 even after the election was over.

 Bomb Near Fallujah Kills 7 Marines
  Four more years! Four more years!

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A massive car bomb exploded Monday, killing seven U.S. Marines and wounding several others,
 a U.S. military official said, in the deadliest attack on Americans since May.

 The attack destroyed two Humvees, witnesses said. Medical teams in helicopters swept into the dusty,
 barren site to ferry away the injured, and troops sealed off the surrounding area.

 In Baghdad, a spokesman said that medical tests on a man being held in custody showed he is not
 Saddam's deputy, Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri, ending conflicting claims about his purported arrest.
 

 No matter what Bush does, no matter how many times he's caught lying, no matter how many
 military families have to bury their dead - they want Bush to stay the course. The American media
 has decided Bush is the Second Coming, so facts, reality and truth are nuisances to be discarded.

 Subject: Bush crony in Florida

 BC,

 The article talks about Bush installing a crony to oversee Broward County elections.
 Big Deal!

 Maryland's Republican Governor Ehrlich just FIRED the head of the Elections Committee
 in Maryland for complaining about the Diebold machines.  He is busy installing a Bush crony
 to supervise elections statewide in Maryland.

 http://www.mddems.org/index.php?display=ReleaseDetails&id=140286

 Dennis
 

 Let me guess: ...the Maryland democrats didn't mind at all?

 The GOP's Script Gets Blown Away
  Pundit Pap from APJ.US

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Little George Stephanopoulos seemed rather breathless this morning -- and, for a change,
 didn't let his obsequiousness towards Republicans get the better of him.

 Georgie seems to be laboring under the delusion that if he really kisses booty when he has
 Republican guests, they'll forget about the years he spent working for Bill Clinton. Somebody
 should sit that boy down and explain to him that the only reason he GOT this gig in the first place
 is because of his connection to Bill Clinton -- and his sleazy exit from that administration.
 "Former employee? Now ready to bash? Bay-bee, have we got a gig for YOU!"
 

..
"That Steffie boy is kinda cute - I gotta give him a nickname..."

 Subject: John Kerry

 Really! You have been critical of the man cause he won't:
 then he did, and you failed to mention it. ?

 Did what? When, where?
 

 I thought his riff last night was good.  But, what do I know.
 BTW, those who know him best say that he was waiting for
 them to launch all of their weapons before responding.

 I hope this is the case, though it seems a little like a loser's scenerio to me . . . .
 Keep Hammerin' (But give credit where credit is due)
 Veritas

 Eldrick having one of his best weekends in years

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
"You don't get to No. 1 in the world by finishing in the top 10. You have to win," Eldrick says.

 He's won eight major titles, but has been blanked in the last 10, failing to earn his ninth major
 since he won the U.S. Open at Bethpage in 2002.

 Tonight, Monday the sixth, the Sundance Channel begins airing The Al Franken Show.
 It's a test run from now until November to see if anybody will watch.

 Is there a reason to watch?
 Howard Stern does his show on E!, the boring Don Imus does his snoozefest on MSGOP,
 so they're giving Franken a try to see if people will watch radio on TV without spanked lesbians.

 "I'm the eye candy," says Franken.

 Quotes

"If ever there were high crimes and misdemeanors, the lies about the war in Iraq fit that category.
  We are an odd people. We impeach a president because he lied about his private sex life, which
  killed no one and harmed no one beyond his family. Yet we support and may well re-elect a ''strong''
  president whose lies are responsible for so many flag-draped caskets, so many poignant obituaries,
  and so much grief. How many women are sobbing in church these days because of Bush's lies?"
    --Andrew Greeley,   Bush's lies cause untold pain
 
 

 The GOP impeached Clinton knowing the Democrats would never impeach their criminals no matter what.
 It's easy to bully the bigger kids of you know they'll never fight back - no matter what.

 Last night we watched "All the President's Men," with Redford and Hoffman.
 It was creepy hearing them say, "They're all involved - Justice, the FBI, the CIA, the Attorney General..."

 These days, Bernstein says Bush is "America's nightmare," but Woodward loves Bush with all his heart.
 The White House loves Woodward, too. They tell Woodward stuff they don't tell Powell.

 I'm so old, I remember when the press was the enemy of crooked presidents.
 Today, Woodweard and the WaHoPo are partners in the deception of America.

 Then I thought of G. Gordon Liddy, and his radio advice to anyone with a gun:
"If a federal agent comes to arrest you, remember to shoot at his head
  since they wear bullet-proof vests around their chests."

..

 Subject: Does Bart have a sense of humor?

 George and Pickles are at a Yankee's Game, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people.

 One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and says something to Dubya.   First he stares at the guy,
 looks at Pickles, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head violently.   The agent then said,
 "Mr. President, it was an unanimous request from the owner of the team to the bat boy."

 What really gets Dubya going is when the agent tells him the fans would love it!   So he says,
"If that is what the people want."   Then he gets up, grabs Pickles by her collar and the seat of her pants,
 and drops her over the wall into the field. She gets up swearing and the crowd goes wild, cheering and applauding.

 Dubya is smiling, and tells the agent, "You were right, I would have never believed that!"

 Then noticing the agent has gone totally pale, he asks what is wrong.
 The agent replies, "Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the first pitch!"

 Hahahahahahahahahaha...that's a good one!

 Larry McBride

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..
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 You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
 That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on your next American tour.

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